#okay ill shut up the tags are longer than the post

[screechingfromthevoid]

Orym is giving very "I have fallen in love again and that feels like a betrayal to my dead husband" energy.

He's also giving "I care so much about my friends and I have to protect them but the love I have for one is so strong that it's distracting me AND it's not fair to the others"

Like there is so much love contained in the Orym and also so much guilt.

[everythingne]

unbothered - op81

oscar's longtime girlfriend is a ballroom dancer. fans don't like that she has to dance with other people. oscar could not give a shit what people say.

ballroom dancer!reader x oscar piastri // fc: parley and natalie

requested by @starlightdelrey (thank you darling!)

warnings/notes: rumors of cheating (no one is cheating), i know nothing about ballroom dancing other than it looks so fucking cool so take this mwah

liked by oscarpiastri, ronaniliano, hattipiastri, and others...

yourusername: thanks to all who supported us at the US National Dancesport Championships! we may not have gotten a trophy this weekend, but any weekend is good when I'm dancing with my bestie @ ronaniliano <3 (FINALLY!!! now that his ankle is no longer sprained!)

ronaniliano: in the words of my king matthew lillard: "i always come back"

⤷ yourusername: u wanna rewatch that with some post-comp ramen?

⤷ ronaniliano: yes girl lets go

⤷ user: ronan and yn's friendshippp omg

user1: congrats! welcome back to my favorite duo <3

oscarpiastri: ❤️

⤷ yourusername: omg u actually commented?

⤷ oscarpiastri: my mom told me i had to

⤷ yourusername: @ nicolepiastri have i ever said how much i love you?

⤷ nicolepiastri: yes! hundreds of times! but i never mind hearing it again from you !

hattiepiastri: how much to do a txt routine.

⤷ yourusername: i cant perform it but ill bribe ronan into making one for u

⤷ hattiepiastri: as payment, next time ur in aus ill pay for hungry jacks

liked by oscarpiastri, michealchen, ronaniliano, and others...

yourusername: nom nom nom >:) eating some gold this weekend at @ ohiostarball ! shout out to @ michealchen for the dress this weekend, i felt like a little princesss !!

michealchen: thanks for making my designs shine!

ronaniliano: the prettiest princess on the dancefloor

⤷ yourusername: awe u make me blush :)

⤷ user: uhm... flirting?? on main??

hattiepiastri: lets FUCKING GOOO!!!!!

user1: the way ronan looks at yn omg

⤷ user2: how are they not dating

⤷ user3: no they have to be

⤷ user4: but yn literally has a whole ass boyfriend of six years?

⤷ user1: guys chill they're friends ?? yn has said this before.

oscarpiastri: ❤️

⤷ user5: bro STAND UP. USE UR EYES

⤷ user1: stop being a fucking freak dude

liked by hattiepiastri, ronaniliano, oscarpiastri, and others...

yourusername: big hugs for such a big finish! double gold this weekend! thank u @ ronaniliano for everything <3

comments have been disabled for this post!

liked by landonorris, yourusername, logansargeant, and more...

oscarpiastri: she only cheats at chess (by kissing me and switching our pieces)

tagged: yourusername

comments have been limited!

landonorris: okay save some dignity here man

⤷ oscarpiastri: sorry i have the urge to flex my very awesome world champion ballroom dancer girlfriend who wins almost every event and people should respect her more and not be weird

⤷ landonorris: ur a simp

⤷ oscarpiastri: date someone and then talk to me ab being a simp

logansargeant: you can let go of her i promise she isn't going anywhere

ronanilliano: ugh u two are just perfect its unfair

carlossainz: you certainly have a way of shutting down rumors

hattiepiastri: if you guys ever break up true love is NOT real

yourusername: you're a very easy man to distract :)!

⤷ oscarpiastri: you're doing so right now

⤷ yourusername: yeah get off ur phone loser and pay attention to me :) <3

[sugarphoenixlovesfanfic]

× . bite . ×

synopsis: Dan Heng is befallen with a temporary illness that turns him into a vampire for a week. The only way to temporarily alleviate him of his bloodlust is to let him drink off of you, but as his wife can you convince him to do so? tags: f!reader, vampire Dan Heng, reader is a bit of a masochist, no smut, 1.5k words a/n: tagging @coupsworth because you suggested I write about dan heng being a vampire in this post, thank you!

ao3 link here!

[Sanguinary bats:

[A type of mammal that loves to feast on the blood of living mammals. It transmits a disease via its bites, Vampyroa, which is extremely effective on humanoid species. The disease usually takes place a week after the bite is made, and the affected grows sharp fangs and an unnatural bloodlust. There is no immediate cure for Vampyroa, however, Vampyroa often goes away after about a week within experiencing symptoms. Those who have caught the disease are advised to stay in rooms of their own, and to only consume water and red meat. Giving in to their bloodlust is ill-advised, yet drinking blood from another humanoid species does not transmit the disease or have any consequences apart from those that come with general exposure to foreign blood/blood loss on the victim’s side. In fact, the imbibing of another’s blood will sate the “vampyr” for up to a day.]

You gently push open the door to Dan Heng’s room.

It has been a week since the bat attack, and although the Astral Express crew had been prepared not to let any of the bats come into close contact with them, Dan Heng unfortunately suffered a single bite. The rest of the week from then on was spent in anxious anticipation of the “turning,” as March 7th referred to it. Dan Heng, upset by her constant use of that word, shut himself into his room entirely, only allowing you, his wife, in.

Last night, the symptoms had started to appear, as Dan Heng woke you up in a cold sweat. When you flicked the lamp on, you saw that his eyes glowed a soft red, and his canine teeth were longer than usual. He told you to sleep in another room, not wanting to put you in danger of himself. You refused, but he insisted upon it, so you let yourself be moved into another room.

Now you turn up at his door with a steak, prepared rare, and a glass of water.

“Dan Heng,” you say. “It’s me.”

“Don’t come in,” you hear him command, his voice husky.

“Too late,” you say, pushing the door open further with your foot.

You thought you had prepared yourself for seeing him, but your eyes widen at the scene laid before you.

In the dark room, you can make out Dan Heng curling on his mattress, in Vidyadhara form. It’s clear that his turning is affecting his internal balance, causing him to shift into his dragon self. His clothes are shrugging off of him, as though he was trying to shed them, exposing his skin. His long dark hair curls around him in strands and ribbons, framing his face, as he gazes blankly towards the ceiling, panting.

His eyes meet yours, and you see something else within them.

“Here’s your breakfast, Dan,” you say, setting the meat and water on his desk.

“Thank you.” Dan Heng speaks as though he’s holding back. “Now leave.”

“…Okay.”

You leave his room before he has a chance to pounce on you.

After that, Dan Heng insists on having anyone else but you deliver his next meals, so you reluctantly let Welt and Himeko deliver his lunch and dinner. At night, you peek into his room.

“Don’t come in,” he says, sensing your presence. He’s sitting in bed with a book, a single dimly lit lamp giving him only enough light to read. The rest of the room is shrouded in darkness.

“I miss you,” you say. He pauses, putting his book down and looking up at you.

“I miss you too,” he says, his tone gentle and soft.

“Why won’t you let me come to you?” you ask.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I’d never forgive myself if I did.”

You linger in the doorway for a few moments more, then make up your mind.

“There’s nothing that can keep me from you,” you say, walking into the room towards him.

Immediately he grows tense, and you can see his fangs peeking through his lips.

“Don’t come any closer,” he says, but you get on the bed next to him and wrap your arms around his chest.

“I don’t care. I wanna be here.” You shove your face into his side, savoring his warmth.

He growls, a rumble deep in his chest you haven’t heard before. When you look up at him, his eyes and horns are glowing, his eyes red.

“If you stay at my side like this, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to hold myself back, darling.”

“What will happen if you don’t?” you ask.

“To put it simply… your blood looks tantalizing.” Dan Heng licks his lips. You gulp, feeling blood rush to your cheeks. “It’s hard enough for me to hold myself back from everyone else, but you…you entice me like no other.”

Dan Heng breathes softly, his gaze on you heated. “You know…it might be better if you let me drink from you.” Immediately, he puts a hand on his mouth and turns away, as though horrified at what he said. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, intrigued.

“If I drink blood from someone,” Dan Heng says, his horns gently illuminating the walls a soft blue, “my hunger would be sated for about a day.”

There’s a pause as you consider this information.

“So, you’re saying that I would be helping you by letting you drink my blood.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t—”

“I’ll do it.”

Dan Heng widens his eyes at you, and you can see a dark hunger gleaming within them.

“You would?”

“Yes. It’s not like you need to drink all my blood, right…?”

“No, no, I don’t require that much.” Dan Heng reaches for you, then stops himself. “I can’t.”

“You can. I give you permission.” You take his hand in yours and he grips onto it almost painfully. “Besides, I’m a little curious.”

“Curious?”

“As to how it would feel.” You grin at him. “I mean. It would probably feel similar to all the other times you sank your teeth into my neck.”

Dan Heng is too focused on your neck to notice the innuendo you made. He runs his tongue against his fangs as he drills holes into you with his eyes, looking a bit dazed.

“So, you’ll let me?” he asks after a pause. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes.” You bare your neck to him with a smile.

Dan Heng’s reaction is instant, one arm wrapping around your chest to pull you closer, while his other hand comes up to grip your neck, steadying it. He brings his face close to your neck, pauses for a moment, then begins licking it. You shudder at the sensation, preparing yourself for what comes next.

Then, delicately, ever so gently, he buries his face into your neck and sinks his teeth in, the twin points sharp enough that you only felt a twinge of pain. You could feel as blood pooled out of you and onto his waiting tongue, constantly lapping and picking up any wayward droplets.

The act feels intimate in a way you had yet to encounter, and your eyelids flutter at the sensation of teeth and muscle working together. You wrap your arms around his body, one hand cradling the back of his head as he drinks from you like a man starved. And then, almost as soon as he had started, he pulls away, giving your neck a few last licks before the puncture holes are sealed. You notice the look in his eyes are clearer now, and he looks a little healthier than when you found him.

“Do you feel better now?” you ask.

“Much, much better.” Dan Heng sighs, a sound of relief and contentment.

“I hope this doesn’t give you a taste for blood after your sickness wears off,” you say, and giggle at the look of horror on his face. “Don’t worry, that’s not a side effect you have to worry about. Welt told me about it.”

Dan Heng looks at you, narrowing his eyes.

“You…knew. About the blood drinking.” he says, realization dawning in his eyes.

“Well…I can’t say it wasn’t my intention tonight to get you to quench your thirst off me.” You grin, having been caught.

“Wh-why—” Dan Heng starts, then stops himself. “Nevermind, I know why. You’re a masochist.”

“I just wanted to make you feel better!” you protest.

Dan Heng gazes into your eyes, his stern expression melting into a gentle smile.

“I know.”

“The masochism might have played a teensy weensy little part in my decision as well.”

“I know.”

“I love you.” You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his chest.

“I love you too,” he says, stroking your head gently. “Always.”

“We will be doing this until you’re cured, by the way,” you say.

“Not if I have any say about it,” Dan Heng huffs.

“You don’t,” you say, smiling.

Your dragon husband lets out a resigned breath, but you can tell he’s relieved by how far you’re willing to go for him.

dividers by @cafekitsune

comments and reblogs appreciated!

[ivestas]

Hello. I saw your post and would you be up for doing a bit on a reader who cares little about themselves but cares deeply for the team?

love deterrence

Summary: You care about the 141 more than yourself to a worrisome degree. 

Tags: platonic!141 x soldier!fem!reader, mentally ill reader (implied), headcanon format, reader implied to be young, unedited

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: ANON... THE MOMENT I SAW THIS I DROPPED EVERYTHING. the requests I get r always top tier, BUT THIS IS S +. also my bad for this being price/soap/ghost-centric, theyre the characters im most confident in writing---and, also also, SEND REQUESTS. you guys are so slay w reqs its actually insane

You were a soldier—a good one at that. 

Thorough in your assignments, fearless on the field, and reliable. Truly, it’s something any enlister would seek out. 

That was Price’s initial thoughts—everyone else’s, really. You liked to get shit done and you were determined to always, always see through a mission’s completion. 

It was a trait that, at first, wasn’t noticeable, but it intensified the longer you stayed with the 141. 

