#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.
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cyanide-sippy-cup · 2 months ago
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Obviously a lot of season 2 focuses on Jinx's compassion and love and kindness, what with Sevika's new arm, getting her family back, and everything with Isha. But one scene that really struck me is when Ekko tries to talk her off that roof. She pulls the trigger again and again before he can even speak cause she knows he'll change her mind. But what struck out at me was that, when he complains about being blown up, she opts instead to throw herself from the roof. She had it all planned out but would choose to improvise rather than harm someone who considers her a loved one.
#LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE#SHE JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED AND IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE FOR JUST A SECOND WHY IS IT DENIED HERRRRRR#idk if it's cause he called her old friend or not but that doesn't make it less heartwrenching it honestly makes it more so#UGH and the fact that he succeeded in talking her down using powder's lesson#ugh she had everything for just a little bit#peace and even love with her sister. restoring her dad's mind. a daughter who made all that even possible for her. love rekindled with Ekko#and then it was all snatched away#honestly i kinda prefer her dying. like i get why she faked her death. too many memories still hurting her#but idk i like the narrative conclusivity of her sacrifice and what it means thematically#but i also like the other one so pffffft#jinx arcane#powder arcane#do i like her cause her story is incredible or because shes basically just harley quinn? the answer may surprise you#both the answer is both#jinx#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcane netflix#ekko arcane#tw suicide#tw self harm#god i love how every detail is just so precise. remove one piece and it cant work the same#like not only is episode 7 necessary to make their story work but also its SO BEAUTIFUL#that stromae song and fantastic are my favorites of the whole show's soundtrack#and like so many pieces of media will use licensed music but the artists will clearly have no idea what their songs are actually for#so they just make whatever. even spiderverse just kinda winged it with the music and what went where#but it's so clear the artists involved in this show knew exactly what they were making music for and man i couldn't be more grateful for it
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yamikawaii · 4 months ago
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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poniko-w · 3 months ago
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been making concepts for magical girl adukin au.. i am forming a semi-consistent plot & having fun.. i might draw some other characters in magical girl outfits even if ive sort of laid out what the "canon" magical girls are for the au, but idk who i would draw.. maybe fusakin and syumitaro because well. ones a balloon with a human body and the other is God
#ekurambles#i really like this au if i am being honest even if it is just for funsies.. been working on it inbetween doodles and requests#i have a lot of things jotted down on how adukin even like.. became a magical girl in the first place#& i definitely think it could tie into her feelings in the maingame after the events of mo3#with her feeling like she wasnt as good of a person as jack is but instead of getting manipulated by mdcr#she sacrifices her own selfworth to act more like a hero and force herself to be someone she isnt (“magical girl adu”)#rather than accept who she is and not try to live as a cheap copy of someone who already loves & cares abt her *for* who she is.#taking on a much more dangerous nightlife as a magical girl just to feel like she can amount to any of what jack has done#& that'd probably also lead into jack and his magical boy form where he just wants to help protect her even though adukin hates that idea#she knows she can protect herself and she knows jack isnt trying to say that shes weak (he thinks shes really fucking strong)#but she cant accept his help without accepting herself first otherwise shes just going to keep comparing herself to someone-#-who already thinks shes perfect as the foulmouthed yet kind numa that she is#+ the whole thing with bachikin being the villain shes trying to defeat even if she doesnt know that#because like. she loves bachikin. it is an adubachi-based au afterall#bachikin is only doing these things to create what she thinks is a perfect world#where it's just her and adukin and nobody can judge them or keep them apart#shes been an awful person in the past and she doesnt know how to handle these emotions shes feeling#so she thinks that she has to deal with it the same way that she's dealt with all of her problems in the past#taking what she wants (adukin) and not letting anyone else near her#and bachikin is completely unaware that adukin is the one trying to stop her from doing this#probably in part because she doesnt want to believe that adukin wouldnt also want to live in that idealized world shes created for them-#-in her mind.#...Ok i gotta shut the fuck up this is way too long.
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coyoxxtl · 1 year ago
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tumblr centrist liberals stop acting like voting is the most influential and important political activity you can participate in challenge
#me donating to mutual aid posts on tumblr and donating esims to people in gaza has done worlds more influence than any vote i ever did#people who risk their lives in protests do more than voting#i firmly believe that#this isnt a Voting is Pointless post this is Voting is the Barest Minimum#voting is easy. when there’s no outside barriers its so fucking easy.#you fill in a card and call it a day. its easy to feel like you made a difference when all you did is fill in some dots.#yall barely even follow up on who you vote for or even Care if the people you vote for fail you#its the perfect thing for weak liberals to attach to#treat it like the be all end all with activism and you have the easiest get out of real political action card#no need to get your hands dirty if you did all you needed to#as someone who DOES vote. voting is the easiest political thing i engage with. everything else is a risk. or at least a sacrifice.#voting is barely anything to me. i dont feel like i do Anything with it. but donating. making political art. THATS something. thats REAL.#i would go to big protests if i lived somewhere with them#like i understand. wanting voting to be enough. im a heavily depressed bitch who feels like they cant engage with anything big or important#i know tumblr is full of those types. yall dont want to do anything. yall dont want to be uncomfortable or upset or anything negative.#personal comfort above all else. thats what tumblr is. thats what centrist liberals are. there’s no real desire to break out-#of the comfort zone or status quo respectively. yall are scared to get Involved. and i am too. but with how current events are going…#i can see that i don’t want to be that anymore. i know i need to be more than that. its hard and risky but i Need to.#and so do yall. yall NEED to engage with activism outside of voting. or you’re doing nothing.#txt
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sanstropfremir · 9 months ago
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if you could bring back one styling that you think wasn't appreciated in its time or the fans weren't ready for (but are now) or just think should be around again, which would it be? (hard round: something other than TVXQ's "Triangle" styling) (and I already know the #1 is Pink Gumby)
(kicks rock) ok FINE i won't immediately say triangle.........
