#pls pls someone validate my musings
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lesbianyosano Ā· 1 year ago
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there's still like two weeks until the next chapter release and obv there's no guarantee whose pov we're going to get, but i feel the need to talk about how i think fukuzawa needs to die and why it may happen now, during his confrontation with fukuchi at the airport
first of all, his ability. like many other abilities it's a plot device, used specifically to enable atsushi and kyouka to use their abilities in a controled way. this obviously works when they first join the agency, helping them regain agency over their lives in some capacity and learn how to utilize them in safe way. but for either of them (but atsushi specifically) to have a full and satisfying character arc they need to be able to use their abilities without an external factor. fukuzawa won't be in their lives forever (regardless what happens on the airport) and it would be,, anticlimactic almost to leave them only kind of in control of their own powers. also, in both their cases gaining control over the abilities isn't just a matter of harnessing power, it's about self-acceptance and reconciliation with their past. atsushi needs to come to terms with the tiger living inside of him the same way kyouka needs to accept demon snow's involvement in her parents death. fukuzawa's death is the only thing that can force them into further character development in this sense
another thing is just how much asagiri went out of his way to establish kunikida as the next ada president. don't get me wrong, even if fukuzawa never dies in the manga those chapters will still hold up both as an excellent character study and a fun information to have, but looking at them from the current perspective it's a chekov's gun. we are told exactly why it's supposed to be kunikida and that he's backed by the other agency members. and to add to that, the cannibalism arc establishes his own doubts regarding being expected to be the leader and his issues with easily shutting down when in extreme stress. i've seen people say that this is proof he's not fit for the position and that it should be ranpo instead, but to me that's just establishing a character arc, showing a flaw he'd have to overcome
and i suppose in general, fukuzawa dying would have an enormous impact of the agency members as a whole. just ranpo and yosano would be put into an extreme situation, where the person they're incredibly close with, who gave them a safe place to be themselves is now gone and they have to navigate the world on their own. and we have no idea how much all men are equal impacts everyone's abilities. im thinking specifically about kenji here. we know the reason he followed fukuzawa was so that he could get his ability under control but how bad is it without his help? is light snow even more powerful than shown until now? are the limitations on yosano's and kunikida's abilities arbitrary?
and the last thing is, fukuzawa's death would play well into the over arching theme of the death of the status quo. nothing will be the same after this arc, even if cleared of the terrorism accusation the agency won't just go back to how it used to operate, likely having to regain public trust.
so yeah i hope he dies and i hope fukuchi dies alongside him. i love you old men yaoi <3
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birbleafs Ā· 1 month ago
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Mentally, I'm still here rotating this animation of chibi-Haitham in my head. I just love how low-key enthusiastic he is while jotting his notes/sketches(?) down because he had observed something he found interesting hhdjdjjsjkk I love this feeble scholar and his gap moe ā™„ā™„ Also forever yelling about how heā€™s writing with his left hand hehehe HELLO FELLOW LEFTY!? And ambidextrous Kavetham headcanon validated?? Actually, it's not too surprising to me if Alhaitham really is left-handed/ambidextrous, considering how he's a dual-sword wielder. Still, it's so nice to be able to see it animated here. I like to imagine that maybe Kaveh and Alhaitham both learnt to be ambidextrous during their Akademiya years together, not by necessity, but as friendly competition just for that added advantage over the other lol.
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I find it doubly interesting too that besides Nahida (who can see the forest spirits because she's the Dendro Archon/Goddess ruler of Sumeru), the other two characters who appear in this web event and can seemingly interact with the Aranara are Nilou and Alhaitham. Is Hoyo implying that besides Rana, there's also a possibility that both Nilou and Alhaitham can still see the Aranara, even as adults? That the Aranara trust Nilou and Alhaitham enough to reveal themselves, because they are "dreamers favoured by tree and flower" (Nilou), and still possess "child-like curiosity/are true to themselves" (Alhaitham)** ? **Note: This second line isn't a canon in-game quote; it's merely my personal musing about why Aranara only trust and show themselves only to children, and not adults.
....Buuut as this is simply a fun web event, I wouldn't take it too seriously as actual canon confirmation that both of them can see and interact with Aranara in the same capacity as Rana, Yoimiya, and the Traveller. Still, it's a cute headcanon that I can get behind for fanfic/fanart shenanigans and hilarity. Alhaitham's childhood backtory with his Grandmother and the Aranara in his 2nd SQ pls hoyo, thanks. It would be especially amusing tooā€”because between the two, Kaveh canonically has never seen Aranara before (he doesnā€™t seem to remember seeing them as a child either), so I can't help but laugh just thinking about his reaction if and when he realises one day, that the ugly wood carvings Alhaitham keeps buying home are of the little forest spirits that Alhaitham still retains fond childhood memories of, and some of whom he still sees and bumps into from time to time XD Or, an even more hilarious scenario to consider: What if that "someone" that Kaveh mentioned in his birthday art this year was actually Alhaitham, who had shown Kaveh his (ugly) sketches of the Aranara he met before and suggested for the children's book illustration Kaveh was commissioned for? No doubt Kaveh would have felt rightfully compelled to re-imagine how these forest spirits looked like because Alhaitham's attempts at art never fails to raise all the hairs at the back of his neck LOL.
