#DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY THOUGHT PROCESS EVERYONE?
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oblivious-aro · 2 days ago
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This was pretty much my exact same thought process a week before I made this post. I do get where you're coming from, but here's a question: when does the episode explicitly condemn Danny for cheating? Does TUE actually say “cheaters deserve to watch their family die”?
Furthermore, consider this line from the end of the episode:
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Remembering this line was my turning point. Clockwork is a very wise character (he was literally just established to be omniscient right before saying this), and he’s the one teaching Danny the lesson TUE wants him to learn. If the lesson is supposed to be ‘cheating is bad’, wouldn't that be completely undone by having Clockwork immediately turn around and, by his own admission, and in those exact words, “cheat”? It’s a very prominent line with a lot of attention called to it, too.
“Cheating is bad” is the kind of moral you’d expect this kind of kids cartoon to make, so I think a lot of us preemptively filled in that blank without truly listening to what the episode was actually saying. I get it, I watched my sister struggle through the public education system while getting practically no help or sympathy from it, and I'm sure a lot of viewers were in the same boat as her. Academic pressure can be a sensitive subject, especially if it looks like a character is being chastised for struggling, but that's not what’s happening here. We jumped the gun. The text doesn’t look down on Danny for wanting to cheat. He’s in a difficult position, and being forced further and further into a corner is a feature of the story, not a bug. Danny's situation feels unfair so that the audience understands why he wants to cheat:
"OK! I get it! You're brilliant, I'm stupid, and I'll never be able to get as high a score as you."
"Guys, come on. I'd love to have spent the last month studying, but I was fighting ghosts! Besides, if you two think this test is so meaningless, why do you even care if I cheat? Why shouldn't I open this up and study the answers, huh?"
TUE’s stance isn’t that “cheating is evil”, it’s “cheating isn’t worth the risk”. Despite what Danny’s been led to (erroneously) believe, he’ll have other chances and opportunities if he does badly on a test, even one this big. There are people in his corner looking out for him (Mr. Lancer gives him to come forward even when he knows Danny stole the answers, and literally offers him a make-up test. Clockwork messes with the timeline just to tell Danny that he’s a good kid who deserves more than one chance), but getting caught cheating really could screw up his future. You could still say that’s an anti-cheating message, but the writers do show more sympathy for Danny than people give them credit for.
I don't think the concepts are that abstract. Everything that happens in the present is presented directly, and the main idea you need to get out of the future stuff (bad stuff happened because Danny got caught cheating) is pretty simple and clear. Everyone I've heard talk about the episode seems to get the basic idea.
As for all these events caused by Clockwork… yeah that's 100% true. But given that Clockwork is all-knowing, the master of time, and clearly sympathetic to Danny, it can only be assumed he’s doing what he can to help Danny. Omniscient/psychic characters are kind of weird like that. They make the stories they’re in a bit messy, and you can't really judge their actions by typical standards (ie. Garnet from Steven Universe). Same with time travel, but I won't go into much into detail, because this post is long enough and discussing rules around time travel can get overly technical, but the gist of it is Clockwork is on Danny’s side, but he’s working under some very specific restraints, either from The Observants or from the natural laws of the timestream.
Danny isn’t being taught that cheating makes him bad, he’s being taught not to place such unhealthy (and unrealistic) importance on his academic performance. Sure, this lesson isn’t explicitly stated in exact words, much like the themes in Teacher of the Year, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that the writers were just trying to condemn Danny in either intent or execution.
And as was the original point of this post, the episode really speaks for itself:
"Maybe that's all anybody needs…a second chance."
"I guess the future isn't as set in stone as you think it is."
"And here we are with you, a fourteen-year-old child, risking everything to save the people you care about. You've given everyone else a second chance. Why not you?"