my first instinct is actually something that DID get its due appreciation: arario!! it was genuinely ahead of its time (both in styling and musical composition), and if vixx hadn't done shangri-la we might never have seen a traditional/hanbok styling trend in kpop. but realistically this is kind of a tough question to answer because most trends in kpop styling have been recycled already in some way. i could say something like we should bring back the goofy looks for the early '10s but realistically that's already happened as much as it's going to without completely reverting silhouettes and clothing construction, which is not going to happen. and also i don't think most of those looks were underappreciated at the time. the most frequent type of look that is oft derided by fans and underutilized by creative staff are the infrequent forays into science fiction concepts. songs like 100%'s beat and more famously vixx's error were quite controversial for no legitimate reason, although honestly i don't remember how beat was received since vixx overshadowed them significantly (justice for 100% actually. the beat styling is better), but considering nobody remembers 100% even existed i'll consider it underappreciated. tbh in the current styling landscape of kpop my beef is less with fans not appreciating a styling (bc fans know exactly jack shit about costuming and will accept anything, even obvious garbage) and more with stylists who are unwilling to actually flesh out a concept. this applies to pretty much everything but i see it most obviously in scifi (and fantasy/horror etc, anything that's not boy/girl next door or school) concepts. one of the few cbs that i do desperately want to have a go around again is obsession bc please god can i finally have ksoo and minseok on the song, but also it's a fantastic concept that got most of the way there, it just could have been so much more interesting out if the stylists weren't cowards.
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jackass-jones · 9 months ago
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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anotheruntitledsong · 10 months ago
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago
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🦋
#LMAO I FUCKING CANT.#so missionaries came to my doorstep-- which is literally just hilarious. even more hilarious? one of them was from hawaii.#they ask about my religion&i tell them bc i dont see any point not to&the yt man speaking to me tells me#he was a surfer back in the day so--&this is a literal quote-- 'i went to hawaii&heard it all as a haole on the beach'#remember this is literally entirely unprompted from a missionary who knocked on my door in response to my answering a question#about my religion. so why did this come up? probably the same reason that he then went to on to ask me what would happen if HE wanted#to join my religion&when i answer 'you would probably have to handle that yourself as religion is entirely personal'#he literally stands there w no answer before going 'well our church accepts EVERYONE no matter what theyve done'#&--again this is a direct quote-- 'we have ppl who have done blood sacrifices to their ancestors who have found the REAL god' LMAO.#he then started talking about how the neighboring apartment complex has a primarily east european community?#like with actual statistics bc appartently he just knows that the next apartment complex over is 80% yt immigrants?#not entirely sure how they had anything at all to do w anything so thats around when i stopped laughing openly at him#&told him my neighbors were coming up the stairs&i found taking up the entire staircase to be incredibly rude#so they needed to get the fuck out lmao&the missionary from hawaii-- who had said almost nothing the whole time lmao--#wouldnt look me in the eye while telling me thank you for my time probably bc he now had to continue doing missionary work#w a man who spent a solid five minutes trying to prove im racist&exclusionay as a default#literally ONLY bc im hawaiian v traditional about it&proud as FUCK about all those facts#whiiiiich only made him look&sound. fucking TERRIBE lmao.#anyway its good to know that several hundreds of years later&a move away from my colonized home where yt missionaries destroyed my culture#i STILL cant fucking get away from yt missionaries&their ABHORRENT behaviour lmao.#i need to start checking who the fuck is at my door before opening it.#or at the v least start letting roxy just fucking tear ppl like this to shreds like she wants bc their vibes are so rank#my dog can't stand at my side w/o her ridge going so far up she doesnt NEED to growl to get the point across lmao.
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fungi-maestro · 2 years ago
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The Question #5 (1987)
#book club#the question#vic sage#aww is someone never going to be able to escape the guilt of the human condition? ❤️#has someone decided to bear the weight of all the mistakes of everyone around them? ❤️#is there someone here that hasn't quite realized that they cant change everything no matter how much they try? ❤️#screams.#dc comics#comics#ok so this. its like TDOVS. except TDOVS didnt get the fact that vic is a little self sacrificing freak!#beyond just death.#what TDOVS got wrong is that they assumed Vic would want to be some kind of leader or something#no. he wants to change everything. by himself. with no help. he NEEDS to do it. but he's painfully human.#and he knows that but he feels like he shouldnt be. no amount of punishment and self sacrifice will make him strong enough to fix everything#the question is commentary on the fact that its so easy to get caught up on change at the individual level that we forget about the system#and ultimately get stuck in cycles of making ourselves suffer because we think we can change it with enough of our blood and sweat and tears#but we forget that we can work together and form communities that work with more than that. and are stronger than even the superman of us.#but Vic gets stuck in that zone. and we've all been there. its universal.#i think thats what makes him such an important hero to me. like. think about the current cycle of learning about current events.#obviously to a lesser extent than what hes doing but isnt doomscrolling and succumbing to depression sort of like this?#i think about that post thats like. 'people who have sparked real change pick one thing and care about it a lot'#but i think we. like vic. cant just pick one thing. theres so much all around us.#like in this story with the multiple characters and their horrible lives. theyre all suffering independently.#and their stories effect each other (like all peoples do) but one person can't change every single one of these stories#no matter how long they stay up#no matter how hard they push themselves#no matter how mucht they punish themselves.#Vic sage is a timeless and human hero.#anyway sorry for rambling i probably could have made this it's own post#but this is how i roll. reaching the tag limit. didn't know there was one....
