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jonsnowunemploymentera · 2 months ago

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I rarely speculate on Patchface’s seemingly prophetic jingles because, unless they refer to past events, it’s always a challenging exercise to parse out what they might mean. However, a few things stuck out to me as I was revisiting the ACoK prologue, especially when considering how this chapter works as a narrative mirror to Dany X, the AGoT prologue, and other chapters that come later in the series.

ACoK’s prologue takes place in Dragonstone, where Maester Cressen looks at the red comet in the sky and considers it an omen—"prophesies in the sky", as he calls it. This in itself isn’t particularly remarkable, as most characters who see the comet interpret it as a sign of something supernatural. Then, Shireen and her bizarre fool, Patchface, enter.

Shireen wants to see the raven that recently arrived from the Citadel—a white raven that marks the end of the longest summer in recorded memory. This, Cressen acknowledges, is certainly noteworthy.

And yet . . . and yet . . . the comet burned even by day now, while pale grey steam rose from the hot vents of Dragonmont behind the castle, and yestermorn a white raven had brought word from the Citadel itself, word long-expected but no less fearful for all that, word of summer’s end. Omens, all. Too many to deny. What does it all mean? he wanted to cry.

And Cressen is right; all of these are omens connected to prophecy. According to prophecy, the end of a long summer precedes the rise of a hero destined to wake dragons from stone and fight the darkness.

“In ancient books of Asshai it is written that there will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him.” Davos I, ACoK

It is written in prophecy as well. When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. The bleeding star has come and gone, and Dragonstone is the place of smoke and salt. Davos III, ASoS

“He is not dead. Stannis is the Lord’s chosen, destined to lead the fight against the dark. I have seen it in the flames, read of it in ancient prophecy. When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. Dragon-stone is the place of smoke and salt.” Jon X, ADWD

The omens that unsettle old Master Cressen foretell the birth of a hero of fire. Daenerys Targaryen, in the chapter that directly precedes this prologue (Dany X, AGoT), became that hero when she emerged from Drogo's pyre as "the Unburnt" and "the Mother of Dragons".

It is important to note that Dany X is a direct narrative parallel to the AGoT prologue, where creature of ice were seen again. The return of ice demanded the birth of fire, as all things must remain in balance. And Maester Cressen makes note of this as well,

The smallfolk said that a long summer meant an even longer winter […]

As a mirror to the AGoT prologue and Dany X, the ACoK prologue is full of references to Azor Ahai and the Long Night—too many to ignore. What’s particularly interesting is how this prologue circles back to a motif first introduced in Dany X: the birth of dragons. This comes to the forefront when Patchface utters his first prophecy in the series, which leads to an intriguing conversation between Cressen and Shireen about dragons coming to life; this conversation is occasionally interrupted by more cryptic jingles from the fool.

The fool turned his patched and piebald head to watch Pylos climb the steep iron steps to the rookery. His bells rang with the motion. “Under the sea, the birds have scales for feathers,” he said, clang-a-langing. “I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

Before I proceed, I want to address my thoughts on the phrase "under the sea". I subscribe to the theory that Patchface's prophetic ability was awakened because he drowned and was brought back to life. After his "death" at sea, he became an emissary of the Drowned God.

The boy washed up on the third day. Maester Cressen had come down with the rest, to help put names to the dead. When they found the fool he was naked, his skin white and wrinkled and powdered with wet sand. Cressen had thought him another corpse, but when Jommy grabbed his ankles to drag him off to the burial wagon, the boy coughed water and sat up. To his dying day, Jommy had sworn that Patchface’s flesh was clammy cold. No one ever explained those two days the fool had been lost in the sea. The fisherfolk liked to say a mermaid had taught him to breathe water in return for his seed.

Thus, “under the sea” could refer to the process of dying and being reborn; note that this phrase often appears narratively as an accompaniment to talk of death. More generally, "under the sea" could represent a state in which suspended life is reanimated. Keeping this in mind, the image of birds having scales for feathers “under the sea” refers to dragons, which exist as suspended life forms encased in stone until they are brought to life

The conversation between Cressen and Shireen that directly follows Patchface’s first jingle continues the theme of stone dragons coming to life.

“Sit with me, child.” Cressen beckoned her closer. “This is early to come calling, scarce past dawn. You should be snug in your bed.” “I had bad dreams,” Shireen told him. “About the dragons. They were coming to eat me.”

Though Cressen tries to assuage her fears by telling her that dragons carved from stone cannot be brought to life, Shireen aptly remarks on the significance of the comet in the sky.

“What about the thing in the sky? Dalla and Matrice were talking by the well, and Dalla said she heard the red woman tell Mother that it was dragonsbreath. If the dragons are breathing, doesn’t that mean they are coming to life?”

Dany X proved that stone dragons have indeed been born. But Daenerys is the least of Shireen's worries. While her dragon-related nightmares are tied to Azor Ahai and the prophecy of his coming, it is her own father she must truly fear.

What’s truly puzzling, however, is Patchface’s next jingle, uttered as Cressen and Shireen turn their discussion toward the end of the long summer.

Patchface rang his bells. “It is always summer under the sea,” he intoned. “The merwives wear nennymoans in their hair and weave gowns of silver seaweed. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

In a word, this is nonsense. "Nennymoans" don’t exist and are never mentioned again after this chapter. The term doesn’t refer to anything in the real world either. So, what exactly is Patchface talking about? I’ll have to take some liberties here to try and tease out the meaning behind this.

"Nennymoans," as a few fans have suggested, could refer to anemones. An anemone could be one of two things: a multicolored flower in the buttercup family that blooms in spring or fall, or a multicolored sea creature that resembles these flowers and grows in the depths of the ocean. Given that this chapter centers on the Long Night and dragons, this jingle likely plays into those themes.

Anemones, in whatever form, are tied to the cycle of life and death:

Greek legends say that Anemos, the Wind, sends his namesakes the Anemones in the earliest spring days as the heralds of his coming. […] Greek myth gives the anemone two meanings, the arrival of spring breezes and the loss of a loved one to death […] (Flower Meanings: Anemone)

This cycle of life and death is central to the Ironborn belief: “What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger”. With spring winds—or flowers—in their hair, the mermaids become agents of this process.

This cycle of life and death is also closely related to the waking of dragons:

She heard a crack, the sound of shattering stone. The platform of wood and brush and grass began to shift and collapse in upon itself. Bits of burning wood slid down at her, and Dany was showered with ash and cinders. And something else came crashing down, bouncing and rolling, to land at her feet; a chunk of curved rock, pale and veined with gold, broken and smoking. The roaring filled the world, yet dimly through the firefall Dany heard women shriek and children cry out in wonder. Only death can pay for life. Dany X, AGoT

Dragons are also tied to the Lands of the Long Summer, which mirror the Lands of Always Winter—a place of death. Ice versus fire, death versus life, dragons or Others. This is the essence of the Long Night.

Other clues in the text help us understand the mermaids’ silver gowns:

On the crown of the hill four-and-forty monstrous stone ribs rose from the earth like the trunks of great pale trees. The sight made Aeron’s heart beat faster. Nagga had been the first sea dragon, the mightiest ever to rise from the waves. She fed on krakens and leviathans and drowned whole islands in her wrath, yet the Grey King had slain her and the Drowned God had changed her bones to stone so that men might never cease to wonder at the courage of the first of kings. Nagga’s ribs became the beams and pillars of his longhall, just as her jaws became his throne. For a thousand years and seven he reigned here, Aeron recalled. Here he took his mermaid wife and planned his wars against the Storm God. From here he ruled both stone and salt, wearing robes of woven seaweed and a tall pale crown made from Nagga’s teeth. The Drowned Man, AFFC

The only other time seaweed is woven into cloth is in Aeron’s thoughts, as he reflects on the Grey King, the legendary figure who slew the fire-breathing sea dragon Nagga. The Grey King wore gowns of seaweed and decorated his hall in a similar fashion. This was where his warriors feasted:

But that was in the dawn of days, when mighty men still dwelt on earth and sea. The hall had been warmed by Nagga’s living fire, which the Grey King had made his thrall. On its walls hung tapestries woven from silver seaweed most pleasing to the eyes. The Grey King’s warriors had feasted on the bounty of the sea at a table in the shape of a great starfish, whilst seated upon thrones carved from mother-of-pearl. Gone, all the glory gone. Men were smaller now. Their lives had grown short. The Storm God drowned Nagga’s fire after the Grey King’s death, the chairs and tapestries had been stolen, the roof and walls had rotted away. Even the Grey King’s great throne of fangs had been swallowed by the sea. Only Nagga’s bones endured to remind the ironborn of all the wonder that had been. The Drowned Man, AFFC

Aeron believes that those who serve the Drowned God will be taken to feast in his halls when they die (The Prophet, AFFC; The Foresaken, TWoW). This evokes imagery of Valhalla and its inhabitants, the Einherjar—dead warriors who are destined to be reborn to fight in the final battle during Ragnarok. The Valkyries, who take the dead to Valhalla, parallel the mermaids mentioned in Patchface’s jingle. Both partake in the cycle of life and death, acting as agents of an apocalypse.

If we associate “under the sea” with the cycle of death and rebirth, then gowns of silver seaweed might symbolize either armor or the more spectral funerary garments worn by the dead (or ghosts). The latter seems more likely, given Shireen’s next line:

Shireen giggled. “I should like a gown of silver seaweed.”

This is a child’s innocent wish—but tragically, it will come true. Shireen will receive her silver gown, her funerary garment, soon. The next line seals her fate and is what inspired this post in the first place:

“Under the sea, it snows up,” said the fool, “and the rain is dry as bone. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

It puzzled me for quite some time what Patchface was referring to here. But given that this chapter focuses on the Long Night and dragons, this jingle is clearly referencing the latter—especially considering it directly follows Shireen’s unwitting prophecy of her impending death for the sake of a dragon.

On the surface, this third jingle doesn’t seem connected to the birth of dragons at all. However, remember that Azor Ahai will be born after a long summer, amidst “smoke and salt". And remember, this prologue is set on Dragonstone, which sits on the Dragonmount—a volcano where dragons once lay, where ash and smoke billow up (this detail will be important later). The jingle seems to describe the conditions that breed dragons! “Snow falls up… rain [is] dry as bone” clearly refers to “smoke and salt".

Up until this point, you’d likely think this jingle refers to Dany and her dragons—and you’d be right, but only partially. From this point forward, we see that Patchface’s jingles align closely with another character who is being positioned as Azor Ahai—Jon Snow.

Let’s revisit the second jingle about mermaids with “nennymoans” in their hair. It’s noteworthy that although Patchface often uses the sea as the backdrop for his prophecies, mermaids only appear twice in the entire series. The first instance is in this prologue, where they seem to evoke imagery of life after death. The second instance occurs just before a pivotal moment—before a Targaryen prince, a dragon, is put to sleep.

Patchface jumped up. “I will lead it!” His bells rang merrily. “We will march into the sea and out again. Under the waves we will ride seahorses, and mermaids will blow seashells to announce our coming, oh, oh, oh.” Jon XIII, ADWD

For context, this prophecy follows Jon’s announcement of his intent to lead the ranging beyond the Wall—a ranging that would surely lead him and his men to death’s door. Patchface’s assertion that “[they] will march into the sea and out again” could symbolize the process of wight-ification—a perverse form of new life springing forth after death.

