#Duke Vale

[incorrectlovestruck]

Duke, seeing a pile of trash: Big...

Duke: *looks over at MC* ...mood?

VN MC: *gives him a thumbs up while nodding enthusiastically*

[galaxy-potatoo]

VN MC's first mission

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

[fanaticalthings]

important family group chat discussions

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[incorrectbatfam]

The Waynes are asked who they think Batman is. What do they say

Vicky Vale: Who do you think is the Batman?

Dick: Superman doing a bit.

Jason: A coward.

Tim: He escaped from Area 51.

Damian: A being beyond our mortal comprehension.

Duke: A bat who was bitten by a radioactive man.

Cullen: Your mom lol.

Stephanie: Slice into him, he's cake.

Cassandra, whispering: You see him too??

Barbara: I think you already know.

Harper: In my experience, only a billionaire would jump from a skyscraper in a fursuit.

Carrie: Santa——he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good.

Kate: You still believe in Batman? What are you, six?

Alfred: I haven't the faintest clue *wink wink*

Selina: Who's Batman?

Bruce, completely deadpan: Me.

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Bruce Wayne Says ‘Never Too Old For Uppies’

Darling billionaire and former Gotham heartthrob turn DILF Bruce Wayne was spotted at his latest Gala wearing the latest season’s top designer suit.

This is of its self wasn’t surprising but the scene that unfolded sure was!

Now it isn’t a surprise for anyone who has been keeping track of the posts and polls about the most attractive men in America that Mr. Winner of 3 years in a row is quite ripped under all those layers he usually wears and when asked why he exercises to such a degree that it could rival the big bat, Mr. Wayne seemed to fumble for a bit before responding with a dazzling smile that he does so that he could carry all of his children.

Another reporter made comment about how all of his children were well past the age of being picked up.

Mr. Wayne proceed to state quite seriously to the reporter,

“They’re never too old for uppies.”

Apparently Mr. Wayne’s two eldest sons had heard their father’s statement as they shared a look before taking a running leap towards their dad with Dick Grayson Wayne bellowing “uppies!” In response.

Mr. Wayne, despite his well known clumsiness, caught both of his sons with a spin before calmly stating to the reporters that he had guests to talk to and then walked away with one boy sitting on each hip.

And let us remind our readers that neither men Mr. Wayne caught weigh less than an estimated 170 lbs!

The rest of the gala had our reporters spotting Mr. Wayne carrying his various children in various ways.

Message was well received, Kids are never too old for uppies, just too heavy!

But nothing less can be expected from the dad of the year.

Though, he may have competition here in Gotham, as eye witnesses have stated that they had seen our own Big Bat taking after our resident rich man.

But who can say? Maybe the two have a closer relationship than we know.

It had been stated that both Bruce Wayne and Batman have a similar physique to each-other with Batman being just slightly larger in size.

Maybe they share a workout routine?

We can only speculate.

What we can be sure of, is that Bruce loves his kids and would be willing to do anything to make them smile.

As always I am Vicky Vale.

*there are two photos shown along with the article. One of Bruce Wayne carting a staggering number of his children. With Cassandra and Damian Wayne on his shoulders, Dick Grayson Wayne and Jason Todd under each arm and Tim Drake Wayne clinging onto his front like a koala. It is noted that Duke Thomas is to the side seemingly recording the entire scene.

The second photo is of Batman with an annoyed Red Hood slung over his shoulder, trying to get loose.”

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

Another chapter of "The Waynes on Twitter" AO3 work

Masterlist of Tweets

<- Previous Next ->

17 - Love triangles are OUT, time for a love square

[vodrae]

Vicki Vale: Tell us more about your family !

Bruce: I dress as a bat to punch people.

Dick: I am the slaught in manslaught.

Barbara: I have 2 children in this room.

Jason: On my 2nd trial of life.

Tim: I'm bi.

Steph: I put my dad in jail.

Cass: 🤙🤙🤙

Duke: I have superpowers.

Damian: Mom told me it's okay to run with swords

Vicki Vale: Okay.

Alfred: I'm British

Vicki Vale: IS NOBODY FUCKING NORMAL AROUND HERE ?!

[gothamnewsnetwork-official]

The Social Event of the Season - the Wayne Enterprises Summer Gala

As summer comes to an end Gothamites often dread the upcoming season. School, heist season (see related articles), and Scarecrow’s annual Halloween gas attacks (see related articles) all being cited as reasons to hate the fall season.

That being said, the last few days of August leave us with a parting gift; the Wayne Enterprises Summer Gala (see related articles).

Long heralded as the ‘social event of the season’ by Gotham City’s (see related articles) upper echelons (see related articles), the Wayne Summer Gala is sure to stir up many a rumour.

Since its founding as a charity event, it has evolved into a yearly rager, though it maintains its charity ties; all profits from the gala (aside from staff wages) being donated to charities across our beloved city, the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation (see related articles) being one of the most recognizable examples.

