#Bonus points if the family knows but has no clue how to stop him

[croissantlover24]

AU where Nexus is the editor and just makes fun of the cast in the videos

[shewolf-sinclair]

I HATE when people dumb down Jason Todd “he’s impulsive/irrational/erratic/brash/dumb/the angry robin!”

WRONG

let me break it down for you fools because he’s actually like one of the most nuanced and complex characters to ever bless my presence (and he’s the best ((my fav)) robin argue with the wall) (tldr at the end but please read the post)

Starting out as robin they are ALL orphans. because that’s like bruce’s thing. BUT dick and tim had families before bruce adopted them. Jason did not. HE GREW UP ON THE STREETS. (+10 points for truama✨) which led him to grow up to be independent and resourceful. Bruce literally met him because he was trying to steal the bat mobiles tires with the intent of reverse engineering them to sell to the people of gotham because bullet proof tires in that kinda city would save lives source

As for being brash. Yeah. he is. he lacks people skills because HE GREW UP ON THE STREETS. yet he still knows how to sympathize with people and not be an ass ALL the time. he’s cocky sure but it’s a defensive mechanism after years of being treated like he doesn’t have value/having to prove himself. and damien is worse lets bsffr.

He’s impulsive. (likely adhd) Teenager. next question.

He’s the angriest robin! he only ever wants vengeance! WRONG. dick is angrier! he was so petty he left gotham and got a new identity just as a fuck you to bruce. any anger Jason has is not unmatched or outdone by other robins and he is rightfully angry he’s been dealt a crappy hand in life. he’s jealous of dick because bruce was ALWAYS comparing him and telling heroic stories of dicks feats. it’s hard not to push yourself to be as good as or better than the og and not to crack under said pressure.

He’s dumb! NOPE. he is as smart if not smarter than tim. He is BRILLIANT when he wants to be. (see above: resourceful) if you take titans (cw) as canon (why wouldn’t u its as canon as any other tv show??) he is a GENIUS. he taught himself chemistry so he could invent and mass produce drugs. he had a genius strategy to fuck with the titans; the puzzle of clues for which dick needed scarecrow, kory, gar, and conner to solve. Not to mention him finding doctor light earlier in the season. He leads the outlaws bc he is a natural leader and good at handling the details!!

He’s a villain! OKAY AND? SO WAS HARLEY BUT WE LUV HER !! DAMIEN WAS A TRAINED ASSASAIN! he puts so much effort into helping people (see above: resourceful) HE RISKED/LOST HIS LIFE FOR IT. HE IS FIERCELY LOYAL. even as red hood he obtains a strict moral code; no drugs to kids or by schools, don’t kill innocent uninvolved people(depends on which media you’re looking at). serve karma on a gold platter. unlawful but USUALLY NOT unethical. he also becomes a vigilante (and the JL for a bit) and does so much good! none of them are perfect ALL of the time. and considering the other DC villains, he’s not that evil.

strength?? no problem! he almost beat dick and bruce several times in the comics!! source

not to mention his proficiency for new things (see above: chemistry) his whole time as robin he uses bat tech. but redhood uses guns and knives. he just picked that up and was a skilled marksman immediately. (also truama response after nearly dying to death stroke)

so what hes kinda fucked in the head. aren’t they all? isn’t that… the point? it’s justified after everything he’s been through AND it makes hims a better character, more 3D more realistic and relatable.

also for the sake of this thesis partially disregard the wonderful work of art that is WFA it’s a fixit. for a reason. because the it was broken and needed fixing.

TLDR; you don’t have to like Jason Todd, or think he’s the best Robin, but you have to admit, he is a complex, layered, well written character. And stop mischaracterizing him and dumbing him down to this impulsive, angry, weak kid.

bonus: my Jason playlist

[discocandles]

Jason Todd, but he's not around the batfamily very often, bc i can.

It's not unusual for Jason to just kind of be gone for anything bat-esque for a while. Sure he'll still be in Gotham doing some crime fighting, but just not make many appearances in Wayne Manor/the Batcave.

And it's not out of sheer spite, surprisingly enough. its bc after being a crime lord then quitting to be an anti-hero, he came to the realization that being Red Hood couldn't be the only thing he was using his life for. he would end up like Bruce, only using a civilian identity when he absolutely had to. But Jason Todd was legally dead, so he wouldn't ever have to be a civilian, but at the cost of losing himself to a vigilante identity. I don't believe Jason would want to take that risk.

So he makes a fake identity so he can live in a (shaky) routine as a civilian. He still goes by Jason, given its a common enough name. but he changes his last name to Devoss, as it has the same meaning as todd but is of Dutch decent rather than english, bc I'm the kind of nerd that still wants names to mean the same thing even it's not the point whatsoever, so Jason is too. Plus its better than most of the name changes DC has done.

Anyway. Jason's "routine". The only reason it could be considered a routine is bc he typically goes to the same places. he drops by the same coffee shop at least three times a week, frequents the same gym, and visits the library about once a week. he's in the bare minnimum of consistency & sticks to it.

Despite being given enough money from Bruce to count as a solid income, Jason still lives in walking distance of Crime Alley. the landlords there don't care who you are so long as you pay rent, bc who wants to live near Crime Alley? barely anyone. Later he gets a job, which actually cements his routine. he works as a chef in a chain restaurant, and he's so good at it, it's like hes being petty about it.

Actually, being petty is the most common thread most of the people who know Jason Devoss as an aquaintance have. He's petty about entitled customers who start screaming in at his regular coffee stop, if someone he tends to work out with has a cheating partner and the assholeperson has a hole in thier can of mace and their knife is suddenly dull(neccessities in Gotham), Jason has no clue how someone could manage that. Absolutely none.

Ok, back to Jason getting a job. So like I said earlier, Jason gets a job as a line cook, bc they really dont keep people from the job unless you're actively supposed to be in Arkham(exemptions can be made for blackgate). Which is why having a civilian identity is helpful, bc being both legally dead and spending some time as a mob boss probably wouldn't jive with any hiring manager ever. But he's able to make himself a normal part of the scenery, and makes the most effective closing shift, totally not be he has patrol that he's already late for. He begins to have to switch between taking orders and making food.

And this is how he ends up meeting Bernard, bc they have to work together to figure out what Tim would want. Jason realizes that this isn't some other kid named Tim he thinks "oh this is going to be rich." bc no one in the family has been to his work so far since he started working in the front of house, and he hasn't mentioned it to them.

So Tim walks in, and sees his bf, then he sees Jason, who just says "Oh, you must be Bernard's boyfriend. Nice to meet you." Smiling like he's never done anything remotely wrong in his whole life. Now Tim is questioning everything and can only repond with something akin to "Mhmm yup. Nice to meet you too." & is on edge for the rest of the date, bc his brother is being paid to watch his date, and will interrupt them for refills or other nonsense when he was beginning to forget Jason was there.

Bonus points if it's before Tim introduces Bernard to the family.

The batfamily knows where he is, and he knows they know. No one who has met Batman once can have him be unaware of their whole family tree, of course he knows where his son is. Jason will sometimes get visits, most often from Duke, be despite the fact that Crime Alley is mostly terrible, the sunset view is pretty dang good.

Duke will just be sitting on his couch when he gets home, like "you wanted to talk?" to which he and Jason will simply chat. and jason will often give critiques to Duke's technique.

