#FP things

[mybpdiary]

I sometimes think about how I remember every single moment I spent with my FPs. Their words, the weather when we were alone talking, the birds chirping as I was chatting with them at 4 in the morning, what I ate that day, etc.

And they may not even remember my name now

[imactuallyagiraffe]

But what if I see them together for the first time and it ruins my life? Then what?

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[worthless-mess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[ari-the-rockstar]

Bpd win !

I have a (now ex) friend with BPD and she was constantly romanticizing BPD. I love rebzyyx's songs but she takes them to another level, constantly obsessing and basically getting such bad euphoria from her new boyfriend. I don't want the same to happen with me and my girlfriend, and she was just...idk. She would regularly brag about her ED and SH and even posted on her IG story that she wanted her GW to be (tw) 45 kg which is MY weight, and she knows that.

She's also been super fucking unhelpful when I try and vent to her, but when she vents to me i'm expected to just yk understand everything. She literally said that she was going to commit unalive if her gf broke up with her, then she sent me a text at fucking 11 pm saying they broke up and did not reply till the next day ✌️anxietyyyy

Anyway I was just so sick of it, she pressured me into showing her my SH and showed me hers UNWARRANTED in broad daylight. She bragged about SHing in class and letting other people see. She bragged about not eating anything & made it intentionally incredibly obvious. I get that she wants validation but that is honestly not my problem and I am not going to stick around someone who is bad for me just because they are dealing with shit (bc i am dealing with shit too)

So yeah, after our latest argument I just snapped and blocked her. And I'm so glad I did ngl, she was just a terrible fucking person to be around and just so soul draining. The way she melted into whoever she was dating was terrible. I know that the whole FP relationship thing and obsession but goddammit I am exhausted of this shit and I am so fucking tired of obsessing over people it is about FUCKING time that I obsess over myself and make MYSELF my new FP

This post was really fucking rambly and stuff but I just needed a place to vent and dump, also I'm just honestly really happy (not euphoric, ik how euphoria feels but this feels like more of a stableish normal joy ?) that she's gone, seriously. No more constant "your partner my partner," no more "look at my SH look at my ED" no more "whos trauma is worse" bullshit

This is also a post to cut off the person who is bad for you, the test is: if they were gone from your life, would you be good or worse? Worse = cut them out that's bullshit

[youwillleaveme]

they will replace me so easily and never remember who i even was

[borderlinesadgirl]

They will never understand the sadness that you can physically feel in your chest

[clovelie]

i hate everyone and i wish i never made any connections to anyone

[commonzinnia]

oh, ouch. tossing that in the ‘evidence you’re going to leave me’ pile

[linicat]

[mirroringshards]

cute bpd things!!

paranoia

*small inconvenience* BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP

yeah im fine lol look at this meme :D

paranoia

mood depending on them

every text hurts or feels way too good

intrusive thought yeouch okay ouch thats another one yeOOUCH

the 50000+ articles on how youre abusive

paranoia

fp is bad for me but its ok i love them<3

"if i hurt someone its gonna be myself"

becoming completely obsessed with someone the moment they give you the slightest attention

never being able to cut anyone off ever. immediately go running back

cry because theyre talking to someone that IS NOT ME

oh my fp isnt here. okay. oh im dissociating okay i dont have any purpose to continue living without them okay my life literally revolves around them i want to die where are they are they safe i dont know what to do with myself

"just leave. everyone does anyways"

5 minutes later theyre the worst person ever

*looking for an identity* hmmm, where could it be?

dependent on fp like theyre a parental figure you never had

paranoia

[vilea777]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[shesmanic]

[buriedasylum]

I wish people could realise how hard their words are affecting me

[ponpasta]

don’t talk to me if u didn’t rp as flame princess as a kid

[nemosopenletters-blog]

I am so fucking alone

I wish I deserved to be cared about.