#Cass is there

[meikooo200]

They went as civilians for a “family vacations” and hired a local kid as their guide.

Billy (the guide in cuestion): And here is the zoo, and there is the second zoo, and there’s the third zoo. *ponting to three differet buildings*

Damian: *alteady interested* What’s the difference between them?

Billy: In the first one are normal animal, you know, lions, birds, bats, all of that.

Dick: And in the second?

Billy: Oh, mostly the same, but there are other animals like Diricawls, nifflers, kelpies, we have one chupa cabras. You know, magical creatures.

The Bats:…

Jason (who was told to the reporters that he was under witness protection for the death of Robin II): And the third one?

Billy: Well, nothing awesome. Just the dinosaurs.

Bruce: The what?

Billy: The dinosaurs. *notice their looks of confusion* Wait, have you ever seen a dinosaur zoo?

Tim: No??? What’s wrong with this city? Didn’t you see the fucking Jurassic Park saga???? *crashing out with almost his entire family*

Billy: So, don’t you want to pet them?

Damian: Do you have a triceratops?

Bruce: Damian, no.

Billy: Damian, yes. *hols Damian’s hand and walks to the dinosaurs zoo* Would you like to swim with the mosasaur? My family bought one extra ticket by error and I’m sure they can give it to you.

Bruce almost have three heart atacks when he saw all his childrens swiming with six random kids an a fucking mosasaur.

Billy did that on purpose as a revenge to Bruce for drinking his CapriSuns.

Feel free to correct my english c;

Batfam goes to Fawcett City to try and get some information on Marvel it's absolutely chaos.

[luliadraws]

The implementation of Tim’s cowl

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

[elierlick]

The brain does not magically mature at 25. Actual neuroscientists note some 8-year-olds even have a greater "maturation index" than 25-year-olds. The myth misunderstands basic neuroscience but is still used for anti-trans policymaking like the Cass Report. https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html

[plagueislost]

there is a voice inside my head that whispers “wing au” every time i join a new fandom. it is currently winning.

[onlyinredtoday]

Fanon: Cass loves all her brothers equally even she calls them "little brother" 💕

Canon:

Cass with Dick 🤔:

Cass with Jason 💀:

Cass with Tim 🥰:

Cass with Duke 🥰:

Cass with Damian 😠:

She is not subtle and I love it 😆

It would be:

1- Tim or Duke

2- Dick

3- Damian

4- Jason

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce dropped out of medical school and as much as he tries to hide it, his kids all find out. Ofcourse they never let him live it down after that

Emo 21-year-old Bruce: You're not my father, Alfred!

Alfred: Quite right. I have a medical degree, and you don't.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick: Hey I'm dropping out of Gotham University

Bruce: What? You're quitting college halfway?! Unacceptable, you cannot just give up on your engineering degree-

Dick: I did not just hear the failed doctor say that

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, fuming: You left my side tonight to go and gallivant around with harley quinn? A villain?

Steph: So what if she's a villain, Bruce? Atleast the villain has a doctorate.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, bandaging Duke's wound because Alfred was busy: There, all done

Duke: Woah, didn't expect that from a college dropout

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Stop ignoring my orders in the field! You need to listen, I have more experience-

Jason, as red hood, with his PhD in English: Which one of us actually has a Dr in front of their name?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim: So I'm dropping out of high school

Bruce: You too?! First Dick and now you?!

Tim: No, first it was you, then Dick, and now me

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Damian, your recent report card indicates you're falling behind in Biology

Damian: Tt. Must run in the family, then.

Bruce:

[freefallintothevoid]

Dick Grayson's unmatched success as a child vigilante makes a lot more sense when you remember the Court of Owls was a thing and that Dick was meant to be the next Grey Son.

There is no way that someone at Haly's Circus wasn't there keeping an eye on him while he grew up. A future weapon needs to be trained and monitored after all, and a circus, a place where weird skills are completely normal, is actually a great place to secretly train a child.

You know, just some knife tricks that translated really well into actual fighting. How to get out of restraints and pick locks while under a time limit. Death defying acrobatic stunts that coincidentally do wonders for parkouring. That sort of thing. Nothing that seems out of place for a boy growing up around circus performers to learn, but would literally any where else.

I mean, while I fully believe that most kids would want to kill the man responsible for their parents deaths, Dick was weirdly prepared to go through it. He tracked down Zucco with way more ease than any normal child should have too. He became the first child vigilante, for goodness sake. The first Robin! He only started getting formal training after he basically forced Bruce into it!

Bruce himself has no idea that this kind of competency in a child is unusual, considering he was much too blinded by the similarities between his and Dick's tragic orphanhoods.

Alfred is in a similar boat because he’s desensitized to weird children after he somehow managed to successfully raise Bruce 'The Batman' Wayne, so he doesn't clock the hyper-competency as abnormal either.

By the time the other batkids start popping up (Jason 'The Audacity' Todd, borderline-street rat with no fear) (Tim 'the greatest stalker in Gotham history' Drake, child genius, also bullied his way into becoming Robin) (Barbara 'raised by the only uncorrupt cop in gotham' Gordon) (Stephanie 'daddy issues and spite' Brown) (Duke 'Pretends he's the normal one and people believe him' Thomas) it's too late.

It would also explain how Dick got along so well with Damian out of all of them. Similar childhood with different approaches and all that. On some subconscious level, Dick recognises and resonates with the murderous ten year old assassin with strong familial ties to a secret elite assassin organization.

It isn't until after the whole Court of Owls and Grey Son reveal that suddenly Dick realises a whole lot of things about his childhood that suddenly make a lot more sense.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Want to play a game?

Jason: *war flashbacks to knife monopoly* ...okay...?

Tim: It's called 'Jon or katana'. I give you actual quotes from Damian, and you guess if he was talking to his sword or his boyfriend.

Jason:

Jason: Awesome.

[ravenlilyrose]

Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.

Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”

Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*

Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”

Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’

And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?

Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.

Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.

[spicy-apple-pie]

She got the part :) (the rat king)

Commission Info / Kofi

[proneterror204]

Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)

Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!

????(cass): No.

Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!

????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.

Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!

????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?

Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!

????(cass): oh?

Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?

????(cass): Batman.

Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!

*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?

????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?

Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?

????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?

Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.

Cass: Danny very cute.

Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?

Batman: Follow. Them.

[luca-is-a-pengu]

The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen

[theotherpacman]

tim: dad... I have a boyfriend

bruce: what? but you're supposed to get back together with stephanie

tim: what?

dick: whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were an ally

bruce: I'm not being homophobic I just need steph to marry into the family

cass: I have something to share

[blackbatest]

my most controversial batman opinion to date