#the problem is that it really is so well meaning when ppl say certain things

[gibbearish]

like idk i generally disagree with the whole "go outside touch grass" response but boy howdy

[trans-axolotl]

i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

[ravenbloodshot]

Lee Know- Stray Kidz....Red + Green Flags

❤

Once again, this guy likes to create chaos in his environment especially if he's bored or feels wronged

Hes not someone you want to make an enemy of, he's the type to tell all of your personal business and talk a lot of shit about his enemies/people that he feels betrayed by. He has a really childish way of reacting to betrayal, the type of guy that may leak information about a nemesis on like a private Instagram account.

He can be very petty and revengeful, the type to participate in tit for tat games with an enemy.

Ps. I keep referring to people he dislikes as intense things like enemy and nemesis, so Lee Know may hold onto strong feelings of disdain for ppl. He doesnt get over his hate for certain ppl and may go out of his way to show how much he despises his opposition

He has lazy tendencies, like not wanting to clean up after himself and he may be one of the members on the group that has to be constantly told to clean up better or to help contribute to the cleaning of the dorms(You guys know how easy it is to get into arguments about cleanliness and he may get into a lot of vocal fights about this issue)

He's quite an emotionally unstable person, he can randomly start crying about the smallest things or even have a cold, impassive emotional approach to things he maybe should feel more for

He also can be emotionally manipulative with ppl, using sadness and depression to make ppl pity him and want to help him

He can be a selfish and self centered guy, very possessive of his things as well and doesn't like to share. (Reminds me of a kid at a play date that makes a little girl cry because he snatched his toy out of her hand, like "this is mine, go get your own")

He has unresolved mommy issues that creates problems for him now and in the future

He can be a temperamental drunk, hes the type to get shit faced and start fights with ppl or be antagonistic

He doesnt care much about politics or world issues, not very up to date on things happening even in his own country

He can play mind games with lovers, making them think that hes looking to get married to them and settle down, but hes really is just looking for fun, temporary paradise. He may indulge in sex with many different ppl, I see foreigners as well, but once hes done then he moves on

💚

He's a guy that's very intune with his dark side, dark thoughts so hes not afraid to face the deep, depressive side of life. Like, you can tell him about the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to you and he wouldn't be surprised, or like the type to walk on egg shells around you, he would be mature and deep with talking about these types of dark things. Won't shy away or feel burdened

Hes a really authentic guy, what you guys see on camera is the real Lee know, he may even be the type to lowkey tell fans when hes in a relationship. Like, if fans would ask him to marry them he would reply "that opportunity is taken" and say something sly of that sort "jokingly". And fans might use that as a shipping tool with another member, "of course he's talking about his husband Han" but in reality hes LITERALLY telling you guys hes taken.

I also see that, fans or just ppl in general try to take a lot of what lee know says as jokes (especially if it's too dark and doesn't fit the idol image they have for him) but he really means what he says. Let's just say, rarely anything said by him is just a joke so pay more attention to what he says bc theres truth in his words (That's probably why he rarely does solo vlives or they just dont last too long, company rather he doesnt speak too much truth)

Hes a very goal oriented guy, he knows where he wants to go/be in life and isnt letting anyone get in between him and his bag. He probably has plans for success whether or not hes in Stray kids

He may be a great cook or baker, he started like baking from a therapeutic sense, and now he may have a good relationship with food and a kitchen. I sense hes a better baker than anything, makes really good pastries

As a lover, hes spontaneous and wild. Hes definitely a good time and can feel compelled to get up to all kinds of crazy adventures with his lover. In committed relationships, he can provide stability and doesnt run away when things get hard. Also, hes a charming, chivalrous guy and gives his partner his full attention, may stare at them a lot but it's not too creepy, it generally makes his partners feel like hes into them.

[shindidnothingwrong]

Im gonna say what nobody else got the balls to say.

Warning: Anti KawaSumi post, dont like dont read.

KawaSumi didnt grow in popularity because it had any basis or development or even a bond or good chemistry, despite what this fandom wants you to believe because unfortunately this side of the fandom has many silent voices and only a few brave handful of us actually speak up and speak out, despite what they wanna brainwash you to believe KawaSumi really doesnt have a leg to stand on and nobody genuinely joined the ship because there was actually any basis for it, the real reason ppl started pushing this pathetic keep away ship was because of big biased exposure.

1 SP is no stranger to making their biases known, nor do they make it any secret which ships and characters they favor more than others, for example the studio clearly has a great dislike for Sakura, Sasuke, and SasuSaku and clearly favored Naruto and Hinata, for a long while it was clear the studio REALLY wanted NaruSaku endgame up till a certain point they realized NaruHina was most likely endgame they started clearly showing excessive favoritism to Hinata and NH and suddenly pretending as if they never supported NaruSaku even tho it was revealed many of them did and were upset it didnt happen.

Long story short, history is repeating itself with now SP clearly having a strong bias for BoruSara, lets just not even pretend their not highkey pushing the ship cuz they are, that doesnt mean it’ll be canon tho but they ARE showing a clear bias towards it. Honda, a writer at the studio, is notorious for some of the worst written episodes in the franchise minus 2 episodes that were actually done well, hes known for writing things based on ‘his interpretations’ rather than whats established in canon, as such it often leads to horrible characterizations, inconsistencies, and just terrible writing altogether.

These details are important for this first point, KawaSumi growing in popularity due to biased exposure.

To sum it up, the first and arguably the biggest thing to kickstart this mess was SPs bias, rather than sticking to what was established in the manga they created a whole nother timeline and course of events which for some unusually convenient reason featured Sumire being the first person to care about and reach out to Kawaki before Naruto and Sarada, to be the first to see and understand and relate to his pain before Naruto and Sarada.

Keep in mind, put shipping aside for a moment, Naruto was Kawakis FIRST bond, the FIRST to care about him, the FIRST to understand and see his pain and relate to him and see HIMSELF in him, that is what made his and Narutos bond so special.

Even though nothing Sumire said mattered or got through to him at all, that didnt matter to that fanbase tho, the seeds were planted and now till this day ppl say that SUMIRE is his first bond, the first to care, the first to understand, the first to relate and see herself in him, his first friend etc. Guess who was the writer for those episodes? Honda of course, nuff said.

Those two episodes single handedly undercut Naruto and Sarada’s bond with Kawaki entirely, it put Sumire on this pedestal while Naruto and Sarada are beneath her, the fact that Sumire had to BEG Naruto to hear Kawaki out and give him a chance when in the manga Naruto instantly ignored everybody and already had his mind made up regardless of how they felt about it just made it that much worse, SP knew EXACTLY what they were doing with this, whether it had any impact on Kawaki or not is irrelevant, its the impact on the fandom that was the problem.

To put this into perspective I’ll give another quick example of another one of Honda’s ‘interpretations’ dividing the fandom when they otherwise shouldnt have been, in the episode where Kurama dies Naruto essentially says that he and Sasuke arent brothers and that Sasuke already has a great brother in Itachi, which completely contradicts what Kishimoto himself established for 15 fkin years, regardless the SNS fandom of course took that and ran with it as proof that Naruto and Sasuke arent brothers despite Kishimoto himself literally writing this from Narutos literal point of view how he sees Sasuke from beginning to now.

Naruto, from Kishimotos own words and writing, says blood ties dont matter and that there are stronger links than that, that love is all you need, that it doesnt matter if your family is real or fake as long as you CARE for them, so the fact that Honda’s words are given more validity than Kishimoto the creator himself is truly mind boggling but thats just how easily SP, Honda especially, can quickly and easily divide the fandom on certain subjects that have long been established for years by simply changing it on a whim and ppl just running with it.

So this situation with Sumire was no different, it didnt matter what was established in the manga, Honda rewrote otherwise and thats what ppl ran with, that was strike 1.

2 Biased news articles, thats right, after those episodes aired you even had journalists pushing the idea of the ship out there, implying that it was already being set in motion and making WAY more out of it than it actually was, it wasnt long before if you searched ‘Kawakis crush’ or ‘who does Kawaki like’ that would be the top result, which is something this fandom also use as evidence despite it being an unofficial source and entirely speculatory and opinion based, again the damage was already done, the seed was planted, thats all thats needed.

This CBR article says it all on its own, implying a love triangle that doesnt exist, claiming that Kawaki likes her and that shes his ‘light’ when neither such things have ever been confirmed by any official source nor shown anywhere in canon, despite that, this article paints this false picture of a love triangle that doesnt exist, at the moment there is simply one semi canon ship and that is BoruSumi, there is no love triangle confirmed at this point in time, Sumire is the only character whos feelings have been confirmed by official sources, nobody else.

3 Big youtubers and big twitter accs, youtubers especially, one in particular that REALLY kicked the ship into high gear was Naruto Explained, I shit you not, ppl actually took a youtubers words as law and evidence for why the ship is totally endgame, there were literal discussions being had that these ppl would bring up his videos as evidence, some random guy on youtube opinion is somehow a valid argument for the ship but not the manga itself or the many official sources that contradicts it.

He said he was gonna make videos for all the ships which he did but lets be real, he only made one video about InoSara and KawaSara while he made multiple videos about BoruSara and KawaSumi, there was an obvious agenda being pushed. Not assuming his ship preference because I dont know and I dont care, but its clear which fanbase he was pandering to, same goes for SP and Honda specifically.

