#Even he looked a bit uncomfortable
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just finished dead boy detectives
wtf was that???
#Who knew that Crystal getting her memories back would make her so much more cringe#And her kissing Charles? Made me physically ill 🤢#Even he looked a bit uncomfortable#Also niko’s dead?!#Everyone liked her#even the little people who tried to kill her liked her though they wouldn’t admit it#They should’ve let Crystal die#unpopular opinion#but I fucking hate crystal#She is actually so annoying and cringe#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#edwin x charles#charles x edwin#niko sasaki#crystal palace#crystal x niko#niko x crystal#jenny the butcher#monty the crow#the cat king#esther finch#beth rants
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Kirby deals with existential crisis and Bandana is a good friend
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#hoshi no kirby#king dedede#bandana waddle dee#gooey#i like the fact that gooey is canonically Kirby's roomie and we never see him therr#i don't think even Kirby knows where he goes#he's like a wild cat you let live in your house but still manages to go out and returns when it wants#did you know gooey means everything to me#everyone's pal gooey#enough about gooey let's talk trauma#Kirby's existential crisis is my favorite subtextual overall narrative from the kirby novels#it's so good how Kirby is always a bit uncomfortable every time they find someone who looks like them#and no one makes them feel worse than void#i think Kirby understood more about void than we give them credit for#and if you ask me why does Kirby have nightmares despite being inside of Dreamland and around the fountain of dreams#the answer is idk#anyway bandana is really perceptive about it#marx is an asshole as always#i wish Kirby's fear and inadequacy could be explored more#they're only hinted at by the novels#but i know Kirby saw themselves in Galacta Knight#the novels confirmed Galacta used the allies sparkler when defeating void termina and the sparkler represents something objectively pure#so my favorite hc is that Kirby was born after the heroes of yore defeated void and star allies draws parallels to that giving you og Kirby#Kirby defeated void and got friends Galacta got imprisoned for eternity#i wonder if Galacta went through the same identity crisis Kirby went through but Galacta sealed with it worse#anyway nothing bad will happen to Kirby after all they have tons of friends to rely on
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lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.
#you messed up an excellent little autistic dude caterina look at him he has no personal life and his only friend is his scar-ass cousin!!#because that's what you told him he has to be and he believed you!!!#all that and you wouldn't even let him have a wyvern dagger just for fun and b/c it makes him SO happy? when i get you caterina dellamorte#I'm finding the crow family drama so compelling in this game I'm just hanging around treviso Observing haha#I wish they'd given illario a bit more nuance in this (as I feel he does have in the wigmaker job)#b/c with the sheer pantomime susness he's got going on they really don't want you to engage with him deeply haha#also teia mvp as always but I think that goes without saying (and happily all these lads around her seem to know it)#both lucanis and viago like 'thank you teia you're the best 🥺' and she's like 'yeah I know'#protective big sis of the remaining crow family haha. and she's got to be barely thirty years old at this point. I'm love her so much#'*annoyed voice* MAKER HELP US' she's saying what we're all thinking#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#I think my rook is having some uncomfortable moments of realizing some parallels here with their own relationship to the watchers haha#like 'buddy you're so much more than just a tool for your family to use. I however have a sacred duty I was banished from#the fulfilment of which determines my entire worth and that I am low-key mourning behind the levity b/c that's what I was made for. ...wait#I feel like rye was more the illario & lucanis combo only child tho. wants so much to be good but keeps getting into Shenanigans#chaotic underachiever with frankly upsetting potential when they actually get their act together and they WANT to so bad#but also. shenanigans keep happening. releasing blighted gods is only barely the wildest of them
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i am the cattt just chillin outt but in the night she's all i think aboutttt
