#she can grapple with the concept of immortality and shit like that

[lesbian-cowpoke]

An arkham/Spiderman style Dazzler game would go incredibly hard I believe

Her movement mechanics would be peak. You could have her be more long range with laser shots of you could get up close and dazzle enemies. I think managing the sound she absorbs could be a really interesting mechanic. I've got no idea what the story would be I'm just thinking purely mechanically playing a game as Dazzler would be so cool

[fagcrisis]

i read another bad YA book: when will my suffering end

my dear friend and long time training partner viki is obsessed with the arc of a scythe series by neal shusterman, and she forced me, literally at sword-point to read the first book. it seems that my fate is to forever read bad books about teenagers where nothing really happens

scythe takes place in a world where humanity has defeated death. nanotechnology allows people to stay young forever, or old forever if they so choose, and revives people from every kind of death if their corpse is recoverable. overpopulation becomes a problem though, as humanity cannot leave the planet, and so a special group of people called the Scythes are tasked with "collecting" people to keep the number of people down. scythe faraday chooses two teenagers, citra and rowan to be his apprentices, however there is a deadly challenge awaiting the two at the end of their apprenticeship. only one of them can become a scythe, and their first task will be to collect their fellow apprentice

*i read this book in hungarian so im translating a couple of things on the fly, if i mess anything up dont tell me i doubt any of you care about this book that much

THE WORLDBUILDING is bad. the initial concept is actually fascinating i can never get enough of a post scarcity society, and the way people grapple with a utopia. as a fan of ursula k le guin i think in many cases a real utopia and its ramifications can be a lot more interesting than a dystopic world, but you could have gone the giver route with this and revealed the rot at the core of a world pretending to be perfect.

well, scythe does absolutely none of that. despite the fact that everybody is LITERALLY IMMORTAL, people still work, mostly jobs they dont even like. children go to school and are raised by their birth parents, a man and a woman. gay people exist and so do sentient robots? but neither concepts really get explored deeper than a throwaway mention, and a joke. Now, i think it could be really interesting to explore a society thoroughly frozen in a 21st century late capitalistic state, but scythe does not do that. the book takes place hundreds, possibly even thousands of years into the future and Nothing Has Changed.

I have some lore based gripes with the book, the way the scythes and their reason for existing is just not explained at all, the offhanded genocide mention, and all that but in all fairness im yet to read the second book (i will have to viki is making me) so maybe they explain all of this then.

What really does bother me though, is why do death like this? People kill themselves for fun in the world of scythe, why not just let them die? scythes are explicitly forbidden from killing people who ask them to do so. this is a world where individiual choice has been completely taken away from people, except for a select group of a few hundred who have the absolute power of gods, and cannot even be controlled by the benevolent god-king-mother AI, the thunderhead. why not use the nanobots in peoples bodies to choose who lives or dies? why not limit the number of resurrections somebody can have? why let the scythes choose who they kill and how they kill them? why let them grant immunity to people?

I think much of this book is politically uninteresting and borderline stupid at points, especially the thunderhead. the way its completely unquestioned and thought to be benevolent and perfect above all else is just absolutely crazy, but lets run with it and say it does absolutely know what is best for humanity. why let people do the killing? maybe the second book will pull some insane twist on me that explains everything but i highly doubt it will

one note about the worldbuilding that annoyed me but isnt really significant: shit is just europe and america and whatnot with stupid fucking names. lazy as hell. if u just wanna keep shit as it is, do that. dont call things EuroScand or whatever. Also the racial dynamics are so bad in such an uninteresting way, like the book literally goes "race doesnt exist anymore everyone is like suuuper mixed except for this black dude who is evil and this mystical asian man. but everyone else. super racially ambigous"

THE CHARACTERS are bad also. rowan is so completely uninteresting i skimmed his chapters for lines where anybody else spoke, citra has a tiny bit more depth but not by a lot. their romance just so completely does not work, and listen. i am ready to accept that they were into dying for eachother after hanging out for like a month and kissing one time. i love unreasonable unstoppable romance. they had NO chemistry. they hated each other when they first met, for no reason at all, and then suddenly they were in love. barely spoken to each other for 2 months and then rowan is making a vow to die for her.

scythe faraday and scythe curie are much more interesting people, but scythe faraday goes away for 2/3rds of the book and curie isnt allowed to be anything interesting before citra basically ditches her. the fact they were involved doesnt come out of nowhere, but i would have appreciated a little more on that because it was way more interesting.... why arent the scythes allowed to date each other anyways. seems like an incredibly stupid rule. theyre immortal. theyre not jedi. yet another nonsensical worldbuilding detail

goddard and his crew were one dimensional and boring, it would have been great and interesting if he was actually charming and charismattic and succeeded in winning rowan over, but instead of that happening the book tells you that he is charming and charismatic while only shows him being awful and unpleasant. volta was kind of fun and interesting but his suicide didnt hit hard enough due to the fact that he and rowans friendship barely existed, neal shusterman is bad at writing character relationships jesus christ

THE PLOT AND WRITING were really fucking bad. virtually nothing happens for the majority of this book. citra fleeing the scytheguard should have taken up way more time than it did, as it was one of the only fun and engaging parts of the book. instead of that we get endless scenes of rowan seeing goddard be evil, citra walking around doing nothing and generally things not happening. way more time spent on training sequences than was strictly neccesary, and too little time spent on explaining anything that was happening or characters spending time together.

The chapters didnt flow extremely well, the pov switches were annoying and would happen multiple times on one pages, sometimes in the same paragraph. too many important worldbuilding details were glossed over in favour of scenes of rowans man pain or just kind of random irrelevant bullshit. there were a ton of characters who didnt really end up mattering, because the book was so badly spaced out. i would have loved spending a bit more time with scythe mandela for example who ended up mattering actually a ton for the final couple chapters, but no because rowan needs to be tortured again or something!

Every plot complication and twist was resolved instantly, leaving you no space to try and figure it out for yourself, no tension or anything. the ones that werent were so easy to figure out that it also left you with no tension. scythe faraday dead? no he isnt! citra is cornered by a scythe on the bullet train? dont worry, she has help from a random guy. even the ending was like this. will rowan die because citra was chosen to become a scythe instead of him? dont worry, she gives him immunity and this has no consequences for her whatsoever. they were talking about putting her in forever jail just 5 chapters ago, but its fine she is allowed to become a full fledged scythe. will they at least jail rowan until his immunity is up? dont worry, he is batman now and hes fled due to his perfect skills in everything he is so sexy you guys

VERDICT: dont read this book its bad. really bad. i will be back with the second one though, because viki is making me

@chevengurian ik u enjoy my sufferings here u go

[tabletopjourneys]

Session 39 Notes

(Skipping ahead so last session notes are in time for a quick read before next session) The Silver Scale Pack split up: While group A confronts The Superb Owl one last time, group B falls for a cryptid and gets teleported to the other side of Bouldergap from their recon mission. Plus: Shopping. Again. lol.

@gher-bear​ @aradow​ @telurin​ @epimetala

On this day The Silver Scale Pack's split missions get critical. Diem and Ixayl'anu have to battle it out with the The Superb Owl and her mob of charmed Bouldergap citizens.

Ultimately they win by deceit and successfully chase The Superb Owl off, back to The Iron Heights (mountains) without any loss of life or nonconsensual fey abductions.

The Bouldergap citizens are pretty grateful once the distance shakes off the last vestiges of charm and begin getting back to their lives, cleaning up the mess of a spontaneous tournament, and finding/checking on loved ones lost in the crowd and/or forgotten in their bespelled states.

In other words, nobody we know of is angry at us for chasing off the pretty owl. They're all pretty aware it was a spell that made them love and admire her so much.

Meanwhile, group B meet one of the near-mythical cryptids called a ropen up close. This one seems to be super ancient and magically potent with decorative colorful jewelry and tattoos that commonly get mistaken for "colorful plumage" in the rare (and doubted) accounts of sightings.

