#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.
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thinking about 1863 again......
(utc bc this is kinda long, but while im here. orv epilogue spoilers ahead!!)
the 1863rd turn is probably the single time i related to kim dokja the most...... like. i know theres no reason to be upset about han sooyoungs plan. its perfectly reasonable and the person its the most unfair to, yoo joonghyuk, also goes along with it of his own free will. its a very clean ending all things considered. its even very satisfying writing-wise - the protagonist sacrifices everything and suffers constantly in order to finally get what he truly wants. i can see how the star stream accepted a story like this - i know i would read it.
but its also completely unacceptable. you cant just cast aside the protagonist! you cant just pile all this pain and suffering on him with no reprieve!! and most importantly, you cant end the story like this!!!! what about everything he fought so hard for??? he cant just give up! hes yoo joonghyuk!!! this isnt the ending i want (i dont want it to end) i want him to be happy (i cant let him have the one thing he really truly wants) this ending isnt fair (to me)!!!!
oh. this kind of mirrors how orv goes, doesnt it...... like. 1863!hsy balanced out the probability of keeping all of yjhs companions alive and completing the scenarios by offloading it all onto yjh. the only way to get this kind of ending is if yjh becomes the enemy of the whole world and loses all his loved ones and then ceases to exist at the end. which is completely unacceptable to the reader who cares about the protagonist...... so of course. kdjs way of getting his perfect ending is bearing the probability himself. he becomes the enemy of the whole world and sacrifices himself over and over and then ceases to exist at the end. he takes on the role of protagonist to save yjh from that fate, not realizing that changing whos in the drivers seat doesn't change the fact that the ending is unacceptable. the very idea is unfathomable to him because he cant imagine someone loving him the way he loves yjh.......
and even the ending is mirrored - 1863!yjh is saved and his story continues because kim dokja interferes. the reader is an active participant in the story - they decide what happens after the ending that was designed by the author, enacted by the character, and demanded by the world of the story. so if you want to save kim dokja, you have to do your part as the reader. the author alone cant go against the decided ending, but the reader can imagine a new ending where there were no consequences and everyone is happy, and the act of imagining it makes that ending real. the ending you wish for matters, because the reader is just as vital to the storytelling process as the author....... like. the fact that this ending plays out in microcosm like halfway through the novel???? oh my god??????
#this is probably nothing that hasnt already been said before but augh. i cant stop thinking about them......#this fucking novel man. i need to lie down#orv#orv spoilers#biggie tumbles
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Excellent choice, the slash dash build is generally considered the more 'meta' one for lvlcap but also I dont care personally and like katanas and laser swords Read more bc this is gonna be long AND unstructured. Like, really fucking long
So excalibur-ESPECIALLY his exalted blade builds-struggle a lot wherein you have to sacrifice either a large chunk of damage or a large chunk of survivability and i swear all the loud dubstep intro youtubers kinda forget about that. You'll quickly find yourself getting frustrated you cant just barely eke out one or the other, but WHATEVER (Also apologies for shitty formatting)
This is my general purpose build for umbra himself specifically leaning into his exalted blade, though it should be noted you can definitely swap things out depending on what you want from him. In this case, i like red crits, so wrathful advance-it makes chromatic blade crit, and combined with 747% status chance from the augment thats a lotta damage. That being said, i am aware not everyone skill issues like me into the sun, so i'll be providing alternatives depending on your tastes and how you wanna flavour your sword frame. Treat this more as a pick and choose, rather than a bible for what to do always. My mods are selected based on my playstyle and skill lvl, and it works into high SP lvls, but everyone is different. Theres some things that i could update looking at this-but admittedly, i havent touched it in a little while. This particular build is on the squishier side, and has some quirks born from problems i ran into with general day to day play.
Disclaimer; i am not a uber stronk gamar who never gets hit by anything. For such builds there are ten billion youtube videos. Don't care for the explanation? Easy summary of my build only; 2 Umbrals + brief/rolling + reaper + healing return = dual health/shield tanking. Combo with Guardian for shield refresh. Arcane fury for raw damage. Archon flow with cold emissive chromatic blade for energy gen, + corrosive on blade for armour strip. Lean into crit chance/damage/raw damage/faction if not lazy. Status chance covered by Chromatic blade.
Companion is dethcube with tenacious bond + vulklok to hit crit threshold. Energy generator + guardian for orbs and shield. other mods to taste, synth deconstruct good for healing + shard equilibrium. Madurai for ability strength or Naramon for combo decay reduction. Even vazarin for survivability isnt bad. Up to taste/needs, Subsume wrathful over 2 for crit chance.
Shards are
-2 amber tauforged (Energy orb efficiency-can replace one with casting speed, could get rid of other one for more melee crit damage but wouldn't recommend it) -2 Violet tauforged (one equilibrium style, other melee crit damage) -1 Azure tauforged (for raw health, but can replace with more melee crit damage easily. im just scared a lot) Keep reading if you want reasonings/alternatives!