Many things increased the longer you were with them: you went from formal to friendly, quiet to outspoken, frigid to warm... you grew comfortable. They each took notice in their own way—with Soap being the one to constantly reciprocate and encourage in his own way; despite his loud character, he was subtle in pushing you out of your bubble.

Even Ghost encouraged you... in his own way. 

“You look like you wanna say something, spit it out, kid.” 

It was hard not to warm up to them, and vice versa; the team was as tightly knit as they come, and you could confidently say that you’d trust your life in their hands...

...but, you’d much rather they worry about you last.

And that was when Ghost was the first to notice your recklessness on the field when it came to them; the moment you heard one of them was in danger, you’d be quick to finish the area in such a careless manner and rush to them—and many, many times he’d berate you about it. 

“Kid, when I tell you to stay put, you stay put.”

“But—“

“No fuckin’ ‘buts’, you shut up and listen, understand?!” 

“...yes sir.” 

But you always disobeyed. At one point, Ghost demanded Price to put you on temporary leave because of how worrisome it was getting—you’d listen to every single order and follow through in quick succession, but the moment it came to your safety, you just..?

And that’s when it clicked to Ghost: you didn’t care. It was their lives over yours, and something about that just pissed him off. 

(Maybe it was because he understood the feeling, and he hated knowing that you felt it too. You were young, you shouldn’t feel that way—not now, not ever.)

Price would catch on later around the same time Soap did—although the two certainly weren’t dumb, it’s just the mere fact that they didn’t understand the way Ghost did—they’ve had their mental pitfalls, but not the abject depression that pushes one to feel so little about themselves. 

They’d find out much later—you’ve become sneakier in protecting them, something that Ghost still catches from time to time but can’t butt in since you were so damn clever with it—and it was when an enemy tossed a bomb in your and Soap’s direction that your nature dawned on him. 

You were quick to toss the bomb back, and not only did you do that, but you shielded him from the blast by throwing yourself onto him despite the fact you were smaller than he. 

Luckily, the blast didn’t harm you, only leaving you with a few scrapes and ringing ears. 

But, the moment he got back up on his feet, you were fretting.

“You okay, Soap? You’re not hurt, are you—?!” 

“Lass, worry about yourself, I’m fine!” 

“Are you sure?” 

It was like talking to a brick wall: terribly frustrating.

Price, having been a few feet away and had shielded from the blast, saw the spectacle and almost laughed. 

It was ridiculous to him—you threw yourself, but you’re worrying about the muscle-bound soldier? 

He didn’t like soldiers who tried to play hero—especially soldiers who were hardly grown. Especially soldiers who seemed to lack care for themselves.

So, Price would start sneaking in sentiments of care: complimenting you outside the field, (”You made that, sergeant? Great job, it looks wonderful.”) trying to hear you communicate your own interests, things about you. 

Soap already does that, and Ghost soon follows too, though slowly. He wasn’t good at praising—his compliments were always so awkward, no better than his fucked up jokes that he cracked at the worst times. 

Price always made sure to give you the best cots, Ghost would give you a portion of his food because...

“I’m watching my weight.”

“What?” 

“You heard me, sergeant. I’m watching my weight.” 

“...you’re literally a soldier—“

“Just eat the food kid, don’t make me repeat myself.” 

Soap was the only direct one—the other two didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for you, but Soap was, well... Soap. 

“Look, kid, lass, you need to start lookin’ out for yerself.” 

“I am already, don’t worry—“

“You stood in front of Price when you thought there was an enemy sniper.” 

“He’s the captain! I gotta protect him!” 

“You could’ve just told him—listen, I don’t like using threats, that’s the L.T’s thing, not mine, but if you continue to treat your arse like a meatshield, I’m gonna make sure you’re put on leave again, okay?” 

It becomes a struggle after that: you felt overwhelming guilt for feeling guilt, for being ‘selfish’, or feeling guilty for taking risky actions in order to protect them because you know they’ll feel bad. 

It’s a perpetual struggle that you didn’t know what to do about, and it’s at the worst time you broke down. 

You and Ghost were cleaning up the mess hall since Soap won a bet against him, and when you picked up an extra plate more than Ghost, you began overthinking.

Was this gonna piss off Ghost? Were you going to make him feel bad? Were you doing this for yourself or for him? Why did you do that—should you give him the plate? What should you do? What’s the right thing?

As much as the guys tried to ease your mind, I think they did the opposite: and, at that moment, you couldn’t stop the tears.

That made you even guiltier, especially when Ghost noticed. 

But, all he said was “talk.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, and with that allowance, you spoke. 

It was incoherent: a babbling mess of “sorrys” and admissions of guilt for shit he didn’t even know one could feel guilty for—you shook, moments would jump where you would collect yourself for a few seconds before bursting once more. 

Taking the dishes from your hands, he set them back on the table and engulfed you in an awkward but strong hug. He didn’t trust himself to say anything right, but he hoped—prayed—that you knew the sentiments. 

And you did—you reciprocated immediately, burying your face into his bulletproof vest; heaving, shaking, breaking. 

He was then at a crossroads: you were unstable. Guilt like that—this faux selflessness that was really something more tragic—it only leads to one thing, a thing he couldn’t bring himself to name. 

So, the same night when he was sure you were asleep, he went straight to Price. 

“Sir.” 

“Yes, Ghost?” 

“The kid—she can’t stay. She needs to see a professional.” 

Price sighed. “You don’t think I’m tryin’? Been trying to reach a psychologist—therapist—whomever. Laswell’s said she’s workin’ on it, so we’ll see.”

“But she can’t stay, this type of job, it’s not good for her mind.” 

“That’s up to her. You can’t just kick someone out—it’s ain’t that simple.” 

Ghost opened his mouth, ready to spit back, but Price cut in, stern. “It’s up to her. I’ll make sure she sees a professional at least bi-weekly, but you can’t force a leave on her.” 

Ghost settled with that, though not completely satisfied. 

When you eventually do see a professional, you get a little better—you recognize the patterns, the triggers, the reasons. It’s easier to dissemble the mess that your mind is and just understand. 

Although you’re a little more careful now, more thoughtful about your own body, there’s always a level of protection you place on them that they know is irremovable: it’s care. 

And they reflect that care right back at you, both in and out of the field. 

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[existslikepristin]

Okay, I did it tonight instead of tomorrow morning. Thanks @worldsover for even thinking this quickie was worth the edit, lol

Tags: TheLounge, IDLE, Shuhua x Gender-unspecified reader, bathroom fingerings, hey yall sometimes you don't know what's going on in someone's head no matter how close you think you are to them goddammit is this just because of feelings?... I'll be posting something funnier relatively soon, that last tag is longer than this whole fic wow

Escape from Paboland

Shuhua braced herself against the walls you had her cornered in. It seemed somehow incredibly familiar, as if you’d seen it before in that dreamy, non-specific way. How she curled her toes was new, though, as was how she scrunched her eyes shut, like someone trying too hard to concentrate. If she was concentrating on her impending orgasm, you'd understand. It would definitely rock her body soon, and she wasn’t getting it anywhere else during promotions.

Her rocking body? Yeah, that was it.

Why the deja vu, though? You were sure you'd have remembered fingering Shuhua in a TV station bathroom. It wasn't exactly a common activity.

You felt a shudder. It seemed like a good time to make a vaguely snarky remark. “Sweet relief on it’s w—”

Faster than a cobra strike, Shuhua pulled you in. It wasn't for a kiss. Your face was engulfed by her cleavage.

"Shhh. Shhh!" Shuhua hissed her disapproval.

The stage outfits for that comeback were extremely flattering, regardless of how little of Shuhua's skin they showed. Of course, she'd yanked the top down earlier to try to cool off, but it was too tight and she'd wound up with the neckline cutting across her chest and making the top half of her tits bulge out like an ill-fitted corset.

You saw no reason to complain, and your silence seemed to get Shuhua ever closer to the climax she was apparently denied by your voice.

Shuhua mumbled and strained, like she had something on her mind that she was struggling to put into words. "F-ck... S..." 

You diligently continued your attack on her G-spot, wondering if she'd finish a sentence at some point, or even a word.

"FUCK, YES!" She screamed in direct response to your thought, regretfully close to your ears.

You may not have distinctly recalled fingering Shuhua in a TV station bathroom before, but you had the experience to know she was more of a gusher. So her clenching (but only moderately moist) orgasm was a little unexpected.

With no pomp and certainly no circumstance, Shuhua collapsed to the floor. It was a good thing the place was kept so clean.

She looked happy, at least. "Feeling better, Shuhua?" is apparently the question you shouldn't have asked. Her smile faded, and when she opened her eyes, the look she gave you was some mix of disgust and disappointment. It was entirely unclear what you did wrong.

"Um... want to head out, then?"

"No. I'm good."

"Can I bring you something? Water?"

"I'm good. Thanks. See ya."

You paused, but it didn't seem prudent to stick around. Leaving Shuhua on the floor in the corner felt as weird as one might expect.

[theodora3022]

Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises! 

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover. 

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.  

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story. 

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle. 

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him?  Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday. 

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after. 

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

[bakugohoex]

reader confronting katsuki about his anger issues and how he bullies deku too much and they scream "don't u wanna be a hero?!" or smth like that and it strikes a nerve but also makes him Sad bc he wanna be a hero don't call him a villain :((

“you’ll never be a fucking hero if you keep acting like a dick to midoriya”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: language, bit of angst bit of fluff

word count: 1400+

a/n: hey guys, hope you enjoy this little headcanon thingy i dont know what it’s called lmao

summary:  in which after seeing bakugo continue his bullying with midoriya, you take it upon yourself to stick up for the boy and bakugo get’s a lot more than he expected, finally realising that his act cannot go on for any longer

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Another day, another Bakugo shouting at Midoriya.

You could see in Midoriya’s eyes how much he looked up to the boy, you may have only known the two for a couple months now but seeing Bakugo scream at the boy again.

It was too much, the anger in explosions, the way Midoriya tried to hold him back.

He was extra pissed today and was taking it out on the green haired boy.

Being close friends with the boy, the shouting of Bakugo had made your instincts act out.

You left your own partner, Kirishima, and marched past everybody. They could all see your own anger; you were going to protect the boy and they were not going to stand in your way.

You grabbed Bakugo’s collar and this boy was in shock, nobody had ever done something like this.

His actions stopped as you dragged him out kicking and shouting for you to let go of him.

“Y/n, what the fuck? Don’t fucking ever do that shit again?” He scowled outside of the training rooms.

You tapped your foot lightly, but you were pissed, fucking annoyed even. He looked angry at you but kept it under wraps. If someone was to analysis Bakugo they would realise how he had a soft spot for you after both of you fought against each other at the spots festival. Hell he even remembered your name and quirk, he may have been nicer to you but his anger that he had suppressed for you needed to be let out somehow.

“Bakugo, you’re going to listen to me, oh so help me God, I will make you look like an idiot inside.” He took a sharp breathe only nodding at how easily you had shut down his frustrations.

“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at? Leave Midoriya the fuck alone, you don’t need to be so fucking rude to the boy. You might think it makes you look all powerful but all I see is a bully.” You took your own deep breath, “you’ll never be a fucking hero if you keep acting like a dick to Midoriya.”

He stood taking it all, all the anger you felt from how he acted towards the boy, he took it all in. The last thing he had ever wanted was to hear the words you had said and worst of all, it was you who had said it. The girl who had nearly beat him, the girl who had always been so kind and nice to those around her. The girl he had almost become infatuated with, you were the one shouting at him, telling him he was the one in the wrong.

“Get a fucking grip, Bakugo.” With the final words you left him speechless outside, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. But anger filled him, the sound of his explosions arose from behind you, but you didn’t turn around shaking your head to let him have his tantrum.

You had spent time with him, even studied with him. He never acted the way he acted to Midoriya to you, he always seemed nice and a lot calmer. But watching how hurt Midoriya looked, it hurt you to see your friend upset.

“You don’t get to fucking say shit Y/n.” You stopped in your steps, you were half way inside before his words caught up to you. He was shouting at you, his eyes filled with sadness, you were close enough to see it. But the rest of the class who were watching the scene could only see anger.