When first attempting to communicate the ropen (accidentally?) deals 3 psychic damage to the safety-bubbled forms of Rana and Fee. It sounds like the angels from Supernatural. Once it corrects this, it's voice still holds tangible power and sounds like an ancient being of immense power speaking to children.

It tells them both they are not safe here and that they have the situation contained and are handling it. Then puts them both to sleep and sends them safely to the other side of Bouldergap out into a field where they wake up about an hour later.

Just in time to hear Diem communicate through the stone that the owl has been handled.

The pack reunites and reports everything to Lawmaster Eldeth. They agree to gather in the morning for another trip out to Stoneroost with the help of two guards.

Their free night until then is spent shopping for gems and supplies. Afterward, Rana and Fee play a training game with their ratties and chill in the Temple of V'kandis until they wake there in the morning and procure another helper for the trip out in the form of a dwarven priestess who offers her healing skills in exchange for being able to check in on her family in Stoneroost.

Ixayl'anu spent the night in the stables with her newly resummoned elk. Diem went off to find and presumably spent the night with the other disguise-loving storyteller The Superb Owl had suggested they have a nice chat with.

(Read More)

(At Least Group A is Safely in Town…Right?)

The Superb Owl: Capture them! (80 ft reach command)

Initiative order starts with Ixayl’anu and then Diem; Ixayl’anu goes first and casts moonbeam on the Superb Owl (it really is a fey owl; though a typo does turn her into the super bowl instead. Just a thought.). Ixayl’anu then runs her 30ft south along the fence.

Diem has to run to catch up as Ixayl’anu shoots past them. “Fly, Ixayl’anu!”. They cast fly on them both as soon as they manage to catch up to her in about 30ft.

5 villagers jump the fence to try and grab us.

One guy across fence to her right manages to grab Ixayl’anu and yank her a little off balance and out of the reach of the guy coming straight at her who’d jumped the southern fence to follow the owl’s orders.

Two guys of three more guys who also jumped the southern fence manage to grab me - one to each arm.

The Superb Owl not only takes half damage from a save (8dmg) by staring her turn in moonbeam, she actually pretends she created the moonbeam as an awe-inspiring spotlight for attention. She spreads her wings and flies straight up in it, showboating a little, and says, in an enunciating announcer voice: Bring them to me and I will deal with the heretics!

Practically everyone near the owl by the northern gate of the square arena and out in an oval of about 40 ft east and west is gazing in star-struck admiration at the owl.

Ixayl’anu struggles to get loose and succeeds her strength check, gets loose and flies 30 ft up and 30 ft east.

Diem uses fey presence to go all Galadriel-style-you-would-have-a-dark-queen visage and voice to inspire fear (16 wis check): Not me you fools!

This works on four out of five of the guys around them, but the one who resists just happens to be one of the guys holding on to them, who actually tightens his grip in half panic as Diem tries to fly away with him still attached (contested strength check failed). They only succeed in lifting him a few feet off the ground.

Diem to Ixayl’anu: Get out of here, go get the others!

A new guy enters the area from the south gate and helps the first pull me back down to the ground as those other four continue to cower a few feet back from me.

The owl takes 4 dmg starting in moonbeam again and doesn’t care, the barely-felt pain is worth the extra awe-inspiring beauty of her spotlight. She is hovering there at about the same height as Ixayl’anu (about 30ft off the ground): Keep that one contained, I will get the flying one!

She’s sad to leave her moonbeam, but flies after Ixayl’anu and misses both attacks. Screams: Look at me! (tries to charm Ixayl’anu and fails)

Ixayl’anu screams right back at her and lands all 3 attacks plus a level 2 smite: 45 total damage. “Never trust owls!”

The Superb Owl screeches again.

Diem goes completely limp and in the owl’s voice says: I have possessed this one, you can let it go. (23 deception)

Everyone buys it and lets Diem go. They immediately zoom 30 ft up and 30 ft toward Ixayl’anu, flying with her between me and the owl.

Guys who let them go realizing their mistake: Oh shit!

(3D chess for everyone now!)

The Northern portion of the crowd begins surging toward us as well, both guys who had Diem are running after them even though they’re 30 ft up.

Korial, the feathered dragonborn from one of Ixayl’anu’s home islands (who had been in charge of and enlisted in the fighting competition) had come out at some point, disappeared in his tent again, and is now coming out, handing off nets to capable-looking people nearby so he can take a shot with his bow at Ixayl’anu. He hits her for 10 dmg

The Superb Owl screams in Ixayl’anu’s face again and tries to grab at her for a grapple. 18 slashing damage and a strength check of 20 vs 21. Ixayl’anu pulls herself away from the grapple at the last minute, which is ruled one reason why the claws hurt so much - made the wound worse pulling out of the grasp.

Ixayl’anu’s next attack misses, but her 2nd does 15dmg plus another smite for 9 more dmg (total 24dmg).

Diem still doesn’t want to hurt the owl if they can avoid it, it’s chaotic good, but just doesn’t understand the concept and finality of death for mortals or why consent is important for the little honor guard it’s trying to create. They are out of big spells, but still have a lightning bolt in their ring if it comes down to it. However, the people also need to know this fey is willing to kill them for the sake of convenience anyway. It’s not outright evil, but inhuman enough it will kill them as easy as praise them.

As such, totally trying to create some doubts and tarnish the awe, show a little truth in a dramatic way, Diem moves their hands in front of their face as if they’re casting a spell, conveniently blocking anyone able to see their face from seeing their mouth move as they mimic The Superb Owl’s voice again, as loud as they can supervillain style and say: I will kill anyone who fails me! (21 deception).

A good amount of people around the South fence pause a little bit at this, including the guys who let them go during the last deception.

After that, Diem shoots Northwest and up 60ft to get above and behind The Superb Owl without flying close enough on the way to cause an attack of opportunity (essentially 20ft behind the owl to the northwest and 30ft up for a total of 60ft above ground and away from Korial’s bow).

They cast an eldritch blast but their heart still really isn’t in killing this pretty fey creature yet (Ixayl’anu is definitely not holding back for sure). Their first blast of crackling iridescent magic misses entirely as a result, and the other is held back too much, doing only 3dmg.

The guys who got nets from Korial are now close enough to throw them at Ixayl’anu, but both nets go wide without accidentally ensnaring any of the people under her instead.

Korial shoots at Ixayl’anu again, but misses.

The Superb Owl: Get more archers! Stop using the nets!

She disengages from Ixie and flies a bigger circle away. She goes up to about 80ft off the ground and take a commanding view of the whole area.

Ixayl’anu has seen birds of prey do this maneuver - she’s getting height so she can do a dive at Ixayl’anu (from 50ft above her now/20ft higher up than Diem is). Diem is clueless what this means for Ixayl’anu.

Ixayl’anu drops moonbeam and downs a potion (16 healing) on her way to get behind the owl and in front of me, close enough she and Diem both get the advantages of the bless she casts in moonbeam’s place (add a d4 to any attack roll or saving throw for a minute - 10 rounds).

Diem casts message on The Superb Owl, speaking directly in her head in sylvan, using their patron’s voice: Harm my pets and mark my words you will have an archfey hounding your immortality, making sure no one anywhere ever even thinks about worshipping you ever again (Intimidation check of 26).

The Superb Owl’s wingbeat pauses and she dips down a couple of feet in reaction. She’s still for the moment.

Diem yells out as loud as they can, in part for the Northside audience this time (and in their own voice): This is your last chance, do this the right way, no one’s taken by force and no one dies if they refuse!

24 performance for the crowd gets another big circle near enough to hear who are beginning to doubt. This includes Korial who has run forward enough he heard Diem’s yell. He also pauses and shakes his head a little bit.

The owl takes a good look around at the chaos and doubters, she screams an angry and hurt sound: None of you were really worth it anyway!

She disengages, picks up speed by dropping about 30 ft (still about 50ft from the ground though) and books it back toward the iron heights.