The mention of seahorses is also intriguing. It could refer to serpentine sea creatures, which ties into the broader theme of dragons and their role in the cycle of life and death. Dragons serve as vehicles for new life after a period of death, a theme that is mirrored in Daenerys’s campaign in Slaver’s Bay. However, I’m also inclined to think of Kelpies—grey or white sea-horses that lure men and women to their death under the sea. The imagery of grey or white sea-horses calls to mind part of Patchface’s second jingle, where mermaids wove gowns of silver seaweed.

While I won’t speculate too much on the point about riding seahorses, it’s worth noting how Patchface’s third jingle relates to Jon Snow. This particular jingle, which references snow falling up, has two narrative parallels—and they complicate things quite a bit. The first parallel comes later in this prologue, just before Cressen meets his end:

Patchface sprawled half on top of him, motley fool’s face pressed close to his own. He had lost his tin helm with its antlers and bells. “Under the sea, you fall up,” he declared. “I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.” Giggling, the fool rolled off, bounded to his feet, and did a little dance.

The dichotomy here is fascinating. If the first mention of snow relates to the “smoke and salt” that provide the necessary elements for the birth of dragons, what does it mean when the focus shifts to Cressen himself? “You fall up” evokes the image of a person being lifted from the ground��resurrected. Where the first instance of snow falling up might reference the birth of dragons, this second instance could refer to the rise of their natural enemies, the wights.

That this second instance of “falling up” refers to the creation of wights—perversions of life after death—is further reinforced by the unsettling tune Patchface sings in the preceding paragraph.

Over the clatter of knife and plate and the low mutter of table talk, he heard Patchface singing, “… dance, my lord, dance my lord,” to the accompaniment of jangling cowbells. The same dreadful song he’d sung this morning. “The shadows come to stay, my lord, stay my lord, stay my lord.”

But this isn’t the first time Patchface sings this. When Shireen finally sees the white raven, Patchface unleashes his prophecy:

“Clever bird, clever man, clever clever fool,” said Patchface, jangling. “Oh, clever clever clever fool.” He began to sing. “The shadows come to dance, my lord, dance my lord, dance my lord,” he sang, hopping from one foot to the other and back again. “The shadows come to stay, my lord, stay my lord, stay my lord.” He jerked his head with each word, the bells in his antlers sending up a clangor.

I think it’s clear that the shadows Patchface refers to are the Others, who are often described as “white shadows” throughout the text. Remember, this chapter mirrors the AGoT prologue, which featured Waymar Royce’s confrontation with an Other—“dance with me, then", Waymar challenged. That was just before he died at the hands of the Other and rose as a wight. Shireen also states that Patchface began signing this tune only recently—perhaps once the comet became visible in the sky.

Jon Snow, a narrative parallel to Waymar, begins his twelfth chapter of ADWD fighting the dead atop the Wall. Though his dream and its immediate aftermath suggest he will be victorious, the specter of death follows him until the next chapter, when he is assassinated by his own brothers. This sense of death lingers as he meets with Queen Selyse, Shireen, and Patchface in Jon XIII.

They found Her Grace sewing by the fire, whilst her fool danced about to music only he could hear, the cowbells on his antlers clanging. “The crow, the crow,” Patchface cried when he saw Jon. “Under the sea the crows are white as snow, I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.” Princess Shireen was curled up in a window seat, her hood drawn up to hide the worst of the greyscale that had disfigured her face. Jon XIII, ADWD

Other than the ACoK prologue, this is the only time snow is mentioned in Patchface’s prophecies. And this second instance is even more puzzling than the first. What does it mean for Jon, the crow, to be “white as snow”? If the first instance says “snow falls up", does that mean Jon, who is the snow, will rise?

The entirety of ADWD is centered around Jon’s impending death.

You are wrong. I have dreamed of your Wall, Jon Snow. Great was the lore that raised it, and great the spells locked beneath its ice. We walk beneath one of the hinges of the world.” Melisandre gazed up at it, her breath a warm moist cloud in the air. “This is my place as it is yours, and soon enough you may have grave need of me. Do not refuse my friendship, Jon. I have seen you in the storm, hard-pressed, with enemies on every side. You have so many enemies. Shall I tell you their names?” “I know their names.” “Do not be so certain.” The ruby at Melisandre’s throat gleamed red. “It is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. You would do well to keep your wolf close beside you. Ice, I see, and daggers in the dark. Blood frozen red and hard, and naked steel. It was very cold.” Jon I, ADWD

But, a key point is that Jon will return, for Melisandre has seen it in her flames.

Death, thought Melisandre. The skulls are death. The flames crackled softly, and in their crackling she heard the whispered name Jon Snow. His long face floated before her, limned in tongues of red and orange, appearing and disappearing again, a shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain. Now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again. Mel I, ADWD

But what’s interesting is that the language surrounding Jon’s death and rebirth mirrors the birth of dragons—“smoke and salt”, “snow fall[ing] up”, and “rain dry as bone” mirror the “ashes and cinders” in Mel’s visions of the boy.

And keep him away from the red woman. She knows who he is. She sees things in her fires.” Arya, he thought, hoping it was so. “Ashes and cinders.” “Kings and dragons.” Dragons again. For a moment Jon could almost see them too, coiling in the night, their dark wings outlined against a sea of flame. Jon VIII, ADWD

Mel is the first and only person in the series to recite the prophecy of Azor Ahai being born amidst salt and smoke to wake dragons. In fact, she always precedes it with “I have seen it in the flames”. Though Daenerys fulfilled those requirements in her last AGoT chapter, it’s still noteworthy that the narrative continues to present this prophecy as something that is yet to reach full completion. From a Doylist perspective, you don’t repeat a motif if it is no longer relevant to the ongoing narrative, especially when it is presented in a particular context; in this case, as it’s continuously presented in Jon’s Dance arc.

Mel is the primary person in the current timeline who links the waking of dragons to Azor Ahai, and every time she looks for this hero, she sees Jon!

Yet now she could not even seem to find her king. I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R’hllor shows me only Snow. Mel I, ADWD

It’s striking that the last time the idea of dragons waking as part of Azor Ahai’s rise comes up in Jon X, just three chapters before his death.

Melisandre’s face darkened. “That creature is dangerous. Many a time I have glimpsed him in my flames. Sometimes there are skulls about him, and his lips are red with blood.” A wonder you haven’t had the poor man burned. All it would take was a word in the queen’s ear, and Patchface would feed her fires. “You see fools in your fire, but no hint of Stannis?” “When I search for him all I see is snow.” The same useless answer. […] “Would you know if the king was dead?” Jon asked the red priestess. “He is not dead. Stannis is the Lord’s chosen, destined to lead the fight against the dark. I have seen it in the flames, read of it in ancient prophecy. When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. Dragonstone is the place of smoke and salt.” Jon had heard all this before. “Stannis Baratheon was the Lord of Dragonstone, but he was not born there. He was born at Storm’s End, like his brothers.” He frowned. “And what of Mance? Is he lost as well? What do your fires show?” “The same, I fear. Only snow.” Snow. […] “You are seeing cinders dancing in the updraft.” “I am seeing skulls. And you. I see your face every time I look into the flames. The danger that I warned you of grows very close now.” “Daggers in the dark […]” Jon X, ADWD

This passage not only foreshadows Jon’s impending death, but once again, we see “cinders dancing in the updraft”—a phrase that echoes “snow falls up, and the rain is dry as bone". Both the ACoK prologue and this chapter discuss the waking of dragons, and in both, “snow” is linked to the conditions necessary for such an event. This raises interesting questions about Melisandre’s visions of “smoke and salt”—what exactly did she see?

Regardless, Jon is quite firmly wrapped up in the mysteries surrounding Azor Ahai and the waking of dragons. Not just in this chapter, but a common motif that comes up in his Dance arc is the aspect of sacrifice to wake dragons.

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames. Jon I, ADWD

Much of this revolves around the sacrifice of a living child. Jon sends Mance’s son away with Gilly, believing he’s bypassed such a tragedy. But GRRM has confirmed that Stannis will sacrifice his own daughter, reinforcing the theme of royal blood as a powerful magical catalyst. The prophecies set in stone in the ACoK prologue through Patchface and Shireen are thus mirrored in Jon’s Dance arc.

What’s particularly interesting is how the idea of burning dead children to wake dragons is paralleled by Dany X, when Rhaego was placed in Drogo’s pyre, bringing dragons into the world and “rebirthing” Daenerys as Azor Ahai. Dany had her dragon eggs waiting to be brought to life, but at the Wall, there are no such eggs. So where will the dragon come from? Jon himself questions this:

“That I would speak to Stannis, though I doubt my words will sway him. A king’s first duty is to defend the realm, and Mance attacked it. His Grace is not like to forget that. My father used to say that Stannis Baratheon was a just man. No one has ever said he was forgiving.” Jon paused, frowning. “I would sooner take off Mance’s head myself. He was a man of the Night’s Watch, once. By rights, his life belongs to us.” “Pyp says that Lady Melisandre means to give him to the flames, to work some sorcery.” “Pyp should learn to hold his tongue. I have heard the same from others. King’s blood, to wake a dragon. Where Melisandre thinks to find a sleeping dragon, no one is quite sure. It’s nonsense. Mance’s blood is no more royal than mine own. He has never worn a crown nor sat a throne. He’s a brigand, nothing more. There’s no power in brigand’s blood.” Sam I, AFFC

As of Jon XIII, ADWD, there are no dragon eggs at the Wall. But what we do have is a Targaryen prince—Jon Snow—bleeding out in the snow, growing hard with cold as all memory of warmth flees from him (Bran III, AGoT). Jon himself is the dragon waiting to be woken, a “sleeping dragon” not of stone, but of blood and prophecy. Exactly how he will be woken remains a mystery, but we see a fascinating thread running from ACoK through ADWD regarding Jon’s role in the series’ central conflict.

In the ACoK prologue, Patchface sang of mermaids with spring in their hair, weaving funerary gowns. In ADWD, he sings of these same mermaids blowing seashells to announce the coming of those who have descended into the sea’s depths and emerged alive once more. How intriguing that both of these jingles are framed by discussions of dragons.

“A grey girl on a dying horse. Daggers in the dark. A promised prince, born in smoke and salt. It seems to me that you make nothing but mistakes, my lady. Where is Stannis? What of Rattleshirt and his spearwives? Where is my sister?” “All your questions shall be answered. Look to the skies, Lord Snow. And when you have your answers, send to me. Winter is almost upon us now. I am your only hope.” Jon XIII, ADWD

The first two prophecies have already come to pass. The third, however, still looms over the narrative. Yet, it too will soon reach completion. A crow has now become white as snow—dead. But as in Patchface’s prophecy, he will emerge from under the sea—a dragon reborn, the promised prince who will save his realm.

#this was really only gonna be a one pager that was like: isn't it interesting how patchface's acok prophecies mirror jon in dance?#and then it just spiraled out of control 🫠#anyway its finally out of my hands rfnruifne;ndxwioux #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #patchface #maester cressen #shireen baratheon #the long night #dragons #azor ahai #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #melisandre of asshai

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grassbreads · 2 years ago

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What Tai Sui is and Why Everyone Should Read It

So if you follow me, over the past couple weeks, you've probably noticed me obsessively screenshotting and posting about a book called Tai Sui. And now that I've finished it, I'd like to try and convince y'all to give it a chance.

What Is Tai Sui?

Tai Sui is a chinese web novel—a relatively unpopular work by the very popular author Priest (author of Guardian and Sha Po Lang, among others). Unlike a lot of the most popular web novels on tumblr, it's not a danmei. It's in fact rather important to the plot and themes that there is almost entirely no romance, but I promise you, it is absolutely worth it regardless.