“Bakugo…”

“No, Y/n, you can’t say that shit and leave like that.” His voice seemed weaker and his arms may have been out towards you. But no yellow explosions were coming out from it, he just had anger within him. He hated you protecting the young Midoriya, but he knew that you shouldn’t care as much, that you had never stopped him before. So why now?

You didn’t meet his gaze, instead looking to the side, “fucking look at me.” Your eyes flickered to his own and he was about to speak when a much angrier Aizawa stomped towards you. He looked pissed at the two of you not training.

“You two stop talking now.”

“Yes sir.” You both spoke in unison, before you left to go back to Kirishima.

The words had repeated through Bakugo’s head since the encounter outside, he respected you for saying what you said. To stand up to him, but he could see how it had ruined your friendship.

Whenever you’d be in the elevator going up to your rooms, you’d stay on your phone, refusing to talk to him, or if you both were waiting for Aizawa to come in. You’d leave your seat behind him and go talk to Midoriya or Todoroki, he hated it so much.

This is how he ended up doing something entirely rash and a lot more unexpected. It was the end of the day and you were about to leave to go back to the dorms. A hand had grabbed your wrist however, “Y/n.”

Bakugo’s voice was hesitant, but you turned to meet his gaze. He let go of you, scratching the back of his head before speaking again, “I want to prove to you that I am he…hero material, so just umm wait here.”

You were hesitant at first, but you stayed outside, you noticed him walk towards Midoriya who at the sight of seeing Bakugo looked timider than ever. Bakugo gestured you to come over, which you did waiting to see what he’d say to the young boy, “I…I’m sorry.”

Midoriya looked more confused than ever, “are you ill Kacchan?” Midoriya began to try to inspect Bakugo’s face.

“Let go me stupid nerd.” He got out of Midoriya’s way and looked at you.

“An apology won’t just fix a relationship Bakugo.” You had not been impressed with what you had seen, and you wanted to hear more.

“Okay, okay.” Bakugo looked back at Midoriya, “we’ve never been friends and I know we never will.”

You stared blankly at what he had said, that was not a good start, “but I shouldn’t have put all my anger on you, to be honest, all the niceness I give to y/n, I have left over anger that needed to go somewhere. It shouldn’t have been to you, I’m not trying to be nice to you, I’m still 100% better than you and your little nerdy friends but I won’t put the excess anger I have onto you.”

“Okay.” Midoriya had grown over the months, he didn’t need Bakugo’s approval for anything, he had grown to have other friends. Move past the boy from his childhood and you were glad about that.

Bakugo came to meet your gaze again, “yeah, yeah we’re fine now.” He grinned at you walking with you back to the dorms. “So what’s this about being nice to just me.”

“Shut up shitty woman.” He growled as you laughed.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be nice to me.” You pouted to the boy.

“Y/n.” He stopped you in your tracks, even with the acceptance he had gotten back from you, he was still upset about what you had said. “About me not being her…”

You interrupted him, touching his cheek. “It was rash, and I shouldn’t have said it.” You smiled up to the boy, your thumb caressing his face, “you’ll be an amazing pro hero one day and you’ll protect us all.”

“Even you.”

You laughed at his statement, “only if I’m in trouble, but I doubt I will be.” Just as you had let go of his face, he grabbed your arm bringing you closer.

Your faces only a mere inch apart from one another, he had bent down to reach your face. And he was happy, content even, he hated having you ignore him. Having you shut him down every time he tried to talk to you, but you had given him another chance and he was taking it.

His lips finally reached yours and you gave a low whisper, “do it future number one hero.” The command was all he needed to encase his lips against your own. The softness between one another and warmth that the boy brought was filled in the lustful kiss, his tongue guiding your own and the heavy breathes you both took after. It had been careless but soft and he had even more of a reason to become the number one pro hero and that was you.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore @answer-the-sirens @animexholic

[rpbetter]

Hi! How do you distinguish between a mun who has favorites but still treats their non favorites with respect, and a mun who has favorites but uses this as an excuse to disrespect everyone else? Sometimes it's hard for me to tell, and I'd love to hear what you think.

Hey, Anon! That's actually a great question.

It's also totally reasonable to have a hard time telling. When you feel like you might be a little more into the threads than the other mun is, no matter how much they're being respectful and caring, it can still feel a bit...lame. We all want to be a favorite writing partner, even as we know that's impossible, that we can't manage that ourselves. It's not a thing of logic!

I feel like I should probably preface the detailing I'm about to do - this is only my experience. There are always variables in anything dealing with other people, and any time we're already feeling down, it's really easy to see things in a way that might not be the reality.

Alright, then.

Muns who use this as an excuse or justification for what they're doing tend to be the ones that:

are likely to pair the excuse/justification with aggressively vilifying anyone who takes issue with their treatment of them for being too serious about RP/too emotionally invested in anything from friendships to ships/otherwise "not realizing it's just a hobby" - apparently, "hobby" actually means "you're not making a dollar, so, do whatever you want in whatever way you want, so long as it's making you and only you happy and comfortable," who knew?

will lead muns on, either because they're uncomfortable with telling those who are not the favorites that...well, they're not the favorites and they might wish to just drop the threads or because...

they have a bit of a habit of going through favorites/their favorites take frequent breaks or are slower to reply, and it's good to have other muns around for when either situation happens - it's okay if everyone else is bored and/or left out, but not them

become angry and defensive if you ask them about your thread(s) and/or if everything is alright after a reasonable period of inactivity only on your threads*

if they previously had OOC contact and/or a friendship with you, it's one pole or another of OOC behavior with you now - no contact/as little as they can possibly manage or they'll proceed like you also only want to have conversations about what is going on with the favorite(s), the ships, the threads, the fandom, the mun. Before anyone misconstrues this to mean that "so, no matter what they do it's sus lol," no. There is such a thing as neither insulting someone by having nothing else to talk about except the mun/muse/ship you're ignoring them for nor just stopping/avoiding conversation altogether. It's actually not normal or acceptable to treat people like disposable fixations or expect them to be thrilled or lie about it when you can't shut up about their replacement(s)

in general, if this mun just keeps making it apparent that neither you nor anyone else exists unless they're the favored mun? That's really it. That's the difference between having favorites and still treating other muns with respect - there isn't any respect, none of you exist to respect

*I'm not going to speak to what is reasonable to everyone, it's one of those things I think muns should mention to some degree in their rules, but with people taking it to mean things it doesn't, it's doubtful that's going to happen. (I encourage it, though, please, put in your rules when you'll ask about threads or if you'll assume there is no more interest and they've been dropped. "After one month of no reply and no OOC contact, I will either contact you to ask if you're still interested." No big deal!) For me, it would depend on the mun themselves, even if I've got in my rules that after x time, I will assume y. If this is a mun that has updated OOC that they're extra slow right now, and they're usually pretty slow, I'm going to just see that as them prioritizing preferred partners with what little time they have, that's not coming across as rude favoritism to me at that point. If it's a mun that has continued to reply as normal, posted no updates OOC, and they're specifically just replying to one or two favorites with that regular timing, I'm going to ask if they're still interested after a month or so.

The problem always is that, despite what the RPC likes to say for the same damn reason, we're all afraid to be acting on ridiculous suspicion and paranoia. We get treated a certain way, maybe it is once and it was just extremely bad, maybe it has happened over and over again, and we really do start seeing phantoms of ill-treatment. It becomes difficult to trust your own judgment and listen to your inner voice (one that, furthermore, is already at least a bit embattled by life on and offline).

These are only some points to help you trust yourself or disprove yourself if you already feel like there might be this problem going on.

If you have someone who could be impartial when given evidence, you might want to consider asking if they'd mind helping you identify if this is a problem or not. Don't mention mun names or even muses if you're in the same intersections of the RPC, you're not trying to smear anyone here, just get a different viewpoint that isn't touched by any negative or positive feelings about that mun!

I said "evidence," so, I want to be clear that I did not mean screenshots or direct quotes. Give situations, what the mun is and is not doing, as both are important.

Some questions that might help you identify things to present to a third party for help:

Are they replying to any of your threads, how about asks?

If/when they reply to you IC, how do they reply? Is it shorter than it used to be, unenthusiastic? Or is it the same, just fewer and farther between, or less interesting to you than what they're doing with preferred partners?

Are the plots they're doing with the favorite(s) ones that you previously had with them or that you had plotted out and were working toward? And if that answer is yes, are these common plots that can be applied anywhere or specific ones?

Is this all something that is perhaps temporary overexcitement, or has this just kept going on for months, shows no sign of stopping?

Did you speak/were friends OOC? If so, how has this changed? Frequency of messaging, topics of conversation, enthusiasm, interest in you or your muse?

Are you now left out of games on the dash in which you used to be tagged, or unwelcome in things like "dash crack?" Is it, by contrast, that you might be welcome in the latter, but either it doesn't interest you by inclusion/focus of the favorite or because you lack a base of engagement with what's going on?

Do they send you memes, has that changed at all?

The way you feel is valid, but it might also be influencing the way you're viewing a situation, including in how you relate it to someone else for help. So, try to stick to actions when doing so.

By contrast, muns who have favorites but are not using this to justify being disrespectful to others tend to:

be open and upfront about having favorites and why - they're not trying to hide anything, including what makes their favorite writing partners, threads, and ships favorites to begin with

^they are not "open and upfront" by obnoxiously reminding everyone constantly who those favorites are, they're not shit posting how @munthatisntyou is their bestie/their muse is lusting after their muse/actually my wife. They are upfront about it by stating in their rules they can, will, and do have favorites. They're open about it by not lying or acting like it's the worst accusation ever when someone asks them about it

definitely have priority threads, might have an easier, thus faster, time responding to questions/prompts regarding those threads/ships, but still respond with equal interest to memes from others*

the same is true of interest and turnaround time with thread replies, they might get the preferred ones out faster, but they're still replying to everyone and still keeping other muns updated on what's going on*

will not be hostile when approached by fair, politely put concerns about threads, but rather, will respond with honesty as to their interests - whether they have, indeed, changed or haven't alike

they still express the same interest OOC outside of messages, liking and commenting on posts, sending memes, and being concerned or congratulatory when they see OOC posts dealing with life events

in general, muns who just have favorites like everyone does remain aware of others in the same way they always have, still make efforts to respond to threads, memes, messages, etc. with the same interest they always have - they appreciate everyone they interact with, not only their favorite(s)

*Everyone has a different way that works for them, and that influences their meme answering, thread replying, and OOC response turnaround time. A very social mun might respond to OOC messages more frequently, reliably, and with more zeal than a mun who is less socially active, forgetful, or dealing with different difficulties that might prevent doing so, for example. As another example, a mun who writes lengthy, detailed novella that takes a while to finish is going to take longer with everyone than a mun who writes in a way, or just has more time to write, that allows for replies to get out faster. Please, keep expectations and observances mindful of these factors and differences! What is typical of one mun might be perceived as legitimate favoritism when contrasted with a mun who operates differently than them.

That's really the difference, there is recognition and appreciation of everyone. They might have a visibly different friendship with their favorite(s), but it doesn't come with the cost of treating everyone else either like they don't exist or like total shit. And that comes in many ways, as many ways as there are possible interactions in the RPC. From being casual mutuals who do not write together (still acknowledging posts etc.) to outright writing partners (still giving replies with as much effort and quality).

You can think of muns like this as you would people who have different sorts of friendships as opposed to people who have rather cliquey friendships in which it's often enough a clique of two in which everyone else, even if included or otherwise used by those two, only exists out of necessity. The former is a normal social situation, we get on well with the people we do for a reason, and that's perfectly alright. The latter is some immature and self-interested behavior one should have grown out of in junior high.

As you didn't ask for this, I'm putting it under the cut as additional advice for others!

If you feel like someone is being disrespectful, or worse, and is glossing it over with "it's okay for people to have favorites, calm down" (a thing that's totally true but not meant to be used to excuse shitty behavior), you really do want to just remove yourself from the situation. In a situation like that, you're not going to change their behavior, and even if you did, are you ever going to be able unsee it?

What is more likely to happen is you'll be growing the seed of upset they planted into a big tree of animosity. Every time you are on your dash and see them replying or tagging their favorite(s), you're going to be either hurt or angry. Eventually, it's impossible to separate which of those things you are, and it's increasingly likely you're going to say or do something regrettable. And I mean regrettable in how it is likely to negatively affect you. You don't deserve to be branded a terrible person for an outburst. The situation has been bad enough.

