#CRYING . I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP
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Orym is giving very "I have fallen in love again and that feels like a betrayal to my dead husband" energy.
He's also giving "I care so much about my friends and I have to protect them but the love I have for one is so strong that it's distracting me AND it's not fair to the others"
Like there is so much love contained in the Orym and also so much guilt.
#dorym#cr 3#orym of the air ashari#i promise ill watch the campaign eventually#i cant not#but im just sittitng here wildly speculating#because i havent seen them#i miss my boys#dorian storm#i also dont know if orym knows how much he means to everyone?#like i know the crown keepers at least love him so much#and im sure the bells hells adore him just as much or more#and he just seems like he doesnt know#i saw a thing about how sam was crying in cr 1 because he couldnt save liam and like?#the caption was like “liam not realizing anyone was trying ti save him” (or something) and thats just so orym#he doesnt let other people protect him#thats why dorian is so special#dorian has always been focused on orym#whether he knew it or not.#like truly that “orym doesnt know is doruan feels the same way” when thats literally all dorian has been showing him#i thought it was so obvious in exu prime.#more obvious than oryms feelings#and orym is just like “he couldnt possibly”#ORYM OF THE AIR ASHARI YOU ARE LOVED#YOU ARE LOVED SO FUCKING MUCH#okay ill shut up the tags are longer than the post#silver sending stones
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Ominis is just too hard to impress
#el dorado reference for your feed dudes#Ominis “If only you knew how I'm done you'd fkin cry” Gaunt and Sebastian “I'm fd up sorry I'll do it again” Sallow#and last but not least Ida “How To Save A Life” Ullson lmao#imagine HOW MUCH Ominis is done with Seb's shenanigans that even this outcome he can predict#Ida being related to Ominis by grandfather is something he didn't expect really#my bf sent me this meme I just couldn't resist the urge to redraw#ida ullson#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#sebastian sallow#ominis gaunt
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no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-
#im gonna fucking throw up lancer's relationship with all of the fun gang is literally so important to me#hes gone his whole life surrounded by people but so incredibly alone for a multitude of reasons NONE of which are his fault#every grown ass adult in that castle knew he was suffering but did NOTHING about it#so to see these teenagers (OTHER KIDS) not only take him under their wing and include him whenever possible#but also stand up and say 'NO. no you will NOT get away with that' when his shithead dad abuses him#going so far as to put their own asses on the line for him because they fucking care#and lancer loves them back!!! hes saved the fun gang's asses twice in as many chapters#the first instance being when he did something he's NEVER done before and took up hands against his dad#the affection in his dialogue when he talks about kris and susie and ralsei#calls them all funny nicknames and says that he misses them...#shaking and crying and throwing up and falling down thr stairs and astral projecting#im so so os so so normal about these characters i promise#deltarune
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so like do you think they made the plastic wheelchair ALONGSIDE the plastic prison as a Just In Case situation, only after they realized charles was going to be a frequent visitor, or both as in because they knew charles was going to be the only person visiting him during planning they decided to make him a chair ahead of time
#xmen#x2: x men united#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#not really but yes it is#snap chats#secret fourth option is they just had a plastic wheelchair at the mansion just in case this incredibly specific scenario happened jvlkaervj#part of me hopes the staff just Knew cause imagine being THAT divorced publicly but another part hopes erik asked for one. not politely ofc#def joked bout how charles couldnt think to leave him alone for five minutes lest he did something Uncouth somehow ik he did#that charles was going to show up sooner or later so they might as well make it easy for themselves and prep etc etc#girl ima throw up what if charles didnt visit tho .... thats not even a possibility cause ofc he did but still !!!!#personally id throw up and cry like wdym my best friend ex husband didnt show up. when i even asked for a chair for him ..#EVEN ASKED FOR A SILLY LIL PLASTIC CHESS SET alternatively what if charles brought that... im making myself sick#As Indicated By My Username i think of the plastic jail every day its so funny to me and so quaint#i should rewatch X2 just for plastic jail#like it makes sense and i do think its a cute detail but still. gotta put grandpa in the polly pocket prison set now. tragic !!#i remember watching the movie for the first time in recent years and audibly going 'aw' at the plastic wheelchair im so sorry JVLKEJKA#LIKE AWW CMON THATS WEIRDLY CUTE gotta make sure peepaw can visit his ex husband </3 so they can play chess </3#i love that chess is Their Thing ... any time a ship's got mfers who fucks heavy with chess i know im hooked#its not intentional things happen this way but i will still laugh#kk nightly cherik posting is done byebye