What is Tai Sui About?

Tai Sui is a steampunk xianxia cultivation story. For those unfamiliar with xianxia and cultivation, this is a particular genre of Chinese historical fantasy.

The official summary of Tai Sui reads as follows:

“If I had a choice, I would only want to be a little insect in the mundane dust, born in confusion, dying in mediocrity, never seeing the light of day beneath the fog of Jinping City.

Better than taking this wrong road to heaven.”

You may have noticed that this summary is not in fact really a summary. It gives you a glimpse into the story's themes, mood, and destination, but it doesn't exactly tell you what happens in it.

That's because Tai Sui is one of those works that's incredibly hard to summarize. The story is incredibly wide in scope and changes massively over its course, to the point that any summary that encapsulates the whole thing is going to feel like a spoiler. However, I can try my best to add a little detail without giving too much away.

Tai Sui is the story of Xi Ping—an obnoxious, trouble-making rich boy with no interest in cultivation—who gets unwittingly involved in a plot to resurrect the "evil god" Tai Sui. This plot pulls him into the cultivation world against his will and, over time, threatens to rewrite everything he is.

Tai Sui is the end of immortality.

Why Should You Read Tai Sui?

Tai Sui is one of the most compelling stories I have ever read. It is a love letter to the power and promise of the whole world and its many mundane people. It also has some of the best worldbuilding I have ever seen.

Tai Sui is written in omniscient perspective, and though Xi Ping is very much the main character, as the story progresses, we spend more and more time alongside characters that aren't him. By the time the novel ends, his entire continent is at stake, and we the audience know that continent and its troubles inside and out from countless angles. Everyone from the immortal demigods of the cultivation world to the most wretched, miserable paupers is given a grand sense of emphasis.

Tai Sui is a deconstruction of the cultivation genre. It establishes a magic/cultivation system and its history, lets the main character live in that system for a while, and then dives deep into that system's depths. It looks at the cultivation genre, at the idea of people who leave behind their status as mortals for greater things, and asks "How does this really work?" and "Is this how the world should be?"

Tai Sui is the story of countless people who were never supposed to be powerful coming together to make the world a better place. It's well written (and very well translated), exciting, heartbreaking, and incredibly beautiful. It's also funny as hell.

I cannot recommend this story enough.

Warnings/Caveats

As I said before, Tai Sui is a deconstruction of the cultivation genre. If you're unfamiliar with this genre, while the book is certainly readable, you are going to be thrown head first into the deep end with the tropes and terminology at play. It's absolutely worth the learning curve, but it will be kind of a lot. Maybe do some light googling about what a cultivator is before you pick it up. (Or just ask a fan. I think most of us would happily explain anything that would win a new reader).

There are portrayals of people/cultures in Tai Sui that are heavily inspired by minority cultures in real-world China, and some of these portrayals play into pretty harmful stereotypes. It's not SPL "Barbarian" or TGCF Banyue levels of racist, but it's something to be aware of and careful about. I'd really recommend reading from the perspectives of those from the cultures in question (including but not limited to the post I linked) for more about the issues I'm talking about.

Tai Sui's English translation is 930,000 words long. I believe this is a strength, since its length is what allows it such an incredible scope. It is also a fucking daunting commitment, and I acknowledge that.

Finally, while Tai Sui doesn't need too many trigger warnings, it does contain some pretty viscerally upsetting depictions of inequality and mistreatment, as well as a few instances of violence toward children. You can't uplift without first seeing what the people need uplifting from, and hooboy. They need it.

There's also some scenes that are technically rather violent, but the goriness is not presented as gore, if that makes sense. It never feels intensely or overly violent in the way some fantasy novels do.

Links

If all my gushing and propagandizing has convinced you to give it a try, you can find the original Chinese version (where you can buy chapters to support the author) on JJWXC.

The complete English translation is free on the website of E. Danglars, who does a truly incredible job with the translating.

Happy reading :).

#my desperate shot at propagandizing now that my followers have sat through months of on and off obsessive tai sui posting #besties it is genuinely so good #it made me cry. and that is a fcking feat.#tai sui #priest #cnovel #webnovel #long post #I'm not putting a readmore on this bc I want to force y'all to look at it #sorry #book rec #invasion of the frogs

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notahungryjoke · 9 months ago

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Captain Domi interview

I: "How are you, what do you think about the match? Another win with a clean sheet, and another goal for you."

D: " The most important thing for me is the win with a clean sheet, me scoring a goal is secondary. I'm not at all satisfied with the first half, but I doubt anyone is, which is good, at least, we can learn from it. We reacted well however in the second half."

I: "What was the problem in the first half?"

D: "Only if I know... I don't know what happened. We made the same mistakes that we have previously discussed and promised to avoid. It was just one of those days."

I: "What can you tell us about your goal?"

D: "Uhm, funny story, because after we were done with the celebration, Lacika (nickname for Kleinheisler) told me that the only reason he lost the ball was so I could score a goal, thanks, I guess? *laughs* No, Lacika lost the ball, it happens, we reacted well, got the ball back. I saw Seffi (his nickname for Schäfer) on the wing, then I think it was Barni (nickname for Varga) who made the run [to distract the defenders], and then with some luck, but I managed to get [the ball] in."

I: "How satisfied were you that essentially it was the defenders who made the second goal happen?"

D: "We need everyone in equal measure, all eleven of us. The goalkeeper to do his magic, the defenders to do their longballs, the midfielders to keep the ball and pass to the forwards. Or in this case, a defender and a left back. Finally, even Lang used his brains, even for a defender. *laughs* (This is some kind of inside joke between them that the defenders have no brains lol)

We go match by match. We still have a lot of improvement to make, however the most important thing in my opinion is that our team is close, we are one. Everyone fights for everyone. We all have each other's back, [most importantly] if someone is going through it. It doesn't matter who is who, we are one team, and we play and fight as a team."

I: " This is your 14th unbeaten match in a row. How long do you think you can keep going and what does this mean to you?"

D: " *smiles* Only I know the answer to that... Yeah, 14 games, but as I said we go match by match. I'm glad for this streak, obviously. Even the boss [the manager] said let's keep carrying on until we can. Besides, we are at that point now, that we not only want to remain unbeaten, but we want to win every game. This is how I see it, and I'm sure the rest of the guys see it the same.``

His reaction on the stadium chanting his name:

D: " I heard it, and I thanked them for it. If you saw me doing that, yeah, that was for them. (He sent kisses to the crowd) I'm thankful, I felt goosebumps all over my body. I hope it can happen again. "

About having to do a lot of defensive work, dropping back deep, playing as a right back.

D: "It's not really about playing as a defender, more like being everywhere, where I'm needed. Still, I hope I won't have to become a right back. *smiles* But if the manager puts me there, then that's where I will play.

About Séfi's assist:

D: "It was perfect. He carried the ball nicely, and we discussed it previously what we should sometimes do in situations like this [...]. It worked out well."

About his free-kicks:

D: " Sometimes they go in, sometimes they don't. They haven't for some time now, but surely I will have one in the net soon enough."

I: "There are still a lot of challenges waiting for you. How are you managing that, with the Euros coming up soon too?"

D: " It's not easy. I will go back to my club, like everyone else. We have a lot of matches, I will try to do my best at each one. Hopefully I can get called up for the nt if I play well enough. *smiles* That's it.

#dominik szoboszlai #hungary nt

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accio-victuuri · 11 months ago

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BJYX and Tennis 🎾🎾🎾🎾

this is a long overdue post related to a popular cpn among us and a shared interest for zz and wyb. it’s interesting that both of them have picked up this sport in a span of time that’s mostly close to each other. while you can argue that it’s a popular sport and anyone can pick it up, when it comes to them, it adds to the pattern of them liking something at the same time. why is it always them? 😂😂😂😂

i wanna say that there is really no “big evidence” out there that we know of yet, but i think it’s still an important one. maybe one day a piece will come up and we can revisit.

GG and Tennis

between them, gg picked it up first, or publicly showed off his love for it. As early as 9/2022 during the Loreal Pro live, he shared some recent stuff he’s been enjoying which were badminton, billiards and tennis.

11/2022 he became more partial of tennis when XZS shared photos and videos of him playing the sport. as soon as he did, even the china open weibo account invited him to come on over and play. tho ZZ is not known to be the most sporty person out there, it ties up with his desire to be more fit. during that time, we have seen ZZ who was working out often. so playing tennis seems to be a rational step, tho at the time, we didn’t know how it could contribute to CPN. he also had said in other interviews that he wants to try and do more things, which is so similar to how wyb approaches his life and why i believe they work so well together. 🤍

then in the next events that he attended and interviews, you can see him saying tennis more often.

Weibo TV Internet Video Summit Red Carpet:

“Exercise is a way to relax and relieve stress. If I had to say, tennis (is my favorite).”

Weibo night 2023 sina interview:

“If you ask about my favorite sport probably its tennis.”

he loves it so much, that when he shared a photo of his snowman last year, the heart he used is a tennis vibration dampener/ shock absorber. a silent nod to his love for the sport.

WYB and Tennis

what got me questioning the timeline of us saying that XZ started the whole tennis mania was yibo saying recently that he is playing tennis again. tho what i can only find is a 2015 video of him showing how he is playing tennis — which looks more like he was acting and doing it as a joke compared to now where he is obsessed with it. tho their hobbies should always be out there and spoken in public, knowing how quickly he picks things up, i don’t doubt he played the sport at one point before his other interests took over.

fast forward to now, starting the whole tennis story during chanel shenzhen where he was photographed playing and even the instructor posted about it. to being decked out in lacoste tennis gear. it was a quick switch cause we knew he has in his golf phase and then the love for tennis seemed to come from nowhere. we knew that the golf love was fueled by his co star from chang feng po lang. so who is the influence this time?

the evidence we see of him being in love with tennis started with bystander promos and then the recent post of ybo. i don’t know if we are gonna get more bits, unless he finds another hobby.

AND NOW IT’S CPN TIME. 🤍

the clowning immediately started as soon as wyb showed interest in the sport and we connected it to xz. which is usual for us cause we are cpfs! the speculation being, wyb played tennis before them dropped it. xz became a fan of the sport and most likely talked to wyb about it, hoping he would play with him. maybe they did play together at some point then wyb was lured into it lol. and now, it’s his new his favorite. i would honestly cackle if xzs somehow releases a clip of him playing tennis again. so/os are saying wyb is leeching or something but they don’t know it’s what boyfriends do! share each other’s likes!

recently, there were talks about a mystery photo of WYB going around that some are thinking is a time that they played together and that’s why WYB was cropped out. @rainbowsky talked about that here. but personally, i think this him with some friends or maybe an instructor + casual players. whoever posted that just wanted to share wyb’s photo. i’m not sure about the comments, but some are saying this place is close to where weibo night took place — an event they attended together. which makes people feel more 👀 about it.

their rackets are different but that doesn’t say much. they could use whatever they want. it’s weird tho that the recent ybo video posted had the brand of the racket blurred out when it wasn’t in the previous video. so why now?

ultimately, what attracts us to this cpn is the possibility that they play tennis together. also how they influence each other. whatever it is, i just hope they continue to go for the things they love and we will be here to support them. 💛

-END.

#bjyx #yizhan #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #i’m doing catch up with cpn posts cause the past days have been so busy

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nono-uwu · 2 months ago

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what is it about crowferi that you personally don’t like?

