#External Light

[pi-slices]

External Light - 240316

[fukutomichi]

∙ Favorite Trope - Headbutt of Love ∙ Suite Française (2014) ∙ The Old Guard (2020) ∙ Pacific Rim (2013) ∙ Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) ∙ Interview with the Vampire (2024) ∙ The Rings of Power (2022) ∙ The Legend of Tarzan (2016) ∙ The Punisher (2017) ∙ Captain Marvel (2019) ∙ Fallout (2024) ∙ The Mummy (1999) ∙ Red, White & Royal Blue (2023) ∙ All the Light We Cannot See (2023) ∙ Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ∙ The English (2022) ∙ Strange Days (1995)

[arbitersart]

Had some thoughts on the structure of recent life series seasons and went into english major mode. Thought it was worth sharing here too!

[k8lynjoy]

"This ship is boring," and it's just a couple that loves, supports, trusts, and respects one another.

[bsptourist]

gm_liminal_commercial

created by RileySV

[sandu-zidian]

An Uncontainable Sacrifice

[l-in-the-light]

I love the Heart Pirates 🥰♥️. Would you write sth for the relationship Law and his crew (especially Bepo🐻)? Does Law love his crew just the same as he loves Cora?

Sure, this will be that post :D there isn't that many Hearts Pirates scenes in the manga, so it will probably end up being more Hearts appreciation post than strict analysis :) but I will do my best! Also I will use some neat quotes from the novel, in case you want to skip those they're all written in italics so it's easy to avoid them!

Also really sorry it took me forever to get to this ask!

Let's introduce our power rangers Sora-fanboying crew. That idea probably got born all the way back in the North Blue, when Law, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi were living together as children and sharing stories and talking into late night hours before falling asleep.

First of all, Hearts Pirates are strategists. All crewmates know their roles they have to play in a battle. There's always someone responsible for the Polar Tang, usually it's Hakugan (taking care of the ship so it doesn't get damaged is essential, because that ship is not only their means of travelling but also their home). There are people responsible for providing cover (Shachi and Penguin, Law's most trusted guys besides Bepo). There is a bodyguard - Jean Bart (or should I call him a tank? :D), making sure Law doesn't get hit when preparing powerful counterattacks.

Second of all, the biggest strength of Heart Pirates isn't their individual feats, fighting skills or not even their ace in the sleeve - the overpowered captain. Their true strength lies in their teamwork. They always work like a team, supporting each other and cooperating to help Law win his battles.

Hearts are apparently very strong in sea battles. Seems their usual strategy is to go for sinking the enemy's ship (very sly and effective). They're also good at fighting in the water, which is refreshing in comparison to many other crews depending solely on devil fruits powers.

Also RIP Polar Tang :(

Bepo has actually the most jobs to do, surprisingly. He's the navigator, he's the main attacker who often plays support for Law, but he also uses his mink/animal senses to track down enemies and instruct where each crewmate is needed! He's definitely very reliable.

“Sorry, I got nothing. If only I was a smarter polar bear… I’m no use, I should just disappear.”

“Hah hah! Just having strong legs doesn’t make you the best at peddling, Bepo. Man, you really are clumsy. You were so wobbly I thought for sure you were going to crash. It was scary just watching you!”

“Hm, you’re right. I wonder why I can’t ride a bike to save my life… I’ll just leave and figure my life out then.”

Despite Bepo's poor self-esteem, he's a really good fighter. Bepo's kung-fu (bear-fu? :D) fighting style is so unique too. Law often trusts him to "take care of things". Bepo has also one more powerful ace up his sleeve, his sulong form, though apparently he can't control it at all. It's only thanks to Chopper's rumble ball that Bepo was able to control his form for the very first time, without even a full moon visible in the sky.

Of course Bepo is also a very outstanding navigator. I mean, I dare you all to try to draw a better map with those huge paws! They're not exactly suited to hold a pen!