These 3 things combined is what got the ship started, a key thing to note is that all 3 of these dont just push KawaSumi but push BoruSara as well, coincidence? I think not.

So whenever anyone tells you that ppl like/ship KawaSumi because its ‘obvious’ or that theres ‘chemistry’ or whatever other bs they claim between them that doesnt exist anywhere in canon, just know the only reason this ship is even known by ppl is because if got alot of biased support and push from high places, not because the ship itself was any good and ppl genuinely liked it for what it was, but because they were brainwashed into believing theres something there that really isnt.

KawaSara grew from a genuine like of the ship and the build up it got in the manga that drew ppl to it who genuinely liked what their relationship was and developing into, even without the Nue arc BoruSumi became semi canon in the manga first in chapter 19 when Sumire confessed, so with or without the anime BoruSumi had basis for fans to ship them since one side of it HAS confirmed romantic feelings for the other, neither KawaSara nor BoruSumi needed a boost from outside biased sources brainwashing them with lies, those ships thrived just fine with just what was established in the manga alone, the anime/novels was just a bonus, but the ships already had their own merits and basis on their own.

Of course I already know there will be ppl who’ll say Im just downplaying the ship cuz Im biased or jealous etc etc but really Im just tellin the truth, you cannot tell me at any point prior to 190-191 where KawaSumi had any significant amount of support, it was a crackship at most, it wasnt until the ripple effect from another one of Honda’s brilliant ‘interpretations’ that got this bullshit started and everything else just started falling into place from there. It was NOT because people actual saw a genuine appeal for the ship, but because of what they were lead to believe. 

If you look at the novels/manga its very apparent they are hinting BoruSumi and that they have a deep & special bond between them, Sumires love for Boruto is clear and visible, in the anime after 190-191 however they not only cut BOTH her confessions from the manga but they also make her feelings uncertain rather than being straightforward like the manga. 

If you look purely at how their relationship is in the manga its extremely distant, Kawaki gives no special treatment/care towards Sumire than he does anyone else, and Sumire gives no special treatment or care towards him than she does anyone else either, Kawaki is indifferent towards her and Sumire is just a kind and caring person concerned for someone she sees going through a hard time, theres nothing special or significant between them to justify ppl calling it the ‘obvious’ endgame already just for Sumire doing the bare minimum as his caretaker and Kawaki allowing her to because well, thats her job, she works with Katasuke and he allows him to work on him so why would he reject Sumire? again Im speaking manga only to make the point of the nonexistent basis for this ship. 

SP/Honda literally gave a horrible ship a false sense of weight that was so unnecessary that did way more harm than good for not just them but so many other characters by extension. They created a domino effect that fueled these few ppls fanon perceptions so much they perceive these ‘fanon’ interpretations as canon because big sources support it right? so it must be endgame, even the studios lowkey pushing for it so that must mean its canon. 

You may think its harmless ship teasing for now or that its no big deal but trust me, the same way SP had a huge influence on the perception of NaruSaku as the potential endgame ship and peoples reaction to it not happening, the same will happen with KawaSumi and BoruSara and I’d argue its gonna be worse this time around than in OG because back then atleast you could argue all the extra NS stuff was filler and non canon anyway, meanwhile you cant say the same for Boruto since its claimed to be ‘all’ canon even if it diverts from the manga/novels, so when and if their not endgame after all the bullshit false hope they were bein fed its gonna be hard to argue why they shouldnt be outraged, after all it WAS all canon so what was the point of all that if the endings something totally different? thats what happens when you divert off course from the source material and do your own thing based on your own ‘interpretations’ that contradict it, when the ACTUAL OFFICIAL canon happens ppl are left confused wondering how this happened when all this other stuff happened that seemed to be leading to somethin else. 

Even though objectively, personal bias aside, I see nothing that says BoruSara and KawaSumi are endgame and see far more in favor of BoruSumi and KawaSara becoming canon in the end, even if not KawaSara BoruSumi is definitely endgame atp based on whats been setup and established so far, even though I dont see anything to suggest Bsa and Ksu endgame I can understand WHY others get the impression that they are, its very clear their being pandered to and to be fair its understandable to a degree why’d they fall for it. Be that as it may, anyone taking a moment to look at everything objectively and critically would quickly see all the flaws and holes in these ships potential canonicity, KawaSumi especially. 

But unfortunately much of this fandom functions on whatever the biggest names say is right, doesnt matter if their an official source or not, if your someone big like a big youtuber, a big twitter acc, or a biased anime studio, then their right and everything and everyone else is wrong, which unfortunately means when the opposite happens they wont be able to accept it and claim there was some sort of foul play 🤦‍♀️ I’ve seen this happen many times...its always the same.

So no, Im not downplaying the ship out of bias, I dont even ship BoruSumi nor like Sumire, Im just calling it how I literally witnessed it all go down in real time. This ship is a friggin joke yet because of all that mess Honda and everything else after that caused it now has ppl believing in something THEY made up.

If you dont believe it just look at the arguments, whenever ppl talk of KawaSara they mostly speak of manga content, adding on anime content is just a bonus but most of KawaSaras development HAPPENED in the manga, however whenever ppl talk of KawaSumi they ALWAYS bring up 190-191, the only thing from the manga they bring up is Kawaki allowing her to give him a needle and calling her by name instead of class rep and Sumire just literally doing her job...couldnt make this up if I tried. Thats because most of KawaSumi’s ‘development’ happened in the anime, their relationship in the manga has been stagnant, it went from him rejecting her giving him a needle to accepting it, thats it, and Sumire is no more or less concerned for Kawaki now than she was when she first appeared with him, their just stagnant, meanwhile Kawaki has made significant progress with just about everyone BUT her. 

Its crazy, but ppl will really insist that their the obvious endgame and KawaSara/BoruSumi fans are the ones who’s delusional. I both look forward and dread canon day because thats gonna be one hell of a shit storm I can already see it comin.

[haleigh-sloth]

i mean not to start shit but imo hori uses the side characters quite well given that hes writting a weekly battle shonen. im not saying hes The Best Author Ever or that this is the only way to write a story but since the story needs to end at some point hes focusing more on the main characters now. secundary characters will never be anything more than that. ppl should be thankful that we are even still seeing these characters bc hori could just forget them completely and not care

I mean it's really just a matter of opinion overall.

Some people are thrilled about the Shouji moments, others are complaining relentlessly because "it's boring".

Some of the complaints are from people who, from what I can tell in the things I see from them on twitter, only care about the manga when their faves are on screen, don't care what's even happening when they are, and complain any time the story makes us use our brains.

But "why is he suddenly relevant" is definitely a complaint I've had before lolol. Back when I was miserable reading this manga though, so it's not like that anymore.

But I see the thought process behind it. Why develop Shouji, someone who doesn't have an arc, and leave someone like Iida in the dust?

I used to think that way but I just....don't anymore.

I do genuinely think that Horikoshi has this problem where he hypes up certain characters for a brief moment that have very little relevance in the grand scheme of things, and I've seen it upset people. Suneater and Kirishima are big examples of this (granted the OH arc is not good in general). Momo is another one, as she's had some focus here and there in the early arcs, but she never contributed much to the overall story beyond just kinda being there. (that's how it feels to me at least)

So my point with that is that IF people are going to take issue with that, it kind of surprises me that they're...still surprised. Because this whiplash-y "character is important!" and then two chapters later "character is NOT important forget about them" routine is absolutely not new to this manga.

[golbrocklovely]

Unpopular opinion, i think fans are really mean towards Sam and there's not such a big reason behind it. He really wants to help people in his own way and just because his way of coming out with a piece of advice or a way to offer some kind of support is just different from Colby's, that doesn't make him less caring than Colby

Also, i don't understand why people hate on his dumb and wise newsletter or whatever u wanna call it because there aren't many influences who take their time to do something like that (i mean starting from scratch and managing to come out with something, cuz forwarding emails is easy afterwards) and also takes time to find things that might come in handy for fans who need that piece of advice. If Sam does this, even if it's a lot of Internet information and his side notes in that email, he did something good, tho unnecessary, a money grabbing brand. But if Colby comes on Snapchat and starts talking about life, he's a role model and he's so amazing and look how nicely he responds to questions and how nicely he speaks. Colby is way too overrated when doing the bare minimum any influencer should do, like staying in touch with fans and talking about mental health and anxiety and problems that don't go away by clapping ur hands. I appreciate a lot the fact that he talks about this stuff, don't get me wrong, especially because Sam and Colby are 2 of a small number of influences who address these important topics, but when they're both trying to answer their fan's questions or even talk about it how well they can, why try to make a difference between them? One might have a certain pov, while the other one has another pov and that should be alright. Any topic should be seen from more povs, it's not just colby who's right, it's not just sam who's right and u can't stay sam hasn't been through depressive episodes and bad anxiety. If he doesn't talk about these things is strictly his choice, but u can't say that he sounds cold and very objective when talking about stuff because "he didn't go through it"

This thing is literally like u and ur best friend giving the same answer in class but ur best friend gets the credit because "she's prettier"

