#Duke Vale

[incorrectlovestruck]

Duke, seeing a pile of trash: Big...

Duke: *looks over at MC* ...mood?

VN MC: *gives him a thumbs up while nodding enthusiastically*

[galaxy-potatoo]

VN MC's first mission

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

[incorrectbatfam]

The Waynes are asked who they think Batman is. What do they say

Vicky Vale: Who do you think is the Batman?

Dick: Superman doing a bit.

Jason: A coward.

Tim: He escaped from Area 51.

Damian: A being beyond our mortal comprehension.

Duke: A bat who was bitten by a radioactive man.

Cullen: Your mom lol.

Stephanie: Slice into him, he's cake.

Cassandra, whispering: You see him too??

Barbara: I think you already know.

Harper: In my experience, only a billionaire would jump from a skyscraper in a fursuit.

Carrie: Santa——he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good.

Kate: You still believe in Batman? What are you, six?

Alfred: I haven't the faintest clue *wink wink*

Selina: Who's Batman?

Bruce, completely deadpan: Me.

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Bruce Wayne Says ‘Never Too Old For Uppies’

Darling billionaire and former Gotham heartthrob turn DILF Bruce Wayne was spotted at his latest Gala wearing the latest season’s top designer suit.

This is of its self wasn’t surprising but the scene that unfolded sure was!

Now it isn’t a surprise for anyone who has been keeping track of the posts and polls about the most attractive men in America that Mr. Winner of 3 years in a row is quite ripped under all those layers he usually wears and when asked why he exercises to such a degree that it could rival the big bat, Mr. Wayne seemed to fumble for a bit before responding with a dazzling smile that he does so that he could carry all of his children.

Another reporter made comment about how all of his children were well past the age of being picked up.

Mr. Wayne proceed to state quite seriously to the reporter,

“They’re never too old for uppies.”

Apparently Mr. Wayne’s two eldest sons had heard their father’s statement as they shared a look before taking a running leap towards their dad with Dick Grayson Wayne bellowing “uppies!” In response.

Mr. Wayne, despite his well known clumsiness, caught both of his sons with a spin before calmly stating to the reporters that he had guests to talk to and then walked away with one boy sitting on each hip.

And let us remind our readers that neither men Mr. Wayne caught weigh less than an estimated 170 lbs!

The rest of the gala had our reporters spotting Mr. Wayne carrying his various children in various ways.

Message was well received, Kids are never too old for uppies, just too heavy!

But nothing less can be expected from the dad of the year.

Though, he may have competition here in Gotham, as eye witnesses have stated that they had seen our own Big Bat taking after our resident rich man.

But who can say? Maybe the two have a closer relationship than we know.

It had been stated that both Bruce Wayne and Batman have a similar physique to each-other with Batman being just slightly larger in size.

Maybe they share a workout routine?

We can only speculate.

What we can be sure of, is that Bruce loves his kids and would be willing to do anything to make them smile.

As always I am Vicky Vale.

*there are two photos shown along with the article. One of Bruce Wayne carting a staggering number of his children. With Cassandra and Damian Wayne on his shoulders, Dick Grayson Wayne and Jason Todd under each arm and Tim Drake Wayne clinging onto his front like a koala. It is noted that Duke Thomas is to the side seemingly recording the entire scene.

The second photo is of Batman with an annoyed Red Hood slung over his shoulder, trying to get loose.”

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

Another chapter of "The Waynes on Twitter" AO3 work

Masterlist of Tweets

<- Previous Next ->

17 - Love triangles are OUT, time for a love square

[vodrae]

Vicki Vale: Tell us more about your family !

Bruce: I dress as a bat to punch people.

Dick: I am the slaught in manslaught.

Barbara: I have 2 children in this room.

Jason: On my 2nd trial of life.

Tim: I'm bi.

Steph: I put my dad in jail.

Cass: 🤙🤙🤙

Duke: I have superpowers.