Base frame mods/Arcanes
In terms of his survival, you can either lean heavily into health tanking if you wanna do gloom (in which case, replace brief respite with growing power, or even corrosive projection if you dont run smth else for armour strip like corrosive. Adaptation is still not worth it though over rolling, bc he has zero innate DR and no status cleanse), or do your conventional pure shield tanking with your 1/2/3 being your shield refresh button with brief respite/rolling guard/, and replace reaper with smth like aegis, or even a damage/ability arcane like molt augmented. Or you can mix it up, like I do, since i supplement my shields with my drone (i'll get to that in a minute) and use a single tauforged blue for base health.
Either way, he has nothing for survival, and you CANNOT do invis based survival bc exalted blade breaks shade/huras, you'll be running around too much for quiver to be consistent (unless you like doing that silly arrow trick in the sentinel) and....well, you're welcome to try and consistently headshot with a sword. Invuln based survival is a slash dash only, im afraid. If you do slash dash, invis through companion is your go-to, with rolling in the event your little dude dies. (I like not clenching my ass even during basic missions, and I like scaling beyond basic lvl 400 stuff so) Raw stat-wise, you obviously want to run duration + strength. Efficiency is the drop stat here bc going negative range reaaaally sucks for furious javelin, and also affects your 1, which in this build is basically rolling guard...2! As mentioned, you become fully invulnerable, so if your rolling guard is down you can ride out a status effect with it, or if you find yourself low health etc. The 'duration' is dependent on how many enemies you chain to-which is affected by range. Hence, low efficiency, higher duration to compensate. It wont do as much damage bc you'll be using your 4 as its stat determiner, but it should still be decent. High strength is self explanatory. (It should be noted that even if you slash dash into nothing, you'll still get a brief window of invulnerability. No shame in hurtling yourself down a corridor with it)
Arcane wise, as expected on a melee build, fury is basically compulsory for that big damage spike. You could run avenger, but it won't be the most consistent since ideally you're either shield gate invulnerable or slowing shit down with gloom to prevent getting hit mostly entirely. Arcane strike is another alternative, if you want to not need to slot any attack speed mods at all. As for the other slot-basically, either run reaper if you want hp regen, or aegis if you reaaaally want to commit to shields. Or, if you're confident in your rolling skills, slot on more ability strength/duration/melee boosting arcanes. Hell, energize is a good option, but i hate recommending it bc i still dont have it maxed :,D I am not that confident in my shield tanking (ESPECIALLY since i used to mostly do endurance runs against infested pre toxin/disruptor nerf), so hence my choice. No matter what you do, your biggest enemy will remain nullifiers and toxin eximus. Under absolutely NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you allow yourself to be caught with no energy/unable to cast, so treat him like a squishy caster frame, not a tanky melee frame.
NOTE: You can use normal primed flow. You want base energy for violet shard threshold (and energy ofc), but specifically archon flow is there because exalted weapons count as ability kills, which we'll be touching on in a sec.
Augments
We love chroma jank Furious javelin is one of those mods which reaally should be base functionality, because Radial javelin does so little damage its nonexistent. It's a lot better than it seems, because the damage multiplier basically acts like a melee only pre-change eclipse without the lighting fuckery. Sticking it in a large group, with decent ability strength you can easily reach several hundred %. That being said, there are some build variations without this, with javelin being subsumed for something else and purely leaning on the raw weapon damage instead. (Usually status DOT based blade builds are the ones that do this, which...i don't like status that much. I am biased bc status builds fall apart real fast when it comes to single target damage against stuff like acolytes/necramechs etc. Violence is terrifying and your goal is not to explode to them.) There is a sort of line-of-sight mech, but its a bit wonky-but generally, range = more enemies hit. Roll your way into a crowd and hit it. Chromatic blade is basically compulsory for any exalted blade build. It means we dont need to build any status chance on the weapon itself, and can commit to other multipliers. As for the status on the blade...well, it depends, AGAIN, on taste. I am forever afraid of no energy, so I run cold; this allows me to use archon flow for free orbs, with corrosive modded onto the weapon. You could also do electricity for corrosive, or heat for viral/heat (or heat/corrosive, your taste). Archon continuity also works, if you wanna only rock pure toxin. The world is your oyster! Just keep in mind the element does combine, but it'll prioritize what's on the blade itself.
Exalted Blade
Copy pasting the picture so you dont need to scroll lol
If i had made this build post galvanised mods, I would use them over sac steel. This is because Wrathful advance already covers my crit needs, so more raw crit damage would be better. Likewise, replacing gladiator might with galvanised elementalist or a faction mod may be better, and I would swap berserker fury with magnetic rush.
