#Barty/Luna

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Uncle Bee and uncle Evy with baby luna- a canon interaction Barty: Okay Luna, there are 206 bones in the body, but! I’m gonna teach you how to dislocated someone’s body in 230 ways-

Pandora: Barty, She’s a child

Luna:

Barty: Oh yeah! You’re right.

*turns around for a few moments before turning back with puppets over his hands*

Barty, in somewhat a kermit voice: Hi kids! We're going to show you how to dislocate someone's body! Let's start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?

Pandora: Oh my god

———*after a while*———

Evan: Wait what did you teach her?

Barty: There are 206 bones in the human body...

Evan: Barty! She is a CHILD!

Evan: If you are fighting an opponent your age Luna, there may be up to 270 bones in the human body. Children's bones ares still fusing together. Here is how you can use that....

[popcornhee]

The bebes

[inureiris]

pandora made coraline-style dolls for each of her friends one christmas. when school was in session, the dolls were kept together on display in the dorm room.

when summer came, they felt bad separating them so they found a small cave by the great lake and left them there together.

they did the same thing at graduation, even though dorcas was no longer talking to them and pandora was going into hiding, they called a truce for once and set them down.

years later, barty secretly leads luna to the cave so she can have them. luna does not take them, she cleans the cave up and reorganizes the dolls, adding little name plates so if anyone else finds them- they’ll be remembered.

those dolls are still there, waiting to be remembered.

[t1oui]

ok but what about a fic that's canon compliant except rosekiller are raising luna... and then they decide to raise harry too

what if xenophilius also died in the accident that killed pandora so luna was adopted by her uncles? what if evan finds out that dumbledore is raising harry to destroy the rest of voldemort's horcruxes (and himself, considering he is one) and absolutely loses his shit because one of his best friends and his sister died trying to get rid of one? what if he and barty decide to just steal harry after that?

harry getting to king's cross after his second year and finding that the dursleys aren't there because they were told not to come. luna appearing out of nowhere and telling him he's going to be staying with her family now, and her family being two guys who look absolutely murderous until they see her.

also can we imagine the order of the phoenix dynamic. like omfg rosekiller and sirius would be screaming at each other 24/7 and this is 100% how sirius finds out how regulus died and what dumbledore is doing with harry. i just. it would be very fun to write but also very angsty (and that's what this fandom loves, isn't it?)

[telephonedear]

i’ve seen jegulus raising harry, wolfstar raising harry, marylily raising harry, etc etc. WHAT ABOUT ROSEKILLER RAISING LUNA HUH?!?!1?1!1!1!1!1!1!1????

[charlie-jl]

I dont know if I've ever posted sketches here but I might as well

Lotta Sapphic ships

2024 is for the girls

[yourgalgremlin]

“Maybe in another universe I’m NOT an unhinged murder husband who loves his niece & gifts her weapons…”

The Shameless & Marauders universes: Fat chance! Pew 🔫

[billsbae]

now imagine jegulus being harry's parents and pandalily being luna's. barty now has to deal with not only one but two kids, babysitting them

*playing with dolls*

barty: uh, how you doing?

harry looking at luna: uncle barty, say it in your girl voice!

luna: why do we keep asking you!

barty to james: hey look away

barty: how you doing? 🩷💅

james: *fvcking dies*

could work also with evan

[martie10]

Pandora: lily actually smiled at me today! like a real smile! do you think she likes me back?

Barty: I don't know, panda. believe what you want

*20 years later*

Luna: Proffesor Moody, do you have any books about nargles? I know they're real i just havent found one yet-

Barty as proffesor moody: I don't know, panda. believe what you want

LUNA SHOUD'VE CALLED HIM UNCLE BAT BUT ONLY KNEW HIM THROUGH A FAKE FACE AND IM NOW CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

[saturnsconstellation]

Barty Crouch Jr would be the uncle that would rant to 6 year old Luna about his issues with Evan while she paints his nails pink and puts hello kitty hair clips to hold his hair back, and then he would 100% follow her advice.

He’d be THAT bitch and that’s why he’s Luna’s favorite. (I’m kidding) (or am I)

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Luna: singing her ABC’s out of order

Barty: yes girl, remix!!

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Uncle Bee and uncle Evy with baby luna- another canon interaction Pandora: Where's Luna?

Evan: Barty's playing dress-up with her

Pandora: He is?

Evan: *shrugs* She was upset about some kid in kindergarten calling her names

Pandora: That's sweet of him, distracting her like that

Evan:

Evan: Sure. That's what he's doing

Meanwhile

Barty: *going through Luna's closet* Now these shoes have a reinforced sole, meaning your kick's gonna be twice as painful

[popcornhee]

Fav uncle 🤞

[michael-the-candybar]

Luna who went her whole life being compared to her mother by any adult she met. Her looks, her antics, her manners, you name it.

Until her third year, when her new DADA teacher mistakes her for her uncle who passed before she was even born.

(also this making me realize the similarities with harry and remus to this.)

[remuslupinkinnie1979]

Lily*making coffee in her cafe-bookstore*

James and Panda *running in, panicking*

James: Lily! There's a BIG problem!

Lily: What happened?!

Panda: Someone kidnapped the kids.

Lily: What?! WHO??

James: We're not sure. We went to pick them up from school, yk and the teacher told us that someone picked them up a few hours ago!

Lily: Wait - It wasn't me, or any of you, or Reggie, cause he's been here the whole day... *grabs the phone* Hello Mary, did pick up the kids early today?

Mary: No, why? Are they missing???

Lily: Yes

Mary *to Sirius* take my shift, my kids are missing* to Lily* I'll be there in five

Lily: Mary will be here soon. But ab the kids, this was probably one of our friends...

Reg*coming out of the kitchen* What's going on?

James*explains everything*

Reg: Shit, do you know if it was some of our friends, Idk, kinda sounds like Sirius

Mary*who already arrived* No, they were at the bar with me all day.

Panda*has a realization* Oh, they're dead for this *grabs the phone* Evan Rosalius Rosier!!!

James *whispers to Reg* his middle name is Rosalius?

Panda: Harry and Luna better will be here in 10 minutes and you two have some good explanation!

Ten minutes later

Evan and Barty*a bit scared*

Harry and Luna*happy kids*

Lily: Oh Merlin, I'm so glad that you're ok.

Regulus: And YOU! What were you thinking?! To take away OUR kids without telling us a WORD!!!

James: Where did you even go?

Harry: Cheeseburgers!😁😁😁

Barty: Kids eat for free at McDonald's today, so we kinda let them buy us shit.

After that, Barty and Evan were yelled at by all of them for 20 minutes each parent and weren't allowed to pick up the kids from school anymore.

[marauders-bs]

rosekiller- august 7 propmt: heart @rosekillermicrofic word count: 154

also, for alex: thanks for the idea sib!!

"Uncle Evan?"

Evan looked at Luna, who was seven and very confused-looking. "What's up, Lun?"

"A boy in my class drew me a heart," she said, the green and gold eyes she'd inherited from Pandora drawn together. "I didn't know boys could like girls."

Barty doubles over laughing behind Evan and Evan has to fight to keep the grin off of his face. It's so hilariously backwards and makes perfect sense for Luna, who was raised around the Potters and the Meadowes-McKinnons and Barty and Evan and her own moms and god knows how many others.

"Boys can like girls, Luna," Evan says, throwing a scolding look at Barty, who dips to kiss him on the cheek on his way to the kitchen. "And girls can like boys."

Luna considers this, then shrugs. "That's no stranger than Aunt Emmeline and Aunt Mary and Aunt Emma, I guess."

Evan can no longer contain his laughter.