The other common visitor is steph, but that's most ofting in the form of her ding dong ditching him,

-

[kariachi]

Random: As y’all know I write Kev as trans because nobody can stop me I am the god of this blog, and normally I have him having done the whole ‘I am a dude’ thing pre-OS because, well, canon exists, but sometimes, just sometimes, the image of an AU wherein that wasn’t the case comes to mind. Wherein the ‘I am a dude’ thing happens between OS and AF. Multiple images in my head-

The Tennysons hear Labrid say the name Levin, and there’s the dark hair, the crime, and they’re just sharing looks over Labrid’s head like ‘is this a relative? is this a family trend?’ only for it to slowly sink in as more and more of the crimes he lists become familiar and by the time he’s run off to start shit their eyes are blown wide and you can see them going back and changing pronouns in their memories

Same as the above except they don’t catch on until after that first fight, while they’re wondering what Kev’s problem is and Kev is pissed they apparently forgot him until it sinks in for him that ‘oh, yeah, I still thought I had to be a girl back then...’ and for them that ‘oh, oh this is not a different Levin’ and it’s just incredibly awkward on both sides, counterbalanced with Labrid being completely oblivious to literally everything except the job at hand

The Tennysons aren’t paying attention and so miss Labrid’s naming and crime listing, and Kevin’s attacking Ben is less blatantly a ‘we’ve got beef’ thing, and so they manage to just completely miss that they know him, Kevin spends episodes incredibly confused about why they’re acting like he’s just some other criminal they’re dealing with and not, ya know, somebody who tried to murder them brutally, only to eventually realize that between transing his gender, and using other facets of his powers, and how little they saw of his actual shape rather than his chimeric form they do not know he’s the same person, leading to this being the most drama-riddled image as he then has to decide whether to inform them of the situation and risk all the shit that could come from that (bonus points if Argit is sat there suggesting he not specifically because he finds the Tennysons not having a clue hilarious)

All of them are fantastic in their own special way. You can also mix-and-match by having one Tennyson figure it out before the other. Or instead of the other. Ben having to pull Kevin aside to ask if it’s okay if he pulls Gwen aside and explains the whole situation could make for an amazing plotline for a filler episode.

[sholangagaga]

Gregory is Michael Afton Theory

Bonus (4/4)

Gregory being Michael allows Mike to have a better dad.

The save stations have Helpy on them, and Michael knows Helpy from Pizza Sim.

If Gregory is C.C, shouldn’t it show the Fredbear plush?

Michael has a chance to beat PeePaw up with a crowbar.

After working to stop his father for so long, Michael deserves this.

Gregory doesn’t have to be an animatronic for this theory!

Michael could have been reincarnated or something similar.

If not an animatronic, Michael gets his organs back. He could eat again.

Link to Google Doc with entire theory in once place & Game Theory's Gregory theories: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c2jvwePYHwvmc1DoaqY9qPpczOL9njJL9jiH1tN0qtw/edit?usp=sharing

I didn't reply to the first pieces since you linked the doc here BUT full analysis under the cut

So I'm gonna start by saying this is one of the strangest (in a good way) and most interesting SBB theories I've ever been prosed. Honestly if I was someone who wasn't so ingrained in the lore due to my AUs, I would probably believe this as near infallible. It's THAT well thought out (And this is coming from someone who doesn't really Like Game Theory cause they've been known to kinda pull rabbits from hats, if you know what I mean)

Now I will be overly analytical and pick this apart as my neurons fire a mile a minute

Physical Appearance

While I can see the resemblance, half of the FNAF canon roster is either brown haired or hinted to have dark hair (excluding some of the blonde Aftons and also William, depending on who you ask)

Most of the canon characters are also big fans of Foxy (See Phone Guy for example; I'm pretty sure Foxy is/was Scott's favorite back in the original games. He was also terrified of Bonnie funny enough)

Personality

The Gregory being agitated thing is true, but also, can you REALLY blame him? His entire situation is pretty stressful, I think I'd be a real asshole in that premise as well. Michael's sarcasm has been a known point for sure, the dude canonically loves soap operas he's probably the snarkiest dude around (and I love him for it)

All of this tick marks tbh are just sorta occupational. Gregory not trusting anyone makes sense because he's an orphan who apparently was treated poorly in the streets. OF COURSE he doesn't really like adults, least of all adults in uniform. Michael is paranoid at work because he works in a setting where the robots are trying to kill him

The destroying the bots thing is, again, very understandable. Gregory spent the night trying to survive, he could care LESS how the robots feel. He wants them to stop trying to kill him! Same with Michael, they've fucked him over and its not like theyre living things. Getting rid of them wouldnt be much of a moral dilemma

Storyline

Gregory knows that Freddy has a stomach hatch because its common knowledge. His stomach hatch is for birthday cakes, which means it's perfectly logical for him to know it exists. In the same vein, he would know hiding inside it would be dangerous. Its meant for cake, not kids! Gregory was bold to even attempt it imo but he's a very reckless kid

The family one is SO GOOD but also, unfortunately, can easily be debunked as a basic voiceline for lost children. It's a super mall, children probably get lost all the time. The best way to lure a child (according to William) is to mention their family/things they like. It worked for him, it would work for fan favorite robots

I think thee reason why Gregory seems so adult is because, well, it IS a scripted game. But everything Gregory does is basically spoonfed to him by Freddy, so I don't think it's more so that he's overly smart or working on prior knowledge, its just hes good at context clues and following instructions

I have my own gripes about the Parts and Service system, but for game sake Gregory only succeeds cause failing means death. But yeah all my homies hate P&S

In universe, it would make sense that Gregory hates the Franchis cause....Fazbear Ent fucked up ALOT for a VERY LONG TIME. Most people still hate them, as evident from when HandUnit/Dread Unit just sorta always mentions "forget the past us" and shit like that. It's like being in our universe and hating Amazon for Bezos. Same concept, totally understandable.

The van thing is just funny, I love that one. Little baby driving heehee

My biggest problem with the theory is the gaps. While we don't know FOR SURE when everything takes place, the general consensus is FNAF 3 takes place in 2020 (and if you're one of the Michael is the Fnaf 3 protag believers, that's pretty significant) and SUPPOSEDLY, Pizzeria Simulator most likely takes place between 2023-onward, with Security Breach really close on the heels of it since It's built over the Pizza Place where Henry, William, and Michael all initially die. If Gregory is as old as most fans assume/agree (11-9) then there's no way he can be a reincarnation of Michael cause Michael didn't actually die/lost his remnant until Pizzeria Simulator, and then SB takes place less than 5 or so years after that (According to most theories)

I think its way more plausible that Gregory is a reincarnation of Evan/Crying Child and FREDDY is Michael, because not only does that give us a way better theory premise but it also closes out the Afton family storyline, with the two sons teaming up against their father. Gregory being different personality wise to Evan/the Crying child could easily be explained by Evan getting corrupted by Cassidy's negative remnant before she forced him out during the events of UCN/FNAF3. Could also just be the Afton sass if you wanted to be really dig into it. I could probably go on forever about that theory since I've been thinking about it for a while now

BUT in conclusion while I really like this theory, there's too many holes to really convince me to latch to it like I do other theories. Then again, it IS just a theory. A game theory

[blorbologist]

26 and 37

26. You must swap one nat 1 die roll with one nat 20 die roll. They must both be from the main campaigns, but can be cross-campaign. Which are they, and why?

Ooooof, how dare you make me have to do research for this? :vvv

See, I'm torn between making them both of similar magnitude or pulling a cheap shot and taking a nat 20 that didn't matter much to swap for a nat 1 that did matter.

Okay, let's take two important ones and make them both WORSE, because I'm a bastard

For the 1 -> 20, hmmm let's say Caleb trying to persuade Essek to pretty please let him invite mages that want to kill them both onto this expedition. Gives Liam his bisexual maelstrom early, and it would so badly fuck with their dynamics. Would Caleb backshift into bad coping mechanisms? Would Essek call him out? Would Trent or Astrid or Wulf try to kill either of them? What the fuck! Just about one of the few times I think a high roll would actually be worse for everyone involved. Another that came to mind was Kaylie's initial confrontation with Scanlan. (A good one to turn into a 20 would be the Sunken Tomb 'Sam immediately jokes it's instant death and SIKE IT IS', because it would change SO MUCH of the campaign.)

For the 20 -> 1 :) well since you got me in an angsty mood :) True Love's Nat 20 made into True Love's Nat 1. Even if the roll had succeeded over-all thanks to the other contributions, I can't see Percy coming back if he didn't hear Vex specifically. We'd have Molly in Campaign 1. Vex might do something reckless and Briarwoods-esque to bring him back (winks loudly at Nova). Completely derail everything. (Of course, there's any number of villain Nat 20s turning into Nat 1s would likely be huge net positives, but I don't feel like researching any more than I already have :V)

37. You have to take a 16 hour road trip with one NPC from each campaign (all at once, ie, three other people). The NPCs cannot shorten the road trip in any way and the road trip must be via driving but you can do it in two 8 hour days and share a motel room if you'd like. Who do you pick?