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synchlora · 5 months ago
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and so it happens once more
#i love my work. dont get me wrong#but they have the same problem as any other nonprofit ever. and even some for profits actually#they cant turn away ppl that pay them big money to keep running their business#it happened at the last shelter it happens here#board members and big donors are god i get it#but we cant sacrifice what this place means for that <- would be what they say in movies#because you can. you do.#all the time!#you have your morals and mission statements but in the end you cant do any of it without donations#and good public reputation#and when you make an enemy of someone who is a donor or board member or prolific person in the community#you lose everything#you lose your reputation your funding your ability to do what it is youre doing#im just so pissed#i knew it wouldnt be different but i wanted it to be#this time its a board member / donor / landlord for our fucking outreach program#they took in a stray kitten (which is fine-ish not great but its okay since theyre practically an employee)#they scheduled an appt for preventatives and intake which is what we always do to make sure theyre not dying#then they never showed up for it#then they complained about diarrhea but still didnt make any effort to make it here#then the week. the 7 day long period that we are moving. they finally can bring the kitten in#she is in the worst shape ive seen in a while#raw butt from diarrhea. URI and third eyelids swollen. cant hardly walk bc her ass hurts too bad. leaking shit. covered in fleas#she is in more pain than cats we've gotten that were hit by cars#and she was with a FOSTER. a BOARD MEMBER FOSTER.#im so pissed off#all of us are and we dont know what to say#she looks like she was found stuck in a sewer full of her own shit for a week she looks like death#im torn between euth with her because i dont know if the recovery she'll need will be worth the pain#shelter posting
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arolesbianism · 10 months ago
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Tiphereth suppression finally complete babeyyyy
#rat rambles#lisa my beloved <3#her brother also exists ig.#I did it first try too which honestly is a relief it took forever idk how many times I could handle doing all that#which also means that the other two are now ready for their core suppressions which is both exiting and scary#exciting because it means that I can tell alruine to fuck off#scary because red mist boss fight 😔#I have no idea what to expect but tbh I rly cant be any more prepared than I already am#I have all the aleph gear not counting apocalypse bird and white night gear#and I have all the waw gear except for the one waw I havent gotten yet#in fact there's only 4 abnos I havent gotten yet I think and two of those are toold#I might stall a bit by memory repositing until I get those out of the way but I also might not idk#what I am starting to have to think abt tho is the two side bosses I previously mentioned#I do think apocalypse bird might be doable for me rn but white knight is a more tricky story#mostly because quite frankly I dont have 12 employees available to sacrifice to start the fight#I can obviously just make some new throaway guys but still#now setting up apocalypse bird would also be annoying since I currently only have judgement bird in my facility#rly Im just not sure which of my guys can or cant handle either boss#cause I do need the manpower but I also just am not confident that most of the gear my guys have will do them much good#now one thing that may be kind of pointless but I still wanna do is get silent orchestras ego gift on one of my guys#because god damn is that a powerful buff even if white damage isnt that common outside of anbno breaches#it would be fun in the sense that thatd make my girl able to solo any abnos that deal white damage#again its good dont get me wrong its just definitely smth that isnt as widly applicable as youd think#but yeah ideally I dont wanna do another day one reset and I rly do think this could be the run#the only reason I reset my first one rly was because I had gotten bored grinding for gear and also just wanted to finish my abno info#collection easier since there was a shit load of low level abnos I was missing#now the only ''''low level'''' abno Im missing is plague doctor for well. obvious reasons.#so yeah I should be pretty good and done with my info gathering within a session or two#tbh I dont even know what the wellfare meltdown looks like but Im much less scared of it than the boss fights I have up ahead#stinky b is also going to be tricky but Im hoping it wont be too bad
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nereidprinc3ss · 6 months ago
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no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin)
in which spencer reid is gentle with overwhelmed fem!reader after sex
18+ (fluff, implied intimacy) warnings/tags: it's just aftercare, but like psychological aftercare, implied intimacy duh, vague descriptions of sex but nothing explicit, hurt/comfort without the hurt, allusions to postcoital dysphoria, reader cries but its not really sad, spencer reid is so kind i wish men were real, i think that is all a/n: guess who wrote an entirely different thing instead of touching her wips..... AGAIN...... this bitch cant do anything omggg!! but this was based on a request so go me also what a strange time to be posting but it's only 1k words and nobody can stop me
“Hey. Are you with me, angel?”
You blink your eyes open in the dark room—reorienting yourself to the tangle of your bodies. How many minutes has it been?
“Hm?”
He chuckles—a quick huff from his nose as he brings a hand up to push hair from your face. 
“I asked you if you’re with me.”
It takes you a moment to answer. You’re still trying to make sense of where you are in space, each sensation coming back to you one by one—the weight and pressure of him against you, the slip of cotton sheets and a cool breeze from the cracked window over your heated sticky skin. 
“Oh.”
It’s not much of an answer and your voice is small. For a moment he lets it sit, cupping your warm cheek. Your eyes flutter shut again. His voice comes gentler, dipped in concern. 
“You okay?”
This time you don’t try to speak. Your tongue is like a lead weight in your mouth and your brain is running on dial-up. The best you can do is to cling to him, hiding your face in the curve of his neck and hoping he’ll understand that your firm hold on him is a request for him to tighten his own arms around you, until you’re sure you won’t float away. He reciprocates and it makes you feel more secure immediately. 
“Can you answer me?” He murmurs, all sweet solicitation, lips brushing the top of your head in this new airtight position. And then, a moment later— “Baby. I wanna hear your voice.”
“Mhm,” you manage. 
Spencer rewards you by rubbing your back in slow circles. His hand feels nice on your bare skin. The way you love him is too big for words. It could make you cry. 
“Wasn’t too much? You’re not hurting anywhere?”
You shake your head and try to ignore the ache in your bones when you can’t seem to get him close enough. 
“Mm-mm.”
It’s not entirely true—your legs are sore, but it’s nothing that needs tending to, and your lower back is a bit crampy, but he’s already working on that. 
He hums. “You’re pretty out of it, sweet girl. What’s going on with you?”
Spencer is always careful with you. He’d never hurt you, or sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure. That said, he’s just as passionate as you are. The stretch of your arms above your head is still fresh in your mind—the ghost of his grip, pressing your wrists into the mattress, or pushing your leg up, or pulling you exactly where he wanted you by the hips. It’s all wonderful, and you never feel safer than you do when you’re with him, but it doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable, any less raw, after all is said and done. Maybe it’s precisely because you trust him so much that you’re so sensitive afterward. But he never, ever makes you feel bad for having an intense reaction to an intense experience. He always meets you where you’re at. That in itself makes you emotional. Spencer is different than any of the partners you’d had before. 