Where i use u, I'm not talking about u 😂💜

this is so fucking long of a response to you. omg, i apparently have a lot of opinions lol

well, i can only speak on my behalf and say how i feel about the advice both boys give.

while i love the boys a lot, i do think sometimes their advice isn't as universal as they make it seem. i think that sometimes their lack of acknowledgement towards their own privilege makes it hard to want to listen to them. bc they give out advice and think that it will work for everyone listening, when that's just not the case. i do think over the years they gotten better at recognizing when their advice can help and where it can't, but they still struggle to realize that (especially for neurodivergent ppl) their advice doesn't go as deep as it could. or that in general, their advice isn't as prolific as they believe it to be.

like with metalife. one of the major problems i had with it is that a lot of their advice was basic or surface level. a lot of their philosophies weren't that deep. hell, most of the things they said on that site they said on the life project first, so they were just repeating themselves at that point. and while it's great that that worked for some ppl, i think it's also fine to admit that it doesn't work for most fans, especially those dealing with deeper issues. but that's okay. i don't expect snc to have the answers to my mental health issues. they aren't professionals. but i think another major problem was just the fact that anytime they gave advice, it was hard to listen to it knowing that they haven't lived a 10th of the life i have. i don't wish for them to struggle like i have, but when they are miles above me in every which way, it's hard to listen.

as for the split between sam and colby, again, i think it has a lot to do with how they sound. and while sam is genuinely trying to help, i do think that sometimes his words don't quite hit the mark. i think sam has a tendency to just repeat what other ppl say just bc that advice worked for him. which is fine, bc realistically none of us have original thoughts anymore lol, but if the advice was barely advice in the first place…. repeating it and putting your own spin on it lessen it's value.

i think there is also this out of touch attitude that sam can get that colby for the most part doesn't have. like, when sam wrote about not living for your vacations in the dumb and wise email….. like, bro, in this economy? you're telling ppl not to live for vacations, as if they can even get one in the first place?????? you just sound out of touch. i get what he was going for, but there are better ways to have said it. and he makes himself more out of touch by looking up to musk and bezos. i get it, you're a business man. but there is no ethical way to make billions of dollars. and then to keep it all??? even worse. and to top all of that off, he never apologizes for upsetting fans. he'll just ignore things until ppl forget or stop talking about it altogether. and while i get that for some situations, doing it all the time doesn't work. it makes it sound like he doesn't want to listen to fans.

also, i just gotta add this in bc i just remembered it, he has this vibe/attitude/whatever of "feel less, work more". he's surrounds himself in so much business but does little to no introspective work. he doesn't allow himself to feel, and would rather be busy all the time. but that doesn't work for anyone, let alone him. and i think that if he would allow himself to either work thru his emotions or just…. feel for once, he might be able to give good advice.

and while i say all of this, i still genuinely love sam. i can love him and still be annoyed at him tho. both things can be true. bc on a basic level, i feel like he does try his best to give the advice he thinks will work, but it comes across a bit pretentious bc he doesn't recognize his own privilege. and his dumb and wise emails, if i even read them in the first place, i just kinda shrug off and go about my day. sometimes i read them and think "oh that's good advice" but for the most part, i don't pay attention to them.

and as for colby, i think (and i know, at least, i feel this way) a lot of ppl relate to him more than they do sam. maybe it's bc sam is extremely closed off so we don't know as much about him as we do colby. maybe for some ppl (even tho they'll never admit it) they just generally find colby more attractive than sam and thus are more likely to listen to him. who knows, who cares. for me, colby comes in with advice that at least shows hesitancy. he outright refuses to answer questions about mental health problems, and tells those that need help to seek professionals. i don't think i've ever heard sam do that. maybe he just ignores those questions and instead goes for ones he thinks he can answers, maybe i just don't remember him doing what colby does. either way, colby tells does that, and then any of the advice he does gives, he follows it up by saying "this may not work for you, but this is what worked for me" and that alone puts him above sam in my book for giving advice.

that hesitancy shows a more realistic side to him than sam. sam comes in with a certain tone that's just very matter-of-factly, that there's no way he's wrong. colby, bc he's cautious about what he says or at least understands that his words may not help, shows that he acknowledges what he saying. he's not just regurgitating something someone else said in a book he read.

and i think as much as colby claims to be private or closed off, he tells a lot more than he shows. i don't think he realizes how much stuff he's actually told fans, and just that bit of vulnerability helps to make a connection. that's why i believe he probably does struggle with depression and, at the very least, anxiety. he's shown us what he's like after being super anxious all day. he's told us the stories of needing to take tums everyday at school. and as for the depression, which i know is just an assumption on my part, there are things he has said in the past (like not being able to leave his couch for weeks on end, like feeling like he was on autopilot, like isolating himself from ppl when he's feeling bad) that makes me believe he has struggled with depression without realizing it bc those are things i went thru as well. and that, i think, helps fans connect with him more. if sam struggles the same way colby does, we wouldn't know bc he doesn't tell us. and i get that he has every right to his privacy and that he doesn't have to tell us that information. but bc colby has, with or without his own knowledge, means ppl connect with him more and want to listen to his advice.

all of this being said, if you don't agree with me, totally fine. you might relate to what sam says more. that's great. if his advice works for you, please listen to it and use it. i'm just saying it doesn't work that way for me, but that's okay. i don't look at sam as less than bc of it. i still love sam. he's just a bit annoying sometimes lol

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

[tuiyla]

I feel like ppl tend to gloss over the UHT convo w the glee girls right before Come See About Me in 4x08 - like Quinn is literally saying that the three of them knew each other so well, they could communicate perfectly without saying a single word. Not just her and Santana, not just Santana and Brittany, but all three of them. Ignoring how Glee almost completely erased Quinn's relationship to Brittana s5 and beyond, those three are family 🤧

Right?

Like, okay, let me go on a bit of a rant Anon if you don't mind. So a common gripe with the UHT is something that can really be applied to all of Glee: they love to tell you something's a certain way and in fact take credit for it, but don't put the actual work in. Case in point, yeah, the New Directions are a found family, but you'd be hard pressed to find scenes that truly build on that and especially for certain dynamics that don't include the core mains of Rachel/Finn/later Kurt.

But you know, I'm willing to take what I often feel like is a singling out of the UHT in good faith. For two reasons: one, they're a pre-established group that existed before ND and should have been shown to be close more. And two, Glee loooved capitalizing on the Unholy Trinity even in subtle ways. They couldn't be bothered to put the work in but coopted the fan-coined name UHT and in later seasons slapped them together to perform a fan-service number. Except they couldn't do fanservice in a way that was more than a male-gazey, "look we know they're iconic" lazy-feeling scene. Hence why we have both Toxic and Problem in seasons 5 and 6 but no actual convo scene between them save for the brief pre-Problem one.

So I get the dissonance. On the one hand, the UHT is so recognizable and iconic. From I Say a Little Prayer on, they're the Cheerios and as even Brittany and Santana develop into their own characters, they all get a substantial fanbase of their own. On the other, we have very few scenes of the three and just the three being friends. The only two UHT scenes I'd consider to be the kind of thing we desperately needed more of are New York 2x22 and the one I recently analyzed in 3x01. Other than that, good luck finding anything more substantial than a background scene or quick "see we know you like them ones" like "ending together" in Nationals.

But, and here's why I start getting baffled at people singling them out as bad writing or a bad friendship. A) it's a general problem Glee has and it's really us the fans who put work into 80% of the friendships because hardly any of them were treated right. So, like I've said before when I got asks about this, I feel it's unfair when people HC Mike or Sam or whoever to be besties with everyone but when it's the canon trio of the UHT they go "idk we never really saw them being friends". Being told, like in your example of how well they knew each other, is more than the nothing that we get a lot of others. And B), something's fishy about recognizing and acknowledging the writing problems Glee had and yet not extending the same grace (afforded to many other characters) to the UHT. People bring up season 1 and how Brittana didn't help Quinn; right, except we can recognize that Brittana were barely characters, that even Quinn herself hardly got the focus during her own pregnancy, and that Glee not only hates girls but female friendships.

And C), there are scenes where they're shown to be friends. Granted, they're often small and like I said not substantial but they're there. To substantiate what Quinn says in 4x08, we have them dancing together in 2x22 during Light Up the World. For Brittany and Quinn we have everything from Lean On Me to 2x11 to 3x17. For Quinntana, @amazonworrier just had an excellent post about this that I wholeheartedly agree with. All these scenes do in fact exist for a reason, even if the writers couldn't be bothered to flesh out the UHT. And I mean really there are so many scenes of the three sticking together throughout the seasons that it'd feel unnecessary to list them all here but amazonworrier's point about Quinntana scenes goes for those too. They exist; that's more than nothing. That's more than most ND combos have.

And like, here's the thing. You can lament the lack of substantial scenes as I do - as does every single fan of their dynamic. But if it's show don't tell you're looking for, Glee did show them. It wasn't much, not nearly enough for me, but it was there. So after a while it's like?? So what do you want? Do you purposefully ignore the moments they do have as a friendship trio because it's not enough, but then it's also not enough to be explicitly told they're good friends? Is there just no winning? But then there shouldn't be winning for 80% of Glee friendships we still hold them close to our hearts.

