#YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONE HURTING
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vacantgodling · 11 days ago
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hanzo’s voice line to ramattra is so fucking hot and explains literally every emotion i have towards ramattra as a character
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flagellant · 4 months ago
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you don't have to forgive yourself for what you did. but you can't hate yourself about it forever. learn, change, do better in the future and try to make that matter. there will always be people who will only know you from your worst. that does not preclude that you can change and become a better person.
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dykedvonte · 18 days ago
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I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.
It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.
Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.
What did you do?
Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.
I told you.
They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.
Tragically that guilt is not their own.
#refining the au and the crew cant see the entity always but pretty much its always felt sort of like a mind over matter debacle#it is like the code scanner sections where only jimmy sees it but it can kinda interact with things to an extent like a force of negative#energy jimmy cant just outright tell them cause theyll just think he's insane but he can't ignore it cause he can't ignore the guilt anymor#anya and curly are its biggest targets as it is relatively easy for him to rectify the issues with Swansea and Daisuke vs the internalized#problems he has with Anya and Curly and its sort of about him no longer becoming that person he was in that future cause its the same#timeline but like divergence he was sent back with something awful and the story is less about forgiveness and more about repenting#hes still weird and an asshole he is being tormented but no one else gets seriously hurt so bittersweet#its like a fix-it but like imagine getting put into a perfect world with all the knowledge of ur fuck ups and now being haunted by the#guilt you will do the same shit again because you already have and having to prove you arent that person but then you also prove you didnt#ever have to be that person so you damn yourself even more like this doesn't end happy for Jimmy like ill tell you that but he'll actually#learn something so yeah thats somethting but everyone is still a little worse after this but can move on happily#the demons are tormenting each other by blaming them for Jimmy's actions invertedly cause while its not her fault anya in the reg timeline#def wondered if she stayed silent if this all wouldve happened even though it really isnt her fault and Curly knew deep down how bad Jimmy#was how bad he was to him and he likely told himself Jimmy would be the end of him and a lot of other but was so beaten down he couldnt go#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing#pe au#thinking of calling it pestilent equine au? that sound good? we like P.E is just the short funny name for it?
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zvezdacito · 2 years ago
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⚠️ CW: imperialism, colonization, genocide, rape mention
I honestly hate to make posts like these because the common response are Yana bootlickers invalidating my say in issues affecting me and harassing me😭
But since I've seen not much people bring it up yet. In cased you didn't know New Year's Cater is fsr in Taisho Era clothing, which was an era of Imperial Japan. Thus, fashion from that era is seen as a symbol and glorification of Japanese imperial colonization and brutalization of Koreans, Chinese and Southeast Asians.
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"Twst isn't the only game that does this though, I've seen lots of other media use it as an aesthetic fashion choice! You're overreacting/trying to stir up trouble" Yeah unfortunately this, along with Nazi imagery, are still very glorified in Japanese pop culture. Purposeful or not, it being downplayed as just a cutesy Japan aesthetic in popular exported media (their soft power), helps downplay the severity of what Japan did in this era and make it easier for the government to sweep it under the rug.