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Also, typical Kavetham interaction, caught once again in 4K. They are always so silly together, I love them !!!!
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ickybby Ā· 9 months ago
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open to: male muses, the toxic ones pls
plot/connections: based on these posts that are most definitely not for the faint of heart. your muse grants cherry what she's been wanting for a while, trophy wife status. a title that has cherry willing to do anything to keep her status as a coveted wife. the relationship has always been intense, maybe it's the age gap thing. maybe it's partly because she's inexperienced when it comes to relationships and hasn't really had much time to emotionally mature, while he's got a temper and a controlling nature that cherry still reads as being passionately loved.
character: cherry is a classic broken home baby. passionate about equality; she's got mommy and daddy issues. the ballet dancer left home as soon as she could in favor of a shitty apartment near the city's premier dance company. she doesn't really want to dance, she's just good at it. all cherry has ever really wanted is to be someone's wife and have her own nuclear family, but without the never-ending financial issues and coldness that plagued her own parent's marriage. hence her tendency to please her husband even at her own expense.
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cherry's apology hung in the air for less than a second before there was a deafening ringing in her ears as his hand landed a quick, sharp smack against her cherubic face. her vision burst into a blinding kaleidoscope of stars to accompany the stinging the sudden strike brought with its swift delivery. cherry felt the softness of a tissue pressing into her dainty hands before the bands of light fully cleared from her vision. it's been a couple of months since the lavish wedding they had, so she's yet to fully comprehend what he considers talking back. dabbing away at her nose, she ponders for a second what in particular triggered his anger. the realization dawning on her as the blood ceases to flow from her left nostril. "aahhhā€” ow, 'i'm sorry but' isn't an apology. noted. let me try again; i'm sorry for having lunch with him, i didn't think twice about it since he was just my pas de deux partner at the company. that's on me. can we chalk it up to a dumb blonde moment? i promise, no more lunches with men you don't approve of. just brunches... kidding, i'm kidding!" cherry's always had an inappropriate sense of humor that never really seems to be quite the right fit for whatever situation she's gotten herself in. once she regains her sense of balance, she seeks him out, having been left alone in the kitchen to collect herself. cherry finds him on the couch and wastes no time seating herself on the floor next to him. her face pressed against his leg as baby blue eyes blink up at him pleadingly. "can i suck you off? please?" the blonde's voice is shaky, barely above a whisper as she seeks out any ounce of validation that he's not as upset with her as he was when he first found out. "ā€” apology throat fucking? i promise i've been practicing."
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skyjynxart Ā· 1 year ago
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Random musings bc I should be asleep, wish I was asleep, and can't seem to find fic to read to give my brain enough dopamine TO sleep.
But increasingly, I wonder if there is a disconnect between me personally & fandom, or if my media comprehension is getting weird, or if FANDOMS media comprehension is getting worse or what because the gap between my interpretation of characters & others interpretation is widening to a point I often can't suspend my disbelief to read fic.
Not always & this varies by fandom- sometimes there's an easy explanation( eg I cannot divorce ST from its setting in the 80s and the cultural anachronism of character writing in many fics throws me & that's defo a personal thing )
But sometimes it's like... Did we watch the same thing? Play the same game? Like with some characters I get it. Nobody is going to interpret zenos the way I do bc very very few people are going to map their unique autistic experience onto him so viscerally ( god would that is had the will to WRITE my thoughts & hcs/felt like anyone would care to read bc that's a lot of effort for something I can enjoy just as well in my own head ).
But why is it that in fic Emet Selch is... Usually depicted as a fuggin rapist? Literally how does that fit? And it's not like- a FEW fics it's the majority Ive found?? Fanart doesn't seem to do this, so is there a vast difference in interpretation between artists & fic writers? Is it just Emet Selch hot & rape fantasy also hot(valid, but makes me wonder why there ISNT much other content then??)
Like these are genuine musings & as someone who is really into patterns & data points & I guess idk modern fandom anthropology??? I just wanna KNOW
And also find the like 2 other people in the world who come close to sharing my interpretations pls you have to be out there, right????
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clemencetaught Ā· 1 year ago
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COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS
that he just takes things lying down; that he doesn't have a spine. i know in all of his verses i put him through a lot of shit and it seems like he's just experiencing one tragic thing after another without retaliating. but the main reason he doesn't retaliate is because he knows how to pick his fights. when to pick them too and when he does so, it's usually because he knows a. he has a chance at winning, but also b. he has a valid reason to. as a rational person, he always tries to assess the situation before taking any decisive actions.
basically, if he's not reacting to something you did, it's because either a. he doesn't think it's something worth getting into an argument/fight about or b. he's biding for his time, it's just a matter of when he strikes. and heaven help the person who manages to piss him off- patrick doesn't makes threats, he makes promises.
AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON
felicity price, who is actually a request muse on my multimuse blog, is one of the most important connections in every verse of patrick's. she's one of the few people who really got patrick to not only open up, but also to loosen up- throw a joke or two in. when she was alive, they were a very playful and affectionate couple, who didn't shy away from pda ( although patrick did have some decorum :'D ). i would say part of the reason they had such a strong chemistry is also due to each of them...recognizing and empathizing with each other's loneliness.
so when she passed ( and suddenly too ), to patrick it wasn't just losing his significant other, it was also losing his best friend, someone who truly understood him and loved him as he was all in the blink of an eye. and without any sound reason.
A USELESS HEADCANON
Ā He's nerd in every sense of the word. once his interest in something is piqued, he has a tendency to jump down the rabbit hole and find out as much as he possibly can about the topic until something else comes his way. this is the reason research is perfect for patrick and the reason today he knows greek and roman mythology like the back of his hand.
POTENTIAL TRIGGERS
in verse two, he has really really bad pyrophobia, having literally been set on fire before. it's to the point that if he smells smoke, he will freak out and become aggressive.
violence and death are general triggers on this blog and there are triggers specific to each verse. they are listed in my rules page, but here's a comprehensive list for your convenience:
verse two: or*gan traf*ficking, torture, kidnapping, & ptsd
verse three: sex traf*ficking, sui*cide, and sa.
SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM
i really like how literary he can get- like there's something about his character that makes me want to go into metaphors and imagery with him. i think it's the lit major in me that resonates with him. i also think that because he's more on the subtle side, writing him really forces me to...i guess think more deeply about how he might get a point across in comparison to say, someone on the genuine side. he's a roundabout kinda person, both with his words and actions. ngl i feel like if he weren't already a good guy, he'd make a great villain fjskldjflskj
that and around the right people, he can be petty as shit, i love it when that comes out :DDDD
SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM
just because he's nice most of the time, doesn't mean he'll go along with whatever someone says. say something mean about his loved ones or pry into his personal boundaries and he'll give you choice words that will stab you. he'll slide them in so eloquently, so smoothly most times canonically the other person wouldn't realize they're being insulted until after a minute or two.
tagged:Ā stole it! thank you very much <3 // tagging: @velvetineblue @uroborosymphony ( ara!! ) @tvsteoftrvgedy )@jeoseungsaja ( for...hyuk?? :D ) @mythvoiced ( sarang pls <3 ) @bloodxhound @phantombs and you, steal it and tag me :DD
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advnterccs-archive Ā· 2 years ago
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šŸ”„
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Send me a ā€œ šŸ”„ ā€œ for an unpopular opinion. || accepting
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{ OOC } I think blogs who remake and delete the same blog over and over again is annoying. And I know there's a few mutuals who do / did that, which I'm not blaming them or accusing them or anything, so pls don't be mad at me (and you're perfectly valid, okie? this is just my opinion) ^^;
But, it's just kind of difficult to interact with someone if you never stick with the same blog for a few months. I would understand it more if you wanted to move that muse to a different type of blog and do a hard reset (as in completely re-doing the lore / canon / storylines / portrayal of your muse) but to take all of the same ideas and then just move blogs with new graphics and shit. Like... you couldn't just delete your posts and make new graphics ??
I don't really understand it but people will do what they want and if the character is interesting enough for me, I tend to be lenient. As I always am about things 'cause I like to say "Well, I tried" before completely disregarding someone.
By the way, I'm not talking about people who decide to remake blogs every something year or have to do it because tumblr decides to fuck up. I'm talking about the blogs who delete then remake with a new URL and they do it every single month only to abandon that blog to do the exact same thing.
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seesgood Ā· 2 years ago
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smol anon inquiry! your rule about not writing with "blogs that write a non-fictional character / a character that is based on a real life person"; i take that to mean you wouldn't write with any muse in a multimuse that also included historical fiction fandom muses (which is valid and pls take care of yourself), but what about people who run multiple blogs? if i write a muse based on a real historical person (such as from shows like black sails, ofmd, and such), would being mutuals with you on another blog of mine be boundary crossing? as in, i guess, is to about not wanting to interact with people who write these types of muses at all - or is it about not just being comfortable seeing that content? both are of course valid! i'm probably overthinking this, don't wanna cross boundaries, i hope you are doing good!
omg no iā€™m not that strict about it ā€” like if you have one muse on your multi of many muses that fits into that category then it makes no difference to me, i just prefer not to write with muses that are directly off of someone who lived and breathed and existed ( this was more of an issue like a few years ago when people would rp real actors and less with like ā€˜this vaguely historical dude who lived 300 years agoā€™ ) and itā€™s mostly just because for me it is uncomfortable to write with that muse bc it blurs the fiction / reality line a little too much for my comfort. but if you HAVE one of those muses ( on a multi or another blog ) i really donā€™t mind at all.
this will also make it further confusing but in the cases of black sails or our flag means death where the characters are based off of like legends of real people ( like if youā€™re gonna write a character based off of blackbeard or something ) thatā€™s fine with me, because the inherent appeal and ā€œrealnessā€ of that historical figure in itself is like folklore at this point. but iā€™ve seen people rp characters from hamilton or that sort of thing where the character IS the person and itā€™s a bit more recent, thatā€™s a little iffy for me but again, only because i canā€™t get out of the ā€œthis was a real person at one point and here i am with my lil blonde vampire muse whatā€
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yenafmd Ā· 3 years ago
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q2 plot call.
hey guys gays and theys, iā€™m here to write out some thoughts and ideas of what yena is up to during q2 and any potential plots that might come from that. as always, feel free to like this post, slide into my ims or hmu on d*sc*rd:Ā dilemma dilemma#5703 . iā€™ll see if in the next few days i will post either a open starter or a starter call (or maybe both) but for now, this is it, iā€™ll love to hear from you all!