#zeno's art#i feel so strong 😭 when shes around 😭 she picks me up 😭 when 😭 i 😭 am 😭 down 😭#even i can admit that i love the full theme song. anyway!#for this redesign i also wanted him to feel less generic but in a different way to marinette#i wanted his civilian clothes to look comfortable and stylish so hes like ... a rich boy who doesnt really dress like a rich boy#idk#i got rid of the purple to keep everything cohesive and because it annoyed me#and i tried to make the outfit less simiar to maris too. why were they both wearing nearly matching jacket shirt jeans ensembles???#i also wanted to make his hair look a bit smart with the side part but also a little rebellious with the spiked hair#that also creates a subtle cat ear silhouette.#with the chat noir suit: the original looks very uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear for a 14 year old (i think theyre 14 in the show?)#i remember that one of the designers for itsv said that most teens would be embarrassed wearing a spandex/tight suit if they were superheros#and thats why miles wore shorts and a jacket and shoes over his#so i thought 'ill make chat's suit more comfy'#rather than his weird leather suit its more loose esp in the legs to make an interesting silhouette#the cat scratches on the suit + the messier hair also signify rebellion#and the belt mirrors that of my ladybug redesign#the graident tail is just to match plagg + it looks cool#ok done rambling!#miraculous ladybug#mlb#adrien agreste#chat noir#cat noir#plagg#zag studios hire this man
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For Requestober, Req.2
HP!Gaster with Nny clothes, not a specific fit, just that it's Nny's. I always wanted to see that sjsjdj
Day 4 - Perfect fit, barring taste
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Gaster#I'm sure Alphys was instrumental to this happening lol#They find the whole ensemble in the dump and Gaster makes a comment about how it's ratty enough to belong there haha#I would say this is my go-to Nny outfit but I do actually have a small handful huh :0#Edgar has such a cartoon character closet compared to how I style Nny haha#But I Have drawn him with his hips out more than once! I think it's a Look#Didn't include a piercing or eye shadow but that'd probably be a bit too much to ask of Gaster lol#Finally someone skinny enough to fit in Johnny's clothes without pulling the seams!#Even with skeletal magical bodies filling out their clothes - I assume bone-tight clothes wouldn't be uncomfortable :0#I mean we've seen Gaster in tights lol#I did have a rather inordinate amount of fun having his hip bones stick out Quite that much hehehe#The whole pose came together really nicely I think! :D His elbow resting in the intersection of his legs especially <3#Contact points yay ♪#Had fun with the design on his shirt as well :) Something of a premonition here hehe#In that case he ought to have his Lost Soul head but I wanted to draw his intact face! Maybe another time#It all suits him oddly well huh haha
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen?
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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its been so weird rewatching tenth doctor episodes after getting diagnosed with autism earlier this year cos like as a kid, and even later as an adult, i had no idea whatsoever that ten was actually kinda rude, apparently. like he can be perceived as arrogant and he says and does things that are off-putting and his companions often have to give him looks or apologise on his behalf or explain his behaviour to others.
ive seen a few people point stuff like this out more recently as reasons for not liking his character which im fairly certain is the only reason ive noticed it this time round. and im pretty sure this might actually be part of the reason ive always loved him and connected with him so much tho cos apparently i also say the wrong things and come across as arrogant and i had absolutely no idea about that either until very very recently.
there’s a social awkwardness to him that i had no idea i was even connecting with all this time. little ten year old me just thought he was the coolest guy in the world.
#doctor who#tenth doctor#autism#the tenth doctor is my original blorbo as it were#and he is still the coolest guy in the world tbh#i think you could probably say all of this about any doctor tbh as well#i have a lot of love in my heart for twelve and his cue cards and thirteen not knowing what to say to graham at the end of can you hear me?#oh man there’s this bit in the lazarus experiment (ive just got to lottl in my rewatch)#where francine is grilling him over what he’s been doing with martha all night and he says they’ve been ‘busy’#which she interprets in a veeery specific way and he is so! uncomfortable! and he can clearly tell he’s made a faux pas of some sort#and it’s like he’s literally boxed in and he’s got no idea what to say in this situation and it’s soooooo so so relatable#lol i said i was gonna be rambling on this blog look at me go#is this even coherent? does any of this make any sense? who knows?
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Genshin characters age headcanons masterlist (updated)
Yeah. I could give you many reasons why I believe some of the more debatable/"controversial" ones are very sensible and Good based on just freaking paying attention to context given in the game but for now I'll just compile a basic list. If you'd like to hear my reasoning for some of these you're welcome to ask as long as you're polite about it.
List under the cut.