I do have to mention though that Law had a momentary pause before finding their current location ("around here") on this map, haha. He would never admit it though. He's so proud of his navigator! Also, keeping that map with him must have made Law happy, because he got reminded of Bepo even when he wasn't with him.

It's so tattered too and needed some tapes ;-;

Bepo is also, sort of, second in command after Law. He's responsible for new recruits who work directly under him. That gives us some sort of insight in how the hierarchy works in Hearts crew. There is Law whose word is absolute, then Bepo, then Shachi and Penguin, then the rest, then the fresh recruits.

It's not quite like in Strawhats where everyone is more or less equal in their positions. Even in the novel Law sometimes calls them friends and sometimes underlings, but in Punk Hazard and Egghead he instead calls them "nakama" (his crewmates, companions), so that apparently has changed at some point as Law grew up.

These two are my subordinates! I won’t let scum like you call them “things”!

I let out a large sigh. I have to keep it together. I have to protect my underlings. My friends.

Bepo, Penguin, Shachi. I told you to be my underlings, so I have a responsibility as your boss.

As much as Law treats his Heart Pirates as equals, his responsibility over them makes him take a higher position over them. But he doesn't interfere much in how they organize things around each other. Bepo took it on himself to be the second in command and Law never protested or questioned that. Basically their importance in the crew is based on the order in which they joined.

“Hold on, both of you ate three pieces and I only had two! You guys are new here, so you should be putting me first!” (Bepo complains while Law thinks to himself:) I should have just given them all equal portions to begin with instead of piling everything on a single plate; that’s what I think as I quietly shovel my fourth piece into my mouth.

Law himself is a bit sneaky, he might think he should make sure things are more equal around his crew, but at the end of the day he just doesn't do anything about it. They're free to do whatever they want. That's the type of captain he is.

When Wolf is out of the house, the four of us work on the farm, go fishing, clean, and do the laundry. During free time, each of us will focus on the things we want to do. I spend most of my time reading medical books and learning how to use my power. Bepo uses his time to study navigation. Penguin and Shachi simply have a desire to get stronger. But since their way of doing things didn’t allow them to improve, I had to borrow weapons from Wolf and teach them swordsmanship and gunnery. Seeing someone I'm teaching getting better at it is more rewarding than I thought it would be. Whenever I see how happy Penguin or Shachi are when they hit the bullseye, I can’t help but smile.

Law also trained them all by himself.

But back to Bepo. He's also a bit of a silly bear who needs to be looked after. He doesn't stand the heat very well, he's a bit of a slow thinker, he also panicks very easily and often calls out to Law to save him or stay with him. And that feeling is usually mutual, because Law also wants to take care of him:

“Don’t worry, Bepo. Even if you get injured and covered in blood, I’ll fix you up at the clinic.”

“Assuming I do get injured! Aye-aye!”

Hah hah. What a goof.

Bepo is a bit like a younger sibling to Law, he can be strong but also very clumsy and silly, and it for sure appeals to Law's protective side. He kinda stepped up (it was probably subconsciously) to be a temporary older brother figure for him in absence of Zepo. He was ready to throw away his Wano's raid plans just because Bepo had a stomachache and asked him to stay by his side. Bepo is also the only person Law has any sort of physical closeness with. Those two grew really close with each other.

But Bepo is dependable when it matters. He was also a guardian of Whale Forest back on Zou, so Law isn't the only one who recognizes that quality in Bepo.

“Law, I brought you some hot tea. It’s made with tea from the old man’s garden. He said it helps calm nerves.”

“Thank you, Bepo.”

“No problem. You’ve been having nightmares a lot lately.”

“I know. I must be worrying Penguin and Shachi too.”

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Bepo asked with an earnest look on his face.

“No; right now, I can’t get my own thoughts together, sorry.”

“It’s fine. But I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”

Law is close friends with Penguin and Shachi as well, but it seems it's Bepo he confides in most of the time. It might be because Bepo shows his concern and care very openly, making it especially hard for Law to refuse or dismiss it. And it's a good thing, because Law really needs someone openly caring and loving like Bepo in his life.