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something something one of the reasons Nero went out of his way to stop the shit twins from killing eachother on the top of the Qliphoth - besides not wanting to lose his family 5 minutes after discovering them - being that he didn't want Dante to lose his brother like he lost Credo all those years ago
#well lose his brother again that is#but Nero probably didnt know that at the time#also this makes me question just how much of Dante's life Nero knew#how much did Dante keep a secret besides the whole “vergil is your dad” thing??#obviously i can imagine Dante keeping the whole “i killed my own brother twice” thing a secret from Nero#but what else?#would he tell Nero about his previous adventures to places like Mallet or Dumary?#Sparda being his dad?#anything at all?#or would he elect to remain this elusive figure#that Nero thinks he knows#but actually he realizes he doesnt know anything about Dante#besides the fact that they're one in the same#and that dante is this chill laid-back devil hunter#and also vise versa how much would Nero tell Dante about himself?#Would he tell Dante about his past? i think not because of the way Dante assumed Nero's first instinct was to kill Vergil#I think if Dante knew how Nero grew up as an orphan maybe his reaction would've been different#maybe something less like “i cant have you kill your old man” and more “we (the twins) have some business to sort out first”#something like that#devil may cry#dmc#vergil devil may cry#dante devil may cry#dmc 5#devil may cry 5
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"Children should be dragged kicking and screaming to school and the doctor's office and grandma's house and the park" is not and never will be a pro-child opinion.
If your kid doesn't want to go to school so much that they throw a temper tantrum and scream until they go hoarse, and your response is "shut up because you have to go" the problem is still you ignoring your kids needs and you're a shitty parent.
#I always remember a fight I got into on Reddit about this woman complaining that her kid hated broccoli#Because SHE had power and her 4 year old did not this meant that every meal had to feature broccoli#So literally every meal was a fight with her 4 year old and she called it a “power struggle”#Ma'am he's 4#The complaint was he's manipulative and awful and bratty because when he started crying his dad would say he didn't have to eat the broccol#She literally described her own toddler as spoiled#Anyway we as the audience were supposed to side with her against her indulgent husband since she was a SAHM and knew everything#My comment was obviously stop trying to make him eat broccoli?#Her response was that children HAVE to eat vegetables and I wouldn't understand bc I didn't have children#If she didn't force feed her toddler vegetables the vegetable police would shoot her or something#When I said yes but there are dozens of types of vegetables why can't he eat a carrot?#I was informed that she controlled what he ate and he needed to eat what she fed him#Like the only person causing a fight is you#You are unhinged and that child should not be in your custody#But somehow I was crazy for saying that if your kid doesn't like something don't feed them it?#I was told children have to be force exposed to things they don't like especially if they don't like them#So they don't grow up to eat limited diets which is apparently more embarrassing than your kid crying so hard he throws up#And refusing to eat any food that you prepare#But I'm the crazy one!
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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!?#they just care about each other so much and so deeply#and they see the best in each other#penelope was hurt but she never HATED him#penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't#he isn't cruel#he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her#but he has a history of uplifting her#and he continues to do so#not one bad word about penelope all this season#'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing)#colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought#it was only professed in one language#'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?'#'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up)#'i will always look after you penelope'#they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship#a deep beautiful love they have with each other#and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them
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any other character I might not have noticed, but the way Roman holds his arms in front of him when he's crying at the funeral like a shield... like he might get hit...