Damian: Mom told me it's okay to run with swords

Vicki Vale: Okay.

Alfred: I'm British

Vicki Vale: IS NOBODY FUCKING NORMAL AROUND HERE ?!

[gothamnewsnetwork-official]

The Social Event of the Season - the Wayne Enterprises Summer Gala

As summer comes to an end Gothamites often dread the upcoming season. School, heist season (see related articles), and Scarecrow’s annual Halloween gas attacks (see related articles) all being cited as reasons to hate the fall season.

That being said, the last few days of August leave us with a parting gift; the Wayne Enterprises Summer Gala (see related articles).

Long heralded as the ‘social event of the season’ by Gotham City’s (see related articles) upper echelons (see related articles), the Wayne Summer Gala is sure to stir up many a rumour.

Since its founding as a charity event, it has evolved into a yearly rager, though it maintains its charity ties; all profits from the gala (aside from staff wages) being donated to charities across our beloved city, the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation (see related articles) being one of the most recognizable examples.

Though it is invite-only, many Gothamites tune in to the red-carpet streams of many Gotham news outlets to get a glimpse of who will be attending and what scandals may unfold (see related articles).

Because of this, we have sent an intern to interview the host of the gala himself, Bruce Wayne (see related articles) ( @officialbruciewayne ), for further details on what we should expect. This is what he had to say on the matter -

“ Q: [to Mr. Wayne] What’s your goal with the upcoming gala? ”

“ A: Well obviously we're hoping to raise as much money as possible for charity.

I'd also like to use it the gala as a chance to network for the foundations, but nobody ever likes to talk shop at these things. Least of all me!

I plan to make off with every last mozzarella stick, get absolutely spannered and when I fall into the fountain this year, I'm going to take most of my clothes off and dance. ”

“ Q: And what about your newest adoptee, Duke Thomas? This is his first gala, correct? ”

“ A: I believe it's his first Late Summer Gala. He's attended- or almost attended -some other events. ”

“ Q: Are there any particular designers you or your family will be wearing for the gala? ”

“ A: Helena [ Helena Wayne (see related articles) ( @thebestofwaynes ), daughter of Bruce Wayne] has a new Balenciaga that suits her wonderfully. I plan to make a splash with some Tom Ford boxer-briefs.

I believe most of my wardrobe will be from a new menswear designer- though I'd prefer not to spoil their work ahead of time.

My tie was made for me by my daughter though. It was a birthday present. ”

“ Q: And what about press at the gala? ”

“ A: We have some independent reporters who are attending as guests- yourself included, I think, Clark Kent (see related posts) ( @official-clark-kent ) from The Daily Planet and Dottie McVeigh (see related articles) ( @dottie-mcveigh ), our standard press contingent, of course.

I’m sure Vicki [ Vicki Vale (see related articles), reporter for the Gotham Gazette] will be there, she might even entertain me. ”

“ Q: Are there any surprise charities or adoption announcements that we should expect? ”

“ A: I'm sure we'll find out at the same time - they don't tell me anything haha. ”

With that the interview concluded, and while we may not know the full details of this gala, this journal is sure it will not be one to forget.. We’ll be keeping you all updated on the latest developments of the event, so to all Gothamites, we recommend you stay tuned.

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

Gotham Reports is certified in unbiased, fair, and reliable journalism

-

* Due to circumstances outside of this journal’s control, we will be reducing the frequency of our longer articles and updates may become more sporadic for an unknown amount of time *

[crybabylulu]

Pt 18 this is correct and no I will not take criticism

Lucy: *trying to sneak out her room*

Jason: *walks into her room and catches her* where the fuck are you going?

