#BUT YOU CANNOT HURT YOUR OWN PEOPLE
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hanzo’s voice line to ramattra is so fucking hot and explains literally every emotion i have towards ramattra as a character
#ramattra is fascinating but i just can’t bring myself to like him#bc like#i understand the minority struggle#i understand the struggle of people wanting to oppress and kill you for something you can’t control#BUT YOU CANNOT HURT YOUR OWN PEOPLE#FOR THE GREATER GOOD QUOTE UNQUOTE#YOU CANNOT USE YOUR PAIN AS JUSTIFICATION FOR THE EVIL YOUVE DONE#THIS ISNT OPPRESSION OLYMPICS#YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONE HURTING#AND YOU ARENT HELPING YOUR PEOPLE#anyway#hanzo snarling that his sorrow isn’t an excuse made me so fucking hard i need to lay down#ff: cage#talking#ren plays
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star Ryōshū and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for Ryōshū [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in one’s blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot Ryōshū somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryōshū lcb#don quixote lcb#🎠🚬
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I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the cat king#i do not ship them but I don’t want to hate on those who do (mostly) I just want to kind of inform people of the creators meaning for their#Relationship because I keep seeing people saying they hope they get together in s2 and it’s really confusing to me#Their relationship stems from the cat kings own narcissism and predatory behavior and Edwin’s need for someone to push him into under#Standing that his queerness doesn’t have to be torture and can be something giddy#even if he doesn’t return those feelings#The cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He likes the game and then he likes the kindness he’s shown despite#Knowing the cruelty he’s presented to Edwin#Queerness and preformance always go hand in hand#He’s a older secretly insecure character#Edwin is the younger#genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt will never get him what he wants#It’s about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up and the coping mechanism used to protect yourself even at the risk of hurting#Those just like you. That kiss from edwin was to say “I’m sorry your loneliness had caused you to be cruel. It’s the easiest way to feel.#And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need#you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain the attention of uninterested people#I can’t even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it’s just so much it’s just about the predadation from older queers because of#The trauma they’ve endured and the cycle of hurt and the way we can break the cycle with kindness while also protecting our youths by#Healing those traumas#Something the cat king learns and accepts#Off topic but I don’t like people defending their age gap because#Yes; Edwin is 86#but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while#The cat king has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not if y’all. And that part of their dynami#Is actually very clear I think but some people didn’t catch it?? Or didn’t care??? Idk man
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digging my teeth into the really dark fascinating fucked-upness of helnik. they’re fascinating in being a wartime love story about an intentional victim of genocidal violence and an unintentional fuck-around-and-find-out victim of “collateral damage,” both of which are different forms of wartime violence.
nina is targeted as a grisha, she’s almost killed by the druskelle and fjerda in the books not for being a ravkan spy or agent but simply for being grisha. they will kill her for being grisha. and how will they kill her? they will burn her. and it’s fascinating when she tells matthias in a very justified moment of rage (i mean. they’re looking at the dying burned corpses of her people whom jesper, also a grisha, had to physically shoot) and says i want your family to burn i want them all to be burnt in the way my people were. and matthias says, they already have been. they already burned. and how that changes the entire dynamic between them, everything leading up to that, becuase FUCK. yeah. his whole family has already been burnt. he’s a lone survivor of something in much the same way she is, and his family was burnt not on purpose for being grisha but as a “justified accident,” the casual civilian side-damage of war. and it was her people. unlike the intentional, systemic violence that destroyed her people and left nina a shaken, traumatised survivor of a purposeful genocide, we have matthias as this destroyed survivor of one of those little sorts of accidents that’s swallowed and justified by the shape of the war and what Must Be Done to succeed. (also he serves as like, one of the only times i think it’s really faced that the first army is, you known, a national army that does national-army-during-a-war things.) one does not cancel out the other.