Ixayl’anu misty steps after her and crackles lightning effects, swiping at the air in the Superb Owl’s direction, making noises to reinforce driving her away and generally trying to be intimidating “You better run!” style. She rolls an 11 for intimidation. She can’t see the owl’s face for obvious reasons, but feels like she did a good job.

(The “Victory Speech” No One Asked For)

Diem flies lower toward the ground and makes themself look like an autumn-and-firey-sun themed archfey with a slightly higher voice than their patron’s to address the people around then. Their impulsive goal here is mainly to check on the hostility levels of the crowd while also trying to make sure a the presence of an archfey makes it into some stories. Just in case any of those get back to The Superb Owl in the future. They don’t use their own patron’s looks because they don’t know how their patron would feel getting that credit. They do go for a fiery-autumn look thinking this heavily V’kandis sun god religious area might attribute the deed in story to V’kandis instead, or an archfey follower (vague spur-of-the-moment possibilities for how this story gets retold over the years lol). Their performance is only a 16 for this though and it’s ruled that most people are simply distracted by the charm suddenly getting dispelled, becoming worried about loved ones and children/parents, etc. no longer in sight. Either way, everyone clearly knows what happened now (insofar as being charmed goes). Diem finished the story with what the owl had been planning, that it wasn’t just harmless (to hopefully discourage later retellings from making the owl out to be something to be tolerated the next time it comes around. Like no, it was definitely planning to take people against their will and seriously considering killing anyone merely for refusing to go with it. As they see the mood of the whole crowd shifting toward deflated sadness and seriousness, they end with what they hope is an inspiring message to find their loved ones and celebrate the return of their freedom. Diem knows it’s not their best work for sure, but they think it went over reasonably well for people being understandably distracted by suddenly remembering all the things and people and tasks the owl made them forget. They do notice Korial is standing there just listening and watching, head tilted after the hold on him was also dispelled.

At the end, Diem then pretends, for the benefit of whomever might still be watching, to be released by the mysterious autumn-fire entity who’d possessed them, their own visage fading back in as they get their bearings and look up at Ixayl’anu. They pull out their sending stone and say into it: Owl taken care of, we’re on our way to you guys in Stoneroost, let us know if we shouldn’t.

(Rana and Fee are falling!)

Fee makes a perception or investigation of 23 right before they start falling, they both hear a crack of thunder even though the sky isn’t stormy. Arcana check of 2 - Fee thinks it’s thunderbird thunder, there might be a thunderbird nearby she just doesn’t know.

Rana was showboating a little like “look at my mountains!” before she fell.

They feel cocooned in this nice little bubble of antigravity and have a slow descent that stops right above the trees like levitating above the treeline.

The ropen are following their descent with intent. 30-40 ft away still, it has embellishment on it - what Rana assumed was a natural coloration, it’s a paint/tattoo and jewelry situation.

These details make no difference to Fee.

Rana has an arm extended toward Fee about to cast a polymorph, but then they’re slowing down to a stop. “Fee are you okay?”

“Yeah, you?” Fee was also reaching for her hand and they manage to grasp hands.

When they stop, Fee tries to see if she can swim in the air, but she doesn’t move.

Rana: were you hit?

Fee: No you?

Rana: No

Fee: Can you become an owl again?

Rana: No...well, yes, but not the same way and I don’t know what knocked me out of owl to begin with (Rana is watching the Ropen as they talk - it’s taking its sweet time to get to them like a turkey vulture rather than any bird of prey about to swoop down and snatch you motions.

Fee looks for the ground through the trees and asks something I missed.

Rana perceives 18 trying to see if there are any other ropen around. 100 ft or so and getting closer (overiding the shorter distance earlier). She casts speak with animals and calls out: “Hello!?” (holds her hands out in peaceful gesture, rats freaking out with “What the fuck is happening?!” type chatter in her ears now).

Rana and Fee must make a con save, both fail (7 and 9, respectively). Both begin to hear ringing sounds in their ears - it’s SPN angel speak type noise. It crescendos to the point it hurts, all in their head, past the point of unbearable for a half second before it cuts out and they take 3 psychic dmg.

The ropen is close enough to hover in front of them after that and they both hear an intense psychic voice “This is not a safe place to be so I am going to bring you back to the nearest settlement - you should not be here until we handle it.”

Rana: We can’t go back, we’re here to figure out what’s going on.

Ropen: We’re taking care of it, their invisible bubbles of levitation start moving both Rana and Fee back the way they came.

Rana makes one persuasion check of 6 before the ropen puts them both to sleep. The whole time the ropen made them feel like they were being talked to as a child by an ancient, one that radiates strong magic.

(The zone you tried to access is down for maintenance; have a portal, take a nap)

Both Fee and Rana wake up feeling like it was really brief, but find themselves in a field outside Bouldergap. (Tournament was southwest of Bouldergap, they wake up northeast of Bouldergap - slightly farther away from town, and directly North of the road in.

Wisdom saving throws: 13 Rana, 20 Fee; Rana wakes up without memory of why she’s even here, the last she remembers she was an owl flying to Stoneroost. She tries to point at the empty air like the ropen is still there though.

Rana: Look, look that’s the thing I saw!

Fee: Yeah we both saw it…?

Rana: Yeah it’s right there! (the air is obviously empty though)

Fee: Uuuhhhhh…

Rana: Wait a minute, why are we back here? (She checks on the rats, who she can no longer understand, but that’s okay because she doesn’t remember casting that spell anyway.)

Fee: Oh, I see, what’s the last thing you remember, friend?

Rana: Flying

Fee: And then we were falling.

Rana statues.

Fee: Here’s what I think happened, I think your bird demons have some kind of bubble around Stoneroost because you somehow became not an owl and we were plummeting toward the ground and they slowed our descent and they made this awful noise screaming in our heads or maybe just my head and then talked to us like kids and were like “No we don’t need your help, we got this dudes.” (She retells the whole thing with more words than this but this is all I got transcribed live).

Rana looks doubtful: I think I’d remember that...

Fee: Yeah you would think…

At about this time, Diem’s voice comes through on the sending stones.

Diem: Owl taken care of, we’re on our way to you guys in Stoneroost, let us know if we shouldn’t.

Fee picks up almost immediately: No, don’t go to Stoneroost - fly to the other side of the tournament just out of town, we’re, well...marco polo or something when you get close until you find us and we’ll catch you up on--

Rana interrupts: Meet us at the gate into Bouldergap.

Fee: Yeah. That probably works better.

It will take Diem and Ixayl’anu about 5 minutes to fly to their destination.

In the meantime, as Rana and Fee walk toward said gate, they talk about what Rana doesn’t remember. She is very VERY interested in everything Fee has to say about the ropen. Fortunately for her, while Fee didn’t care about all the details of the ropen, she did take note of them with her high perception and was able to describe them pretty accurately to Rana - including the detail that they aren’t naturally colorful so much as wearing paint or tattoos and decorative jewelry that glints in the sun. Rana doesn’t know enough about ropen to say whether any of this was normal or not.

The lore for them is only that they’re brightly coloured pterodactyl-like creatures. No one’s gotten close enough to realize it’s not a natural thing and Rana thought they were just animals until now.

They do both remember getting just past the area where we saw the abominations on the road before they were stopped and ported away.

(Together again)

As Diem and Ixayl’anu approach and land, they find Fee and Rana both looking pissed, Rana has her map out, half plotting a route through the mountains instead.

Diem: How’d you guys get over here? Nevermind because…(they proceed to excitedly tell how things went with the owl - including the bit Ixayl’anu was not yet aware of about the message spell convincing the owl that their patron promised retribution if their pets, plural, were harmed)

Ixayl’anu preens with pride over her actions and shining moments during the story. We did not highlight, live, that she would be hearing the message that chased the owl off for the first time though, so there’s no noted reaction to that bit.

Rana (after Diem concludes the story): I hope the Ropen gets it.

