#like i don’t think he’s the scum of the earth or anything but you can’t deny how creepy he’d been acting

[yuriprince]

siiiiiigh the chuggaaconroy situation really sucks :(

[rowarn]

HYBRID!AU PART 2

part one | part two | part three

(: anyway here's what you've all been begging for. a part 2 but it was getting so long...almost 3k words. and so....there will be a part 3.......but for now i hope this satiates you!!!

cw: hurt/comfort, aftermath of hurt???, self-deprecating thoughts, insecurities, mentions of blood and scratching, mentions of past mistreatment, petnames and headpats tho <3

The next time a human approaches you, you’re unable to stop the growls that escape your throat when you hear the pspsp as he tries to approach you. When you hiss, the man scoffs and stomps away muttering a soft ‘stupid cat’ under his breath. 

No one approached you for a long while after that. The only way you knew how much time had passed was when the restaurants all threw their leftover food from their workdays. Eating out of the trash was always utterly humiliating, especially when you got caught. 

Most people ignored you when they saw you sitting on the sidewalk, getting some sun since it didn’t shine into the little alleyway you hunkered in. Some people would scoff and give you disgusted looks, as if you were a stain on their shoe. 

At this point, you were used to humans acting like you were scum of the Earth. After your experience with Simon, human’s behavior towards you no longer surprises you. Though it hurt, you didn’t understand why you were so unlovable. 

But then one evening, when the sun was just beginning to set and the temperature was steadily dropping, you were huddled up in what little bit of sun-warmth you could get until it became dark. Your arms were wrapped around your body as you shivered, trying to ignore the way your tummy growled from being empty – the store employees had chased you off before you could steal anything from the dumpster. 

A large shadow cast over you and when you looked up, you saw a slender, athletic man. His presence immediately set you on edge and you felt a growl bubbling up in your chest.

“Hey now,” he chided softly, pretty brown eyes crinkled as he squatted in front of you, “None of that, little kitty.”

You scowled up at him. Even crouched down the way he was, he was larger than you.

“Do you have a name?” he asks kindly. 

You pause at that. Soap had given you a name. But did it really count as one if your previous owner hadn’t even agreed to it? Still, it was the only thing you really had left of your former companion. 

You softly mutter the name you’d been given and the man nods before holding out his large hand, “Kyle. Would you like to come home with me?”

That sends off alarm bells in your head and before you know it, your claws are ripping into his hand and you’re scurrying into the alleyway to cower in the corner. 

You hear the man faintly sigh before he stands, knees cracking as he does. You don’t hear anything from him for a few minutes before his heavy boots walk past the alleyway and fade. 

You don’t even understand your own reaction. Of course you wanted a home to call your own. But you don’t think you would be able to handle it if he turned out to be the same as Simon. You wouldn’t be able to get attached to a human only to be abandoned on the streets like you were last night's trash. Perhaps it was just easier to reject all human companionship than risk being heartbroken all over again. You had only recently stopped crying yourself to sleep over the memory of your home. 

You think that will be the last time you see the man, surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with a cat-hybrid who was mean, but just a couple days later, he’s back. He stands beside you, one bandaged hand gripping a shopping bag. You feel a pang of guilt at the sight of his bandaged wound. He slowly places it beside you, staring at you expectantly. 

“This is for you,” he says awkwardly after a second of you staring blankly at him, “It’s some food and water.”

Your stomach growls at the mention of food and as much as you want to peek in the bag, you can’t bring yourself to admit defeat like that. He might think you’re accepting him as your owner if you accept his gift! 

But you’re not! You refuse to end up hurt and sad like you had been with Simon! You would rather just live on the street than go through that hurt all over again. You couldn’t stand to give your trust only to be betrayed and mistreated again.

You only wanted someone to love you but apparently that wasn’t in the deck for you and that was okay, you told yourself. No matter how much it hurts to admit.

The man, Kyle, sighs softly when you simply ignore him, the sound almost melancholy. It makes your heart ache in your chest. He casts you one last glance but you keep your gaze down before he walks away, disappearing out of sight at the end of the street. 

With his piercing gaze off of you, you turn to the bag and begin rooting inside it. 

A couple bottles of water and some hybrid-safe packaged food. Nothing that needed refrigeration but also much better quality and variety than what you had been given by Simon. 

You remember how it felt to watch Soap eat delicious meats and fruits and veggies while you got bland, colorless slop. Sure, it was healthy for hybrids but everyone knew it was disgusting. Clearly Simon didn’t care – he was just feeding you so you didn’t inconvenience him by starving to death in his house. 

And though Soap would sometimes share his food with you, it wasn’t the same.

This food was yours. Kyle had gotten it for you.

You pull out one of the packages, a neatly wrapped sandwich with all the organic ingredients listed in bright colors. It makes your heart ache just a little bit as you take your first bite, all alone on the sidewalk, quietly wishing Soap was there for you to share it with as payment for all the food he had shared with you. 

Kyle makes it a habit to visit you day after day, sometimes bringing food, sometimes just bringing himself. Most of the time, you ignore him but he doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest, only quietly promising to visit you again soon when he bids you goodbye. 

It starts to become lonely when he leaves.

You don’t know when it begins, but you find yourself waiting for him. You sit out in the open, mindlessly combing your tail, where he can see you if he approaches. You find yourself thinking about him and if he’ll bring something for you to snack on – he found these delicious fish flavored chips that you were practically addicted to. Though, you didn’t say anything about your liking of them, he kept bringing them so you think he knows. 

Some days, Kyle’s visits were quick and fleeting and other times he sat there for a while. He had given up trying to talk to you much since you made it a point to ignore him but you were happy that he hadn’t given up yet. 

You know you would have given up by now. But the fact he persists leaves you with a warm, soft feeling in your chest. You’ve never had someone try so hard for you before, Simon certainly never cared to try.

Kyle wasn’t so bad after all, you found yourself deciding. He was quiet but not standoffish. He didn’t try to touch you after you had swiped at him one time when he went to pat your head. He was kind, always complimenting you with ‘pretty kitty’ and ‘sweet kitty’. And best of all, he didn’t ignore your existence like you had grown used to when living with Simon. 

Waiting for Kyle to show up became the most grueling part of your day. Minutes felt like hours and any tall man who passed by had you perking up to see if it was Kyle. The urge to get closer to him grew day by day, you wanted him to pet you, you wanted to talk to him. 

Maybe living with him wouldn’t be so bad after all. Just the thought of a happy life made you purr to yourself. 

You vowed that you would talk to him today, maybe see if you could take him up on that offer he had made that first day you met. 

But he never came. As the sun dips behind the horizon, you find your hopes getting squashed. He always came before dark. 

With a heavy heart, you curled up in the little cardboard box you had been calling your shelter. It was easy to tell yourself that the ache in your heart was because you wanted to see him and not because you were scared he had given up on you.

The next day, the same thing. You waited all day only for him to not show up. Then the next day. And the next. 

A week passed with no sign of him and you tried your best to pretend like it didn’t hurt like hell. 

Maybe he really had gotten sick of waiting for you and decided to find a hybrid who would actually talk to him. You couldn’t blame him, you suppose. But it still made that heavy pain settle in your heart like when you had been thrown out by Simon. 

One morning, you were awoken by a loud voice shouting down the alleyway, “Alright, come on out, cat.”

The sound of the voice had you sitting up, eyes wide as you looked around. At the entrance, a man stood with his hands on his hips, a hefty utility belt around his waist. 

He sighed when he saw you staring blankly at him before he came over, hoisting you up by the arm.

Your growled and hissed, ears pinned back as you fought against his grip. He dragged you out, taking you towards a big black van that had the words ‘hybrid-control’ printed on the side. 

You swiped at the man with your free hand, sharp nails slicing into his skin. He cried out in pain but didn’t relent in his hold.

“Stupid fucking cat,” he snapped, “Fuckin’ hate havin’ to pick shits like you up.”

“Excuse me,” a sudden, frantic voice called out, “What are you doing?”

The man holding you turned to look at Kyle, an annoyed look on his face, “Got a complaint about a stray hybrid livin’ around here. Came to pick it up.”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” Kyle said, reaching out to pull you from the man’s grasp, handling you much softer than the stranger, “This hybrid is mine.”

The man looked like he wanted to argue but glanced down at his bleeding arm and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, man. Your funeral. Just get it off the street.”

When the van drove off, Kyle turned to look at you apologetically, “Sorry, I didn’t want to claim ownership over you like that but–”

“Where were you this week?” you find yourself pouting, crossing your arms over your chest petulantly.

Kyle looks shocked before he smiles kindly, “I was away for work. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you.”

Your pout only deepens, “It’s not like I missed you or anything…”

“Of course not,” he laughs but you both know he doesn’t believe you, “How about I show you my home, hm? It’s not too far from here.”

You agree without complaint, letting Kyle lead the way down the busy streets until it grows quieter and quieter.

The neighborhood is startlingly familiar as he escorts you to his home. It doesn’t take long for you to realize it’s the same neighborhood Simon and Soap live in. 

You weren’t exactly sure how far their home was but you couldn’t stop yourself from frowning at the memories.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, “Don’t like it? I know it’s a little boring here but it’s near the base so what can you do?”

“It’s not that,” you quickly said, considering telling Kyle what was on your mind but you instead settled for, “I-It’s nothing.”

You were worried if you told him about your previous home, he might think there was something wrong with you. You didn’t want him to think you were undesirable and put you out on the streets all over again. You silently wondered when you became so insecure. 

He hummed and opened the front door for you, “There’s a room at the end of the hall that’s an office right now but it’s all yours once I get it set up with a bed and everything.”

“My own room?” you ask softly, fluffy ears perked up.

“Of course,” he smiles, “This is your home now.”

You feel tears prick your eyes but you quickly look away before Kyle can see them. It felt so nice that he actually considered it your home too and not just his. Simon always made you feel like you were barely welcome and only there because he put up with you until he couldn’t stand you anymore.

“Oh before I forget,” he said, grabbing a box off of the table, “I got you this.”

He showed you the contents, a cute, dainty collar with a metal tag in the shape of a fish with your name engraved on it. 

“Why do you have a collar?” you asked, tilting your chin up so he could fasten it around your neck.

“I had hopes that you would let me take you home one of these days,” he laughed, a boyish, kind sound that made a smile grow on your own face, “I wasn’t going to give up until you were safe and sound with me, love. I knew this was going to be your home one way or another.”

You spend the whole day wandering around the house and exploring, nudging against every surface to spread your scent on it. You hadn’t done that much in Simon’s house, too scared you’d get reprimanded for dirtying up the furniture or something.

But Kyle didn’t care in the slightest. He simply smiled when he saw you nuzzling the pillows. He even trimmed your nails so they weren’t nearly as sharp anymore. 

It was nice living with him.You quickly realized how different your life felt with Kyle than how it felt with Simon.

Kyle was kind and friendly, calling you by your name and petnames and not just ‘hey you’ or ‘cat’. The affection in his tone was palpable and just hearing how sweetly he spoke to you made you purr uncontrollably. 

And he didn’t once raise his voice at you or chase you off the couch when you were napping. He gave you the softest pats on the head and let you snooze on his lap without a single complaint. 

He never forgot to feed you and always gave you the most delicious things he could find. He ate at the table with you and told you all about his day, making an effort to talk to you and learn about the things you liked to do while he was at work. 

You were happy to finally have a home to call your own. But deep down, you missed Soap. You missed his energetic happiness and how affectionate he was with you in a way that only hybrids could be. He was the only true companion you had ever had and he had left his mark on you. You wondered about him every day, especially when you heard the front door open and you half expected him to come running in with a thrilled grin on his face, ready to regale you with tales of outside.

You passed their house one day while on a walk with Kyle, something he took to doing as an activity with you (he didn’t want you to get bored or stagnant just sitting inside all day), trying your best to act like seeing the home you used to call your own didn’t make your heart ache painfully in your chest. 

“There’s a hybrid that lives here, you might like him. His name’s Soap,” Kyle said when he saw you pausing in front of their home, “Owner is Simon Riley. I work with him, kind of a standoffish guy, you should probably steer clear if you run into him. He’s not the most friendly.”

“Yeah…” you found yourself mumbling, barely even registering anything Kyle had said, a frown etched on your lips before you looked at Kyle, “Can we go home?”

“Of course. Let’s get you some food, pretty kitty,” Kyle cooed affectionately, patting your head before leading you back home. 

You casted a glance at the home you used to call your own, you were startled to see Soap standing in the window, eyes wide, brows furrowed, and hurt written all over his face. The sight alone made your own eyes sting. He had never looked at you like that before. He looked so heartbroken.