... I read this as PC at first FUCK ME. Including the two I'd written for PCs + why I didnt pick my fav under the cut as a lil bonus.

a) Essek. Okay, hear me out: yes he is a war criminal, but he's also dealt with trying to get grant money and as someone procrastinating on two deadlines rn? mood. I'd poke his brain for hours about blasphemous magic if I could. Also, soup is cheap for when we're done for the day and an easy meal. I think he'd either be a perfectionist backseat driver or a panicky one and either way the research talk is worth it to me ok. I'll survive.

b) Vesper - never said specials were excluded, and she IS in her 30s by this point in the timeline! We have no clue about her personality, but I think, given her family, she's likely very smart and good conversation. Has money to throw at any problems we run into. Also allows me to get De Blorbo lore without wanting to throttle her dad. If she doesn't count because she's a Baby in the oneshot she's in, I guess Cass? Look I adore her but I worry she's never driven a day in her life + trauma + is a noble would make her a pain in the ass to be stuck in a car with, BUT I love her enough I'd take it in stride For Her.

c) Imahara Joe. Look! He's a vibe! If anything goes wrong he can fix it! He can keep conversation going! I have huge Mythbusters nostalgia!

a) Caleb! I think we could talk about our respective cats for hours, or I'd hope we could, and talk magic-science, and Keen Mind would make keeping rest stops/the time/maps/etc. in mind a breeze. And if he isn't up to talk he would just! be quiet! and read a book! which is good for my stress brain! And if both of us are overstimmed that's a 50% vote on getting people to turn the music fucking down so we can relax.

b) Fjord, actually? He's captn' Tusktooth, he knows how to organize a voyage and what goes into sharing cramped quarters with other people for hours on end and how to keep distracted and not kill eachother. Plus, Star Razor is a convenient flashlight if ever. His music selection would also likely be fun to sing as a whole car together - shanties or good roadtrip songs.

c) oufff this one's hard.

(I'm Not saying Percy because so help me I'd want to throttle him within the hour. Beau would bully me I think. Both are also so hot and my favs I think I'd die and be incapable of driving. Laudna would also make Noises with her Existing and I think I'd lose my marbles, sorry babe :c)

[littlegnome145]

(Squirtle actually gets to keep a found family for once au) You know, if we go with the idea both Charmander and Bulbasaur are dead... I'd totally think Chimchar and Turtwig were their reincarnations or something [the image of this happening and 1) Charchar has the worst lick with dying and 2) Bulbawig got a real personality change in the reborn process didnt he]

Anon I frigging love reincarnation story lines so u have left me in a super big brainrot rn

Ok so, in the sagtkaffo au, Bulbasaur is alive and if I continue writing it, he will eventually be found

So let's call this what if scenario "reincarnation au" bc oh boy I love that concept.

Alright, so when it comes to reincarnation stories there is always the big question of just how it would work. Overall there are 2 ways it usually goes:

1) The fact they are a reincarnation shows up with unconscious things about the character. The way they act, their morals and values, their quirks, etc. Bonus points if they at some point get little memories of the individual prior to the reincarnation, mostly in dreams.

2) Who they reincarnate from watches over them in some way. Usually like a protective spirit- depending on how the character ended up the spirit can present itself in a lot of different ways.

I love both interpretations, so screw it, I'll think of it like a mixture of both.

So here are some fun things I thought about this:

1) The Sinnoh kids and Wartortle/Squirtle have no clue about it. Not necessarily bc they get no clues, no they are just really stupid Charmander and Bulbasaur, who pretty much have to watch everything and can rarely interact with them in any significant way, are constantly frustrated with this.

Squirtle/Wartortle, at times, gets very close to realizing it, but it never leads anywhere. He always just ends up thinking that it's a coincidence/his mind playing tricks on him.

2) Both Bulbasaur and Charmander don't know all that much about what happened during the caterpie war, much less what happened after that.

Which leads to them trying to influence the kids into asking more questions about it. They do it in their own ways, maybe Charmander mostly does it by constantly saying specific questions to Chimchar all day, making the kid think he judt had that question on his mind all day for some reason. Or Bulbasaur, maybe on purpose, maybe not, ends up making Turtwig have dreams with some of his past memories, which makes him more curious about certain specific details.

The main issue, is that Wartortle lies alot. And they know it. The sinnoh kids are usually able to tell, but not always, and it drives the dead duo, especially Charmander up the wall, especially since Bulbasaur won't tell him much either- and while sure he himself doesn't know all that much, it is still more than Charmander and he hates it.

3) the Sinnoh kids, on their own, end up having some of the dead duo's quirks. Some of them are harmless, like Turtwig looking for hats- which Wartortle usually ends up stealing for him or helping him make little flower crowns; or Chimchar starting to call Turtwig veggieburger from time to time- which, doesn't last long because both of them can tell that it makes Wartortle sad for some reason, so he eventually stops.

But others are not as harmless, like Turtwig being uncharacteristically gullible for no reason, or protecting his family from poison attacks because he, for some reason, thought he had an immunity to it.

Or Chimchar getting even more violent and cheating during battles. Sure the kid was far from a pacifist, but he always followed the rules in fights, or him going so far as to use some something- anything that could be used as a weapon, like a shiv.

Bulbasaur and Charmander don't make them do that. They did it on their own, but the fact that they are their reincarnations and that the dead duo are always close by has it's influences, even if accidental. Wartortle notices these things, but never really realizes _why_ it's happening. Poor guy has a few heart attacks every once in a while because of said situations, however- which can be either funny or downright depressing for the dead duo depending on the context.

3) I think in this au Wartortle is aware about Bulbasaur's death, and him talking about his old friend's so called "happy ending" was just one of his better lies. The dead duo, however, cannot really tell if he knows or not, and are also not all that sure if he should know- since the guy is already a whole mess. They get more suspicious when the sinnoh kids keep insisting on looking for Bulbasaur in Kanto, only for him to deny it every time.

At some point, he finally admits that Bulbasaur is dead, that he had lied and the dead duo can't help but be relieved.

4) Maybe the dead duo can be seen every once in a while, both by the sinnoh kids and others, but it has to be in very specific contexts. Like, maybe Chimchar could have seen glimpses of Charmander when he was almost dying in the mountain, and the spirit just kept screaming at him to stay alive, to not give up. He probably tried to stop Chimchar from climbing the mountain all together, by trying to talk to him, even though he knows that it's not gonna do pretty much anything substantial.

Same thing with Bulbasaur, but the difference is that the way they do it is usually very different.

Like Charmander will scream, and throw insults and maybe there will be some hopeful message in the middle.

Bulbasaur is usually more quiet and nervous, trying to coax Turtwig out of bad ideas or comfort him when he's in mortal danger.

Maybe ghost types and certain legendaries can see them. Like Mewtwo, and he is mostly just annoyed that the reason those two had not helped him for all of these years is because they had died. Maybe when he finds Wartortle and the sinnoh kids he is so tired from 10 years of battling that it takes a minute or two for him to realize that he had not been screaming at Bulbasaur and Charmander, but instead their reincarnations and is the one who, finally, breaks the knews to the trio that "hey you know your friends that died years ago? Yeah, they reincarnated as the kids you adopted and have also been following the three of you this whole time" dhdhdhdh

5) Maybe at some point, regardless of Bulbasaur being dead, they go to Kanto and end up seeing some old faces again, specifically from the caterpie army. And while Wartortle has mixed feeling about them, he certainly does not hate them, so his stories about the bug type team are always pretty neutral.

But, Charmander for one, absolutely hates them. They're the ones who killed him after all, and not just that, in his eyes, everything that happened to Squirtle and Bulbasaur during the war had been the caterpies' fault, so he can't stand them! Bulbasaur has, like Wartortle, mixed feelings on them, and at times can get uncomfortable when it comes to the caterpies- especially if he ended up dying in some avoidable way the caterpies did not handle well, like a fire and him still being trapped in the cave or something.