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THE CALYPSO GIRLS!!! THEYā€™RE THRIVING!!!!
but also yena is absolutely busier than ever, dimensions throwing a bunch of very sudden schedules onto calypsoā€™s shoulders and in the meantime her solo schedules keep coming in as well (the latter i have yet to completely confirm through claims but imagine its a lot of acting/modelling work)Ā 
so sheā€™s very very busy and honestly her enthusiasm about being relevant only gets her so far? so i can imagine she has some moments where she just,,, crashes, tired, overwhelmed, running from one place to the other. she could definitely use some tips from people that are used to having busy careers on how to manage this
on a more angstier note she probably ends up blowing off plans at the last minute/showing up late/forgetting plans entirely. any muses are valid to call her out on it because damn no need to ghost ppl now ur finally relevant miss nam
dimensions artists will see her a lot around the hq, working on their new album and stuff, something yena will never shut up about, rollin doing so well on the charts is one thing but actually getting a new album while dimensions told them theyā€™d have none of that coming their way is Extra special to yenaĀ 
there is some more surveillance on yena from the company than their usually is so itā€™s a bit harder for her to get up to the nonsense she usually does. come catch her out on a very stressed smoke break or let yena use your muse as an excuse to stray from managementā€™s watching eye for a second, she needs it
there is also a bigger pressure on calypso than ever and honestly, it kind of freaks yena out as the quote unquoteĀ ā€˜least talentedā€™ member of calypso (by her own judgement), for someone thatā€™s so used to cutting corners sheā€™s very very anxious about her performance all of a sudden, someone try to help her manage these worries? or offer her some extra help with her vocals/dancing/rapping
for quantum members of course there is the song swap thing, yena will be very giddy teaching the rollin choreo, itā€™s something sheā€™s very proud and enthusiastic about but she will def be a bit of a tough teacher in the way that she will tolerate none of thatĀ ā€˜boygroup-ifyingā€™ of the choreo. they better be prepared to pour their whole quantussy into the performance.
also sheā€™s very excited to do chained up, i can imagine like, calypso in suits, pretty chokers, looking hot af (beth bestie pls just call me out if im Wrong) but yeah sheā€™s excited for that one, both to learn it and to show off her peak sexi vibes
i think this is most of my thoughts? ofc there is the standard stuff, rollinā€™ repromotions span the first 2 weeks of april still and chi mat baram will be in june so anyone who promotes around these times will see a lot of yena tooĀ 
but yeah thatā€™s basically what sheā€™s going through atm, pls do share any thoughts! iā€™d love to hear them!
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sins-of-the-sea Ā· 3 years ago
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NEGATIVE QUALITIES : zodiac edition
Tagged by: @thelittlestdemon for Guy!
Tagging: YOU, pls donā€™t make me call out name people QQ
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from this post! bold what definitely applies to your muse. italicize what somewhat applies to your muse. repost; do NOT reblog.
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ARIES: tries to do everything at once, doesnā€™t know when to stop and take care of themselves, bends over backwards for everyone even if someone did them dirty, has entirely too much on their plate
TAURUS: idealistic, spends a lot of time trying to impress others, doesnā€™t like to apologize, eating is a coping mechanism or just addictive personalities in general, a tad codependent
GEMINI: the most flip floppy people ever, whatā€™s todayā€™s mood?, never apologizes, in denial 90% of the time, their way is the highway, desperately needs a break, they have a hard time setting goals because their goals scare them
CANCER: the literal meaning of Iā€™ll give you the shirt off my back, isolates themselves in fear of someone hurting them, wants to change but is scared of change, complains a lot but never takes advice people give them
LEO: no one takes them seriously because they feel they always have to portray themselves as the fun one, is actually really sad inside, honestly needs a hug, exhausted always, a crackhead
VIRGO: can dish it but canā€™t take it, rushes everything, anxious, plans their future but forgets to live in the moment, sometimes ignores their friends because they have so much on their mind, talks about themselves a lot and sometimes forgets to ask the other person how they are
LIBRA: solves everyoneā€™s problems but their own, is actually really sad and lonely, gets easily heartbroken but tries not to show it, will do anything to justify bad decisions, honestly just wants everyone to love them but doesnā€™t really love Ā their self
SCORPIO: easily set off, will give anyone the cold shoulder at any time even without reason, keeps a lot in, so observant that they often times find out things that hurt them, too many ā€œwhat ifsā€ swirling in their heads, has trouble showing their true selves
SAGITTARIUS: impatient, brash, commitment issues, body issues, doesnā€™t realize they donā€™t need to change for anyone, has a lot of different goals to a point where they get overwhelmed, just wants to disappear and do what they want without anyone questioning them
CAPRICORN: scared people wonā€™t like them unless theyā€™re at the top of their game 24/7, takes a LOT for them to talk about their feelings, secretly struggling, fake happy, needs a plan but doesnā€™t know what that plan is, confident but insecure at the same time, wants to be stable but sometimes wishes they could drop everyoneā€™s expectations of them and live normally
AQUARIUS: gets heartbroken like 30 times a week, trust issues, can be unmotivated and disinterested, feels they have to adapt to every person they meet so they can be liked, doesnā€™t know how tap into their emotions despite being very intuitive, confused, expects little
PISCES: empathetic often to a point of no return, plays the victim, doesnā€™t know when to say no, cynical, hermit, is very impatient, trusts everyone too much, can be secretly very critical and judgmental, can only tolerate maybe ten minutes of social interaction, needs a lot of validation
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porta-decumana Ā· 3 years ago
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šŸ”Ŗ ā€¦someone my muse hurt in the past & šŸ‘‘ ā€¦someone my muse is jealous of for Cassius. And also a lil kiss for him. Pls.