#roman roy#succession#succession spoilers#yeah i'm gonna be unsufferable about this for AT LEAST 2 weeks considering whats happening next sunday#i didn't even think about it until i noticed the arm that wasn't holding the cue cards#was also held in front of him just him putting it between him and his siblings#like yeah he knew he 'wasn't supposed to' cry#and he's especially visible here in front of all these people#and what must dad think#i do think its a combination of him ineffectually trying to put something between him and all the people watching#and habit from how logan treated him growing up#okay mr armstrong i see your silly mirror i see it
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i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed
#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something#except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me)#but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along#and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person#who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭#i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away#I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode#which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens#i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni#it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry#sorry I'm a little drunk
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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A travesty has occurred
I forgot how to draw Morro
Send help
Immediately
#lego ninjago#ninjago#morro ninjago#i knew something was up#i havent drawn him in too lonf#this is horrible#the withdrawal symptoms are crazy#thsi isnt good#thus is terrible#im shaking#crying#sobbing#sickly#morro im sorry#ill do what ever i can to draw you again#watch out guys#so much morro#OHHHH MORRROOOOOO IALAHSHSHSH#I TRIED FUVE TIMES#I CANT DO THIS#THIS IS BADADADDA#lego emo#dumb stupid emo#its the emos fault#all his fault#im lying#im coping#its my fault#no actually its my hands faults i blame my hand agh#i used the word travesty wrong but theres better things to be worrying about rn
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i love the bingge extra because it's like
the horror of realizing you're the dark universe version of yourself. the injustice of seeing this other version of yourself be happy and loved, seeing him be treated with such gentle tenderness from a person who only ever treated you with cruelty
bad sex.
#svsss#julianno#the little glimpses into bingge's perspective when he's watching them are so rough!!#the sqq he knew was cruel and cold and abused him#and so he got his revenge and became powerful and should have everything he wanted#and then he goes into this other universe#and he sees himself being fussed over by an sqq that is gentle and kind and worries about his wellbeing#an sqq that drains himself of his spiritual energy just to tend his wounds#an sqq that brushes his hair and answers with an indulgent hm? whenever he calls out to him#and how unfair is that? he has everything#but this other version of him is loved#and maybe that's all he wanted this whole time#augh.#and then binghe coming back from pidw's universe and saying he looked everywhere but couldn't find shizun#he had so many people at his side but he didn't have the person who mattered most#GOD. anyway. I have so many thoughts on this extra and I haven't even gotten into the bad sex!#i love how sqq is like FUCK HE'S HUGE. NO WAY I'M TAKING THAT.#and binghe is like maybe shizun should top 🥺 <- definitely something he has fantasized for a long time#and sqq is like wait no what if i hurt him i wouldn't be able to bear it. so he ends up bottoming anyway#also the fact that he's so tired by the end lskdjflksd old man.#he claims it was awful and yet he came twice. you are a liar ❤#reading these books after reading mdzs is very funny#going from wangxian fucking like rabbits and having very enthusiastic kinky sex#to binghe crying in the middle of sex and sqq being like If He Puts That Thing In Me I Think I'll Die.
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I have so many Thoughts I wanna say before I move on from the Public Safety Arc. There'll be manga spoilers by the way.
To be honest, I put off watching Chainsaw Man when I heard the protagonist's sole aim in life is to... touch boobs. I thought Denji was just like any other shonen MCs with perverted tendencies. I tried watching because it was animated by Mappa, but I stayed because of Aki, Denji, and Power (and Meowy). But as I reached the ending of Public Safety Arc, I realized Denji's more complex than that.
All his life Denji was deprived of basic needs; he couldn't even afford the bare minimum. He didn't get to experience love from a parent or admiration from his peers. Denji craved so much for love and affection, but the only way he knew how to get that was through sexual intimacy with a woman. Receiving affection from friends is completely foreign to him. That's why when he and Power did that in the bathroom, Denji's like, "Wait a minute... that's it?" Deep down Denji knew there's more to love than that—there's more to affection than just touching breasts. The moment he started to realize that, Makima just had to twist his mind and turn him back to his sexual urges (screw u for that makima btw).
Throughout the whole arc, Denji continued to believe in his idea that love is just about touch and sex. He ran after women after women who fulfilled that but left him feeling hollowed because, well, they tried to kill him afterwards. It's actually entertaining to watch Denji finally gets his first kiss only to get barfed on the mouth and his second got his tongue cut off. And Makima, the woman he truly loved, not only used him but also discarded him when she got what she wanted. Most of those women don't see Denji as more than a dog. Denji is just some dumb boy who doesn't deserve the normal life he's having.
But Denji really is just some boy. But he's Aki and Power's boy. There's nothing special about him. Aki and Power know that because they looked beyond the Chainsaw—they saw Denji as he is, and accepted him. People treated Denji like a dog and no one saw his worth as a person. But not Aki and Power. Aki gave him a house, taught him and Power manners, cooked for them, and taught him how to cook. Aki treated Denji and Power as his own. And Power, as unhinged and selfish as she is (affectionate), relied so much on Denji. I think that trust taught him to be a better person. To have someone rely on you can make you feel loved and respected. That's why helping Power overcome the fear of the Darkness Devil felt so natural to him. Sleeping with her on the same bed, taking a bath together, and Power walking in on him while he's on the toilet didn't feel naughty (as Denji said). The love Denji's searching for everywhere has always been in front of him: Aki and Power.
Makima can tell Denji she fabricated everything for all I care, saying everything has been a lie and that she set it all up to destroy Denji's mind and heart. But what Aki and Power felt toward Denji was real because they were the only ones who truly loved Denji without asking for anything in return. They saw him as he is, and loved him.
My precious children 🥺🥺🥺 I'm going to miss them
#the first Thoughts I had the moment I woke up#I'm a sucker for found family especially strangers turning into siblings#i really like how the love denji's looking for is just right there in front of him cooking him dinner and playing video games with him#he doesn't need to look further and compared with makima who'd only give “affection” to denji if he does what she orders#aki and power willingly give it all for denji without asking for anything in return. their love for him isn't transactional#that's why it hits so different when power's contract is “come find me” that really made me cry fr#she's asking denji “let's be together again. let's have fun again so come find me”#and aki was willing to give up his life long goal of taking down the gun devil if it meant saving denji and power#he knew denji and power are stronger than him but he joined the mission to protect them. not to get revenge on the gun devil#aki was planning to live his remaining weeks with denji and power. if he had spoken up about that maybe the two would understand#but aki got this Older Sibling Trying Not To Burden the Younger Ones. bro if you had told them you only have weeks to live#they'd do something to help you. you're their personal chef you keep them well fed ofc they'll help you#but alas tragedy makes character develop#chainsaw man#csm spoilers
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girlbossed too hard.... unless...
#like a lot of stuff about kh. one thing being its sprawling plot. love it all fitting together like that#anyway wanted to write a story like that. here i am with my ocs. and now im worried ive made it too confusing#1. maybe it's just because I haven't finished fixing plot holes? 2. maybe it's bc im not telling it in the right order? (random comics)#3. maybe it's because I assume ppl know more than they probably remember? 4. maybe im bad at explaining it?#anyway I talk to ppl about it and they're like ???? about things so now im like hm. i done messed up#problem is. it all makes perfect sense in my head#nomura is this how you felt? is this just the consequences of my actions??#anyway rip me. doomed to pain and suffering since the days of my youth#wanna get better at talking and expressing things but ACK. so hard!!!!#august rambles#text#you may be thinking huh?? you're expressing something rn. and yes. you see. my disease is so annoying. it is not consistent#sometimes I think about it enough i think about ways to talk about it. sometimes I think about it enough and it soaks into my life so...#someone else goes 'hey whats that?' and i go 'oh tiny info about it' as if secretly the person knew everything else because uh#i thought about it so hard. it must be common knowledge??? i don't know things other people don't??#anyway screaming crying i feel like I'm not expressing this right. doomed.
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Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.
#the adventure zone#taz balance#taz#it gets me every time#I was anticipating that scene all shift#and wanted to leave before I got to it bc I knew I would start crying and didn't want to cry at work ahfkahfkka#unfortunately I had to stay an hour and a half late bc yayyy labor day#I also started tearing up at merle with the church of fungston. for some reason.#merle has never really made me that emotional before but I guess now in my old age I'm more struck by his love of life#i understand you better now merle. as a twenty-something I really see the appeal in being able to love life despite the hardships#(this is a joke. I am almost 24 and do not think I'm old)#(I do find merles brand of optimism very good nowadays though. I also have a zest for life and a need to complain about things)#I managed to not cry at the lup and Barry duet though which I am quite proud of#probably bc I spent like half an hour watching lup animatics last night and got my tears out then#I'm having a normal time#normal as hell#most people probably cry over podcasts at their grocery store job#I think that's a standard experience#especially when those podcasts are from 7 years ago and you're still not over them#standard#fluffle talks
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