Whether you should soft block to unfollow and force an unfollow, hard block, unfollow with or without communication is all subject to too many variables for me to advise any single course of action.

If it's possible to communicate politely that you're officially dropping threads or unfollowing, I will always advise doing so. If that isn't possible because this mun has been that terrible, or has proven in the past that they will react badly to such communications, then so be it, just quietly remove yourself from their presence.

You owe friends, even former ones if they've not done you awfully, the decency of communicating that you're ending things. You owe mutuals who haven't done anything more than ignoring you (as awful as that is, it's not as bad as being aggressively disrespectful, lying to you, leading you on, etc.) that decency and maturity as well. You do not owe anyone who has behaved like an immature ass that decency, it's okay to just leave in those cases. As it is in situations when you feel confident that speaking to them is going to cause drama for you.

When a mun hasn't ever really interacted with you, you've become mutuals, but it never went anywhere because they were already engaged in ignoring everyone except the favorite(s), it's alright to just leave quietly, too. They clearly don't register that you exist, so...don't exist. Go exist around muns who know you're there. But the caveat to that should be that if they decide to notice your vacant spot on the dash and come to you to ask about this, you should answer them. Be honest, but polite. Tell them that you just didn't see working out with them after all, and since you hadn't interacted, you unfollowed.

You never know (you just shouldn't count on it), in that latter case especially, that mun might honestly not be aware of the effect of their actions. Like everyone else, they're just doing what they enjoy, what makes them happy is what they're concentrated on, and might genuinely just have a narrow field of vision on it until spoken to.

Whatever is right for the unique situation at hand, don't lie to someone if they message you about it. Don't just act like it was an accidental unfollow or a tumblr glitch, grit your teeth, and add them back so that there is no unpleasantness. There is already unpleasantness if you felt the need to distance yourself from them, remember that!

[wxlfbites]

Pillars of the Community

(I hope it's okay to tag; if not please let me know)

After coming across @lunastre-draconis's post about the elitism within the alterhuman community I want to open up a discussion about the personal responsibility some of us have for re-enforcing the idea that there is a hierarchy here. Go check out that post, here.

Because I have not consumed every bit of information on the history of this community, I can only speak to what I have seen and experienced so far. I know that, specifically, the otherkin community has built up a social structure which encourages its members to compete for "top dog" rather than strive for development, comprehension and acceptance of the self. For a good majority of us, our objective is to move up the ladder and be rewarded for our knowledge and contribution. I am no exception.

I came into the otherkin community with the hope of finding other people like me, but I quickly got caught up in the competition of things; a competition I didn't even really acknowledge I was a part of until recently. By the end of 2015, I had secured a position as a well-known member over on Instagram. A small corner of the commmunity, but for many reasons, - some of which are unrelated to alterhumanity entirely - this gave me a high. It was a big deal to me. I had a little over 11,000 followers, I was receiving dozens of messages and comments a day asking for my advice, calling me an inspiration, I had people sending me gifts and letters in the mail even when I protested it, I was bullied and held to unimaginable standards. And it all fueled the fire of my ego and trauma. It made me feel important and superior. I never wanted to admit that to myself, let alone to others, I refused to accept that I had developed thoughts of grandeur; even denying it publicly when people would accuse me of it.

I was never as "big" as many others in the community across the whole of the internet, but that little piece of recognition and appreciation was intoxicating enough to warp my mind into perceiving others as my inferiors; children I needed to teach and guide so that one day they could reach my level. I became a horrible person and there is no excuse for it. It was never my intention, but I took advantage of the community in order to feel better about myself. I made the mistake of letting the competition within the community get to my head and convince me that I was more influential than I was.

I will not blame my trauma, but I do think it's important to recognize that this kind of "notoriety" can be addicting to someone who has spent their entire life only knowing abuse and negative social interaction; especially when they get catapulted into it at a young age. I was just a 16 year old kid struggling with mental illness and a bunch of people, some even older than me, were putting me on a pedestal for simply existing as a non-human and knowing more than they did. It seemed impossible to resist. All this is not to same I am blameless. I am absolutely responsible for the way I allowed any amount of attention to shape my self-righteous attitude. I am responsible for refusing to acknowledge my own behavior even when others pointed it out to me. I am responsible for contributing to the elitism running rampant in the alterhuman community. I am responsible for holding an elitist mindset and looking down upon my peers. I am responsible for feeding into the narrative that anyone within this community, or any community, is better or more worthy of praise than anyone else. I am responsible for encouraging others to look at me in a way that would benefit me but not the whole of my community.

This is not what the alterhuman community is about. Holding people above the rest for any reason does not serve this community. In fact, it can be catastrophic to it; as we've seen even just recently with the LycanTheory situation. The focus of this community has been in the wrong place for many years, the dream to become a "greymuzzle" has far out-shadowed the desire to understand ones own identity better. Community members see no value in their experiences if they can not use them to climb higher up the ladder. They feel that knowledge is power over others rather than power within themselves. There are no discussions, only debates used to gain respect and agreement. There is no room for growth, only strict definitions that are heavily guarded; no one in or out. Reputations matter more than internal phenomena's. Annihilating those who disagree, deviate from the typical, or ask questions holds precedent and is done for ones own benefit within the community. Because we just love seeing older, more respected and educated members shut down and discourage the less than.

If all that doesn't scream failure, I don't know what does. I have known for a while that our community is in a state of peril and chaos. I have seen it become a place I no longer call home. It frightens me. And even more so because I helped it get there.

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

oooh could you do protective headcanons for the golden deer too??🥺

{I most certainly can. Y’all know I love these tropes so keep ‘em coming. Hope it’s to your liking! :3}

Claude: 

6/10

Neutral, with just a tad bit of nerves. 

Look. Claude has bigger fish to fry than what you’re gallivanting on about during the day. The man has a dream to catch with literally a country and 1/3 (woot woot alliance) on his shoulders. 

First, the future. Then, you. Can’t have a life together if there is no place for it to be had, yeah? 

This doesn’t mean that he never worries about you. Quite the contrary, if he begins then he can’t stop. So he doesn’t tinker the thought. 

Instead he has his most trusted allies at your back. During the Academy days you were left under Hilda’s watchful eye, and during the war you are always nearby (courtesy of matchmaker Prof.Byleth) 

Once he puts a ring on it you’ll have guards. No problem. 

He also trusts your own capabilities. One doesn’t train every day to walk out with nothing  

Also

You make me laugh if you think Claude believes you’ll ever cheat on him 

Not that he’s cocky okay, maybe a bit  but no one would dare put the moves on “The Master Tactician’s” s/o

Any suitor coming your way is peasant fodder. If not to him, than to your own personal retaliation. 

Yupp, nothing to worry about. You’ve got it covered. He’ll only step in if you physically come ask him 

and with a bit of teasing he’ll comply 

However, Claude is very sensitive to illness for obvious reasons. This is why he’s listed at a six. He always insists on tasting your food

It was a gimmick at first, and in the beginning he’d make banter to sneak a bite while you remain all unknowing of his true intentions 

He’ll be damned if someone ever poisons you. They won’t ever get the chance

Ignatz: 

9/10

Let us face it. Iggy is a worry-wart.

He freaks out over the most minuscule of situations. The poor lad nearly gets a heart attack at least once a day 

And no, i’m not just referring to his pre-timeskip self. Ignatz may have grown a head taller, got a backbone, fancy harem artist pants--but no, he did not lose his inner anxious zealot. That trait will cling until the day he dies sadly 

Having you at his side only makes things worse (in a good way. The trouble is worth it to him) 

Especially if you’re more of the risky sort. Expect him to mother hen if you cause ruckus around the monastery. He can and will lecture you to death (only to apologize and hide away after)

Now not only does he worry about his own issues, but also yours. I swear Ignatz acts like you are his second being. If someone scolds you, hurts you, etc. he acts like they did it to him 

Can be a bit dramatic, not gonna lie. He gets so worked up that his ears go red. Like, you can just t e l l he’s holding so much back because he doesn’t want to go too far

Don’t even get me started on if someone tries to make a move on you 

He becomes t o r n. It isn’t his place to tell you who to hang around, but ohmygodwhatifyourealizeheisn’tgoodenough 

iggy no, bad iggy. don’t think like that

He feels threatened so easily and not many would peg him the jealous type. He is, but hides it very well. 

If need be he will talk out his feelings with you. That’s something noteworthy of Ignatz: he uses his words. He may find communicating such thoughts aloud difficult, but if he truly is concerned then he will be honest with you.  

Raphael: 

10/10

Raphael believes in trust. He expects you to be honest and to not keep anything important secret. In return he’ll do the same. 

This is why he doesn’t care if someone is flirting. He could give less of a thought on gossip, rumors, or anything really. That effort can go towards training 

He truly, honest to Sothis, trusts you with all his heart. There isn’t any time to spend doing otherwise. Raph just wants to live happily and that means having you by his side 

Nor does he feel intimidated by anyone else either. I’m not saying that he reeks of resolved confidence, but Raph believes that you love him. Love topples any mindless flirting that other people throw your way 

but let’s get one thing straight 

If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, tries to hurt you 

This guy’s having them for b r e a k f a s t. Pounded, sliced, and Smoked. The same way he liked his bacon. 

You are his family. Raphael protects his family, and those he cares about. 

You will never be alone. Goddess if you cry and someone else is the cause then he will take action. One fault of Raph is that while he’s a sweetie, he doesn’t think before acting a lot. Similar to Caspar, he just goes for it 

It takes a lot to get underneath Raph’s skin. 

In short: do not f*ck with his loved ones. He would take on Nemisis himself mono-e-mono if it meant protecting them 

Lorenz: 

8/10

Y’all going to sit there and try to convince me that Lorenz Hellman Gloucester doesn’t try to establish dominance? 

Key word: try

He’s quickly shut down

“Lorenz if you tell one more person that we’re betrothed, I swear that I’ll shave off your eyebrows” - You, one month post-confession 

Saying that you’re his perfect match is no excuse. Considering all the preaching he does on noble humility, you’d think he would want your private affairs off the notice board? 

It doesn’t take long for your peers to start complaining. Claude finds his behavior entertaining, but not a day goes by that someone doesn’t beg you to make him shut up 

Lorenz is also a bit old fashioned. He doesn’t like the idea of you fighting more than necessary

Once again, shut down 

Best way to deal with Lorenz is to let him think he has his way, then just do whatever. He gets upset, pouts, spouts his normal lecture, but then relents. All in due process with him 

Never thought I’d say this, but perhaps requesting not to be in the same troop together is the best option? You’d think he would fight better with an S tier relationship at his side? Nahhh. HE TAKES YOUR KILLS IT IS NOT FAIR 

He gives too much attention to what you’re doing, and not the enemy. Best if you stay separated

Ugh pray no one hits on you in front of him. Just... *screams* I don’t think anyone will, just to avoid him getting defensive. I swear the other deer take extensive preventative measures to avoid it.  

Hilda:

6/10

C’mon. This is Hilda we’re talking about 

You two most likely grew closer because she “asks” you for help so often 

Just like Claude, she has bigger fish to fry. The last type of person she wants to be is Holst (she loves him though don’t misinterpret that)

She does worry though 

Not enough to make her take the front lines, but a smidgen. Just to where you’ll get periodic check in’s 

Nothing obvious. A simple “what’s going on?”  as she inquired about your well-being 

A precarious scan-over as she checks for any new scars

She does get jealous though. There’s an entire castle full of available people and someone chooses to flirt with you? 

That just doesn’t make sense. Perhaps the “once something is taken it becomes more desirable,” saying has some truth 

She’s quite the clinger. You’ll just be walking and suddenly, BOOM, bubble-gum pink arm-candy in the corner of your vision

Once you two bypass the ‘puppy-love’ early stages, she changes. 