Oookaaaay first I want to preface this by saying that if you or anyone reading this ships it, I don't really care and all my hating is kept to myself and this blog so go enjoy your doomed toxic yaoi👍 I just enjoy being a whiny little hater (also I'm very hyped up about miku expo and that leads to questionable decsisions aslfkfnen)

The short answer: my personal interpretation of both characters seperately and their relationship doesn't make for any healthy relationship, let alone a romantic one. I know that that's the appeal for many but I preffer my ships to be mostly healthy

Longer answer (yapper mode activated):

As I said, I like my ships mostly healthy.

From the moment Ferid and Crowley met, Ferid was manipulative and abusive. He tormented Crowley, picked off everyone important to him one by one and made sure the only 'human' thing about Crowley later is his desire for revenge, which fizzles out by the time they meet up again, essentially turning Crowley into the prefect guard dog for Ferid. Call me a puritan or whatever but that's horrific abuse and torment, isn't it?

Now does Crowley mind? From what we're told he's only mildly annoyed with Ferid sometimes and otherwise even enjoys Ferids insane little schemes.

Still, this is very much an abuser x abused situation, which I don't vibe with. I get it's ficiton tho so I just don't engage and block, maybe whine in private about it.

It's not just any toxic yaoi, it's toxic from only one side. For me, the appeal of toxic yaoi/yuri is that both sides are equally horrible to eachother. For crowferi, Ferid is basically the only toxic one (or yk, abusive) from the start and Crowley just takes it. That's not a fun dynamic (for me)!!!!

Another thing is the massive mischaracterization of both of them? Now don't get me wrong, headcanons are perfectly fine (lord knows I have a fuck ton), but some of the crowferi content I've seen completley misses the mark? Granted most of the art doing that is older but I still see it circulated on pinterest a lot (maybe twitter too but I'm not active on there).

So these aformentioned pieces turn Ferid into an uwu soft boy who's daddy issues make him break down and sob at the mention of Rigr and Crowley into an chad alpha 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 typa thing (I'm exegareting but you get my point) and it's just... ;-;

Other things idk how to spin into a whole paragraph:

Those aren't a "it's not 100% canon compliant" thing, those are a "he would not fucking say that"(/ref) situation.

As a few have pointed out, Ferid treats Krul better than he ever did Crowley

Ferid never opened up to Crowley beyond a few cryptic remarks, and Crowley never bothered to look into it further. Some people like to pretend they have a deep relationship but that doesn't seem like a deep relationship to me

So, lange Rede kurzer Sinn, the way I see them doesn't make for any romantic relationship, and the toxic aspect isn't even fun (unless you like abuser x abused ig)

Now a reason that actually isn't why I dislike it:

The most common critisism about the ship is that it's technically incest. While I hate incest, ons is hilariously vague when it comes to vampire genetics and the word 'family' is used so often it could be turned into a lethal drinking game.

Like, as humans, Ferid and Crowley aren't related in the slightest and vampire family dynamics are so whack we can dissmiss them calling eachother 'brothers' as banter. If we take the whole incest argument to it's logical extreme, you could say that fucking Mikayuu qualifies as incest because they are adoptive siblings and regularly call eachother family.

This doesn't have anything to do with the ask, I just wanted an excuse to say it lol

#to reitarate: you can ship crowferi idc #tagging this one because I put effort into writing this heugh #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #crowley eusford #ferid bathory

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starryluvs · 1 year ago

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Tips on how to impress a school and get a scholarship from someone who got a scholarship at the most expensive school in my country.

Tip 1: have extracurricular activities. It could be anything from sports to pottery. Your extracurricular activities give the school a better image, for example; you're good at volleyball thats great, you have awards? Even better, now your awards will be given to the school to use for their image. You're good at art? Wonderful. Your art will be displayed to be shown off.

Tip 2. Pick up hobbies that you enjoy but will impress the school. Languages, sport, etc. Langauges are the most useful thing ever. "Yes they're very talented, they speak (lang)" bad example but you get the point. Its impressive to know more than one or two languages.

Tip 3. Work on your weak subjects. So for me it was math. What i did was enter competitions like online ones, it improved my math. Those awards were then brought out when i wanted to get accepted to my dream school. But mostly for yourself, work on your weak subjects. It'll be useful

- Tip 3.5. Just like me i joined free courses on

EDX they have a ton of different things. They're self paced most of the time!! You can pay less than 100$ most of the time to get a certificate!.

Tip 4. Make experiences. Your grades aren't the most important thing. Making experiences can not just show your maturity but those experiences show your independence. You can volunteer at childcare, camps, join competitions. These will pop up in interviews trust me.

Tip 5. Use your interests to your advantage.

You like korean? Learnt it and say you speak korean. You like basketball? Say you're passionate about it. You like to speak? Say you're confident on stage. You have good responsibility? Say youre looking forward to join student council

much love,

xoxo, f

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star-girl69 · 2 years ago

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Writing Tips

so someone asked me if i had any writing tips. i am beyond flattered and i’m so so honored!!!

in no way do i claim to be a professional writer, i’ve just been reading and writing fanfiction for a long time and i’m pretttttty sure i know my way around by now!!

this is not a specific how to list, writing is very personal and subjective to the author. these are just some basic rules that may help you.

—-

the most important thing i could ever tell anyone who wanted to write would be this — show, don’t tell.

this basically means instead of saying: “Bob was sad.”

DESCRIBE what he’s doing! if he’s sad, maybe he’s sitting at a table with his head in his hands! if he’s angry, maybe his fists are clenched!

always remember that your characters are human (or human-like haha) and have human emotions!!

-the secret art of writing is that everything you do is for the reader. as a writer, it’s your job to create a world and characters where those two things interact with each other.

always remember your audience. if you’re writing fanfiction for young adults, maybe don’t overcompensate your writing by using “fancy words” that the majority might not understand… no one wants to look up the meaning of a word when they are reading fanfiction

the opposite also goes- if you’re writing academically for colleagues with the same skill level and knowledge as you, feel free to use all those big fancy words! it may even help your credibility as an author if you know how to correctly use those words, make sure you aren’t just cluttering your writing

setting and character go hand in hand.

-don’t overwhelm your reader!! it’s tempting to just explain everything all right away, all the lore, all the characters — but that makes your writing very difficult and overwhelming to read. instead, reveal things like that slowly.

-characterization!! i could talk about characterization for hours, but here are a few basic things to remember!

direct characterization: the author explicitly tells the reader something about the character. (example: Bob was very tall.)

indirect characterization: the author reveals a character’s traits through their actions or words. (example: if a character is always seen as asking a lot of questions, the reader can probably assume that the character is very inquisitive/curious.)

-let your readers mind fill in the blanks!!

if your setting is at the beach, your reader most likely already has a clear picture of the beach in their mind. don’t spend precious words talking about the waves hitting the sand, the reader already knows that!

-and finally, as my beloved ap lang teacher always says: BE CONCISE AND PRECISE!!!!!!

of course, with creative writing you’re guaranteed a little more imagery and artistic freedom, but still be cautious!

okay and now here’s some more technical stuff!!

-when you switch speakers, start a new paragraph!

correct:

“Hi,” Speaker A said. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Speaker B replied.

wrong:

“Hi,” Speaker A said. “How are you?” “I’m good,” Speaker B replied.

-when you have dialogue ending in a comma the next word after it isn't capitalized!

for example:

“I know this,” she said.

when the next word is a name, or I, you capitalize it as usual.

for example:

“What is it?” I asked.

“That’s not it,” Bob said.

—-

that’s all the tips i have!! tysm for reading all of this and i hope it helps!! happy writing 🫶

#jake sully x neytiri #jake sully x reader #neytiri x reader #neteyam x reader #lo’ak x reader #writing #addie says stuff!!!#avatar 2009 #avatar way of water

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volann · 6 months ago

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Everyone in tgcf is a foil character

Part 4: Fangxin guoshi arc

(pt 1; pt 2; pt 3)

I would love to write about the less significant characters first, but we only know about Lang Qianqiu’s parents and An Le from other people’s words, so analysing them based on that would go against everything this book stands for. There also isn’t enough for me to go from in the novel and I’m not taking the donghua into account here. I also think it’s too early to write about Qi Rong, and I already wrote that I don’t want to compare a character to himself – Xie Lian and Fangxin guoshi in this case. Although I think I should mention that the whole idea of choosing who should live and who should die is present here too – Xie Lian as Fangxin guoshi sacrifices Lang Qianqiu’s father's life in order to save the people of Xianle. And his technique of stopping two swords by taking all the damage upon himself perfectly highlights Xie Lian’s problem-solving method of self-sacrifice. The flashback of talking to Lang Qianqiu as Fangxin guoshi overall connects to Xie Lian’s actions in the past, especially the “Maybe he shouldn’t have intervened from the start” must’ve hurt, but that seems pretty obvious and is getting me even further from the topic of this post.

Well, now Lang Qianqiu is the only one left. However, he’s also one of the most obvious and well-known foils and a lot of people have already compared him to Xie Lian. I don’t really know what I can add to that, especially considering that I’m writing these as I reread the book because I can’t rely on my memory – this means that I haven’t reread the flashbacks yet, and Lang Qianqiu before the whole revelation about his parents’ death is more similar to Xie Lian in the 2nd book. So I can’t go into too much detail. But what I can do for now is point out the times when the text directly compares them or puts them in the same situation, and we’ll see what I can add from there.

Let’s begin with Lang Qianqiu’s first appearance in the Gambler’s Den. Xie Lian hears the bet, realises it’s wrong and debates “whether he should cast some small trick”. Lang Qianqiu also realises it’s wrong, but he actually steps in right away, breaks the cup, the man’s hand and the table and causes problems, mainly for himself. Xie Lian from book 2 is also infamous for getting into trouble for doing the right thing, like catching a kid during a very important ceremony, but this scene in particular shows how different they are in the present, with Xie Lian being less straight-forward, and also less straight-forward than he himself was in his youth.

Next, here’s an excerpt from ch 44:

“At this sight, Hua Cheng laughed out loud, closed his fan, and tossed it away behind him.

“Are the heavenly officials so pathetically poor that once they see gold, they can’t let it go?”

If those words were directed at Xie Lian, he would have pretended not to hear them. But they were directed at Lang Qiangqiu, a noble born of royalty. He hadn’t cared for riches his entire life, and although he knew the enemy was intentionally taunting him, he was still provoked into a boiling rage.”

This paragraph kinda does the job for me. Pretty sure the difference is caused by Xie Lian being used to hearing insults.

Lang Qianqiu at some point thinks that Xie Lian’s motivation was to ruin his life the same way Xie Lian’s life was ruined, and Lang Qianqiu says he will never be the same as Xie Lian. He basically describes Bai Wuxian’s motives and methods here, not Xie Lian’s. And in these situations the similarity between the two is the desire to never be like their mentor (or the person who really wants to be their mentor? I’m not confident enough right now about Bai Wuxian’s exact actions to state that with 100% accuracy, but I’ll probably return to this when I analise him. Or maybe I won’t bc he’s also one of the most obvious foils, idk).

In ch 53, Qi Rong says this about Lang QianQiu: “What a whiny crybaby, just like my saintly cousin was once upon a time!” I don’t have anything to add to that bc I can’t remember a situation that would show Xie Lian being a whiny crybaby, but let’s uuugh trust Qi Rong on this one? Taking into account that his definition of a whiny crybaby is probably different from mine, I don’t think crying over your parents’ unjust death is enough to be called that.