When it's brought up for popular anime like Demon Slayer by Korean, Chinese or even some SEAsian people, it's not usually heard because anime fans are so quick to shut us down or even joke about Imperial Japan being in the right despite all the cultural genocide and mass rape committed to spite us☠️ Like I said this only ends in harassment and mockery of us so I wouldn't be saying stuff like this just for fun☠️
They changed Trey's Vargas camp v-neck ingame after already releasing the promo image already so I hope they can fix this too😭
I hope if even not from me, you will at least share this information around for those who aren't aware and tell them how and why it's wrong. Hopefully if enough people bring it up they will notice and change it, if not, then at least do not roll for cater specifically ig😭 Other characters are wearing kimonos from eras without problematic implications on this scale afaik
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owleics-fr · 11 months ago
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Do just wanna say bc i checked the notes of that post about the gilded crown, while its wild that devs made the choice to add the item to the account and then lock it, like its understandable why they check the accounts of people who've won sought after/valuable items. If a person who is multiaccounting wins its a very bad look for devs because it seems like theyre rewarding a rule breaker who has an advantage in situations like roundseys raffle (not that that was what was happening this time to be very clear!!!). All this to say maybe if you have broken the rules in the past, maybe be careful moving forward when entering big item roundsey weeks. Theyre investigating past account activity of the winners of these highly valuable items now
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holeodemony · 5 months ago
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I am not okay. Just finished ep 36 of malevpod and. I. Aaaaa. Oscar our sweet little baby boy murderer just needs to be alright and the conversation and John and. John you manipulative bastard I knew what you were doing when you were trying to convince Arthur not to tell Oscar about this you don't actually care about Oscar now do you you just want Arthur to yourself and. oscar. Oscar you let the man live that is so aa and yet good on you for being sane I guess(?) still agree that abusive priestman whos name I don't care to remember should've died. And. Arthur. Aaaaaaa oh arthur. Arthur. Why. Why. That last line of the episode. Why did you say that. Why did you make me scream so. So much. Aa. Why are you not okay like i know why logically but how do you make things so aaaaaaaaaa. And telling oscar to help others and that you're giving a reaosn and stuff im not okay I related to them way too m uch for my liking and wby was that last line so emotionally devistating why arthur are you so goddamn poetic I'm going to kill you not actually because I love you and hate you and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa "I'm glad Parker didn't feel the same way." IM NOT OKAY ABOUT THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!
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skunkes · 6 months ago
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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redvelvetbunny · 9 months ago
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what brushes do you use and what program? btw love the art 🫶
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i use procreate with a mix of the default brushes and these specific brushes/brush packs! 🫶 square brushes Are my Bestest Friend.
jingsketch brushes are also pretty great but i got them when they were at a much much lower price 😭
i always use a HUGE (i’m not kidding) amount of references while i draw and i reference off of other peoples styles in order to curate the one i liked the most ^_^ have fun!!
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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if ppl telling you "jewish ppl in israel were already kicked out of other countries and have no where else to go" makes you feel compelled to call whoever said that a "zionist", I really just dont think you give af about jewish ppl's lives quite frankly.
if your "free palestine" means "getting rid" of all jewish civilians in israel I think you're probably just a heartless asshole.
#two state solution ftw#or at least something along those lines#yelling at average jewish ppl who ARENT in israel is antisemitic#anti semitism- no matter how 'big of a deal' you think it is naturally makes jewish ppl feel unsafe by default#where do they go when theres nowhere else thats safe? you guessed it- probably to israel.#which is WHAT netanyahu wants. he wants scared controllable civilians to think hes the only one who can protect them#so you being anti semitic and not checking yourself on it or being 'whatever its nbd' about it is making everything so much worse#STOP BEING SO FUCKING APATHETIC FUCK ILL BEAT YOU UP TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING IF I HAVE TO#i dont feel like i can in good conscious reblog your 'free palestine' posts bc idk wtf the op thinks about jewish ppl being in#israel. and at this point i dont have faith in leftists to not notice the antisemitism in some of these ppl and call it out#its not something we can 'push aside and deal with and apologize for later' its ACTIVELY MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE AND NEEDS#TO BE ADDRESSED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#maybe jewish ppl wouldnt be calling it 'self defense' if yall didnt keep being antisemitic and making them feel like they have to cling#to israel to stay tf alive. fuck.#OBVIOUSLY the response to what hamas did is disproportionate and affecting more people than israel says it intends to target#but thats the govt. and actual regular people are worried about their families. its disproportionate and probably being used as an excuse#to genocide palestinians but this wouldnt be happening if hamas didnt basically GIVE the israeli govt the excuse to do it.#free palestine. from hamas and from the israeli govt. and dont have genocidal intent toward jewish ppl.#thats all i want.#hamas' escalation did nothing but hurt everyone and make things worse especially for palestinians.
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themanwhowouldbefruit · 8 months ago
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my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me
#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your#ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it#*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like#this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask#if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had#fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your#fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your#swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my#abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of#gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up#for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how#hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know#how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy#am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other#organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it#get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to#get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
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angel---eater · 6 days ago
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like idk how to TELL these ppl that my femmeness wouldnt exist without my mascness and vice versa. and im not alone in this!!!! at all!!!! both things are beautiful and worth exploring in all aspects actually!!! i boyed AND girled badly at the same time when i was a little kid and that affected me directly and that also affects how i analyze the queer media im into!!!! that is also not a unique experience!!! but bc i dont frame femininity as divine or transient or given to us by the fuckin moon or whatever while devaluing genders i dont personally like (i just treat it as a normal fuckin human experience in tandem with other experiences bc thats what it is. and if you dont like an entire gender, no matter what it is, you should work on that) im apparently a bigot and putting other trans folks in danger. okay
#our t#oh man moot i feel u on those tags in ur rb if you see this#our dirk is kinda transfem leaning but he feels like a fuckin gender traiter and a faker bc hes once again not femming correctly#feels like a traiter fem-ways specifically i mean#because hes not shedding off all instances of his intersex/cis boyness and framing his transfemness as 'getting better'#and he shouldnt fuckin have to bc thats just who he is. but he feels pressured to be a whole girl. he feels like hes baiting ppl#so he never talks about it in public bc its hard enough getting others to treat him seriously as a clocky guy#its fucked. its completely fucked and its the exact same shit that sparked our plurality in our early childhood ill be fully real#but it feels worse bc now its coming from ppl who say over and over again that theyre safe to be around bc theyre also queer.#i cant even get into what our girls go through. no one in this system has ever 'gendered correctly' in the eyes of anyone queer or not#and its only gotten worse. so much worse#this sites hatred of masculinity is hurting the people theyre trying to uplift#fuckin rip to our transfem butches they just aint people to most of this site. not even talking abt fandom circles anymore there#like the way ppl treat bigender wo/men here? nahhh roxanne would be drawn and fuckin quartered. our bro too#and even just binary trans girls.... like if their blogs arent hyperfem and covered in lace they get fuckin transvestigated#the instant theyre 'aggressive' in a way that isnt seen as Feminine Rage#and of course.... all transmasculine people are gender traitors and/or cheated the world out of another object i mean woman (/s)#and fandom discourse and turf wars over gender headcanons is a particularly blatant microcosm of this#its abysmal here
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fordanoia · 2 years ago
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I was thinking about stuff again and looking into the transcript and this exchange really does just pull some unspoken weight in it
Stan: How did things get so messed up between us? Ford: We used to be like Dipper and Mabel. The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it? Stan: Easy. They're kids. They don't know any better.
Of course we know Stan and Ford’s whole deal, but the whole sentiment here really just pulls a tragic note
There’s this unspoken acknowledgement that they both want to have a relationship, but (at this point) it’s treated as something that just... can’t happen
There’s a sentiment a lot of times that if you really love someone and they love you - that things turn out fine. Or at least, on the surface you’d think ‘well why would we ever stop being close?’ because logically, it doesn’t make sense
But in practice - it happens. It’s a falling out where you still both love each other, but now there’s this obstacle
really love the show for having this moment between them btw
And here in the show - Stan and Ford both see so much of how they used to be in Dipper and Mabel
Even here though where Ford directly draws that parallel though - he’s not connecting how they’re able to not squabble when everything’s going wrong - how they pull together instead of apart when the stakes turn high
and Stan saying it’s because they don’t know any better-
It just really paints a picture of how behind the pair of them are to Dipper and Mabel - especially after the Mabel-land episode
The Little Dipper episode is an instance where Dipper and Mabel have a similar squabble to the Stans’ petty hand-holding debacle, but afterwards they open up to one another and stuff is fine again.
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The thing about this whole thing - it’s not that Dipper and Mabel never have moments of broken trust between each other or insecurities or anything like this - it’s that when this stuff happened they were eventually able to open up to one another and that’s how they got through it and came to work together without bickering
Because it’s not about blind or naive trust - it’s about that trust and putting in the effort to show some vulnerability and even talk about stuff instead of burying it down
Stan and Ford’s relationship acts as an obvious cautionary foil to Dipper and Mabel’s own, and it’s tragic because like with Dipper & Mabel you can see how Stan & Ford could also have possibly reconciled.