This really is just a rant at this point but I'm reminded of anons I got about how the UHT not being really friends was a correct hot take and it's,,, it's just not. It's canon, it's in the text. You might not like it, like me you might have wanted more, but it's there. And to recognize Glee's bad writing practices but then single out the UHT as a bad friendship instead of seeing the bigger picture is not where it's at. And to go back to your original point Anon after this ranty rant, people do gloss over Quinn saying that. And what for? They know each other well and they are a family. And to be clear I refuse to give Glee credit for the scenes that do show them be friends because they could have done, so, so much more, but it was enough to call them friends.

[violentviolette]

how does aspd affect your friendships?

in a lot of ways lmfaoo mostly it affects how I structure all my relationships. I do that very consciously, because I dont really care about people naturally, so ive come up with a system that works for me where I make very conscious decisions about who I'm choosing to care about, what that means and looks like, and then going from there

I do not like most people by default and I'm extreamly picky about what kinds of personalities I enjoy. and even with people I like, caring about them does not come naturally except in very rare and specific circumstances. so if I do end up really liking someone and wanting to keep them in my life, I make a very conscious effort to do so

99% of my connections are casual ones. I consider most people I know to be "casual friends" which means that I like them well enough to be kind and considerate to them and I choose to spend time with them sometimes, but I also dont go out of my way to involve myself with them or their lives. I dont really care about them beyond a surface level. I'd say most prosocial ppl would call these "acquaintances"

for my deeper connections, I genuinely can only maintain a very small circle of these, right now its at about 5 people and ive found thats a really comfy number for me. those I make a very conscious decision to have and I put in a lot of work and effort to maintain them.

I had to learn how to have healthy relationships, like genuinely get taught "what goes into making a friendship, what does caring about someone mean, what actions can and can't I do, ect" and so I have like, an internal set of rules/guidlines that I follow to maintain these connections and keep them healthy

I also do not mask around my actual friends and this is very important. the people closest to me know I have aspd and they accept me for it. they understand how I speak and how I act and we talk a lot about my feelings (and theirs) and I am upfront and honest with people about what I am capable of and what I'm not. I dont bother getting close to ppl I can't be authentic around

but this is important because I think a lot of people have no idea what masking is and think "not being an asshole to people u have chosen to care about" is masking when its really not. being mean is an active choice. masking is performing emotions u do not feel and performing *unneccessary* behaviors that dont come naturally or even actively distress u for the sake of appearing nuerotypical. things like making eye contact, smiling, reacting to things with lots of emotion, pretending to be emotionally affected by things ect. I do not do that at all around my friends. but performing *necessary* actions like treating ur friends with compassion, listening to their feelings and taking them seriously, respecting peoples boundaries and agency, ect. are NOT masking. those are the necessary actions required to have healthy connections with others

if I have decided that someone is my friend then that means I have chosen to treat them properly and care for them in order to keep them in my life. thats not masking. relationships are like a plant. if I buy a plant and then never water it, I can't be mad or surprised when it dies. likewise, friendships need certain things to survive, and if I'm not there for people when they need, if I lie, if I'm mean to them, if I manipulate them, if I dont care about their problems, then that friendship will wither and die and it will have been my fault because I knowingly did not care for it

thats kind of the basics for me? aspd affects my relationships a lot, but ive found that once I started being honest with myself and realizing what I was looking for in other ppl and what Im capable of as well as what goes into maintaining healthy bonds, it got a lot easier. I have very little trouble with my friendships at this point in my life and the people close to me are ones I genuinely and deeply care about

[plan-d-to-i]

what’s funny is that when ppl like to claim that lwj only exists to serve as a romantic interest to wwx and has no purpose/personality on his own and cql made it better bc that whole becoming chief cultivator bs gave him an actual purpose (even though they perpetuated the whole pining for 13/16 years to begin with) when canonically the person who actually was pathetic and obsessed over wwx returning was…jc

Can't relate. Where the hell does someone even come up with that conclusion? But what am I saying they're out there saying Lan Wangji was taking jobs away from cultivators by going where the chaos was and helping the people NO ONE ELSE BOTHERED TO HELP bc there was no glory in it...

They think if someone is introverted and not airing out their shit and dumping their mess on everyone around them that means they don't have a personality 🙃. Being toxic =/= personality.

Wei Wuxian didn't just fall for LWJ because he thought LWJ was the most beautiful person he ever saw. He fell for him because he was a great person. Because he was talented, and intelligent, and honorable. Because he stood by his principles and got punished alongside WWX :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes again and was silent.

Wei Wuxian spoke once more. “I’m telling the truth. I’ve never seen anyone as upright as you, who says something and means it like you do. I definitely couldn’t act like that. You’re amazing.”

WWX makes fun of himself here, but he's exactly the same. he also stands by his principles at great cost to himself. He's ready to give up his hand to protect YunmengJiang. He gives jc his core bc he owed JFM and promised him and YZY he would take care of jc. He takes on the burden of helping the Wens entirely on his shoulders. LWJ is also incredibly intelligent and perceptive. He figures out what's going on at Biling Lake. He notices the leaves in the water in the Xuanwu cave and figures out it must communicate with the outside. Wei Wuxian appreciates his knowledge:

Sitting beside the desk, Wei WuXian pondered, “If it’s not a problem with the incense, then it has to be a problem with the incense burner. What a thing. It feels so real even Empathy might not compare to it. Was it ever recorded in the Library Pavilion?”

Lan WangJi shook his head.

If he shook his head, that meant it was certain nobody had ever recorded it. Wei WuXian, “Oh, well. Its potency has already passed. We should store it properly for now so that other people don’t come into contact with it by accident.

as well as his opinions:

I guess a lot of people believe the murder of the remaining Changs were Xiao Xingchen’s revenge, right? Hanguang Jun, what about you? What do you think?”

Lan Wangji shook his head slowly. “Without the complete picture, I cannot comment.”

Wei Wuxian deeply admired his friend’s attitude, his principles and his way of handling affairs. Beaming, he drank another mouthful of liquor.

Lan Wangji saves AYuan and raises him! jc didn't give a fuck about the toddler he had seen with his own eyes sheltering in the Burial Mounds. WangXian are lovingly, carefully crafted, and perfectly matched. jiang cheng is never anything more than a foil to them. His defining characteristic is his stagnation. The way he's dug down into his ignorance, anger, hatred, and desire for power- so he can beat others, not so he can protect those who can't protect themselves. Meanwhile In cql "LWJ" dumps WWX to be chief cultivator... how does this do anything other than destroy his character... and I like (looking at) XZ and WY but, let's not get ahead of ourselves there's nothing about the story that cql improved...

[astrolology]

The Love-Hate Relationship with Stelliums (Pt. 1) ✨

Guysss pls remember that astrology is holistic and this should be read taking into account your overall chart placements, as well as the planets in your stellium and what sign rules your stellium. TAKE NOTE lol

1st house

❤️: You may be a person who is very driven towards a particular goal, single-minded in behavior and with a sense of determination that is hard to beat. The focus is on self-improvement and is rather internally driven - there can be large amounts of time focused on figuring one’s identity out. You’re not afraid to say things as they are - you’re able to dish out criticism hard but you give credit when its due. You extend the courtesy you receive to others. You may have an innate sense of wisdom that you keep deep within that you don’t let slip unless to extremely close ones but in times of hardship you are a good source of motivation. You always seek to improve yourself and it’s hard (if not impossible) to drag you down because of your strong personality and how you tend to always move on no matter what. I think 1st house stelliums are the embodiment of “don’t look back” and y’all always try to make the best out of every best situation, sort of like seeing the silver lining in everything. And also when crises emerge you’re able to keep a calm head on your shoulders and are good at making snap decisions, which makes you good on your feet!

👹: I don’t think y’all are as self-absorbed as ppl make you out to be but there’s definitely an element of self-centredness such that when you do something, you often consider what is most convenient or productive for you. You might get upset when your plans are disrupted but sometimes do the same to others even though you might be aware of what you’re doing - in that aspect, 1st house stelliums can be hypocritical. For you, there is never enough - you’re never satisfied with anything, be it yourself or for other things so you can seem really unappreciative. Keep in mind that you also tend to force others to agree with you and don’t be so quick to dismiss the other party’s POV no matter how dumb it seems. Remember that there’s always something to learn from other people, no matter their status. You need to work on expressing your appreciation to others in a more genuine manner (altho I know y’all do it in gruff, slightly awkward ways when sincere - kinda cute ngl).

2nd house

❤️: You may be a person who has a strong moral code and has a staunch value system that you won’t deviate from no matter what. Sense of loyalty is usually unbreakable and it can take a lot to truly anger you. You can have a good financial sense and good instincts/foresight that allow you to plan ahead for stability’s sake. More often than not in certain areas you are a master of categorising and structuring things which means that your mind is analytical, critical and (usually) organised. You hate it when people think they know you because you (understandably) know yourself the best - there are many privatised layers of yourself that you prefer to keep... private so yeah it just annoys you when that happens. Y’all are a leader in certain aspects of your life and even though 2nd house stelliums tend to prefer being the right-hand man, your control freak tendencies come out and you end up leading anyway. You become really productive because of the fear of failure - you have crazy high expectations for yourself and expect the same of your closed ones (although ultimately you’ll support them in whatever they do). There is an appreciation for the finer things in life and when it comes to your loved ones you’re not afraid to spoil them hard. 