Bepo is clearly higher in command than Penguin and Shachi, and they both respect him despite the rocky beginning of their friendship:

“That's what you thought while they beat you?”

“Yes. I thought if I let them do it, maybe we could become friends.” Friends. It’s a word I hadn't heard in a long time. I no longer have any. They were all burned in a fire. (…) As my mind wanders, I begin to wonder why a polar bear is here, alone. Actually, if I think about it, he’s probably just like I had been before. I've become a little more interested in his situation.

Law's crew respects him and looks up to him, but they also voice out their own opinions and approvals or lack there of. They also occassionally allow themselves some really lewd comments, like in the picture above :D I bet you anything they would also call out Law on acting cute if they saw him with Chopper strapped to his head.

Damn, Penguin even looks like he's a bit jealous of Chopper's position. They fanboy Law so much despite being slightly older than him!

Shachi and Penguin are Law's intel and watchers. Penguin seems to be the smarter one out of the two of them, basing it on the rational comments he makes. But Shachi's skills in the water are also nothing to sneeze at! And as a bonus skill, Shachi apparently cuts the hair for others in the crew.

“Hey, you two.” I call Shachi and Penguin calmly. “You have nowhere to go, do you? I know you can't go back to your relatives' house either.”

“That is the only place we would never return to.”

“Alright; then you won't. Be my subordinates. And for now, you can live here.”

The four of us—myself, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi—have experienced immense loneliness in this world, and somehow managed to overcome despair.

I think it's possible Law recruited everyone in his crew in similar fashion (of course his first three friends remain special regardless). He seems to have easier time to relate to people who know how despair feels like and he wants to help them leave that feeling behind, to see things from a different perspective, to show them that no matter what, there are still probably other ways out, and if there aren't, he will make one happen.

Heart Pirates are also responsible for lesser tasks so that Law himself doesn't have to do it, like keeping an eye on Luffy.

Some Hearts, like Clione, Uni and Ikkaku even disagreed with the idea of the alliance. At first I thought Law told his crew that they don't have to get along with the Strawhats, because he respected that some might feel uncomfortable doing that, but nah, in the end it was just payback for Luffy not introducing Law to his own crew properly.

It's not the only time Law's crew complained to him so directly. When they were supposed to enter the New World, Law told them they need to wait and that they need to shut up and listen to him, because they should trust his plans. Despite his crew's big enthusiasm and competitive spirit, they were actually a bit scared to enter the New World, because when they saw beasts in the calm belt they definitely panicked a bit. So Law's decision was probably the right course of action.

Bepo also isn't afraid to scold his captain, when Law stares at yonko instead of escaping Marineford or when he chooses to drop down the waterfall in Wano. Law always seems to win each and every time tho. They also have no fear on calling him out for showing off ;)

Let's not forget that despite the fact that Heart Pirates can voice their complains openly, they were still kinda left in the dark and learned about the alliance from the newspaper. Ouchie, Law :D Nami might have a point when she said Law is just like Luffy.

They're very loyal, not only to Law, but to each other as well. They also share their duties on Polar Tang, like cleaning or maintaining the submarine, all together.

“You… no, the lot of you can really help others without asking anything in return, huh.” (Wolf about Law, Shachi, Penguin and Bepo)

Shachi, Penguin and Bepo always accompany Law wherever he goes.

His whole crew protects him whenever they can.

And of course they love him so much. Law might be a grumpy captain, but he for sure returns the love he received from them, in his own way. Let's not forget Bepo, Penguin and Shachi were there for him when he lost everyone again, after what happened to Cora-san. They basically supported each other in their biggest time of need.