their relationship is difficult and fucked and that’s why it’s fascinating and has so much potential to explore. it’s so much more complicated than the tiktok “enemies to lovers” trope because they dig right at the base of what it is to be an enemy to someone else. from the ship nina is an almost-lone survivor of the damage his people did. from his village being burnt by inferni matthias is a lone survivor of the damage her people did. from the consequences of war on his people and violent prejudice against her own, nina is raised a child soldier and in many ways reduced to weaponry, something that absolutely is a form of child abuse. from the consequences of war on her people matthias is inducted into a cult and subjected to spiritual abuse. they’ve been hurt by each other’s nations, but also by their own. there’s something so brutal but also tender in the way they knock each other off the orbits they’ve been living in and force them out of the home that is burning. love may make you free, but not without drowning first.
#nina zenik#matthias helvar#helnik#they're so. they're SO. look i will gilroyfy this there's almost unlimited material#six of crows#symmetry and mirrors and the mirror hurts#but yeah the fact they're both absolutely victims not only of each other country's war crimes BUT THEIR OWN COUNTRIES WAR CRIMES IS LIKE#well that's a lot to unpack. the violence that comes inside and outside the house#they cannot go home! as a consequence of meeting each other they cannot go home#tw genocide#obviously none of this is to let matty off the hook but i think he is a FAR more complex character and his deradicalisation from military#violence is far far more complicated than often given credit too#his backstory especially is. damn. look have your entire family killed by a military apparatus and say that wouldnt' radicalise you too?#i love them for being a fantasy and (sighssss to use this phrase) enemies-to-lovers couple that ISN'T royalty#and that#for all their induction into nationalism hates each other not only along national lines but the violence of lived experiences like#nina may filter her hatred of him and his people through Ravka Good Fjerda Bad but it's also the fact they very much did kill her people#she very much /is/ a survivor of a whole shipload of drowned people#meanwhile matthias may filter his code through Fjerda Good Drusje Very Very Very Bad but like... also they very much did kill his people#it makes their relationship so much messier#but yeah they aren't royalty (matthias even in the one time he describes his background calls his family paupers)#they're ordinary people who have by structures of war been pulled into semi-priviledged positions of elite soldierdom and servitude#and that is fascinating. two kings set their fighting dogs against each other and they fall in love#that love can be liberatory it can be radical it can be real it can also just be. not enough to break the cycle of violence#ANYWAY!!! i love them forever. i have thoughts
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me when people complain about the characters in geats being unlikable/flawed, not getting that's the whole point
#being better is something you have to choose people don't have to forgive you but maybe they will but you shouldn't expect them to#but you cannot live drowning in the sins of the past and you are always capable of change#jfc i love geats and characters being flawed and not the best people was literally so important to the story it was telling and the message#that it was threading throughout you don't get it#humans are flawed and they mess up and they hurt people but there's paths you can take and choices to be made and your capability#is only limited by your own beliefs#i've talked about it so much in my lb but god i love that everyone is flawed and has a moment where you question them or get angry#everyone is so real in that way and it really humanizes them#kr geats lb#kr lb#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts
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Speaking as a personal autonomy enjoyer I hate the way the fanon conception of “lazerus pit rage” not only treats Jason’s actions as not his own but also his feelings as not his own. To me personally even if there was no evil green Jacuzzi and no Talia, the question of “why is that clown not a funny ass corpse” would still come up and there’d still be some hard feelings about Tim. Just probably with less killing and maiming
#The conflict between Jason and Bruce cannot be resolved in a 5k hurt/comfort fic at any point. Also his ass is NOT Bucky Barnes#’free my mans! he absolutely did all that shit of his own free will tho don’t be mistaken 🙈’#Jason Todd#dc#Also people usually write lazerus pit effects as like a demon that whispers to you but i hc it as more of a roid rage sorta thing#like it enhances feelings at anger and paranoia and surpresses whatever part of your brain is charge of empathy which can lead to#destructive thinking patterns but it can’t put any ideas in your head. Just makes you more susceptible to your worst instincts#Canon cannot make its mind up about lazerus pit affects so I just hc that they wore off some time during the lost days era
