#Can we also talk about the fact that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dykedvonte · 8 days ago

Note

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

181 notes · View notes

junotter · 1 year ago

Text

All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.

Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.

In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #ig #ive got a lot more on how barbie looks at feminism and the patriarchy cause god they did it #not to say there isnt faults such as very little conversation about intersectionality #but i can also understand the impossible task of talking about EVERYTHING in one movie #not everyone will be happy and thats fine #anyway i think something barbie did really well is fight this battle of both wanting so deeply to love (romantically or not) men but also #not dismissing the fact its mens job to solve their problems themselves #that even if women need to be the front runners of breaking the patriarchy men cannot rely on them to solve their own problems completely #also just god im so glad this wasnt a girl boss slay movie #women deserve respect and love and life regardless of accomplishment #we should not have to be ceos and presidents and world problem solvers to gain equality #i can also understand if nonbinary people feel left out/disconnected from the movie #but as always gender abolition and acknowledging the gender binary (ie the one societially impossed) go hand and hand 👍#just incase cause idfk terfs dni the barbie movie is not for you #barbie literally states constantly that her gender has nothing to do with (non existent) genitals so f off

1K notes · View notes

forlouren · 5 months ago

Text

Not to be the first soldier on the frontless of the woobification of Qimir (he is a villain, we know this, and I love him for it), but the lack of nuance, or rather the one-dimensional angle people who don't like his relationship with Osha have taken with him, irks me so bad. I get it. He is Sith, right. Treachery is their way; and what are the darksiders, if not self-serving?

But I feel like the specific phrasing of "the Jedi like you would call me Sith" implies so much about his own unique characterization, and I don't understand why we are glossing over it. It's not a self-identifier. It shows it isn't as much as a title he'd give himself, but a badge he'll wear since in the black/white viewpoint of the Jedi, he is not allowed to be anything more or less. His almost catty, "semantics" hammers in this fact for me, personally.

He strikes me as one who takes what he wants of the Sith code, and disregards the rest. I don't think it's a mistake that even after his reveal, we don't see him with the signature dark side eyes.

I say all this to say; Qimir's ultimate goal is not power, it is FREEDOM. *That* is what he is driven by. He craves to live outside the confines he deems as constrictive/oppressive, and have by his side, someone who wants the same.

So even while disregarding Leslye's interview; I honestly don't know how with what we've been shown in the show so far, aside from him being a sith, makes people think otherwise.

#the acolyte #qimir #star wars #oshamir #osha x qimir #meta #i guess #sorta #this is not me saying qimir good jedi bad brrr either #not at all #but to compare his actions to osha to the likes of sidious towards anakin feels so misplaced #he is such a textbook radical and i fear we shouldn't ignore that #also can we just talk about how mad he was about mae's betrayal? how he was glancing over jedi in his pursuit of getting her?#isn't it the sith way for the apprentice to kill their master? isn't that the rule of two?#and yet he was so burned by the mere notion of her betrayal #he is not your Typical Sith Lord and that is okay Actually #never mind the fact when presented with several opportunities to deal the killing blow he didn't lol #his love in fact does go Deep my honor #and now he has osha someone who will actually reciprocate?#oh they drive me crazy

184 notes · View notes

talulagrimm · 1 year ago

Text

I see everyone freaking out about the pool scene, meanwhile I'm over here freaking out about one expression in one shot. This mans is unhinged and feral and I live for it.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #chat noir #cat noir #claw noir #griffe noire #miraculous paris #miraculous paris special #the fact that I haven't drawn shadybug yet is a crime and yet I'm probs not going too :(#also can we just talk about how they made the special take place IN THE SAME NIGHT AS DESTRUCTION AND EVOLUTION?#Anyways I enjoyed it :)#ml paris special #ml paris spoilers

628 notes · View notes

shitty-proendo-blackout-posts · 25 days ago

Text

endos are systems.

you are cool. YOU. ARE. A. SYSTEM.

#endo safe <3

#“can we also talk about the fact that people with safe & healthy households WANT TRAUMA?” yeah actually lets talk about that #because the people who “want trauma” *are* actually traumatized! but (like with many cases of trauma) they dont remember it.#what they *want* is an explanation. a reason for why theyre like this.#anyone who has had an undiagnosed disorder knows the feeling of thinking you're just broken. and wanting nothing more than an explanation.#this is also why some people find themselves in the radqueer community. i know this isnt something i talk about much but its relevant here.#you feel like you should have trauma but you dont have any? thats okay! there a term for that! you're not broken! you're not alone!#theres an welcoming community of people just like you! where you can be accepted for who you are! no matter what!#“people from safe and healthy households want trauma” no we dont. we want an explanation.#i hate talking about radqueers but i used to id as transharmed in many ways and ended up actually being traumatized‚#i feel like its important to include that angle.#lol.exe #blackout poetry #pro endo #endo safe #endo friendly #jesus christ i talk too much

95 notes · View notes

mochiwrites · 8 months ago

Text

secret husbands au — master post!

since… that’s a thing I need now, apparently! :D

this is a collection of all of the important bits of the au! scar and grian knew one another pre-hermitcraft! they were married long before scar joined back in season 4. none of the hermits actually know they’re married because they’re oblivious. and they think scar and grian have been pining after each other for years. so they decide to get them together!

there is hermitshipping involved (obviously) so if that’s not your thing, this au isn’t for you!

also this au is like 95% fluff and 5% angst. sorry angst lovers, the fluff enjoyers get well fed with this one

caution: things might get a little suggestive, but that’s it. no real warnings for this au!