Kyle cooed softly to get your attention again, leading you down the sidewalk and away from the house. Soap’s figure in the window faded from view and you felt your head spinning.

Soap and Simon’s scent faded the further you got away from it. But once you entered your home with Kyle, your scent and his mixed together in a way that it never did with Simon’s. You couldn’t help but purr, the pain and anxiety in your heart fading.

But still, your mind lingered on the distraught face of the best friend you left behind.

do not modify or repost to third party sites. reblogs appreciated!

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

ARE YOU READY?!!!

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WOOHOO!

129 for 🚨:

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“I don’t know what to do,” Buck blubbers as Bobby wipes his face with a wet paper towel. 

“Yes, you do,” Bobby says resolutely. He is the direction Buck is desperate for right now. “You’re going to go home. You’re going to take care of your boy. And I will stay here and update you on the surgery.”

“I can’t leave him,” Buck protests. “I can’t leave Eddie.”

“Buck,” Bobby insists. “Christopher needs you.”

And because that’s exactly what Eddie said, Buck has to do as he says.

🔸🔸🔸

He has to try hard to keep it together when he picks Christopher up from Eddie’s cousin’s. He thanks Liliana - who knows what’s going on but hasn’t told Chris - and loads Chris into the Jeep. 

“You’re back early,” Chris observes from the back seat as they drive home.

“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “Uh, got sent home early.”

“Why?” Chris asks. 

“I’m going to tell you about it at home, okay?” 

“Why can;t you tell me now?” Christopher asks. 

“Because it’s a better conversation for at home, when we’re sitting down.” Buck tries. 

“We’re sitting now,” Chris points out.

Buck exhales loudly. He feels like he’s about to burst into tears.

“Where’s Dad?” Chris asks. His voice is quieter. 

“Uh…” Buck scrambles for a lie. He can’t find one that isn’t hideously wrong to tell. “I’ll tell you when we’re home, okay?”

“No,” Christopher says sternly. “Tell me now.”

Fuck. Fuck. 

Tears spills out of Buck’s eyes unbidden. He turns his head a little so Chris won’t be able to see from his vantage. 

“Buck,” Chris presses. 

“Okay! Okay, fine. Okay, uh… Let me pull over.”

They’re still in a residential area, so Buck pulls up to the curb. 

“Buck, what’s going on?” Chris asks again. His voice cracks a little from the anxiety.

Buck wipes his eyes, cuts the ignition, and gets out of the car. He rounds the vehicle and climbs into the backseat beside Christopher. 

“Where’s Dad?” Chris demands. 

“Um, he…” Buck starts. He has no idea how to finish. He wishes for the first time that he had been close enough to hear Eddie explain to Chris what had happened to Shannon. How did Eddie handle this? Buck feels completely lost. 

“He’s, uh, he’s-he’s not coming home tonight, Chris.”

Christopher gives him a stern, suspicious look. “Why not?”

“Well, um…” Buck continues to struggle. “Well, he-he got hurt at work today.”

Christopher considers this. 

“In a fire?”

“No. No, not-not in a fire.”

Christopher looks confused. Buck fears he is going to list a million possible ways Eddie might have been predictably hurt on the job and Buck will have to deny all of them, because the truth is so much more horrific. Someone shot Eddie. Someone shot Eddie and one other firefighter. No one fucking knows why. It came out of nowhere. And Buck couldn’t protect him. 

“Uh, the truth is, someone hurt your dad.”

Christopher pales a little. 

“On purpose?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“A bad guy?”

“Mhm,” Buck answers. 

The scum of the earth, if Buck had to give him a label. Despite where life took him, Buck has never been inclined to violence. But he thinks if he had this man’s head under his foot right now, he would step down harder and harder until his skull was crushed. He would do anything to cause him pain. 

“Yeah, yeah, a-a bad guy.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” Christopher asks. 

If only Buck knew.

“You know, your dad is, uh… Well, he’s the strongest, bravest person I know, right?” Buck says. Chris nods a little. “So, uh, he’s-he’s with the doctors now.”

“Like the ones that fixed you?”

“Uh huh. Yeah, like-like the ones that fixed me.”

Buck doesn’t want to explain the very different natures of their injuries. 

“Then he���s gonna be okay, right?”

Still plugged in in the front seat, Buck’s phone buzzes with an incoming text. Buck leans forward to reach and check it. 

It’s Bobby. 

Out of surgery. Doctors say it went well. 

Buck starts to cry again. 

“I think so,” Buck tells Chris. His voice is wavering. “He… I think… He has to be, right?”

Christopher’s lower lip trembles. “What if he’s not? What if he dies like my mom?”

“Uh… Uh, Chris…” Buck chokes a little. “Bobby says the surgery went well, okay? But… But if… You always have me. Okay? I-I love you so much. You know I love you so much.”

Chris nods. He leans into Buck. Buck wraps his arms around him. 

“I’m always here for you, okay? No matter what.” Buck promises. “Remember? You and your dad are both the most important people in the world.”

Christopher starts to cry. Just a little bit. His face is pressed into Buck’s shirt. Buck kisses the top of his head. 

“We’re okay,” Buck says in a hushed tone. “We’re okay, Chris. Your dad is gonna be okay.”

And now that he’s said it, it has to be true. It just has to be.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

a modern au aegond on whatever you feel like writing plss

modern AU Aegon ii Targaryen x fem!Reader + Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader.

A/N - I’m just writing a modern!University AU on what they’d be like in a relationship.

Modern!Aegon ii Targaryen x fem!Reader

Aegon was skeptical about you initially, especially your feelings and attitude towards him, he really struggled to figure you out.

You both shared various classes together, although never really spoke to one another unless necessary for instance for group projects or class discussions.

This time was different however, this time it was a little more 1 on 1. You both had been paired for an assignment, and to be frank, you weren’t initially that keen.

Aegon had a notorious reputation around campus, and it was not one you’d much rather associate yourself with.

He was wildly known for being a troublemaker amongst both students and staff alike, from time to time being absent from classes, often you heard it was because he was too “hungover” to wake up.

And with the girls, he was known to be a major fuck boy. He’d often manipulate and seduce girls to bed with them, only to leave them hanging the next day. No call, no consideration, just complete ignorance.

You urged Aegon that you’d only meet up to work together in public places & most of the time it was the library. You’d convinced yourself he wouldn’t try anything in a place like this, but you were so wrong.

Aegon began his take on you, you could see right through his facade. Each time his attempts to “flirt” would fail, he’d get even more frustrated with you.

He’d make degrading comments, often as a “joke” he would rationalise.

“God Y/N, you’re such a bitch.” “Are you always this fucking stiff?” “Why don’t you let me loosen you up, beautiful, aye?”

That was the tipping point, as Aegon’s hand began sliding up your thigh, making the comment, you shoved him off viciously, as you began your rant.

In the heat of the moment you went on a tangent; although to sum it up. “How fucking pathetic are you, Aegon?! It’s beyond me how you’ve convinced yourself that you could ever be deserving of someone like me. You, you being the scum of the Earth, Aegon, I’d rather drop dead right here and now, than spend another fucking minute with you. You disgust me, and don’t you ever fucking touch me again, you fucking asshole.”

The last thing you remember was the shock & stoic face of Aegon, as you grabbed your belongings before storming off. You’d never felt so heated in your life.

At this point, no progress was made from Aegon’s side of the assignment & after the confrontation, you couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Aegon again. You’d arranged to discreetly spoken with the professor in charge, who reluctantly accepted your desire to split from Aegon and complete the assignment alone, after hearing that Aegon was lacking.

You wouldn’t have disclosed this decision to Aegon before hand. Although, once he’d found out he definitely took it to heart.

He didn’t realise how much his behaviour and attitude had rubbed you off the wrong way. You would be his waking up call.

Aegon would text you and occasionally try to call you. You’d ignore his attempts.

This pushed him to having to confront you face to face, which when he did he was actually quite anxious to do.

“Y/N please, I know I don’t deserve your time and day, believe me. I just need you to hear this.”

“Aegon, I have class, I-” As you tried to continue on your walk, you felt a tug on your arm, pulling you back into his gaze.

“I’m just really really sorry, Y/N. Whether you accept it or not is entirely up to you, but I couldn’t sleep, can’t think straight if I don’t apologise. Everything you said, i-it’s true. This feeling, this guilt, I’ve never felt this before. I really didn’t mean the things I said, I just say them because well I guess I just could.”

You hadn’t accepted his apology there and then. Although you could see the remorse on Aegon’s face. The guilt was really eating him up.

For the course of the next few days, you’d say hello, warming up to him which he appreciated, having some surprise on his face when you acknowledged him and a half hearted smile.

Aegon took the initiation to better himself. He distanced himself from his “friends” and even completed the assignment himself. He showed up to his classes, even the ones that “bore” him.

He began to have conversations with you, asking how you were and how your day was. And naturally overtime, you began to warm up to him. He took a keen interest in you.

He’d definitely spoil you with small things & remember key dates.

Eventually, you began to spare time with Aegon, showed up to social events with him. Your friends were skeptical of him at first, although overtime, he won them over also.

You supported Aegon with his studies as from time to time he struggled.

He was the first one to say “I love you” and he was extremely cautious with you the first time you were intimate. Although you assured him this time, it was different.

Aegon would definitely spoil you, taking you to the finest bars, restaurants that he’d been well accustomed to.

You guys would go on dates every weekend, just travel. Wherever you go, he goes.

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader

Aemond would definitely be your rival in class, your competition. He didn’t know this, although in your mind, you’d have the goal to beat him in an exam or an assignment.

He was just as smart and competitive as you, he took pride in his work.

He wasn’t widely known across campus, although most people were intimidated by him. And to some degree, you yourself was also found him fearsome.

He didn’t really have many close friends, just a few acquaintances here and there.

He rarely was seen taking extracurricular activities unless it was some sort of sport, I could see him taking a combat sport as a hobby, which made him seem even more dangerous.

Often you found him isolated in a corner in the University library, immersed in a novel.

He would always notice you, although neither of you made the effort to exchange words.

Until one day, a novel you’d heard so much about that you were desperate to read was no where to be found.

“I swear it was available.” You asked the librarian whom was checking to see the book’s availability.

“I’m afraid it seems someone’s already borrowed the book, perhaps you can ask them to borrow it after they’ve finished.”

“Well, whom currently has it?”

“Aemond.”

Fuck, you thought.

You’d contemplated buying the book externally, although these novels and textbooks nowadays cost an arm and leg. Besides, it wasn’t a terrible thing to ask for something, it’s not like it was his to keep, right?

You’d been planning all day the right time to ask Aemond, seeking him out.

When the moment came, you’d blurted out his name, from across the empty hall, and instantly he turned. To some degree, you could sense he was surprised, and began walking over towards you slowly. You could feel the courage you’d built up during the day rapidly fade, and you were stumbling at your words.

“Yes, Y/N.”

He knew your name. We’ll of course he did, you had classes together, you’d mentally registered.

“I-I was wondering if after you’re done with reading that book,” you gestured, “I could borrow it after, if that’s okay.”

A small smile appeared on his face, and he began to nod his head.

“I have a better idea, why don’t we meet in the library and read it together, perhaps we can even discuss about it.”

You were taken back. Although he left you there, without even having your approval. It seemed it was more of an order than a request.

As if your body and mind had been taken over, immediately you rushed to the library after class, waiting for him in the usual spot you’d find Aemond.

He found that quite sweet, the small things he’d noticed you did. Overtime, you guys became quite open and close, discovering things about each other, that you’d never thought or realised.

Aemond was the opposite of what you’d envisioned in your mind, he actually cared, or essentially he cared about you.

He’d disclosed things he’d noticed about you that you didn’t realise… He was watching you.

“I was always curious about you, Y/N. Just never thought the interest would be mutual.”

He would recommend you his favourite novels, and would passionately discuss them with you after having read them.

He loved the stimulating conversations you’d share, he found you so intriguing.

He would start to show his affection naturally. Putting his arm around you as you walked around campus, and after introducing your friends to him, they immediately warmed up to him.

He’d definitely give you his jackets or share his coat with you, as you both read.

You’d lay on his chest.

The more you become comfortable with Aemond, he becomes comfortable with you. That’s his way of showing how he trusts you.

He’s always chilling at your dorm more than his own.

Coffee dates becomes a tradition for you both.

[lazyveran]

Azutara-Prompt: Azula flirts with Katara during their fight in Ba Sing Se, completely by accident and/or completely oblivious that she she actually did flirt

this was a fun request! thank you!

“Is this all you’ve truly settled for?” The princess’ voice is strange – sharp, mocking, with an inflection that begs its geniality.