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i want to remove my new shrimp's pringle bc i wanna whack people with the Plush Tube but it's sewn on so I'd have to use my seam ripper
it won't make holes and he will still have the pringle only he can share now
#it is the perfect size to whap people repeatedly with#fwhap whap fwap fwhp#it's only held on by a few threads it won't require me breaking any actual seams#i always Hate sewing on my plushies bc i Think i might fall under the POSIC umbrella? they feel alive to me#they feel like Guys and moreso they're Guys Who Cannot Communicate With Me In Any Form#so i have no way of knowing if I'm hurting them or their feelings and that makes me so so so anxious#when i am interacting with ANY creature even bugs I always try to pay attention to every form of communication i can esp body language#i always to make sure I'm doing as little damage as possible to everything even to my own detriment a lot of the time#but these guys can't. tell me when i hurt them :(#i try to. calm my mind down. by thinking of it like surgery#like. having a hole in you sucks!!! and yeah stitches hurt but it's better than having a painful hole AND the pain goes away later!#and sometimes surgeries need to be done to free up body parts that are trapped by other body parts#which is like. when plushies have their limbs sewn down to their bellies or something. gotta free their limbs up! its probably not fun#like i know what it's like to not have the OPTION to use your hands and if i could do a quick procedure to get them back? absolutely#human hands are a lot harder to reconstruct than fabric though
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3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence
9 for Maria
11 for Micolash & Aldrich
24 for Laurence
(Asks from this ( x ) meme)
3) What first drew you to this character?
As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:
Also:
@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*
With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!
I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:
youtube
I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)
9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?
Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.
......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!
In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.
11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?
Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?
The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.
24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.
Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!
The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd
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Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha
#bloodborne#dark souls 3#aldrich devourer of gods#laurence the first vicar#soulsborne#ask replies#personal#memories#dreams#honestly I remember Maria in my dreams hiding in the closet like an abused bullied child.. that big strong woman reduced to this#and I finally know why it was this way#I'd rather not sully Gehrman with something as dirty as my stepdad of course he deserves so much more and he is his own man#I just don't like the approach of turning characters with their own stories and personality into vessels for my trauma#it feels like frenzied flame: you got infected by it and you have unending need to spread it. to scorch the world in your pain.#I don't think this approach would help my healing but instead make me feel worse by nourishing the trauma#I am keeping it sealed away from the world forever now </3#see this is why it hurts me so much when gehrman haters accuse me of being insensitive to people that want to project their negative-#-experiences with men and misogyny onto him even if that means twisting the actual story and character. I do have a reason to do it myself#I just choose not to because I personally dislike the idea of making fandomry about myself more and about source material less#I don't want to bring the pain and horrors inside me into something that doesn't have them. some things can stay clean!#the passive aggression between canon worshippers and fanon enforcers is something that cannot be avoided in the fandoms#and I disapprove of the lie about 100% peace and mutual respect between the 'camps'. we will never FULLY like each other#each thinks their approach is more productive for the community. and that's fine!
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tell me about your correct opinions. I love hearing opinions...
Honestly I can't think of any specifics rn hdggjndg I just know I am a Nishikiyama Understander. I think one off the top of my head is that yes, he's clearly more emotional than others, but he is not remarkably so and he is NOT a 'crybaby'. Like every time he's cried on screen it's been for very understandable reasons and in highly emotional situations.
Or the idea that him not reciprocating Reina's feelings is like, an inherent character flaw??