Again, he’s patient as you try to process his question and work up a response. Maybe a minute later, you’re breathing out something that feels true. 
“Overwhelmed.”
The word is a tap against glass you didn’t know was there until it’s fracturing like a spiderweb. With no warning, and for no good reason, you find yourself choked up. 
“Oh,” he says, sympathetic and drawn out as understanding sets in. “Do you need me to back off for a minute?”
You squeeze him even fiercer and shake your head, unable to stop the tears from drawing their shiny paths down your cheeks and sinking into the weave of the pillow case. 
“Shh. You’re okay,” he murmurs, quiet and slow and almost sing-songy as he smooths your hair, though you know he doesn’t really expect you to stop crying. “You’re okay, pretty. Remember what I said about all the hormonal shifts in your body after you come?”
Once more you nod against him with a small, shuddering sniffle. 
“And how sometimes your body regulates by crying? Kind of like a… a reset button?”
“Mhm.”
“Mhm.” He shifts from rubbing your back to tracing light lines in shapeless patterns with the blunt edges of his nails, and your breath catches before you’re melting in his hold. “It’s okay to have big or confusing feelings after sex. It’s actually really common. I just want you to be honest with me about those feelings, right? So we can keep you safe?”
“Right.”
“Would you tell me if you were hurting, or if something I did or said was bothering you?”
“Yes.”
If you were looking at him you know he’d be smiling ever so slightly at your monosyllabic responses, charting an upward path with his hand and pushing it through your hair at the nape of your neck. “You can just nod, baby. You don’t have to talk. I know you’re tired.”
You make a small noise of gratitude and nuzzle closer, feeling better as the tears slow, quickly as they’d come. 
“Do you want a bath in a little while?”
Another nod. He scratches at your scalp. “Okay. We’ll do a bath, and then dinner, and then I’m finally going to make you watch that documentary about Helvetica. It’s a little outdated, and there are a few basic errors about the origin and development of the font as well as misinformation about the typeface subgroup in general, but I can amend those as we watch and afterward we can read the director’s tenth anniversary statement. I was waiting to read it until we watched it together.”
Spencer knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll fall asleep ten minutes in, curled up on the couch under a blanket in your biggest hoodie with your head on his lap and his hand in your hair, just like this. 
He’s actually really looking forward to it.
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peppertoastuniverse · 8 months ago
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pep reads: gojo satoru – long fics (pt.1)
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Part 2
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚
☆ the way you love me by @peachsayshi [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing ◦ 29/? chapters] [smut!] [fwb!gojo] #pep's first fic she was OBSESSED with #real good good smut WITH FEELINGS
“We can stop anytime. If either one of us feels like... this ...might be too much. We stop, no questions .” “We can stop anytime,” Gojo repeated “... and nothing changes between us .” You swallowed hard at his last statement. You may not be able to read his eyes but you could hear it in his voice that he needed reassurance. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends...” you replied softly, “now kiss me before I change my mind.”
☆ you and me by tomodachi [AO3: ] [status: completed ◦ 5/5 chapters] [tear jerker] [eventual smut!] #pep cried #gojo just kinda loves you real hard
“Prisoners say the most comical things when their judgment comes,” you tilt your head, lifting a finger before him, “Who are you?"
--- History is written by the winners, Satoru knew this well. It was only when he lost and got sealed inside the Prison Realm he learned how to be weak and find out a long buried truth.
☆ ito by @peekamatcha [AO3] [status: ongoing ◦ 48/? chapters] [super slow burn] [shinto elements] #pep DIES with every update #the TWIST in that one chapter omg
You, a former sorcerer now working as a university lecturer, were hoping to maintain your distance with the sorcerer world for an eternity to come. However, with the reappearance of an upperclassmen from a decade ago, you are forced to go on a journey which you would rather sit out of. But somebody must save humanity from the impending apocalypse and apparently the job falls on the shoulders of you two.
It would have been alright had he not been everything you didn’t want to be reminded of. And the sacrifices to be made may be more than what had been bargained for. ☆moonlight by @septembersummer [AO3/tumblr:] [status: completed ◦ 10/10 chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #pep SCREAMED
Gojo Satoru is dying. And no, it's not his fault this time.
The curse which is withering Satoru into an early grave is actually the product of his great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, who had a couple of sons that refused to procreate. And what does a proud, powerful man do when his sons refuse to fuck, and there won't be another heir to the clan?
He curses his own bloodline, of course.
It's only natural that he forces them through some twisted form of sorcery to become uncontrollably, violently attracted to the person they're most genetically compatible with.
It's even better that the curse creates a permanent, unbreakable bond between the two unwilling lovers. That's right, it usually takes more than one fuck to make a baby-- so, why not force them to have twelve?
Satoru wished his ancestor would be resurrected from the grave, just so that he could kill him again. That is, before Satoru inevitably dies.
He's had a good run, he thinks. Now, all he has to do is make sure you don't find out that you can fuck him back to life and try to very stupidly save him from himself.
(here's a spoiler: you do).
☆ a typical family by @literalia [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed? ◦ 32/32 chapters] [non liner narrative] [dad!gojo] #pep absolutely MELTED #slice of life #pep's gojo comfort fic
"satoru. where did you get these kids?"
or
after a six month absence, satoru shows up at your door two little kids following behind. chaos ensues.
☆ and if i cant see by hollowdonut [AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 26/? chapters] [slowburn] [eventual smut!] [tw: ptsd] #pep loves the reader's dynamics with gojo!
They say eyes are the window to the soul, but Gojo’s eyes are almost always hidden behind a blindfold. Even when they aren’t, you can never tell what he’s thinking.
You wonder if you should’ve taken that teaching job in Kyoto instead.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚
bonus!
☆ all hail the empress! by @chuluoyi [tumblr/AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 1/? chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #but THE END THO? OMGGG you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...
