imactuallyagiraffe

[imactuallyagiraffe]

me when i lie is the funniest possible thing to say to someone

[imactuallyagiraffe]

an art/ poem i did :)

[imactuallyagiraffe]

computer open.

computer shpw me fortnite milfs.

[imactuallyagiraffe]

[imactuallyagiraffe]

[imactuallyagiraffe]

[imactuallyagiraffe]

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

[imactuallyagiraffe]

[imactuallyagiraffe]

ok i slept and ate food and now i will walk around

[imactuallyagiraffe]

people will do/say the kindest thing you’ve ever witnessed then be like Sorry if that’s weird :(

[imactuallyagiraffe]

actually it’s a 14 note post from 19 hours ago but thank you

you built your blanket fort. now sit in it.

[imactuallyagiraffe]

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

[imactuallyagiraffe]

[imactuallyagiraffe]

shout out to the literal fan fiction happening a few blocks from my apartment. there has been this halal meat market on the corner for like 19 years that the owner’s son just inherited and directly across the street this woman opened a kosher grocery store and since day one they’ve had this very friendly fake rivalry, playing it up for the customers, it’s always been super goofy and light hearted. so turns out last night she proposed in the middle of the afternoon rush in the meat market and he said YES and she’s moving her store to the adjacent empty storefront on the left so they can have a JOINT GROCERY STORE it is so fucking cute I wish them the happiest marriage ever

[imactuallyagiraffe]

Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[imactuallyagiraffe]

have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class

[imactuallyagiraffe]

my least favourite turn based strategy game is email