#smol responds#dont get me started on k_zum_ji i will appear to be such a hater and im NOT i SWEAR its just i dont think theyre built for a cutesy domesti#relationship theyre FUCKED okay aaaand im gonna shut up they WILL kill me xgmdkg#also my opinions on the first half of the ship on his own cause like i KNOW he's beloved i KNOW his heart is in the right place but GODDDDD#HE PISSES ME OFFFFF and part of my frustration comes from the fact I recognise myself in him and it hurts man!!! We Cannot Keep Doing This!#Maybe one day I'll collect my Discord ramblings together fsjjf also i realise how full of myself i sound??#in that im not just a Fan but an Understander cause i do feel there's a difference. Its like with my bestie she loves this one character#and other people call themselves the no. 1 fan and i believe em i think she's the true Understander though yknow?#classic 'i love this guy AND i see how he really sucks and i love that' and she says im the same with Nishiki#I see his flaws man and i get em i SEE where he got this from but im bot disliking him as some 'incel niceguy' like its not a common take#but ive seen it a couple times and im like are you stupid??? hes not some wifebeater?? are you daft?? no he shouldnt have slapped her#but if your takeaway from that is 'he hates women' or some shit you might be a fool. Shoutout Atanx for that very correct post a while back#sorry turns out i DO have opinions lmao basically Nishiki Is Mine Yall Cant Have Him zfhzfn#WAIT MY MIREI OPINIONS- [i am dragged away once more]
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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#im gonna be talking about liams death and idk how much detail im gonna go into but just in case pls dont read on if youre hurting rn#because its just me spilling my own emotions and i dont think everyone is gonna agree or find it helpful.#liam payne#death#le text post#anyways#i think i need to come to terms with the fact that theres nothing I or probably anyone else could have done#he was hurting. a lot. for a long time. he was severly fucked over by the industry.#but also... he had a decent career. people around him. family or otherwise. loads of fans who stull loved and adored him#and even just before he physically got to see#me saying all this isnt to say that he shouldve been 'fixed' or 'ok' because of any of this.#i understand deeply myself how just because you seemingly have everything you need doesnt mean your brain cannot fuck you over regardless#but like. it wasnt a case of. oh maybe if i had done this. or someone else had done that.#he unfortunately fell victim to his demons and addiction or whatever the hell. ive deliberately tried not to look into it too much because#i dont feel its right to pry and it wont change anything#and its done. its just simply done. and torturing myself over what ifs and could have beens will not change anything.#im glad that he got to leave a lasting impact on me. even though it hurts. and i hate what this means for anyone else that cared about him.#at least he was here.#i could go on but I'll leave it at that
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pls i agree with the previous anon. like i need to see how your mind works. LIKE THE AMOUNT OF LORE YOU PUT INTO THIS STORY? no wonder you was struggling to write this chapter. no wonder you had to split it. YOURE PUTTING EVERYTHING INTO IT. i adore you.
i just love how you do megumi justice. like from what we hear from others (oh my god he was such a menace. jumping out of vehicles? biting people? willing to summon his ace just to spite everyone? trying to electrocute his uncle?) he has so much fire in him. he’s such a little shit. i love him. i’m so tired of everyone portraying him as some emotionless bland character. the dudebros don’t know him the way i do 🙁.
i’m honestly just itching to see yuuta spill the beans on his attachment to megumi like…would gojo actually be willing to kick that kid ass. IF ANYTHING gojo should consider this a win. the son he birthed from his gojoussy (i was there. i was the one cutting the cord ofc shh) has a loyal protector.
but in all honesty i have so many theories. like about mai, she might pop out to get the books & shit for her nephew? who knowsss.