Lucy: *hanging halfway out the window* there’s a block party in the Narrows

Jason: I’ll drive go get Steph and Duke

Lucy: yay *climbs back into her room then runs to Steph room*

Steph: *in her pjs watch the real housewives of Gotham*

Lucy: *bust in then closes the door behind her*

Steph: you could knock

Lucy: hush! *jumps in her bed* there’s a block party in the Narrows tonight Jason said he’ll drive

Steph: let me get dressed *hops out her bed to find an outfit*

Lucy: *runs into duke’s room but he’s not there* the fuck? *runs into the kitchen to see him with Bruce*

Bruce: no running in the house

Lucy: my bad hey Duke can i borrow you for just a second?

Duke: what for?

Lucy: I need your height to grab a book from the library *lying asf but still so smooth with it*

Duke: come on

Lucy: *drags him upstairs and to the empty library*

Duke: ok which boo-

Lucy: there’s a block party in the Narrows jason said he’ll drive us

Duke: *sighs* my Narrow party days are over

Lucy:….don’t play with me be in the car by eleven

Flatline: party?

Lucy: where tf did you come from? Also how’s bonding with Mr. Chuckles going?

Flatline; oh I snuck in through the window and bonding with him is going great I think he likes me

Lucy: oh that’s lovely anyways yeah party in the Narrows be in the car by eleven

Flatline: im gonna have to drag Damian with me

Lucy: that’s fine

*bonus*

*they made it to the Narrows and the everyone is dancing and or sitting on cars and hanging out*

Lucy & Steph: *eating burgers and dancing*

Jason: *impressing the ladies with his dance moves*

Duke: *found some old friends to talk to*

Damian and Flatline: *sitting on someone’s car just talking*

Anarchy: BABY SIS IS THAT YOU?!

Lucy: big brother! *runs over to anarchy and gives him a big hug*

*extra bonus*

Vicky Vale: *in a helicopter over the Narrows* it seems that everyone in the Narrows is getting along peacefully tonight

*below on the ground*

Jason: *trying to stop a fight* can we all just chill out and enjoy the party

Lucy: no but seriously I didn’t even get a hot dog yet!

Steph: THERES HOT DOGS?

Duke: let’s all calm down and just go back to partying

Damian: *ready to pull out his blade*

Flatline: don’t even think about it dami

*the block party gets shot up and the kids run back to the car*

Lucy: WE CANT HAVE SHIT IN THE NARROWS!

*extra extra bonus*

Bruce: why were you all in the Narrows?

Jason: who told you that?

Lucy: there is no proof

Steph: Bruce I think you’re getting old so you’re just saying and seeing things

Bruce: YOU WERE ALL ON THE NEWS! *turns on the tv to show Vicky reporting about the Wayne kids in the Narrows*

Lucy: that raggedy bitch

Steph: why did you date her again? She’s really nosy

Bruce: also why are you two in my house? *points at Anarchy and Flatline*

Flatline: I’m just waiting for mom (Rose) to come and get me

Anarchy: I’m just here for Lucy

Lucy: *smiles real big at her big brother*

[we-r-robin]

Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?

Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?

Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?

—

Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?

Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?

Duke Thomas: Am I what?

Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?

Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.

—

Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?

Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.

[tatimuller]

O Vale das Bonecas

Você terá que escalar o Monte Everest para alcançar o Vale das Bonecas. A escalada é brutal e poucas pessoas viram esse pico. Você jamais soube o que exatamente encontraria lá, mas a última coisa que esperaria era o Vale das Bonecas. Você fica ali parado, esperando pela felicidade que esperava sentir — mas ela não vem. Você está muito longe para ouvir os aplausos e para agradecê-los. E não há mais para onde subir. Você está sozinho e esse sentimento é mais forte que tudo. O ar é tão rarefeito que fica quase impossível respirar. Você conseguiu e o mundo o chama de herói. Foi mais divertido, porém, no começo da escalada, quando havia apenas a esperança e o sonho de realizá-la. Tudo o que você podia ver então era o cume da montanha, ninguém que o informasse sobre o Vale das Bonecas. Quando você alcança o píncaro tudo é diferente. A jornada o deixou arrasado, surdo, cego e cansado demais para que possa apreciar a vitória. Anne Welles nunca pretendeu fazer a escalada. Ainda assim, deu o primeiro passo no dia em que olhou à sua volta e disse: — Não, isso não me basta. Quero alguma coisa mais. — Quando encontrou Lyon Burke era muito tarde para voltar atrás.