And since the dead duo have such strong feelings about them, those emotions carried on in someway in the sinnoh kids. Maybe Chimchar gets inexplicably angry or defensive at them sometimes, or Turtwig, even though the visit had been mostly pleasant, feels unreasonably claustrophobic and just wants to get out of the caterpie's hideout as soon as possible.

If the leader is still alive, they would probably think that Wartortle had told the children the worst stories about the group, but get very confused when the turtle says that he had actually censored most of the bad stuff. And, again, since Wartortle is an awful liar, the leader believes him- but just ends up getting very confused.

I ended up talking a bit more than intended, but I genuinely love these kinds of concepts! If I get some time I draw/write something on it at some point :)

[7arami]

OMG I love the idea of Billy and Bruce body swapping. Like imagine Billy just being absolutely overwhelmed by just how rich the Bruce Wayne is. Like one moment he’s in an abandoned building that hes transformed into a makeshift home and the next he’s in some nice ass car with a fucking butler. And I love thinking about the Batfam’s reaction. Like Alfred was just enjoying a silent car ride home and all of sudden he just hears a scream coming from the back. He turns around only to be met with a very panicked and disorganized Bruce Wayne. I can just imagine the whole Batfamily being low-key scared meeting this version of Bruce, one that can’t stop rambling, one that is clearly overwhelmed and anxious, yet is still making dumb jokes and behaving a bit more childish. Like this isn’t Bruce playing up his “Brucie” persona. Also bonus points if Billy “homeless street-rat” Batson has no clue who Bruce Wayne is and why he is so important.

Bruce is having a very bad time in Fawcett city, he’s hungry, thirsty, cold, and oh yeah hes also a fucking child. I could also imagine Bruce having an internal struggle because Billy could pass as Bruce when he was child. And look I get it Batman is resourceful and smart and whatever but he stills rich, he may help out the poor and stuff but he doesn’t actually know what it’s like to live on the streets so I can totally see him struggling. In this case Bruce is much weaker, has none of his gear, and no money to fall back on. He’d probably be mostly relying on his family to find him because there’s not much he can do.

Basically I can see this becoming Billy (in Bruce’s body) and the rest of the family going on a goose chase for a confused Bruce in 10 year olds body.

Captain Marvel & The Switched Minds Trope

Have y'all ever seen that episode of Justice League Unlimited where Lex Luthor switches minds/bodies with the Flash and a whole bunch of shenanigans happen? Yeah, I barely remember it, I need to do a re watch of the show some time, but it gave me a neat little idea.

What if that trope was used for Captain Marvel, with one of three people

Batman

Black Adam

Mr. Mind

If Captain Marvel switches bodies with Batman, imagine the hilarity if it happens while they are out of costume. Billionaire Bruce Wayne suddenly being mind/body swapped into the body of 10 year old homeless kid Billy Batson, and each of them having to navigate a day like that. Bruce wouldn't be happy, but at the very least he'd get a day of returning back to his childhood, getting to be a kid for just a little bit again. Or. We could go for the route where they mind swap while in costume, and Batman in Captain Marvel's body tries to investigate who his secret identity is, all the while hating that Captain Marvel in his body and making himself look like a fool in Gothom. (Which then results in a Batman (Captain Marvel) in Fawcett and and Captain Marvel (Batman) in Gothom. Ohhh, and the delicious angst of when Batman says shazam and finds out about Billy Batson!

If Captain Marvel switches minds with Black Adam, there are just so many fun and dark opportunities to show off just how malicious Black Adam can be once he has his hands on the powers of the Champion of Magic, even if just temporary. He'd wreck havoc and become a tyrant, striking terror into the world and earning the concerned and anger of the Justice League, who are under the impression this is still the real Captain Marvel. Black Adam won't even try to lie and attempt to remove them from his path, but when his fist is met with his own, Black Adam will learn the true meaning of never underestimating your opponent, especially yourself. Could definitely bring in some possibilities like showing off how strong Billy Batson is and a cool identity reveal.

As for Mr. Mind, I'm really interested in seeing a mind swap happen with him. Seeing as how their bodies and selves are drastically different, and how his mind control powers could be a factor in this. Kinda like that Kafka situation, if i remember the name right, there could be some amazing parallels of written well enough.

Billy in Mr. Minds body trying to warn the JL of Mr. Mind's plans, but, he is but a worm. He'd have to rely on using Mr. Mind's monstrous powers to relay the information needed, and maybe get the help of a certain pair of supersons (Tiny worm and tiny super powered children team up). Mr. Mind in Captain Marvel's body would be....

A threat.

Oh, there's also the option of Billy swapping bodies with Lex Luthor. Haha. Now THAT would be a rollercoaster of fun.

Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now, and just me saying that I really want to read/write a fanfiction where Captain Marvel (Billy) mind swaps with someone. Might not have expressed everything that I wanted to say correctly, but it's late right now and I am full of oatmeal, so I'm quite sleepy.

Please send me y'all's thoughts and opinions, I love it when y'all include your own things!

@wolfsbanesparks

especially you wolf, I was gonna send this as an ask to you but it got way too long in the end

[shadowxamyweek]

You are SO right about Shadow joining GUN being absolute garbage. Why can’t Team Dark just do their own thing, like being bounty hunters? That would be so much cooler

Yes. Yes yes. Very much yes.

Saying this, you also- you set off fireworks in my mind and gave me an idea. What do you think of this:

Artifact Thieves, Recoverers, and Traders.

They can absolutely do people too, but, well, you know Rouge. She'll pick a local clean so fast you won't know what hit you.

Want some jewels stolen? They've got it. Want stolen artwork recovered? They can do it. Why call Interpol and have them take years when they can have your priceless painting back in a fortnight?

And if there happens to be a bounty on the head of an art theif, well, Rouge and the crew will take the reward and anything in the vault while they're there.

To get meta into this in a way where it would actually feature in a Sonic game... come on this ride with me.

Robotnik means Worker in Polish. 50 years before the release of SA2 in 2001 was 1949 so shortly after the end of WWII. During WWII, Axis powers stole copious amounts of art from invaded territories. That would include Poland (or, you know, the Sonic world equivalent for all of this.) So let's assume Gerald was originally from Poland.

Remember how Metal contacted the Chaotix in Heros? What if Eggman reaches out, disguised or not, to try and have Team Dark locate Robotnik heirlooms?

OBVIOUSLY it's a ploy to find a secret weapon hidden by that side of the family (he does pontificate about a liniage of genius) but it would allow us to have some cool game play and world exploring, clue hunting, puzzle solving, fun level design. Plus, I'd LOVE to see how Shadow handles having to deal with the bullshit he swears he has put behind him (but putting something behind you and actually dealing with it are two different things, aren't they?)

Bonus points if we also get to play as Team Sonic because Knuckles believes they've had a hand in Echidna artifact trafficking (which they have NOT) and he is pissed, so he drags Sonic and Tails along to put a stop to this. Tails and Sonic help OBVIOUSLY because he is their friend and, if he's right, that's really fucked up, but they also get the inkling that Eggman is up to something.

Fuck, I'd love to do a merging storyline like in SA2 with two polar viewpoints again, and have qctual world building, and-and- *babbles as they get dragged off*

[readerstories]

Horse Whisperer - Tommy Shelby x male!reader

This got so long so quick. Hope you enjoy! (AO3)

Warnings/tags: boss/employee relationship, friends to lovers, fluff (link to bonus smut at the end)

Wordcount: 3418

Request: Tommy x m reader R is good with horses. Rides and takes care of them, but Tommy notices him when he is able to calm down a horse that went completely wild. He finds himself intrigued in this 'horse whisperer'. They share their love for horses and it develops into love for each other. That leads to secret meetings, one pulling each other to the side for quick kisses, riding together etc.

Horses have always been the one animal you gravitate towards. Cats and dogs were okay, but they were nothing compared to horses. You loved them and as you got older, you found yourself working with them, and over time, gaining a reputation for being a hard stable worker who treats the animals well. Which is how you find yourself working on the Shelby estate, taking care of the Shelby family’s horses.

You rarely see any of them, and you have yet to meet Thomas Shelby, your employer, since the stable master had been the one to hire you. You don’t mind, as the horses are your number one priority. You have of course heard about them all, the rumors, the brutality, everything, but they seem to care about their horses, so you don’t care about anything else.