Katara grits her teeth. She’s only heard this girl speak twice before – both situations had ended in near failure. It wouldn’t happen again. Whatever she was going to say—

“Think, Water Tribe – what does he offer you?” Fast feet, dancing past her ice shards. “I could give you more – the Fire Nation could give you everything.”

She dared. She dared. “As if I would ever take anything from the likes of you.”

Sharp smiles and fast claws, Katara intercepts a knife of blue fire. Sweat breaks out as flame dissipates into her bending – when had it gotten so humid?

“Come, now.” She pauses, but briefly. They were stood meters away from each other. Katara can hear Aang, clashing with the screams of the Prince. What was— “I could fulfil your every desire.”

What?

Katara blinks. Focus wrenched back to the fire bender. “I don’t—”

It’s too sudden, the way the Princess flits in close, too close, too fast. Katara quickly backpedals. She knows she can’t beat her in hand-to-hand, it would be mad to even try. The cavern is huge, but she can’t leave range of the rivers. A wheel of fire flushes past her head.

It was too hot to even think. Sweat drips from her brow.

“Haven’t you ever thought about it?” The blasted girl continues, close enough now that her voice has quietened. Close enough she can trace the elegant curve of her brow. Katara weaves water in front, breaks off her approach. The Princess smirks. “How divine you would look in red?”

Oh. Oh, there was no way. Katara flings an ice pike the length of her forearm, watches it melt into nothing.

She couldn’t get into her head. She wouldn’t. It shouldn’t work on her—

“Think, Water Tribe. The Avatar pales in comparison. Let me show you.”

She was flirting.

She was flirting.

An ever-so-slightly hysterical feeling rises in her throat. It almost erupts into an ever-so hysterical laugh. To think, the Princess of the Fire Nation was attempting to manipulate her by flirting.

She almost preferred the Prince’s methods of manipulation. At least then she hadn’t been battling a blush.

“I’m never going to be your—” Katara’s voice strangles. Her what, exactly? Did she dare assume? “Trophy wife.” She squeaks, lamely, pathetically, not at all suited for the battle-to-the-death they were locked in.

The Princess suddenly stutters, then slows to a complete halt. A whisper of something in her freakish, golden eyes.

“What?”

There was simply no way. Humiliation burns her throat.

“You— you—!” She flings a sheet of water at the Princess. Fire burns through it, a frazzled girl on the other side. “You dare to propose something like that.”

It could have been comical, really, how the fire bender seems to hiccup.  

“That’s…” She blinks. Then, “Well. Perhaps my words are wasted on Water Tribe stupidity.”

The way she spits the words entirely lacks the ferocity of before. Katara almost drops her defensive stance to gesture, frantic and bemused, at her. What on earth was happening?

“Stupidity?!”

“You clearly aren’t listening to my words.”

Katara wants to scream. “As if I would ever listen to Fire Nation scum.”

The bemused something in the Princess’ eye melts into nothing. Cruel smirk, sharp eyes, blue fire cutting through the rock before her, all return in a blink.

Katara grits her teeth at the renewed assault and pushes the clear, stupid flirting from her mind.  

[alanjeffbrainrot]

The Moment Alan Finds Out

Authors note: this is a section of a longer form fic I’m writing. Let me know your thoughts !

CW// mentions of SA

“I was bitched, Alan. I wasn’t meant to be like this” Jeff spits coldly, a guarded look immediately glazing over his eyes. “If you don’t want me anymore, I’d understand.”

Tucking himself back into Charlie’s arms to avoid Alan’s gaze, jeff closed himself off again.

“You were…. What ? By who ?” Alan sputters out, clearly confused and trying to make sense of the situation in front of him. Alan knew that bitching was a process that could be done by choice, but with the way Jeff was reacting to talking about it, he begins to get the sinking feeling that that is not the case here.

“Who the fuck do you think !” Jeff shouts back, exasperated at his alpha not understanding. He doesn’t get it, he never would. He would never want someone like you. A freak, unnatural, unlovable….. Jeff’s thoughts quickly falling down an all too familiar rabbit hole. Jeff’s body begins shaking, the combination of emotions and Alan’s heavy scent tinted with anger proving to be too much for the omega.

Angry ? Our alpha is angry Jeff’s omega begins protesting in his head. Go to him, we need to make him not angry anymore. But Jeff ignored his omega, just burrying himself further into Charlie’s arms.

“Please don’t hate me” Jeff whispers. “Please, please I didn’t mean to trick you, I was going to tell you before but then last night started and I just-“

“Trick me ?” Alan exclaims, “you can’t be serious Jeff” the man’s voice sounding more broken and sad than the anger tinged tone he had been expecting.

Curious, Jeff begins detaching himself from his brother and finally turns to face his alpha head on. “Well, why else would you be mad ? You want to settle down with a real omega but instead you got…. me”

Both alphas just stare at jeff. Charlie’s in quiet sadness, knowing that these fears were not new for Jeff. Every time the conversation of Jeff having a possible partner in the future was posed it was always brushed off with a dismissive “nobody wants a fake omega, it’s fine phi. I’m okay alone”.

Alan’s, on the other hand, is one of disbelief. “Jeff, baby, I’m not mad at you” Alan states, clear and pointed to ensure his omega did not misunderstand. “I’m mad at the scum of the earth that did this to you without your consent. I’m mad at the alpha that made you believe you’d never be good enough, never be wanted. I’m mad that I didn’t meet you sooner, I-“ stopping his rant Alan looks down, taking a deep breath to try and collect himself.

Taking a tentative step forward, Alan watches Jeff to judge his reaction. When there is none, he takes another step, slowly lessoning the gap between the two. Alan reaches his hands out but doesn’t quite touch Jeff, giving the younger the choice to be touched or not. To Alan’s relief, Jeff tentatively reaches out and takes hold of his hand and begins absentmindedly playing with it in front of him.

“I wish I could take all those thoughts out of your head, but I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to show you how wrong those thoughts are. Baby, I adore you. I don’t want anyone but you. You’re Alan’s boy, yeah ? Thought you had a lifetime subscription.”

A soft huff leaves Jeff’s mouth as a peers up at his alpha. His big, thoughtful, and unbearably cheesy alpha.

The couple spend a minute just looking at each other, trying to read every emotion and thought that’s crossing the others mind. They are only taken out of the trance when a quiet cough is heard from behind them, Charlie awkwardly shifting between feet.

“Well. Now that this appears to be resolved, I’m gonna….” Charlie says while vaguely gesturing towards the door. “You, take care of my brother, and you” he says pointedly turning his body towards Jeff, “call me if you need me. Anything at all. Yeah ?”

“Yeah phi, I know” Jeff confirms quietly while nodding. “Thank you.”

Charlie beams at his brother before sending a final pointed look at Alan, one that easily conveyed the hurt him and I’ll take your balls conversation Charlie had yet to be able to have in full with the older.

Giving Charlie a goodbye hug proved to be more difficult with Alan’s hand still in his, but Jeff wasn’t willing to give up the comfort and warmth of his alphas touch yet.

The front door shuts behind Charlie and suddenly Jeff of very aware of the fact that they’re alone again. Taking a steadying breath, Jeff grips Alan’s hands tighter in a desperate attempt to ground himself.

“Let’s go to the couch nu, we should talk” Alan says quietly while gently tugging the boy out of the entry way and leading him into the living room.

The two end up sitting facing each other, close enough that their knees were touching and so Jeff could continue playing with Alan’s hand he had pulled back into his lap, as if on instinct.

After a minute of just sitting together, Alan breaks the silence, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Almost immediately Jeff’s body tenses up, freezing in place as if that will make Alan take the question back. Alan uses his thumb to stroke across the back of Jeff’s hand, hoping to calm the boy in front of him.

Taking a shaky breath, Jeff slowly looks up at Alan, “I was 16 when I presented as an alpha. Everyone was shocked since I was smaller and more quiet than everyone else. Tony didn’t like omegas, they weren’t valuable to him, but I had my powers so he thought he had gotten lucky with a special omega. I thought presenting as an alpha would have saved me but-“ Jeff is cut off by sob being caught in the back of his throat. Alan brings his hand, the one not currently being crushed in Jeff’s tight grip, up to his face and begins brushing the tears away. Not speaking, just offering silent support until Jeff had the courage to continue.

“I spent two years being berated for not being good enough. How I would never be able to make an omega happy. It wasn’t until a few weeks before my 18th birthday that I realized something was wrong. Tony introduced me to this alpha and required I listened to him. The day before I turned 18 I was locked into a small room with nothing but a bed and a few pieces of the alphas clothing. I guess they were hoping I would start nesting at some point ? I don’t remember much from the full experience. Tony came in before the alpha to tell me to be good, to just let it happen. That, if it was possible to bitch a special alpha, I’d finally be useful to him. He left and the alpha came in and well… I’m sure you’re familiar with the bitching process.”

They sit in silence for a moment, both trying to process the depths of pain Jeff just revealed.

“I should’ve fought back” Jeff says after a moment, “I should’ve done something, I-“

Jeff is cut off by a wounded noise coming from Alan. He looks up to see Alan furiously shaking his head.

“You did everything you could, you can’t blame yourself. Can I…. Can I ask you a question ?”

Jeff nods, waiting patiently for his alpha to gather his thoughts.

“Why did they wait until you were 18?”

Puzzled at the question, Jeff peers into Alan’s eyes.

“With everything else they did to you” Alan continues, trying to explain where his curiosity came from, “I’m sure experimenting on two underage alphas was the least of their worries.”

Jeff stays quiet, staring at their hands still intwined between them.

Alan seems to understand all the same. “How old was he” he asks.

“I don’t really know, early forties maybe? It was the son of an investor who had never been able to hold onto an omega. They were sure that, if it was possible and he was the one that did it, my omega would attach to him. When it became clear that was not the case they went the other route. Making it clear that I was a fake omega, that no alpha would really want me. That he was settling for me as if I wasn’t in that situation because of him. Charlie rescued me after my second heat. We both knew that if I stayed it was only a matter of time until I got pregnant and we also knew I would never give my baby up to Tony. At the time I would have preferred him killing me over my disobedience then let him get his hands on my pup.”

A heavy silence settles over the couple before a soft sob was heard from Jeff, the severity of the situation settling in his bones for the first time. He crumbles forward, leaning all of his weight on Alan’s chest, not caring about the wet patch he would inevitably leave on Alan’s shirt.

“Shh, baby, you’re safe now. Nobody’s going to hurt you while I’m around” Alan mumbles into Jeff’s ear. He continues talking to the boy while running his hands through his hair.

Jeff soon calms down, small pants leaving his mouth as he tries to catch his breath. Alan separates their bodies slightly to get a good look at Jeff’s face, wiping away the last stray tears with his thumbs.

“I love you. No matter what, I love you” Alan says, Jeff almost feeling a need to shy away from the intensity of his gaze.

Jeff’s insecurities, on the other hand, are screaming in protest in his head. “Even though I’m…. This?” Jeff says, gesturing to himself.

“Even if you were still an alpha, I would be head over heels in love with you. I love you, Jeff. Subgender is just another piece that makes you. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, that’s all that matters.”

Jeff stays quiet, contemplating what his alpha had said. “I’m getting there” Jeff settles on as a reply, pulling his alpha ever so slightly closer to him. “You help” he finishes with, a subtle pink dusting the boys cheeks as he says it but despite the embarrassment, Jeff refuses to break eye contact.

“Yeah ?” Alan asks, voice an octave lower as he leans closer to his omega.

“Yeah” Jeff breathes out before closing the gap and crashing their lips together.

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (9/19/2024) Episode: Market Mayhem

Before Luigi had a chance to sit down and start overanalyzing his SimTube trends he got an unexpected phone call.

It seemed Grandpa Steven’s spirit had popped into the world of the living for a visit and wanted to see his family at the Flea Market. Since his son had less opportunity to visit with his ancestors than Luigi had growing up at the homestead, he quickly agreed.

“We’ll be right there.” he said, hanging up and turning to his wife. “We have to go see my grandpa… I think you’ll like him; he was an author.”

“Steven Lothario?” Noemi asked, “I’ve enjoyed a few of his books. As I recall he was a recluse who preferred the company of his llama to throngs of adoring fans; I think we’ll get along just fine.” Luigi wasn’t sure he’d characterize his grandfather as a recluse, but he wasn’t going to contradict her on that perceived similarity.

Arriving at the market Luigi quickly said hi to the ghost who Noemi recognized from his book jackets before introducing her and Skye “It’s a pleasure to meet you” Steven told her, then turned to his great-grandson “Well hello Skye! Just like your shirt, hmm. Is that your favorite color?”