And the tragic thing in this set of lines is that, they really don’t understand and they still view it as this near-impossible thing for themselves.
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the-knife-consumer · 9 months ago
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One thing I really like is the idea that springbonnie hates William just as much as William has (probably) grown to hate it.
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yamikawaii · 2 months ago
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year ago
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Actually the funniest example of Megatron apologism (neutral) I've seen is when people call it biased and rigged for Optimus to be the judge for Megatron's trial, but have nothing to say about the fact that Optimus let Megatron on the Lost Light AS CO-CAPTAIN which is ALSO incredibly rigged and biased and no one wanted it and Optimus barely had the authority to even do that.
It just seems like a case where people will always take the angle/interpretation that favors Megatron as a victim of Autobot eeeevillll, so they harp on how unfair it was for Megatron to be put on trial, but completely skirt over exactly how and why Megatron even got to serve parole/not rot in prison in the first place. I guess because it would disrupt the ever-present fan wank about how actually Megatron is being victimized for being put on trial and those Autobots are "just as bad" (lmao).
#squiggposting#i hate it too like#bc i DO see and agree with their takes to a point. about how the autobots arent all good#but their evidence is often cherrypicked and taken out of context. angled in the most biased way possible#it's like. bro i could've maybe agreed with you but your argument/evidence kind of sucks#you could make that argument much more compelling if you turned down the impulse to go cons good bots bad#also ppl seem to not understand that a character claiming something doesnt mean it's true#whether theyre deliberately lying or having a knee jerk reaction or not privy to key information#it's just. characters like megatron and prowl are literally known for being skilled with words/propaganda#or for being manipulative as fuck#you can't take things at face value that are spoken by notorious liars/manipulators/propagandists#especially ones like M and P who sre incredibly self righteous with no self awarenezs#but like back to the text of the post...what i mean is like#ppl will use OP putting M on trial as the judge as an example of his bias and M being victimized#but when an example of OP being biased in FAVOR of M comes up they barely give it credence#they only present the evidence that presents OP as some conniving evil bastard and M as a poor victim#in this context ppl need the evil autobots narrative so they only bring up the stuff that makes OP look bad and unsympathetic#do i need to pull out the mtmte receipts of M saying that being compared to OP is a compliment#or him saying that when OP hurts others he hurts himself
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pinksparklelps · 5 months ago
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Birds ?
Love em
Have 2 budgies
My advice ?
Dont get a bird
#i just spent an hour and a half cleaning their cages and my legs HURT#they are MENACES and they WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS#and they make SUCH A MESS#but i would literally die for my birds#whenever i see a bug and i wanna go hide downstairs my first thought is#what if it gets near the birds i dont want that thing near my birds#if you do get a bird do research#be prepared BEFORE going to get one#birds need BIG BIG cages to fly and frolick#they need toys that you swap and move around every so often#my birds like mirrors so maybe one of those#make sure they get fruits and vegetables eating only seeds is unhealthy#if your bird wont eat fruit/veggies get pellets that have the vitamins#they need a cuttlebone to keep their beak from getting too long#and you can use sandpapery feeling things to put on perchs so their claws get manicured too#birds are loud and they will fly dont yell at them for doing it#seriously dont clip your birds wings its very stressful#if you do too much its essentially like declawing a cat#you can do a little bit if you REALLY need to#but if they arent in any harm from flying then leave their wings alone#im very anti-clipping but will excuse it if its for the birds safety#also dont touch the birds wings or backs to pet them#that will arouse them#if you wanna pet the bird give gentle scritchies on the head#and you can also gently touch their bellies#mostly to urge them to step on your finger#some birds dont wanna be touched and thats fine#you can be close by; talk to it; give treats; that kinda stuff to bond#speaking of treats id probably give them millet like once a week#and obviously after doing something stressful or to train them to do something
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