The first time you meet, or rather see Thomas Shelby is when the farrier comes to the stable to check over and shoe some of the horses. It’s a day with some bustling activity as horses are moved back and forth, but it’s all going well.

Until the last horse. A grey stallion named Tom-Tom you had warned them to be slow with, and that they shouldn’t move or even touch him without you there. You know him well. The horse gets nervous easily, and several hundred kilos of a nervous horse is bad news for everyone involved.

Which is why, when you return from taking a piss, you swear as you notice two stable-hands leading him out of his box.

Tom-tom is already agitated, so you increase your pace, keeping yourself from running or shouting just knowing that would make everything worse. It doesn’t help however, as seconds later there’s a loud clatter from somewhere in the stable as something is dropped, and Tom-Tom has had enough.

He neighs loudly and trashes around, the two men leading him barely hanging on to the ropes fastened on either side of his halter. Not deterred and panicking more by the second, Tom-Tom neighs again, this time rising up on his hind legs.

This time the ropes are dropped, and when his front is back on solid ground, Tom-Tom starts running towards the stable door. People dive out of his way, in no way thinking about trying to stop the panicked animal. Only one of the two stable doors were left open, but now Tom-Tom busts the other one open with his shoulder. Someone yells out in surprise on the other side and you swear, taking off after Tom-Tom, not even bothering to yell at the stupid idiots who took him out his box. You will get to them later.

Seconds later you’re outside too, eyes quickly landing on Tom-Tom where he’s pacing, almost running back and forth on the large open space in front of the stable. You quickly note the two men in peaky caps next to the stable door, which must have been the ones to yell, but you pay them no mind, all focus on Tom-Tom as you try to get the horse’s attention.

“What the fuck was that?” One of the peaky men yells, mustache quivering.

”Shut the fuck up or the horse is going to get worse you sod.” You purposefully try not to yell, but your voice comes out forceful nonetheless. It looks like he’s about to say something more, but the other man puts a hand on his shoulder, seemingly to stop him. It works, and you turn your attention back to Tom-Tom.

He is still pacing, not calming down in the slightest. You call his name over and over again as you slowly, every so slowly, creep closer to him.

A few feet away you stop, reaching out a hand towards him.

A few more strides, then Tom-Tom slows, before finally coming to a stop not far from your outstretched hand. He is still nervous as you approach once more, legs twitching, ears flicking back and forth, frothing ever so slightly at the mouth. You keep your voice low and even, talking to him as you get closer.

“That’s it, good boy. You doing better now?” When your hand makes contact with Tom-Tom’s mule, his head snaps up just once, before he puts his mule back in your hand. You move it slowly upwards, tracing your fingers up to his forehead, close to his mane.

“That’s it, that’s it.” You almost whisper, walking just a little bit forward so you can move your hands along his neck, ignoring the ropes for now. You talk slow and low, praising him for calming down and not running away as you slowly move your hand along his neck.

Tom-Tom moves his head so it’s over your shoulder, putting some weight against your shoulder and back.

Your hand moves from his neck down to the shoulder he banged into the stable door on his way out. It feels alright, slightly warm, but you can’t be sure nothing is damaged before walking him around for a bit.

Still being slow, you take a few steps back, Tom-Tom moves his head so you can look at him again. You untie one of the ropes from his halter, letting it fall to the ground, before gently starting to lead a slightly less twitching Tom-Tom away from the stable.

You hear the peaky man from earlier say something, you’re not sure if it’s directed at you or your companion, but you don’t care. You however feel eyes burning into your back, so you glance over your shoulder, your eyes connecting to intense blue eyes watching you from under a peaky cap.

----

A little while later, you return Tom-Tom to his box, satisfied that he will most likely be fine, though you will need to keep an extra eye one him for a few days. Then you talk to the farrier and get him to agree to return in a week, a smart man after having worked with horses for long.

After that, you find the two morons that took Tom-Tom out of his box without you. They were currently cleaning saddles, but you stop them in their work. Standing just inside one of the two doors to the rooms, you give them a verbal lashing. It’s at the tail end of this that Tommy Shelby finds you. You see the eyes of both boys grow wide, and one of them actually interrupts you.

“Uh-”

“What?!” You bite out. The boy doesn’t answer, instead pointing behind you. You turn around and leaning in the doorway is the man with the blue eyes from earlier.

“What do you want?” Blue Eyes raises a brow.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving these boys a reminder that they shouldn’t be stupid and do things they shouldn’t when they have been told multiple times not to do something.” Your tone is clipped, annoyed with the interruption. Blue Eyes doesn’t seem faced.

“Is that so?” He flickers his gaze to the boys behind you, and before you can really process what’s going on, the other door to the room slams behind the boys as they make themselves scarce. Blue eyes give you a once-over. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“I recognize the cap, you’re a peaky blinder, but other than that I got no fucking clue.” You cross your arms over your chest, the man almost seems like he is having fun.

“Is that a tone to take with your employer?” His tone is neutral, face much the same except a little twinkle of something you can’t recognize in his eyes.

“My employer is the stable master.”

“And his employer?”

“Thomas Shelby.” His brow is raised yet again, and a few seconds is all you need. “Ah, evening Mr. Shelby.” You uncross your arms, fishing out your cigarettes from your back pocket, taking one out.

“If you want to fire me for not being polite earlier, there are easier ways.” You offer him a cigarette, and to your surprise he pushes of the door frame and takes it. You light your own, then hand him the matches so he can use them. The flame dances briefly over his face as his attention is moved away from you, but just seconds later you got eye contact once more.

“I’m not here to fire you.” He says in an exhale of smoke.

“Then why are you here then Mr Shelby?” Your smoke mixes with his as you ask, wondering what this is.

“Please, call me Tommy.” You nod, furrowed brow, but Tommy keeps talking. “I just wanted to see the man that managed to calm down a wild horse.” You snort, already forgetting to even try keeping your response or tone in a fitting way for when talking to your boss.

“He was hardly wild Mr Sh- Tommy, he was just scared. I worked with Tom-Tom enough that I knew that, and I knew how to calm him down.”

“Still, an impressive feat to calm down a panicking animal.” Tommy’s eyes flicker all over you, and you suddenly notice how close he is standing to you. Every time either of you takes a drag of a cigarette, you can almost brush a hand against the other, smoke mingling as you talk. You take half a step back, unsure yet again of the situation you find yourself in. Tommy notices, but doesn’t comment on it other than a barely there tilt of his head. He seems to be sizing you up for something, but you have no idea what.

He mirrors you then, taking a step back too. A last drag of his cigarette before he stumps it out on the ground.

“I will see you around.” He doesn’t let you respond, out of the room and gone in seconds.

----

You don’t have to wonder much or long about what those words meant, as you do actually end up seeing him more after that little incident.

A lot more actually.

Before that day you had never even seen the man, but now, you see him at least once a week, if not more. He’s around the stable more, sometimes talking to the stable master, other times preparing for a ride, however the weirdest times are the ones where he comes around with an excuse to talk to you.

The first time it happens is a few days after the incident with Tom-Tom. He just wanders up while you are cleaning out his stable and asks you about him. You glance up at him, unsure why he is asking, but you start talking about Tom-Tom. You liked your job and talking to Tommy, your boss, was a sure way to keep that job. You end up talking through all your cleaning, and when you try to excuse yourself to do other work, Tommy insists you keep on talking, not letting go of you quite yet. You find it strange, but you do as you’re ordered.

That was the first time it happened, but not the last. Tommy will find you wherever you are, tell you to talk about something, most of the time the horses in the stable. You do so, and he mostly listens, sometimes coming on with comments or even stories of his own.

Surprisingly, Tommy loves horses too. You had thought he was just another rich man that had a lot of horses just because he could, but he genuinely seems to care about the animals. You sometimes see him feed them treats, giving them extra pats and attention when he thinks no one is looking. Hearing him talk about them is great too, sometimes he even smiles when talking about them, which you learn is something he doesn’t do a lot of.

Over time, your friendship of sorts grows strong, and you find yourself looking forward to the days Tommy comes to see you. It is a distraction from your work and the horses, but you don’t mind.