👹: Be careful not to let this driving need for stability restrict you from spontaneity and following your heart’s desire. There is an inherent inflexibility in your nature; stubbornness can really be your kryptonite. You don’t really take any opportunities that you think might threaten your security which, while giving you a stable fort, can hold you back in your own happiness + prosperity. You might realise that there is a limit to your perspective but really struggle in seeing outside of that perspective mainly because you spend so much time thinking about what matters to you that you’ve become accustomed to your train of thought (altho when you do break it it’s lowkey groundbreaking). The focus on this house is on stability, not only on material wealth, so while you may be reaping in one aspect you might tend to lack on the spiritual or emotional elements of life. You can be very, very controlling and demanding so you might want to tone it down a little if not people might get the wrong impression. People might think of you as judgemental (and you are tbh) but I believe it’s just 2nd house stellium’s way of assessing a person’s character/abilities. 

3rd house

❤️: You may be a person who puts in a lot of effort into various forms of self-expression (not limited to verbal communication but also finding a specific niche such as music, art, writing etc.) Your brain is naturally sharp and inquisitive and you may be able to pick things up very quickly. You might be rather adaptable but are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to your opinion or intellectual capabilities. You might have a dark/dirty sense of humor and because of that you also have a keen ability to see past the societal nuances of propriety and get to the heart/root of whatever a person is saying. You can spend your entire life trying to understand people and why things work the way they work - your brain needs to be stimulated in order for you to feel alive. Passion for you has to be applied in a productive manner - you probably aren’t a person to just take a passion for something as a mere hobby. Rather, you would either apply that passion to one of your existing projects, create a new one or use it as a motivating factor. Your interests are wide and varied, which makes you really well-rounded in certain aspects! 

👹: Many people say y’all are flighty beings and I can certainly see why they would think so. Because of your perceptiveness, you tend to change your narrative whenever you’re speaking to different people, so as to make yourself sound more convincing. In that aspect, you can be quite manipulative. Your ego probably isn’t the smallest either haha - you can tolerate being slighted at some things but if it’s a challenge to one of your passion projects you’ll probably become very upset. You need to stop giving people the hot and cold shoulder all the time and even though you’re quite sociable you tend to flaunt but hide your true thoughts. You have to be more open and honest in your self-expression, and not that idealised, constructed version of yourself you think people will find interesting. I’ve noticed that 3rd house stellium ppl have an obsessive need to “stand out” and make themselves feel unique which, despite all your charms and popularity, might be the reason why you find yourself sometimes so isolated. You’re a perfectionist (although you would deny it) and secretly quite controlling but unlike other stelliums you can manage it better I feel. 

4th house

❤️: There is a pressing insistence regarding relationships in your inner circle - be it your family, closest friends, or your future family. Extended focus on your cultural heritage can also be possible. Deep down, compassion is at your core and you are very protective of your friends in a silent but aggressive way. Having a stable family life is very important to you but I’ve noticed that more often than not, 4th house stelliums have turbulent family relationships. The beauty of 4th house stelliums is their ability to break through whatever toxic relationships they’ve been in and to create families of their own - be it unconventional or not. They are the epitome of “we choose our own families”. Y’all can be very empathetic and rather selfless to the point where you allow yourself to be manipulated (even though you’re aware of it) - but it’s usually for a justifiable reason. You find it easier than most to balance the emotional landscape but there are moments where you need an outlet to express yourself. There can be an obsession/possessiveness over your own culture - you take pride in your roots and become lowkey insulted when people disrespect it (and if you don’t, you somehow nearly always manage to find some other culture to assimilate yourself in). 

👹: Y’all probably get very upset when things don’t go your way but the problem with this stellium is that there is a want to speak out but you choose to bury everything inside instead - giving you a very passive-aggressive and even aloof image. Internally, you guys might think that you are giving off a very soft/giving aura but some people are wary precisely because you are hard to read. You are very, intensely private (rivalling 2nd/7th house tbh) and you have to learn how to share your true thoughts, no bullshit, no suger-coated thoughts with your family and dearest friends even though you are capable of handling yourself. You are independent, ambitious, and people often underestimate you, but you have to let people in first in order for them to know what you’re capable of! Also, idealisation of certain things (eg. a future family life/partner) can be prevalent and you overthink things to the point where sometimes you make yourself miserable. Again, please talk to someone hahaha you don’t have to deal with everything yourself. 

5th house

❤️:  Insecurity runs rampant in any 5th house stellium BUT y’all are quite paradoxical in a sense that you also have a very strong aura of confidence. Sometimes, in crucial moments, you manage to convince yourself and others that you are the most important person in the room haha - literally the epitome of “fake it till you make it”. Still, a deeply rooted kindness is found in 5th house stelliums such that you’re always looking out for the underdog in the room. If you are developed you probably have a strong sense of righteousness which prompts you to look out for people who might be struggling. Y’all are very concerned about your physical appearance and most of the time you like to keep your body in good shape, which draws the attention of people in the room. You likely have an infectious smile (this is just a hunch but I don’t believe 5th house stelliums smile a lot - y’all quirk your lips or smirk but a true smile is rare so when you do... it melts the hearts of people). Everything that you do will have a youthful flavor and you have a healthy appreciation for downtime/self-care so while you might not (contrary to popular belief) be that fond of kids, kids are attracted to you. Oh and actually I think the stronger this stellium is in a person, the shyer the person seems at first impression but inwardly and as time goes by, they become more humorous and dramatic. 

👹: You aren’t exactly manipulative, but you know how to use the power of suggestion (and your charms) to get what you want. If unchecked, it’ll become a habit because to you, it’s an instinctive thing to do and you might not realise you’re hurting other people because of it. You are stubborn and prideful (which isn’t a bad thing sometimes but) you take criticism quite badly such that if a person tries to offer their opinion or goes against your beliefs, you might take it as a personal attack. You have a fear of being restrained/constricted (like 9th house) so you’re actually quite aggressive to those who you perceive to be a threat to your authority. You can also experience extreme mood swings (from crazy happy/hyper to melancholic in a snap) and when you do you expect people to give you attention. But you are hypocritical in this aspect because you yourself can be quite insensitive to other people’s feelings, or you brush them off if you’re not “in the mood”. 

6th house

❤️: You are most probably quite an organised person, not in a tidy way (although you could be) but in matters of life there’s an insistence on order and structure. The way you think can be very logical - you are able to think concisely and connect the dots in a quick manner and logic is probably prevalent in everything you do. However, in contrast to this pragmatic behavior, you are deeply caring and you won’t think twice to give up something if a loved one needs it. You are very disciplined in certain aspects of life and you are able to maintain a consistent effort in everything that you do. You’re probably someone who finds joy in small things and although you have high standards, it doesn’t take much to make you happy, as long as it’s genuine. You can be a perfectionist and really quite meticulous in your work which makes you someone who is detail-orientated. You give a lot of yourself to other people and most of the time you don’t expect anything in return, which is one of the great things about 6th house stelliums. You take effort into maintaining your physical health and you mighttt be a fitness freak or someone who keeps track of their diet really carefully. It’s likely that you encourage other people to follow your lifestyle and generally, you exert a sort of mellow influence around other people that makes them want to be better. 

👹: There’s a tendency for 6th house stelliums to fall into pessimism, precisely because of your pragmatic nature. Y’all may say that you’re being “realistic” but in actuality it does dampen the spirits of some people. You can also become really unreasonable and inflexible once you’ve made up your mind on something and that makes you a bit narrow minded because you simply refuse to listen to other people’s POV. This can also cause tunnel vision which can really limit your full potential and I think it’s something worth spending your time working on. When pushed into a corner or feeling insecure, y’all might try to cover it up by being condescending or giving the cold shoulder. There’s also a risk of being overly reliant on a schedule/structure and hence, cautiousness when it comes to being spontaneous or embracing something foreign. Because of your affinity towards maintaining health, your hypochondriac tendencies may be exacerbated and you need to try to lessen your over-worrying behaviour haha. Although you never dish out something you can’t receive (eg. high expectations - you’re truly your worst critic), your demanding tone can really make others cautious of you.

OVERALL, I strongly believe that the way to embrace your stelliums isn’t to reject or force yourself to change the values they represent, but rather taking those eccentricities and moulding it into something more precious and beneficial to yourself. It has to be done with a thorough understanding of yourself; with patience. 

-C

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwyn x Nesta

This is not as edited as my other fics but I was just too excited to post. I would like to comment that I pretty much think every character is bisexual unless stated otherwise lol. I also recognize this piece could come off problematic (ppl thinking this is fetishization) I personally don’t think it is, but I welcome constructive criticism. I am bisexual and a SA survivor so I felt comfortable writing about those topics considering I have personal experience with both.

Thank you for the idea: @mercurianbisous @genya-berdara

“Hey Nes.”

Nesta jumped from her spot on the couch, closing her book as she did so. A small smile graced her face as she realized Gwyn was standing at the entry of the House of Wind library.