Aether/Lumine: 19
Amber: 18
Kaeya: 22
Lisa: 33
Barbara: 17
Razor: 16
Xiangling: 16
Beidou: 29
Xingqiu: 15
Fischl: 19
Ningguang: 31
Bennett: 18
Noelle: 18
Chongyun: 16
Sucrose: 20
Jean: 21
Diluc: 22
Qiqi: 6-8 (Hard to tell given she's a zombie and talks and acts differently from normal)
Mona: 20
Keqing: 21
Venti: 20 (biologically)
Klee: 7-ish?
Diona: She's so hard because she literally runs a business and acts like an adult but she's super short. I have no idea.
Tartaglia: 21
Xinyan: 19
Zhongli: 37
Albedo: 21
Ganyu: 23
Xiao: 20
Hu Tao: 18
Rosaria: 23
Yanfei: 21
Eula: 24
Kazuha: 20
Ayaka: 18
Sayu: 9- or 10-ish maybe?
Yoimiya: 18
Kujou Sara: 24
Raiden: 28 (biologically)
Kokomi: 18
Thoma: 20
Gorou: 18
Itto: 26
Yun Jin: 19
Shenhe: 23
Yae Miko: 30
Ayato: 26
Yelan: 24
Shinobu: 20
Heizou: 21
Collei: 16
Tighnari: 22
Dori: Super hard to tell, because again, she lives alone and runs a business by herself despite using the short girl model.
Candace: 24
Cyno: 23
Nilou: 21
Nahida: 7-9
Layla: 18-19 (she seems to maybe be in her first year of college - definitely in college, I'm just guessing the year here)
Faruzan: 24 (I know she's like a hundred years older but she was stuck and didn't age and I'm talking biologically still)
Scaramouche: 21 (biologically)
Yaoyao: 7-ish?
Alhaitham: 26
Dehya: 25
Mika: 17
Kaveh: 27
Baizhu: 34
Kirara: 20
Lynette: 20
Lyney: 20
Freminet: 17 (Don't know how much younger he is than his siblings, just guessing based on context and the way he talks and acts)
Furina: 21 (biologically)
Neuvillette: 36 (biologically)
Wriothesley: 32
Navia: 26
Clorinde: 27
Sigewinne: Basically impossible to know as she's a Melusine and not a human
Charlotte: 21
Signora: 29
Dottore: 33
Arlecchino: 31
Dainsleif: 22 (biologically)
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin impact headcanons#this is largely aimed at people who are under the mistaken impression that any characters have a CANON age particularly the travelers#sarah miller-crews saying she was under the impression the travelers were 15 and then correcting#and saying “actually i don't know for sure that's just what i thought” has left the fandom with the mistaken idea that that is solid canon#and it most definitely is not#i find it much easier to believe the traveler is biologically 18 at the very least#largely because of that part in one of the mondstadt quests where kaeya is openly flirting with the traveler (obviously as a joke but still#he's clearly a young adult and would not at all be flirting with a teenager as a joke or otherwise#this is also why the way lisa flirts with the traveler makes me extremely uncomfortable (and i think it's intended to)#because even though i headcanon them as 19 she seems like she's in her late 20s and that's a bit much of an age gap#this is also largely aimed at one particular artist who keeps drawing neuvillette and wriothesley and making them both look like old men#it weirds me out because there's literally a line in the fontaine archon quest where paimon says wrio's younger than she expected him to be#and neuv is pretty nimble and uses the young male adult model so idk where that person got the idea that they're in like their mid 50s#calling them both “wrio” and “neuv” feels very cursed but there is unfortunately a character limit in the tags#it annoys me that the fandom is completely blind to context and just goes “medium height model equals teenager#and tall height model equals adult" because if the medium height female characters in liyue are any clue that is definitely not the case#ganyu and keqing literally work IN THE GOVERNMENT#hu tao RUNS A FUNERAL HOME#yanfei is a freaking lawyer#they would not be letting teenagers do that#heck this is the case in every nation almost#tighnari runs the whole dang forest ranger thing out in gandharva ville#cyno also literally works for the government and is like their frickin chief of police for the entire frickin country#faruzan is a licensed professor at arguably the most prestigious university in all of teyvat#layla is literally in college and as far as we know is normal college age and isn't doing advanced classes as a teenager#in inazuma ayaka runs their clan's GOVERNMENT WORK along with her brother#kokomi and gorou are literal generals in the army#heizou is a licensed detective
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this will be unpopular probably but idk i've been called slurs a time or two and it's personally uncomfortable to see... obviously do as you please in general but when interacting with me or my posts i'd really prefer if yall didn't casually use fag, etc in place of gay and stuff 👍
#gently draws a boundary#it feels like its become hashtag cool to call people fag and fruit and fruity without considering that people may be uncomfortable with it..#i understand the phenomenon of reclamation but thats an opt in process. it shouldnt be opt out#ive written slurs into my fics like once or twice and its solely because i couldnt imagine it any other way lol but for me its just very not#a casual thing.#obviously this is one post#and it feels silly to pin#and even then i dont expect people to look at my blog before interacting or anything#but if you happen to come here often i would appreciate it 😔#also i realized my tags imply people have called me directly that stuff and fortunately not#but its a bit. unnerving to see people reblogging my stuff and saying that two dudes are fags or fruits or fairies or queers (this one#is highly controversial lmaooo i know okay but literally as a noun. it makes me think of my dad telling me about how he used to play smear#the queer but dw he loves me !!! 😬)#anyway seeing people say that two dudes are soooo those. is a bit unsettling for me. it's often one to one with how homophobic people say it#i understand that's not intentional on yall's parts! obviously#lol#but its never going to be something that doesnt make me uncomfortable. and i thought id just say something because tbh it feels weird not to#so i would appreciate if you would be considerate of it#again like. on my blog. talking to me or on my posts. i don't expect any claim to how yall act elsewhere
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siiiiiigh the chuggaaconroy situation really sucks :(
#like i don’t think he’s the scum of the earth or anything but you can’t deny how creepy he’d been acting#and no being autistic is not an excuse for consistently making your female friends uncomfortable#and continuing to act weird even after apologizing#i feel bad for everybody he’s hurt. especially lady emily who’s had to deal with a Lot of victim blaming#masae coming out with her own experiences too makes it sting even more#and i do think emily could have been more solid with her boundaries but i also don’t blame her for feeling weirded out. i would too tbh#man.#i wonder what colo’s gonna look like this year#honestly i haven’t watched chugga in a Long time cuz i’ve just. kinda grown out of his content style#also it legitimately surprised me when he started openly swearing in stuff lol#like who is this#but he still held a dear place in my heart and it feels a little bit off now#hrm.#bear.txt#bear.vent
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The hard thing about liking Getaway as a character is that people are like "why are you mad people hate him, he's literally evil in the text" and it's like. Yeah I get that and I ENJOYED the way he was shown in MTMTE, the problem is that in LL his character got hit with villain degradation/idiot ball and so my beef with his portrayal is that I think it's shitty and underwhelming writing.
But like, it's really hard to debate about that because canon is the basis of the entire analysis, and if your contention of canon is basically "he would not fucking say/do that" then that means a near-complete rejection of canon in favor of headcanon and you can't really "debate" personal opinions in that way.
Anyways, LL Getaway sucked and the most charitable interpretation one could have of how he was written is that he was a victim of JRO needing to wrap up a billion plotlines at once and getting shafted because the mutiny plotline had to resolve really fast. Which is a flaw of LL and a bunch of its characters/plots in general, not me being an "apologist."