Me for years: I can't believe The Ultimate Enemy is telling kids they deserve something as horrible as watching your entire family die for cheating on a test!
the Ultimate Enemy:
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dorabellingham · 1 day ago
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Complicated
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warning: none
characters: jude x reader
summary: when you're trying to make dinner but he ends up making an unnecessary comment that bothers you
request: yess!
may contain spelling and translation errors!
It was a quiet night in your home, and you and Jude decided to cook dinner together. You were chopping vegetables while Jude stirred a pan on the stove. It was one of those simple and intimate moments that you loved, where the conversation flowed without rushing.
—You’re getting good at this, huh?
Jude commented, watching you wield the knife with precision.
—Only because you didn’t see how many fingers I almost cut off earlier.
You replied with a light laugh.
He laughed, exchanging knowing glances. You loved these moments with your boyfriend, where nothing seemed complicated or distant.
—Do you think we’ll be like this forever?
You asked, almost distracted, as you organized the vegetables.
—Like what?
Jude replied, turning to you.
—I don’t know... so comfortable. Like, even after everything we’ve been through, it seems like we’ve never lost that.
—Of course, babe. You’re my safe place. You always have been.
The comment made you smile, but before you could respond, Jude added something, distracted as he stirred the pan:
—And I’m lucky, because you’re not as complicated as other people I know.
You froze. The words were simple, but they sounded like a blow. It wasn’t what Jude had said, but how it sounded at that moment.
—I’m not complicated?
You asked, trying to hide the hurt tone.
Jude looked up, noticing something strange in your voice.
—That’s not what I meant. It’s just… I don’t know, you’re easier to deal with than a lot of people.
You dropped the knife on the counter, trying to process it. All you could think about were the times you felt like you were a burden to him —especially with your crises and the difficulty in adjusting to life in Madrid. That sounded like confirmation that you needed to try harder not to be a burden.
—Easy to deal with? —You repeated, your voice now lower. —Jude, do you have any idea how that sounds to me?
—Y/n, calm down. That's not what I meant. I just... —He ran his hand through his hair, clearly confused by your reaction. —I just meant that you're amazing and that you make everything seem simpler.
You took a step back, crossing your arms.
—But it's not simple, Jude. I'm not simple. I'm full of problems and insecurities. You know that.
—And I never said that was bad! —Jude exclaimed, getting closer. —Sweetie, you're human, like everyone else. But I love you precisely for who you are.
You looked away, biting your lower lip to hold back the tears. You knew Jude hadn't meant any harm, but his comment brought back all the times you felt inadequate, as if you needed to be "easy" to deserve his love.
—You'll never understand what it's like to feel like that. —You whispered. —Because you’re Jude Bellingham. Everyone loves you effortlessly.
—Hey, hey. —He held your arms gently, forcing you to look at him. —Don’t say that. Everyone can love me as a player, but who I really am… only you know. And you’re the one who makes me feel complete.
You blinked, letting out a stubborn tear.
—It’s just… sometimes I feel like I need to be perfect. That I can’t be a complication in your life.
Jude sighed, pulling you into a hug.
—Babe, you’ve never been a complication. I’m sorry if what I said made you think that. You’re the best thing in my life, and I love even the complicated parts of you.
You were silent for a moment, leaning your head against his chest as you felt the warmth of his embrace.
—I’m sorry for reacting like that. —You murmured. —It’s just that I…
—You don’t have to apologize. —He interrupted, kissing the top of your head. —I was the idiot. I should have thought before I spoke.
You stood there, hugging each other, while the smell of the sauce began to grow stronger. Jude pulled away a little, holding your face with his hands.
—You're perfect for me, Y/n. Not because it's easy, but because it's you.
You nodded, still feeling the weight of your emotions, but also the comfort of his words.
—I love you, Jude.
—I love you too. And please, let me know when I say something stupid again.
You laughed softly, wiping your face with the sleeve of your shirt.
—I think you already know when you say it.
—Fair enough. —He smiled and went back to the stove. —But for the record, I think I burned the sauce.
—Really? —You rolled your eyes, laughing. —I think we both need help in the kitchen.