Despite her negligence beforehand, she does become overprotective   

Will fight if needed. Say you have a paralogue? Just so happens she was nearby and wants to tag along 

She also has to protect you from Holst. My dear, you cannot do that yourself. Brotherly wrath beseeches you, my god. Run dude run 

Marianne: 

3/10

A possessive streak is nonexistent in her blood. Such thing is a personal fear of her’s. Marianne refuses to conform to the stereotypes associated with her crest 

However, she does believe that one day you may leave her side. Marianne isn’t the most confident person. She...doubts 

Often does she wonder if you’re there solely to make her hurt. To love her and then one day disappear without a trace 

Anxieties like so will not go away overnight. She will not seek reassurance, which makes her more uncommunicative than most partners 

but no one is perfect. Neither are you. All you personally can do is politely decline any advances, and do your best to let Marianne know that you love her 

She isn’t particularly protective in any other sense either. She’ll heal you if needed, but special attention isn’t there

Marianne treats being a healer like how an ER doctor operates. On the field, everyone is equal. She is needed everywhere and cannot stay by your side. Otherwise lives will be lost, and that won’t be good for her conscience.

The same goes for all other aspects. If you’re gone, then you’re gone. If you’re sick, then you’re sick. She cannot give you special attention and acts in accordance to severity of the situation. Patients cannot be weighed in value via personal bias 

She has a surprisingly strong sense of self control, let me tell ya.

Lysithea:

7/10

She...does not have much time. Entering a romantic relationship was not a possibility that crossed her mind once before you 

Why bother when the ending is certain? Why leave someone brokenhearted, or a widow? Why give herself that extra stress when she’s already under so much as it is?

You can’t blame her for being extra cautious. While her life may be hanging on a string, that doesn’t mean yours has to end 

After some time she develops a resolve. If needed she would gladly lay her life down if it meant you could live another day 

A problematic conclusion. You two will argue often over how she cannot trade a ‘life for a life,’ just because of her special circumstances. Her mind always enforces that it’s the logical decision, and has trouble recognizing her own value

I suppose that comes with being a know-it-all, huh? Once her mind is set then there is no changing it 

Despite her brain sending all the signals that acting on jealousy is wrong...well, we know Lysithea 

She won’t come out and say she gets protective for your sake. Apparently anyone flirting with you already had business with her

Business that miraculously unfolds once you leave. Then suddenly they no longer have an interest? 

What’d she do? Threaten to shove a thoron up their rectum? No one knows 

Leonie: 

9/10 

She is the mom who’d create a strict morning routine for her kids to follow before school 

Or a thorough itinerary on a vacation 

Not a moment or bullion to be wasted! 

Cannot express enough how much this girl cares. She can become annoying from all the interference, but you’ll never become a bum with her in your life 

You might want to ask her to butt out. Remind her that you’re not one of the kids from her village, and that you can handle yourself 

Sometimes you’ll joke and say “yes mom,” because she gets b o s s y 

Which will earn you either: a) a glare, or b) her playing along and confusing everyone else 

So in a sense, yeah she’s protective. Overbearing in her own Leonie way 

Not the jealous type. Leonie doesn’t look at what other people have, and instead focuses on her own life. If someone wants to shamelessly throw themselves at your feet then that’s their issue. You know better than to cheat on her 

I can see her complaining to the captain or to Byleth though. Why waste time when the issue can easily be solved? Obviously someone with the time to flirt has time to do training drills  

Bonus! Cyril: (because during my first play-through I kept expecting GD to take him under their wing. They did not, and Nintendo missed out.) 

5/10

He personally hates being treated like a child. When someone doesn’t take him seriously Cyril’s self restraint goes b o o m 

So he won’t do that to you. You’re a capable individual and that’s that. Nothing more for him to interfere with 

His only protective streak lies when you’re incapable of doing things yourself. Aka: injured, ill, resting, etc. 

He’ll nag you for not being careful, but it’s not hard to miss the tears pricking his eyes 

He’s also very perceptive towards break-in’s. Many people have tried to kidnap/assassinate people of higher standing. He’s witnessed many attempts towards lady Rhea. I see him taking night shifts for patrol often, and after the war the habit sticks with him.

He takes a lot onto his shoulders often. It’s not bad. Being dedicated is an admirable trait, yet if you’re down someone will have to stop him from picking up the slack. 

He’s no healer, and leaves that job to the professionals. However he doesn’t want anyone to disturb you with the work your missing. So he’ll do it in your stead 

Manuela lets him stay in the infirmary past visitation hours. Mostly because he’s so busy during the day that he can’t come by 

He won’t return to his room those nights. He prefers to be by your side, just in case. 

Other than this type of situation- no, he’s not protective in the slightest.  

[tillthelandslide]

Made to Love

Author's Note: Hello to all of you beautiful and wonderful people. I hope your day is going well. After having a whole day of writer's block, I listened to Made to Love by John Legend and this wonderful idea came into my head so I wrote it down. I hope you liked this and I'm thinking maybe I could do a part 2 if you guys like it?

This is set in a utopian world, not ours just so you know.

Tag List: @harrysthiccthighss @thereisa8ella @magdelen69 @henrythickcavill @hc-geralt-23 @kissthatlifeaway @darkbooksarwin @august-w-princess @speakerforthedead0 @pixie1484 @constip8merm8 @tigerbroadwaybaby @agniavateira @summersong69 @aestheticallywinchester @stephartrave @al-wiisa @henrycavillfanpage @intenselikes @anat2507 @ellixthea @aguspalazzo @1ookatthestars00 @wintersoldierslut @michelehansel @cavill-sass @thecavillstache  @xelizabethvalentinex @sesamepancakes @tumblenewby @thefangirlsblog @sugermelonwater

(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make   Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything  and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)  

Growing up you were taught the laws of the world you lived in. You were taught that every person around you had different morals and different beliefs. But one thing everyone agreed on was the existence of soul mates, two people linked by destiny, made for each other, two people bound my fate to be together until death do they part. You were taught that you could tell who your soulmate is purely but the feeling you got. You were told that your soul mates aura would match yours and the closer you were to each other the deeper you would feel, the more intense your feelings would be, as if amplified by the other person. You were also taught that as you grew up you would get visions of your soul mate. You wouldn't see what they looked like or where they lived but would see visions of what they were like, what they did in their spare time. You knew yours was an actor (although how famous you didn't know), you knew he enjoyed video games just as much as you did, he grew up reading fantasy books just like you, you could feel that family was important to him, he had brothers but you weren't sure how many. You could also feel each other's emotions when you were apart, a constant reminder from destiny that you had to find each other to live in peace, to live in paradise with each other. The piece of information that made it difficult in finding him was that he was an actor, he was always travelling and was always filming. This made finding him difficult because you were a singer, a famous one at that, you were constantly on the road, never in the same place for more than a couple of days at a time.

But you were currently on a break from your life on the road, you had told your fans that you were going to take a hiatus and lots of them encouraged you to find your soul mate, because they wanted you to be happy.

One of the fundamental laws of soul mates was the push and pull dynamic, the more someone would push their soulmate away. the more they would find themselves needing that person. There were people who ignored these laws, and lived their lives running from destiny. Soulmates who were yet to find each other were allowed to carry out temporary relationships with non-soul mate individuals, named "betas" but were forbidden to marry them or reproduce with them. Again there were those who hated these laws, those who married non-soulmates to spite destiny.

As for you, you had a few relationships with betas, but they never satisfied that of your deepest desire. It was fun getting to know betas and you found yourself loving them, but not in the way that soulmates would love each other. Eventually the relationship between betas would come to an end when the other found their soulmate. But you were yet to find yours so all of your beta relationships had ended because they had been successful in carrying out the law.

So here you were, alone in your house in London, what was the point of a break if I can't even find my soulmate? you thought. You were beginning to lose hope, maybe you had done something to spite destiny and this was its way of punishing you.

You had begun to feel ill, your mother bringing you some soup in hopes you would feel better. Your mother was one of few individuals, who destiny had granted multiple soul mates, this only happened to people whose original soul mate had passed, destiny would grant them another if they had successfully carried out the law of soul mates in all its glory. And your mother had, she had found her soulmate when she was 21 and had gotten married soon after, having 4 beautiful children (you included) before sadly her soul mate (your father) and passed. Destiny had decided that she carried out the law so well that she deserved another one.

To say it irked you was an understatement, you were happy for her, sure, but there she was having had 2 soul mates and you were yet to find yours.

"He's on he's way dear" she said, as she was leaving your home.

"I don't know ma" you frowned, rubbing your forehead I wish this throbbing in my head would stop for christ sake you thought.

"He is, my love. Now rest and get better, I have to meet Derek for lunch" she said referring to your step farther.

"Have a lovely day ma" you said, making her smile and leave you.

Your head throbbed again, making you have to close your eyes as you felt like you were going to faint.

"What in the world?" you said, your hand coming up to rest against the wall to stop yourself from falling.

Sit down love you heard his voice in your head say. Oh yeah, another side effect of not finding your soulmate was having this kind of connection with them, they could communicate with you, through your mind. It sounds ridiculous but it's true, it takes practice to successfully send a message to your soul mate, apparently it becomes painstakingly easy when you've actually met them.

"You're not helping me" you chuckled out, crashing on your sofa.

You need to rest, your making me feel nauseous his voice said again

"Oh thanks love. Sorry to be such a pain" you said, sarcastically.

Sorry love you heard him chuckle

"It would be a lot easier if you were here dickhead" you laughed, joking with him, your eyes still shut. An image flashed in your mind... A lot of green, that's all you could see for miles.

"What are you doing?" you laughed, talking about the vision you got.

Walking Kal

"all I can see is green, like for miles?" you asked, and you heard him chuckle. He didn't say anything else and you sighed, resting your head against your sofa.

Wish I could help you. He sounded sad and he felt sad too, you could physically feel him frowning, but you knew it felt worse for him, that's how it worked. You were feeling dizzy, which meant he was feeling it a little too.

"Would be so much easier if I knew where you were." you said, your cat jumping up to sit on you.

Y'know how it works love, can't tell you that

He was right, another stupid rule was that if one soulmate attempted to send a message containing information about where they were or where they lived, the information would be corrupted, all the other would hear is muffled speech.

"I'll leave you to it then my love" you said quietly.

Okay love, rest well. Get someone to come round and look after you

"I'll try." you said. You managed to open your eyes, the world spinning a lot less now, the same throbbing in your head like someone was constantly playing a drum in there. You picked up your phone texting your best friend.

"Hey. Not well. Please come save me 😂" you typed, short sentences will have to do you thought.

"coming" was all you received back. Your friend arrived 10 minutes later, as she lived close by. She let herself in calling your name, to which you just groaned.

"Oh c'mon you big baby, it can't be that bad" she said upon seeing you.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have what feels like someone kicking your head in every 2 seconds" you said, groaning when she tried pulling you up from your seat.

"We're going for a walk, the fresh air will do you good." she said, forcing your shoes on your feet.

"Really? I'm not well" you pouted.

"C'mon you need air" she said, pulling you up and to the door.

You began walking, every few steps you had to stop and shut your eyes, your vision became blurry and your head pounded and pounded with every step. You could see green again, a park?

"Hey it's okay, I've got you I'm here, Cmon sit down" she said, leading you to a bench.

Another vision: a bench?

Another one: two women?

Another one: a dog jumping excitedly

What was that?: An American Akita?

"This isn't working" you groaned loudly, your vision coming back to you, you looked around you, you were in a park, surrounded by green.

"Oh my god" you said, your head pounding, like a drum getting louder. You stood suddenly, your feet hurt but they carried you forward, you didn’t want to be walking but your body had other plans, your legs hurt... Everything hurt.

What's happening? You heard him say

You were falling, falling, your head throbbing more than ever, just as you were about to hit the ground, you felt something soft... Hands? You opened your eyes briefly, two blue eyes, the left had a bit of brown in it

 And then? Nothing.

The next thing you know, you were lying on the pavement, your head no longer hurt... That's good you thought. You opened your eyes, seeing the same blue eyes, your heart felt like it exploded, your back shooting up from the ground on its own accord, turning to look at the man.

"Oh my god" you cried, he was here, you found him.

"Told you to rest, love" he said, somehow making a joke out of it, but he had tears in his eyes too. You wrapped your arms around him, him pulling you to his chest.

"It's okay I've got you love, I've got you" he said, hugging you like he was never going to let go.

"You found me" you said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I found you alright" he said, nodding as tears fell from his eyes.

"Henry" you said, suddenly knowing his name as if you'd always known it, you knew everything there was to know about him, and he you.

"Y/N" he uttered, his hand grasping your face tightly in his hand, bringing it closer to his so he could finally kiss you. His lips were perfect against yours, it was everything everyone told you it would be, nothing but heightened emotions, destiny and fate.