#squiggposting#i am a bit salty about it still lol#getaway literally went from a delightfully evil bastard to like#the most dumb motherfucker who's also simultaneously THE MOST EVIL EVAR#also hot take but i'm gonna say it#part of the reason getaway gets a comical amount of hate even from 'villain enjoyers'#is literally just bc he was mean to poor sweet cinnamon roll TG and got in the way of c y ga/te#shippers will be assholes to any character who is mean to their faves or breaks up their chosen OTP#but also. ll getaway just sucked and was boring and underwhelming and contrived#you can make someone evil but at least make him interesting and smart ffs like goodness lmao#also no offense bc people are gonna be like 'the point of the story isn't karmic justice for everyone'#but it's still kinda rich that ppl are fine with meg being on the LL but god help you if your name is getaway#have fun getting hit with the idiot ball by the writer. who also made M a sad uwu little man#negativity#i'm salty lol might look back at this and cringe but maybe not#it's just a problem with LL in general that everything is so rushed#and that JRO has always had certain problems with writing protagonist centered morality at least a little bit#like idk the vibes i was getting of 'getaway is literally THE WORST EVER and EVIL and STUPID and DELUSIONAL'#as i read were really weird and intrusive and uncomfortable
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Do I already have an au thats got its own folder in my google drive about Visually Impaired Bill? Yes. Do I want to talk about it because I broke my glasses and forgot how blind I am? Yes.
There’s just something about low visibility and how it’s such a concept to play with. My eyesight is Horrible and it’s almost impossible for me to get 20/20 vision, you could be standing a yard from me and I wouldn’t be able to see your face and my eye sight is just going to keep deteriorating with age. And for those curious, I do have contacts to wear, though like I mentioned, they do not give me 20/20 and also my jokes of being unable to cry or show emotions was taken too seriously by my eyes which decided they would also be unable to produce moisture properly, which makes contacts extremely irritating and hard to wear for long periods of time, even with the aid of special eyedrops.
But also, it’s been brought to my attention how like… genuinely fun and eerie you can make low visibility, and this isn’t me making light of being visually impaired or anything this is just genuine shit that’s been happening to me for the past week and I’d like you to imagine the following scenarios with Bill in mind:
Staring at people completely dead eyed, only to be told to stop staring at them cause it’s creepy. Apparently we’ve been having a staring contest but I was just trying to track movement of the faceless thing that walked in so I could stay aware of my surroundings.
Being told repeatedly to look at things that’s impossible for me to make out without any aid, fr sometimes I feel like Toph from avatar with the way my family tries to show me shit and has to be reminded I cannot, in fact, see them or what they’re trying to show me.
Having to keep a physical hand on the people I go out with in order to keep a physical marker on them. If I were to loose them in a crowd I would not be able to find them.
The people who choose to adapt to my extremely low visibility and those who choose to be irritated by it. The difference between those two.
With Bill having only One Eye, imagining that one eye having terrible and deteriorating vision is just a concept that I enthusiastically get my grubby little hands all over uk? Regardless of if it’s a human au, or if it’s an ‘axolotl sent me to earth in a human form as punishment’ au or however you want to spin it. An all seeing Eye and being of an alternate dimension warped with dreams and nightmares and unreality being unable to properly conceive the reality he’s been so desperate to find his way into is just a Good Prompt to me idk broski.
It is now time for some of the Bill headcanons I have in this department and in that previously mentioned AU folder.
Bill calls Dipper Pinetree after stealing his cap and discovering the embroidered pine tree on it. Dipper had refused to give his name hoping to be left alone but Bill simply found other solutions.
Bill keeping a constant hand or arm around Dipper while in public spaces.
Others initiating obvious and intentional contact with Bill when they start speaking to him, commonly but not limited to group conversations. It’s a more meaningful way to ‘maintain eye contact’ or allow them to give him their full attention.
Bill also has a contact he can wear when he needs to, but sometimes due to migraines or general discomfort he simply won’t wear it.
This post is already way too long but yeah ❤️ Wether it’s a human au or not just Bill having to deal with a human version of himself that’s extremely visually impaired as a juxtaposition to the All Seeing Eye of his true form. That’s all I’m pitching here. I have so many thoughts uk. So many au’s.