Jude smiled at you, relieved to see you calmer.
—As long as I have you here, we can burn as many dinners as we need.
And with that, the tension was replaced by laughter and jokes, as you tried to save dinner.
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leighsartworks216 · 11 hours ago
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Self-Destruction
Zayne x gn!Reader
Based on my actual teacher and when I used to sh when I got angry. Please please don't read if you think this could trigger you <333
Warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, anger, implied/referenced self-harm, self-destructive behavior/tendencies, no real ending
Word Count: 731
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It takes every ounce of self-restraint you have left in your body not to slam the door shut behind you. It doesn't matter, in any case, because the second the door is closed, everything bursts out of you.
You toss your bag to the floor with an angry groan. Tears burn your eyes. You can feel your lungs shaking with the effort it takes to try breathing normally. It feels awful. You wish this feeling would just go away, but it doesn't. It burrows deeper and deeper into your body, tearing through muscle and bone. You wish you could claw it out. The best you can do is bury your face in your hands and will away the rising need to break something.
"Love?"
Fuck, of course Zayne's home right now. You forgot he was taking a half-day, working at the hospital in the morning and finishing the rest of his work from home.
"What happened?" he asks with that gentle sort of urgency. "Where's your painting?"
Ugh, that fucking painting! "I threw it away," you grit out.
His footsteps are too loud as he approaches you, quicker than his usual steps. He grabs your hands, urging them away from your face. "Why?"
You feel hysterical as the emotions pour out of you. He interlaces your fingers together, holding your hands hostage even as you try to gesture with them.
"Because my teacher fucking sucks! I worked so, so hard on this one! You saw! You know! I just- I put it on the easel to present it and she fucking tore it apart, Zayne! Every little fucking thing! I tried to, you know, explain the fucking thought process behind it, just like everyone else, and you know what she did?! She ignored every single word I said! She said she didn't like it, she didn't understand it, it doesn't make sense, so she just shut down every single explanation I had! She wouldn't listen to anything! It's just-" Zayne tugs gently on you. You give in easily, dropping your head to rest on his shoulder. "It's not fair."
He squeezes your hands. They're cold, and you don't know if it's because of his Evol or if you're just running that hot from your outburst. "She only did that to yours?"
You nod against him, curling your nails toward his skin, before easing them flat against the scars on the back of his hands. He rubs his thumb against the meat of yours in small, soothing circles. "She actually critiqued everyone else's. But everything she said about mine? That wasn't fucking constructive criticism, it was just her own grievances. And I don't know if it's just me-"
"Whether she has something against you or not, that does not excuse the blatant unprofessionalism and disrespect she showed you," he interjects. "If you would like, I can help you file a complaint against her."
"Yes, please," you agree immediately.
He huffs a slight laugh. "Let's calm down first, alright?"
He lets go of your hands to hold your wrists. He guides them to sit on his chest, over his heart and lungs. Each breath he takes pushes against them, raising and falling in slow, even breaths. By your ear, you can hear those same slow breaths. You follow along.
Inhale for four seconds.
Hold for two.
Exhale for four.
The pattern continues for a couple minutes, until the anger simmers down. If you really needed to, Zayne would let you stay there for hours. It was better than the alternative.
When you got really angry like this, when it feels like breaking something is the only way to get it out of you, you'd turn it back on yourself. Destroying your art supplies may sound like an instant soother, but you're all too cognizant of how expensive and important it all is. But skin can heal.
Zayne, for obvious reasons, immediately worked to find solutions to help. Namely, holding your hands to keep them off of your arms or legs, and putting himself into position to take the pain. Not that you ever were able to dig your nails into him, even at your most desperate. The guilt of hurting him was too strong to even consider it. So, this way, no one got hurt.
"Better?"