Noemi cringed inwardly at the crowd of people gathered at the market across the way, but she didn’t get a chance to dwell on it. Suddenly someone called out “I can’t believe it! It’s the Wedding Dancers!” Luigi headed over to say hello while Noemi waved shyly.

Focused on the stranger, neither parent saw Skye panic as his grandfather went to give him a hug, but they heard Steven yelp as their son kicked him.

Luigi didn’t break away from taking a selfie with the fan, judging that he could deal with the latest hijinks of his tiny terror afterward.

Noemi jumped in right away but was distracted from the actual sources of the commotion when she spotted a paparazzo eagerly snapping photos inches from the angry toddler and the spirit rubbing his smarting shin, with her seemingly uncaring husband directly in the background.

She’d heard Luigi complain about his public image often enough to know that this wouldn’t be a good look, so she stepped directly between him and the camera as she apologized to the ancestral spirit. “I’m so sorry, he’s been having some issues dealing with his feelings lately.”

Steven nodded, rubbing his leg “I had two of my own, I know how it is. He’s stronger than he looks!”  He smiled fondly at the pouting baby, whose mother had turned her back to the photographer as she scooped him up to scold him for his bad behavior.

Luigi finished with the fan and headed back their way. Putting Skye down, Noemi turned to him and explained what had happened.

Before he could say anything Steven piped up “Paparazzi!? Oh no. I’d hate to have a picture like that get into the paper.” Luigi knew his grandfather had always been shy about public attention, rarely taking interviews, preferring to let his work speak for itself. Even Luigi wasn’t thrilled about this interaction. As much as he loved the spotlight, he had a strong desire to control how his image and reputation were presented in the media.

“They’re the scum of the earth!” he agreed. “Why don’t all of you go into the gaming center, get out of the open? I’ll see if I can talk her into using the least unflattering images.”

Noemi gave him a worried look but was feeling too overwhelmed just then to argue. “Please don’t do anything rash” she pleaded as she left.

“Come on little man” Steven told Skye as they headed inside “We’ll find a table and I can show you the book I wrote for your daddy when he was just a little bit younger than you are now.”

Luigi spotted his target standing a few steps away, reviewing the footage on her camera. Just seeing the look of satisfaction on her face made his temperature rise, but he did his best to control his anger as he headed over to have a little chat with the unwanted intruder into his family reunion.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[f0point5]

if I was asked point blank at a press conference how it was having Donald in my team’s garage when they (or liberty I’ve heard both) invited him idk what I’d say either tbh. And I think Donald is the scum of the earth. I agree with you that lando def doesn’t know/care much about US politics (I couldn’t tell you anything about UK politics so I def can’t judge him) but it’s also just a weird position to be in from a pr standpoint. you can’t avoid the question but you also don’t want to say/imply bad things about the team. Definitely not great but I also don’t think it’s something to read too much into.

I haven’t seen what he said. But what’s he meant to say?

He’s just…there. What impact did he make on Lando’s day? Probably none. He’s a divisive character sure but he’s like any other high profile guest in the garage, you shake hands, make small talk, go about your business. What is there actually to comment on?

But yeah I mean I presume he will have been briefed to not really say much because PR will have known how controversial a topic Ducky is.

[milf-cinematic-universe]

“I can go anywhere I want, just not home.”

Relationships: Avengers x Reader (platonic)

Inspiration: my tears ricochet by taylor swift

GIF: @buckywiththegoodhair86​

Summary: You are a product of a HYDRA experiment. Years after being held captive by them, you are saved by SHIELD. You join the Avengers in hope of finding a family in them, but what are you supposed to do when they don’t treat you the way you expected them to?

Warnings: angst w/o happy ending, allusions to suicidal thoughts, death, bullying

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“You’re joining the Avengers.”

“What?” you blurted out, staring at Nick Fury with nothing but pure incredulity in your eyes. “With all due respect, I’ve barely been here for a day, Mister Fury.”

“Please, just call me Fury,” the director of SHIELD sighed in exasperation. “Drop that habit of adding titles before people’s names, Y/L/N.”

“Sorry. I can’t help it, you know. I’ve had to do it for the entirety of my time with HYDRA,” you responded. “Still, don’t you think that it’s a little bit too... soon for me to be joining the Avengers?”

“Nonsense,” Fury immediately shut you down. “Your ability to manipulate the elements, along with your resourcefulness, will be beneficial to the team. You’re joining them whether you like it or not.”

“I know that you’re worried, Y/N,” he continued, his tone softening significantly, “but I really believe that joining the Avengers would be a good choice for you.”

“I trust your judgement, Fury,” you offered with a small smile. “I just don’t trust the people.”

“They’re good people, Y/L/N,” Fury assured. “You’ll do great there.”

“I know. They’re Earth’s mightiest heroes,” you told him. “Fine. I’ll give it a shot... but only because I technically owe you a favour for saving me.”

“Thank you. I know this is difficult for you.”

You hummed in affirmation, following Fury as he led you out of his office and consequently into your new life.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ 2 years later ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Fury was wrong.

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong. Joining the Avengers had been a good thing. It’d helped you clear out some of the red that you had gotten on your ledger during your time with HYDRA. However, the Avengers certainly didn’t seem to think the same. If anything, they detested you to their very core.

When you first moved to the compound, the Avengers avoided you like the plague. But, if they were so unfortunate as to bump into you, they would glare daggers at you until you were out of their sight. At first, you’d told yourself that it was alright, that they would eventually warm up to you. You had been a HYDRA assassin, after all. Their hostility towards you was rather understandable.

But things never got better. If anything, they got worse.

Slowly, their hostility began to intensify. It ranged from Steve forgetting to cook you meals (when he cooked for the entire team) to Natasha purposely sabotaging you on missions by violently slamming you into walls or tripping you. You’d tried to raise your annoyance to them a couple of times, but they always brushed you off coldly, telling you that you were overthinking things.

So, now, there you stood in front of Fury, a resignation letter in hand.

“I’m sorry, Fury, but I can’t do it anymore,” you told him, finality evident in your voice. “I’ve tried my best to tolerate their malevolence but it’s been going on for months and… and I’m done.”

“I’m truly sorry that they treated you that way, Y/N,” Fury apologised, a regretful look in his eye. “If I had known that they would—”

“No,” you quickly interjected. “Joining the Avengers was a good thing. Don’t regret telling me to do so. It’s their fault for treating me like utter scum.”

“Where are you going to go now? What will you do?” Fury inquired curiously.

“I don’t know,” you responded honestly. “I guess I didn’t really think that there’d be a day where I will be free.”

“I can get you an apartment somewhere in New York and secure you a job, ” Fury offered.

“That’d be nice, Fury, but you’ve already done so much for me.”

“I don’t mind doing more,” he assured you. “You deserve a break.”

You immediately broke into a small smile.

“Thank you,” you breathed out, gratitude written all over your face. In the blink of an eye, your arms were around Fury, locking him in a warm embrace. “Thank you.”

“You’re lucky you’re not someone else,” he mumbled, earning a chuckle from you as you pulled away. “Take care, Y/N.”

“I will, Fury.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ a year later ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“Tell us what the code is, or else I’ll kill her.”

“Okay, okay! Just… stop aiming at her for now,” Tony exclaimed frantically as he struggled against the ropes binding him to the chair. All around him, Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky were also tied to chairs and rendered useless.

The masked man cackled maniacally before aiming the gun away from Natasha’s forehead.

“Don’t tell him the code, Tony,” Natasha rasped out. “Don’t.”

“How noble of you, sacrificing yourself so that I won’t have access to his technology,” the man taunted. “But, I think you’re forgetting that I have all of you tied up here. If I wanted the code, I’ll just kill all of you one by one until Stark crumbles under the pressure and tells me the code.”

“Depends on whether you have enough bullets,” a foreign voice piped in from behind. Turning around, the man narrowed his eyes when he realised just who it was.

You.

“I see that you’ve returned, Y/L/N,” he growled. “How was your life as a journalist?”

“Pretty good, actually,” you hummed. “Fury chose the right job for me.”

“That’s good to hear, but you’re still going to die,” the man snarled, pulling the trigger.

“Y/L/N!” Sam and Natasha cried out, but you remained unfazed, simply staring at the perpetrator with a raised eyebrow. His eyes widened to the size of saucers when no bullet emerged from the tip of his gun. Angrily, he pulled the trigger again, but still no bullet came for you.

Feigning a look of surprise, you reached into your pocket and pulled out six unused bullets, dropping all of them in front of him in a taunting manner.

“It’s funny how you were the one who conducted the experiments back when I was still with HYDRA, and yet you always forget that I have powers,” you said.

In the blink of an eye, the HYDRA agent was pinned against the wall by an invisible force. You let out a breath of laughter as he struggled.

“Let me go!” he commanded repeatedly. “You’ll regret this!”

“I can assure you I won’t,” you told him as you picked up the gun he dropped and loaded it with the bullets you stole. “Any last words?”

Without waiting for a response, you shot him right between his eyes and let his body crumple to the ground. Moving quickly, you went to release the Avengers from the ropes binding them.

“How the hell did you even know where we were, Y/L/N?” Natasha rasped out.

“Most people usually thank the people who save their lives, you know,” you said. “You’re all over the news. Everyone was talking about the Avengers being taken, and I knew where HYDRA’s last base was, so here I am.”

“Well, thank you, Y/N,” Steve said sincerely.

“Oh, we’re on the first name basis now, Captain?” you gasped in mock surprise. “Because the last time I saw you, you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.”

“Why’d you save us then?” Bucky piped in. “Did you want a favour?”

“First of all, Mister Soldier, I do not need favours from anyone,” you retorted. “Secondly, can’t I just save you out of good will?”

When Natasha let out a grunt of pain, you knew your banter with them had to end.

“Well, you’d better return to the compound and get her some medical assistance,” you pointed out, motioning towards the struggling redhead. “I have a quinjet waiting outside.”

“How do we know that we can trust you?” Bucky demanded skeptically.

“You’ve had more than two years to figure that out,” you snapped, finally unable to tolerate their endless questioning. “I am being very kind even offering to bring you back to the compound. Do not test my patience.”

They all fell silent, reluctantly following you as you led them to the quinjet you’d arrived in. In less than two hours, you’d landed outside the compound. As you got up from the pilot’s seat, you realised that most of them had succumbed to their exhaustion, with only Natasha barely awake.

“Come on,” you said softly, gently putting Natasha’s arm over your shoulders and making sure that you didn’t aggravate her injuries whilst helping her up. “I’ll wake them later.”

“Why are you helping us?” Natasha queried, her voice barely above a whisper. “We treated you like shit.”

“I know,” you breathed. “But you were the closest thing I had to a family, and I just wanted to see you all one last time.”

“One last time?” Natasha repeated. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sick,” you finally admitted as you reached the medical bay. “I won’t live to see next year.”

“What?” Natasha blurted out.

“Seems like having superpowers doesn’t stop you from inheriting cancer,” you sighed, giving Natasha a sad smile. “My mother had lung cancer, and I’m just as unlucky.”

“Tony can probably help you, you know,” Natasha tried to help. “His technology is beyond this world—”

“It’s the final stage,” you admitted. “The doctor said I have less than a month left. If I had started treatment earlier than maybe I would have a chance with Stark’s tech, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Natasha demanded as you helped patch her wound. “Do you not want to live?”

“Not since I got taken by HYDRA, no,” you replied. “Don’t give me that disapproving look. You know damn well you guys didn’t help.”

“I…” Natasha trailed off before lowering her voice, switching to a tone of remorse. “I’m really sorry.”

“A bit too late for that, hm?” You hummed. “It’s okay. I came to terms with it a long time ago. I’ll get to see my parents again anyway.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Natasha inquired, her eyes shining with concern. “Tell us. We’ll help you.”

“Stop getting yourself into trouble. I’d rather live the rest of my living days in peace,” you deadpanned, shaking your head. “Will you be able to handle this wound alone? I am going to wake the rest.”

Natasha nodded, and you left immediately, heading back to the quinjet and waking the other Avengers from their deep slumber. However, by the time they were all fully awake and aware of their surroundings, you were gone. Back in the medical bay, Natasha watched wistfully as you jumped from rooftop to rooftop, fading into the dark of the night.

[robinrites]

Chapter 6

Little bit of a shorter chapter because it's a flashback and it just felt like a natural ending spot, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!

CW: Suggestive touch (ie dragging a hand down someone's face), starvation, sensory deprivation, torture

When Superhero stormed into Villain’s cell, he didn’t even need to say anything to let Villain know he was mad. He slammed the door shut and marched up to Villain, grabbing him off the ground by his shirt to yell in his face. 

“Useless piece of shit that can’t do anything right!” Superhero yelled before dropping Villain back to the ground. “We had a simple plan to take down this group of criminal shits like yourself,” Superhero paused to kick Villain in the side several times. “And you know what happened? You’re precious Hero decided to spare their lives and send them to prison.” He lifts Villain off the ground by his shirt again. “You’re lucky you know that right? I’m giving you a chance to be better, unlike those guys, I would’ve just killed ‘em. They weren’t special like you are.” Superhero’s free hand brushed down Villain’s face, sending a chill down their spine. Superhero dropped Villain again. 

“Now! I need to get this anger out somehow, I’m sure you understand Villain. I mean I was set to kill like five bad guys. Instead, I just get to teach you how to stop being the scum of the earth, so I’m sure you get it.” Villain whimpered, but nodded anyway, while he pulled his hands over his face to protect it. 

“I’m feeling in the mood for ‘human punching bag’ what do you think?” Villain fought back a sob, but nodded again, knowing it would be the least bad option he’d be given tonight. Superhero smirked, then quickly got to work attaching and detaching the different chains, something he’s gotten very fast at. Somedays, Superhero will gradually lift Villain’s arms above his head, not tonight though. His wrists were quickly torn above his head, the mechanism continuing until Villain’s feet were an inch above the ground. Somewhere along the way, Villain heard his shoulder pop, then a wave of pain washed over him. 

“Oh Villain, crying out in pain before we’ve even started? That’s not good. For you I mean, for me it’s fantastic.” Superhero smirked, rolling his sleeves up slightly. 

Every hit managed to jostle his shoulder, no matter where he was hit. Superhero left him ungagged this time, delighting in every scream he managed to get from Villain. No amount of begging managed to dissuade Superhero, if anything it only prolonged the torture. After nearly 30 minutes of this, Superhero finally left Villain alone, leaving him hanging so he could easily see every new bruise and cut that littered his torso. His legs had been the brunt of far less than his torso, yet they were still speckled with bruises of varying colors. Eventually, Superhero came back in, far calmer, and let Villain down for the night. 

Superhero left Villain alone for another period of time, the time itself irrelevant to Villain, but heartbreaking to Hero. 

Eventually, Superhero returned and once again strung Villain up by their wrists. “I feel like something’s going to go down.” Superhero had said, frenzied while gagging and blinding Villain. “I don’t know when, but I feel like the villain’s of this city are up to no good, so unfortunately, I’m going to be too busy for you for a bit.” Villain whimpered, terrified about being put into a state of sensory deprivation for an unknown amount of time. “Oh don’t worry dear,” Superhero grabs Villain by the chin, “I’ll stop in every couple of days to give you a break okay?” Tears begin to roll down Villain’s face as heavy headphones find their way onto his ears. 

True to his word, Superhero stopped by every couple of days. He would take the headphones off and tell Villain about what he had been up to the past couple of days, then inject him with some kind of drug. Then repeat again and again and again. In total, Villain thinks he came in every 4 or so days for nearly two weeks. 

Then he remembers feeling the cell door swing open, practically the only sensation he knew to expect when Superhero came to visit. The only indicator, or warning, that Villain was no longer alone always sent shivers down his spine. In spite of the fact he couldn’t hear, Villain still tried to beg Superhero to let him down. He whimpered as he could feel someone standing in front of him. A quiet picking noise filled the room, then Villain felt himself fall, only to be caught by strong arms and be gently lowered to the ground. The noise happened again, then his ankles felt freed. Slowly the blindfold, gag and headphones are removed from his face. Bright light blinded him until they were barely adjusted. He opened his eyes and saw the lights illuminating the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. 

“H-help.” His voice cracked, it’d been nearly a week since Superhero had last given him water. 

“Can you walk?” The man asked, resulting in Villain shaking his head. 

“S-Sorry.” 

“Hey, nothing to be sorry about. Can I carry you?” 

Villain doesn’t know why he trusted this man, but he found himself nodding anyway. “W-Who are you?” 

Villain barely heard the man start to respond before passing out in his arms.

[beyonddmythoughtssworld]

Broken Hearts Club || Part I

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x Reader, slight!JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: You wake up next to the last person you would’ve ever expected, not knowing this is the beginning of the storm that is Rafe Cameron.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: 18+ content, kissing, touching, slight smut (+oral), drinking, cursing (That’s it I think? Lmk if there’s more but I don’t think there is lol)

Enjoy the first part to this quick little series I’ve been thinking about!

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you’re not in your room.

You sit up, immediately being constricted from the arm wrapped around you Looking around the room, you realize you don’t even know whose room this is. Your eyes scan the surroundings. Whoever you slept with doesn’t keep a lot in his room, everything neatly put up like he’s ready for a military check at any moment. The only mess in the room is from the pile of clothes thrown carelessly around, which reminded you of your own lack of clothing.

Shit.

Willing to bite the bullet and find out who was lying next to you, you slowly turned my head to the man laying next to sleeping soundly. Laying in all his glory was no other than Rafe mother fucking Cameron. What in the actual-

You can’t even begin to describe the tumultuous relationship you shared with the kook asshole. You can’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve witnessed him driving his fist into one of your best friends’ faces, let alone the amount of times you’ve driven your fist into his. Being what he considered the scum of the Earth, the only words you two have ever exchanged included phrases that would make a nun blush. You hated him and everything he stood for. He was an entitled, arrogant person who felt like the world was at his fingertips. And it was.

So what the hell possessed you to sleep with him?

The only thought on your mind at this point is to get out of here without waking him up, wanting to avoid whatever morning after conversation would happen. Taking a deep breath, you grab his arm lightly and begin to move it off of you. Once you get it off you, you hold it up as you slip from under it and off the bed before placing it back in your spot. Finally able to breathe, you move onto your next task. Getting your damn clothes.

Finding our dress immediately, you curse at the man laying down silently at the ruined fabric, the rip going from the where the zipper was at the top of the dress all the way to the bottom. You look around and see a white button up not too far, and hurry to put that on since he owes you a damn outfit anyway. You find one of your heels laying next to the door, quickly picking it up and looking for the matching pair.

“It’s by the bathroom door.”

Your entire body freezes where it stands. Maybe if you don’t move-

“I know you’re still there. Your loudness is kind of hard to ignore.”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you rush to the bathroom door and pick up the second heel, slipping them both on before beginning to walk to the door to leave.

“Not even gonna offer me eggs?”, the kook sarcastically asks, rolling over and leaning on his elbows. The blanket slipped down to his waist as he sat up, and you caught yourself watching the sheet fall down to reveal his physique, immediately bringing yourself to look at his eyes before he notices. Based on the smirk that graces his face, you know that your prayers aren't answered.

“I think you got enough last night, don’t you?”, you quipped back, his eyes now taking the time to scan you as you stand in his flannel. Unlike you, his eyes don’t avert even knowing you notice he’s staring at your chest, and your stomach churns at the thought that nothing is left to the imagination anymore. Scoffing, you cross your arms over your chest to maintain any sort of dignity, turning around, “Well as fun as this is, I’m gonna go.”

Walking out the room before he could say anything to add any embarrassment to this situation, you make a beeline for the stairs and run down them. You make it to the front door, thanking the universe for the lack of cars in the driveway. The only vehicle being Rafe’s truck, and you walk up the passenger side and peek in. Sure enough, your phone and purse are both in the seat, and you thank drunk Rafe for leaving the truck unlocked. Quickly grabbing your things, you begin walking towards the direction of your house before realizing you had no idea how to get there from here. You walk a couple of blocks from Tanneyhill before deciding to call JJ.

You pull out your phone, taking the low percentage as a boost in speed and going to your contact list and clicking on the first name in your favorites. The phone rings a record three times before a groggy voice answers, and it’s only then you ask yourself what time it is.

”What the hell are you calling for at the ass crack of dawn?” JJ Maybank’s morning voice is enough to make your brain short-wire, taking a second to recover before telling him you need him to pick you up. After a small back and forth that ended with you just telling him you’re gonna send him your location and stressing your near dead phone, the other man grumbled a quick okay and you hung up, sitting down at the curb because there’s no way you can get any lower.

He gets there in fifteen minutes, stopping his bike right in front of you and raising his eyebrows at your choice of clothing. Standing and dusting off your ass, you glare at him, “Don’t even think about saying anything to me right now.”

“Wasn’t going to,” he replies, scanning you before nodding his head to behind him. You straddle the bike, wrapping your arms around his lean body. “You alright?”

Nodding and leaning against his shoulder, he takes the hint and starts driving away. When you make it to your house, you ask him to come inside out of courtesy, but can’t deny the relief when he says he needs to get ready for work. Sending him off a promise of visiting him later, you run up the small steps to your house.

After the world's longest shower, you lay down in your bed and actually give yourself time to think about the events of last night. You weren’t too drunk to not remember the night fully, but you were drunk enough to think last night was a good idea. In your defense, you weren’t exactly in the state to make the best decisions considering you spent all of yesterday having to deal with the incessant will they won’t they, never ending saga between JJ and Kie. The familiar feeling of jealousy began to bubble in your chest when remembering the way he spun her around after successfully surfing the biggest wave of the day, something he used to reserve for you.

You feel pathetic being the girl helplessly in love with her best friend, but here you are. You don’t even remember how it happened. One day he was JJ, the boy who you can’t remember not being there at any time in your life. Then all of a sudden he was JJ, the man who made your heart feel like it was gonna beat out of your chest if he kept standing that close. You’ve always loved him, but in the last two years that love went from platonic to lovesick puppy extremely quickly. It doesn’t help that the man looks like he was carefully crafted by God himself.

It was easier to ignore the attraction when you could write it off as a meaningless crush, but the last few months have proved that the crush has done nothing but grow into full on feelings, wishing it was you he came to when he was drunk at a bonfire instead of the endless tourists. Wishing it was you who he looked at was a goddess like he did Kie. Wishing it was you he fell over.

The last straw had been last night. You were hanging at the Chateau with the group, sitting around the fire and laughing at Pope’s poor attempt at chugging a beer. While he’s come a long way, he messed up at his attempt to beat John B in a contest of who could finish faster. Choking on the beer, he spits it up prompting everyone to break out in laughter.

“Okay, that was depressing. Watch and learn boys.”

JJ quickly stabs his knife into the side of the can, tipping it over and drinking the beer in record time. He bowed, everyone clapping mockingly before breaking out in another round of drunk laughter. Suddenly, Sarah gasps at the sound of a song playing, turning up the speaker and grabbing you and Kie to a stand before dancing.

The boys soon join in, JJ coming over and grabbing your wrist before twirling you around, pulling you into his chest as you both laughed drunkenly. It’s moments like these that make your heart stop, and you’d curse the boy if you didn’t relish in the feeling of his attention.

Everyone gets lost in the moment of dancing, you all switch partners at one point in the other. Take a second to step off to the side to pour another shot, you look around and laugh at Pope’s sad ass robot moves, Cleo looking at like he’s lost his mind. Sarah and John B have started slow dancing, and you almost puke at the cuteness of it all. Your eyes drift to JJ as he dances with Kie, and it seems innocent enough. That is, until he basically presses his face into her chest at the motion of motorboating them. She lightly pushes his head away, but you can see the faint blush on her cheeks.

The familiar pang returns to your chest, but you down a shot and force your eyes away and you make your way back into the group to dance. When JJ attempts to dance with you again, you can’t help but compare the way he dances with you to how he was with Kiara. He danced with her like he was always knocking on the door to see if it’s unlocked, and he danced with you like- well like a friend. Like that door for him is locked. You do everything to push the thoughts from your head, forcing a beer down before quickly chugging another.

The drunker you get though, the more you’re able to overthink their every interaction. Like when she begins to get cold and he doesn’t hesitate to hand her his hoodie. Or when she asks for another round of shots and he gets up like he has a fire under his ass to pour them another round. Or when he takes your former seat next to her when everything dies down.

Eventually, it was either get the hell out of there or embarrass yourself. You make up some dumb excuse about your mom texting you about the missing alcohol, the pogues protesting but letting you go knowing how your mom is. When JJ offers to walk you home you almost want to take him up on his offer, just to get a little slither of his time. But the thought is quickly replaced with how pathetic that sounded, and you turned it down, walking away with a promise that you were sober enough to make it home.

At the time you were, but then you remembered the liquor in your bag and decided to take a detour.

Which brought you to your run in with the infamous kook.

•••

Stumbling down the beach, you take a swig of the bottle of Apple Crown you stole from your mom’s cabinet earlier that day. You brought it with the intention of sharing with everyone instead of living off the kegger and bad tasting beer, but now you were halfway through the bottle crying like a loser walking alone on the beach.