“Hey Gwyn, you scared the shit out of me.” Nesta chuckled as she put her book away. She patted the spot next to her, beckoning for Gwyn to join her. Gwyn knew she looked awkward standing there, twisting her fingers. Gwyn hesitantly took the spot.

“I have a favor to ask.” Gwyn managed to spit out. She needed to start somewhere and knew that Nesta would never judge her for what she was about to ask. She might turn her down, but she would never laugh.

Nesta simply raised a singular eyebrow at Gwyn. She leant back on the couch and flourished her hand as if to tell Gwyn to continue.

“I am only asking you because I know you are not interested in women, which is precisely why I cannot ask Emerie-“

“You are interested in Emerie?” Nesta asked nonchalantly. Gwyn felt relief at the lack of judgement, but annoyed at the interruption. She needed to get this out now or she never would.

“No. Listen to everything before you answer.” Nesta gave a shrug which Gwyn took as her agreement.

“I want to practice kissing, but there are no males that I trust enough to ask and I cannot ask females from the library. I figure if I practice enough it will not be so anxiety inducing for me. With everything that happened to me, I think it might be easier to start kissing females and work my way up to males. I think once I can kiss a male then I will know my trauma does not have that power over me and this is my really convoluted way of asking you to kiss me.” She snapped her mouth shut the second she finished rambling. She searched Nesta’s face for any emotion that might give away how she feels about the matter.

“ I did not think you fancied women.” Nesta said plainly.

“I suppose I have not paid much attention to any romance. But I would say I value the person over body parts.” Gwyn shrugged but her face was bright red from embarrassment.

“Okay, lay one on me.”

She gave a startled look to her friend, who was handling this much better than Gwyn was. The ease with which she accepted this made Gwyn inherently suspicious.

“Do you fancy women?” She looked at Nesta through narrowed eyes.

“Not particularly. But I love you Gwyn, and Cass won’t mind especially if it is to help you.” A very rare, coveted soft look blessed Nesta’s face. Gwyn found herself wanting to cry. She had not felt this type of companionship in years.

“I do not want you to feel obligated as my friend. I understand if you want to say no.”

“Do I appear as someone that feels obligated often?” Nesta asked with raised eyebrows. It made Gwyn giggle a little. Nesta grabbed Gwyn’s hand, forcing her to look at Nesta.

“Lay one on me, love.” Nesta’s face was beautiful as she smiled. It made Gwyn start to feel a little nervous. They were really doing this.

“I am going to start with my eyes open. It is easier to remind myself who I am kissing.”

“Okay.” Again, a soft smile graced her face as she used a soft voice. Normally Gwyn hated pity, but she appreciated Nesta being sensitive to the situation.

Even though her heart was beating out of her chest, she set her hands on Nesta’s shoulders and focused in on her lips. They were a standard set of lips. Medium sized, and smooth. Gwyn took one last deep breathe and shoved her lips against Nesta’s. They both could admit the kiss was awkward at best. Gwyn would take awkward over horrific any day though. She kept her eyes wide open while Nesta’s were closed. One may not even call it a kiss, really just two pairs of lips not touching. Neither of them moved a muscle. Gwyn realized it was because Nesta was letting Gwyn have complete control over the situation and that made her smile through the kiss. Once Gwyn was certain that no unwanted memories were waiting to overwhelm her, she puckered her lips and actually kissed her before pulling away.

“How was that?” Nesta asked.

“Terrifying.” Gwyn said with a grin. “Let’s try again.” She gave a sheepish look after a moments thought. “If that is fine with you?”

Nesta rolled her eyes before closing them and comically puckering her lips. Gwyn once again giggled before going in for a second kiss. Once again she started with her eyes open, but once her heart calmed down and she stopped worrying about the past, she closed her eyes. There was something comforting about kissing Nesta, it was not attraction or chemistry. Perhaps, love though. An intimate expression of platonic love that squeezed at Gwyn’s heart. It was easy to ignore the past when the scent of Nesta and books were so overwhelmingly comforting to Gwyn. When the feel of Nesta’s hands were so familiar. Or when her even breathes were so recognizable. Gwyn knew there was not a safer spot in the world than right by Nesta’s side. Gwyn decided to be bold and flick Nesta’s bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. It caused Nesta to squeak and open her eyes for a second before settling back into the kiss. Slowly, they both started deepening the kiss. A swipe of a tongue here, a turn of the head there. It was a nice kiss, mostly exploratory. Simply, Gwyn discovering her boundaries, deciding what might be too much. Gwyn lifted her hands to grip Nesta’s face, so that the kiss might be less awkward. Nesta kept her hands in her lap which Gwyn was grateful for.

The doors to the library burst open with an exuberant Cassian. Gwyn all but threw herself against the opposite side of the couch.

“Nes, I was thinking for tonight-“ he stopped abruptly at the sight he just walked in on. Gwyn thought his brain might be malfunctioning from system overload based on the expression on his face.

Gwyn suddenly felt very guilty. This must have looked much worse than it actually was to him. Gwyn briefly glanced at Nesta. While Gwyn was stiffly sitting on the sofa, Nesta was nonchalantly leaning against the arm of the chair from her spot. A small smirk rested on her lips. Cassian’s head had been comically bouncing back and forth from Nesta and Gwyn before resting on the latter.

“Are you trying to steal my mate?” He was trying to muffle a laugh and failing. Gwyn hid her face behind her hands as it flamed a brighter red.

“This is not what it looks like!” Gwyn muttered into her hands. Cassian sauntered right over to the couch and plopped himself between the girls.

“Do explain.” He nudged Gwyn with a smile on his face. She was glad he was not angry, but the last thing she wanted to do was explain. She looked to Nesta for help who ended up sighing very loudly.

“I was helping Gwyn with some intimacy problems.” Was all she gave as a response. Cassian dropped the smile and looked at Nesta with such a serious look that Gwyn wondered if she misinterpreted Cassian’s emotions. Maybe he was mad after all.

“Is Gwyn a better kisser than me?” He said it so seriously that all Gwyn could do was groan. Nesta giggled, which did not happen often, so Gwyn knew Nes was highly amused by the situation while Gwyn was mortified.

“Gwyn is the best kisser.” Nesta said earnestly.

Gwyn rolled her eyes as that as she continued to try and press herself as far into the couch as she possibly could. Cassian’s wings were still almost touching her and all she wanted was to disappear from this mortifying situation forever.

“Damn, now I want one. What do I have to do to get a Gwyn kiss?”

The teasing was too much for Gwyn to bare.

“Stooooop.” Gwyn whined as the mated couple tried to mask their laughter.

“Please, Gwyn?” He even puckered his lips at her. She knew he was joking, but she wanted it to stop and knew exactly how to get him to stop. Besides, this is the next level up on the intimacy scale for Gwyn with Cassian being a male and all. She quickly pressed her lips against his and pulled away just as fast.

A second later she realized how impulsive it was. She began forming an apology to both of them when she noticed they were both smiling genuinely. Gwyn rested her hands on her burning cheeks and looked away.

“I agree, Nes. She is the best.” Cassian replied as he threw both arms around the females shoulders.

“You two are the worst.” Gwyn whined as she realized they had teamed up against her to get her to kiss Cassian.

“I think this is means for celebration Gwyn.” Nesta ignored her complaints and continued smiling. “You kissed two people today and one was a male. Big accomplishments.” Gwyn huffed but could not stop the small smile that spread her lips.

“That is good.” Gwyn relented. Secretly she was glad that neither of them were upset.

“Before you know it, you will have made out with the entire night court inner circle.” Cassian joked. “I bet you could even manage to steal a kiss from Azriel’s shadows.”

“Well, they do like me.”

“Everyone likes you Gwyn. You are awesome.” Nesta held Cassian’s hand as they all sat on the couch.

Gwyn felt a punch to a stomach as she looked at their hands. It was longing, she discovered. She wanted to sit on a couch holding someone’s hand. She wanted to be so comfortable with a person that every move they made was in sync like Nes and Cass seemed. She sighed. One day she would get her happily ever after. There really was no rush.