(After this, he would help you file the report and retrieve your painting from the trash <333)
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Tag List:
@the-golden-jhope @deepzombieyouth @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko
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thatuselesshuman · 5 months ago
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Okay ik ik that the whole point behind 'Kim Dokja will be killed by the one he loves most' was that the story killed him but WHAT IF-
Kim Dokja is Yoo Joonghyuk's sponsor. The Demon King of Salvation is Yoo Jonghyuk's sponsor. Yoo Joonghyuk killed his sponsor.
Kim Dokja truly was killed by the one he loved the most, wasn't he?
Post edit: IM A NOVEL READER Y'ALL I'VE FINISHED THE NOVEL 😭😭
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dykedvonte · 3 months ago
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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uglyf4wn · 21 days ago
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realizing that communication actually doesnt matter as much as ppl say it does, bc most ppl glorify it and see it as a magical solution when in fact communicating your feelings/wants/needs only work if other ppl are receptible to it. which... most ppl arent, both bc many dont want to bc it requires too much effort of them and it's easier to shift blame on others not "communicating", but also bc many many ppl just have brains that arent wired to understand others, or other viewpoints and perspectives. thus, no level of communication will make someone who isnt capable of receiving it hear you. most efforts to "communicate" are completely wasted. and it's frustrating, but what can u do?
#one of my main examples of this is...#i clearly stated in the beginning of someone expressing potential interest in me#that i have feelings for someone and i cant help that or do anything abt and its just how it is#but that person continued to call me stupid for not just stopping my feelings for my person#thats just an example *i* FEEL is obvious#even if u tell someone or warn someone or give someone a head ups#if they arent capable of comprehending it or you... it wont matter#they will still hurt / punish / get mad at u for not being what they want#so yeah... makes me wanna scream#humans are just too much fkn pain in the ass </3#i barely even see the point in being upfront or direct or honest anymore#it doesnt even fucking matter bc apparently most ppl are fkn incapable of hearing u 😒#i've always thought it so important to be considerate to others#not waste their time... not give them fair warnings etc etc#but more and more i feel like 9/10 they just fkn lash out on u anyway#maybe i should just be sketchy and dodgy and vague distant and detached and avoidant like everyone else is#and just protect myself and my own selfish desires and needs and wishes. everyone else does that.#i just am not wired to look at ppl and see what they can give me or what i can use them for#thats why i often am just upfront and honest. i dont see ppl as merchandise or their sole purpose being to serve me and my needs#im just a human and theyre a human and we have a mutual thing going#but no. nooooo. thats how *i* work. i've learned that now#most (not all but far too many im tired) look at others and automatically calculate how they can use them#what they can get out of talking to u. what they can take and get from u. how to make u act the way they want to#idk where im going with this.... uh. i just dont see the point in communicating. ppl dont listen..#bc they dont want to cummincate. they want u to shut up and act like the marionette they see u as. they dont wanna hear u out or understand#they want u to just behave and act how they tell u. thus communicating is a total waste of energy 9/10 times#like .. for example on here. i can put like warning im mentally ill in my bio. but ppl will still be personally affeonted when i act that#way to myself ... most ppl just are not capable of listening to others or processing the fact that others dont exist for them#it doesnt matter how much u try to be honest or direct or upfront bc they dont care. they dont hear it. they wont adjust or respect u.#so why even bother communicating? or warn? or be direct? none of that even makes a lick of difference its so futile
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sieglinde-freud · 2 months ago
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missing the maribelle/tharja family unit today. i think maribelle would be elated to have a daughter. she meets noire for the first time and she goes “do you play chess? violin? ride? drink tea?” and noire goes “no but im really good at throwing up in a bucket” and maribelles like “oh!!!! okay!!!!” i think she finds noire’s talisman persona charming. chrom is like “um maribelle can you please go get your daughter… she’s terrorizing the camp” and she goes “shes harmless! why do you hate women?” and he never speaks on it again. i think tharja needs a kid that will beef with her and i think brady is 100% the guy to do it. i think she looks at him and goes “what is your problem” and he flips her off. she tries to curse him but he spins his staff ninja style deflecting them back at her. he serves tea to his moms but he spits in tharjas and she knows it. and then she drinks it because it pisses him off. brady could come to love her at some point but it will not be easy and it will not come without a lot of work and a lot of arguing and i think i need some more parent/child conflict in this game. awakening gets one f bomb and its hidden in the random tharja brady PC support where he just goes “FUCK YOU” Tharja and Brady attained support level B.