"I love you so much" he uttered against your lips.

"I love you too" you replied, pulling back from the kiss.

"How's the head?" he said, his fingers rubbing at your temple.

[genshinconfessions]

I've noticed that whenever someone ships a certain character with someone else, for absolutely no reason xiaoven and xiaoaether shippers will always be there to harass them. They also seriously hate seeing Lumine as the MC too, even though both twins are the canon MC.

Like I'm talking about these people straight up sending you death threats. If you don't like my content, maybe learn to shut up, block the tag, and not interact? These people are straight up one of the most toxic people I've ever seen and its about time the fandom stops acting as if they are nice.

I used to be pretty neutral about both of these ships, but after getting harassed, and seeing people be harassed by them, I've started to hate those ships.

:/// i'm very sorry about what you've had to experience, anon.

this seems to go hand in hand with what another anon was saying previously, about how a lot of genshin x reader fics portray very toxic relationships but it seems to be the norm in the fandom.

i don't think any of us have received death threats to ourselves, but we certainly have gotten disturbing asks targeted towards supporters of a certain ship. it is quite concerning to us that people would even say that in the first place, much less in a fandom that is on the younger side.

but, perhaps because the fandom is younger, many fans have ill-defined boundaries that they're still trying to figure out. and, i can't speak for anyone else, but (tw: glorification of mental health issues) when i was younger, it was 'cool' to 'have problems'. it set you apart from the 'normies'. it showed that you 'weren't one of them'.

obviously, that is not a correct notion to have. but it was validating at the time, and i am sure that many people relate to this kind of experience.

that said, i have still seen full-grown adults involved in the shipwars, the toxicity cycles, and it's... concerning, to say the least. when children do it, it's sad but you expect them to grow out of it, and in truth, most of them do. but when adults do it, it's sad but in the pitiful way. don't they have anything better to do than to spew hateful words at a child on twitter? i wonder what some of those people are like irl, honestly.

alas, this is the internet, where anyone can say anything they want. we obviously cannot stop everyone from saying hateful things, nor can we watch over every child and check in and make sure they're learning how to set their boundaries correctly. but, really, that comes from experience anyway. it takes a couple of experiences to figure out what you're okay with and what you're not okay with.

but it's sad to see a child send the most hateful words. i truly hope that the genshin fandom learns to stop taking this game so seriously; it is, at its base, a gacha game with fighting elements. it is not as serious as some people make it out to be. there are no canon ships; it is fine to self-project or to like a ship for other reasons, but it is not okay to harass others over it.

for those on the older side, it is of course not your responsibility to baby the younger players, but it IS your responsibility to make the fandom and game a welcoming place for everyone. this game is rated 12+, after all.

and for the younger players, it is not in your best interests to listen and repeat everything that is said or claimed on the internet, even if it is by adults that you trust, watch, or play with. as with everything, there is more than one side to the argument, and you have to critically think about what you're seeing or hearing.

man, this turned out to be a much longer and much more serious response than i intended. i DO NOT speak for the other admins, but i hope that someone might see this and reconsider their actions, if needed.

(any asks in response to this one may or may not be posted; it depends on the contents of said ask)

- katheryne from liyue

[cactusfru1ts]

fuck it. intro post 

(under the cut because it got. slightly longer than intended. oops)

hiiii besties im quetzal im part of a system and i got sick of pretending to be my headmate so i just kinda made my own tumblr cause whos gonna stop me

im 18 (body age and mental age) i use it/he pronouns and im a gemini, i dont really know what else im supposed to put here lmao. i made an account on pronouns.page if you want more info about my pronouns and stuff, and if you dont know what plural means you should probably check out morethanone.info but the extremely short version is that im one of several people sharing one body

oh my gender is kinda weird but the short version is that im a girlqueer bigender guy. technically im also transmasc but i dont really consider myself trans? or cis. or nonbinary. i call myself genderqueer sometimes, most gender words that have an “opposite” are kinda weird for me though. idk its like… physically i am transmasculine but i guess since i didnt form until wed already been on hrt for a bit it just isnt much of a thing for me. oh and the bigender part is like 90% guy 50% girl i guess. yeah that sounds about right.

oh also i said in my bio that im bisexual but i am also aromantic. i mean technically i guess im gray aro but for all intents and purposes i am aromantic. im also polyamorous and like i think relationships are super fun i just only realized recently that “it might be fun to date this person” is not necessarily the same thing as “i am romantically attracted to this person” lol

i really like music, some of my favorite musicians are watsky, hozier, mitski, taylor swift, mcr, and sidney gish, and im theoretically a musician but i am generally not very good at learning instruments so i mostly just sing. i also paint sometimes but im not very good at it lol

oh im really interested in cults (i listen to a lot of cult podcasts mostly) but i know a lot of folks consider that a weird thing to bring up at the dinner table so i try not to talk about it with folks i dont know well enough that i can feel confident that theyll tell me if i need to shut up. with that said i often need to shut up and if you tell me to shut up and youre not a dick about it i will try to shut up. in conversation anyways. i made a tumblr because i dont shut up though so it probably wont work if you just want me to stop posting cringe. go ahead and  block “#quetzposting” if you dont wanna see my original posts because theyll probably get pretty annoying pretty fast

other stuff i like includes 17776, psych, ncis (i know dont @ me), and also wings of fire but in kind of a weird fictive way sometimes. (technically speaking i am a fictive of qibli but i just call myself fictionkin cause it seems… more accurate, if less precise. something something integration idk. i probably wouldnt even mention it but since im openly plural here i get to make fictive jokes so i may as well explain that now.)

okay this was supposed to be a temporary intro post but i rambled a lot so i guess ill probably just keep it for a while im working on a listography though so hopefully ill add the link to that soon

edit: i made a page on my blog thats sort of like a guide to my tagging system, its more for my own benefit but if youre looking for something or need to know what to blacklist it could be useful?

second edit: i finished my listography! or like got it presentable anyways i didnt “finish” it bc im gonna have to update it + stuff but its at a point where you can look at it and learn things about me in a way that is much more pleasant than just looking at this post. this post sucks. i will hopefully also be replacing this post shortly lmao

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Before Dawn: Bonus Chapter (1)

Helloooooo, alright listen, I re read a choice with no regrets and uhm here is this, a little insight on what has happened a little while before our story began, I'm sure you'll want to see some nice bonding with Isabel

Warnings: just a few teeny little mentions of intercourse

@hidehaskak of course here's your tag❤️

Turtleneck

"Yehawhaww" The moment you appeared at the entrance to the roof Isabel screamed at the top of her lungs in great enthusiasm. You stood silent after you spared her a smuggling nod pacing your eyes between the two men that accompanied her, awaiting for a signal of approval. "I knew I could get you to come! You guys don't mind her hanging out with us right? She's a friend."

At that sound the males finally gave in, letting Isabel close the distance between the both of you. Her significantly smaller arms wrapped around your frame in a pure hearted childish manner and seeing that you towered over her you placed your hands on the small of her back, almost too reassuringly to the males' liking. Their unforgiving gazes burned holes in your whole body with much rage built in for ruining their fun for the night.

You knew you were practically unwanted, but it was for Isabel that you stepped foot on this rooftop to begin with. Tired of her never ending pleas to join her and her so called bros as they looked at the stars and talked about everything and anything you had decided to violate curfew and join her, not them, just her, because you wanted to share some more moments with her. This young little redhead was growing on you in the best way possible, you thought she kind of reminded you of yourself in times where you needed salvage or just a friend with whom you could share your piece of mind and heart.

She wasn't like that at first. Isabel probably resembled a rose, it occurred to you, with her godly youthful looks and her thorn like personality. It was a result from growing up in a trashhole like the underground, among thugs, being forced to build a rough personality if she wanted to survive, it was merciless for her and any other girl down there. But the bubbly side of her personality assured you she was much more than a badass teen who could hand you your ass in any fight, she had a pure heart and you longed to help her feel like she deserved post childhood experiences. But for now, it felt as if your roles had reversed. Sure, you were -if not just as her- bubbly and kind but sometimes you were frustratingly unresponsive and ill faced that it worried her until she got to know you. You hadn't put yourself in a place to talk about you trauma to her; she had her own demons and there was no point in burdening her with your abusive background, but you managed to explain to her that most of your weird and uptight behaviors, most things you could dispose of to become a better person, were curved into you in ways you could share yet. And Isabel, as respectful as ever had assured you it was fine not to be able to share.

Most girls would shut her out due to her formal nature as a thug, much like your friends who at first were adamant about discouraging you to befriend her. They had assumed she wouldn't be able to be nice and kind or to talk like them, but you were against any pretentious act behind her back. Maybe it was due to egoistical motives that you wanted to salvage this little girl, because she reminded her of you, and Nanaba, the only person who fully knew about your situation was taking a stand against this at first. She didn't want you to hurt yourself or the redhead in the process of trying to project your condition on her. But you didn't give up. With Isabel as your new bunkmate you had many chances of getting it right.

"Did you bring what I asked you to?" Isabel hurriedly asked, reaching her hands to make a quest inside the tote bag that you carried. You showed no sign of holding back as you let her peak into the cream colored bind, but only managed to cover your ear as her squeks got louder. "Thank you thank you thank you! Sit down, show me!

Isabel shooed Levi and Furlan apart, placing herself right next to the blond man while tapping her hand on her left side. You followed her smile hesitantly and proceeded to sit down to where her hand was rested a few seconds ago, next to Levi. You felt his eyes ravaging your whole form, up and down as if you were some dirty pig that seeked to rub its mud onto him. When seated neatly enough as to not touch him you proceeded to pry open your tote bag and toss a share of it insides to Isabel.

With a determined face she got a strong hold of the grey colored yarn and the pair of slightly thick needles you had managed to recover for her. "Okay show me, show me!"

"Oh what's that?" Furlan peeked his head over Isabel's shoulder to inspect of the situation.

"It's yarn and needles."

"Ahh, Furlan don't interrupt, (y/n) show me how to cast on!"

"See that's the easiest part, sweetheart." You watched Isabel coo at the support in your tone while she puckered her lips to a cute kid like pout. She followed your slow movements as if you were a goddess, showing her how to create new wolds with her strained hands.

Levi, even though he was suspicious of you, a member of Erwin's team who tried to coax her way into Isabel's life, felt somehow relieved to see that beloved expression on Isabel's face. He had overheard her once, taking to her self in the mirror, wishing she had a lady friend to spend time with and it pained him that she had a feeling of such lack inside her. Therefore your presence was a little soothing in their company. He would be lying if he said he personally didn't like it. After all he had thought you were a beautiful company to Erwin in one of the many times he had come across him in the Underground, silently watching him from the shadows. Not that he was a creep to begin with, it was just his lack and a response to the question of whether you can ever see a stranger twice, that you were actually a scout.

"Where did you learn to do this (y/n?)" Furlan was set to break off Levi's thoughts for one too many times tonight.

"Old mothers are adamant about these things, you know, good girl stuff and all."

"Oh." He began with a flirtatious tone that made both Levi and Isabel turn to him wide eyed "Good girl huh? Every Bad boys dream, including min- ah shit Isabel, ouch!"

The squint in Isabel's eyes was something that you couldn't see and you even ignored it as a matter of fact. Isabel was aware of your teeny crush on Levi, she had gotten it out of you one day during training after she had caught you gawking and drooling at him for doing the bare minimum. It was simply natural for her to get overly excited at the fact. Ever since then she had been convinced that him and you would be a perfect match, that you wouldn't have to be so uptight with him after all but you would always brush her off. It didn't torment you just get, even if his cold gaze somehow tickled your heart at certain times you were perfectly fine with hanging out around him. But there was no point in trying to convince Isabel to give up, not when she practically lived off of you and the male duo. Perhaps that was why she had squinted her eyes so hard at Farlan, she didn't want the couple in her head to be broken apart before it even started.

For the rest of your time with them you barely speak. You were fine with standing there and knitting away your project, a grey ribbed sweater that you had accidentally managed to make huge up to a certain point when you didn't find a purpose in casting off and undoing. You wondered if Isabel really wanted to knit or if it was her excuse to have you hang out with the ravenette since she had seemed to long forget about her needles and was fixated on a bottle of booze, talking away about some merchants in the underground flee market. You figured you should take your leave being to alienated to break their usual trio, you couldn't even keep up with their conversations, not that they cared to include you.