The alcohol burns as it goes down your throat, and you welcome the feeling. You’ll do anything to numb the pain in your chest, so if getting drunk off your ass will stop yourself from caring about the blonde who takes over your every thought then so be it. Not feeling like walking anymore, you drop down to the beach and laugh at the drops of liquor that spilled on your lap.

“Oops,” you giggle to yourself, taking another sip.

You lay back on the sand, being mindful of the bottle to not tip it over and lose anymore alcohol you’ll no doubt need, you look up at the sky. The moon is full and illuminating, and you laugh to yourself again when you notice how blurry the stars are.

“Shit.”

You sit up at the sudden voice, slightly swaying at all of the blood rushing to your brain. Holding your arms out as if to steady you, you regain your vision and look at where you think the voice came from. Standing there in a tux was Rafe, his white shirt halfway unbuttoned, the collar hanging as if he'd spent half the night pulling at it in frustration. His dress shoes are in his hands, and he seems just as shocked to see you as you are to see him.

“What are you doing here?” you break the silence, wincing at the slur in your tone. His gaze hardens, “This is my spot.”

“Your spot? What- daddy bought your own private section of the beach?” you bite back, hating yourself for the moment of guilt you feel at snapping at the guy who at the moment hasn’t done anything to you. While you normally don’t make it a habit to feel bad for a kook, you know your anger is mostly at the person who you call your best friend. Rafe is just closer in proximity.

“Wow, even when drunk I can still count on you to be a bitch.” he spits at you before plopping down next to you. You look at him incredulously, “Why are you sitting next to me if I’m such a bitch?”

“Like I said, this is my spot,” he looks at you, and you have to force yourself to not break eye contact, staring him down. “You want to be alone, you leave.”

Scoffing, you begin to stand before quickly realizing standing was not an option right now. Going back to your sitting position, “I don’t want to leave.”

“Well then share,” he holds out his hand. You open your mouth to curse at him, but the look on his face stops the words. He looks tired, but there’s something else in his eyes that you can't place but makes you hand the bottle over without argument.

He takes a gulp of the liquor, handing it back to you. You do the same, and the two of you hand the bottle back and forth until it’s almost empty. You offer him the last drop, immediately taking it when he denies. If the alcohol wasn’t hitting before, it definitely is now. Even though you pride yourself on not being a lightweight, you can't ignore that over half the bottle was gone before you even had a drinking partner.

“So, is there a reason you’re alone getting drunk in the middle of the beach?” he breaks the silence for the second time that night, and it was only then you thought about how comfortable the silence felt. Maybe it was the alcohol.

“I don’t know, is there a reason you’re getting drunk in the middle of the beach?”

He laughs at that, and it’s the first genuine laugh you’ve ever heard from him. You find that you don’t mind the sound, lightly joining in on the laughter. It dies down, and you both look at each other as if having some silent agreement that you’re both there for the same reason. To not be somewhere else.

You don’t remember who kissed who. One second he was leaning in- or did you lean in?- and the next your lips were lightly touching, testing the waters. Once getting the confirmation that neither planned on pulling away in disgust, the next kiss shared was hungrier, the both of you pressing your lips together roughly. All thoughts leave from your mind as you deepen the kiss, biting his lip. He makes a noise that’s between a groan and a growl, pushing harder against you.

Rafe’s hands make their way to your hips, lifting you up easily and placing you on his lap. Pulling away for a breath, you look at Rafe as he does you, and you see the silent question swimming in his irises. This is the time to pull away and forget this even happened before it goes to far. You grab his jaw, slamming your lips back on to his with a moan, pushing him down until he is laying on the sand, his hands moving from your hips to your ass, gripping it and assisting your movements as you begin to grind on him.

The heat between your legs grows as you feel him start to harden, the hand not on his jaw moving its way down his chest to his pants, unbuckling them. Abandoning that plan, you begin to finish the unbuttons of his shirt. You move the kisses from his mouth, to his jaw and down to his neck where you take your time, relishing in the way he moaned and wrapped his hand in your hair, gripping it to pull your head back up so he can continue kissing you.

He flips you both over, moving your legs apart to make room for him to slot himself between your thighs. While he grinds against you, you go back to the task of removing his pants. His hands have pushed your dress up to your waist, sitting up to take your panties off. You follow his lips, sitting up as well and ignoring the rush to your head, intent on taking these damn pants off. He slaps your hand away, pushing you back down before kissing down your stomach. He nips at your stomach, your hips, the inside of your thighs before settling down. Placing light kisses on your lips, lightly grazing his mouth on where you need him most, you find yourself bucking your hips to get any sort of friction you can.

He slaps your thigh, placing a hand on your stomach to hold you down before circling his tongue on your bundle of nerves. Your legs lightly shake at the sensation of him eating you like a man starved, humming into your holds and lapping at you. Your head throws back when he lightly grazes his teeth over your clit, soothing it over with his tongue and continuing. It’s like your ears are ringing, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of his mouth on you. You’re close to coming at an embarrassingly quick time, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he slips a finger into your clenching hole, letting out a moan of his own at the feeling of your tight walls on his fingers.

Soon enough he’s three fingers deep, tongue lapping quickly at your clit as you moan uncontrollably, begging him for a release. He slaps your thigh once more, and you look down at him to see his eyes already on you. His blue eyes hold yours, and the eye contact remains as you reach your climax, an unspoken promise between you to not look away. As the end of your release comes in waves, you lean back on the sand, eyes closed in satisfaction.

Rafe kisses his way up your stomach slowly, taking his time at your neck just as you did, before kissing you roughly. You moan at the taste, your tongues dancing as you fight for dominance that you inevitably lose as you’re too exhausted to fight for long. The kisses go from heated to slow after a few minutes, the both of you just laying there. He pulls away, pecking your lips a couple of times, “Come home with me.”

You don’t hesitate to say yes.

[seidenbros]

Breaking the Ice - Chapter 17

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey

Summary: “You should come to my place and stay the night,” Jesper said, taking Wylan’s hand outside. He turned to look at his father, and even though he didn’t have to explain anything to him, he added: “Wylan lives further away, so it makes sense that he stays the night with us.” “Of course. It’s only reasonable and then we can have breakfast together.” Colm smiled at both of them and slowly started walking in the direction they had to go. “Are you sure?” Wylan asked, looking at Colm, before he looked up at Jesper again. “Of course I’m sure. You’ll get some clothes from me, that’s not a problem.” Jesper just wanted him by his side.

Warning/Tags: POV Jesper Fahey, POV Wylan van Eck, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Figure skating, Hockey Coach Kaz Brekker, injuries, Jan van Eck is the scum of the Earth, sexual content, implied child abuse

Read on AO3

Christmas was right around the corner, which meant that they would get some downtime from hockey. They’d have the last game of the year on the 23rd, and the next game would be in the new year. That meant, they could really relax a little bit, be with family and friends and do whatever was good for them. In Jesper’s case, he’d definitely spend some of these days training with Wylan. On the one hand, he’d miss it and him if they didn’t do that, and on the other hand, his competitions were starting in the new year, and he wanted to help him a little more than he already had.

Still, they had Christmas to think about, and he was rather sure that Wylan would have to go to dinner at his father’s house again. Oh, he’d love to accompany him or rather steal him away, but by now he knew that he wouldn’t be able to talk Wylan out of it. He had no obligations to a father who treated him like shit, who even hurt him physically and emotionally. Jesper was glad that Wylan had confided in him, had trusted him enough to let him know all that, but it made him hate Jan van Eck even more.

So, when they were on the ice today, Jesper had to breach the subject. He’d talked to Nina and Matthias about this, and had told them that he’d talk to Wylan. Nina could have done the same, sure, but Jesper was seeing him right now, so he could more or less extend the invitation.

“What are your plans for Christmas by the way? I mean, it’s just a few days now.” Jesper had thought about going to visit his father for the holidays, but that would have meant not being able to see Wylan, and while they were still not labelling this thing between them, he didn’t want to not see him for all those days.

“Well,” Wylan started, coming to a stop right next to Jesper so they could both reach for their bottles, “There’s Christmas Dinner at my father’s house on Christmas Day, which I can’t miss, but apart from that, I don’t have any plans.”

“I can’t talk you out of it, can I?” Jesper nudged Wylan’s shoulder with his own, still having a little bit of hope.

“I mean, I can go once the dinner is over. Nobody will notice or care I guess. Why?”

The way Wylan said it hurt him a little bit. Jesper had lost his mother, just like Wylan had, but he’d grown up in a loving home with a father who’d done everything he could to make Jesper have a great childhood. For Wylan, it had been completely different, and he wished there was something he could do, but he couldn’t change the past. At least, he could do something about the here and now.

“Because we’re having dinner on Christmas Day at Matthias’s place. Nina wanted to ask you, but since we’re here right now, I offered to ask. It would be the four of us, Tolya and his sister, maybe even Kaz, we’re not sure if he’ll show up or not. And my Dad.”

Since Jesper had decided against going to visit his father, he’d invited him to Ketterdam. Colm would stay with him just like he’d done a couple of months ago and then head back home after Christmas. By now, Jesper had told him that he was training with Wylan, that they were going out, seeing where this would take them. Colm hadn’t really understood why Jesper wasn’t calling Wylan his boyfriend since to him that sounded like a proper relationship, but after Jesper had explained to him that they wanted to explore this on their own instead of the public getting involved, he’d understood it a little better.

“That sounds a lot more fun than dinner with my father and his wife.” Jesper knew that Wylan didn’t have anything against Alys, but it was the whole constellation, especially with Alys being pregnant. “But I can’t get out of the dinner completely.”

“Then how about you make it through dinner and as soon as it’s over, I’ll come and pick you up.” Jesper reached for Wylan’s hand and pulled him onto the ice with him again. “I won’t drink anything until then, so I can still drive.”

It wouldn’t be a problem for him, but that way Wylan didn’t have to think about whether he got a drink or not. In addition, he could just say that he was being picked up, that Jesper was waiting outside, that it wasn’t polite to let him wait.

“Are you sure?” Wylan asked, looking down at the ice between them while Jesper was skating backwards, more or less pulling Wylan along.

“Wylan.” Jesper suddenly stopped, letting go of Wylan’s hands only to wrap his arms around him. “Of course I’m sure. We all want you there, and most importantly, we want you to enjoy your Christmas and not be stuck there. I’d love to pick you up.”

“Alright, I’d love that as well.” Wylan’s hands found Jesper’s sweater, holding onto it, so he could pull himself up a little bit and kiss him.

“See! I told you!”

They suddenly heard a familiar voice and broke apart. Wylan’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Jesper, whose heart was hammering in his chest. They were still holding onto each other when they turned around to where the voice had come from.

“I didn’t say that I don’t believe you.” The other voice was very well-known to them as well. Their coaches had known that they’d be here, but neither of them had known that they would drop by. Were they holding hands? As if they’d realised it, they let go of each other, but Jesper was rather sure that he’d seen that.

“Couldn’t you have let us know that you’d drop by?” Jesper called out, only slowly letting go of Wylan so they could skate over to the boards where Kaz and Inej were standing.

“And miss seeing you two kiss?” Inej asked, tilting her head to the side, but Jesper could see that she was holding back a grin. Inej knew about them, but he hadn’t told Kaz anything yet.

One sidelong glance at Wylan proved what he’d suspected already, that he was blushing profusely. It was adorable really, and so he put his hand around Wylan’s shoulder, pulling him against his side.

“How long has this been going on?” Kaz, being Kaz, sounded a lot harsher than Inej, but Jesper knew that he didn’t mean it like that.

“Does it really matter?” Inej asked, shaking her head at Kaz, before she looked back at the other two. “We’re actually here because we got an inquiry from GALA Magazine, because they want to do an interview with you two, a whole bunch of pictures, everything. They saw the interview from the Charity Competition and really want to talk to the two of you about your training.”

“GALA?” Jesper asked, visibly surprised. It was one of the biggest magazines nationwide, even internationally known. They always tried to get the biggest stars for interviews and managed to do so, especially because they paid the people they interviewed and gave the same amount of money to charity. It was something that had always impressed Jesper, even more so because they didn’t make a huge deal about this, didn’t use it for good press or anything. They just did it.

“Yes. They also saw a picture someone took of you at the Competition and wanted to know if there was more to it than just training.” Kaz sat down on the bench, rubbing a hand along his thigh. Jesper guessed he wasn’t having a good day, which was not surprising now that it was so cold outside.

“It’s completely up to you whether you want to do that interview or not. And what you tell them about the two of you. If you want to keep it a secret still, that’s perfectly fine.” Inej stroked a hand down Wylan’s forearm, who’s gone very still right next to Jesper, but at least, now he was able to smile.