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takes1 · 4 days ago
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ah, hello kuroken anon again here!!! :> I LOVED LOVED LOOVEDDDD THE PART 2 HAHAGWGSH SOO EXCITED TO SEE HOW IT’LL END!!!! AND MASTERMIND KENMA??? YOU. GET. IT. YOUUU FUCKING GET ITTTT. IM SO CRAZY THATS LITERALLY HOW I THINK HE’D BE IN BED AJAKSIFIRKRJ. thats the team’s brain right there!!!! cant wait to reread this story over and over <3333
thank you again for sparing some time to write even when youre busy with your education, i’m also busy with my education related stuff so you posting your writing at this time is really helping me to keep me going 🫶 good luck to u!!! ^^
[final] kenma sharing you with kuroo
you're a gem and i will sorely miss hearing from you after this part is posted. fuuuuck you made me cry a lil bit 🤏not even kidding omg. i'm genuinely so glad the characterization got through 😫💕and that i could help you in any capacity loves.
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warnings. heavy nsfw, minors DNI
details. fem!reader / porn with plot / threesome / angst, fluff, and smut / jealous?kuroo / secure!kenma / submissive(with conditions)!reader / praisewhore!reader / use of toys / m!rec oral / riding / kuroo working through his emotions / mastermind!kenma / poly!conversations / happy!cuck'd kenma / fluid pecking order / 3k words
links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my ao3. part one here. part two.
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"Good," A little drive-by peck to your temple and Kenma was off the bed, grabbing some water.
"I need a break."
Kuroo filled the space he left verbally and physically-- a starved scan of your body, trembling already, on top of him. His head swiveled from you to Kenma's cute butt. He couldn't keep his hand off of his own cock to save his life, so it didn't surprise you that he stroked himself and checked your boyfriend out at the same time. If you had one, you'd do the same.
"You lazy fuckin' bastard..."
They shared a laugh.
He let the chuckle die for a second, more of a yearning as he looked at you again, "You sure it's alright with you, man?"
You realized you couldn't stop your hands from shaking. You really wanted him.
You both looked at Kenma, who put his hands up, more annoyed that the question kept cropping up, "Promise. I'm fine, I just got- kinda close."
You were brimming with pride at that truthful statement, hips automatically rolled against Kuroo's cock. He could play the role well, but it wasn't natural. Neither was his pace or his intensity, so it made sense that he was forced to sacrifice his already shitty stamina.
Kenma liked slow, smother-y, whiny, missionary stuff that went on for a couple rounds and ended in you both passed out in your own slippery mess. This was all a little pornographic, performative, for a neutral observer.
"F-uck," He groaned, face tense at how well you took him.
He couldn't believe neither of you made him wear a condom. He never fucked raw, and never imagined he would have the chance to get with you. This was too perfect.
Kuroo was on the thicker side, and leaned hard to the left. Two features you weren't accustomed to, but instantly learned to love. He stretched your cunt out so easy- leaving you at a shallow gasp, as he wasted no time to show you how much he had been craving you over the past year.
That pretty, occupied, shock was exactly what he wanted to see.
He grinned, a possessive grip around your throat, "That's what you wanted, huh?"
His lip curled, twitched. He bottomed out and rolled his hips the way Kenma had, earlier.
"You wanted me?"
You squeaked at his premature intensity- nails digging into his shoulders. He squeezed you to prompt an answer.
A whimpery, "Yeah."
Kuroo was different when he let himself talk to you like this, like it was just you two. It felt like he was finally being honest.
It was apparent that he wanted you close, intimately so, and not posed up for Kenma. He was still sipping his water, watching, as if he was hanging out on the bench during a game.
Kuroo fucked you slower, nicer, after he hearing your pitiful sob of an answer.
His thumb rubbed slow, a nearly imperceivable circle in your hip, as he searched your eyes.
"Why didn't ya tell me?" Was so quiet. It made your heart squeeze.
He felt too good, pumping in and out of you so easy, filling you over and over again like it was nothing.
His voice was ever softer, as you were rewiring your brain to make room for a singular thought.
"You hear me, pretty girl?"
You softened at his endless list of nicknames for you- all so methodical and sweet, like he had always thought of you as his baby, his doll, his pretty girl.
"Mhm," Got muffled against his fervent kisses.
It would have to go unanswered. You realized at some point you didn't have a satisfying response for him; even if you did before, you couldn't do his questions any justice, now.
He was like Kenma when he got close. He grew huffy, and leagues worse at kissing. His little taunts were incomprehensible, but the nature of his mumbly, dirty words was enough to get you close and considering the possibility of a future arrangement here.
The idea had you pushing out of his weakened grip, looking towards Kenma. Adoration had filled his features even before he caught you looking at him, evidence that he had nothing to hide.
He came closer to kiss you.
Kuroo allowed you to you lean close to Kenma's ear, amused when you covered your whisper up with your palm, so he had no chance of hearing.
"Let me suck you off again," Was your request.
Kenma stepped back, face too hesitant for your liking. He shook his head, undecided, with a long and quiet hum.
"Please," Your hand fell from his shoulder as he stroked himself, just to see if he could last for it.
You had to beg a few more times, real sweet, real pretty, for him to decide that finishing first wasn't all so bad. It clearly wasn't an original part of his plan, but he couldn't tell you no; not with you all fucked out, waiting for more, on top of his best friend.
"Ohh my god," Kuroo groaned, forcing you still, as he pieced together why Kenma climbed back up, on his knees, at his side.
Your dirty little smile only broke to press a kiss to the tip of Kenma's cock.
"Oh my g-od..." He repeated himself, voice breaking this time.
It was easier from this position, than the one you had been in earlier- the whole reason any of this was playing out now.
The way your tongue stretched out, the hollow in your cheeks, how fucking easy you made it look, and most of all, your pretty little stare up at him was all too perfect. Kuroo didn't blush often, but this was a true surprise, and a moment worthy of the red on his face, now.
He wasn't going to last long, from the start, but this was overload. You had gotten comfortable with him long before he was ever in the picture- knowing exactly how Kenma liked it, what got him closest, the fastest. He didn't make the connection before now, but that's what Kenma had shown earlier, too.
Kenma was huffy, a bit higher in tone, "She got me off the game- ah-h, like-- this,"
One hand was still, twitchy, at his side- one kept your hair back, but didn't control you. His abs flexed, uneven.
"Fuckin' knew it," Kuroo gave a tired, very distracted chuckle.
His shoulders would stoop hard to the side with a big, struggled sigh when you'd take him deeper. You brought out a more submissive side of Kenma. It was a welcome sight.
Kuroo had to let you go to rub the ache from his temples. In the absence of his hands, you rolled your hips. You didn't want to just be a cock warmer-- you wanted him to fuck you. So far, Kenma had been rougher, and that didn't meet your expectations at all.
He seethed, and kept you still again with a shuddery sound, "Don't- don't move."
You came back up, popping Kenma out of your mouth, stroking him quickly as you gave Kuroo a mean stare.
"Relaaax, babygirl, I just need a second--,"
You frowned. So they both couldn't last? You took your frustration out on Kenma- twitching, gasping, at your lubed palm making an embarrassingly quick work of his endurance. He was really cute when he was about to cum.
"Babe- fuck- I'm-- I-h- Ah!," He stuttered, his panting growing quicker, the tension across his body now locked.
He let you to decide what you wanted. You could feel him tense as you kept your tongue laid flat, swirled in little circles on the underside of the tip, as you pumped the rest of his length.
"Mm-h, fuc-k--"
"Aah, ah-hh-!"
Kuroo had to scratch little divots into his palm to keep himself sobered enough. He watched along in awe as you swallowed, hardly any labor on your brow. You looked at him the whole time, this impossible innocence in your steady gaze.
Kenma was a work of art, his mouth parted, lips wet with drool, his brow tense at how you kept sucking at his sensitive tip. He adored you. There was no hope for Kuroo to replace that, going either way.
"Oka-y, okay," Kenma pulled you off with a shuddery sigh.
He muttered, "I love you s'much," against your scalp as you licked your fingers clean. After stealing a kiss, he sat back on his heels, a hand rested on Kuroo's shoulder.
There was a sorry lack of quips from him. He wasn't being a smartass anymore, or even funny. He was acting a little dull, like Kenma after a couple rounds. You tilted your head down at him, analyzing what the hell happened.
He returned it, his intense, deep eyes cutting right through you.
You softened your expression. Maybe he was still in there.
"He won't move," You pouted to Kenma, as if he could possibly do something about it.
He covered his snicker with his hand- Kuroo rolled his eyes but got cut short when you tried to move your hips up and back down. His nails dug so hard into you that you gave a small whimper- trying to pry his hands away, unsuccessfully.
"If she doesn't stop doing that, I'm gonna fuckin' cum," In a similar fashion to you, he looked at Kenma, like he could fix it, "I'm so serious, bro- it's not even funny."
Kenma gave a loaded sigh. He did look like he was thinking for a solution.
Kuroo had your face in his big hand, warning you, to be still. You liked the sound of him cumming inside you, and how he was barely holding himself together, so you only met his harshness with a small, maniacal smile.
After rifling through the sheets, Kenma found your favorite vibrator and wiggled it with pride in front of Kuroo. He didn't disappoint; he truly had a solution for everything.
"Dunno how I forgot about this," He muttered, clicking through the settings to the only one you actually used.
As he took the time to do this, you clocked that he was still half-hard, even after two orgasms, and felt some butterflies in your tummy. He glanced your bodies over with a little smirk.
He kissed right behind your ear, "Let's try leveling the playing field, yeah?"
It was easy to act all big and bad when they were both closer than you. Once they had you on your back, completely honed in on just your body, your short-lived confidence was shaken.
In a similar, reverse fashion, Kuroo was back to his original state: an irritating tease.
He was eager to listen to and watch Kenma as he cuddled up to your side.
"We usually don't go for this long-," He admitted, making him smirk.
He took one leg hostage to spread you before pressing your vibrator up to your clit.
"A-hh-ah-!" You twitched, under all the sudden pleasure.
"But you're getting spoiled today, huh?" Your partner chuckled, a little kiss to your temple.
This may have been one of the few times Kuroo didn't keep his cock in his hand. The whole point was to get him further away from a climax, after all.
He used that effort to take your opposite side, in an almost identical orientation as Kenma. Your other leg was relieved of its fatigue once Kuroo wouldn't let it go.
If he focused too hard at the delicious tension in your face, or the way Kenma had to keep you forcefully still, he had to look away for twice as long with a big, calming sigh.
"She is such a pretty thing," He muttered, during one of these moments.
"Sooo pretty," Kenma agreed. He watched Kuroo's affliction, how it seemed more than just physical.
Another little peck to your sweaty temple, as you squirmed and flexed, panting, under their weight and pulling, "You should tell Kuro how much you want him."
They couldn't let you rest. It was psychological torture paired with the most a dizzying turn of events you hadn't prepared for.
It was, all things considered, a simple task.
A fluttery sigh- then a short, pitiful whine at how Kenma was making it hard again-
"I think- ah! I-i... I've 'ad a-... crush- on you-- Mh!"
Your pushing against his forearm became compromised as Kuroo laced his fingers through yours, pulling your hand to his lips. He listened closely.
That little tension around his eyes seemed to melt, his smirk becoming more of a smile. It was partially amusement at how difficult it was for you to speak, but it was also something he needed to hear.
"You're- h-ah-- soo hot," You seethed, unfocused eyes finally landing on his face, how he pressed that kiss real slow into the back of your hand, eyes unfaltering, "'And-- mmm, s-ooo sweet."
His true nature, with his guard down, didn't even show much like this. When he let loose, you could see that he was not much of a scheming, cunning, captain naturally. He was a big cutiepie that filled the gaps of his loneliness with too many distractions. That left him feeling guilty. Which, in turn, gave him more reason to compensate with the same sinful crutches.
It was easy to feel empathic for him as he gave you those big puppy dog eyes, but it was the very affinity for these crutches that got him all fired up at your words.