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

[incorrectlovestruck]

VN MC: I think I can handle it. I went to Wharton.

Duke: Well, I went to Harvard.

Renzei: And I went to juvie and we’re all standing here, wearing costumes.

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

Congratulations to Aragorn x Arwen fans

Aragorn/Arwen won with Duke/Monarch in my one true ultimate shipping tournament and advanced to round two!    

Duke/Monarch fans, don’t weep, because your ship remains awesome!

undefined

[incorrectbatfam]

What are their euphimisms for vigilante stuff when they're in public?

Vicky Vale: So what are your plans after this press conference?

Bruce: Oh, nothing much, just running a few errands.

Dick: Yeah, I might hit the gym to let out some of the tension in my neck. *wink*

Jason: I heard the library got a new annotated Shakespeare catalogue. I think I'll check that out. *wink*

Tim: The annual reports are due soon so I'll be putting in overtime. *winks with both eyes*

Damian: One of my academic extracurriculars is having extra practice sessions for regional tournaments. *subtle wink*

Stephanie: I'm having McDonald's breakfast for dinner. *wink*

Cassandra: Don't forget smoothies. *wink*

Duke: I'm more of a Chipotle guy. *wink wink*

[later]

The batkids: *ready for patrol*

Dick, checking his watch: Weird, it's not like Bruce to be late.

Stephanie: It's kinda rude, especially after he lectured me for getting caught in traffic last Friday.

Bruce: *bursts into the Batcave out of breath*

Damian: You're half an hour late, Father. Where were you?

Bruce: Looking all over for you!

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce, to Dick: You said you were going to the gym.

Bruce, to Jason: You said you'd be at the library.

Bruce, to Tim: You said you were working overtime.

Bruce, to Damian: You said you had practice for a club.

Bruce, to Stephanie: You said you were going to McDonald's.

Bruce, to Cassandra: You said you were getting a smoothie.

Bruce, to Duke: And you said you were at Chipotle!

Dick: In hindsight, maybe we should've discussed this...

[clockwayswrites]

Rumors of a Prince

“You could always ask Jason to pay her a visit,” Dick said from where he was lounging, mostly upside down, on the couch in Bruce’s study.

Bruce frowned at him. “I am not going to have Jason kill Vickie Vale.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said kill!” Dick held his hands up or, rather, given his position, down. “I just meant puts some fear into her. Maybe kidnap her for a few days so that she can’t write any more libel.”

Bruce found himself smiling, slightly and against his better judgment. It faded away when he looked back at his laptop. “At least in this case, it wouldn’t do much good. The stories is already out there and, unfortunately, Vale’s take on it has captured the public’s attention.”

“Tim knows I bet… and Babs.”

“Undoubtedly by now.”

“And if those two know, Steph knows. If Steph knows, she’s ranted to Cass.”

“Yes.” This family was impossible to keep things secret in.

“Welp,” Dick said and swung himself to be sitting up normally— or as normally as Dick ever sat. “Then I guess we better tell the others. How do you want to divide this?”

Bruce was grateful that Dick was willing to be his partner in this. “You would be best to take Jason. I’ll speak with Damian. Either of us can catch Duke when he returns from his patrol.”

Dick nodded. “And Tom?”

“I think perhaps it would be best to have as much of the family in the manor as possible,” Bruce said after a moment. “If he destabilizes, I want him to know that we are around and that he is still safe.”

“Alright.” Dick slapped his knees once and stood. “I’ll drag Jason back then. You know he’ll come if it’s for Tom.”

“Make sure he reads the article before he comes over.”