Though it is invite-only, many Gothamites tune in to the red-carpet streams of many Gotham news outlets to get a glimpse of who will be attending and what scandals may unfold (see related articles).

Because of this, we have sent an intern to interview the host of the gala himself, Bruce Wayne (see related articles) ( @officialbruciewayne ), for further details on what we should expect. This is what he had to say on the matter -

“ Q: [to Mr. Wayne] What’s your goal with the upcoming gala? ”

“ A: Well obviously we're hoping to raise as much money as possible for charity.

I'd also like to use it the gala as a chance to network for the foundations, but nobody ever likes to talk shop at these things. Least of all me!

I plan to make off with every last mozzarella stick, get absolutely spannered and when I fall into the fountain this year, I'm going to take most of my clothes off and dance. ”

“ Q: And what about your newest adoptee, Duke Thomas? This is his first gala, correct? ”

“ A: I believe it's his first Late Summer Gala. He's attended- or almost attended -some other events. ”

“ Q: Are there any particular designers you or your family will be wearing for the gala? ”

“ A: Helena [ Helena Wayne (see related articles) ( @thebestofwaynes ), daughter of Bruce Wayne] has a new Balenciaga that suits her wonderfully. I plan to make a splash with some Tom Ford boxer-briefs.

I believe most of my wardrobe will be from a new menswear designer- though I'd prefer not to spoil their work ahead of time.

My tie was made for me by my daughter though. It was a birthday present. ”

“ Q: And what about press at the gala? ”

“ A: We have some independent reporters who are attending as guests- yourself included, I think, Clark Kent (see related posts) ( @official-clark-kent ) from The Daily Planet and Dottie McVeigh (see related articles) ( @dottie-mcveigh ), our standard press contingent, of course.

I’m sure Vicki [ Vicki Vale (see related articles), reporter for the Gotham Gazette] will be there, she might even entertain me. ”

“ Q: Are there any surprise charities or adoption announcements that we should expect? ”

“ A: I'm sure we'll find out at the same time - they don't tell me anything haha. ”

With that the interview concluded, and while we may not know the full details of this gala, this journal is sure it will not be one to forget.. We’ll be keeping you all updated on the latest developments of the event, so to all Gothamites, we recommend you stay tuned.

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

Gotham Reports is certified in unbiased, fair, and reliable journalism

-

* Due to circumstances outside of this journal’s control, we will be reducing the frequency of our longer articles and updates may become more sporadic for an unknown amount of time *

[incorrectlovestruck]

Duke: Are you decent?

Renzei: Not morally. But I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking.

[crybabycinna]

Pt 18 this is correct and no I will not take criticism

Lucy: *trying to sneak out her room*

Jason: *walks into her room and catches her* where the fuck are you going?

Lucy: *hanging halfway out the window* there’s a block party in the Narrows

Jason: I’ll drive go get Steph and Duke

Lucy: yay *climbs back into her room then runs to Steph room*

Steph: *in her pjs watch the real housewives of Gotham*

Lucy: *bust in then closes the door behind her*

Steph: you could knock

Lucy: hush! *jumps in her bed* there’s a block party in the Narrows tonight Jason said he’ll drive

Steph: let me get dressed *hops out her bed to find an outfit*

Lucy: *runs into duke’s room but he’s not there* the fuck? *runs into the kitchen to see him with Bruce*

Bruce: no running in the house

Lucy: my bad hey Duke can i borrow you for just a second?

Duke: what for?

Lucy: I need your height to grab a book from the library *lying asf but still so smooth with it*

Duke: come on

Lucy: *drags him upstairs and to the empty library*

Duke: ok which boo-

Lucy: there’s a block party in the Narrows jason said he’ll drive us

Duke: *sighs* my Narrow party days are over

Lucy:….don’t play with me be in the car by eleven

Flatline: party?

Lucy: where tf did you come from? Also how’s bonding with Mr. Chuckles going?

Flatline; oh I snuck in through the window and bonding with him is going great I think he likes me

Lucy: oh that’s lovely anyways yeah party in the Narrows be in the car by eleven

Flatline: im gonna have to drag Damian with me

Lucy: that’s fine

*bonus*

*they made it to the Narrows and the everyone is dancing and or sitting on cars and hanging out*

Lucy & Steph: *eating burgers and dancing*

Jason: *impressing the ladies with his dance moves*

Duke: *found some old friends to talk to*

Damian and Flatline: *sitting on someone’s car just talking*

Anarchy: BABY SIS IS THAT YOU?!

Lucy: big brother! *runs over to anarchy and gives him a big hug*

*extra bonus*

Vicky Vale: *in a helicopter over the Narrows* it seems that everyone in the Narrows is getting along peacefully tonight

*below on the ground*

Jason: *trying to stop a fight* can we all just chill out and enjoy the party

Lucy: no but seriously I didn’t even get a hot dog yet!