"Yeahh-," He gave another, rougher kiss to your hand, and sighed, "You're gettin' dicked down for that one."
Kenma chuckled at his silly, sudden change in attitude. You smiled, relieved, to see that you didn't have to move, that Kuroo would actually go for missionary, because this edge was heaven.
When he was settled between your legs, filling you up again to the base of his cock- he leaned forward and swerved to hold Kenma's face in one of his hands.
"I see what you're doin'."
Surprise was all over his delicate features.
"You're not subtle," He spat, using a rough kiss as the end of it.
They shared a long, messy kiss that spurred Kuroo to start fucking you- your gasps, whines, only encouraged him, only inspired their curiosity.
Maybe Kuroo did understand that Kenma had a higher plan; one that involved persuading you to come clean about your secret feelings, and use that as a weapon to inspire action in Kuroo. What remained ambiguous was why.
As distracted as Kenma was, he still didn't let off of your poor, overstimulated clit. They were both so rough in their respective tasks, and every time you tried to move one of them, your hands would be intercepted.
You had to just lay there and take it.
The 'why' kind of- fell away, when he parted from Kenma's soft lips, looking down at your clingy, blacked-out expression. Needy. He didn't get that look often- it made his cock swell, and turned his thrusts harder, as he felt you tighten.
"Fuck-! Ughh-" He had to swallow the build-up of spit in his mouth, push his sweat-soaked hair back, "You gonna cum around my cock?"
You responded so well to the pain on his face, the wanton desire behind the way he dug into your hips and watched Kenma lean over you for more kisses.
"Right in front of your- Mmh, pretty- little- boyfriend?"
In your pseudo-daze, riding that high, long-awaited build-up, you could feel Kenma sigh against your mouth at the attention.
"Fuck- fuck, fuck--!" You gasped- your pussy spasmed around his perfect cock.
Kuroo bit the inside of his already chewed up cheek to keep from cumming inside of you.
He felt your nails dig hard into his hand on your hip, your other one adding another trophy to Kenma's scarred shoulders. It was confirmation that Kenma had been lying to the team in the locker room on dozens of occasions, talking nonsense about a cat somehow scratching him up.
"Mmh-h-Ah-!"
It was nearly impossible to listen to you, as he fucked you hard through it all. Kenma recognized that expression well, a little proud smirk at his friend's restraint, and at how good your pussy was to keep him so obedient.
You were coming down, stupid and breathless, when he rushed to pull out of you.
"F-uck, a-ah-Haah, shitshitshit," He whined.
He was shaking, panting, and unsure if he had pulled out in time.
The nasty, addictive feeling of hot, sticky cum painted all between your folds, in the sheets, over your vibrator, tummy, inner thighs, and Kenma's hand.
His face was twitchy, but slowly spread to a panic that wasn't shared between you and Kenma.
Kenma considered torturing him longer, but decided against it.
"Birth control," He clarified, then repeated at Kuroo's empty-headed expression, "She's on birth control."
Kuroo gave a big, loud groan, slouching back to sit on his ankles: "Thank God- Ohhh-! Thank God, Holy shit...fuck."
This relationship had too many cum-hungry habits to not take every precaution. Aside from condoms.
His exhausted relief left him cracking his neck, rubbing his warm face at the sight of how covered you had gotten. He nearly missed Kenma licking the back of his own wrist.
You still looked as cute as ever, all sleepy and drenched. He couldn't help but shimmy lower, just to press a mean kiss to your slicked-up and tired clit.
"Ah-!" You squealed, thighs squeezed around his head.
Thankfully, he didn't intend to stay. He wiped the excess cum off of his cheek, finding it a little too salty for his taste, and chuckled at your quivering form.
Kenma was already taking on the responsibility of cleaning up. It left Kuroo to mess with you a bit longer and nestle up to your side again.
Kenma was on a mission for a warm rag for your slick, starting-to-be-sticky body and pulled on some clothes. He finished his water and excused himself to go grab more, for the two of you.
He watched him leave. It was quiet, except for your still-shaky breathing.
"You okay, babydoll?" Kuroo used his big hand to guide your face towards him, sharing in a few long, soft kisses.
You still kissed him with the same passion as earlier, even though Kenma wasn't around.
A weak, "Mhm."
"Was I too rough with you?"
You smiled, the question somehow able to make you blush, "N-o, you were- you were great."
Kuroo grinned, but it was a little empty. He wasn't optimistic about the reality of the aftermath. One fling, a spur-of-the-moment threesome, was fun, exciting, new. What about after that? After the newness wore off?
The last kiss you shared was a bit harder, rushed, for a reason you couldn't pick apart. He kept talking to you as he moved off of the bed and started getting dressed again.
"Y'know- I thought you and Kemma fucked like old people."
You chuckled, "Oh, really?"
"Yeah- but... you taught me a couple things."
Kuroo knew he would never be satisfied if he was seen as the outsider- but there was no room for him in your dynamic, from what he had seen so far.
He had no idea where he phone was, so he began searching for it, and it took so long that Kenma was already coming back in.
"Where are you going?" Kenma clocked him instantly.
You opened your eyes, confused- and now Kuroo had both of you looking at him like a fox in your henhouse.
"Well- I," He chuckled, again, empty, and you sensed it now, "I just- thought this was-..."
Kuroo swallowed, way more emotionally invested than he wanted to be. Usually, he could brush off that 'Why are you leaving?' look, as a sort of trophy sometimes, in recognition that he fucked somebody well. Here, he felt like a genuine asshole.
Kenma had a rag balled up in his hand, dripping onto the floor like a weapon. He set two bottles down on the bedside table without looking away from him.
"I don't know how you managed to twist it all up in your head, Kuro-," He walked closer, shoulders squared, until he was a little too close. Kuroo mimicked him, naturally.
You covered your mouth, a little too trembly, naked, and uninformed to contribute.
He was incredibly frustrated, as he continued, "-But I know you're not heartless. If you walk out--,"
"What?" Kuroo laughed, egging him on.
"I'm gonna beat your ass."