Ixayl’anu: Ropen?

Rana looks at Fee: Well, since I don’t remember what happened…?

Fee: Yeah...remember how Rana was gonna carry me safely and we were gonna do this recon mission…?

Rana glares into the open air at nothing over the whole situation.

Fee: Once we got a little more than halfway to Stoneroost, just past where we were before we hit a bubble or something I don’t know but that big Rope-Roc bird thing flew in and Rana got switched back and we were falling then we were not falling and then the bird thing screamed in our heads and it hurt. Then was all like, “Don’t come over here I got this.” and then I don’t know yeah that’s when we were put to sleep and moved over here. I guess Rana must’ve been dropped too hard because she doesn’t remember it all.

(Again, there were definitely more words used than this, more things said, all amusing retellings, but this is all I got transcribed live)

Rana: They’ve never stopped me going through the mountains before, so I’m thinking we go through the mountains and hike out there in the morning. (She also notes that they didn’t see abominations on the road though, at least).

We talk about possibly going by road one more time, but this time, coming out silver scale first to see if that gets us in the door with these Ropen. Among our options is Rana just straight flying out there again with one of us on her back, Ixayl’anu riding on her elk, or possibly hiking back out there and flying for the last 10-20 minutes. All with the silver scale and letter ready to show as a potential vip pass.

Diem pulls out their sending stone and starts to catch the guard captain up on everything as we head her way to check in.

Eldeth: Just meet me at the guard house, this is too much to take in over sending stones.

(At the guard house)

By the time we get there Eldeth says she’s heard many different stories but they all start with YOU (here she points at Ixayl’anu) breathing lightning all over the damned thing.

Ixayl’anu (not in the least as guilty as she should be lol): Yeah…

Eldeth: (nods to self like “Alright then.”) Well we hadn’t tried that, but it worked.

Diem fills her in with 25 performance on every little detail of everything tried first and failed and why etc. including visual demonstration of the archfey they tried to put in the story for retelling in case anything got back to the owl at least some versions might have an archfey involved.

Eldeth seems to appreciate all the details: Well, we had a deal and you handled it, but I’m not gonna lie I’d prefer to help you through to Stoneroost in the morning.

She calls in two guards for us though - a dark blue skinned goliath barbarian type named Mash Jufrin who has a pegleg (Mash was one of the dumb guards from the other day) and a reddish older looking warrior tiefling named Tioshikio Ayibi. Eldeth introduces them and says, “These are who I can spare - they’re the best at smashing things.”

Mash (laughing): Yeah I’m best at smashing things.

Diem: Delighted to meet you (to Eldeth after looking at the rest of their party) I’m definitely for the morning though too, I could use a short rest?

The others nod agreement.

Tio: In that case, I’ll go help out with breaking down all the festival havoc and meet you all at the gate out toward Stoneroost in the morning.

As Diem notices no one is telling the Stoneroost route story, they message Fee to ask why they’re not telling their story.

Fee out loud: Oh yeah you should totally do that!

Diem (also out loud now): Me? Oh...okay *tries to remember everything Fee said and does a 26 performance on telling their story*

Only because of that performance do they not laugh at Diem outright for talking about sky bigfoot but Eldeth is still looking at Rana (the local of our group) like “Seriously?”

Rana gives a look back like yeeaaaah...it is though, I know how it sounds. (She’d been wincing and frowning at every mention of ropen during the story.)

Eldeth believes us but points out that she wouldn’t otherwise if not for the owl and everything crazy that’s been going on of late. She recommends Tio to get more supplies to that end from the armory. We all part ways, Diem getting their extra sending stone back after announcing they have a date to get to.

(Free evening for shopping and more!)

We get the evening to do whatever we like. Rana needs a 300 gold diamond, so she’s going to go shopping. Since it’s on the way to other places we’re all headed, we all go with. Rana gets distracted by all the shiny pretty gems, Ixayl’anu has to pry her away eventually. Rana picks up 2 diamonds and can’t help herself, picks up 2 rubies, a sapphire and an emerald. Loose stones that call to her. Handful of rubies and pretty things.

Diem forgot in the live session but since it was determined they were there for the shopping on their way back to Emmen’s festival tent, they have been approved for also picking up some pretty stones and would have been just as enthralled by the pretties as Rana lol. Gem haul (whopping total of 1500gp lol): Includes 3, 10gp titanium rainbow peacock kyanite feathers, a large Iolite/Cordierite sample that is dark blue with white and clear crystal clusters in it at first glance - looking closer at various angles reveals the whites to shift into shades of silver that blend in with the blues that also shift with lighting into shades of black and violet as well (300gp for a small “brick” sized uncut chunk). Another normal-sized sample of this same uncut stone for 50gp, a water opal with an imperfection that looks like a crescent moon, worth 1000gp (the two big ticket items are to be gifts for their patron, if anyone asks), and topped off with a pouch of additional, hand-selected rough cut samples of asst other stones mostly in shades of teals and purples (basically would look like a small stash of rough fluorite, quartz, etc.). They also pick up a little amethyst cat figuring worth 100gp (because gifts to the fey should always come in threes).

Ixayl’anu hauls us out of there before we spend ALL of our money there (I mean for her goddess’ sake, it’s not like they’re the teeth of a rare and impressive beast or something) and goes off to find a shop with healing potions where she buys two common healing potions (100g total).

Diem gets 2 greater healing potions for 150 each.

Rana says she’s going to the temple, everyone but Diem is gonna join her there. Diem splits off from the rest to find their aforementioned “date.”

Ixayl’anu resummons her elk in the temple courtyard. It takes her 10 minutes to do so. He bugles frantically as though no time had passed since he was attacked and Ixayl’anu is there with horse girl hugs and affection that he appreciates as she calms him down.

Mutanamri quietly comes up to her during this: So while you’re welcome to stay here, and we appreciate all your help recently...your steed does have to stay outside the temple...it’s a little bit of a sacrilegious thing, so if you could put it out in the stables please?

Ixayl’anu nods and says she understands. She and her elk continue their affectionate reunion on the way to stables. She spends the night in the stables with her elk, sleeping together.

Rana floats the idea with Fee to do a find the item and retrieve course for the rats outside the temple somewhere. Fee agrees. Rana hands Fee a frickin ruby for this game and uses a frickin emerald for Hamlet, hiding them for retrieval. These are the games of the rich, people lol. Rana casts speak with animals and they send the rats out on their missions. They make animal handling checks of 8 for Rana and 17 for Fee 17. Horatio wins! It does help that he recognizes the “retrieve” game through practice a little better than Hamlet does.

We confirm that tiny animals stopped speaking draconic about a couple miles out of Longview. So Fee can also speak to and understand her rat through her ring.

Afterward Rana settles down by the flame and Fee with her, presumably.

(In the morning…)

In the morning, after everyone’s gotten up and performed early morning mass, Alka Briskfizz, a dwarven priestess in green, gold, and cream-colored robes, her orangey-red hair in pigtails approaches Rana and Fee: I heard you helped with the owl situation and I know you talked to Mutanamri a little bit about that already. I’m actually here right now because I’d like to offer my services for your other trip - I’ve got some family in Stoneroost as well. It would be nice to go up and see them with your group, make sure everything’s alright. I have some healing capabilities.

Rana nods: We’ll take all the help we can get.

Fee: Yeah…

Alka: Good - though...I thought there was more of you?

Rana: Yeah, we have to go collect one of us somewhere in town and the other is sleeping in the stables with her elk.

(some missed conversation for sure)

Fee: Have you heard anything more about what might be going on?

Alka: Every time I’ve been on the road it’s been uneventful, so this is new to me.

Fee talks about how the road was creepy and Alka says that’s definitely not normal for the pass.

Rana talks about what to expect on the road, mentions the ropen but frames it like, ‘yeah, we know it sounds crazy, but with everything else that’s going on, why not an impossible cryptid too?’.

Fee chimes in every now and then.

Alka’s listening politely. Rana insight checks at a 12 on her reactions - she seems skeptical but open to there being something best described, for now, as a mythological cryptid.

They swing by the stable first to pick up Ixayl’anu and that’s where the session ends.

[tanadrin]

hey *whispers* hey. hey. i saw your post in the wow tag. i would read THE SHIT out of your interpretation of wow lore. i have homework right now but i think i might just read through your blog a bit. the characters have always been such a high point for me (listen. i know knaak did a lot of shit. but you can pry Krasus from my cold dead hands he was EVERYTHING to middle school me) and i feel so conflicted over what theyve done to the characters - sylvanas, anduin, everyone. would love ur take

You might be a little disappointed, most of my blog isn’t about WoW (it postdates my WotLK raiding/RP guild phase, and I’ve only just recently got back into it with Classic). Lots of opinions on WoW characters below the cut.

I actually don’t hate Krasus as a character. He’s fine, he’s not a Designated Idiot Ball Carrier like some of the others are. In re: the dragons generally, I don’t like the simplistic thing WoW lore does a lot where one faction leader going bonkers turns the whole faction into baddies for no apparent reason, because all political entities are monoliths except when they’re not. I’m also not a huge fan of how crowded the, erm, metahuman bureaucracy on Azeroth has become in the lore–like, the Keepers and the Dragon Aspects serve similar roles, and the lore could have done fine with one or the other, and the dragons were here first (and Ysera and Alexstrasza are BAMFs), and so should get to stay.

Sylvanas is bae, obviously, and Sylvanas as Warchief was a terrific move plotwise. I think it’s a pity they had to kill Vol’jin to do it (because I am also very here for Warchief Vol’jin), but she is obviously the more interesting choice. Speaking of Warchiefs:

Thrall doesn’t have the Green Jesus Marty Stu quite as bad as some people think, but he does kinda have it, and I don’t see them grappling quite with the fact that he done fucked up. Like, not only did he install a Warchief who should have had all smart members of the Horde tugging at their collars nervously when he started his rule, Garrosh turned into a Sha-summoning Old God-corrupted, casual-atrocity-perpetrating maniac, not to mention all the bullshit on Old Draenor I do my best to forget about lest my blood pressure spike. We don’t really get a satisfying mea culpa from Thrall for that, and then his response is to fuck off to fiddle around with the Earthen Ring for a bit, before retiring to a farm in Nagrand. Keep in mind, one of the whole reasons the Horde came together in its current shape in the first place is because of the charismatic, hopeful figure of Thrall. It ran the very real risk of splintering under Garrosh for good (ESPECIALLY after the murder of Cairne, RIP Cairne Bloodhoof, you were too good for this world), and even the most unifying successor (which I think Vol’jin was) didn’t have Thrall’s inclusive, unifying vision. Sylvanas doesn’t, either, and even more, is sort of low-key hated by everybody else, so while I don’t think she’s a maniac like Garrosh who would recklessly divide the Horde, she’s also not, I am forced to admit, necessarily the ideal Warchief from a political standpoint.

Even if he didn’t return to the post of Warchief, Thrall had a moral obligation after the Garrosh debacle to try to help hold the Horde together and heal the divisions his negligence caused. At least to throw his support behind Garrosh’s successors, and not to pretend that Deathwing’s death meant everything was OK forever, job done. And if he wasn’t going to do that (and he has excellent motivations for not wanting to do that!), I think the consequences of that have to be explored. I think some people would blame him, and be justified in doing so. I think somebody like Varok Saurfang, who has had decades of experience with the damage bad leaders could do, would rightly be a little pissed, even as he sought Thrall out for help, that Thrall had let the Horde he built languish under subpar leadership. Thrall has been selfish–and that’s great, because he desperately needed some character flaws more significant than “cares too much” and “believes in people a lot.”

Anduin: better than Varian, still a little bland? Varian was a Professional Idiot Ball Handler, who seemed to do stuff not out of a coherent conception of his character, but just because the plot required a Generic Human King to do it. Plus there was all that stuff with the cloning and the kidnapping that never really made any sense. I like Anduin’s optimism; I like that he feels like a thoughtful, reasonable guy, who’s doing his best in often-impossible circumstances. I feel like they could show him being a little more frustrated sometimes, though, and a little pissed at people like Jaina who obstinately refuse to do the strategically correct thing even if it means setting aside their resentments for a bit. Disclaimer: I play almost exclusively Horde toons, they may address this better in the Alliance quests in WoW.

But oh man, besides the Draenei, I hate most what they did to Jaina. Jaina was that rare jewel, an optimist in a world whose setting demands perpetual chaos. Yes, yes, Theramore and the mana bomb, I’m not suggesting she should be made of stone, but it breaks her character to have her suddenly go from someone trying to forge a lasting peace between the Horde and Alliance in WC3–to the point where she would see her own father dead–to someone who now blames the whole Horde as one no exceptions for what happened at Theramore. Should she struggle with grief and pain and anger? Absolutely. But she should deal with them in more complex ways than “now I am become the mirror image of Daelin.” Nevermind that even if she did that she should at least regret not listening to him back in WC3. (Do they address that in BFA with the introduction of Kul Tiras? Idk, I haven’t played BFA at all yet.) It seems like Jaina’s role now is to be the Person Who Hates The Horde, and honestly, that’s a tired trope. It’s just not interesting, it has no nuance, it has no interesting outcomes. You could maybe get away with it with the generation of leaders from the Second War like Daelin and Genn who knew the Orcs only as the fel-corrupted servants of the Burning Legion, but it’s obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together than the current Horde is a very different animal politically and strategically, so even if you hate the Orcs with a burning passion, that is not going to transfer to the Tauren, nevermind onetime allies like the Blood Elves.

Gul’dan: oh my god the time travel plot was so stupid. Did the whole universe get duplicated in the alternate timeline? Since travel between the universes is cheap and easy that means there’s a whole nother Burning Legion with a whole nother Sargeras out there that’s still a huge fricking threat! Not to mention a whole nother Azeroth! Did just Draenor get duplicated? That doesn’t seem to match up with the fact a lot of the Burning Legion characters in WoD seem to be parallel universe versions of Burning Legion villains we already know, but it’s not directly confirmed or disconfirmed. Is it some sort of weird Bronze Dragonflight timey-wimey thing that doesn’t have its own independent reality? Ok, fine, but obviously this alternate Draenor has enough of an independent existence for us to visit it again and see what it’s like decades later, not to mention bring some of the people there back. Gul’dan was a fine, if one-dimensional villain but bringing him back from the dead was dumb, dumb, dumb, in a setting where death often feels meaningless and seems to be reversible at random. And the general incoherence of magic in the setting combined with the perennial incoherence of time travel plots (Gollum voice: *we hates them!*) really just reduced WoD to a quivering mess of plot holes, like febrile fan speculation made manifest.

Tirion Fordring: good example of a purely heroic character done well, which WoW has few of. I think because he actually has challenges to overcome, and he doesn’t feel like an idiot.

Bolvar Fordragon: Literally did not know or care who this guy was until the Wrathgate cinematic, but what they did after that with his character was terrific, 10/10.

Malfurion, Tyrande, Illidan: These characters all bore me to tears. My WotLK main was a druid, and I’m a big fan of the druid lore, so I wanna like Malfurion, I really do, but he’s just so dull. Partly because it doesn’t feel like he has any real limitations on his power, just whatever the plot demands he be able to do or not do at any given moment, partly because he just feels like a stiff-necked scold. Tyrande is even more one-dimensional. Illidan is pure 3edgy5me, and the demon hunters in general feel like they get to be too cool to actually traffic in any of the pathos of what should be their emotional equivalents like the Death Knights and the Forsaken. It’s like, “oh man, my life is so tormented, I have these bitchin’ horns and tattoos, and I’m, like, totally immortal, here, hold my rad sword thingies for a second.” At least with the Death Knights you get the feeling that being a Death Knight is a genuinely miserable experience, so there’s some genuine conflict at the heart of the class: sure, you play as a hero, but not the kind of hero you’d necessarily want to be. Demon hunters are just pissed they don’t get to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table, and Illidan genuinely acts like a giant asshole and then gets self-righteous and whiny when his friends and family are like “Dude! Stop being such an asshole!” There’s room for a prickly character, who’s a dick, but who’s our dick, and maybe that’s what they were going for, but Illidan is just the worst.

Azshara, Lady Vashj: The Naga were a giant fucking mistake. A symptom of the inability to let backstory stay backstory, to have to resurrect and retread the same events over and over again that plagues serials when lesser writers without original ideas get let loose on them. Settings like WoW (like Star Wars, like Star Trek, like Dune) are whole universes. You should be expanding the borders, making them feel bigger, more fine-grained, more alive, not beating the same major characters to death over and over again. The ancient Kaldorei are way more interesting as a lost past and a lesson in hubris than fish-snake-people who live under the sea.

Also, water levels are dumb and I hate them. This applies to coral-and-shellfish themed zones regardless of whether swimming is involved.

Cho’gall: I loved the “insane nihilist death cult” reincarnation of the Twilight’s Hammer Clan in World of Warcraft, and Cho’gall as the many-eyed crazed ogre mage with two heads was great. Would much rather have more Cho’gall than Guldan 2.0.

While I’m on Cataclysm: one thing you don’t often feel in worlds like WoW is the possibility of real defeat, because for extradiegetic reasons, it’s impossible to truly lose in any long-lasting way (or, in quests like Battle for the Undercity in WotLK, they just… don’t let you, which feels dumb as heck). I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of a post-apocalyptic fantasy world, a world where the bad guys won, and all the worst things the good guys feared came to pass. I think this is one reason I loved the original interpretation of the Draenei so much, because we saw in Draenor what that really looked like. It was bleak, and it was poignant, and even though it was set within a silly melodrama, it actually moved me. Cataclysm did something similar with the postapocalyptic time-travel instance (time travel being used well for once in WoW!), where you saw that Deathwing’s victory wasn’t just an abstract possibility, but a thing that could actually happen. It made the possibility of defeat feel more real, and it gave you a taste of that same bleak, poignant feeling: this, it said (just for a moment!) is what failure looks like, an Azeroth without life, without hope, in which everything you ever struggled for was utterly in vain. And that motivated you to work even harder to prevent it.

Alleria, Turalyon: “You last saw us in WC2, and since then we’ve been fighting a thousand years (subjective) of endless war against the Burning Legion and been irrevocably changed by the experience” is actually pretty great! But if I were going to rewrite WoW lore, I would make that a thousand objective years and set the final victory over the Burning Legion in the future, at a time when the Alliance and Horde have made a durable peace, and Azeroth has moved on from decades of endless war. I think there’s a real problem with trying to make the player one of the heroes that brings down Sargeras for good because it’s *such* an epic battle, but it’s a massively multiplayer game. Making every player the grand master of their class order was bad enough, but when you are obviously playing out entirely different diegesis from everyone around you, even if you didn’t have problems like sharding and a glut of phasing and cross-server activities and instant teleportation to dungeons, it really feels like a single-player RPG with a chat function. I mean, conflicting diegeses is always going to be a problem with questing-based MMOs, but suspension of disbelief worked when you were plainly one person embedded in a larger effort, like in vanilla, BC, and WotLK. But “you are one of thousands of people who is the Best Warrior Ever and sole Leader of the Warriors, and who has the Only Artifact Weapon that somehow also has thousands of copies”… yeah, that just doesn’t work for me. I feel like I’m being pandered to, and not in a fun way, like with the Pandaren.

Sargeras: I like that they retconned Sargeras to have a better motivation than “demons made me nihilistic.” The idea of a void-corrupted titan being something so terrible a member of the Pantheon would shatter worlds to prevent it is interesting. But the Void gods still feel… kinda non-threatening? We don’t see them actively working to threaten anything we really care about, the Void is mostly a pretty passive abstract force like the Light, and in general I feel like the setting isn’t really dualistic, but er… trialistic? Is that a word? In that there’s a three-way opposition between the Void, the Light, and the Nether/Arcane, from the perspective of which each is the opponent of both of the others, but that’s never laid out explicitly anywhere.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #174: Captives of the Collector!

August, 1978

I’ve been kind of excited to get to this issue. Because this was the very first Avengers cover I ever saw.

Back when I was a tiny bibliomancer, perhaps a novellamancer or even a pamphletmancer and I didn’t know what the Avengers even were.

My conception of superheroes was mostly X-Men, Spider-Man, and Batman. Because of cartoons.

But I had a few issues of Wizard magazine and there was a price guide in the back. Because this was back in the heady, foolish days where the speculation market was booming and comics seemed like a real investment.

And the price guide sometimes had tiny images of covers to keep it from being just a page of letters and numbers. And I saw this cover and thought ‘I have no idea what’s going on here.’ I think I might have thought it was a Justice League thing.

In fairness, Justice League would totally have people in tubes on the cover.

So I don’t really have anything to say about this cover because I just get drawn into a vortex of memory. But I do have to point and laugh at Hawkeye who tied a cable around himself so he could swing around like Flynn but it doesn’t seem like its long enough for him to touch ground.

Anyway, lets get down to business. To review. This comic.

Last time: the Avengers met the Guardians of the Galaxy and agreed to help them with a time traveling cyborg called Korvac. Unbeknownst to anyone, Korvac married a supermodel and settled down in Forest Hills to pursue his dream job of taking over all of existence.

Meanwhile, the Avengers have gotten into shit with the government and gotten their sweet governmental perks withdrawn because their security is shit and the asshole Peter Henry Gyrich won’t brook that nonsense.

They’ve also been dealing with a strange rash of disappearances that have taken all their members and tangentially related characters until all they were left with was Thor, Iron Man, the Wasp, and Hawkeye. With the Guardians’ help, they tracked the disappearances to a non-TARDIS orbiting Earth where they discovered... THE COLLECTOR!

And now... the rest of the story.

The Collector gloats that actually the Avengers finding his secret hiding spot is a good thing because now his collection is complete and he’s not at all worried that now they’re in punching range.

When Iron Man and Hawkeye point out that they’ve been through this song and dance before, the Collector menaces them with a shake weight.

Or apparently a Vandarian Power Wand.

Which apparently only has one charge because when Iron Man deflects the Vandarian power blast with his iron abs, Collector just doesn’t use it again.

In fact, when Thor comes at him (the Vandarian Power Wand having been explicitly stated to be able to harm even Thor), the Collector (or Acquisitor as Thor calls him) summons... THE ENERGY CREATURES OF ERDILE!

They look like lightning peeps with kirby krackle but they are in fact, probably not lightning.

When Thor hits one in the krackle with Mjolnir, Mjolnir becomes stuck and Thor becomes unable to release his grip on it.

According to the Collector, hitting the ENERGY CREATURE OF ERDILE in the tum caused Mjolnir to pass into another dimension where it is held fast by the dimensional interface. And if Thor manages to pull it free, IT WILL DESTROY THAT ANOTHER DIMENSION! DOOMING BILLIONS!

The Collector is fun, provided you have a tolerance for villains whose whole thing is pulling new powers out of their ass. Like a kid in a sandbox who keeps making up new powers so they never lose make believe. Or like Gilgamesh from Fate.

The Collector is more fun than Gilgamesh though. Get rekt, Archer.

Speaking of archers, Hawkeye hangs back to help Thor... with morale support? while Iron Man tries to tackle the Collector.... ‘s hologram.

FOOLED YOU

Such a troll.

He then attacks Iron Man with “a simple child’s toy” he acquired on the planet Dergos, where the children MOVE FASTER THAN THOUGHT ITSELF. Which is good because this simple child’s toy shoots dozens of missiles which burst open to release gas on impact.