Those are all the examples I could find. Now, do you really need me to tell you that Lang Qianqiu before finding out the truth is as naive and straight-forward as Xie Lian was before the fall of Xianle? That their worldview was very black and white? Or that they both had secretly immortal guoshis that introduced them to a variant of the trolley problem? Or that they experienced a traumatic event at 17? Or that after seeing how unfair, cruel and complicated the world is, they both became violent and seeked revenge? Well, now it’s important to highlight the difference: for better or for worse, Xie Lian managed to protect Lang Qianqiu from the mentioned above complexity of the world, at least for several hundreds of years, which is the reason why they act differently in the present.

I won’t go into more detail because, again, other people already did, although I might come back to him when he appears in the book again. I think that’s all I wanted to say about these arcs? I feel like this isn’t much, but I did write down a lot for the future parts Scratch that, I just saw that this part (please pretend that is the longest one yet, wow. Anyway, hopefully the next part won’t take as much time… Meanwhile, thank you for your time and attention!

#foils in tgcf #tgcf #tgcf meta #lang qianqiu #Imagine writing the longest part yet and then having to turn them into two small parts #even if it's more logical #it left pt 3 without any foil characters and I don't know how to feel about that #I also feel bad for taking almost a year to write this part #but I promise I'll get through the whole novel #Also also English still isn’t my first language sorry for all the mistakes that remained even after my friend checked it

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braimrotting · 1 year ago

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My playlist as QSMP

(warning im shit at english lang so my interpretation of songs may be way off... im also ace and often miss romantic implication so.. yeah if a song has lyrics which are like about an s/o and i havent specified i probably dont mean for it to be shipping)

songs included: tongues & teeth (the crane wives), pink in the night (mitski), gb eating gb whilst listening to gb (crywank), going to brighton (fresh)

TONGUES & TEETH - The Crane Wives hideduo fit pov fit as a self serving survivalist from a wasteland experiencing love in this cursed fuckin island • "ive grown a mouth so sharp and cruel its all that i can give to you my dear" habits from 2b2t even little things like his lack of trust, hasnt confided his true intentions to anyone - constant lies by omission - hes flawed and hes recognised it • "if you're fine with that you can be mine like that" theres very much something going on with hideduo but fit is insistent on his baby steps bc he doesnt want to hurt pac. 'are you fine with that?' • "you gotta know that this wont last" this is soooo fit coded bffr. i adored the conversations fit n ramon had but one thing that stuck out to me was that he would always specify that only he and ramon would escape. never mentioned anyone else. selfish in the most understandable way • "i will ruin you, its a habit i cant help it" again 2b2t ingrained habits that never leave. linked w above point, hes selfish and that isnt necessarily a bad thing just not great for a blossoming relationship • "i will love u like the ashes in my cigarette box" hc 2b2t!fit smoked - ramon told him off once but now that the baby's gone hes picked it up again, a headcanon bc i cannot imagine ccfit smoking since hes such a health buff - feels so out of character lmao strong thoughts about qfit no one even try to fight me - his entire character occupies a space in my brain PINK IN THE NIGHT - Mitski phissa missa pov devotion easy • "i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you" • "can i try again and again and again" i dont think i need to say more - tbh this could go for guapoduo too but the "can i try again" made me think of missa + how he wants to live up to phils expectations

GB EATING GB WHILST LISTENING TO GB - Crywank phissa still missa pov

"in a busy room youre all i see" literally THEM sorry during the mexican independence event they were literally all they could see.. them doing the dance together - it may as well have just been the 2 of them + phil jumping in front of missa to take pics of him alone w/o him noticing

"calm down dont let her see how fast your heart is beating" missa saying "im speaking weird so the translator doesnt pick up, i love you" THIS GUYYYYYYYY

"i think about you but i know im not good enough" bffr mr missa "ill come back when im a good enough father" sinfonia

"and I built you up to much, now I can't say what's on my mind in case I go and scare you away" missa doesnt want to burden phil because he feels like hes been such a bad father compared to phils dedication - now that hes back he doesnt want to disappoint him anymore

"and how could i compete with the world at your feet" missa coming back to like 3 men at phils whim LMAO

"i wouldn't want to hurt you by letting you hurt me you don't deserve to feel guilty"

"i just want you in my life"

sorry im so obsessed with their puppy love GOING TO BRIGHTON - Fresh tubbo coded, i mean with the name i had to give it to him in my mind hes talkin to phil • "things i care the most about dont seem to ever get old" his excitement over everything even the simplest things is so refreshing • "i feel the fire inside me trains passing over head" his determination posing a unique threat to the feds and i feel like its such an important part of his character. also he likes trains :) • "there are things i learnt inside my head that they cant ever take away from me" lil bugs and just knowledge of the game make him a great bug tester for the admins lmao. this guy takes any chance to glitch his way through life

"starting over is a sign of strength"

also honorary mention to that one person who said the garden was codebreakerduo coded because you are so right and true and based and i think of that post everytime i listen to that song. being so normal by peach pit was very celltw (is that what pac and cellbit are called?) to me but i didnt really have much reasoning

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp fitmc #qsmp tubbo #qsmp missa #qsmp cellbit #im so qsmp brained i cant even listen to my music without thinking of these cubitos #hekp

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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 1 year ago

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Now that you've finished both, what do you think are the difference between WangXian or HuaLian? Which mc and ml do you love more between both series? Which couple do you love more?

P.s Do you plan to read SVSSS? I think the best for fanfics inspiration from 3 MXTX works are SVSSS.....

This answer got way longer than I meant for it to 😅

I am all about Hualian 10000%. It's just a matter of preference, and I'll explain why I like one better than the other, but I'm not crapping on Wangxian shippers at all. Something for everyone haha!

Here's the thing. I like a lot about Wangxian. They've got a very Kirk/Spock thing a lot of the time that is eternally entertaining. But I just don't like the way they have sex. I dislike the way they have sex so much that it kind of retroactively made me less interested in the pairing as a whole. More specifically, I don't like how Lan Wangji does sex. People had warned me about it and I was like, "Eh, but I'm fine with CNC, all I need is that first C, so it's fiiiine." But. Nope. Thankfully this isn't a personal trigger for me, just a very firm preference, but I just...to quote myself in a previous post, "while the book did a good job convincing me that Wei Wuxian is into everything Lan Wangji does to him, it didn't do a good job convincing me that Lan Wangji knows that for sure, or is in control of himself, or would stop if Wei Wuxian didn't like something." That just isn't to my taste.

On the other hand, Hualian are also implied to be having rough and kinky sex, but there's much more of a feeling that they're communicating about it. I'm not expecting them to like, have a formal safeword or anything, but even just:

"Sorry, I went overboard last night," Hua Cheng apologized. It took a moment for Xie Lian to realize what he meant, and he quickly waved his hands. "Wh-what are you saying? That's not it at all--everything's fine!" Hua Cheng arched an eyebrow. "Is that so? If everything is fine even after that, does that mean I didn't go overboard last night? Does that mean I can...?"

"Is gege not coming up to join me?" But if he went up there, when would Xie Lian have a a chance to come back down? At that point, they could forget about doing anything else for a while. "Nah." Xie Lian declined politely. "My San Lang has overworked himself." "Nah," Hua Cheng laughed. "How could San Lang ever be afraid of hard work when it comes to working gege hard?"

Like. They're goofy about it and Hua Cheng loves to tease Xie Lian but they are actually talking about sex when they're not having sex. There's a degree to which they're communicating outside of the heat of the moment. And even in the amnesia extra (which makes me feel so bad for Hua Cheng omg he's being surprisingly chill but I need to write some meta about how miserable he must be during that) Xie Lian's fuzzy memories of what he at first assumes was a rape are full of the sense of being gentled and cherished and of their fingers and red strings tangling even as he's held down and roughed up.

Also the chapter opening with,

Laughing, Xie Lian pushed Hua Cheng off him -- his crushing weight was making it hard to breathe. The heat and passion had yet to subside when something suddenly occurred to him. "Oh yeah, San Lang," he began offhandedly.

That's so stinking cute I can't. They are so comfortable. Nothing in their relationship overall or in the hints of their sex life we see implies in the slightest that Hua Cheng isn't in control of himself in the most important ways (I do tend to think of him being a shaking crying coming-too-soon mess the first few times, but that's a very different kind of out of control lol). He worships Xie Lian, literally. Lan Wangji has this underlying layer of horny anger born in a repressed childhood; Hua Cheng's horny is all built on reverence. THAT IS MY JAM.

As for SVSSS, I think I will probably read it if only to try to figure out what on earth its fandom is talking about. It's...like an isekai I think? Which is not usually my thing, but at this point I feel like I gotta round out the trio haha!

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #heaven official's blessing spoilers #tgcf spoilers #tw rape mention #asks #heaven official's blessing novel spoilers #not tagging wangxian directly because i don't want to be attacked with torches and pitchforks lmao

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bookloure · 1 year ago

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I hesitate to call whatever this it is I’m writing here as book reviews, so I guess tawagin ko na lang silang #ReadingJourney. So ayun, here’s my reading journey with RM Topacio-Aplaon’s “Topograpiya ng Lumbay.”

Based on this book alone, I find a lot of similarities between RM Topacio-Aplaon’s writing and themes to Haruki Murakami. In my head, I see him as a “grounded Murakami.”

Topograpiya ng Lumbay follows three lonely people whose lives intersect because of a horrific event that coincided with Yolanda. In the span of a week or so, we follow their journey to unearth the past and, more importantly, find themselves. It’s one of those nothing-really-happens book. The reader just follows these lonely characters to places and listens to their pseudo-deep conversations. As I said, very Murakami-esque.

Another (unfortunate) similarity between RM and Haruki is how they write women. The fetishization of thin, lithe women is all over the novel. In more than one scene, Melody, who has a ‘maliit na suso’ at ‘mapupulang tuhod,’ masturbates for nothing but to cater to the male gaze. (I’m just tired of it. Having read a lot of women authors, I am highly sensitive to these things now. And I’m glad I am. I wouldn’t have noticed all of these bullshit when I was sixteen, and that’s sinister.)

That said, there were enough interesting elements in the novel to keep me going. It touched on topics that I thought were interesting. I can rally behind the body horror-ish vibes of the book. There are many scenes where the gross bodily fluids and functions were underscored. Clearly, may pinaglalaban din si RM pagdating sa depiction ng kadiring mga bagay na ginagawa ng mga katawan natin sa mga nobela. Merong mga pangugulangot, pagkamot ng bayag, pag-amoy ng hininga etc. At masasabi ko namang na-enjoy ko yung grossness.

There were moments when characters were used as mouthpieces. And I thought hindi ganon ka-elegant yung pagka-insert ng mga opinyon nya sa narrative. For one, RM has some strong opinions about Filipino readers who seem to prefer English novels, which I do not agree with. I tend to give Filipinos more grace just because our colonial past, our government, and the systems here are shit.

It’s the novel’s political dimension that I enjoyed the most. It felt to me like I was let in on a secret. I should say tho, that all the horrific scenes happen around this political dimension; there’s torture, mutilation, and bestiality (which thankfully was not depicted in a graphic way.) And I know that politics in rural areas of the country are violent—who can ever forget the Maguindanao Massacre?—but it’s important to be reminded.

Overall, this is not a favorite book, but I’m not giving up on RM Topacio Aplaon yet. (hello, cognitive dissonance!) I still have two of his books that I want to read before I can say for sure that he’s not the author for me.