Kuroo laughed harder, brow furrowed, eyes searching down at him.
Disbelief laced his voice, "Oh, yeah?"
Kenma pushed him. It wasn't hard, but it made him take a step back. Kuroo blinked, and all the amusement had vanished, leaving only irritation in its wake.
It was unironically quite a scary display- you had already taken the initiative to sit up and cover yourself with a blanket. You were swimming in your own guilt. If you had said no, or just never liked him in the first place, it wouldn't have gotten to this point.
Kenma looked incredibly small with Kuroo's heavy hands on his shoulders.
"Good thing-," His hand slid down to Kenma's, interlacing their fingers, with a quick kiss to the top of the head, "I'm not leaving."
You shared big sigh of relief with Kenma.
"Fuck you," He muttered, giving into a grumpy kiss.
Kuroo's brow raised, already cheerful, and satisfied that he was wanted, especially enough to warrant that kind of reaction from Kenma. It was successful at settling any present doubts that this was just surface-level lust at play.
"Mm- maybe next time, yeah?"
He caught sight of you, all worried and bundled up in your blanket, "Aaww, sweetie-!"
"You poor thing-," He quickly returned to hug you, a thousand apologetic kisses to your head, "I would never hurt Kemma."
The only problem left to address was your stickiness, now also all over that one throw blanket. They both shared in the arduous task of cleaning up. The two were back to goofing around, showering you in compliments, apologies, and kisses for getting so stupid and worked up while you were caught in the middle.
Kenma had put his foot in the figurative door for something pretty special between the three of you. It would be a process, navigating this new thing together. If it meant more of this, though, it was worth a shot.
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☆VIP☆
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jamieenthusiast · 4 months ago
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I yap about Forever + Falling with you
Forever being the end song to murder drones- and its lyrics being what they are
gives me the impression Murder Drones was a big love story about opening up and trust hidden under mounds of comedy and violence
And I dont mean that it ACTUALLY is, its more just.. a silly little feeling I get when i listen to it
Theres something about the song thats so... cozy? So like, softly spoken. A very hummable melody from one lover to another.
also falling with you, like what the fuck
never in my life have I felt a track was so carefully crafted- and prepared, carved out for two specific characters in one specific moment.
She made the choice to sacrifice herself- for him. In her eyes it was the end and if at the end of everything she could guarantee the life of one person it was going to be the one she loves, she didnt know what would be at the other end,
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The thing is, he wanted to be there for her. Even when they're knocking on deaths door, he needs to be there.
Its like trust fall exercise, except the focus isnt on 'catch me' cause they'd never let the other fall,
its about making sure they dont fall when youre not looking. It hurts both parties, to crash without warning and to see the one you love fall
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I *love* that they dont speak here. She looks to the side, shifting her glances before looking at him.
An unspoken guilt ridden apology.
The response he chooses?
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forgiveness,
Even if the result of her actions hurt him- her intentions were good and meant to be entirely in favor of him
And in this moment, with their current history and with a yet to be seen future, he forgives her,
Cause at the very least, they're together again. He could save her.
And her look just, screams thank you to me.
Thank you for forgiving me, saving me-
for everything :) /ref
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lighthearted preparation for whats to come :)
legitimately, what she says, reiterating herself "die mad bitch"
knowing theyre heading into the end of the world to prevent it?? Theyre going off to the fucking trenches together, key word this time being together
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And then the horrible unexpected !
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Uzi is ripped away from N, confronted with what her home has become, the universe is practically screaming at her to fix it, pushing her towards the end without mercy
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But shes not doing it alone, she cant do it alone, not again, not this time
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And he wouldnt let her
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The universe could endlessly attempt to wield its cosmic grasp to push these two apart but itd never work, itd never end with them alone
Their love- their pure devotion to each other,
is so celestial in its own right
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Not super related to my ramble but i love that in them becoming official (I will not call this a confession, N definitely confessed the previous episode)
Uzis so.. wagh.. her eyes.
That trademark look of panic or worry- I mean what would you expect from the black sheep of the colony? Being excluded on the daily, left to your own abandoned devices?? The reassurance she was requesting just, ughh.. my heart...
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and the way. He fucking looks at her
Its so, soft. He knows she has not a thing to worry about. His heart is completely and utterly hers. Where most would die for their love, he lives for her.
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The universe would be dammed to ever try and separate pure unbridled love like this ever again
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ERM< ANYWAY that was super gay ew idk why im like. obsessed with their relatinshuio ahhajfhdgjbsjhfm someone blow me up
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alicentsgf · 5 months ago
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So interesting to me that so many people think the Dyana rape scene was about Aegon. Lmao no. Unfortunately it was very clearly about Alicent. It was all about the scene we get with Alicent and Dyana afterward. It wasn't foremost about making Aegon an explicitly horrible person. It wasn't about demonizing him. He was collateral.
They didn't map out the consequences well enough, but what they wanted was to showcase that Alicent was a victim of sexual assault. To show her empathising with Dyana, but unable to do anything to truly punish Aegon. They underestimated how much this would make the audience hate Aegon even though TGC tried to tell them. Again and again we've seen these writers sacrifice character arcs for character moments and I think thats what happened here. They sacrificed Aegon's characterisation for Alicents but in doing so they added nothing of worth to Alicents character either. No amount of scenes of alicent crying is going to confront the audience with her victimhood the way scenes showing how she truly was trapped in a corner by Viserys actions, Rhaenyras decisions, by the threat of Daemon, etc. Something the writers held back on because they didnt want to demonise Rhaenyra, which you cant do without essentially making Alicent look like a paranoid idiot that caused the war for no good reason to a general audience who isnt deeply familiar with this world. Which they're now regretting, because they clearly want people to understand and care about both Alicent and Rhaenyra, (even tho they keep telling people to pick a side in promotion 🙄) so they try to walk it back by adding yet more scenes of Alicent being depresso. Alicent being 'humbled'. "Shes good we promise! Just misled! Her tiny womens brain cld never concieve of politics she just wants to do lie in a field!" Like. Please someone put me down like a sick dog.
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