Iron Man seals off his armor from the gas but it wasn’t a poison gas or sleep gas. It was a gas that locks up metal joints, imprisoning Iron Man in his own iron, man!

FOOLED YOU!

The Wasp tries to distract the Collector by giving him a chance to exposit. Its the best thing for distracting villains, usually.

The Wasp: “Why are you doing this? What do you want from us??”

The Collector: “Why, a complete set! A perfect collection -- of Earth’s mightiest heroes! The only such collection of its kind -- that will survive the time soon to come!”

And then - not distracted at all - he shoots Thor and Hawkeye with a positron cannon. Because by this point, Mjolnir had absorbed enough negative energy from the ENERGY CREATURE OF ERDILE that the sudden positive energy knocks him the hell out.

And the Collector was lying about the other dimension.

FOOLED YOU!!

The Wasp has had just about enough at this point so she shoots the Collector in his wrinkly mug.

So he unleashes a flying roomba that catches her in an electrified net.

And now that just leaves Hawkeye.

The Collector: “Now, archer -- you are the last Avenger... and the least!”

Hawkeye: “That depends on whether you’re judging by raw power or skill, Collector! I may not be much in the first category! On the other hand -- in the second... Hawkeye is the best there is!”

Disarmed with a clamp-arrow (because of course Hawkeye has a clamp-arrow. He has a bouquet arrow and an antigravity arrow, a clamp-arrow is baby stuff), the Collector flees deeper into his not-TARDIS and unleashes a not-pterodactyl at Hawkeye.

Hawkeye manages to dodge its SKAW swoop and then uses a bola to ground the lethal flying lizard.

Oh how the table is on the other foot now. Before, it was the Collector who was pulling out new toys to triumph over every challenge but now Hawkeye is doing the same with arrows.

I guess the third best superpower (after squirrels and ants) is just having an indeterminate amount of stuff on your person.

Or, I guess. Versatility? Fear not the man who can punch really well, fear the man that carries arrows for esoteric purposes.

The Collector is starting to warm up to Hawkeye. In his own way.

The Collector: “You are resourceful! Perhaps you are even worth collecting for yourself -- and not just for your membership in the Avengers!”

But he continues fleeing and Hawkeye continues chasing. And the Collector is like hey rude, I’m going to prepare something horrible for you so stop follow.

And he drops some incendiary capsules which burst into flame.

So Hawkeye grappling hook arrows over the fires.

The Collector is apparently really spry because he’s already way ahead of Hawkeye but on a lower platform.

So Hawkeye gets a wonderful idea and summons his inner Flynn.

He uses his sharpened croissant arrow to cut a cable so he can swing down in front of the Collector. And now he has him cornered on a catwalk. Not able to grab any new collectibles. And if he had something on his person that was better, he would have used it by now.

So I guess Hawkeye wins. Although this is only page 12. Weird.

The Collector gives Hawkeye one last chance to surrender. Which. I mean, he must have something up his sleeve, right? Perhaps some last collectible that he didn’t want to use because it was mint in box.

Hawkeye: “Sorry, pal, I don’t buy it! I figure our surprise entrance caught you more off-guard than you’ll admit! You lucked out against the others, with gadgets you had lying around... but if you had anything to throw at me now, you wouldn’t be standing there flapping your lips!”

The Collector: “Bah! One needs no gadgetry -- who commands POWER COSMIC! I am old beyond your ken, insect -- and it has been eons since I wielded the energies I possess! It is a chore at my age! I resent being forced into this!”

And he or she who possesses the power cosmic can do all kinds of things like breath in space, talk to squirrels or apparently cause the catwalk to warp and wrap around Hawkeye to crush him.

Hawkeye: (*Uhh* What an idiot I am! Why didn’t I try to free the others? Why did I try to take him alone? Now we’ve all had it! Why did I have to be... the last?)

But he fires off one last hail mary arrow on one last physics baffling bank shot.

Except I was lying. It wasn’t a hail mary arrow. It was a taser arrow. And it hits the Collector right in the shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain.

Victory: Hawkeye!

He goes to revive the other Avengers and free them from their comfortable tubes.

And now it looks like the Collector has some ‘splainin to do.

The Collector: “I -- ? Explain to such as you? Absurd!”

He then proceeds to explain his entire backstory and motivation.

Because. Villains CANNOT resist. Exposition.

He explains that he is one of the Elders of the Universe. Extremely old people that have obsession based immortality. Basically, as long as they’re obsessed over their one thing, they’ll stay alive to do that one thing. Like the Grandmaster and his games. Or the Collector and his collecting.

Although much of the nuance of the Extremely Old People of the Universe is something we learn later.

The Collector explains that although his brother roamed in search of games, he only wanted to study the simple creatures of the universe. I guess he started off as more of a the Zookeeper or the Botanist than a hoarding the Collector.

But the Collector also had the gift of prophecy and he foresaw the rise of Thanos, a power that would rival the Elders and threaten universal death.

Concerned over the fates of the primitive creatures he loved so much but afraid of challenging Thanos, the Collector set out to preserve them. Gathering samples. Collecting, basically.

But to his surprise, Thanos was destroyed. Turned into stone by Adam Warlock.

The Collector might have stopped collecting then (which would have killed him, as losing your obsession can make an Elder just drop dead) but he foresaw the coming of another, even more dangerous power.

And this time, he chose to interfere.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd that brings us back to Forest Hills where Carina is confessing to Korvac that she was to betray him but couldn’t bring herself to.

She confesses that her father sent her to spy on him and that he is a prophet who foresaw that Korvac would be cruising for a date at a fashion show.

Korvac is peeved.

Not that Carina was sent to spy on him, it doesn’t seem.

Korvac: “If he is a prophet, can he not see that this troubled planet is destined to find peace only under my proprietorship! Nothing... no one can be allowed to interfere!”

And even as Carina begs him not to, Korvac finds the Collector’s hidden not-TARDIS in orbit and reaches towards it crackling with energies.

Back on the Not-TARDIS, the Avengers are still quizzing the Collector.

Iron Man: “-- So you were playing a sort of galactic Noah, huh? Preserving us helpless ‘lower lifeforms’ from a horrible fate!”

Indeed. But the Collector feared that just preserving the creatures he’s so fascinated by won’t be enough.

This newest enemy might cause a war among the great powers of the cosmos (your Odins, your Zeuses, your Mephistos, your Eternitys. Those guys) in his attempt to achieve universal sovereignty. And such a war could obliterate all reality.

Which is why this time, he interfered. He sent his daughter to spy on the enemy in hopes of finding a weakness.

Iron Man: “You sacrificed your daughter?”

The Collector: “Perhaps... and it seems she now returns the favor!”

But before the Collector can reveal the name of the enemy (Korvac), a bolt of energy strikes him from out of the blue, disintegrating the Avengers’ old foe.

RIP the Collector. You were one of the greats.

The Avengers are horrified that the unnamed enemy (Korvac) so easily struck down the Collector, just when he was about to reveal the enemy’s identity.

Iron Man: “And right before our eyes -- as if to show us how insignificant we are! Fleas compared to a being -- who can kill a god!”

And the issue ends back in Forest Hills, with Korvac telling a crying Carina that she is now an orphan.

Because he just killed her dad.

So here we are on issue #174 of the Korvac Saga which started in issue #167. For the first time, the Avengers are actually aware of the nature of the threat. They heard from the Guardians that Korvac was up to something but his machinations are so subtle and so above the Avengers, they likely never would have found out until it was too late if it hadn’t been for the Collector.

Although Korvac is the big overarching threat of this saga, the plot has been driven by the Collector reacting to it, rather than Korvac himself.

And that’s interesting to me.

The Collector goes back to issue #28 of the Avengers so he’s about as classic an Avengers foe as you can get. And this saga is kind of his story too.

Its backloaded into this issue because mystery. But we learn so much about the Collector here. A little about his origin, about his secret powers, that he has a daughter, and his motivation.

