#uncle barty

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Uncle Bee and uncle Evy with baby luna- a canon interaction Barty: Okay Luna, there are 206 bones in the body, but! I’m gonna teach you how to dislocated someone’s body in 230 ways-

Pandora: Barty, She’s a child

Luna:

Barty: Oh yeah! You’re right.

*turns around for a few moments before turning back with puppets over his hands*

Barty, in somewhat a kermit voice: Hi kids! We're going to show you how to dislocate someone's body! Let's start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?

Pandora: Oh my god

———*after a while*———

Evan: Wait what did you teach her?

Barty: There are 206 bones in the human body...

Evan: Barty! She is a CHILD!

Evan: If you are fighting an opponent your age Luna, there may be up to 270 bones in the human body. Children's bones ares still fusing together. Here is how you can use that....

[billsbae]

Grimmauld Palace, 1993

barty: nice onesie. Does it come in men?

harry, annoyed 13-year-old: oh I think you come in men enough for all of us

sirius:

evan:

james:

pandora:

marlene:

lily:

regulus: oh i'm so proud of you <3

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Luna: singing her ABC’s out of order

Barty: yes girl, remix!!

[y0url0verb0y]

I need a fic of just Barty and Evan interacting with baby Luna. Idc if it's short or long, if they're raising her entirely, or they're just silly uncles or whatever the fact I just need it.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Baby Luna: [sings ABCs out of order] Barty: Yes girl, remix!

[theprongspotter]

*rosekiller babysitting*

Barty, holding Harry up by his leg: Hey, I like this thing. Let’s get one.

Evan, in horror: Oh, Merlin, put him down!

-

c: @prompts-in-a-barrel

[mooncello]

my favorite marauders fics are those that imagine these messy gay wizards raising harry. like...james and reg as harry's parents. yes. barty babysitting harry and having no fucking clue how to entertain a five year old. yes. remus affectionally sharing with harry his extensive vinyl collection. hell yes. sirius taking an angsty harry to get his first piercing (and, later, provide teenage harry's first joint - hand-rolled obv). yessss.

throw out everything effing jkr created in canon and remake it better, gayer, happier. these wizards don't die tragic deaths. they live.

i'd read seven books of that.

[1frog-without-sunglasses]

Imagine just how much more unhinged Luna could have been if her two insane uncles hadn't joined the racist club and died. Like: "Oh, uncle Barty went on a *insert made up creature here* hunt with me once. We ended up having to flee muggle police and than we got ice cream."

I feel so robbed.

[lilyystarr]

uncle barty

[gayliketheancients]

3-We Who Remain When The Price Was Paid now out on ao3

Here ✨️

[theriddiculustwins]

THIS IS AMAZING?!? Uncle barty is everything to me ngl

Fav uncle 🤞

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Uncle Bee and uncle Evy with baby luna- another canon interaction Pandora: Where's Luna?

Evan: Barty's playing dress-up with her

Pandora: He is?

Evan: *shrugs* She was upset about some kid in kindergarten calling her names

Pandora: That's sweet of him, distracting her like that

Evan:

Evan: Sure. That's what he's doing

Meanwhile

Barty: *going through Luna's closet* Now these shoes have a reinforced sole, meaning your kick's gonna be twice as painful

[billsbae]

rosekiller babysitting harry

barty: uhm... want a beer?

evan: HE'S FOUR!

barty: I don't know, what am I supposed to do with him?!

[k1ranishf4]

Ah, yes. Finally, the full version

[By tardis_time_with_13 on Instagram]

[doodlebugdpj]

I was thinking about lilies!

luna : i think daisies are one of the most beautiful flowers!

barty : anyone who disagrees with her, should sleep one eye opened tonight.

[saturnsconstellation]

Barty Crouch Jr would be the uncle that would rant to 6 year old Luna about his issues with Evan while she paints his nails pink and puts hello kitty hair clips to hold his hair back, and then he would 100% follow her advice.

He’d be THAT bitch and that’s why he’s Luna’s favorite. (I’m kidding) (or am I)