- main tag: #secret husbands au

fics/drabbles.

scarian’s first meeting / the cuddle curse / avalanche / scarian’s reunion / scar's birthday / scar proposing /

arts.

secret husbands ; by @nothavinganygoodtimes / drabble ; by @hermitcraft-my-beloved /

hypixel era.

scar backstory / how grian and scar met / rough timeline / the roommate offer / scar job hunt / jellie / scar's nightmare / scar baking cookies / dating? / grian being sick / the proposal: one ; two ; / scarian cooking (or... trying to) / grian goodtimes: one ; two / scar twig to hunk / scar and food / scar being touch starved / from tcd to hypixel /

hermit s4 - evo.

scar joining hermitcraft: one ; two ; / hermits knowing g went missing / scar and grian's sweater / grian losing his wedding ring: one ; two / grian showing scar his watcher form / scar becoming vex / cub and scar / grian not looking for scar /

hermitcraft.

grian joining hermitcraft / closure from evo / grian's reaction to scar vex / bdubs starts it / season 6 thoughts: one ; two ; / season 7 thoughts: one ; two ; / season 8 thoughts: one ; / season 9 thoughts: one ; / season 10 thoughts: one ; / sweater and blanket: one ; two / king ren arc: one ; / mycelium resistance/mayor stuff: one ; two ; three ; four / grian and food / grian and sensory overload /

life series.

potential life series / differences in third life /

lore asks.

how they show affection / the betting pool / vow renewals / martyn voice: scar is tricking a married man! / why no one realizes in s6 / empires knowing / scar and grian's bets / nightmares: one ; two ; / grian playing with scar's hair / grian and nests / "avian" grian: one ; two ; three ; four ; / mcc / vex lore / watcher lore / scar doing art / eating habits / wearing each others clothes / scarian getting their suits / old suits for renewal / scar's bday /

misc.

the initial post / third life thoughts / "why didn't you tell me we were dating?" / who knows vs who doesn't / "I sure hope he does" / secret husbands syndrome / scarian's marriage / "scar loves you" /

#secret husbands au #CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS AU IS ONLY 3 DAYS OLD #AND THERE'S ALREADY SO MUCH UNDER THE LORE ASKS SECTION #JFC JGHFJKHGF /POS #also I will. just say.#that if any art of this au starts circulating it will be added here #I thought it might've been presumptuous to add an art section jkghdfhgfgj

219 notes · View notes

lazymonth · 4 months ago

Text

Chat, chat, listen to me, chat. This is real.

#Can we talking about Turbo also have some similarity with Hades #Grey skin. Yellow eyes and teeth. funny humor good villains.#and hot-#I can't get over the fact that Turbo really looks like Kick Buttowski and it's funny af #meme #disney hades #turbotastic #kick buttowski #shit post

111 notes · View notes

tvboxi · 3 months ago

Text

it breaks my heart how everyone in this fandom is so happy to forgive and forget terrible things old moon, eclipse, bloodmoon, ruin, puppet, monty, literally everyone else has done, but nexus is where they draw the line at the possibility of being 'redeemed'.

like, bloodmoon killin people? meh, whatever. ruin destroying 5000+ dimensions? he was doing it for the greater good, he can still be redeemed! eclipse terrorizing and trying to kill sun and moon over and over? well he's making an effort now and the way he was treated was bad, so it's all okay. old moon treating sun the way he did for so long? he's had time to think and is doing better now, he's a good guy!

but nexus- nope. almost killed earth as collateral damage (like he wasn't even aiming for her at all) so he is just an evil guy now and can't ever be helped.

like, dude was so happy in the beginning until all the expectations of being like old moon but better were shoved onto him. he did so much to make sure everyone was happy and safe, even tried to forgive and forget with ruin, only for ruin to have been lying the whole time. then he looses solar, tries everything to get him back, finds out the one way to do that but can't, goes into his head to talk to old moon who basically tells him to die for his family to keep them happy, goes back to trying to get solar back by killing blood moon who has done pretty much nothing but cause problems, but then everyone is like, 'yknow, the best thing do do right now would be to just lock him up!'. then sun comes along and tells the computer to just fuckin shock him if he uses star power, monty come by too and says he's gonna talk to old moon, nexus is like 'no, i refuse' and monty actually shocks him into unconsciousness anyways to do it. puppet and monty want to bring old moon back, which would basically get rid of nexus, but i guess they think when they kill its 'justified enough' (but nexus trying to bring back solar isn't justified to them for some reason). then nexus finally snaps and goes to get bloodmoon, puppet gets him first, and then they send nexus to space. he joins dark sun who acually treats him like his own person, starts using negative starpower which is very very harmful to him, and he has a new look now to show that he is in fact not just a different version of the old moon and is his own person.

but yes, he's' just going through a stupid emo phase hahaha.

#also can we talk about the fact that hes actively dying #of his own choice???#like he is very much unstable but i think the negative starpower has just made it so much worse #i swear these people don't even know what emo means #man has this whole moment of finding out he can have his own identity and doesn't just have to be a better version of moon #but no one cares. at all.#tsams #tsams nexus #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show

121 notes · View notes