[marshmellowtea]

hey, sorry, i did read ur bio but im..... unclear what u mean specifically by "anti anti" and "pro ship/pro fiction"? sorry, the terms get thrown around a lot and its made me unclear what ppl mean when they use them since its used in such drastically different contexts. sorry to bother

it's alright, you're not bothering me. i was honestly kind of expecting an ask like this after making that post. i hope, anon, before you respond (if you respond) you hear me out for the whole post.

i'm gonna put this under a cut since i rambled, sorry. warning for some discussion of abuse

first off, i wanna say that while writing this response feels very weird and kind of nerve-wracking, this isn't information i've been trying to hide. i, perhaps foolishly, tend to assume that people who follow me have at least read my bio, even if they choose not to read my about page, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that this is just......not the case? and it's becoming a bit frustrating to inevitably receive backlash from people following me about views i've been open about having from the get-go, hence the vent post. sorry about that, though, there's better ways of handling that frustration, i know.

secondly, i'm pro ship as in......pro ship. all ships, no matter how tasteless, controversial, or disgusting i or anyone else might find them. i'm pro fiction in the same sense, but just in regards to fiction as a whole, both in and out of fandom. while i never fully identified as an anti, i definitely used to have views closer to that mindset, and i can confidently say that they have caused me a lot of harm in the long run. also, while i fully take accountability for the things i've said during those years, i also feel like in some sense i was enabled to be cruel to others while i was a part of that group. never full on hate campaigns, sure, but i've definitely said some nasty stuff to people, and i regret ever doing it, and i especially feel regret for ever feeling justified in doing it. it also bothers me that there were other anti-minded people in my circles who encouraged me, even, and assured me i was doing the right thing when i fucking wasn't.

while i don't think i can explain all of my reasons for my beliefs in this post alone—that would make this thing way longer than it already is—i want to mention that i don't disagree with the notion that fiction can have an affect on our reality, i just think it's more nuanced than a one-to-one correlation of "reading about [thing]=think [thing] is now good", and i also think since fandom is, well, fandom, people tend to overexaggerate its influence on people. if you've ever read a fic or watched a tv show and thought that they handled a certain subject poorly, or recognized that a certain trope they used was bigoted, or anything of that sort, then, well, congrats! you know exactly what i mean. fiction can certainly influence people's views, but i think it's more of a lack of education (sex education, education on the lived experiences of minorities, etc) that's the problem, rather than the fiction on its own.

i also HEAVILY dislike this notion that fiction causes or enables people to abuse—in the case of the former, that's taking responsibility from the abuser because it implies that fiction "made" them do it when it was really their choice to be cruel, and in the case of the latter, i really think it's the aforementioned lack of education and the lack of systems we have in place to support victims/challenge authority that's more of an issue. sure, fiction can absolutely be used to groom people for abuse, but so can candy, or sports, or money, or one on one time, a whole bunch of things are all potential tools and unfortunately, we can't ban everything that could potentially be used to harm someone. and besides, that's overlooking that properly tagged fic (i'm. very pro content warnings in addition to being anti censorship just to be clear) can actually help people realize they're being abused when they see their situations being reflected on the page in front of them that's clearly labeled as abuse.

those aren't my only reasons of course, but this is getting long already, so thank you for sticking with me if you've gotten to the end. if you're uncomfortable with me because of this, i understand, i just ask that you either quietly unfollow or block me, because i'm not afraid to report people for harassment. if you have any good-faith follow up questions, i'm free to answer those as well, i really don't mind.

[tofindloveinpoison]

Iconic Fanfictions ive read two years ago and what I currently remember of them:

I will premise this by saying that these fanfics were famous only in certain specific niches of the internet, and that when i say that a work is badly written or i critique it in anyway it?s just my opinion from what i vaguely remember, whihch might not be correct. 

Fanfics below the cut: filthy lucre, asotm, twist and shout, the hat and lung fics, anatomy of a fall, throam, unholyverse. feelfree to add what you remember of “famous fanfics” you’ve read.

tw for mentions of: sexual assault, violence, animal abuse, pedophilia and some other upsetting topics. 

The Milk Fic

Oh my God this was bad but not nearly as extreme as other fics. An iconic and shocking read i do not recommend, but if you really want to read it it will not ruin your life, your month at most. 

From what i remember at least the sex was consensual aaaaaaand i don’t remember any other good/decent aspects about it. 

Very famous, a lot of ppl have read it, gerard way said it was “well-written” but honestly it wasn’t.

( original? ryden version) 4/10 because of lack of actual crimes.

Filthy Lucre

So bad i don’t remember the plot. They’re prostitutes i think? there definitely was an abusive relationship and the sex scenes were so bad i had to skip all of them, meaning i read the whole thing in half an hour.

Really terrible, they don’t end up toghether and that’s the only interesting element. I recomend no one reads this unless you are literally dying of boredom.

(frerard version) 1/10 because its a completed work, but at what cost

Twist and Shout

This is considered one of the good ones and you know what? for iconic fanfiction standards it’s not bad at all, decently-written with actual characters that don’t feel, like most fanfic characters, like bad ooc versions of the original.

How about the overcomplicated plot tho? I don’t remember a thing except for the homophobia (its set in the 50s-60s), the war, the Elvis songs, one cute sad beach scene and one of the protagonists dying of aids. Maybe they also watch star trek,idk; lots to unpack. 

If you want to suffer and you have lots of free time i recommend it, i skipped most of the sex scenes but there is an actual plot so that was not a problem.

(original Destiel version) 8/10 bc I don’t remember how they handled the aids thing but it made me uncomfortable, might be just bc of the upsetting subject matter but i don’t remember

The Hat Fic

DO NOT READ THIS THING. Go read the milk fic if you want weird but not this one please. A milk enema is NOTHING. Contains animal abuse and i don’t remember how consensual the whole thing was.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE TO THIS DAY I FEEL SICK WRITING THIS. There is a whole subset of early phanfiction centered on being as disgusting and upsetting as possible and i think this started it.

I higly doubt anyone got off on this but still the possibility unsettles me.

(original phan version )  -8233983743764346/10 should be illigal to talk about it. We should all agree to Damnatio Memoriae this thing.

A splitting of the Mind

Some people insist on treating this as one of the good iconic fics but it’s bad. 

So bad its actually an interesting read if you feel like analizing some text, trying to see what is so appealing about it, despite its evident flaws.

The age gap is 19-16 so not as bad as the Other Iconic mcr Fanfic About Doves that i did not read bc from what i remember it was basically pedophilia/grooming but i might be wrong. God the bar is so low

Portrayal of mantal illness and trauma was truly a shitshow, the writing was not great but also not horrible. The sexual assault elements upset me greatly but it might be just bc of the subject matter

pros: unreliable narrator done decently, ray toro’s character saw the future looking in cereal, characters are characters and not merely names (not to be confused with actual good characterization), nothing else.

(original frerard version) 5/10 for the effort honestly, but i do not recommend this unless you are mentally ready for some heavy topics handled poorly.

The Lung Fic

This was written with the goal of shocking the reader, in the same vein as all hat fic/ milk fic copycats.

 Should be more upsetting, given it contains gore, pedophilia and a bunch of other disgusting madness (maybe mpreg?), but it just reads as a fanfiction taboo list.

Not worth reading at all, clearly intentionally designed to shock and disgust to the point where it’s obvious.

0/10 i don’te remember which version, irrelevant, don’t waste your time

Anatomy of a fall

Contains ghosts, high school au, possibly resurrection or death, idk.

I don’t remember this being particularly offensive in any way, but its been a long time. Then again i did not read the sex scenes so it might contain necrophilia and i wouldn’t know. (i checked and no necrophilia, just “weird supernatural sex”)

is it well written? no, but it’s not outragiously badly-written. Is it funny sometimes? yes.

 In the context of this list, this might be a good one, in any other context probably not. I might be biased bc i love ghost stories in general and this one does not contain sexual assault if i remember correcly. (The bar is soooo low)

(original? frerard version) 7/10 bc ghosts and funny aND IT HAS ILLUSTRATIONS (vietnamese translation available)

 The Heart Rate of a Mouse

Good but not in the classical meaning of the word. It contains some Hot TakesTM on human sexuality, substance abuse and unhealthy relationship(s).

Its set in the 70s so the homophobia is there and she is thriving. Wonderful internalized homophobia, really 10/10 for that.

The sex and the plot sometimes intersect, putting me in the uncomfortable position of having to  read smut or not knowiong what is going on (0/10 ).

Well written for the genre (=beloved fanfictions that are rarely redeemable); characters are original and flawed, even interesting sometimes.

The plot is three pubblished books worth of plot available for free on the internet and that is a blessing. I suggest reading this as if all the characters are OCs and you found this book forgotten on the train and decided to read it. 

But is it actually good as a story? idk its a lot honestly, if you have to quarantine for 14 days bc of covid and you don’t have anything to study, this will fill at least 4 full days of reading.

(original version)8/10 bc it has everithing but its still not a masterpiece of modern fanfic literature sorry

Unholyverse

Contains Demons, priests, scarfs, exorcisms(affectionate), vergin mary tatoos and much more. Not as carefully written as throam or tas, but it still makes it as one of the good  fanfics solely for the cool factor.

It would be so cool if this was better written and a comicbook or a grafic novel with original characters.( I skipped all the sex scenes bc they made me uncomfy, as usual so idkwhat was going on there)

If there was anything extremely upsetting about this one i forgot about it (i checked: they say “ warnings for religious themes, pain, trauma, blood, torture and death”). There is a lot of plot, its not even just one fic its a whole serie. 

Great for passing the time, I forgot most of it 7/10 for the demons (original version)

[polishhandplates]

Translation notes 16-20 | HANDPLATES

I just realized, that I’m doing these notes for no one/no reason, really, just because I want to share my passion before I can even start editing the comic… that makes me feel better, honestly. Makes me feel very human. So yeah, if anyone stumbles upon this, Hi! Hope you enjoy this!

I was so so happy when I re-read hand plates last time, and remembered that gaster says „I must have lost track of time” because, well, we have the perfect phrase for it, which is shorter (for once) and all around well known. Sometimes all you need is one phrase that translates perfectly to light up your day!