#ann plays awakening#they are my favorites…#and like. besides the big four of the awakening kids#brady and noire have always been my favorites…#i like to think about this family a lot even if i dont talk about them quite as frequently#i wish i had something to write about for them like contained into a fic but i dont have any ideas that could get me that#far#just little thoughts about what i want to see#brady and tharja especially like i understand why noire loves tharja i do#curses aside thats still your mom who raised you and protected you#and everyone processes trauma and grief differently#but i think brady would be a fun counterbalance bc i think he would be pissed!!#rightfully so!!!#i like to think that while his talent for healing magic comes from maribelle#he only really took it up after maribelle died because there was no one else to protect his sister#and i think noire wouldnt mind taking the brunt of tharja’s cruelty if it meant her brother wouldnt#like god… they could be the cutest siblings ever#and the saddest.#also i j think that the parent child conflicts in this game are lacking#you have gerome and cherche but thats entirely one sided and its bc gerome is scared not bc of any malice#severa is a little bit harsher just because shes severa but the same thing goes down with her and cordy where shes just scared.#and a little bitter bc of the chrom thing but mostly scared#and its like. cherche and cordelia didnt even do anything wrong anyways. tharja did and someone should call her ass out!!!!!#i love tharja btw. not a tharja hate post but i think it would be fun if she was forced to confront her potential fate#by looking at the direct consequence of her future actions (angry son who hates her) if she doesnt change#JUST SAYING#whatever anyways. tharjabelle family unit hit post
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s1xseasonsandamov1e · 6 months ago
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i love when people pretend that not liking taylor swift is some crazy controversial thing like bitch you know damn well
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echothelover · 7 months ago
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The thing about relating too much to Juri is it can and will make you a Shiori apologist
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crossbackpoke-check · 3 months ago
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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ant-diary · 7 months ago
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I think I have maybe decided to tell someone I no longer want to be friends with them, but I'm wondering if I should give it a few more days before I commit to it
#anthill#pretty much everyone except the one mutual friend I have with this person has said I should#the one friend said that what she did was shitty and could I understand if I did#but also thinks that it is something that we could maybe work from#I'm not really asking for advice I'm just processing my feelings out loud#I kind of had a revelation about boundaries today#and I've been really blaming myself for not being firm on mine and letting this person cross an emotional boundary#but that doesn't exist in a vacuum#I can say no to things and often do#its when substances or I guess in this case horniness is involved that creates problems#if she were completely platonically cuddling I would have said no to anything further#but with reasonably doubt adjusting positions turned into active grinding#and when she asked if she could touch me further I said but that will turn me on so idk#it wasn't an enthusiastic consent#which she only got after continously grinding on me#and like the situation that my ptsd is like hey this is just like this other time#involved someone asking to make out 3 times which I said no to consecutively until they got me crossfaded#its not a not setting boundaries problem so mu h as not recognizing patterns of behavior that people employ#until they can dubiously get my consent#and needing to learn those patterns#also saying 'be firm on your boundaries' is about as helpful as saying 'don't be anxious'#like wow! I've never thought of that before! youre a vissionary thank you!#like I don't blame myself enough.
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not so simp on main but
claude looking at me while trying to decide which part of my face to kiss but i suddenly go "you have pretty eyes" and he loses it. he cant do it. how dare i attack him like that. the king of almyra himself. meanwhile helios seeing him look away and take a step back like ??? "did you just see a spider or something????"