----

It’s night, and for once, the stable is quiet, almost no activity going on. Some horses are moving around in their boxes, and you can hear some animal rustling the bushes outside, but other than that, you’re alone with your lamp.

One of the mares, Lady, is only days away from birth, and to be on the safe side, you had suggested for you to watch her in the night. None of the others had wanted to do it, but you and the stable master were both content with it just being you. You know the old man is not long from retirement, and he was not about to stay up late when someone else he trusts can do it.

The only thing about doing night shifts like this was how boring and lonely it could be. Sitting on a hay bale outside Lady’s box, you try to enjoy or at least not mind the quiet. For a little while you had entertained yourself and Lady by humming, and even singing, some songs you knew.You tire of that quickly however, and have now settled on letting your thoughts wander before you try to find some work or really anything to do.

So when you hear quiet steps nearing the stables you are instantly on alert. No one else is supposed to be coming, and it’s still far until morning. The steps get closer and closer, before one stable door is pushed open, creaking as it reminds you that its hinges need oiling.

The first you see is a puff of smoke, and then Tommy enters the stable. He puts out his cigarette on the wall, throwing it outside, already aware of your ire for smoking near very flammable hay.

“Evening.” Tommy says, sounding weirdly formal for it being the middle of the night.

“Tommy, what are you doing here?” He keeps silent as he walks over to Lady’s box, peeking into it. You stand up so you're next to him.

“She looks about ready to go.” Tommy comments, keeping all of his attention on the horse except a brief glance at you.

“She is, which is why I’m here. But again, why are you here?” The silence stretches as Tommy says nothing, moving to lean his arms on the edge of Lady’s box. Lady doesn’t seem to care, as she munches on some hay.

“Couldn’t sleep.” The admission is quiet, almost like Tommy didn’t want you to hear him, so you pretend you didn’t. Sort of. You know he can use a distraction, knowing your own mind being like that when you’re the one who can’t sleep.

“Hey, let me show you something.” Tommy has to move back as you start to open the sliding door. Lady shifts her attention from her hay to you, blowing out some air from her nose.

“Come, come.” You say to her, reaching out your hand. She slowly takes a few steps towards you, pushing her nose into your hand, blowing some more air.

“Good girl.” You give her a scratch and then move out of the doorway of the now open box, letting her walk past you, into the hallway and right next to Tommy. Lady barely spares him a glance before walking towards the stable doors. You tug at Tommy’s arm for him to follow, grinning as he seems to be watching Lady with some skepticism. Opening the stable door for her, Lady slowly walks outside, stopping not far outside the doors, giving you time to close the doors behind her before she starts walking again.

You quickly catch up to her, as her steps are slow with how heavy she is. Tommy is quick to follow, walking behind you at the slow pace Lady has set. You can see Tommy thinking, glancing between you and her as you walk.

“And you still do not want to call yourself a horse whisperer, ey?” You snort.

“No, this is no horse whispering, this is trust built up over time.” Tommy doesn’t respond, so you let the silence linger, just enjoying the company. You let Lady steer the direction as she usually does, taking you on a short route that will lead you around some of the paddocks.

“It’s good for her to walk like this, both for her and the foal.” You tell Tommy, mostly to have something to fill the quiet night air with. He nods, seemingly lost in thought with his hands in his pockets as he walks beside you

It doesn’t take long before you return to the stable. Although Lady liked these walks, she  would only walk for so long with how big and slow she was. She patiently waits for you to open the stable doors for her, going straight for her box as she gets inside. She gulps down some water as you push the door to her box closed.

Lady peaks outside so she can take the small piece of apple you offer her. You offer the other piece to Tommy, who takes it, and in turn, offers it to Lady. She takes it, munching on it as she lets out a small neigh. You smile at her, then at Tommy.

“I think she likes you.” Tommy is watching her, slowly raising his hand towards her. She lets him pet her for a little bit before moving away, moving into her box, away from the both of you.

“I think I like her too.” Tommy’s voice is quiet and it’s only when he turns his head towards you that you realize how close you are to him. You perhaps only inches apart, closer than needs be in the deserted stable. Tommy is watching you with a look that you don’t recognize, eyes intense as his focus is solely on you.

“I-” Whatever you were about to say is lost as Tommy raises a hand to cup your cheek, surprisingly gentle for a man with such a fierce reputation. But that is also not what you know him as, is it? You know that he loves horses, that you like talking to him, that he is seemingly content to walk with you when he can’t sleep, that he-

Your thoughts are cut off when Tommy leans forward to press his lips to yours.

The kiss is short, barely there, you aren’t even really able to process it’s really happening before Tommy leans back, gauging your reaction

You don’t know what to say, so instead of even trying, this time it’s you who leans forward to capture Tommy’s lips with yours. He is quick to respond, the hand not holding your face pulling you in by the waist. Not to be outdone, one of your hands goes to his ribs, the other to his hip.

His lips are firm against yours, intense and hungry.

He pushes you and you go willingly, letting him push you against the nearest wall, not stopping to kiss you, introducing his tongue, letting him slowly coax your mouth open.

Which would have been wonderful to continue, but in that moment Lady decides to remind you both that it’s her box you’re leaning against and that she would like some peace and quiet. To do this she lets out a loud neigh, causing the two of you to jump, breaking the kiss as you almost jump out of your skin.

“Lady!” You chastiste her, all you get in response is a huff of air and her turning around so her behind is towards you. You huff too, focus returning back to Tommy. He’s watching you once more, letting his eyes wander as his hands stay on your face and waist. He’s warm and firm against you, making you want to stay like this for a good while longer.

“She doesn’t take kindly to being disturbed when she is trying to relax.” Tommy raises an unimpressed brow.

“Is this her or your way of telling us that we should take this elsewhere?” You give him a brief kiss, not letting him deepen it.

“I wish I could, but I need to stay and watch her, it’s my job.” Tommy sighs, leaning back and letting go of you. You wish he hadn’t, the night feels colder already.

“Another time then?” Again, gauging your reaction with intense eyes. You smile and nod, which gets an ever so slight smirk in return.

“Well then, good night.” Without more preamble, Tommy walks towards the stable door. He lights another cigarette, giving you a brief glance while doing so, before slipping out into the night.

----

(Bonus smut that has nothing to say for the plot of you want it)

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

So, Ana heard about annual Diaz family gathering and pushes Eddie to let her go with him. She brings it up so many times, so to shut her up he reluctantly took Ana there. He wasn’t sure it was time to meet family since they have been dating only a few months. It wasn’t serious. And he already was having doubts about their whole relationship because of her behavior: calling him “Edmundo” despite him asking her multiple times to stop doing that, trying to interfere with his (and Buck’s) parenting of Chris, constantly complaining about him spending time with his “coworkers” when he should be hanging out with her. Not to mention that she and Buck are not getting along at all, and Buck refuses to hear about her ever since the uber incident™. Christopher’s not a fan too.

Eddie tries to invite Buck with him for moral support and because he’s Buck. Then promptly finds out that he is already invited by Pepa, Abuela, Christopher and… his parents? Turns out, Ramon and Helena have been keeping in contact with Buck since the Texas wildfires, because how could they not? He’s such a sweetheart and apparently charms every Diaz he meets (what else is new😏).

Helena hears Ana complaining about Buck being here, about how many people are there and “I won’t even see the half of them again, why bother remembering their names? “. And in the first few minutes of the introduction she just knows: she won’t like this arrogant brat. You won’t be dating my boy for long, not on my watch.

Helena strongly dislikes Ana and is not hiding it at all. Ana tries to bond with Helena because she’s Eddie’s mother and her future mother-in-law (ha, in your dreams, lady😂), but Helena is having none of it and outright goes past her and straight to Buck. She wants to catch up with him.

Meanwhile, Eddie have a talk with his dad. He’s thinking he’s doing the right thing by dating a woman, a Latina woman (you poor repressed bi-boi). Ramon is not impressed:

“Mijo, what gave you the impression that we want you to have only Mexican partner? Are you aware that your mother is Swedish, not Latina? All that matters is that they are a good person and you’re happy with them.”