"So if you're all about playing housewife what are you doing here?" Farlan's voice calls out to you almost strained from any actual purpose, he probably knew it was kind of rude on the part to not include you after Isabel had invited you.

You remained silent for a few moments, tilting your head back to stare at the jewel decorated dark sky. Finding the right words for your purpose seemed unbelievably difficult and suffocating but it perhaps was nothing compared to their previous lifestyle.

"I didn't want to die." Two of the three almost fall to instant, bubbling laughter the moment your thoughts longer in the air as actual words.

"And you came here out of all places?" Levi sternly inquired without ever initiating some sort of eye contact.

"I wasn't top of my class, but even if I was I wouldn't go in the MP. I don't want to live a full life as a bastard you know and Garrison, let's say I have my reasons as to not going there."

Something about that bastard themed sentence caused curiosity to twitch inside Levi's chest but he didn't quest on it, oversharing wasn't in his plans to do so with a practical stranger, even if deep down you didn't exactly feel like one. He couldn't be explain that feeling but he could certainly understand what it was that made Isabel so attached to you. Something about your aura was like fresh, dripping honey, unprocessed yet sweet and endearing and overpoweringly strong to the flavor.

"You're not a bastard you had parents right? You just talked about your old mother."

Conveniently, Farlan's words allowed you to shut up and look away, further away from the former thug trio and into the vast horizon that laid before you. You contemplated what was it that enamored everyone outside the walls. With all that death, the scouts corpses that rot every where, you didn't have anything against the walls or life inside, taking down Titans and following orders was therapeutic enough to you as long as you came back to an eventual cup of milk tea and your knitting and embroidering projects. You couldn't bring yourself to give a damn about your future, but you liked fighting for the future of others, maybe somewhere there was a child, just like you, who wanted to get away from an abusive household and start a new life or pick up on experiences they had never lived. These people deserved not to feel caged inside the walls and plus, the nature of the Titans was very much appealing to you due to Erwin and his constant pep talks.

"Wait so how did you end up in Erwin's squad if you're mediocre?" Farlan pushed again, not wanting to let you stay silent for what's worth it.

"Don't forget I'm a veteran. I've outpassed the years a scout is expected to live so Erwin decided to move me to his squad, Mike insisted since we were from the same district."

"Oh so you fucked your way up huh?"

With the corner of his eye Levi watched as your eyes widened in shock. He couldn't possible know about your past, but you didn't seem the tyoe to go around and fuck your superiors so you could earn a higher rank. You were too ignorant to anything, it was prominent that you didn't care about even receiving your own room for serving well all these years.

"How dare you! As if it's something to open your legs for!" There it was, sweet confirmation that you indeed were ignorant.

"Good girl and all huh?"

"Sure."

There was something tense in the air as Farlan flirted, the subtle roll in your eyes, the unusual monotony of Isabel's voice, even Levi has seemed to bring his shoulders towards his collarbones in any attempt to distance his mind off of the unrequited nature of scenery. You weren't flirting back, momentarily he wondered if you even knew how since the sheer blush on your face betrayed your otherwise distinctive spitfire. You acted more childish than Isabel, in a way that you probably didn't realise caught Levi's attention because he didn't mind to spare you a glare, he'd rather keep it to himself.

____

Next time, it was supposed to be Farlan who approached to help you get your foot out of the muddy hole it was stuck to, Isabel squealed profanities at him, but it was Levi who had managed to push past him and the redhead, exposing his self to the cold pouring rain to run towards you. Just how stupid of your team was to leave you in the pouring rain to make your foot in your own?

His mind was at gaze as he sprint, random thoughts filling empty apathetic species that begged for overthinking to take over them. He knew Farlan didn't really like you, he was just trying to such to their plan and keeping you close was in sole purpose of getting closer to Erwin but for Isabel is want like that. She really liked your company, even he enjoyed some of your company at times and they weren't taking any chances with using you.

Moreover and much to his despise, he found himself in a very murky situation with each extension of his foot to your location. Fuck did you really have to look like that? With one leg stretched, toned bottom swaying in the air, strong veiny hands gripping on your knee, mud on the tips of your fingers and hair wet, making wild moves as you flipped your head upwards to get it out of your face. He twitched at the way a small tress stuck to your chapped lips, almost as if you were a goddess of water, a Nereid, as if you were made to be in this drenched state. Small droplets traveled from your chin down your exposed neck, hiding inside the base of your soft grey turtleneck, it was indeed a magnetising scenery, an alluring unraveling play to his eyes but he dared to rip his eyes away. He wondered if anyone could perceive this scene the way that only he did.

"Tch, try not to get that filth on me." He spoke as his sleek palms wrapped around your torso in delicate force, fitting almost perfectly. He closed his eyes. What the fuck was he even thinking? He wasn't even going to stay here for long.

"Wouldn't dream of it, but I beg of you to help before I get sick"

From a distance Isabel watched with teary eyes. A soft feeling of happiness engulfed her whole, not letting her give some form of attention to Farlan who clicked his tongue.

"Whatever Farlan, Levi is finally going to get some action for once. It's not like it's interfering with our mission!" Her brows forrowed at his sight. "He likes her, can't you see?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that if you don't actually tell him"

Her eyes harded at what Farlan had said. Of course, she knew Levi would deny ever laying his eyes on anyone but she wanted to be there to watch him experience falling in love, hell even falling out of it. Farlan should plainly accept that Levi is not always going to be hang up from their group. Sticking together even after their time at the military was a given, but wanting to have lovers and relationships now that they could enjoy their lives? Isabel was eagerly excited for it.

She watched you and Levi as you freed your leg from the muddy puddle, flying over by the force you had both been laboring and falling on too of each other, Levi's face was contorted in anger, fumingly red as he tried not to tell at you and she was definite about his feelings towards you.

Outside and laid with his back in the mud, Levi felt startled in a way he hadn't experienced before. He could faintly feel the tips of your breasts on his chest and he guessed you were using cloth binds since the impact wasn't enough to get him beyond a little flustered, but he could admit that this was embarrassing. He was angry, for being muddy that is, god knows just how much he despised mud and the smell of filthy rain but there was something about the way you straddled him and it touched a little flicker inside of him that told him it was alright to be muddy for a few more seconds, as long as he was underneath you. Despite his lack of experience in romantic or tense moments, he only had had sex a few times that he could count on one hand and he had despised each one for being disgustingly filthy, he definitely could sense the electric field in the air around you.

But as soon as the moment occured and you took your glistering eyes off of his, you pushed strength into your arms, digging your palms in the dirt to lift your self up and he was once again his normal self. With a click if his tongue he slipped from underneath you, denying your open hand that seeked to offer him a little help. He wasn't here for a sappy little romantic adventure, he was here to find those documents and kill Erwin, you were merely getting in the way of his brain functioning properly.

[godess-ofthe-underworld]

Love Finds A Way

(sequel to “See You Again) (A Harry Hook x reader story)

Part 9

"I… I…"

"You what?"

Harry stepped closer, the movement making Hadley look up from the hook.  Their eyes met, Hadley could see the emotions swimming through his ocean blue eyes.  

She let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding.

"I love you…"

Part 9

Harry's crystal blue eyes widened,enhanced by the thick line of eyeliner around them, his shoulders slumped, his jaw slacked a little. 

Hadley saw the other vks close to the pipe and had to act fast.

"I'm sorry"

Harry snapped out of it just as Hadley dropped the hook over the railing and into the water. 

Harry rushed past her not saying anything as she ran past to join the others. 

A few tears prickled in her eyes as she fought more pirates.

Hadley helped Ruby fight off two pirates as Jay and Lonnie ran through the pipe.

They backed closer to it.

Hadley watched as Harry fought Ben, dripping wet. There was a rage in his eyes that Hadley never saw before. She snapped out of her staring when Evie pulled her back.

"Carlos! Smoke bomb!"

Carlos tossed the smoke bomb to Evie and she held it up.

Purple smoke billowed out from the broken bomb, covering them to escape.

"Ben go!"

Evie, Ruby and Ben went through the pipe.

Hadley and Mal made it over the bridge, stopping at the opening.

Together they kicked the bridge off the docks and into the waters below.

Mal smirked at Uma and turned away going through the tunnel.

Hadley lingered a few moments longer looking at Harry.

He was looking straight back, his blue eyes sad. He almost looked like he wanted to say something.

"i'm sorry"

Hadley turned and ran through the tunnel, throwing her sword in the trunk of the limo and climbing in.

When she settled in her seat a  silent tear slipped down her cheek.

The way back was silent, no one said anything aside from Dude saying things he shouldn't.

When they got back all Hadley wanted to do was sit in her room and cry.

Ruby ran off to the dorms as soon as her feet hit Auradon soil.

Evie pulled her and Mal away walking towards the dorms.

"We need to talk"

Hadley nodded, another tear dripping down her cheek.

"No."  Carlos stepped forward making the girls turn around.

"No?"

“You guys are always going off in a huddle, whispering your girl-talk or whatever.  And Jay and I are tired of it.”

Jay looked at Carlos wide eyes before holding his hands up.

“I'm not.” He shrugged.

“We're your family, too.” Carlos continued “We've been through a lot. Together. I'm not stopping that now. Okay?” Mal and Hadley shook their heads.

Carlos looked at the other four standing around him.

“Everyone, sit.” Carlos sat down cross-legged in the grass with Dude in his lap.

They looked around at each other before sitting down.

The five sat in a circle in silence for a few seconds before Carlos spoke again looking over at Jay.

“I don't know how to start girl-talk.”

Jay shrugged “what up?”

Evie chuckled and Mal spoke up.

“Um… Well…” she paused looking for the right words, “ I'm a mess. I'm such a mess.” Mal laughed nervously and Evie placed a hand on her shoulder and Hadley reached out for her hand squeezing it reassuringly “I mean, six months ago, I was, you know, stealing candy from babies, and know, everyone wants me to be this Lady of the Court and I have no idea how to keep up the act”

“Then don't” Carlos shrugged.

“See? This was dumb.” Jay sighed starting to get up.

Evie held out her hand stopping him from leaving the grass.

“Maybe not,” she readjusted to hold Mals other hand and face the others.

“we are always going to be the kids from the Isle.  I tried to forget it, I really tried. But those are our roots.  And we all did what we had to do to survive, but it made us who we are.  And we are never going to be like anyone else here.  And that's okay.”

“And we can't fake it” Carlos added.

“Yeah, I mean, especially without my spell book.” Mal sighed.

“Well of Ben doesn't love the real you, then he's not the one.  The same goes with Harry, Hadley.  If Harry can't see the way you feel for him and what you gave up, then he doesn't deserve you” Carlos gave a small smile.

Hadley laughed nervously and another year slid down her cheek.

“See that's the thing, Harry does know how I feel, at least he does now now anyway.” Hadley looked down.

“What do you mean?” Jay furrowed his eyebrows.

“I, um.., I told him that I loved him.” Hadley let out a sharp breath.

The others gasped.

“What did he say?” Evie looked wide eyes at her.

“He didn't say anything.” Hadley gave a sheepishly sad smile “ I said it right before I dropped his hook in the water, he dove in right after,” Hadley paused before starting again. 

“He thought I forgot about him, he thought I abandoned him there.  And I know you guys don't necessarily like him because he's on Umas crew and everything, but he does have a heart.  And to see the look on his face when he confronted me outside of the Ursals’, I broke my heart.  Knowing that I was the sole purpose of it.  Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me now, I mean, I did tell him I was coming back for him.  And now I won't even get to know what his answer would be.” Hadley wiped away the tears that had fallen.

“Well, if he's dumb enough to not love you back then, you don't deserve him.” Jay nodded.

Hadley smiled sadly.

There was silence for a few minutes before  Evie spoke.

“ Hadley and I are going to go make some changes to your dress. And if you're up for it, only if you're up for it, it'll be waiting for you, okay?” Mal nodded slightly and Evie pulled her into a hug mounting 'thank you’re to Carlos who nodded.

Jay, Evie, Hadley and Carlos stood up and began walking away.

When Hadley and Evie reached Evie's dorm, Hadley flopped on her bed.

“E, what am I going to do?” Evie leaned against the post at the foot of her bed.

Evie gave her a small smile.