“I think it’s a great opportunity.” Not that he wanted to discuss this thing between them really, but they’d have to prepare for questions like that. Maybe, they could just talk about it beforehand, so they were on the same page, so they both knew what to say. “But only if that’s alright with you.”

“No,” Wylan said immediately. “I mean, yes, we should do that. It’s a really good opportunity, but I would like to give the money they’ll offer us to charity as well. There’s a charity organisation that I’ve been supporting for years.”

Jesper couldn’t stop himself from smiling, and he hugged Wylan a little tighter against his side. If they didn’t talk about their training with GALA, there would be more and more rumours, so they could just tell them how this had started and why they were doing this.

“When do they want to do it?” Jesper asked, looking back at the other two.

“After Christmas and before New Years if it works for you. They want to print it in the second week of January right before the next competitions.” Inej took out her phone to make a note, but then quickly put it away again.

“Sounds good.” It was Wylan who spoke up, but Jesper agreed with a nod of his head. He’d done interviews before, not just after games, but for a magazine or a blog as well, and he’d done a couple of photo shoots for ads, just like Wylan had done - he knew because he’d looked at all of them in the months after the Charity Gala - so they had some experience. Still, this was exciting, because it was something they’d be doing together. But before that, there was Christmas, and Jesper was determined to find at least a little gift for Wylan.

After spending Christmas Eve alone with his father, catching up, having a wonderful dinner, Jesper was looking forward to spending Christmas Day with the others. Not that he didn’t enjoy spending time with his father alone, but especially Matthias had a close bond with him as well, since he didn’t have any family left. Colm himself was also looking forward to seeing the others. Of course, he’d heard all about Nina and was curious to meet her in person. He already knew Tolya and Tamar from previous dinners and the like, and was always a welcome guest among his friends. Jesper knew that he was lucky to have him.

Admittedly, he was a little nervous for his father to meet Wylan. Having them meet altogether meant something, didn’t it? So maybe, it was more serious than he made people believe. Maybe, he had already fallen head over heels for Wylan and just hadn’t admitted that out loud to himself, but he still believed that it was better to keep it to themselves, or rather to a close group like the people who were gathered here. He’d let Tolya know a few days ago, when he’d known that they would get together here, since he didn’t want to have to keep his hands to himself or sit on a different end of the table just so he wasn’t tempted to take Wylan’s hand. Tonight, they’d be in a safe environment, which would help them in a way, so they could see what it would be like, how they’d behave if they could just do what they felt like. What Jesper knew was that his heart was beating for Wylan, and while it scared him in a way, since he’d never really had a proper, good relationship, it made him want to try with Wylan. They didn’t need to rush anything.

“It’s delicious, thank you so much for inviting me,” his father said at the dinner table, snapping him out of his thoughts. With a smile he looked at Colm, before he let his eyes wander around to take them all in.

Not only Kaz had joined them, Inej was there as well, right next to him. Nina had invited her along, and after Jesper had told her what he and Wylan had thought they’d seen at the rink, she’d put them right next to each other. There was something going on, Jesper was sure of it, and it wasn’t strictly professional. At one point, he’d have to ask Kaz, pester him a little if he needed to - or he could hope that Wylan would find out something when he talked to Inej, who’d kept rather quiet about this so far, telling him that it was just business.

“Come on, Colm, you know that you’re like family,” Matthias said, giving him a big smile. The Crows’ Captain didn’t say something like this lightly, and he could see his father tearing up a little bit.

When Jesper felt his phone vibrate, he immediately got it out of his pocket to take a look. He’d texted Wylan two hours ago, but hadn’t heard back from him. He was about ready to drive over there and just get him out of the mansion, because he had no idea how the evening was going for him.

Sorry for only replying now, but I actually had a rather nice conversation with Alys and we weren’t allowed to use our phones.

Jesper let out a huff at that, shaking his head slightly. This was ridiculous. Wylan wasn’t a child anymore and neither was Alys. it was probably just Jan van Eck showing what kind of power he had over his guests.

“Everything alright?” Nina asked him, the seat between them empty because it was reserved for Wylan. He wasn’t here for the dinner itself, but he’d join them, hopefully soon, so he had a seat already picked for him.

“Van Eck didn’t allow them to use their phones until now.” He cast a glance at Nina, before he typed his answer.

I’m glad to hear that about Alys, the rest not so much. So, when can I pick you up? I miss you.

Once the message was sent, he held his breath for a moment, and then added: We miss you here.

They all did, because they wanted to spend and enjoy this evening together, so Wylan was still missing, and he couldn’t wait to get in the car.

“That man is seriously fucked up.” Nina shook her head, and Jesper knew that she wasn’t just talking about the phone thing. She knew more just like Jesper did.

“Who?” Tolya asked, having only heard the last bit of their conversation.

“Jan van Eck.” The disgust was audible in Nina’s voice. She was great at keeping a straight face and being polite when she was in front of people she despised, but right now, it really shone through what she thought of Jan van Eck.

Jesper didn’t hear the reaction from anyone, because he excused himself the moment his phone started buzzing, when Wylan was calling. Stepping out into the hallway, he picked up, a smile immediately on his lips.

“Please tell me, you want me to pick you up right now?

The way Wylan chuckled on the other end of the line made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was a sound he loved to hear, and he could never get enough of it.

“Do you miss me that much?” Wylan said jokingly, but without missing a beat, Jesper breathed out a yes. There was silence for a moment, before Wylan spoke up again. “Can you pick me up in half an hour? I’ll be outside the gate.”

“I’ll be on my way.”

“You still have some time. It’s not that far after all.”

“I know.” But Jesper couldn’t wait to see him, and so he’d probably get going right away, even if that meant having to sit in the car in front of the estate. “See you in a bit.”

“Thanks Jes.”

Wylan hung up on him and Jesper couldn’t suppress a smile when he walked back into the living room. It felt like all eyes were on him while the Christmas music was quietly playing in the background.

“So…?” Nina inquired, before she picked up her glass of mulled wine and took another sip. Jesper had stayed clear of alcohol so far, just like he’d promised, but he was looking forward to sharing a drink with the others later, especially with Wylan.

“I’ll get ready to pick him up.” Even if he had to march in there in the end and steal Wylan away. He’d been there long enough, and Jesper was giving him exactly thirty minutes.

Once he’d put on his scarf, hat and coat, he headed out to his car. It seemed like it had gotten even colder, but Jesper liked the fresh, cold air outside and took a deep breath, before he got into his car and on his way.

It really didn’t take him long to get to the van Eck Mansion. Even the gate and the garden - as far as he could see - were decorated. It looked rather pretty, but he figured that Alys had had something to do with this. This was so different from the way he’d grown up, but he wouldn’t want to change anything. He’d loved growing up on a farm with his father, surrounded by nature. Even if he’d had to help with the work that had to be done, he’d loved it. Sure, there had been days when he really hadn’t wanted to do it, and instead just go and hang out with his friends, but most of the time, it had worked out. Especially because his Dad had supported him in everything he’d wanted to do, and when he’d decided on ice-hockey, Colm had made sure that he’d gotten all the equipment he’d needed. Wylan’s life had been different. He’d lived in a pretty cage as it seemed. As long as his mother had been around, he’d been alright, but once there had only been his father that had changed.

Jesper gripped the steering wheel a little tighter to shake off this thought. It bothered him that the whole world thought he was such a great person, when in reality he was anything but. He just hoped that one day, Wylan would be able to cut all ties - except for Alys maybe, since Wylan wanted to meet his brother or sister one day, probably also to make sure that his sibling wouldn’t suffer like he’d done.

Thirty minutes were over, and Jesper got out of the car. He couldn’t exactly see the front entrance from where he was standing in front of the gate, but he was trying to see if Wylan was coming out. The lights along the way were on, but there was nobody in sight.

“Waiting for me?”

Jesper swivelled around to be faced with the person he’d been waiting for. Wylan looked so soft in the dim light, with his big scarf and the coat, hands in his pockets. He wasn’t wearing a hat, but Jesper guessed it was because of his hair.

“Where did you just come from?” Jesper tilted his head to the side and stepped up to him, putting both hands on his waist to pull him close.

“I know a way or two in and out without having to use this gate.” Now, Wylan took his hands out of his pockets as well and placed them on Jesper’s chest. A second later, he was kissing him, and Jesper’s fingers flexed against him, before he pulled him even tighter, flush against his chest.

“Just glad you’re here now,” he mumbled between kisses, seizing the moment they were having right now. Eventually, though, they had to break apart. The others were waiting for them, and Nina would probably call him any minute to ask when they’d finally get there. But there was something he wanted to do before they returned. “I’ve got a little present for you.”

“You really didn’t have to,” Wylan said immediately.

“I know. But I wanted to.” Jesper reached into the pocket of his coat and got a little envelope out. “It’s actually a present for me as well.”

Wylan took the envelope from him and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. For Jesper, this was the best part, watching Wylan open his present and see his eyes light up.

“Is this—”

“A three day trip to Belendt to their finest spa. They also have a very good restaurant there. I coordinated with Inej a little bit, to make sure that we both had time there. We don’t have any games in that time and your competition is two days after we return. That is if you want to go with me.”

“Are you kidding? This is amazing. Thank you!” Wylan kissed him again, wrapping his arm around his neck.

“That means you’re coming with me?” Jesper had to make sure, burying his nose in Wylan’s hair.

“Yes!” Wylan slowly pulled back to look at him. “I just… don’t have anything for you.”

“Like I said, this is as much a present for me as it is for you.” Probably even more so for him in the end, because he’d been looking forward to this ever since he’d booked it, because it meant three days together with Wylan, just the two of them.

On the drive back to Matthias’s apartment, they talked a little about the evening. Wylan told him that it hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected it to be, and that he’d only had one glass of wine for dinner, which was an indicator in itself. Jesper told him what they had for dinner, but that they’d waited for him with dessert.

“You could have had dessert and didn’t need to wait for me.”

“We wanted to.” All of them actually, and it hadn’t been his suggestion. It was actually Tolya who’d brought up the subject, and everyone had agreed. Granted, after the main course they’d had, they were all rather happy about a little break to really appreciate the Mousse au Chocolat Nina had prepared for them.

They were immediately welcomed by Nina at the door, no matter that it was actually Matthias’s apartment. In fact, Nina was pretty much living here anyway, so it was just right that she felt at home there. Once they’d shed their coats, Jesper grabbed Wylan’s hand to lead him into the living room, but once there, he had to let go again, because there were some hugs that needed to be exchanged, right along with a lot of Merry Christmases that everyone said. He introduced Wylan to Tamar and to his Dad, though Jesper was a little nervous about this, or maybe excited was the better word.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir,” Wylan said, shaking his hand, but Colm being Colm pulled him into a hug. Wylan seemed to be a little overwhelmed, maybe because their fathers were so different.

“The pleasure is all mine, son. It’s good to have you here.”

When Colm let go of Wylan, he gave him a clap on the shoulder and sat down again. Jesper seized the moment to take Wylan’s hand again and sit down together with him. It seemed like Wylan needed a moment to adjust to the environment now, but then he joined in the conversations as well.

Nina’s Mousse au Chocolat along with the mulled wine was perfect, and even Wylan emptied his plate. They shared some stories, and when they started singing Christmas songs together, Jesper adjusted his chair so that he could put his arm around Wylan’s shoulder. Immediately, Wylan leaned against him, showing Jesper how safe he felt here with all of them, and that was what he’d been hoping for. Even Kaz seemed to be more relaxed than most of the time. He wasn’t singing along with them, but he was for once not wearing gloves, and Jesper could see him looking over at Inej more and more often, especially when she laughed. He’d seen it before, the way Kaz had looked at Inej, but he’d never said anything, because he knew that it wasn’t exactly easy for his Coach and friend. Maybe, they were good for each other as well, just like Wylan and him.

“I’ll get some more mulled wine from the kitchen,” Jesper said, leaning over to kiss Wylan’s cheek, because he didn’t want to overdo it, but was surprised when Wylan turned his head to kiss him on the lips. Jesper had to smile once their lips parted again.

When he started gathering the empty mugs, Nina got up to help him, so they could go to the kitchen together. It wouldn’t have been a problem for him to go twice or even three times, but this way, it was quicker. They filled up the mugs and Nina put some snacks on the table as well. They were probably still full from dinner and dessert, but some snacks couldn’t hurt, right? Kaz would make sure they’d train extra hard after the holidays anyway.

When they returned, Jesper saw Wylan and his father talking, smiling while they did so, and he could also see a slight blush on Wylan’s cheeks. Granted, this could also be due to the alcohol and the warm temperature in the room, but he guessed there was a bit more to this. For now, he’d leave it at that and just settled down next to Wylan again. Immediately, he put his arm around his shoulder, and in turn felt Wylan’s hand on his thigh.