Steph: THERES HOT DOGS?

Duke: let’s all calm down and just go back to partying

Damian: *ready to pull out his blade*

Flatline: don’t even think about it dami

*the block party gets shot up and the kids run back to the car*

Lucy: WE CANT HAVE SHIT IN THE NARROWS!

*extra extra bonus*

Bruce: why were you all in the Narrows?

Jason: who told you that?

Lucy: there is no proof

Steph: Bruce I think you’re getting old so you’re just saying and seeing things

Bruce: YOU WERE ALL ON THE NEWS! *turns on the tv to show Vicky reporting about the Wayne kids in the Narrows*

Lucy: that raggedy bitch

Steph: why did you date her again? She’s really nosy

Bruce: also why are you two in my house? *points at Anarchy and Flatline*

Flatline: I’m just waiting for mom (Rose) to come and get me

Anarchy: I’m just here for Lucy

Lucy: *smiles real big at her big brother*

[incorrectlovestruck]

VN MC: I think I can handle it. I went to Wharton.

Duke: Well, I went to Harvard.

Renzei: And I went to juvie and we’re all standing here, wearing costumes.

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

Congratulations to Aragorn x Arwen fans

Aragorn/Arwen won with Duke/Monarch in my one true ultimate shipping tournament and advanced to round two!    

Duke/Monarch fans, don’t weep, because your ship remains awesome!

[tatimuller]

O Vale das Bonecas

Você terá que escalar o Monte Everest para alcançar o Vale das Bonecas. A escalada é brutal e poucas pessoas viram esse pico. Você jamais soube o que exatamente encontraria lá, mas a última coisa que esperaria era o Vale das Bonecas. Você fica ali parado, esperando pela felicidade que esperava sentir — mas ela não vem. Você está muito longe para ouvir os aplausos e para agradecê-los. E não há mais para onde subir. Você está sozinho e esse sentimento é mais forte que tudo. O ar é tão rarefeito que fica quase impossível respirar. Você conseguiu e o mundo o chama de herói. Foi mais divertido, porém, no começo da escalada, quando havia apenas a esperança e o sonho de realizá-la. Tudo o que você podia ver então era o cume da montanha, ninguém que o informasse sobre o Vale das Bonecas. Quando você alcança o píncaro tudo é diferente. A jornada o deixou arrasado, surdo, cego e cansado demais para que possa apreciar a vitória. Anne Welles nunca pretendeu fazer a escalada. Ainda assim, deu o primeiro passo no dia em que olhou à sua volta e disse: — Não, isso não me basta. Quero alguma coisa mais. — Quando encontrou Lyon Burke era muito tarde para voltar atrás.

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

[incorrectbatfam]

What are their euphimisms for vigilante stuff when they're in public?

Vicky Vale: So what are your plans after this press conference?

Bruce: Oh, nothing much, just running a few errands.

Dick: Yeah, I might hit the gym to let out some of the tension in my neck. *wink*

Jason: I heard the library got a new annotated Shakespeare catalogue. I think I'll check that out. *wink*

Tim: The annual reports are due soon so I'll be putting in overtime. *winks with both eyes*

Damian: One of my academic extracurriculars is having extra practice sessions for regional tournaments. *subtle wink*

Stephanie: I'm having McDonald's breakfast for dinner. *wink*

Cassandra: Don't forget smoothies. *wink*

Duke: I'm more of a Chipotle guy. *wink wink*

[later]

The batkids: *ready for patrol*

Dick, checking his watch: Weird, it's not like Bruce to be late.

Stephanie: It's kinda rude, especially after he lectured me for getting caught in traffic last Friday.

Bruce: *bursts into the Batcave out of breath*

Damian: You're half an hour late, Father. Where were you?

Bruce: Looking all over for you!

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce, to Dick: You said you were going to the gym.

Bruce, to Jason: You said you'd be at the library.

Bruce, to Tim: You said you were working overtime.

Bruce, to Damian: You said you had practice for a club.

Bruce, to Stephanie: You said you were going to McDonald's.

Bruce, to Cassandra: You said you were getting a smoothie.

Bruce, to Duke: And you said you were at Chipotle!

Dick: In hindsight, maybe we should've discussed this...

[maybe-in-another-universe]

now imagine that all of their relationships are public, could you imagine the field day that the press could have? like an article that reads:

WALLY WEST, PARTNER TO DICK GRAYSON, SPOTTED WEARING TIM DRAKE’S SWEATER! Infidelity with boyfriend’s brother?…..

and it blows up because WHAT!?? WITH HIS LITTLE BROTHER??? and it just gets worse from there, roy wearing something of duke’s, steph wearing something of kon’s, bruce accidentally wearing one of their clothes, so on and so forth, until the media gives it up but not before they have to come out with a statement to explain that it just happens, it’s not cheating and they all love their partners very much!

The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine