#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[imaginethiswwe]

Chapter 3: Love Lost

Warnings: Some Fluff 

I spent that night in Finn’s hotel room. Though he stayed in really good spirits like he always does, I didn’t want to leave him. We ordered Chinese and watched a movie. Though we were just friends, he was my favorite snuggle buddy. I didn’t want to bother him tonight with any of that but he insisted I lay with him for the movie, so I did. We laid there, my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He was so calm. He had easily the toughest night of his career tonight, yet here he is laying here calmly with me. I loved that about him. He took life as it came, he didn’t worry about tomorrow until it arrived. And then, it did.

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I woke up to the sun peeking through the curtains. My head was still on his chest and as I looked up at him he was still sleeping peacefully. I stared at him for a second thinking about how much pain his poor arm is in and yet he’s a trooper. I smiled at the sight of him and quietly scooted to the opposite edge of the bed. I sat up and dangled my feet off the side, preparing to get up and hop in the shower, when I felt a light touch on my lower back. As I turned around I saw Finn smiling at me.

“Good Morning beautiful,” he smiled at me 

“Good morning” I smirked back 

He is amazing, the fact that he can wake up this morning smiling. 

“I was just about to hop in the shower and then grab some coffee, can I get you anything?” I asked him.

“Coffee- coffee sounds so good right now” he groaned sleepily at me.

“You got it dude” I jokingly said while giving him a thumbs up and a wink.

I hopped off the bed and made my way to the bathroom, I glanced back to see Finn watching me with a smile. I opened the bathroom door and closed it behind me.

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[Finn POV]

God, she is beautiful. Even with no makeup on, hair in a bun, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I can’t believe how lucky I am that she came into my life over a year ago.

Finn stood up slowly, wincing in pain radiating from his shoulder. After spending such an amazing night with Y/N, he almost forgot about this whole situation. He stood up and threw on some new clothes, though he couldn’t put on his shirt because he couldn’t lift his arm above his head. 

She could have done so many things last night, but she stayed here with me. Ferg, you are most definitely falling for that girl and you’re too chicken shit to tell her. 

The truth was he was falling for Y/N, but because they had become such close friends Finn was terrified to mess that up. What if she didn’t feel the same? She would cut him off and avoid him to avoid the most certain awkwardness that would follow. He decided he needed to keep his feelings to himself and just enjoy her for what they have now. 

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[Y/N POV]

I stepped out of the bathroom drying my hair with my towel. I hated getting dressed in a hot bathroom, but I felt too nervous to come out in a towel in front of Ferg. When I turned the corner I saw him sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from me, it looked like he attempted to get dressed but couldn’t get his shirt on. Lord, if I could burn all his shirts so he had to walk around like that everywhere, I totally would. I stood there quietly for a minute taking in the sight. Then I spoke up.

“Did you need some help with your shirt?”

“Oh, uh yeah, if you don’t mind.” He said handing me his shirt. I helped him slowly get his shirt over his head and helped him get his sling on the trainer had given him last night to hold him over until he went to the hospital tomorrow. 

“I thought maybe you would like some company for that coffee run” He smiled up at me. 

“Of course, if you are up for it, I would never turn down your company,” I said as I grabbed his hand. I don’t know why I did that, I never hold his hand. It was on pure instinct, but he didn’t pull away. In fact, he interlaced his fingers with mine and led the way out of the room.

What the hell is this, was that a spark?

_________________________________

It’s 530 am. I decided to join Finn on his flight to Birmingham to meet with the surgeon. I’m surprised he asked to be honest. His parents were in town after all and I figured he wouldn’t need me to come if they were there. I didn’t mind though, in fact, I wanted to be there for him, I just wasn’t going to invite myself. 

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After a couple X-rays and some pain meds, they were ready to wheel him back into surgery. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him I would see him when he got out. The Dr had expected it to be pretty routine surgery, about 2 hours he said. 

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I kept looking at the clock on my phone. It’s 630 pm. He went in at 130. Where the heck is he? This is certainly longer than 2 hours. My mind started to race, were there complications? Is he okay? Why is this taking so long? I had received some texts from our friends Karl and Sami, checking in to see how he was doing, I wish I freaking had something to tell you guys but I don’t know. I just chose not to answer for the time being. There is no need to worry more people than the 3 of us sitting in this waiting room.

Finally 6 hours after he went in, the Dr came out and explained that there was a lot more damage than he originally anticipated, but that he was out of surgery and he was asking for me, just me.

“Me?” I looked at the Dr and then at his parents. They were happy he was out and gave me an almost knowing smile. Then they nodded at me to go and they returned to their seats. 

I followed the Dr back to Finn’s room and saw him laying there. It was a surreal moment for me. In my mind, I knew he was okay, but it was scary seeing him hooked up to oxygen, with an IV in his hand and his arm all packed up with bandage and ice. 

“He’s really groggy, but he is conscious,” The Dr told me, then he turned around and walked away. 

I entered the room and quietly made my way to his bedside. I reached my hand up and placed it on his, letting him know I was there. A smile came across his face.

“There’s my girl” He said with a raspy voice from his breathing tube during surgery

His girl?

“I’m here, you scared me half to death you know, you always gotta put on a show and make everything way more exciting than it has to be” I joked with him. 

He laughed at my sarcasm and raised his eyebrows, still leaving his eyes closed.

“I’m sorry love,” he said at an audible whisper

“It’s fine, I’m just glad you’re okay. How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. Much better now that you’re here. I love you” He replied.

I about choked on my spit. Did he just say what I think he said? He loves me?! Where did that come from? Does he mean that, or is that the medicine talking? I didn’t know what to say. 

Of course I loved him. He is my best friend, but we’ve always acted like more. Just without the super romantic side. But what if he doesn’t really mean that and I say it back, then that’s super awkward. I decided I would just squeeze his hand in acknowledgement. He smiled. I stood up and kissed his forehead right as his parents walked in. Saved by the parents...

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Months have passed since Finn’s injury and surgery. After that day in the recovery room, those 3 words were never mentioned again. I’m glad I didn’t say it back. I knew it couldn’t have been what he meant to say. Maybe he just meant it like a friend, at least that thought made it easier to cope with. 

I haven’t been seeing as much of him as I like. He has been back and forth to Birmingham to rehab his shoulder, he basically lives there part time now. We facetime and text, but it’s never the same as being with him in person. 

I miss him

I was scrolling through the latest list of wrestling gossip sites, trying to sort out what needed to be covered for the day, when I came across an article

WWE’s Finn Balor Spotted Out With New Girlfriend WWE Personality Cathy Kelley

My heart sunk, surely that couldn’t be true. Why wouldn't he have told me about this? 

Unfortunately, I had to confront him about this. Not because I wanted to because Lord knows that was literally the last thing I wanted to do. I had to, it’s my job. It’s not my job to barge into peoples personal lives, but it’s my job to keep them out of the media if they don’t want it out there. 

I let it go for a while. Of course, that picture and article stirred up rumors from the Balor club, but that was the only proof of anything happening for now. 

Life went on normally between Finn and me, he called me almost daily, always so cheerful when I answered. I played along not mentioning what I had seen. In part because I hoped it wasn’t real. That could have been any guy after all the picture was taken from behind. But that was just a lie I told myself to make me feel better. I knew it was him. I knew every inch of him (almost), I could spot him from behind a mile away. I just didn’t want it to be true. I was jealous.