Despite some of them protesting, they all get along with Strawhats in that alliance in the end :) Hearts are also very fun loving people, who definitely like to party :D

Law might be quite overprotective about his crew, but he does trust them enough to take care of themselves and pick their own battles in the Onigashima's raid. Hearts also worry for Law a lot and cheer him on and celebrate his won battles ❤

“Hmph. Well, alright then. It’s just that when you’re not feeling well, the rest of the lot are out of it too.” (Wolfe said this to Law, suggesting that whenever Law is feeling under the weather, it affects his friends)

I have to act strong. I have to act cool. If I stay gloomy in this situation, the other three will continue to live in fear. I can’t let that happen. (Law to himself)

At first Law didn't think much about his responsibility over his crew, he learned that along the way and thanks to Wolf's guidance. He decided to do everything he can so he can protect his friends and show them that they can rely on him, and they make sure to return the favour.

Now let's take a moment to celebrate Penguin and Shachi being little horny perverts ;)

In the end, I'm the only one scolded by Wolf. Bepo and the other two look at me like they are sorry, but I know that tomorrow things will be exactly the same. Since we’ve been living together, I’ve learned that these three will forget their transgressions in a day’s time.

This is probably another reason why Law chooses to ignore most of Hearts antics :D

I gotta say Shachi is certainly having hots for Penguin, basing it on this image ;) or at least he would be even more into him if he had, well, bigger tits.

Now we all know Law left his crew on Zou so that Doflamingo doesn't use them against him in the fight. But did you ever wonder why Law recruited Jean Bart into his crew? Saving a slave is one thing, but taking him into his crew is another. I think Law cares for his crew so much that he recruited someone strong and experienced as a captain who can take care of them in case Law can't (in time of need when he's missing in action, but also in case something went horribly wrong and they would be left without a captain). Recruiting Jean Bart was a strategic move and I believe it's to make sure someone takes care of the Heart Pirates in Law's absence.

“I definitely want to see my brother," Bepo said after a long silence. “It’s fun living here with everyone and all, but sometimes I think of him. I wonder if he’s doing okay, or if something happened to him. That’s why I’ve continued studying navigation since I got here. I’m terrible at it, but I can finally draw maps. So I definitely want to set out to find my brother some day, I think.”

This is one of the reasons why Heart Pirates ventured into Grand Line, besides Law's motivation to fullfill Cora-san's wish. He actually made sure to fullfill Bepo's wish before his very own one!

And finally, to answer your second question in the ask: does Law love his Heart Pirates as much as he loves Cora-san? I will allow Law to speak for himself, quoting the novel:

What was Cora-san for me? We had no blood relationship, and we didn't even know each other that long. Yet somehow, we were family. A love that could be felt without even putting it into words. I was wondering if I could love someone like that again. If I stay with Junk-ya and the bear, can I come to love them? Or will it continue to be a give and take relationship, as the old man says, where we just use each other?

After Wolf signed his name, we all followed suit. Seeing all our names next to each other on the paper, it’s strange. It is almost like we were a family.

Actually, we all looked happy, myself included. This place is definitely irreplaceable to me, I realized once again.

I can’t keep looking backwards; I have to move forward. Together with the happiness of being with friends, no matter how much I waver.

I found some salted fish that was on sale, so I bought it. In my head popped the pleasantly surprised faces of Bepo and the old man, and the expressions I imagined soon became my own.

Two months have flown by since the five of us started this life together. Eating meals, bathing, thinking of games to play, and bullshitting together under the same roof. It's the type of life I had never experienced until now.

But I have friends now—I have people who can allow me to forget the pain and the rage by distracting me with stupid things. That’s all I need.

And in case you wonder how did Law ask them to become a pirate crew together, here you go:

“I'll be leaving the island in a week. What do you want to do?” I ask them the question, trying to stay as natural as possible. “I will not force you to do anything. You can very well continue to lead the same life, to eat with the old man by exchanging jokes and get on with your job in town. Only, if… if you ever… wanted to come, then… that… that would help me a lot.”

(and after they all enthusiasthically agree:)

“Alright, I know I can count on you. That's all I'm saying.”