Dick grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be best. I’m going to bring some food too over with me. Good luck convincing Dami that he can’t go and stab Vickie Vale.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dick chirped as he left for his task.

Bruce dropped his hand.

‘Gotham’s Pale Prince’ stared back at him from the screen.

-

“Seriously?!” Jason burst in through the kitchen door. “Have you read this swill?”

“Yes chum, of course I have,” Bruce said. He shot Dick, who trailing behind Jason’s fury, a look. Dick was supposed to get Jason to read the article before coming over.

Dick just shrugged helplessly and motioned in a way that conveyed Jason had read it and was still clearly quite upset.

“One of the biggest questions is,” Jason said, clearly reading now from the article with the air of Bristol accent he had put on, “perhaps, why the newest Wayne is not in school. Bruce has proven himself to be a champion of the educational system. This is despite the man himself being a college drop out’ like what the fuck?”

“To be fair, I am,” Bruce said.

Jason rolled his eyes and continued. “His oldest ward’— Dick is fucking adopted now, bitch!”

“Boo!” Steph echoed and tossed popcorn at the tablet Jason was holding.

(Bruce was neither sure when Stephanie had arrived nor where she got the popcorn.)

“Never going to college,” Jason said with a jab of his free hand, “and the second oldest never completing high school.’ I was dead you narrow minded shew!”

“Well, I mean, all she knows is that you were supposedly kidnapped by terrorists and tortured for years,” Dick said. He had moved over to help himself to Stephanie’s popcorn and paused raising the next handful to his face. “Okay, no, that’s actually worse.”

“And you are clear on your line that I cannot stab this woman for the dishonor she implies about the family?” Damian asked, again, as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Unfortunately we have to handle this the proper way, with a press conference,” Bruce said. Stabbing was looking increasingly appealing though.

Jason dropped into one of the open chairs. “I’d call it a battle of the wits, but I don’t think Vale has any left with this trash she’s writing!”

“Alright,” Tim said as he entered the kitchen with almost as much fury as Jason, just more contained. Cass followed in his wake. “I am sure that B has already run through no killing, no stabbing, no maiming, no poisoning—”

“No poisoning Vickie Vale,” Bruce said, feeling so tired.

“Way to go, Timbit, now we can’t poison her,” Jason groused.

Tim sighed, “Fair, I shouldn’t have assumed. I really thought someone else would have brought it up already.”

“People went for more bloody options,” Dick explained.

“Also fair,” Tim said, pointing at him. “Anyways, since we can’t do all that, can I ruin her reputation?”

“Tim,” Bruce sighed.

“Now come on old man, let’s here Timtam out,” Jason said, holding out his arm. “You said yourself we had to handle the proper way and I’m sure that our little socialite here knows just how to ruin her through something like a press conference.”

“You I can stab,” Tim said with a shark sharp smile towards Jason.

Jason returned it with a smile like broken glass. “You can try.”

“Oh, if you keep calling me a socialite I will try and I will manage.”

“Boys, please.”

“Are people threatening blood and violence again?”

Every head in the room swiveled towards the door to the hall.

Tom almost recoiled at the sudden attention of all of the family, taking a half step back and looking a little wide eyed.

Cass walked forward and wrapped her arm around Tom’s. “Tim is. To Jason.”

It took a moment for Tom to tear his eyes away from the family to look at his sister. “Of course. What’s… it about this time?”

“Jason is reminding Tim that he’s a rich society brat and Tim hates to be reminded about that even though it’s true because Tim is also a little freak and the upper crust would be applaud if they knew even a fraction of it,” Steph said before she stuffed his mouth full of more popcorn.

Everyone in the room paused for a moment.

“No, yep, I think that’s pretty much spot on,” Dick said. He wasn’t even pretending not to laugh.

The laughter was infectious and almost everyone was either snickering or outright laughing. Bruce even quirked up a little smile. Tom still looked mostly confused but at least less nervous.