the answer to how my mind works is “not well.” imagine a waiting room where the staff are only in attendance for 30 minutes per day (it’s never the same 30 minutes) and there is a hamster inexplicably lose. there are fish tanks but they are empty ones. you do not know what the business is or why you are waiting. dont stop me now by queen is playing on endless loop
#you cannot convince me that baby Megumi was not completely feral#that’s a kid who bit people I’ll die on that hill#there is something about Mahoraga that convinces me that it’s just the ultimate act of reclaiming control for Megumi#fundamentally Megumi does not have control over his own life#from a very young age he was locked into a profession that /would/ kill him one day#and again and again he displays this almost suicidal decision to summon something /guaranteed/ to kill him whenever he thinks hes going down#megumi never got to decide his life but by god he has decided upon his death#I think a part of him has always felt doomed from the beginning and got a bit of solace in knowing he’d die on his terms#he would die but he would not die having been beaten#like I think you just CANNOT underestimate the twisted relief that can be gotten from controlling the way you die after you’ve spent your#entire life under the shadow of your own death sentence#of course this means that the Zenin took even that comfort from him#megumi thought he was going to die and it was going to be in a way that robbed him of the only control he ever had#there’s a unique helplessness in that#I think the fact that he couldn’t even die on his terms hurt him more deeply than almost anything the Zenin did to him#he spent his entire life knowing he had an ace that couldn’t be taken from him and they still managed it#the Zenin made him feel weak as a child when they were abusing him#they made him feel weak when they spent that week hurting him#and they took away the only thing that ever made him feel truly strong#he wanted to hurt them back and it was a tremendous loss to not even have that#sea glass gardens
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when you discovered that the lore of your favorite game shit on your entire people and an entire region by effectively wipe you out of the map.
and you decided to fuck the lore and write your own lore.
fuck this man. we deserve to exist in this dystopian world too!
#cyberpunk 2077#idk man it just hurts me a lot#maybe im just too touchy today#but it hurts when you know you do not exist canonically anymore#your culture doesnt exist anymore#and you cannot build your character based on your own background and heritage anymore#that fucking sucks#it's not like we have any representation in global media to begin with#and this is usually how we are treated as well#it just really fucking sucks#we are not dispensable#we are proud and thriving people
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unfollowing one of my long time moots without any hesitation because they posted a big thing about why cheating is fine 👍
#If there's like. One boundary I have it's that#iykyk#I don't think she's lurking but if she is: Jade Perish Challenge#She's not the one that posted tht this time but y'know. If someone is talking about cheating I have to mention it#Like religious ppl doing a cross symbol when seeing something unfortunate#But for me it's like. I see someone talk about a cheating kink and I'm reminded 'you know who should be Voted Off The Island this week?'#Betrayal literally kills ppl okay I cannot fathom why you would cheat#when a large portion of people that commit do so bc they were cheated on.#IN MY EYES: Asking someone to cheat on their partner is the same as asking them to kys or k their partner.#Because that's what intense heartbreak and betrayal does to a mf.#something I should've communicated better before. I didn't explain to Jade why what she was demanding was so Abhorrent.#But tbf she should've known. 18 yr old me shouldn't need to explain that to a grown ass woman#For context a stalker kept telling me she would commit if I didn't cheat w her. But hurting my partner would make ME do that so#to me its like saying 'either you kys or I'll kms' which is. Such a weird ultimatum to give to someone?#Lady I detest you and you revolt me why would I chose your life over my own + my partners?? fucking weirdo.#Even if I was single ur a violent incel so ??? Ew No#All of my feelings towards Jade can be summarized with the Obama 'Then Perish'' meme#If u think I'm being cruel u should know she's with a self-confessed groomer and actively defends it#Do Not feel bad for that woman okay.#Tw suicide mention#tw sui vent#tw grooming
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Some people have aggressively stupid takes on censorship, fictional content, kink…. But then also in irl sex and relationships, too, and it’s exhausting. If you are a grown adult wringing your hands about how you could never date anyone two years younger than you or getting your panties in a twist over regular safe consenting sex practices/acting like safe and consensual k.ink is inherently abusive…. Then your brain has been so thoroughly rotted by online puritan discourse and you need to get off of twitter and experience the real world. Genuinely. Hope this helps.