And from that moment on, Law gives them a name: Heart Pirates. Because they're a crew that belongs to Law, but also to Cora-san, and that's the meaning behind the name. If Cora-san lived, Hearts would be *his* crew as well. In some alternative reality, they could all be happy together sailing the seas.

So I guess, my final answer is: Law loves them because he found friends in them, his new family, and he wished he could share this happiness with Cora-san as well. I doubt there are many people out there who would get that privileage! Heart Pirates are definitely irreplaceable to him.

[noirrelite]

The many ways I've drawn Sierra's eyes since Feb 2022, in rough chronological order (oldest to newest)

[theonekierce]

Insensibly I drew back as the candle swam into our field of vision: it had not traversed many inches when a hand was clapped firmly but silently across my mouth. I could forgive Raffles for that, at any rate! In another breath I should have cried aloud: for the girl with the candle, the girl in her ball-dress, at dead of night, the girl with the letter for the post, was the last girl on God's wide earth whom I should have chosen thus to encounter— -Out of Paradise

[starlightshadowsworld]

Eddie: internally panicking while speaking to Steve in the upside down, thinking:

Why is he staring at my mouth??? Do I have something in my teeth? Does he wanna kiss me?!

... Wait what?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!

Why would King Steve, well he's not so much King anymore... Henderson really was right about him. But that doesn't mean he'd wanna kiss me, not that I would be opposed I mean look at him but why is he looking at my mouth that intensely!

Steve: hard of hearing, left his hearing aids on the boat and is just squinting at Eddie's mouth trying his best to lipread.

Unaware to all of this.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I have mixed feelings about Wally possibly dying in Lights Out- cause like he's my absolute favorite, my baby!!!! ... but then i also think that him dying after watching over everyone as they slept is just *chefs kiss* He's finally getting rest!!! lmao

Also i wanna see Barnaby go apeshit hehe

oh i missed this ask! hm. this is funny

[ilynpilled]

I feel like as the resident dishonor/honor guy enjoyer I have to speak on honor as a construct and how it seems to operate in asoiaf in my eyes. I will be stating the obvious here imo but: violence IS inherent to it. Be it directly or through the enablement of it. “Honor”, as a feudalistic moral construct, revolves around the reinforcement of a status quo. It is a moral construct that is embedded into a feudalistic structure, one that is inherently violent. It can be deeply flawed and destructive as a result of deeply rooted systemic issues. Being “honorable” is very complicated because, again, it does not exist based on a very sensible moral framework. It ends up contradicting itself because the way society is structured in Westeros.

Almost nothing embodies this more clearly than the KG. They are supposed to be the paragons of honor: an unsoiled white cloak.

Vows are social contracts this society is built on. This is why Jaime is very restricted in a lot of ways in his world by his label. Breaking one of the most important contracts (one that happens to be key in reinforcing a feudalistic structure: it places the king’s will above every single other moral or ethical code) makes it so he is not believed or trusted and he is unable to operate properly within their society in a lot of circumstances, as we witness in his chapters. It is honorable to protect the weak and the innocent, but it is honorable to protect your king in all circumstances and reinforce a status quo. To obey your family and play your societal role. To obey laws, even if they are unjust. To keep your word, to be honest. Loyalty to a tyrant has to be inherently more honorable (especially in certain positions) to maintain this status quo, even though it contradicts other oaths and we know it is inherently immoral. Balancing values is the most interesting aspect of characters dealing with ‘honor’ and morality. Feudalism is what makes the honor system collapse. Honor itself can be a more vague concept, “the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right”, but the way it is defined and how it operates within this society is so fucked. The KG appear in the weirwood dream (mirroring the imagery of The Others, conflating the honorable white cloak with snow and cold and death.) “You swore to keep your king safe” “and the children as well.” Yeah, the innocent children of kingslanding as well, that would have burned to ash. It is honorable to save your king, to protect the weak, to save the children, to save the innocents of KG, to obey your father. He tells this to them in the dream, he explains his reasoning for killing Aerys, but they do not budge. That is what Jaime fears the most, the complete collapse of everything that holds meaning to him, heroism becoming undefinable with these conflicting moral codes, which is likely another huge part of him keeping it a secret. It is something he feels powerless against. The way things are prioritized is wrong. Morality becomes skewed. In Jaime’s mind the enemy and primary source of doom is this nonsensical moral construct that contradicts itself represented by institutions that make no sense. It is what makes his symbolic fire go out. His moral code conflicts with this society’s code of ethics, which eventually leads him to cynically accept amorality. It is disillusionment that tears the idea of heroism and being “honorable” apart and leads to moral nihilism.

Another aspect of the honor code and its violence is the fact that it places more value to individuals based on class. It is dependent on class and a flawed social structure. This is despite the fact that vows of knighthood call for the protection of those that are too weak to protect themselves: the underprivileged. Jaime keeps having this epiphany of an inherent equality in death that seems to contradict the way society is structured. Aerys’ life is worth inherently more according to the honor code than Rhaella’s, than the lives of thousands of innocents, than Jaime’s. Yet, a lowborn hand, no one, seems to die harder than Aerys does (and nobody cares). A crown is worth nothing when crows feast on victors and vanquished alike, and the rightful heir himself. We are all equal in death, so the text is indicating that something is not right here.

When it comes to characters and their relationship with honor the important through-line is examining whether they are being “honorable” in the abstract sense, if they base their actions around empathy and a sense of actual justice, or if they are abiding by made up flawed constructs. Being viewed as honorable by this society does not make you a good person. In fact, in order for you to abide by the honor code you would likely have to turn into an amoral individual. For example, if you try to keep the cloak pure white you will metaphorically soil it. Like every one of Aerys’s kingsguard did. To keep their oath to the king, they broke vows to protect innocents and protect women. They should lose their honor by a lot of definitions, but that would mean the status quo collapses. Jaime’s knighting for this reason is very much like a boy being sacrificed at an altar. It is not just about drawing a parallel between young girls and boys being sentenced to bloody doom by violent constructs created for their gender.

“Blood is the seal of our devotion.” He bleeds on his plain white tunic. It was never “pure white”, it was always all tainted in blood. It is inherently violent. You can argue that is when “the boy died.”

Very rigid and hypocritical honor codes built for feudalism lack nuance and lead to amorality. I think George aims to address, interrogate, deconstruct, and then reconstruct honor, as with most other key concepts present in fantasy. Honor can be redefined. Examples like “No chance, and no choice”, among many others, are at the root of that reconstruction. Even then, the reconstruction does not conflate it with pacifism necessarily. For example, Chelsted did the ‘honorable’ thing, in the abstract moral sense, of quitting his job and not supporting a tyrant anymore, but that act achieved nothing in preventing the wildfire plot. Same with essentially everyone important at court abandoning the situation that is Aerys, turning away from a gaping wound and not addressing it before it was too late. Jaime had to soil the ‘white cloak’ and disrupt the status quo and lose his “honor” within those terms by murdering his king and his pyromancers as a kingsguard and actually save half a million lives. It was not glorious, nor was it anything like the songs, and the city is still doomed because there is no way to get that festering corruption out of there at this point, metaphorical of the greater problem with KG, but it was heroism, a choice with meaning, and a form of triumph, even if the consequences break Jaime down the line. He gets no answer to the question of what it means to be a knight and a man of honor if society’s version of it is so skewed. Then, Jaime and the readers get an answer in the form of Brienne: “I dreamed of you.”

[booksandchainmail]

Hand on the chisel, or Song Ren's rigid, brittle self-control

From Pale Lights book 2

Chapter 2:

Song’s lips thinned, but she held her tongue. You are stone shaped by the chisel of life, she recited. Will it be your hand wielding the tool, or theirs? If she gave her anger to others, she relinquished the chisel – and that was unacceptable.

Chapter 8:

It was one thing to hold a member of her cabal, another to beat them. That would not be tolerated. Hand on the chisel, Song reminded herself, but wrenched open the door harder than necessary.

Chapter 11:

She grit her teeth. To say this was to insult their very contract, since she had asked to – Song smoothed out the thought, the rising anger. He did it, she knew, to get a rise out of her. But she would not fall for it this time. Song had prepared herself, meditated on the matter. Her hand would remain on the chisel.

Chapter 13:

Song could see them creeping across the checkered, cracked floor of the entrance hall. The god was everywhere, blind hands tugging and pulling at the insides of Scholomance like a child at play – moving this and that, just itching to smash it all onto something that would scream. Hand on the chisel, she reminded herself. Fear would do her no good in this place. Fear never helped anywhere.

Chapter 16:

Song, instead, calmly rose and faced as much as the wall as she could. She blinked, once, and breathed out. The sheer number of details was… Hand on the chisel, the Tianxi reminded herself.

Chapter 16:

“Trade on your own time,” Colonel Cao told the students. “We move on.” Song almost flinched. Hand on the chisel.

Chapter 18:

It smelled burnt. Swallowing thickly, Song looked down and saw that in her fugue she had left the chicken unattended too long. The top was still pink, but when she flipped the cuts she saw they had charred stripes. The Tianxi swallowed. If she cut them out perhaps it wouldn’t show? No, they’ll still see I cut out parts. Perhaps if she sliced every piece in two, then – no, idiot, they would notice the quantity was too small. One of them would ask. They would know. Hands shaking, tearing up like a fucking child, Song did the only rational thing she could: she put the pot off the fire, went outside with a shovel and dug a hole in a corner of the garden. She emptied the burnt chicken into it – she’d have to buy another to replace it from her own funds – and filled the hole. She had to hurry, they could be back anytime now. Song opened the windows to get rid of the smell and cleaned the iron pot before doing the recipe properly this time. When her cabal began arriving one after the other, Song was ready. She welcomed them with a smile and a meal and her hand remained on the chisel as they all sat together and ate. Like a proper brigade, led by a proper captain.

Chapter 21:

And he was right, she realized. It would be their word against his, and though she was confident they would come out ahead in the hearing the incident would be added to her record. She had shot a watchman from behind. Every superior officer she could ever have would know she had crippled someone wearing the black. Who would trust her after that? Who would let her stand behind them? Song had already seen how bad it would be, fighting against the tide, and now mere minutes out of that place she was somehow making it all worse. She had learned nothing, made all that pain and grief pointless. Crack. “-of your life,” the man laughed. “You’re fucked, brat, you-” Her hand slipped. It was not the blow of a duelist or a soldier: her blade hacked into the man’s face like a butcher knife. “You trash,” she snarled, ripping her blade out and hacking down again. “You relic, you-” Song screamed and struck again. And again, and again and again. He had cornered her, ended her career. Only when her arm hurt and her breath was ragged did the silver-eyed girl fall to her knees, choking out a sob, fingers closed around the chisel she had used to make a ruin of the watchman.

[snowshinobi]

On the flipside, I don't think Kaveh understands Alhaitham's angst at all. Alhaitham emotionally shuts off for days, responding to Kaveh's repeated "hey are you alright?"s with a curt nod. Kaveh gets increasingly agitated bc it is Not Normal for Alhaitham to be this quiet. Eventually he gently pulls Alhaitham down to sit with him and stares into his eyes, "hey. I love you, ok? You can tell me if something's wrong. Or if you need anything. I love you, Alhaitham. Can I give you a hug?" And Alhaitham doesn't care either way (he feels pretty numb at the moment) but accepts the hug. Feels Kaveh's grip tighten and then relax as Kaveh sighs. And somehow that's what helps? This desperate, ineffective comfort? It's sweet. Maybe not so ineffective after all.

[raayllum]

Please. I'll do anything to change this. / What choice did I have? You pushed me to this, sister.

[loassbarbie]