And considering what a nerd he’s been, ranting about his perfect collection of Avengers (was collecting complete runs as much of a thing back then?), he has a surprisingly sympathetic motivation.

Its even a little bit of a retcon given how he’s acted before. But as of this story, all he wanted was to preserve the things he loved. And that included the Avengers with all their daring and adventure and melodrama.

Although, its kind of hard to ignore how much the Collector was just worfed. He was never a powerhouse but as I said, he is a classic Avengers villain from their third year in print.

And he got new, never mentioned powers in this issue. THE POWER COSMIC. The same juice that makes Silver Surfer and Galactus so peppy.

With little effort, Korvac killed him from afar. How scary he must be to manage that. Even when the Collector saw it coming literal miles away.

Oh, speaking of retcons. It is interesting to me to trace the Collector going back and forth from fantasy to sci-fi.

In his first appearance, he used flying carpets, giant summoning beans, potions, and a catapult. At the end of that appearance, he used a time machine though.

In his second appearance in Avengers #51, he has a spaceship and he uses aliens and robots to fight the Avengers.

In Avengers #119, he strikes during Halloween and uses the legendary coats of Hercules, the birthstones of the half-mythical Vultures of Nepenthe, and two rocks that summon infinite bats.

And now in this issue, he has a not-TARDIS that hides in another dimension and uses power wands, energy beings, a child’s missile launcher, and a positron cannon. Plus he reveals his sci-fi origin as one of the oldest beings in the universe.

I don’t think this means anything but its interesting. I think the Collector is more solidly on the sci-fi side of things going forward but its interesting to see his inspiration sine wave like this.

Next time: the Korvac Saga starts to wind to a close. The Avengers now know there’s a mysterious enemy who threatens all of reality. What do?

There might be a delay in new posts. I’m taking a trip to the cold lands this week and I don’t think I’ll be able to get two more posts done before I have to leave.

Use that time to not google ahead for spoilers. Also, maybe follow @essential-avengers. That would be cool of you.

[afraidofdifference]

steph curry is the antidote to toxic conceptions of competitiveness

In a radio appearance earlier this month, Steve Kerr compared Draymond Green’s competitiveness to Michael Jordan’s. In the same interview, Kerr also noted:

I've played with a ton of guys who are really competitive. Tim Duncan for example -- his competitiveness is more like Steph Curry's. You may not see it if you're just watching the game on TV. You may not see the eruptions, the anger.

Here’s Kerr elsewhere:

If you think about Steph, you think of this mild-mannered [guy]...but he's f---ing competitive. He wants to rip your throat out.

That word - competitive - is not one often brought up with regard to Curry. To be sure, worthy proxies are used; Steph “has an edge that’s second-to-none” and of course, he “likes to win too.” But competitive?

We have been conditioned to accept a single understanding of what it means to be competitive. You know the one. It is the competitiveness of Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. Enough and more has been written about the legendary competitive drive of those two, their need to win above all else. Michael punching teammates in practice, riding Scott Burrell all season long, and so much more. Kobe’s embrace of “competitive rage as an elixir” is equally well chronicled. Both athletes have been valorized for these attributes; even Scott Burrell takes a ‘that’s just what it means to be competitive’ approach, one that could be chalked up to Stockholm Syndrome if it weren’t so prevalent everywhere in our discourse. Or perhaps we all suffer from a case of collective self-delusion, needing to build up the myth of manic competitiveness as a necessary precondition for basketball greatness. At best, a token head nod towards the more complicated aspects of such behavior is all that can be hoped for, “a way to skip past the discomfort and ambiguity of actually grappling with the acclaimed celebrity's monstrousness straight to the part where you congratulate yourself for having done so.” Turns out Kobe was wrong when, in reference to the Colorado sexual assault case, he said that people “didn’t want the gritty shit...and most people still don’t (side bar: That was language Kobe used in 2018 when talking about the sexual assault case, fifteen years after the incident took place. Let that occupy a pew in the back any time homilies about Kobe’s repentance are issued.) People are more than comfortable with the gritty shit. They have to be, lest the hollow cynicism of their fandom be laid bare.

This is not to deny the very real impact of that competitive drive - it is hard to argue against the weight of statistical achievements that people like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant bring to bear. Moreover, denial is not even the point here; as a wise man once said, “you’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an asshole.” A more substantive reckoning with the competitiveness of Jordan and Bryant would involve acknowledging how their toxic competitiveness is inextricably bound with “the gritty shit”. Jordan’s execrable hall of fame speech was perhaps inevitable, “what fueled his fury as a thirtysomething now fuels his bitterness.” As one team executive in attendance that night in Springfield summed it up, “that’s who Michael is.” Far more serious is the case of Bryant. The sexual assault case has been treated as an unfortunate also-ran in the saga of Bryant, something either incidental or entirely orthogonal to everything else Bryant accomplished. Yet, as Bryant himself acknowledged, the Black Mamba persona was a product of Colorado. Depending on how charitable one wants to be, it was either a coping mechanism, or a deeply cynical ploy to turn scandal into gold. All manners of sin can be hidden in the euphemism “gritty shit”. 

“During the Colorado situation, I said: ‘You know what? I’m just going to be me. I’m just going to be me.’ F--- it. If I don’t like a question from a reporter, I’m going to say it,” he says. “If they ask me a question about this thing, I’m just going to tell them the truth.”

His fist strikes the desk.

“Like me or don’t like me for me.”

This isn’t just competitiveness with a side of toxicity - this is competitiveness as toxicity. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Which brings me back to Steph. You know about the joy of Steph, even the secret rage of Steph, and the selflessness of Steph; “in accepting Durant, Curry may have sacrificed sports immortality for life.”

A quick tangent here, crossing eras, sports, and continents: Keith Miller is an all-time cricket great, a regular Australian hero. In addition to being one of the finest all-rounders of any era, Miller flew night missions over Nazi Germany during World War II. Following the war, Miller was once asked about pressure on the cricket field, prompting his now famous retort that “there's no pressure in Test cricket. Real pressure is when you are flying a Mosquito with a Messerschmitt up your arse!” 

Cutting back to Curry, here’s his friend Chris Strachan: “[Curry] feels God put him on this earth to play, and he never wants to forget that that's what it's all about—play.” 

At the risk of whiplash, let’s cut over to a recent profile of Sabrina Ionescu, the toast of New York basketball right now and torch-bearer for Kobe’s basketball legacy:

Like Bryant, Ionescu had struggled to relate to teammates. Nobody worked as hard. Nobody seemed to take losses in the same soul-crushing way. Oregon Coach Kelly Graves said that during Ionescu’s freshman and sophomore seasons, there were times when she would be sharp with teammates and they would shut down.

“It was brutal,” Ionescu said...“How competitive I am, there was nobody that compared to that,” she said. “There was just kind of this separation between me and the team.”

The story goes on to note that Ionescu, with counsel from Kobe Bryant, made amends with her teammates in order to be the leader they needed. So far so good. Except that I come back to that word “competitive”. I admire Ionescu’s game (and her speech at Kobe Bryant’s memorial moved me to my core); if conciliatory leadership was something that required overcoming a competitive drive viewed as burning hotter, there is something admirable in that. However, it need not be that way. There is another world. I will turn it over to Ayesha Curry in 2016, coming off the Warriors’ Game 7 finals loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers:

“As great an athlete as my husband is, one of his greatest gifts is his ability to keep losses in perspective...Last season could have devastated some people, changed their being, their whole personality. Steph was down for a little bit, and he wanted to reflect on how things could have been different. But by ‘a little bit,’ I mean two days—three at most. Steph wants that championship as much as anybody ever could. But he doesn't need that ring to complete his own sense of who he is and what he's worth. Win or lose, he's the same happy guy.”

Pressure is pressure and all the great ones want to overcome. Let’s cherish the ones who do so while acknowledging that pressure is having a Messerschmitt up your arse.