#and there is a difference between having an understanding of these things and avoiding certain k.inks because of personal preference/trauma#but acting as if people who participate in and enjoy these things safely and privately are ‘freaks’ or ‘disgusting’ or immoral#is not the same thing#also please recognize the rhetoric you are parroting for fucks sake#because calling people ‘freaks’ and ‘degenerates’ and wanting to police anything sexual… not the take you think it is#this sort of thing actually enables and leads to things like a lot of sodomy laws in the us that existed pre obergefell v hodges#which classified any sex deviant from your standard piv penetrative sex as unlawful and immoral#setting a very dangerous precedent about what people can and cannot do in their own home#there are so many reasons that it pisses me off seeing these things but with the state of things in so many places right now#it baffles me when chronically online bitches swallow puritan rhetoric without a second thought and don’t see the writing on the wall#in an era of book bans and drag bans and the demonization of the lgbtq community at large#and with a Supreme Court that has shown time and again that they put their personal biases ahead of the safety and rights of constituents#I do not know how people do not recognize#this sort of reactionary shit will ALWAYS hurt marginalized people first. respectability politics will not save you when they turn on you#okay send tweet I’m just annoyed#laur speaks!#I better not get some dumbass shit on this post I am tired I am chronically and mentally ill and having a hell of a semester.#not looking for discourse. I do not have time. get blocked argue with the wall read a fucking book and learn some shit while you’re at it.
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Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but
Literally who gives a fuck about canon?
Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU
Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is
#thylacines can talk#Maybe that's the reason I do not have the same violent reaction to mischaracterisation 99% of fandom spaces seems to have#I genuinely think that getting butthurt over somebody not writing a fictional character exactly how they appear in canon is the stupidest#most juvenile pet peeve you could ever have. Literally WHY do you care so much? It's words on a screen. Calm down.#I think it's only a problem when you believe that it's canon or try to shove your own interpretation of a character or AUs onto everybody#else. Otherwise...literally who cares? Somebody else treating characters like dolls is not hurting me. I'm not about to get legitimately#annoyed over fictional characters in a children's cat book. Unless it's like. Bigoted. But then I criticise the person's beliefs not a#goddammed characterisation of a fictional character.#In the fandom I was in most of my life a trigger-happy clown with a chainsaw canon and an old deppressed asshole boss were seen as the same#character and only had like. One design detail in common. And literally nobody batted an eye. You could write a dynamic between two#characters being incredibly hateful and toxic and somebody else could write them as old friends or an old married couple and both of these#interpretations would be equally canon. A single guy could have two wildly different personalities and backstories and he'd still be#treated like the same character as long as the two looked vaguely similar physically wise. Sure there were interpretations of characters#that were more popular than others but literally the only people who would treat one specific interpretation as canon and shove that#interpretation onto everybody else would be people who came from different kinds of fandoms and let me tell you. They were annoying as fuck#So coming from that kind of fandom into more generic mainstream fandoms feels like such a culture shock. Genuinely cannot comprehend why#people care so much.#'oh this character is so far from canon they might as well make an oc' okay...cool...and?#Maybe they don't want to make an oc?? I mean come on. It's fictional characters. You're an adult. It's not a fucking English class#People don't come to fandoms to study book literacy they come here to have fun. Literally WHO CARES if somebody's interpretation of a#character has only name and looks common with the canon version. WHO CARES. ITS WORDS ON THE SCREEN. Who are they hurting if they're just#making AUs in their own corner and not shoving it in anyone's face?#Idk I just see a characterisation I don't agree with and just go oh. Kinda weird but go off. And move on.#This got longer than I meant it to but whatever#I mean if you have that pet peeve but aren't an asshole about it. It's also whatever. That opinion also doesn't hurt anybody. It's only#people who act so butthurt about it and shit on other people having fun that I have a problem with. If you put it on your own blog and#criticise that sort of content in your own space instead of coming to somebody and going 'hey. I don't like what you're doing'. Then I#couldn't care less. Again. That's kinda weird but go off#It's kind of like. I like horror but I dont care if you dont like horror and talk about it in your own space. But I'm gonna care if you#go up to horror fans and go 'hey I think horror sucks' or 'I dont like horror so you shouldn't either'.
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