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fardf150 · 6 months ago
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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thedevotionaltour · 9 months ago
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marvel should hire me to write bc i'd pull the funniest thing on earth where i am wiping his catholic slate CLEAN and i would explcitily have him go ehhhh i've never really been religious me and my dad went some easters and christmases and attended a few services outside of that but that stopped by the time i was around 10 and my dad just kinda gave up on it because he didn't particularly want to go by that point either. and even then we hadn't gone every year for easter and christmas in that time frame. and then we never bring that shit up again in the story. he is only catholic in the sense he went a few times and it's the only church experience he knew and his dad probably grew up going to church more in his youth being dragged in by his family but he never felt particularly compelled to go back to it once he moved out on his own. catholic only in the fact that his family was irish catholic but his dad is a lapsed catholic who did not give a fuuuuuck
#based off my own father's filipino catholic experiences. and my own religious experiences in general. bc my mom's protestant but still didnt#raise me religiously. i've been to church a handful of times and it was never bad but it never ever stuck. i just kinda remember some stuff#and what i do know it's more from the general cultural osmosis of american christianity than anything#plus i grew up in a known for its religiosity suburb. but again. that still didnt really rub off on me.#in my mind jack is a guy who when entering a church will still dip his fingers in the holy water and cross with it#and matt watches and maybe mimics but he doesnt really get it still bc their service attendance has been so extremely infrequent.#so i imagine it's far more like that for matt than the insane bs they've been pullin the last few years. given the you know.#50 somethings years of established only really culturally casually catholic matt. bc well. why wouldnt he be new york irish catholic.#i imagine is the thought process. but i will never be a fan of how it's a big deal now. bc it just never has been. ever#and that's not to say a character cannot become religious or be religious or have it become more of a thing in their life!#very much it can be done. but i think it's been done piss poor. from all i've seen and what i've read of recent stuff. so it's just bad.#like it isnt done in a meaningfully way or sensical to my understanding. it's like. pure show pandering fanon appeal.#so it's utterly meaningless as a whole with no point or purpose aside from it#can we go back to just using it for cool art visuals bc i think we can all appreciate a cool splash page of a church fight and stuff#but please. dont try to make it more than that if you arent going to do it well#SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE ON PLANET DD HAS MADE THIS POST BUT I REMEMBER AND GET SOOOOO IRRITATED!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID POINTLESS DUMB I HATE ITT#static.soundz
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sunrise-on-the-shore · 10 months ago
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i need so much time to process the information i have encountered today. i'm gonna be away for a bit.
#sunrise thoughts#i do not have the stability for this.#call me a coward and an imbecile who fell to parasocial relationship stuff i get it i get it#also people keep saying to not speculate but they're doing so so much speculating and i'm so confused and lost#and i'm aware i should watch shubble's stream and such#but i am not stable at all. i am not capable of watching something that will deeply fuck me up.#i'm not ready and i don't think i will be ready for a LONG LONG while.#if you follow this blog or/and you're my friend you know why.#i am so so sorry for shubble and what she went through is horrible and i'm so fucking sad for her#but i cannot process some of the information that's happening right now.#i am aware shubble has decided to not share names for her safety which i very very much understand.#and i know when i say this it's extremely selfish and so fucking bad but i am begging i am genuinely begging#that everyone who seems to have 'guessed' who the abuser is to be wrong#i know it's extremely bad to say#but i am entering denial mode of the grief processus right now.#and like i said. i will need SO much time to process things.#i've had such a massive special interest on this man's content since 2021. it is my strongest special interest ever.#a literal pillar of my life is crumbling down in a completely unexpected way#so please don't yell at me for not being able to watch this stream and such#i need time#plus the topic is very very sensitive to me for personal reasons too#anyway. that's all i will say. and i said way too much already.
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zo1nkss · 1 year ago
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I think yt ppl have a tendency to see BIPOC having an opinion and think it means they have to inherently change how they engage with something. I think BIPOC need to be allowed more space to vent without it having to be some significant thing everyone needs to care about.
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