It was past midnight, when they decided to end the night. It had been a great evening, a wonderful Christmas time, they’d had together, but they were all getting tired, and needed some sleep. Jesper wasn’t fit to drive anymore, but luckily, he didn’t live that far away from Matthias. Getting a taxi at this time on Christmas Day would be rather difficult, and Wylan’s apartment was further away.

“You should come to my place and stay the night,” Jesper said, taking Wylan’s hand outside. He turned to look at his father, and even though he didn’t have to explain anything to him, he added: “Wylan lives further away, so it makes sense that he stays the night with us.”

“Of course. It’s only reasonable and then we can have breakfast together.” Colm smiled at both of them and slowly started walking in the direction they had to go.

“Are you sure?” Wylan asked, looking at Colm, before he looked up at Jesper again.

“Of course I’m sure. You’ll get some clothes from me, that’s not a problem.”

Jesper just wanted him by his side. Not that he wanted to take things further with Wylan tonight, no matter how good being intimate with him was, but tonight, he really just wanted to hold him in his arms and fall asleep like that. And so, Wylan agreed. Comet was taken care of, so he’d just have to look after him the next morning - after breakfast that was. Jesper would walk back to his car with him and drive him of course.

Once at Jesper’s apartment, they said goodnight to his Dad and entered his bedroom. Honestly, Jesper was completely knackered, and the same was true for Wylan. His eyes were only halfway open when they stepped into the bathroom to brush their teeth and get ready. Jesper had given him one of his shirts to wear for the night. He looked so cute in it, because it was a bit too big on him, but Jesper loved seeing him in his own clothes. He climbed into bed and held his arms open for Wylan, who followed him straight away and cuddled up to him. Their lips met in a soft, almost delicate kiss.

“I’m just curious,” Jesper whispered, pulling Wylan even closer, softly stroking his fingers through his hair. “What were you and my Dad talking about earlier? When I was in the kitchen with Nina.”

“Oh.” Wylan bit his bottom lip, but he was smiling, just avoiding looking at him a little bit when he placed his hand on Jesper’s chest. “He told me that I was apparently good for you, that you smile a lot more now.”

Oh. Jesper’s heart sped up a little at that, but it was the truth. It also had something to do with the last time he’d seen his father, when he’d been in pain and had kept thinking about Wylan and what had happened.

“He’s right,” Jesper admitted, placing his hand on top of Wylan’s on his chest, keeping it right there. He didn’t want to lie to Wylan, and there was no need to do that anyway. He wanted him to know that in a way.

“Just for the record, you’re good for me too.” Wylan kissed him, his lips lingering on Jesper’s for a moment. Jesper couldn’t stop himself from smiling into the kiss. This was a lot more serious than he’d thought in the beginning, but he wasn’t running from this, from Wylan. He was right here with him and not even thinking about running from what they had anymore.

[velvetporcelain]

hello beautiful void.

Retraining the mind is the most difficult, yet rewarding process of life, i am really trying to move gracefully while on this earth, letting nothing disturb my peace, but what is peace? Is it self made? Is it run along the line of moral responsibility? Does it trickle downwards or does it flow backwards?

Yesterday, I read a children’s book that associated colors with feelings— yellow was happiness, sunshine , and i like to think that’s the color of my aura, i like to think that we get it from our mothers. My youngest son asked about god and how we were made, i said mothers are god-

i have closed myself off sexually to really anything, i feel like im moving back into something altruistic, like i need to review my findings and experiences to conjure a stronger fondness for my heart- like i was supposed to be this way- angelic and passionate, but also something diabolical and wild- animalistic. i need to release more trauma from my body, there is more than i thought, i don’t want anymore-

i am holding my tongue because maybe my heart is still bitter, and you should never speak when your heart is bitter- i wish to grow past this bitterness, i am still working on the how — sometimes i am afraid that it will never leave and somehow that’s how it turns into disease. —-

I am free, i am safe- i am abundant- i refuse to believe anything else- I can’t believe anything else— healthy, wealthy, mind and body in alignment—- I love to see me thriving - I wonder why I put so much thought into myself— after taking a look around I think I do actually love myself. i have been filtering what i consume because it will become your reality— sometimes i have deeper concerns like- WHY? but i try not to answer those with darker eyes.

he is useless- he, the one we do not name- like Bloody Mary or - beetlejuice — he is the juice of a beetle 🪲- but not the blood of Mary— he is quite boring and maybe realized that i am smarter than him, or at least i think so- his aura is arrogant yet screaming from love- what a sorry little boy- it’s almost worse that his presence is there- like he just wants to fucking watch me— lol fuck no- no one can perceive me - you would have to scuba dive to get to the bottom of me. — i am limitless among the limited.

there is nothing i want more than to cultivate a rich bloodline of emotional intelligence, one that would change the world. i cannot let the world change my course, i don’t care about the world- the world is —- scum.

today i think i will read a book in the woods. no one cares about what you are doing until it affects them.

-x

[turmie]

I'm gonna try to explain this as best as I can.

I made this comic as a way to create visualization for how it felt when I finally returned to God after so many years of being away from him. According to my mother, I had originally given my life to Christ at nine years old. I’m paraphrasing here but I basically went up to my mother at nine years old and said, “Mommy, I wanna give my life to Jesus.” 

I rededicated myself to him during my senior year of high school. When I did, it was a very emotional moment for me. There was just this large sense of warmth and love that was deeper than anything I’d ever felt in my life. Even remembering sometimes is enough to have me crying again. 

I think one of the reasons why it was so emotional for me was because for about nine years, I thought that God wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. I thought I was nothing but a disgusting thing that he didn’t like. I know that sounds harsh, but that’s legitimately what I thought at the time (all of which were complete lies from the enemy). I thought I was the scum of the Earth. 

I had drifted away from him and began to indulge in the stuff the world had to offer as distractions. It was never in a sense where I thought God wasn’t real, I always knew he was. But it was more so because I thought I wasn’t worthy enough to even talk to God, much less be loved by him. Because as far as I knew, I was nothing but a liar who was a horrible person. That’s what I thought I was.

I thought that because of all the stuff I did and was doing, it meant other people could be loved by him and not me. I understand how faulty of a mindset that was, but that’s what I believed at the time. I thought I was a mistake and that I was just taking up space. Overtime I got out of the more intense side of things, but I still struggled with similar stuff (even today) when it came to having thoughts like that. 

What got me into taking God so seriously in the first place was during my senior year of high school. My family was playing worship music on the TV. I was listening to the music with everyone and out of nowhere as I’m doing so, this huge wave of emotion hit me. The best way I could put it was God was straight up telling me that he loved me. I was bawling, I couldn’t focus on much other than this overwhelming feeling of affection and warmth. It was a type of love that had my eyes cosplaying as waterfalls, I just couldn’t stop crying.

I don’t know how long it was after that, but I do remember that shortly after that happened, I decided I was going to be serious about my relationship with God (because I was extremely lukewarm, I would call myself a Christian but wouldn’t even pick up a bible). So, I had to do the basics of reforming my relationship with him: Which was to repent.

When I repented and was asking God for forgiveness for every sin I had done, that familiar wave of love overcame me and I was crying once again. I remember asking God questions along these lines:

“Have I ever done anything for you to hate me?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Could I ever do anything for you to be upset with me?”

And to each question he just answered, “No.” He didn’t physically say it, but God has this amazing way of (for a lack of a better word) telepathically communicating in the moment he is with you. You don’t even need to necessarily hear him, you just feel it and you feel it intensely. 

I also remember asking him why he wasn’t upset despite all the stuff I had done in my past. And he said something along the lines of: “I don’t care about that. I’m just glad that you’re here.” To say that my eyes were raining would be an understatement, I was crying so much. It will forever amaze me that this all powerful omnipotent being cares about me so much in a way I can’t even fathom as I’m writing this out. 

To anyone out there struggling with similar issues or thoughts, please understand that God is so loving, so tender, and so kind beyond anything you could ever hope to comprehend. Even the words I have expressed here on this page are not enough to fully explain the love and emotion I felt when God was speaking to me in this way. There’s a reason why we call him Father God. Because we are his children. God misses his children and wants them all to return home. In the bible, John 3:16, it says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

He wants YOU. 

Please do not feel ashamed to speak to him because he is constantly waiting to speak to you with open arms. I wish I had known or understood this sooner, because it took so long for me to do so. Granted, I am now only 18 years old, but every moment you do not have God is a moment of agony. That’s what I was going through for the past nine years without him. 

It is never too late to repent and give your life to Christ. Do it while you still can. His love is far more precious than anything you could ever want on this planet. 

Love you and God bless you all.

[asknarashikari]

Michinaga: You!

Tusk: Me? Can I help you with something?

Michinaga: You will pay for what you did! Henshin *transforms into a Bull Rider*

Tusk: Look I don’t even know who you are! Why’re you attacking me!

Tusk: Really? After what happened with the Ninningers – crap!

Tusk: Honou Kakusei! *transforms into Zyuoh Elephant*

Michinaga: Its useless, no attack can affect me.

Michianga: You will pay for what you did!

Tusk: Like I told you, I don’t know who you are!

Tusk: I don’t even know what I supposedly did.

Michinaga: I see how it is. Figures.

Yamato: Tusk, do not hold back! Attack him with everything you got use awakening!

Tusk Wha-

Yamato: You can’t second guess it, treat him like he’s Genis!

Tusk: Are you sure?

Yamato: Very sure.

*attacks connect to Michinaga*

Michinaga: Wha-

Yamato: Don’t underestimate the Zyuohgers.

Yamato:  Yasei Dai Kaihō

Tusk: Oi, Yamato, is that a bit excessive.

Yamato: He can handle a little pain.

Yamato: Especially if he’s attacking children.

Tusk: Attacking chi-

Michinaga: All Riders are scum of the Earth, greedy to the core.

Yamato: He thinks all transforming people are Kamen Riders, so far he’s attacked, Juuru, Kotaro, and Hikari on the sentai side.

Tusk: What about the Rider side?

Yamato: He’s attacked Yuzuru-kun, and Anna.

Tusk: That girl that became Den-o for a bit?

Tusk: How’d he know about her?

Yamato: Keiwa-kun thinks its probably his supporter who revels in the misery of people.

Tusk: Just like Genis.

----

Emu: You could have dealt more damage.

Yamato: He was already unconscious, so I stopped.

Tusk: Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Yamato: Oh this was merciful.

Yamato: Takaharu was livid upon learning that someone was attacking baby sentai and riders.

Yamato: I don’t want to know what Takaharu can be capable of if he thinks his family is in danger.

Emu: Ditto for Shinnosuke.

Yamato: Especially since I’ve seen Takaharu without holding back and all stoic when Gaisoulg was possessed his body.

Yamato: I loathe to think if Lucky gets into that problem.

Emu: Lucky is easily one of the most powerful heroes around.

Emu: Don’t worry about him, we’ll give him to that grand prix and hopefully they’ll have the means to contain him for a while.

Tusk: Can something be done for him?

Yamato: What he needs is to grieve.

Yamato: Even without knowing the full context, the ferocity and his words at you, Tusk, makes him think that you’re the Rider that killed his best friend.

Tusk: But he doesn’t have a right to go around accusing people of that.

Yamato: You’re right, but like I said he’s trying to grieve.

Emu: That grand prix I mentioned erases his memory of the death of his friend so every time he remembers, he gets angrier and angrier.

Tusk: Doesn’t give him the right, still

Yamato: And you’re right.

Honestly, at this point I don't think anything Azuma does still has anything to do with losing Tooru.

For one thing, he seems to have accepted Tooru's death, in his own way. He says as much after he took down the Jyamato masquerading as Tooru. Further evidence is the fact that earlier in the show, Azuma has frequent flashbacks to him or has imaginary conversations with his "ghost" (or maybe his conscience taking the form of Tooru), but now it's gone.

He has grieved, and is moving on- but whether he grieved "properly" or not is debatable, and how he's moving on is questionable at best.

Secondly, he's had that chip on his shoulder even before Tooru died, if his troubled past is anything to go by. Even as a kid he seemed to have a lot of anger and bitterness inside him. And if anything, it seemed like Tooru was the only thing that held him from going off the deep end (which is why I think that the abovementioned "ghost" he converses with was really his conscience taking Tooru's form).

Tooru's death was just what sent him spiralling, the spark that finally lit up all the suppressed rage and resentment he had. And the DGP gave him the power to unleash it onto the world by making him a Kamen Rider.

So... uh, yeah, I don't think this advice is gonna "help" him at all.