#diaryposting

[fennopunk]

I guess this counts towards Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, since I'm reading Solarpunk Winters on my balcony, wrapped up in a cardigan I made and an old old wool blanket, while watching snow falling.

I also have a mug of hot glögg (mulled wine, non-alcoholic in my case) and gingerbread cookies :D

It is chilly, yes, but this is actually very nice and peaceful. Before the renovation my balcony was never a place I particularly liked to spend time in. It was a concrete box and open to the weather, so I would've spent so much time cleaning it to keep it habitable. So I just didn't.

Now with the glass panels and new flooring it's actually a space I want to be in, even with no other furniture than two plastic folding chairs and a clothes drying rack.

I have so many ideas on what to do with this space. I want to have some greenery and a place to sleep in once the weather gets too hot to sleep inside. I want to start composting again and grow mushrooms.

Many of the things have to wait for spring, but that's okay. I have the whole winter to get used to having a balcony again and figure out what I actually need from it.

[neurodivergenttales]

Shoutout to everyone who…

Relies on ‘junk food’ to eat

Is not able to or does not have the spoons to cook regularly

Whose relationship with food was damaged by their parents

Struggles to eat fresh fruit and veg

Has a limited diet due to sensory issues

Is made fun of for their restricted diet

[ladyflybutterbug]

In my last post I shared my empty notebook collection. Now here I present my finished journals aka the story of my (conscious) life, literally.

[valokuvapaivakirja]

Muska auttaa

[dslur]

i really don't identify with the term nonbinary even if it technically applies to me and i know it's an umbrella term and a whole spectrum but i hate that the gender binary has shifted into a gender trinary and if i did describe myself that way people would make a lot of assumptions about who i am. i am not going to choose. i feel like gender non conforming is more accurate to myself and my experiences but actually my gender is butch. i'm just a butch. though i am never explaining this to most people. if you get it you get it. hardly anyone around me even knows what butch means. better to be mysterious about it

[evergreen-femme]

i honestly hate the trans girl narrative that we were all always women no questions full stop. i get why it needs to exist and like i won't break the orthodoxy right now but to be honest that isn't really my experience. i was a boy who really desperately wanted to be a "girl" growing up, whatever that meant to me. now, i am a woman but i'm still that boy inside - he's my inner child. it may not be the nicest truth but it's my reality. it's immensely sad. but i need to acknowledge him if im ever going to have a sense of continuity in my life. so yea that's what the femboy stuff has been all about and why it feels so completely healing for me. its hot too yeah i know but i feel like i need to explain that it has a much deeper meaning to me than that as a "fetish." it's literally the narrative of my life, and me being happy enough with the results of my transition on a more or less every day basis to try and acknowledge and embrace the part of me i've always been the most ashamed of.

and also im really afraid of people saying shit because of this like "you aren't really a woman and you definitely aren't a lesbian!" bc i am still a woman. my adult self is a woman. acknowledging my womanhood meant acknowledging the 17 years of my life i spent fully dissociated from my body or any real sense of self, which was a terrifying thing to do that i think a lot of people would lack the courage for. and my lesbian and especially femme identity (to me, i'm a femme first, and a lesbian second) is incredibly important to my sense of womanhood. i had to embrace my womanhood to grow up, basically, and i delayed that for way too long. WAY too long. but i was still existing during that waiting time and i'm not going to just throw away 17 years of my life because it doesn't make sense to dumbass queer discoursers. i'm a boy who grew up into a woman. ppl like me do exist.

[velvetporcelain]

REMINDER:

put on a pair of headphones and float into oblivion if need be.

for the sake of mankind.

-x

[mercury-waters]

thinking more about nano's stance on ai and just like... yeah, man. certainly people with financial freedom are more able to pursue things like writing novels, the same way ppl with financial freedom are able to pursue literally whatever the fuck they want.

but do u think octavia e butler, who used to wake up at 2 in the morning every day to get a couple hours of writing in before she left for a shitty factory job, would have wanted a computer to write her books for her? do u think she would want to feed some ideas into a little program and have them spit out a book (even if AI was capable of writing WELL, which it's not?)

no! of fuckin course not! the struggle is the point! the friction of existence is all that makes anything meaningful! why are we relinquishing the millennia of work it took for humanity to become capable of creation!

[peachesnabsinthe]

🌿💗🍯

@hausfaerie (18+nsfw)

[art-gelayn]

Haven't been posting lately because I have now started working! I'm still trying to juggle my job, house chores and my habits but so far I'm satisfied.

[gayjewishwerewolf]

beit din during pride month............admission ceremony on the shabbat before shavuot...............

[fennopunk]

One of the problems with ADHD is that even when you're sick and don't have the energy to do anything, your brain doesn't actually slow down and needs the constant stimulation or you get ✨bored✨. And being bored is so illegal for my brand of ADHD at least, that the concept barely even exists (same reason I struggle with meditation).

[neurodivergenttales]

BPD is watching yourself burn your own life to the ground over and over again

[aropride]

going through my diaries again

[valokuvapaivakirja]

Maybe the worst hobby for my adhd ass self but I'm also autistic enough to enjoy this boring monotonous work very very much

[vanilla-20]

welcoming october with a lovely afternoon, reading intermezzo by sally rooney