“Come sit by me, little shadow,” Dick said with a smile.

When Thomas settled next to Dick, who immediately wrapped an arm around him, the room settled again into that slightly somber mood.

“What is going on?” Tom asked, voice small. There were times when he still seemed unsure if he could be a presence in a room or consternation. It was something that they were still working on as a family.

Bruce sighed. “A reporter found out about you and wrote an article with mostly speculation. Unfortunately, because of who I am in the city and my existing tendency to adopt, it’s getting attention.”

Tom chewed on his lip and Bruce just hoped he wouldn’t worry it so much it bled. “Bad?”

“Not bad towards you, but unkind. She made a lot of guesses and fact reasons about why the public hasn’t seen you,” Bruce explained.

“Oh. Am I…?”

The dropping of words wasn’t the best sign. Dick pulled Tom into his lap.

“No. Most of the children didn’t attend the press conference announcing them and you don’t have to either. But I will need to make one simply to clear up some of rumors. I wont say anything that you don’t want me to say.”

“Bruce and I can plan it out,” Tim said, “and then run it by you if you want to look over it.”

“Can… will… if anyone wants to help…”

“Of course!” Dick said cheerfully. “We can make a lunch of it or something. It will be the best press conference yet.”

“Yeah. And you don’t even have to watch it,” Jason said. “We’ll plan something fun for that day. The old man can go and do the hard work and we’ll enjoy ourselves.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Bruce said dryly, pretending he wasn’t warmed still whenever Jason refereed to him as anything approaching father.

“It’s what you deserve,” Jason said and tossed his tablet, cleared of the article, on the table. “Come on, let’s plan what we’re going to do.”

“The zoo is always enjoyable,” Damian said.

“You always say zoo,” Cass pointed out as she perched next to Jason.

“What about the park?” Steph suggested. She joined the others at the table and passed around her popcorn.

“Nah, Ivy has a new variety of tulips. I’m worried some of them might turn man eating again,” Dick said.

“We could head out of Gotham I guess,” Jason pointed out and pulled up the map.

Bruce slipped quietly out of the room with Tim on his heels.

“You can stay with them and help them plan,” Bruce offered. Tim was always too grownup, had been since before he came to Bruce.

Tim just shook his head. “I’m never the best distraction. I’ll be more use to you. Besides, I have some plans to run by you that doesn’t need the blood thirsty contingency hearing about.”

“Of course you do,” Bruce said with both a sigh and a smile.

“Nothing physical,” Tim defended himself. “I can ruin her legally.”

“That I have no doubt of.”

No matter what, Bruce had absolutely no doubt that the family would be there for Tom. They were a family, after all.

---

AN: Vickie Vale won't know what hit her. Esp after what she wrote.

Don't know if this will become a full sequel or not, but it was fun to revisit this universe and see how they've progressed!

[cokezuko]

Imagine though the hyjinx of the Batfam having little baby man Danny around as a brother/pet.

Dick in the kitchen with Tim : do you hear that?

*crunch*

Tim: oh shit he’s in the Doritos again!

Dick: I put baby locks on the cabinet!

Tim: he can phase through wood!

Danny: *hisses*

Then just the trouble he would get into without meaning too

Bruce; who tore up my shirt?

Dick: hm? Oh baby man got stuck in one of the sleeves and got scared.

Duke: the ironic part is we had to swaddle him for like ten minutes to get him to calm down.

Then He would just be a little mischief boy at galas

Bruce: miss vale! What a… unique hair style.

Vicki: *screams*

Danny:intangible with scissors the size of his little worm body.

Other favorites incude Danny trying to eat a grape fruit even though it is bigger then him.

Damian: you little imp that thing can literally crush you!

Danny:eats more aggressively.

Also Danny:bites Jason

Batfam:baby man no!

Jason: hold up! This thing is venomous! I like it!

Jason proceeds to try and kidnap Danny for his chill out venom that only works on Jason