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For the first prompt - Physically or emotionally or does it even matter lmaoooo
I'm sure Cassius has broken his fair share of hearts over the years. However, the knife emoji makes me think it's a physical hurt the prompt wants so let's go with physical. Now, fortunately(?), Cass is not the biggest fan of violence. He fights-- and kills-- only out of necessity which might be kind of ironic given his canonverse job shifts to Reaper. It's hard to name an exact NPC who he's done a violence to and the first one that comes to mind is Valens van Varro because Cassius absolutely throttled the man at least once during his time in the VIIth. He was court martialed for it, probably lucky to still be alive if I'm honest. But I think what kept him from getting executed was Valens enjoying watching Cassius slowly suffer under the realization that he was powerless to stop the Weapon Project. Valens strikes me as the type to torture for a long time before killing and well, Cassius was under his thumb and prime for tormenting.
As far as emotional hurt goes, I mean... I'd say it was more of Gaius emotionally hurting Cass than vice versa but Cass zinged Gaius a few times after they reunited. Stepping on the Black Wolf's feelings out of his own hurt, basically.
For the second prompt - Midas nan Garlond. This came up in a oneshot I wrote a while back. During the first round of his relationship with Gaius, Cassius was actually unaware that Gaius and Midas had been a thing. But he found out a bit after and he immediately panicked. Midas was, of course, more than a minor celebrity in Garlemald, having been a pioneer in all things magitek. He had been wealthy and a very respectable man... and Cassius felt he was an inadequate replacement. He had already been struggling to come to terms with Gaius picking him as a partner but knowing that he was effectively a rebound after Midas and Gaius had broken up made him question his worth more than a handful of times. He also questioned the validity of Gaius's feelings towards him-- was he just a temporary fling until Gaius was done mourning? Did Gaius actually have feelings for him?
Cassius never asked. He never wanted the answer. He was too scared of what it might have been. All he knew was that Midas was far better of a choice than he could have ever been. And the only reason Gaius was in his arms now was because Midas was dead. He felt... undeserving. And part of him still does.
He accepts your kiss gladly btw.
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ramrage Ā· 3 years ago
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fleabag au?
idk if such a thing already exists, but iā€™d love to see/make/?? a fleabag-inspired loki. yes, this would be a lighter take on his character but it could work. I personally think that funny people (generally) have to be smart if theyā€™re the quick kind of funny, which fleabag is, and hey, lokiā€™s smart, he could do that, too. loki is also very much in his head, twisting shit and letting it drive him crazy and so on, so it wouldnā€™t surprise me if he had a rich internal running commentary. a good bit of self-awareness, which i feel he has but sometimes talks himself out of. but most of all, MOST OF ALL, the unhealthy coping mechanisms, babey! For fleabag, it was using sex for validation, which honestly could translate to loki or could be worked around a bit to maintain validation as motivation but with other means to get there. in trying to figure out how this would work as fic, iā€™ve gotten caught on how to do the fourth wall breaks. the jumps and stuff like that. hmā€¦ i wrote some shit down at like, five in the morning, so it has that very rough and terrible 5 am quality but imagine something opening up like this:
-loki getting railed by someone who looks curiously like thor- he looks at you, wincing after a particularly naughty thrust. ā€œthis is a very funny joke, if you had all the details.ā€
guy says some shit like ā€œwhoā€™s your daddyā€ loki smirks. ā€œso was that.ā€
several scenes of loki fucking random blonde dudes, ensuring the reader that the punch line is coming
cuts to family dinner scene looking at thor and someone says shit about him being his brother ā€œand there it is.ā€
as far as where the plot goes -vague hand gestures- but COME ON, this could be so fun. if this idea tickles your fancy, feel free to adopt it as your own little baby. or lettuce muse on the possibilities! this idiocy is not copyrighted. tho pls swing the fic/creation my way if you do end up doing something with it.Ā 
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clowdydrecms Ā· 3 years ago
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anywho so i remade myĀ muse page iā€™m mostly just posting this bc i worked real hard on it and i wanted validation soo uhhh someone tell i did a good job pls.......Ā 
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fineillsignup Ā· 4 years ago
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I heard you wrote your own favorite book. What makes it your favorite? (Pls feel free to gush about the thing you love.)
Well itā€™s Crimmis night here on the best coast of Canada, and after a lot of holiday stress, as I gaze at our lovable, badly decorated tree (we realized too late that all three strings of Christmas tree lights were broken, at which point we could not find Christmas tree lights in the stores and it was too late for shipping, because we put our real tree up later so we can keep it up until January 6th... anyway long story short [too late] we put up a single string of outdoor lights on the tree. it looks very odd), it is time to give a Christmas gift to myself and answer this ask which has been aging in my inbox for a week or two like a delicious jar of homemade pickles.
I have six completed works on AO3 of 40k words or more, and actually two of those works are over 200k and should actually be split up into two books. Queenā€™s Choice(s) should be split into chapters 1-19 (the lovers navigate their way into a relationship, though with rumblings of unresolved issues and warnings of danger) and chapters 20-36 (they vanquish the danger while also resolving internal issues). Clouds and Rain should be split 1-19 (the hero and heroine get together and make possible the alliance) and 20-35 (the allied forces fight to unify and reform the Han dynasty).
I love all of these works, but I would say I am proudest of Clouds and Rain.
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Okay I want yā€™all to look at those dates of the publishing of the chapters. I published new chapters in 2016 very frequently and then in September of 2016....... I stopped.
I managed to trickle out a chapter in 2018 that was basically what I had already written before writerā€™s block slammed into me back in the fall of 2016.
And then. Then! Look what happened in 2019. THE MUSE CAME BACK!!!
I banged out chapters 27 to 36 in roughly six weeks.
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Rereading Clouds and Rain always makes me feel hopeful about all my other projects. Like yes! You can burn out. Thatā€™s okay! You will come back when you are ready to tell this story again. Over two years I had writerā€™s block about this work.
It is also a reminder that, for me, guilt, anxiety, and insecurity are the enemy of imaginative energy. I wrote a great deal of Clouds and Rain with no intention of ever letting anyone else read it but me. Then I wrote again at great speed when my mind was back in the space that the only reader who mattered was me.
I do love external validationā€”I mean look at me here on Tumblrā€”and I can power through some creative projects like translation (translation is creative and Iā€™ll fight anyone who says otherwise at a later date) or crafting even when motivation lags. But with writing, I just canā€™t. I canā€™t hear the characters or picture them if I am having anxiety about how fast I am coming up with the scenario.
I donā€™t think thereā€™s a single correct, effective way to be a writer that works for every human, and thatā€™s the problem with a lot of writing advice.Ā ā€œWrite thousands of words a day or fuck allā€ is who I amĀ on some fundamental level that no amount ofĀ ā€œJust write 500 words a day! Make it a habit! Just write whatever comes into your head!ā€ advice can fix.Ā And a lot of writing advice when I was younger made me feel like I was a bad writerā€”even a bad personā€”for not being able to pull myself by my bootstraps out of writerā€™s block.
So even if for no other reason, Clouds and Rain would be important to me as a symbol of an accomplishment, an accomplishment I did for me,Ā because this is the tiniest of fandoms when it comes to English speakers andĀ I made it an epic length delve into all my own personal likes and dislikes. It is supremely self-indulgent. It is almost totally impossible to turn this text into somethingĀ ā€œmarketableā€ because it is based on an enormous cast of characters with Chinese names that English speakers struggle to differentiate and lots and lots and LOTS of history and geography. It has 85 kudos, and when you subtract probable pity kudos, those are probably the only 75 people in the world who can enjoy this work that took me over three years to complete. It is basically useless!Ā ā€œFuck capitalism and the Protestant work ethic!ā€ is the message I want you to take away from what I did with my time here.Ā ā€œI like this! It makes me happy!ā€
At the same time, exactly becauseĀ itā€™s just me and those 75 other people among the billions who like this work, I couldnā€™t expect anyone else to make it or anything like it. I wanted to read a bizarre, shamelessly revisionist about womenā€™s role in society, pick and choose facts, pick and choose laws of nature, alternate ancient Chinese historical epic (that borrows tropes heavily from regency romance) with twenty-six POV characters. And that was only going to exist if I wrote it. So I did. And now I can reread it whenever I want! There is intrigue! Plot twists! People are in love! Someone calls Zhuge Liang a smug fan waving motherfucker and I force Liu Bei to chug respect women juice! Itā€™s everything I wanted, from me to me.
So that is why Clouds and Rain is my favourite book. What is my book?Ā Well, this is what it is: my book that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine.Ā That is my book, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too.
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elysicndrcvm Ā· 4 years ago
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ā”ā™” guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say theyā€™re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )
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Ā  Ā  Ā well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am allĀ ā€˜ i say thatā€™s my baby and iā€™m proud ā€™ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like heā€™s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but heā€™s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh thatā€™s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isnā€™t super full of angst or trauma heā€™s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so thatā€™s fun !! but ye without further ado:Ā 
so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, itā€™s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldnā€™t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that itā€™s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. itā€™s called patisserie dā€™elysian cause ya know heā€™s an extra biTCHH and proud.
he has three pupperinoā€™s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals.Ā 
heā€™s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, sheā€™s on his motherā€™s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didnā€™t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, heā€™s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age.Ā 
he dyes his hair quite often, itā€™s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but heā€™s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. itā€™s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue.Ā 
his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc heā€™s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes.Ā 
obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. heā€™s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. heā€™s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like heā€™ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj itā€™s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and heā€™s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf.Ā 
showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places.Ā 
very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls inĀ ā€˜loveā€™ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, heā€™s like yeARNS though ya know?? like heā€™s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. itā€™s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd.Ā 
awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world.Ā 
his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers.Ā 
studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesnā€™t KNOW OKAY? he doesnā€™t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a realĀ ā€˜qualificationā€™/job so that is the only reason heā€™s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when heā€™s already a baker with a business, heā€™s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. heā€™d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up.Ā 
despite being a quixotic, heā€™s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someoneā€™s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. thatā€™s his sHIT. but like heā€™s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like heā€™s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. heā€™s literally still a virgin, he hasnā€™t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf.Ā 
real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like heā€™s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunhaā€™s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf.Ā 
has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bellaā€™s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself.Ā 
he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade.Ā 
does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared heā€™ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after theyā€™re released and hates knowing that theyā€™re out.Ā 
cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away.Ā 
bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever heā€™s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when heā€™s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that.Ā 
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handaeil Ā· 4 years ago
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ā”ā™” guess the 22 YEAR OLD march baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because HAN DAEIL is just as moody as the month of MARCH. wait, why do they remind me of KIM GEONHAK? beyond that, they seemed RELIABLE AND OPTIMISTIC upon first glance. i heard someone say theyā€™re sort of OVERBEARING AND HYPOCRITICAL though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX #1 / APARTMENT #0320 / FLOOR #4 ; they seem to have a lot going on with their job as a BARISTA and CAFE MANAGER.
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hi allll iā€™m wren! i am 25 and i go by they/them pronouns. let me tell you bout my baby daeil! you can find all of daeilā€™s stats on this page, and iā€™ll be setting up a bio page soon as well.
first - daeil is genderfluid, and uses HE / HIM / THEY / THEM pronouns!! pls respect it.
daeil grew up in seoul with his parents and older brother, and is currently the manager/barista at his parentā€™s cafe!
he has an okay relationship with his parents, but for the most part they spent more time tending to their business than taking care of their kids. he and his brother worked in their cafe from a young age; from cleaning up after hours to learning how to work an espresso machine and bake pastries.
his brother didnā€™t enjoy the cafe much and wanted to be a kpop idol but uhh he didnā€™t really succeed,, heā€™s about 23 and in a group that honestly isnā€™t exactly mainstream. iā€™d say an example of his groupā€™s popularity would be A.C.E. fairly popular but not a household name.
so that has basically left daeil in charge of running things at the cafe, because his parents donā€™t really do much now that heā€™s old enough to take care of things by himself.
honestly aside from managing his parentā€™s cafe, heā€™s always been interested in song writing. he even allowed his brother to use his lyrics to get further in his company because he wants so badly to see his brother to succeed, but his lyricism is really the only thing helping the group because theyā€™re from a smaller company.
he loves to write lyrics and make up concepts for his songs and the only way i can describe it is like the paolo santo universe that years & years have done with their latest album? so his lyrics are very conceptual and dreamy. not that anyone really knows its his lyrics tho,,, RIP
also heā€™s a very parental kind of person where . he kind of just takes care of everyone around him? like he kinda took care of his brother even though daeilā€™s younger because he would be down in his spirits a lot and daeil would have to console him. so heā€™s taken to being like that with everyone, taking care of them and doing whatever they need him to
heā€™s naturally touchy and always wants to hold someoneā€™s hand. he just likes affection, especially because he didnā€™t have may friends in school from spending all of his free time helping at his parentā€™s cafe so he really craves friendship and validation and heā€™s definitely the type to like.. if your muse is getting married to him heā€™s still gonna ask if they still like him on their wedding day.
so yeah thatā€™s my baby and im proud.
HEADCANONS BELOW and some little tidbits about him!!!
his hogwarts house is gryffindor!! also heā€™s absolutely a big harry potter fan...heā€™s a nerd
his aesthetic is just. Soft. and heā€™s often seen wearing sweaters, tshirts and jean jackets, hoodies, outfits that are comfortable but fashionable. his favorite colors are burgundy and beige and black so he probably wears a lot of those colors? his style is very much this: one, two, three, four, five. so like Aesthetic but make it comfy.
heā€™s absolutely a morning person. heā€™s been waking up early for the cafe pretty much his entire life, so he passes out around 9 or something to be up around 4am. heā€™s the first person to leave a party LMAO but he never says no to going to one...eyes emoji
his bday is march 30th, 1998 so right now heā€™s 22 and turning 23 next month! he is aĀ pisces sun, sagittarius moon, and virgo rising.
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[ ooc: watched tf&tws ep3, so opinions under the cut as usual ]
alright so I liveblogged it this time instead whoops
that ad from the GRC -_-
ā€œDo you know who I am?ā€ right because thatā€™s definitely how you get people to cooperate with you lmao
Lemar Hoskins out here talking rationally about things? hmmm
ā€œfrolicking in the sun togetherā€ XDDDD Sam really
oof the look on Buckyā€™s face during the conversation with Zemo. gdi SebStan stop doing tragic so well.
ā€œit was never personalā€ GETTINā€™ REAL TIRED OF HEARING THAT SHIT
aw straight back into Sam calling himĀ ā€œBuckā€ despite them being likeĀ ā€œyeah we do this and never talk to each other againā€ BULLSHIT BOYS Yā€™ALL GONNA BE BOSOM BUDDIES
ā€œNo offense.ā€Ā ā€œOffense.ā€ XD
ahh the very logical walkthrough of the breakout. zemo has broken out of so many places.
ā€œIf I may...ā€Ā ā€œNOā€Ā ā€œApologies.ā€ I cackled.
those are some fancy ass cars... and a fancy ass plane... guess that works for a baron
are they really sitting around talking about Marvin Gaye
Zemo is right about putting people on a pedestal. Hell, people do that to the characters too and refuse to see their flaws and itā€™s irritating as hell. Much love to my mutuals who embrace their musesā€™ problematic tendencies, the things they fuck up on, the way that good things taken to extremes are not always good, etc. Yā€™all are the MVPs.
ā€œWeā€™re going to Madripoor.ā€ -cue comic flashbacks and shivers-
oh hello 2 seconds to make Karli a more sympathetic figure cool
Madripoor and immediately yellow lights -_-
but also pimp dressing criminal!Sam is a reference to Snap, right? that was wildly problematic in the comics but itā€™s canonically a part of Samā€™s backstory...
Iā€™m digging the neons. reminds me of the seedy bars in Mass Effect lol
WOLVIEā€™S BAR I SEE YOU. GOOD DAMN EASTER EGG MARVEL (now gimme a Logan to write with pls rpc I beg you)
the fucking thumbs up. what kind of criminal gives the bartender a thumbs up lmao, good job Sam
hot damn Winter Soldier mode. I know Buckyā€™s gonna probably feel horrible about it but HOT DAMN.
Edith Piaf, itā€™s always Edith Piaf
Shelby, HARD SAME @ SAM. rawr indeed.
Looked up Dr. Wilfred Nagel because the name wasnā€™t familiar and...
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I see
lmao bounty on their heads, nobody could have predicted THAT
ā€œI CANā€™T RUN IN THESE HEELS.ā€ WEAK, Sam, weak. Iā€™ve run in 4 inch heels before, youā€™ll be fine.
SHAAAAARRROOOONNNNNN <3 Sheā€™s been through so much ;_;Ā 
random hindi sign that translates toĀ ā€œbody cultureā€?? what
ā€œMuch betterā€ LOL yup
Sharon is BITTER and yā€™know what thatā€™s valid.
Sam means well but acting like Sharon helping is a condition to her trying to clear her name??? D:
okay the doctor dos NOT look like the one in the comics lol
Sharon taking on all the bounty hunters!!! Holy shit sheā€™s lethal and impressive wow.
Donya Madani... any relation to Dinah? (I havenā€™t watched The Punisher donā€™t look at me I know nothing)
Obligatory explosions. Good way to destroy the lab so thereā€™s no way to trace back anything thatā€™s there to any other place... also if they got blown up and were unrecognizable, would someone still be able to collect a bounty? Itā€™s late and Iā€™m thinking about this dumb shit.
so much shooting and dumb bickering
ā€œItā€™s in every action movie!ā€
thereā€™s the Zemo hood
can you even move up seats in those kinds of cars?? who knows
oooh whoā€™s the new lady?
Desmond Chiam can get it. wow I really must be tired, I donā€™t even normally find people attractive
Sam caring about people gives me life. I think in watching this show, people forget that he was a VA counselor and that heā€™s spent so much of his time helping people heal. Just because heā€™s good at fighting doesnā€™t mean that itā€™s the heart of who he is.
and now we start the turning-audiences-against-Karli thing okay
oh no Sokovia ;_;
KIMOYO BEADS
oh hey itā€™s Ayo~ that refers back to the whole Wakanda didnā€™t forget thing yes of course
Closing thoughts:
Sam better get Sharon that fucking pardon and they better help her get back in touch with her family and everything. Sheā€™s been through so much shit. And I hope that she then gets to join them on their ass-kicking of her own free will instead of as a trade for something.
Zemo is so much more convincing of a villain in MCU than he was in the comics. Heā€™s actually canny, impressive in both physical fighting and psychological warfare.
I felt like this episode was both well balanced but also more obvious in its motives and purpose and whatnot. Nothing felt unexpected or punched hard in terms of social commentary like the previous eps, which is... I dunno, maybe a little unfortunate? But it was good development overall, I guess.
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