Eddie doesn’t miss the fact that his father keeps saying “they”, not “she”. He points it out. Ramon confesses that they suspected that Eddie is, in fact, not straight since before he was in high school. But because it was Texas they understood why he never came out. Eddie is shooketh.

Back to Buck. Ana tries to eavesdrop on Helena’s conversation, but alas, no such luck: Buck talks with Helena in fluent Swedish.

Eddie saw Ana eavesdropping on his mom and Buck, and got angry, he went to tell her off, but when he nears he sees that she looks constipated and like she has no fucking clue what are they talking about. Then with a jolt Eddie realizes they are speaking Swedish. He knew that Buck speaks Spanish (he lived in South America after all) but Swedish?

Helena and Buck are ✨talking shit✨about Ana right in front of her (you think we didn’t see you?), because they can and no one can call them out on it, except Ramon and Eddie, but those two are too busy swooning over listening how the loves of their lives speaking Swedish (those Diaz men, you sure know how to pick 'em 😄).

Bonus:

Christopher understands a little bit of Swedish (he lived first few years of his life with his grandparents after all, it was bound to happen) and having a blast over what his Abuela and his Buck are saying.

If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Okay so yknow the adele song 'rolling in the deep'

but these lyrics here;

"We could have had it all,

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hands

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)"

As shigadabi (or any other ship) angst

(Sorry if this doesnt make sense my mind is running in circle rn and had to get this off of my mind)

KEHEBEKHRBDKFIFJFO I MEAN YES

Consider:

The general situation is that Tomura refuses to go with the heroes and he thinks Dabi is a traitor for going back to his family.

At the same time, Dabi is very confused and angry because he thinks Tomura manipulated him into being a villain.

(Both idiots are wrong but when they are angry and sad, there's not stopping them. You know how it is.)

Tomura is the one singing in between lines and Dabi is singing the main lyrics.

Consider as a bonus the heroes finally getting to know what the hell was the type of relationship the League had with each other. gossip time.

Endeavor getting offended by Dabi having something not only with any guy, not only with a villain, but also with the biggest villain out there, WHO WAS HIS BOSS.

On the other hand, the League is like WE KNEW IT. YOU TWO GOT SOMETHING FOR THE OTHER.

It's like that one revelation during a dinner where the thing is said, there's a minute of silence and then everyone starts screaming at the same time and there's people standing, forks pointing, food flying.

Tomura and Dabi promising to ruin the other's life is sooooo funny to me because they're going from rivals / to boss and worker / to friends / to almost lovers / to enemies / to that one person that is not your ex but is kinda your ex / to bickering redemption partners / to bitter lovers with a bunch of regrets / to boyfriends.

No one have a clue of what's happening expect Izuku, who keeps track in one of his notebooks. He gives updates every Friday on the class 1-A dorms using PowerPoint presentations.

You know how Mamma Mia is just ABBA songs? This is the same but it's Shigadabi with Adele songs. Such drama queens.

Somehow Hawks keeps getting trapped in the middle of the situation because 1) he enjoys gossiping, 2) he goes to buy chicken wings at the worst times, several times a week, 3) both Tomura and Dabi hate him a lot so either they are using him against the other, or they are joining forces to hate him.

Class 1-B and class 1-A have bets about when are they going to kiss, who's gonna give up first, if it's gonna be romantic or kinda bloody, etc.

The entire Japan population agrees this is way better than having them around killing people. At least now they are more like a reality show or something.

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY ANGSTY, OKAY? DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE COMEDY.

Why? Because trust is a big deal for both Dabi and Tomura. Everything is laughter until Dabi starts screaming about how Tomura was the first person he trusted after what happened to him when he was still Touya, but he took him down a corrupting road and never cared to push him away, never care to help him, he never care about him at all. And Tomura starts screaming about how he knows he ruins everything he touches and gets killed all the people he had ever loved, but he's tired of people running away from him, specially if he likes that person. Growing up he could only think about how he was a monster and he never cared about anything as much as he cared about the League, but Dabi is making it sound like Tomura is like AFO, and it hurts more than any fight he has lived through. He's not like AFO. HE'S NOT LIKE HIM.

At some point Dabi goes back to his villainous ways right at the same time as Tomura starts redeeming himself. And it's a mess of a situation.

Tomura almost gets killed by AFO at some point, and they can barely save him. They take him to a hospital and the Todosiblings really need to restrain Dabi from burning down his way to Tomura's room because no visits are allowed.

You can imagine how guilty they both feel about the things they've implied about the other.

The Todosiblings stay with Dabi the whole night because they know Dabi is in a dark place and he can't be alone with his sadness. But after three nights, Dabi runs away to find the members of the League. He only feels sane with them around, even if it's because they have seen the worst of him and they have never judged.

When Tomura finally wakes up, Dabi is the one visit he gets, courtesy of Deku and Shoto influence.

Tomura refuses to look at the traitor walking into his room. Dabi is so angry and so sad and so worried, but he just stands there, feeling like he's burning again, the disappointment on Tomura all over his skin.

But they almost lost each other. Dabi will never forget how helpless he felt when he saw Tomura on TV fighting AFO, his body falling apart, his stupid red eyes dark and empty.

Tomura swallows how he could only think about the League while almost dying. He could only think I failed them I failed them I failed them.

It's Dabi who moves first, taking Tomura's hand. He's careful to not end up decayed.

Tomura almost yells and tries to push away, but Dabi takes it, rest his forehead on it, trembling.

And he sings quietly that stupid song.

“ I can't help feeling

We could've had it all ”

And Tomura sobs a little. He is being careful, but he asks in a tiny voice for Dabi to let go. He doesn't want to... He doesn't want to accidentally kill him.

Dabi refuses: “Your hand. It's cold.”

It's in that white room with dark curtains and a closed door that Dabi tells Tomura that he regrets meting him.

And Tomura's heart stops. Until he feels the drop of blood over his hand and hears the words that come after.

Dabi regrets meting him too late when he's already fucked up, when all he has is the same rage that is drowning his siblings, the same rage ...

... That had them both running around, Tomura finishes before Dabi could.

They talk. No one's knows what they talk about. No one knows what happens in that room that night.

They are still very angry, very sad, very many things, but they also know they are madly in love with the other and they don't want to crash and burn alone.

They made a pretty good team, in fact.

The end.

I need to stop getting carried away and giving you guys so much nonsense. Sorry.

[cranky-kyrati]

Cranky: Alright, if you'll step through here, please. Yang-yang: Step through where- Wait, the fourth wall? You're having me break the fourth wall? Cranky: Sure am!

PAGAN POETRY BONUS CONTENT! :D Today's questions are from my wonderful beta @neonbutchery, and Yang-yang is answering from the time of Act III, Chapter 10 (~April 2017).

Do you ever get a bad gut feeling about what you're doing? Ever wish you could run away, but can't, because you're on an island in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?

Yangzai: Not really? I was a bit miffed in the beginning, but honestly, it wasn't like my life back in Delhi was anything special. I would have liked to have been given the choice to move to Heathen Point in the first place, but I can't say I'm regretting how things turned out in the end. I get that Pagan is a walking disaster, but he's a hot walking disaster, who's letting me live on this paradise island. So far so good, y'know? Besides, an island in the middle of bumfuck nowhere is a great place to be in case there's, like, a global pandemic or something.

Cranky: ...

Yangzai: Yeah okay, that's a bit dumb. IT has been trying to get me into video games and introduced me to The Walking Dead and here we are... What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Cranky: ...moving on!

Do you think IT and Gary are being completely transparent and honest with you?

Yangzai: ... Do pigs fly?

Cranky: Yang-yang, please.

Yangzai: Ugh, fine. No, of course they aren't. Gary's going to tell me whatever he thinks will benefit Pagan or Bridgetown, and hide what he thinks needs to be hidden. I don't think he lies, as a general rule, but he's never transparent. And, like, that's part of his charm, in a way? Our chess matches aren't just about chess, it's this whole complicated dance of figuring out motives and predicting behaviour. It's fun! When it comes to IT, I think they genuinely respect Pagan's privacy so there's stuff they just won't talk about. Which is kinda funny when I think about it, considering their job and all.

What would your family think of your and Pagan's relationship?

Yangzai: *crosses arms* My parents were Golden Path. My auntie's husband was Golden Path. All dead. What the fuck do you think they'd say?

Cranky: ...yeah, fair enough.

Would you be up to Kasia visiting Heathen Point?

Yangzai: I... I don't know, honestly. I miss her a lot sometimes. But then a week will go by where I hardly think about her at all. It's good to have a friend you know you can really count on, and we had a lot of fun together. But she isn't part of this world, and I don't know if I would want her to be, even just for a brief visit.

What do you think the motive of Amita's capture by Pagan was? Is Pagan being completely honest with what went down on Kyrat before you met him?

Yangzai: Pagan has told me fuck-all about Kyrat. He sort of tried after my stint in solitary, and honestly that was mind-blowing all on its own. I guess Gary can really get through to him, huh? Anyway, he really doesn't like talking about it. And I'm not sure I want to hear about it from him, either? I don't know. It's complicated. Most of the time I don't think about Kyrat at all... Then sometimes I'll start thinking about everything I don't know about what really went down with my parents, with Pagan and Ishwari and all that, and it's like this itch on my brain that I can't seem to scratch. As for what Pagan wants with Amita, I have no clue. She was asking about his step-son or something? Maybe Pagan's looking for him too.

Do you think you're directly responsible for Esteban's death/torture/grim fate? How do you deal with that?

Yangzai: Nope, I'm not- What?

Cranky: ...

Yangzai: Not my fault if the interviewer gives me a clean out.

Cranky: Answer the question or I'll have Pagan give up sex for lent.

Yangzai: As if he would!!! Fine. No, I'm not directly responsible for Esteban's fate, just like I wouldn't have been directly responsible for Sandeep getting murdered if I hadn't stopped Pagan. Responsibility is way more complicated than that. But yeah, I got Esteban in trouble. I've no idea what happened to him, and honestly? *shrugs* I don't particularly care. I doubt it was all that grim of a fate though, considering Gary doesn't like waste.

And that about wraps it up for this time. If you have any questions for Yang-yang or any of the other characters of Pagan Poetry, feel free to drop me a DM or ask ;)

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Castiel - First on his mind - 13x01 - 13x05 - Destiel Canon in Early Season Thirteen

So I’m still not over this.  The confession before the confession. This is the moment that I completely stopped questioning whether Destiel was canon.  At the end of season 12 Dean has just lost everyone but Sam at once. There is not much whiskey spilled for Crowley, and Sam is unwilling to accept the loss of Mary, but neither of those are what Dean is focused on.

Dean prays to god - to chuck - I think for the only for only the second time in the entire series. Dean prays in earnest for the return of Castiel.  He mentions others but he has just lost his mother and yet his first demand is “and now you’re going to bring HIM back. You’re gunna bring them all back.”  

Dean mentions everyone, his family, bobby, even Crowley, but he starts with Castiel.  It parallels Castiel’s first version of the 15x18 deathbed confession in 12x12.  “I love you. I love all of you.”  A mirrored response.

Below the cut for full analysis of Dean’s prayer, grief, and closet themes in the first 1/4 of season 13.

Dean’s prayer goes unanswered and he beats the door up in a visual homage to brokeback mountain (x). It is at this point chronologically that Dean completely loses his shit.  In the car on the way to the pirate stop Dean is unable to say the words out loud. 

 “Let’s see, Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cass is... ... Mom’s gone, and apparently the Devil’s kid hit puberty in 30 seconds flat.” 

Sam asks if Cass is really dead and unable to say those words Dean goes stoic as he can and says, “you know he is.” Dean’s upset, very upset, and that grief and anger is not focused on Mary.

Dean gains a tiny instantaneous moment of hope from a demon who then completely smashes it.

After his prayer Dean becomes completely inconsolable, an angry vengeance machine, the killer he used to project himself to be.  The change is supposed to be such a plot point, such a surprise twist, that it is only revealed LATER that it happened.  Such a major plot point that it must be teased and foreshadowed, with Sam asking Dean, “Dude, whatdiyou do to your hand?”  Giving the viewer their third clue that Dean did not have this cut on his hand from the fight with Lucifer and Jack.

Dean spends five full episodes without Castiel after dropping to his knees beside Castiel in 12x23, and in that time we see Dean unravel.  

In 13x01 he no longer cares about secrecy, immediately explaining the situation to the sheriff.  We see him choosing to approach Castiel’s body alone, looking upon him with such deep pain, tenderly wrapping, pausing multiple times to steel himself so he can finish that task.  Sam continues to get more and more concerned for Dean’s mental state.  Dean taking out his anger and rage and grief all on newborn Jack who continues to do nothing wrong and idolizes Dean.  

We see Dean drink himself under the table, rage against Sam and Jack, and actually become suicidal, killing himself in an unnecessary way with a flimsy excuse.  Billie sees it and notes something has changed.  He no longer believes he can win and no longer wants to live.     

At the shifter Psychiatrist, Dean says that Sam is delusional because Sam won’t admit that Mary is dead, “If he admits it then it’s real. If it’s real, then he has to deal with it, and he can’t handle that.”  Yet we repeatedly see Dean trails off unable to say the words that Castiel is dead.  This is not how Dean has reacted to the loss of Sam, John, Mary, Charlie, or any other familial loved one. 

In his loss of Castiel, Dean becomes John in the aftermath of his loss of Mary. Dean becomes the abusive father to Jack that he himself grew up with.  Jack has a moment of self harm and Dean ‘comforts’ Jack by telling him he’ll kill him so he can’t hurt anyone else. 

Jody’s Speech to Patience - In Contrast to Dean’s

In addition to Dean’s grief the writers show Dean struggle with his identity - with whether to stay in the closet.  In the third episode of the season - Patience - Dean tells Patience to deny who she really is. 

“This life, [hunting] there’s no joy in it there’s nothing but pain horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.”   

Jody corrects Dean. In disbelief.  “You don’t have to listen to him, to either of them if it’s not what you really want.” Jody then talks about her daughter Claire, her gay daughter Claire.  

“I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was ‘cause I thought it would keep her safe. It didn’t work. It never does. ... you try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable.”

If that isn’t a blatant acknowledgement of the metaphor I don’t know what is.  This stopped being subtext and became... text.  Jody has dropped Dean clues about overcoming toxic masculinity before. In 12x06 Jody and Dean talked about big feelings, and that conversation was preceded by Dean beings shocked that Jody could be both badass & like chick flicks at the same time.  She’s been teaching him. However, this time was much more directly and specifically about coming out of the closet, about living in a way that is true to yourself.

After the loss of Castiel, the Dean that had developed over 12 years was gone - and he only returns upon the return of Castiel, right in time for tombstone. 

Meanwhile we get Castiel’s side - where he is being tortured by the Empty with his love for Dean and his fear that Dean doesn’t love him in return. 

Everytime Dean can't say Cas is dead I die a little inside.

"...no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or -- or Bobby or... And I would take the hit."

"...and now Mom and ... and Cas... And I -- I don't know. I don't know."

Dean was in love with Cas. Dean is bisexual. Dean has spent 12 years unwilling to admit it. 

Dean had been repeatedly lit in orange in the car rides, but the second he believes Castiel is alive his face is inexplicably relit in white light.

We then come to the final shots of the episode - where the camera COMPLETELY IGNORES SAM and focuses exclusively on zoom in reaction shots between Dean and Castiel while “It’s never too later to start all over again” plays in this conclusion to a five episode romantic longing and grief arc completely platonic reunion between two dude bros.  

We also see the Orange Light / Dean’s Ongoing Fear of Loss Motif come to it’s climax, the burning of Castiel’s body (13x01), and Castiel’s return (13x05).

I legitimately don’t know what the writers thought they were doing if they WEREN’T explicitly writing a romance story.

It was much later that we learned there was an angle we never got of their reunion, where Dean was cupping Cas's face and neck in his right hand.

But we do get the look on Dean's face in 13x06 when he's able to get his arms around Cas after he's deflected and called Cas 'Pal' again, Gif via @inacatastrophicmind

Bonus - Dean’s stages of grief by @mariethalienne