Okay, I won’t lie, I forgot to write the note after 16 and had to do it at the same time as this one, anyways. I decided to translate „Eyeglowing” as just „Blask” - „Shine” and to translate someone actually doing the eye glowing as „Świecenie” so „Glowing”. It makes more sense to do it like that, and it helps to make it shorter, more concise. Just like I’ll translate hand plates as just plates. Because hand plates is read just like that hand plates, two short words, and the polish equivalent would be płytki ręczne or something like that. Well, Płytki ręczne would be read as Pły-tki Ręcz-ne and all around would be more clunky. So, to keep the vaguely two part nature of the name, I’ll translate it to just Płytki - just plates. Just a little thingy for ppl curious 

That one… hurt… but hey! I found another „perfect translation”! This time it was „you may blind yourself regardless” since it translates rather well to „ślepy z własnej ręki” so „blind by your own hands/doing”. This one was luckily rather short, not too much work, not too much to comment on. Changed „he’ll have to deal with it” to „He’ll have to live with it” since, again, it made more sense that way. I had a little problem with translating alignment but it was also relatively easy to figure out.

On the topic of figuring stuff out, some of the dialogue was a little hard to translate, a lot of repeating happened. I translated „people” to „other monsters” since if I were to translate it literally he’s say „humans” and that wouldn’t be very gaster of him. I continue to translate all of Gasters words about his choice as a „path” just so it connects more and stuff. Though, I feel like gaster thinks of it as a river…now that I think of it… I really should draw him on a lil raft, being carries on a river of dust towards the void

This „Chapter” reminded me that these notes are also supposed to help me keep track of how I translate certain things. For example, The beams. I translated them to the forcefield because there isn’t one way to translate it, and while yes, I could technically call them „promienie” which DOES mean beams, it wouldn’t really bring in the idea of the dangerous beams, more of the beams of light! So force field it is. I think it also conveys better how the baby bones think it’s like an impenetrable wall! A field of force that separates them from freedom, a gaster’s grasp stopping them from living a normal life. But hey, that might just be me! As a side note, damn I love the empty look sans’s eyes have in this chapter, it’s truly bonechilling…hehe

So yeah, that’s the first 20 chapters translated! Wooo that was a lot! But worth it, in my opinion. Now, the translations will be regularly posted! Having a backlog has it’s perks that’s for sure! I hope to release the first translated chapter this week! Might even post two chapters just as a treat!

[writinandcrying]

Should I stay or should I go?

tmnt x reader - Headcanon - PART 1

Link for part 2 - Donnie and Mikey

Pov: for external reasons ( your wifi wasn’t working, renovations in your apartment, hell, the whole building, pipe broke down you have no water for 3 days straight) you had to stay at the lair, it was all fun and games for the first 3-4 days, but routine had caught up with you and the turtles, you have never been that close to them for such long time. Which turtle wants you stay longer, and which one wants their space back?

not all turtles have a crush on y/n ( like, at the same time), but depending on which turtle you are reading, they have the crush on y/n (does that make sense? I hope it does )

Leo

🎏He wants you to stay

🎏( you thought I was going to say leave huh?)

🎏At first when you asked if you could stay some days at the lair he was a little bit... apprehensive? Not anxious per say, but definitely questionated if you would be comfortable, if your routines wouldn’t crash, could be keep up his “host” facade for that long?

🎏He was surprised how quiet you were, I mean, whenever everyone were at table for dinner or at game night you joked along, but during “normal activities” work, reading, studying, just, going through your day, you were so quiet. Did you not feel welcomed at the lair?

🎏Truth to be told you didn’t want to feel like a burden or a problem to them, you were already a new person in their space, so you just kept it to yourself. Took turns in who to ask something for if you need it, ( mostly tried to do stuff on your on) so no one would feel overwhelmed

🎏 Leo doesn’t want you to feel like you don’t belong, so whenever he makes tea, or it’s medication time at the dojo, he asks if you would like to join him, at first you thought it was just out of politeness, (and at first it was) but he insists so much that you give in, at some point you both get used to doing stuff together and like each others company

🎏 He loves his brothers? Yes. Loves spending time with them? Of course! But there are a certain amount of things that he would rather do with you, he feels... more comfortable doing so. Doesn’t feel pressured to put up the leader facade, to be serious all the time. he could be him with you, and there wasn’t many times that he could do that ( with master splinter he could, not all times tho. Lately there was so many foot activity going on that master wanted him to stay focused in almost all of their conversations ) so your hangouts were blissful to him

🎏he doesn’t even realize 4-5 days have gone by, when you finally get a call from your landlord that you can go back, he really wants to ask you to stay some more, not only he felt at ease talking to you, but he never slept better those last few days, for him, knowing that you were “under the same roof”, you were protected inside the lair, made him sleep so profoundly, it gave a sense of security he didn’t knew he craved.

🎏 he doesn’t have the heart to ask you tho. asking you to stay seems selfish of him, you have a life, you belong with the other humans out there, this last days with you made him feel so normal, but with that call it was like a bucket out cold icy water runing on this carapace, you both don’t belong in the same world, it was foolish to think anything like.. a relationship, could work between the both of you

🎏Leo gets so caught up in this intrusive ideas, he closes up. At first you think you did something wrong, everything was just fine minutes ago, but then maybe- just maybe, all of the tea you shared together, the shows you watched and the late night talks, was he just being nice? He didn’t want to spend all of that time with you, did he?

🎏 for the first time since you got in the lair, you felt bothersome, you pack your stuff fast, you don’t want to be a burden no longer, you say your thanks to his brothers and master splinter, apologize for any inconveniences, then when it comes to Leo, the air becomes heavier, it harder to read him, your throat tightens, you don’t know if you should thank or say sorry to him.

🎏 you tell him both

🎏 you walk alone through the sewer, moments before you got asked if you needed to be scorted, “it’s no problem” he assured, Leo was smiling but that were something in his eyes that made you question his words, you made your way as you declined his offer. It was easy to Make yourself believe it was the god awful smell that it was making your eyes water with tears

🎏 for the best days, Leo trained for hours, was harsher on patrol, at home, got more quiet than what he normally was. Everyone noticed, no one commented on it. He missed you, He wanted to you to back so bad, he wanted the late night talks, he endless laughter going on between both of you, but in no way he would tell you so.

🎏 if he only knew you wanted the same as him

Raph

🧨 he wants you to stay, but he also wants you to go... you should go

🧨 don’t get me wrong, he loves the first 2 days you are there, my god. He had never felt so powerful at his own home

🧨Raph LOVES spending time with you, you make him feel like the funniest guy around, likes working out with you, or you just admiring him while he works out, wink wink ;)

🧨 has a lot of pent up tension from watching you workout, or just simply having you watch him train and such ( he is a horny man don’t look at me) and he might or might not think of you a lot... in the shower.. in his bed.. in the middle of the night... He lives for the thrill of you being so near him but would actually DIE if you caught him- Well, u know. Anyways, he lives for your attention

🧨 he lives for it until he noticed how eco-y the lair was, and oh boy he needs to fart. Really Bad.

🧨the reason why raph wants you to go is because he needs to fart? Yes. let me tell you why:

🧨Raph cares a lot about his exterior, specially with his crush is around. in his mind he has a reputation to maintain with you, so yeah, he does NOT want to embarrass himself in front of you, plus he needs to work on mikeys sweater and he hasn’t shown to you that he actually knits ( and it’s very self conscious to do so, will you think less of him for having such a... homey- Grandma material, Hobby?)

🧨 so yes; Raph would rather die than to let it rip next to you, but he wants to so bad oh my GOOOOOOD ( mind you this is crush state, if it was a s/o of long time you will need to deal with the monstrosity that comes from his behind, sorry), when he realizes that farts arent the only thing that needs to be let out he lowkey starts to panic ( no, he did not take a dump while you were there, is raph one of those ppl who has a shy 🍑 when there’s new people are around? That cannot go outside his own home? You bet he is)

🧨he does feel more at peace knowing you are safe and sound while sleeping at the lair like Leo, but when you get a call that you can go back to your home, he is upset... and relieved( won’t show the latter until you are out at the door and he’s running to the bathroom)

🧨 will miss you, your sassy remarks, your ass, your company in general, but will only notice those feelings after reclaiming his space back

🧨Mind you when he left his mighty trone, shit was so clogged, Donnie wanted to kill him ( because obviously he is the one to fix everything around the lair)

🧨for his disdain, Mikey had revived a long lost forgotten nickname from old days: Shit blaster 3000

🧨 (Mikey had to hide for 2 hours from Raph trying to beat up his ass from bringing that name back - which stuck for 2 days, mainly cuz Donnie was so pissed at him he wouldn’t let it go of the name)

🧨 but hey, after that he asked you to stay over a lot more! Slowly he started to show more and more about him, ( the relief he felt when he finally showed you his knit projects and you loved it, he was holding up his breath the whole time) he also loves how more comfortable you got after staying those days with him them, so yeah, feel free to stay over a lot more!

🧨just, don’t stay for long periods of time

🧨 (for donnies sake)

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I don’t know how I went from soft to sad Leo to sassy and fart ass raph in one Headcanon? Raph Headcanons are always so serious or u know ~sexy~, but honestly he has such comedy potential, anyways- I hope you guys enjoyed it sbfbgjkfkdks, tell me if you want me to do Donnie and mikeys!