May pakiramdam akong maiinis si RM Topacio Aplaon na Ingles ‘tong review ko ng libro nya, but whatever.

#book review #bookblr #booklr #philippine literature #topograpiya ng lumbay #rm topacio aplaon

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alexendria-rose · 2 years ago

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Tony Starks Daughter- Series One~

Warnings: cussing, and Loki(lmao he needs a warning)

Story Plotline: This is around age of Ultron, but its a little different Loki joins the avengers at Starks Tower to enjoy human life, one of his punishments, but he meets Tony Starks 21 year old daughter, but who very much like her father, but except was falling for Loki a little bit everyday.

Ps: So I know Loki, Scott Lang, or Spiderman is in age of Ultron but I just really love the dynamic, think of it as a secret universe telling the age of Ultron story, I hope you enjoy, I’m hoping to make this a long series so come long to enjoy this with me

word count: 4321

Being the daughter of Tony Stark was hard enough but being in the Avengers tower where they all treated you like a daughter was way worse. I was treated like a child most of the time when I was in fact 21 years old, so being treated like a child was the worst thing to feel as a 21 year old girl. I heard a soft knock on my door while I sat on my phone scrolling through my social media.

“Yes?” I ask lifting my head a bit to look towards the door. Peter perks his head in smiling a bit.

“H-Hey Y/n, Mr. Stark told me to fetch you.” I scrunch my eyebrows confused.

“Why didn’t he just ask Jarvis?” I usually ask if dad asked Jarvis to fetch me whenever it wasn’t so important but it must be serious if he asked Peter to fetch for me.

“I-I don’t know Miss Stark he just asked me to fetch you.” Peter looked nervously at her.

“Peter you can call me Y/n I’ve told you this a million times kid.” I chuckled at the kid in front of me, he was definitely a shy one, but whenever his Spiderman came out he was more confident as Spiderman then peter parker. “Alright I’m coming I guess.” I mumble under my breath. Peter smiled confidently, opening the door for me. I head downstairs at dad’s little lair as I called it, even though he hated that I called it that “sounds like something for bad guys, and I definitely am not that Y/n” he would say each and everything time I said the name. “Hey dad, you asked for me?” I ask strutting into the room, hands in pocket.

“Ah my beloved daughter, you’ve been trapped in your room, I just missed ya.” He says as he was building god knows what.

“Alright dad, what do you need?” I giggled, rolling my eyes at my humorous dad.

“Well, it's not what I need, more like a warning daughter.” He stopped the humor and looked at me seriously. I cock my head to the side like a lost puppy.

“And that is?” I sit down on the chair next to him straddling the seat.

“Well, Loki..” I wide my eyes mostly in anger, mostly in fear.

“Loki?! Is he back?” I stood up from my chair picking at my cuticles.

“No… I mean well yes but not like that, He’s going to be staying here, I’m not too fond of the idea, but Thor says he really is changing, that maybe normal human life would be good for him.” Dad says playing with his tools looking at her with concern. “I just want you to stay away from him, I have no idea if he’s changed or not, but I don’t want him around my daughter.” Dad strictly states putting his tools down and standing up.

“He’s changed? After ya know killing thousands of people, we’re just going to welcome him here after that?!” I exclaim rubbing my forehead a headache starting to form. “Dad I don’t know about this, how are we sure we’re going to trust him?” I turn my back on my dad still rubbing my forehead, it starts to hurt worse then it just did before. “Alright dad there shouldn't be any problem staying away from him.. When is he coming?” My dad starts mumbling under his breath, I face him “Dad when is he coming?” Dad chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his head.

“Right now?” As he said that I heard a booming voice.

“HEY GUYS LOOK MY BROTHER IS HERE TO ENJOY THE MORTAL WORLD!” I hear Thor boom. If looks could kill it would kill my dad.

“I’ll yell at you later, we have to introduce a stupid God guest or whatever they’re called.” I scoffed my dad keeping his distance from me feeling the heat burn of my body with anger. I walk up with my dad back to the main living room. I cross my arms stomping like a child up the stairs… maybe that’s why everyone thinks I’m a child…

“Oh looky what we have here Loki, we swear we missed you, especially since you left your mark on everyone here in New York.” My dad retorts. I widened my eyes at the low remark my dad made. I look up from the ground staring at the stupid go- oh my god, he was gorgeous. Fuck why did he do what he did. His hair was long silk black, he was tall and lanky, he wore this beautiful black suit that hugged his amazing figure. Loki looked up, locking eyes with my own. I tug at my sleeves a little taken back at his eyes, I couldn’t even look him straight in the eyes for some reason they imitated me. “I don’t know if you’ve met my daughter Y/n, but you are not to go anywhere near her, got me?” Loki crosses his arms, smirking slightly. My dad lifts his eyebrows, also crossing his arms walking closer to Loki. “Got me? Loki the emo.” Thor widens his eyes looking at the stance between the two, basically one trying to be more dominant then the other.

“Alright alright, he understands, don't ya brother!” Thor booms excited. Loki just nods, keeping quiet but observing the room around him. The whole crew eventually comes out greeting Loki, but keeping an eye on him.

“Alright I think we should definitely have a party, with just us of course.” Scott Lang shouts grabbing the alcohol that was in my dad's cabinets. “What ya say Stark! My dad was still glaring daggers at Loki, not 100% satisfied with Loki’s answer from earlier.

“That’s fine but Y/n can’t join.” I whipped around from the conversation I was having with Natasha.

“Um, is that your decision dad?” I quipped back at my father, I love him dearly but he really was a drama queen, huh I really did get my attitude from my dad. My dad lifts a questioning eyebrow at me.

“You’re like 12.” Steve says, taking a swig of the beer that Scott handed him.

“Steve! I’m 21 dude, at least I'm not like 100.” I sass Steve, doing a whole sassy head roll.

“Wait, she's 21?” Steve tries to remain serious but starts laughing when he takes another swing. “Ya know I’m only a joking doll.” I hum a bit swaying my hips moving towards the couch, didn’t realize I was sitting right next to Loki, damn was he quiet.

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” I whispered while my dad was in a conversation with Thor, I knew I was supposed to stay away, and not really talk to him, but I was just being friendly.

“Loki.” He states leaning back on the sofa. He just starts staring at me. “Why are you sitting next to me?” He asks, smirking a bit. I knew he was just trying to show his imitating side so nobody would talk to him or be near him, but I was of course used to my father being that imitating even though underneath all of that my dad was just a big old fluff ball.

“I don’t know, you look interesting, I’m a curious person much like my father.”

“Ah yes, Tony. I didn’t know he had a daughter. You in fact surprised me very much.” He states, damn this dude really just went straight to the point, which I didn’t really mind, straight to the point is better than oddly weird forced conversations.

“Mhm, I am definitely a way better Stark.” I giggled a bit at the small smile he was forming on his face.

“Oh is that so?” Interesting.” My dad turned away from the Thor conversations to see Loki and I have a much enjoyable conversation.

“Uh ah, this ain’t happening.” My dad squishes between Loki and I. “Y/n to your room now.” I groan a bit.

“I am a 21 year old adult, you still can't make me go to my room.”

“I said room, now, you live under my roof, Y/n Stark.” He pats my leg. “Now go.” I roll my eyes before standing up.

“Alright I’ll see you losers tomorrow, when you’re all hungover.” I smirked walking away into my room. God, I mean I did agree to not talk or be near Loki, but he was so interesting. He didn’t seem so terrible, I mean I think of New York and hate him, but I feel like deep down there's something that nobody knows, I see a hurting man mostly, but I’m curious and I wanna dig deeper.

My throat starts getting dry in the middle of the night, god I hated getting up in the middle of the night just to hydrate god. I rolled out of my bed dragging my big snuggly blanket with me groggy walking out to the kitchen. I was so tired I didn’t see the figure standing in the kitchen. “Fuck!” I half screamed just noticing it was Loki standing there all mischievously drinking some water as well, guess we both had the same idea.

“Oh hi Loki.” I groaned, desperately drinking the water I poured into my cup. “Are you doing ok adjusting?” I question leaning back on the counter.

“It’s better than a prison cell, so I'm doing better than I was.” He starts using his magic to play with his water. I smile at the stuff he was making with his magic.

“That’s so cool…” I lean closer to him looking at his magic in detail, his magic was beautiful, it definitely is dangerous but beautiful as well. Loki looks down at me smiling a bit before quickly going back to his normal stoic look.

“You mortals are too impressed by anything you see, hm?” He hums.

“I just wish I had that kind of magic, I mean look around me, I have all these amazing people who literally save the world from danger with powers or with their talents, I just want to help people one day, and if I had that I would in an instant.” I grin and take my last sip of water. Loki looks down at the floor placing his cup down on the counter.

“My mother thought the same, she always used her powers for good… really was a disappointment of a son.” Loki sighs. I place my hand on Loki's shoulder.

“I highly doubt your mother is disappointed in you.” Loki looks up a bit through his hair that still stoic look on his face.

“Oh how would you know? You barely know me.” I shrug a bit knowing he was trying to cover his emotions by deflecting on me.

“Because I know parent’s, and your mom from what I’ve heard from Thor sounds like a lovely mother, I think she wanted best for you, you to love your life and make something out of it, now I know nothing about God’s, but that’s just what I think.” I place my cup in the sink, turning away from Loki about to walk off when I stop in my tracks and look at the broken man in my kitchen. “You’re always welcome to talk to me… I really do like to talk, so if you ever need someone here, I’m always here.” Loki somewhat smirks at the comment.

“If you insist, love.” It rolled off his tongue somewhat easily, I bit my lip to stop the blush rushing up my face. I do a quick hum before rushing into my room. What did I get myself into…

“I know you were talking to him in the kitchen!” My dad screeches. I jolted awake my hair wild and I’m sure all over the place.

“D-Dad.” I say tiredly I look at my phone groaning. “It’s literally 6:30AM!” I flop head back into my pillow before grabbing the pillow besides me placing it over my face, that was before my dad ripped it off my face.

“I said stay away and you apparently don’t listen.” I groan again, turning my back away from him.

“Another thing I get from you huh?” I remark glaring at the wall knowing my dad would get more upset if I glared at him.

“This is no time to joke Y/n, all I’m doing is protecting you.” I turn around to face him rolling my eyes so he can visually see.

“Dad he really doesn’t seem so terrible, he seems broken…” I say sitting up on my back against my bed frame. “I think he really wants to change, and be a better man God, I have no idea what to call him, whatever it doesn’t matter, I see it dad, please just trust me.” My dad grabs the chair on my desk bringing it close to my bed straddling the chair.

“I just don’t want to see you hurt and I can see the attachment from a mile away.” I look down at my hands once again picking at my cuticles. God this was definitely a bad habit I needed to stop.

“You can see that?” I ask my dad hums softly scratching at his beard.

“I trust you kid, just please be careful, I’ll take him away if he does anything harmful to you, you come before anybody here, you got me?” I smile softly nodding a bit, he grabs my chin before kissing my forehead. “Now the team and I have a mission to attend to, Thor probably wants to celebrate tonight so be prepared for that.” I shake my head laughing at my favorite big god.

“Alright sounds like a plan, be safe dad I love you 3000.”

“No, I love you 3000.” He ruffles my hair. “Now go fix up you look like a zombie.”

“Haha, go away.” I grab the bedsheets bringing them over my head groaning like a zombie, my dad starts laughing heading out the door.

“Lazy ass.”

“Everybody get their ass out here, we are going to partyyy.” I hear Thor boom, I walk just wearing simple black pants and a button down t-shirt.