She sat down on the bed as Hadley sat up and pulled the girl into a side hug. 

“What does your heart say?” 

“That right now, I'm hoping for a miracle” Hadley sighed.

(Evie)

They don't always happen when you ask And its easy to give in to your fears But when you're blinded by your pain Can't see the way, get through the rain A small but still, resilient voice Says hope is very near, oh (Oh) There can be miracles (Miracles) When you believe (Boy, when you believe, yeah) (Though hope is frail) Though hope is frail (Its hard) Its hard to kill (Hard to kill, oh, yeah) Who knows what miracles You can achieve (You can achieve, oh) When you believe somehow you will (Somehow, somehow, somehow) Somehow you will (I know, I know, know) You will when you believe (When you)

(A/n: for those of you who read 'see you again' will know where this song came from :))

Hadley turned and hugged Evie tight.

“What would I do without you?” She smiled.

“Not sure. But now, we have a dress to fix.” Evie stood up pulling Hadley with her.  After getting changed from their Isle clothes, Evie gladly let Hadley borrow some clothes, together they pulled out Mal's yellow and blue dress, attaching it to the mannequin.  Evie cut and Hadley sewed.

Just over an hour later, there was a frantic knock on the door.

“Come in” Hadley said through the pins in her teeth.

The door burst open and in walked a tear streaked Ruby.

Hadley stood up and removed the pins from her mouth seeing her friend in such a state.

“Ruby? What's wrong?” Hadey and Evie both rushed over to console the blonde girl.

“I think I'm in love.” Ruby didn't look up from the floor.

“Well that's great!” Evie squealed.

“Ruby?” Hadley already had an idea on who it was.

“With who?” 

Ruby looked up at them.

“I think I'm in love with Gil.” 

Hadley and Evie looked at each other.

Oh boy..

“Okay, you need to talk and we need to work, let's go” Hadley shut the door and pulled Ruby over to the dresses.

Hadey and Evie resumed their work both listening to her

“Spill.”

“I don't know, I just, I felt something when we ran into him the first time on the Isle.”

Hadley urged her for more details

“After I was captured by Umas crew, Gil never left my side. He also didn't let any of the other crew members get close to me.  We got to talking, found out we have a similar interest in adventures and discovering new places.  He's really sweet." Ruby had a far off look in her eyes. 

"Gil always was. Granted he can be a bit thick headed but, nonetheless,  he is a great guy.  Harry's told me that." Hadley hadn't looked away from the lace she was sewing.

"I understand completely" she reached out and placed her hand on Ruby's knee. 

"I just wish there was some way to bring him over, you know?"Ruby sighed.

"Oh believe me, nobody knows about wanting to bring someone over more than Hadley and I" Evie said walking around the front of the dress.

"There are many people on that island that don't deserve to be there."

Hadley finished stitching, stepping back with Evie and looking the dress up and down. 

"Its even more perfect than before." Hadley high fived Evie admiring their handywork.  

Hadley walked over to Ruby and pulled her up holding onto her hands.

"We will find a way to get Gil off the Isle.  Even if I have to go back there and drag him out myself." Hadley smiled. 

Ruby gave a slight chuckle and pulled Hadley and Evie into a hug.

"Now, its almost time for cotillion." Hadley walked over to the rack of dresses and pulled off a large dress bag labeled 'Ruby'.  She held the bag out.

"Go back to your dorm and get some rest, ill be over in a bit to help you get ready i gotta help deliver dresses and help Evie get ready." She leaned in as Ruby took the bag,and whispered "and to be honest, Evie is the only one who can get me into my dress." Ruby laughed as she nodded her head and walked out the door. 

 I gotta say this part tor me up writing... anyways.. If you liked this part and would like part 10 please like and comment.  As always you can read the illustrated version over on my Wattpad (@phelpsphan).  If you would like to be added to the tag list please message me. <3<3<3

Summary: You would think that six months in Auradon would do any villain kid good.  Well, not Hadley.  After the events of the Coronation, Hadley's mood took a downward spiral; and for one reason, guilt.  She'd broken a promise and left her best friend on the Isle of the Lost.  How will she handle seeing him again when certain circumstances bring her back to the Isle? Will she finally tell him what she really feels?  

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in Descendants.  Hadley and the plot between her and Harry are mine. 

Tag list: @unded-bride

[songtoyou]

PRomance - Part Two

Paring: Chris Evans x Famous Reader

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1,662

Warnings: None

Description: Chris needs some good press. He convinces one of his closest friends to partake in a PRomance.

A/N: This idea came to me one night. This is pure fiction as I do not know what Chris believes when it comes to politics and policy issues. This is a complete work of fiction. Italic represents flashbacks for this chapter. Bold represents text messages.

I do not permit my work to be to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list:  @ccolz88-blog​ @katiew1973​ @southerngracela​ @inlovewith3​ @thevelvetseries​ 

Note: Updated for grammar and punctuation edits.

Chris had been so wrapped with interviews while in D.C. for ASP. He was excited about some downtime. However, Chris knew he would not be able to enjoy himself too much. Tonight was the night of the official “outing” he would have with you. The hired paparazzi would be staked out of the selected hotel and restaurant to capture pictures of you and Chris entering and exiting both establishments. You mentioned to Chris and Megan that the first outing needed to be simple and not extreme. The outing should draw attention but not appear out of the ordinary. 

It was not like you and Chris had never been photographed together. The fans were used to seeing you both hangout from time-to-time. As Megan mentioned, the two of you always had a “will they, won’t they” vibe. Neither you nor Chris paid much attention to it as neither wanted to jeopardize the friendship. However, you could not quiet the little voice in your head that told you this whole situation might end up making things worse. 

You had a couple of days off from your talk show, so you planned to travel to D.C. for the weekend. It was not lost on you that the day you traveled was Valentine’s Day, which was such a contrast to how you spent the holiday last year. Your former boyfriend was a chef who preferred the quiet and nomadic life. As you and your friends affectionately nicknamed him, Chef was never keen on participating in the Hollywood/celebrity spectacle with you, which you understood. It was not his scene, not his type of people. 

Your friendship with Chris also did not help matters as your ex could not hide his contempt for the actor. You never could quite understand the resentment. “He is just a little too friendly for my taste. The guy doesn’t understand boundaries. Like, why would he? Chris can do whatever he wants, and no one says anything against him,” Chef ranted one night.

“You don’t know Chris as I know him. Is he perfect? No, of course not. But he isn’t some evil guy you make him out to be. You have never bothered to get to know him…” you tried to counter, but Chef cut you off.

“I don’t need to get to know him. I don’t like him. Plain and simple. Y/N, you are too naïve sometimes.”

“So, basically…what you are telling me is that you don’t trust my friendship with Chris. Is that correct? You don’t trust him around me. But overall, what this tells about you is that you don’t trust?” you replied, angry at him. He was ridiculous. 

“Look, I don’t want to fight about this anymore. Let’s, I’m sorry. I do trust you.”

Unfortunately, it turned out that Chef did not trust you. The constant arguing about Chris began taking a toll on the relationship. It was too much drama that neither wanted to deal with; you both decided to go your separate ways last November. Overall, it was for the best. You did not leave the relationship with any ill contempt for your ex but were disappointed that you could not make it work out with him in the end.

Chris made sure that a car service was scheduled to pick you up from the airport and take you to the hotel. While you took the time to put away your clothes and sort out your toiletries, there was a knock on your door. Peeking through the peephole, you saw Chris and opened the door to let him inside.

“Hi!” you squealed and wrapped your arms around Chris for a hug.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Chris responded and returned the hug. “Thanks for coming out tonight and staying for the rest of the weekend. I appreciate it greatly. I know you are busy with your things, and now I got you entangled in my mess…”

“Chris, will you shut it. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. I know your intentions with this whole situation are good. I’m not going to deny that I’m happy you decided to come to me with this and not some up-and-coming starlet for this venture,” you admitted candidly.

“Well, you are one of the few people that I can truly trust. So…” Chris began as he sat down on the bed, “Everything is set for eight o’clock tonight. We have reservations at Karma Modern Indian because I know how much you love Indian food. I forgot today was Valentine’s Day, so we were lucky to get a table.”

“You forgot it was Valentine’s Day! What a disappointing fake boyfriend you are,” you teased him.

“Haha… I’ll buy you a cookie later if it makes you feel better.”

You merely rolled your eyes and lay down on the bed. You were tired. It had a long week, and the one thing you wanted to do was take a nap. Thankfully, you had a couple of hours to spare before dinner tonight. Chris could see that you were exhausted and that your eyes were now closed.

“Hey, I’ll come back later, okay. You want me to call you to let you know that you need to wake up and get ready?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” you mumbled as sleep overtook you, and Chris quietly got up to step out of your hotel room. 

By 6:45 p.m., the sound of your iPhone began ringing, which woke you from your slumber. “I’m up. I’m up,” you said when answering, knowing it was Chris on the other end.

“You sleep well?”

Yeah. It was a much-needed nap. I’m going to start getting ready. I’ll meet you down in the lobby at 7:50, okay?” you told Chris.

“Sounds good. See you in a bit,” Chris replied, and you both ended the call.

Once showered, you applied your makeup and styled your hair. There was the added pressure knowing that you would be photographed, so you went for a more sophisticated look. Your outfit was a white off-shoulder long sleeve sweater dress, which you accompanied with knee-high length gray boots and a burgundy leather jacket.

After giving yourself a final look over in the mirror, you grabbed your clutch and headed out to the lobby. It did not surprise you that you arrived at the lobby first as you knew Chris tended to take longer to get ready than he liked to admit. You also figured that Chris was probably dealing with anxiety, not only about ASP but the outcome of tonight as well. You decided to shoot Chris a quick text message.

You: I’m dressed and waiting in the lobby.

Chris: Okay. I’m coming down.

As you continued to wait for Chris, you looked outside the hotel and could vaguely make out the photographer standing across the street waiting for you and Chris to exit.

“Oh my God. This is going to be such a shit show,” you said quietly to yourself. Now your anxiety about the whole thing was about to resurface. 

“Alright, I’m ready to go,” said Chris as he walked towards you. “Wow! You look nice,” he commented. 

“Just nice?” you teased as you gave him a spin.

“You look gorgeous,” Chris replied.

“That’s better. There’s a photographer outside waiting. Thankfully, our driver is already waiting for us,” you told him and added, “So, remember what we went over? No looking in the direction of the photographer. We walk side-by-side. If we hold each other’s hands, we interlace them waffle style. None of that palms flat pancake style you tend to do. Okay?”

“I got it. This isn’t my first rodeo, Y/N,” Chris pointed out.

“Alright. You ready?”

“No,” he said bluntly with a grin.

“Me either. Deep breaths. We got this,” you replied with a light laugh and interlaced your right hand with Chris’s left hand. 

As you exited the hotel with Chris, you wondered again the ramifications this outing would stir amongst fans and the media. Would this be accepted or challenged? Would reputations be ruined? These are the concerns you shared with both Chris and Megan. Your manager and publicist were not keen on the PRomance situation with Chris. 

“You used to say that you would rather stick a needle in your eye than partake in desperate PR setups,” your publicist reminded you.

“And I still maintain that sentiment, but Chris is my friend, and he needs help. I would rather him come to me than scrounge around for some no-talent starlet to agree to this PR stunt. It would just end up blowing up in his face,” you said.

“Y/N, need I remind you of Hiddleswift and how that was such a disaster. Tom has never fully recovered from that fiasco,” your manager shared. “My worry is that you could end up being Tom Hiddleston in this scenario.”

“What! That is absurd! Why would I be Tom in this situation?” you asked, confused.

“You have more to lose. Listen to me; you are in the first season of your talk show. It is getting great ratings. Great reviews. NBC just signed the show on for a second season. The chances of you and the show getting nominated for the Daytime Emmy Awards are high. This thing with Chris could cause all of that to come crashing down. We don’t want you to be the butt of anyone’s jokes, sweetheart. It would be completely unwarranted,” you publicist explained and asked, “Are you sure that you want to do this?” 

“Yes, I do. Trust me. I know what I’m doing. This is Chris we are talking about; he is a good guy. He’s not going to throw me under the bus if this all turns to shit. The two of us are in this together. I trust him.”

‘God, please don’t let this blow up in our faces,’ you said to yourself once entering into the restaurant with Chris by your side.