#god I want to see again#i ordered new glasses but alas#i can’t see what i draw or how it looks#playing video games is pointless i cant see shit#im fr just like sitting here#this is why my hair covers my eyes#like i can’t see shit anyway ?#it pisses people off so much u wouldn’t imagine#bitches get So Upset cause they can’t see my eyes#even tho i tell them i can’t see them regardless#it makes them so uncomfortable for my eyes to be covered in their disuse#i just think Bill would have fun with being ‘inconvenient’ and would love to put people on edge#ure telling me he wouldnt take advantage of his disability to be a weirdo and creep people out?#he so would#and dont get me started on the dark#or night time#what little visibility i did have vanishes#its crazy#either way i hope someone sees this and agrees#or at least enjoys themselves a little bit#bill cipher#gravity falls#human bill cipher#billdip#gravity falls au#bi.f.shit
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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I know this is beating a dead horse no pun intended but like everytime we see Alex at home he just looks miserable like not happy to be there at all. Kinda like he’s a prisoner but he chooses to be there so it’s his fault and maybe he is happy it just doesn’t reach his eyes I don’t know I don’t understand that man at all but I love him 😂
Like. Like okay. We could approach it from a different angle where we primarily see him onstage/working and he blatantly loves that. It's palpable how happy he is and it's our best reference and that's not necessarily fair or reasonable to parallel. Because what else ever makes him look so happy? Enthralled? In love? Nothing we ever get to see.
But then you see how he looks at a horse and even that doesn't compare.
What is that!!
#there was that period right before and very much during Simple Creatures where he still didn't have a look#but posted about her quite a bit and posted them together and there was a charming sweetness to it#but if any couple was gonna post candids where you could feeeeeel it they would. and that's not a thing??#and even if we give them the benefit of being together for so fucking long that of course the spark changes sure that's fine#but he literally looks uncomfortable. settled but not a perfect fit#they make me feel delusional and go against everything I think the decades of evidence should tell us#and he wrote an album about how much being single sucks and familiarity pulls you back in. sigh#it's fascinating if you can ignore the frustration#I know he ain't so complex that he's a completely different person with her I'm sorry I refuse to believe
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just had the worst hair cut experience :(
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#was rly dysphoric abt my hair so i booked an appointment online where you can basically get your hair cut immediately#booked a men's haircut. tried to be as masculine as possible when i went there. i did Not pass as a guy. they thought i was a woman#the whole time. when i wanted to pay the hairdresser was like 'you booked an appointment for a men's cut but you're a woman right?'#she asked that bc for woman the haircuts are more expensive and for men they're cheaper. like.#for a women's haircut you have to pay 20 € more lol. anyway i felt... not much tbh. i looked her in the eye and shook my head#to indicate no im not a woman and she rang me up for a men's cut#i don't feel all that much rn either it's just. looks like i don't pass. there's not much i can do.#i cant dress any more masculine my hair is short i use mens shampoo and deodorant#its probably my high voice. also im small. it might just be my ~vibe~ im a shy kinda person idk#guess i just have to wait for T to work its magic. so far nothing has rly happened#i actually had a cold and not a voice drop but i think ever since i /can/ speak a tiny bit deeper if i try#idk if my levels are good. my next appointment is in april so i just gotta be patient and wait#what's actually most bothersome abt today is that i couldn't play it cool. if this had happened to a cis guy and he would've been asked if#he's a woman he would've laughed it off or been offended and it would've been ridiculous to him. for me it was the worst come true and it#made me extremely insecure and i feel if i had just the confidence that a cis guy has it wouldn't have made me that uncomfortable and i#could've just brushed it off#anyway i gotta focus on my exams now anyway so ill just try to brush this experience off#the hairdresser wasnt even transphobic when i shook my head no im not a woman her eyes were sort of soft but calculating like she accepted#me i think but just the fact that it happened that i do Not pass that i Do have to out myself and can't just be myself w/o being questioned#hurts#also to my mutuals ive read your comments and messages i just havent had the energy to answer yet. i love you guys <3
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also I love this that is the face of someone who is very much not happy with anything at that moment you really can tell how much he does not like seeing the object of his affections treated like that
#it's very good#very very good#it really makes me think of that one line which I can not cite freely but it was something along those lines too#this single two second shot of Eichi looking so uncomfortable is so good actually because they could've made him put on that pokerface#but they didn't so#yanno#I'm not sure how to explain this in english my brains a bit mushy#but like#that's Wataru and he's getting berated by the student body and it is Eichis fault#to Eichi I mean and you know how he said he's a "huge fan'' of his#pains him so much that he can't even pretend to be unaffected#is what I mean#wataei#eichi tenshouin#I'm not sure if I should tag wataru too because he's technically speaking not in the post directly
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