“Oh Thor, you look nice!” I exclaim, Thor chuckles, twirling his hammer around before placing it on the table. Everyone sits down, some start playing cards, some are drinking their hearts out after every mission. I swear they do this. Barton starts twirling his drumstick clearly drunk.

“Dude, that is certainly a trick.” Barton says commenting on Thor's hammer, Thor chuckles passing a drink to Steve sitting on the sofa next to him.

“Oh it’s certainly much more than that.” Barton starts laughing, pointing to the hammer imitating Thor’s voice.

“He shall be worthy should the powwweerr.” he exclaims still pointing at the hammer in front of him “Whatever man, it's a trick!” Thor scoffs a bit knowing exactly what Barton got himself into.

“Oh I wouldn’t do that Barton.” I say sipping on my wine.

“Oh let him Y/n, please be my guest.” Thor says, pointing towards the hammer. Loki sneaks over and sits right next to me watching all these goons trying to pull on the hammer.

“Even I’m a god, I wouldn’t embarrass myself like this.” Loki says, laughing a bit. Oh a laugh? He’s enjoying himself. I take another sip of my wine staring at Loki.

“Once I tried myself to lift that hammer, but nah nothing.” I say bumping into Loki’s shoulder a bit in a teasing way. “And I think I’m pretty worthy.” Loki smiles again.

“I would think so too.” Loki mumbles under his breath. That’s when we all heard it, a blaring noise. I cover my ears.

“Dad what the hell is happening?!” I ask was that Jarvis? Did something happen? We all looked towards the clunky noise when I saw, wait is that Jarvis?

“Jarvis?” My dad asked playing his pad that controlled the place. He starts speaking some nonsense, about how he killed someone and all the crew questioning him. I stand up, Loki does as well grabbing my arm to put me behind him. Ultron sent him… what is happening right now. Loki grabs his daggers from his sleeve, Thor holds onto his hammer waiting for any attack that will happen.

“I’m here on a mission.” Ultron says in his disgusting robotic voice.

“What mission?” Natasha says sternly.

“Peace of our time.” Ultron says looking at everyone in the group when two other robots come out the wall, Steve kicks up the table to block the robots from coming towards him, Loki grabs me and pushes me towards the floor out of the way of danger. That’s when everything began, everyone started protecting and fighting. I haven't seen them in action since New York, and god they were good at their job.

“Stay here.” Loki puts me near the piano to stay away from the danger God. I wish I could help. I wasn't trained, my dad never let me learn. That’s when one of Ultron's army finds me and starts pointing his weapon arm at me, that's when Steve grabs the thing and throws it away from me, Thor slamming his hammer down on it. I see my dad floating on top of the robots trying to break down the thing.

“Get Y/n out of here now!” I groaned standing up. I needed to help, so I grabbed Steve's shield.

“Steve!” I throw the shield towards Steve when he slams it on the robot, my dad finally defeating the robot.

“Well that was dramatic.” Ultron says wobbling away from the scene a bit.

“Dad!” I run towards my dad who slumps himself on the stairs.

“Y/n I told you to get away.” My dad whispers.

“I can’t, Loki tried but I can’t not just leave and not help.” I hold onto my dad glaring at Ultron.

“I’m sorry I know you mean well, you just didn’t think it through.” Steve starts walking forward towards Ultron but stops in his tracks when he starts speaking again. “You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to evolve?” Ultron grabs the robot in front of him by the head. “With at ease with these puppets.” He crushes the head “There's only one path to peace, the avengers extinction.” Thor grabs his hammer, throwing it at Ultron's chest shattering him into pieces.

“Loki get her out of here.” Loki grabs me by the arm when I hear his words.

“I had strings but now I’m free.” I gasp a bit looking at my dads worried face as Loki brings me to my room. He sits me down on my bed kneeling in front of me.

“Are you okay?” He asks, brushing his fingers lightly across my knuckles. I gasped at the contact nodding a bit.

“I’m fine… but I didn’t do anything to help, I’m a failure.” I cross my arms, basically cuddling myself. “I need to train. I need to help.” Loki chuckles a bit, rubbing the back of his head.

“I don’t think your father would be too fond of that idea.” I look up at Loki smirking, that's when he looks at me eyes wide.

“No.” He states.

“Come on please train me, my dad doesn’t need to know.” He groans, basically ripping his hair. I could tell he was scared that I didn’t even know how to protect myself in that position.

“I’m already on your fathers bad list but now secretly training you. I don’t know love…” She grinned that word again. He only said it when he was vulnerable and it made my heart burst. Glad I can make him that way.

“Please Loki. I want to protect myself and others if I have to. Please.” I beg. Loki looks into my puppy dog eyes sighing giving in.

“Fine but we do this early in the morning before anybody else gets up. Got me? My way.” He demanded. I nodded.

“How early is early?” I ask nicely but also scared for the answer.

“5AM.” He sternly states “I’ll meet you in the morning love.” He smirks before walking out of my door and I couldn’t help but blush at the way he was being. I heard the door open again looking up to expect Loki but saw my dad walking through the door.

“Dad!” I stand up wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Are you okay kiddo?” My dad asks, wrapping me back into a hug smoothing my hair down.

“I’m fine dad, are you okay?” I pull back looking at his busted lip. “Dad..” He pulls away from me.

“Honey I’m fine, come on I’m Iron Man I’ve done worse to my face.” He smiles brightly at me.

“I wish I can help, fight alongside you guys, I hate that y'all need to protect me.” MY dad shakes his head putting his hand up to stop me from talking.

“No, I’m your father, that's my job to protect you first, it’s too dangerous out there sweetie. I can’t have you out there fighting.” He rubs his forehead.

“Dad… I need to lea-”

“No means no. Now get a decent sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow, I love you 3000 honey.” My dad stops me from talking any longer. He grabs my head kissing the top of it a bit longer than he usually does. “I will protect you as long as I can dove.” He messes up my hair before walking out. I sat down on my bed exhaling the breath I was holding in. He’s really not going to like me if he finds out about me training.

“Oh there she is late.” Loki exclaims. I exhaustingly walk into the training room, walking in with my black tights, and my black crop top.

“Shut up.” I grumble under my breath, I look at Loki as he stares intensely at me. “What?” I question nervously twirling my hair before grabbing my hair and putting it in a bun to try to keep out of my face.

“N-Nothing, I um.” Loki clears his throat. “Just thinking about what we were gonna get started with.” I lifted my brow at how difficult he was already being this morning.

“Well probably some stretches?” I ask radiating a soft smile, he gives me a slight cheerful smile back.

“Uh yes, that we definitely have to start out with that.” We start stretching for a bit. “Come on, really stretch the body love, here.” Loki walks over to me standing behind me grabbing my arm and holding it across my body to really stretch out my arms, but I caught my breath when he starts to hold me close, of course he wasn’t intentionally doing it, but he was so close I could barely bear it. His face was close to mine, If I turned my head at him at all we would be inches away. No come on I needed to train instead of trying to bang some type of God…. but oh hell would that be amaz- no come we’re not doing this. I shake my head slightly not even realizing he stepped away from me and was trying to grab hold of my attention.

“Alright first things first, some combat training. We’re going to start with just you hitting this, and then we’re actually going to combat, got it?” I nod my mouth still dry from the thoughts surrounding my head.

“Y-Yes, got it.” I rub my arms walking closer to the punching bag starting out from what I knew but Loki shook his head.

“See I’m not even a fighter really, and I know how to punch better than that.” He laughed as he stood behind me grabbing my hips. “Keep these straight, don’t strain them so much, you lose a lot of power when you do, your form is so far amazing with hitting but you’re losing all your stamina.” He grabs my hips keeping them still, he keeps them placed for a little longer before moving his hands awkwardly. “You’re a Stark, you can do this.” Loki starts teaching me how to punch, kick, and all of the above before we actually get started on hand to hand combat. “Alright” We both got on the training mat. I can already feel the soreness overtaking my body. “This will be a bit harder but I promise I’ll go easy on you okay?” I scoffed, cracking my knuckles trying to show off my competitive side.

“No please don’t I need to train.” Loki smirks getting into his ready position.

“If you say so, love.” I died a little bit inside knowing he was trying to distract me. Loki lunges forward at me grabbing my arm and flipping me over, damn I was already beat. “Hm so easy or not?” I groaned holding onto my side that he slammed me on the mat.

“Fuck you we’re doing this right.” I stand right back up dusting myself up. I lunge towards Loki and he once again does this a million others times until I start seeing his weak points, he always grabbed towards the same arm.

“You wanna stop?” He asked teasingly. I grunt, throwing my head back also looking at him smirking a bit.

“Hell no.” He lunges towards me again and as I was right going towards the same arm. I grab his other arm kicking his legs on balance until wrapping my legs around his dropping him down cradling him onto but barely inches to his face. I look into greenish blue eyes sucking in my breath as he does the same. I inch closer to his face right about to fully kiss this man I barely knew. “Oh Stark isn’t going to like this.” I jumped up off Loki, looking up to see Natasha. Fuck.

#loki laufeyson #loki x reader #avenegrs #tony stark daughter #y/n #x reader #thor #tony stark #scott lang #peter parker #pov #oneshot #series #age of ultron

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nekoannie-chan · 1 year ago

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Secrets Chapter 21: Visiting Old Friends part II

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OFC, Brock Rumlow X OFC.

Word count: 1234 words.

Summary: Sometimes keeping secrets can be dangerous or a heavy burden, which is what Kathleen has been doing for years. She will also be in charge of guiding Steve Rogers into this century; meanwhile, S.H.I.E.L.D. will be looking for a way to kick-start the Avengers Initiative by integrating her as one of the superheroes, but that won't be the only danger they face.

Warnings: Shower incident.

A/N: After long time working on this longfic, I finally post it. If you wanna be added to the taglist, let me know.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

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Secrets masterlist.

Previous chapter.

Next chapter.

Kathleen sighed, she felt like when she was a kid and her parents took her to "secret work meetings"; which most of the time were meetings with other mutants and they let her play with the other kids, very few times they were projects, but they still let her hang out with the other kids there; now they were outside Doctor Henry "Hank" Pym's house waiting for him to open the door for them.

It had been a while since she had seen that family, she vaguely remembered Hope, sometimes she took care of her when her parents worked together, when Pym opened the door it was hard for her to recognize him, he looked older than she remembered.

“ Why did you ask me to come, Doctor Pym? My dad just told me you needed my powers," she asked curiously, she didn't know anything about the quantum world, so she didn't think it could be useful.

“I need you to go to this man's audience and read his mind, he may need it in the future," asked the old man as he handed her a folder with some information.

“Scott Lang? Doesn't look like someone important, Hank," Nozomu remarked, peeking out to see what his daughter was reading.

“That's why I need your daughter’s help, I'm sure she will know how to evaluate if she is competent or not, you yourself have told me the things that could happen," Pym explained.

Then she agreed, in a week it was Scott's hearing, she would improvise something to escape.

“I never understood why several people complained about Dr Pym if he is nice," she said to her parents when they left.

He smiled, sometimes she was still so innocent, even after all she had been through.

Meanwhile, at the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s gym, the training for that day had already started, Steve was worried because Kath didn't show up, he sent messages to her cell phone with some work, since he wasn't used to using the device yet, but he didn't receive any answer.

Forty-five minutes later Fury entered the place, it was rare to see him around, and with his only good eye, he looked for her without finding him.

“Captain Rogers, Commander Rumlow “he called them, and they approached”. Where is agent Anzai? “asked the director.

“Agent Anzai asked permission to leave because she was feeling sick," Brock informed, Steve looked at him astonished, he did not understand why she had not told him.

“ Did she feel sick or did you two make her sick? “Fury stared at the Commander. Rumors run fast in the corridors “he left before the pair could react and say something.

Kath was just entering her house when she received a message from Brock telling her that Fury had been looking for her, she also saw the one from Steve; internally she was glad that Brock had given a credible excuse, but now she would have to manage to avoid Steve's interrogation.

He went in to take a bath to relax, it worked so well that he didn't notice when Steve arrived, nor when he called her, the fact that he hadn't received any answer upset and worried him that he started to look for her in all the rooms, many things had gone through his mind since she was unconscious somewhere in the house until she had been kidnapped, without thinking about it he entered the only place that was needed; When she heard the door open abruptly, Kath woke up startled, she had fallen asleep in the bathtub, she looked up to see who had entered and screamed loudly when she saw Steve in front of her, he immediately turned completely red when he saw her naked and she pulled a towel trying to cover herself.

“I'm s-sorry... i-it w-wasn't my i-intention... I thought something bad had happened to me... R-Rumlow said you were feeling bad," she tried to apologize as she walked towards the door with her eyes closed.

“Steve, watch out, the... wall... “she warned him at the exact moment when the supersoldier crashed into the wall.

After he left the bathroom, she turned to see herself in the mirror, she was completely red, she had never been so embarrassed with him, although internally she had been amused, she could even say that she liked him seeing her, did Steve like seeing her like that, she shook her head vigorously to clear those thoughts from her mind, she had to get dressed quickly and go to apologize to him.

“Steve," she called to him in a sweet voice, he didn't dare to look at her, "I'm sorry for what happened a few moments ago," she felt nervous.

“It's my fault, I should have knocked first, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, it's just that Rumlow said you didn't go to the training because you felt bad and I thought something bad happened to you “his face was still red.

“When there are a lot of people and their minds are noisy and I end up with a migraine, I'm really sorry about what happened, the bath helps me with the discomfort “she apologized again.

The day of Scott's trial she was there, he had been sentenced guilty and would be locked up for three years, it seemed unfair to her, and he tried to stop them from continuing to cheat people. From what she had heard in Scott's mind, she deduced that if he would serve what Hank wanted, in fact, she could tell he was the perfect candidate. His next stop was Pym's house again to brief him on the situation.

Steve sighed, he felt that he was betraying Peggy with what he felt, but there was something that made him uneasy, sometimes it seemed as if a long time ago, before entering the army, he had met Kathleen and that she had a lot of importance in his life, that had no logic, the resemblance of her with Katherine was too much, but Katherine he met at the same time as Peggy without counting that the dates did not coincide so it was more than impossible.

When Kathleen arrived home what she saw made her feel very sad, she was having a hard time understanding her feelings to see that scene, Steve had fallen asleep on the couch and in one hand he had the compass open with Peggy's picture and on the small table the card.

Sometimes she didn't know if she had done the right thing, it hurt her that she was not reciprocated or at least she thought so, she went straight to her room without saying anything.

“ What should I do? “She asked herself while she looked at the pictures of Nico, Clarice, Saori and the twins, if they were there they could advise her, she missed them so much, then she turned to one of the corners of the room and gave a sad smile to her friends, she kept the pictures where she always hid them and got under the covers to pretend she was sleeping.

“Kathy? “He entered the room and found that she was "asleep", he brushed her hair out of her face and gave her a little kiss on the cheek, but close to the corner of her lips. Rest well, doll," he murmured very softly, almost inaudibly.

Ꭲꭺꮐꮮꮖꮪꭲ:

@saiyanprincessswanie @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

@navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @mylifeispainandiloveit @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @jtargaryen18 @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit

#Secrets #steve rogers x oc #brock rumlow x oc

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mississpissi · 2 years ago

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im asking you to explain :mic: abby and her dad go

ok this all started w bulks post about “abby” meaning “father’s joy” and it got me thinking about the contrast between cecil’s relationship with his mom versus the relationship i imagine between abby and her dad. fair warning that this mostly exists in my head but u bet ur burger im still gonna try to back up my ideas w quotes from the text (AP lit and lang babey).

first of all, looking at cecil’s relationship with his mom is super important. one of the first things we hear about her is that she used to hide from cecil for days and that she covered all the mirrors in their house (33). she also tells cecil to “beware, be warned, be wary”, which she apparently says to everything and cecil interprets to mean that she’s proud of him. we also hear in “Homecoming” (55) that cecil looks forward to seeing his mom every year at the homecoming game and was disappointed when he wasn’t able to. in “It Sticks With You” (182), we learn their mother would take them into the woods and walk quickly, cecil saying, “I think she wanted to lose us in the shadowy labyrinth of tall trees.” she would leave flowers at the base of the same old tree every time. she would ignore cecil’s questions. in “Bedtime Story” (132), which im convinced is about cecil (but that’s another post), cecil says “he just wanted his mother to show interest in his curiosity.” and even if that story isn’t about him, it is a story his mother would tell him at night, one he never heard the end of. in the traffic section of “Pioneer Days” (143), cecil tells a story of a boy left behind, abandoned by his family, left with nothing but a snake. im also fairly certain this is about him (cecil loves to tell his own story without ever really telling it).

most revealing is what cecil says in “Ghost Stories” about his mother and her death. we learn their mother left when cecil was 14 (whatever that means), that cecil “thought that Mom would be back at any moment, like maybe she was away on business. Or out for a walk. Or just hiding.” He says, “And Mom flew away, when all other defenses failed her.” we learn she returned many years later, sick and old and “sorry”. we learn that she died soon after in a way that was “mundane”, that cecil was at work when it happened. we learn that cecil mourned her passing.

all of this paints a picture of a relationship that was strained, full of pain, downright abusive. and we see cecil, as he does so often, retrofit this pain to be something more palatable. she was hiding because she was proud. she didn’t speak to him because she was focused on something else. her defenses had failed her. she was struggling with alcoholism and mental illness. she was playing a game. she covered the mirrors because of pride. she came back! her death was inevitable. he misses her. he grieves her. he loved her. she might have loved him. he makes excuses for her because to do anything else would be to admit that he had experienced immense pain- to re-experience this immense pain. better to change the story.

now abby.

we don’t know nearly as much about abby as i wish we did. we know she “approach[es] life with a total practicality,” that she will save her pain for when she is in private (It Devours!). steve says, “With Abby around, I can't imagine a bad thing that could happen" (89). we know her relationship with cecil has been tumultuous, that she leaned on cecil and then on steve as she raised janice. in “Bedtime Story”, the sister in the story fought with her brother, telling him she hated him. “she would wrestle him to the ground and pull his hair.” after the boy is buried in the ground, the sister often visits the tree he becomes. she plants flowers, removes beatles from his bark, reads in his shade, plucks his fruit. she visits with a man and a child, visits with joy and with tears in turn. this sister, this abby mourns her brother and tries to protect him, fights with him, loves him.

and, again, in “Ghost Stories”, we learn that abby was “reserved and controlling”, that she dropped out of college when their mom left to raise cecil, that she blamed him (that cecil blamed her for not being their mom). we learn that abby was there when their mother died, that her death prompted cecil and abby to reconcile their differences. we learn that cecil and abby are both haunted by their family.

here’s where i diverge from what we really have.

we haven’t really heard from abby. everything we know of her we’ve learned from cecil and steve. but i have to imagine she resented their mother, that she hardly wanted to drop her plans for her future to raise her younger brother. i hardly have to imagine what it’s like to have that kind of responsibility thrust upon you when all you wanted was to live your own life. i have to imagine watching your mother die, your mother who just reentered your life after years of neglect, would hurt, would be complicated, would cut deep.

i imagine mr. and mrs. palmer bringing home their first born child, naming her “Abby”, naming her “father’s joy”, naming her after the pride that swelled in her father’s chest. i imagine mr. and mrs. palmer doing their best to raise their daughter in a town as hostile as night vale. i imagine them wanting a sibling for their daughter, someone to keep her company when they couldn’t. i imagine abby struggling with the idea for a moment, then embracing her brother wholeheartedly. i imagine mrs. palmer naming their son “Cecil”, naming him “blind”, naming him after the future she saw.

i imagine abby, her father’s joy, watching as he brought his son to “work in the pasture” with him (132). watching as her brother was injured by his curiosity, watching as her father avoided him in his anger. watching her mother hide from her brother. i imagine abby realizing she would have to be the one to patch him up, even while both parents were still home. i imagine abby hearing her father promise that he “would give [his] life for [his son]”, hearing him say her brother could never be a doctor because “he feared for the boy's future patients”. i imagine her wanting her father to offer his life for her, to invite her to the pasture. i imagine her becoming more reserved over time, realizing her brother needed more help and attention, willing to step into the background because she loved him, because she wanted to be strong for her family. i imagine her doing everything she could to live up to her name, to be someone worthy of the joy of her father.

i imagine abby, her father’s joy, watching him leave. maybe she knew why, maybe she was simply left. i imagine abby watching her mother slowly fall into paranoia and fear because of her brother, because of what she had seen. i imagine abby following her mother into the woods, placing flowers on the trunk of a tree she recognizes, trying to keep cecil distracted by playing a game with him. i imagine abby making sure cecil got to school, got food when their mother was hiding from him. i imagine abby finding out her mother too had left, left her with now full time responsibility for cecil. i imagine abby becoming controlling because she had to, because she had lost control over so many other aspects of her life. i imagine abby channeling what she could remember of her father, trying to be strong, reliable- ignoring that he had stopped being that very suddenly. i imagine abby yelling at a teenage cecil, telling herself that it was better than ignoring him like they had. i imagine abby finding out she was to become a mother, a mother without a father, a mother to a daughter who had more needs than she could handle on her own. i imagine abby finding a man who wanted to help, who could provide a stability cecil was unable to, for all his enthusiasm. i imagine abby, kicking her drunk brother she had raised out of her wedding, not willing to look him in the face for years without seeing her father, seeing her mother, seeing ghosts.

and i imagine abby listening to her brother describe their father on live radio. i imagine her cleaning up after the dinner steve made, hearing about a man with a “thin mouth… [and] threatening, beckoning eyes” (192). hearing about a man, their father, her father, going into the forest with a shovel, digging himself out of the ground. i wonder if she put the pieces together retroactively or if she’d had them all along. i imagine her waiting for the shower to cry. i imagine her hearing that cecil received a photograph of their father (201, 219). i wonder if she went to see it, if she was able to, if she even wanted to see it. i wonder if she listened in, checking that her brother was taking care of her daughter, only to hear that her father, the man who’s joy she had once been, was actually talking to cecil (224). i wonder if she wondered why he was reaching out to cecil and not her. i wonder if she called cecil after, or if she knew he meant it when he said, “I refuse to look into it further.” i wonder if she hopes that when cecil is made to remember their father, she gets to as well. i wonder how long she was her father’s joy, and how long she spent grieving whatever changed that.

most of all, i wonder if WE’RE EVER GONNA GET TO HEAR ABBY’S FUCKING VOICE!!

#sorry sorry bulk this got way longer than i was expecting #i TOLD you this was an intricate thought process and that u shouldn't ask for an explanation #im too tired to proofread this but this isn't even everything i wanted to say. i had to stop myself.#anyways i love abby and i absolutely held back from projecting further on her. i did my best to stick at least canon adjacent xo #wtnv

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