The reason why I am using 'may' and 'might' here is because it really, really isnt needed.
lvl 205 steel path corrupted gunners with basically 0 combo explode violently all the same. If you have those new mods, put them on! Or don't. Just treat it as you would any other crit based melee. Just keep in mind chromatic gets rid of the slash damage that comes with exalted's stats. Your damage modding does matter more if you decide to go for a more tanky build with gloom or eclipse, though.
What tennokai you use also is really up to taste, but its important you have it, so you can get free wrathful procs if you're using wrathful advance, or well...free heavies in general.
Companion
Because exalted is a channel, regen based energy sources do not work at all. So, you'll need orbs. Archon flow in my experience is not enough, even with all the shards i have slotted, so here comes dethcube to save the day.
Keep in mind the only really 'compulsory' mods are tenacious bond (for crit damage), Energy generator and Guardian. Everything else is to taste; but duplex bond is even more energy, momentous bond helps with damage + uptime, and everything else is general utility or survivability. Any vulklok build with a crit mod on it should push you over the 50% required.
Focus school
Really, this one is just whatever is comfy for you. Zenurik is always nice for the starting energy + ability strength from hardened wellspring, Madurai is...madurai, and Naramon is always nice for anything involving melees. Vazarin is solid for keeping you alive as usual, and Unairu helps with armour strip. I use zenurik bc again, im always shrieking about energy, but Madurai is best.
Subsumes I use wrathful because red crit = satisfying damage, and I love nuke or die builds. However! You can also run Roar or Xata's or Nourish if you wanna buff your damage in other ways (nourish in particular solves energy problems real well so it was very tempting). IRC Wrathful maths out to be the highest multiplier for raw damage, tho. Gloom or Eclipse are also very solid defensive options (as expected), but keep in mind you'll be losing a modifier for damage. There are prolly other funny options like tempest barrage for corrosive/viral if you wanna run the augment, or fuckin. Reave? Actually that would be a funny one now that i think about it but these are my solid picks. Gloom is safe. Gloom is comfy. Everyone puts gloom on everything for a reason. Same with eclipse. But personally, I think warframe is most enjoyed when walking on the edge of an explosion you yourself are generating.
As for what to subsume over, your 2 or 1 are my recommendations. Again, blind does nothing against eximus or overguarded enemies, so imo its the weakest of the kit if you're using javelin aug, whereas 1 can still be used as a consistent survival tool. If not using FJ, get rid of javelin obviously lol
Shards
Now, the 'optimal' sharding would probably be something like 4 violet tauforged for melee crit damage, 1 for casting. But in anything that has lower enemy density/has infested, you'll probably find yourself struggling a little. I like to make my builds as general purpose as possible; aka not only comfortably playable in survival sp missions. Hence, energy efficiency + equilibrium lite.
Energy effectiveness affects how much is recovered from the equilibrium as well, and we cant really fit the base mod on because Excal is already a 2 augment warframe with the only survivability coming from mods, so we're already strapped for space horrifically so. You could replace the equi shard with another crit damage one, though. I dont run casting bc i dont personally feel the need for it (the only thing with real casting delay is your 3, which isn't used too frequently) As for the azure shard, Reaper is hp% recovered, so it gives more wiggle room. Not needed at all, but again, i mod for comfort in a wide variety of missions, and this is what I personally find comfortable.
Realistically, if you arent a coward like me, smth like 1 casting, 1 energy orb effectiveness and 3 melee crit damage shards is more than enough. You could also experiment with the elemental shards; remember, exalted blade is considered an ability AND melee.
Anything else?
For weapons, bring at least one gun-or even melee!-that can gun down an acolyte by itself. I know that defeats the purpose somewhat, but violence is the menace of every casting frame everywhere, and even if your weapons can oneshot, nothing can account for shitty spawns. JUST IN CASE. JUST IN CASE!
Unfortunately, you cannot stat-stick exalted blade with gladiator mods. This is partially why desert wind is so much better than exalted. Any gladiator mods you wanna use? gotta be on it.
yes i did have to forma away umbral polarities. yes it does feel treasonous.
No, this build does not fare exceptionally well against rogue necramechs or archons or anything with that style of damage attenuation. Unfortunately, theres nothing in excal's kit that can bypass that. Not even slash dash. In fact slash dash builds are worse for that, as it cannot properly target them, and you'll burn through energy spamming it on one target.
If the sentience of umbra/disabling of buffs when going into operator pisses you off, dont forget the exilus augment is available. I personally dont really care, so i just slapped psf in there bc its a crutch at this point lmao
if you want the same experience as excalibur with half the stress and thrice the damage, just play baruuk. But where's the fun in that?
Well now that I’ve asked arthur out can someone please tell me how to make excalibur umbra good
#i. think. that is everything. god#again. my apologies if this is WAY MORE than expected. also absolutely not cleaned up#i love excalibur but he's just got a handful of bare painpoints with his exalted weapon that makes it obviously the weaker build#but the fantasy is cooler. really hes one of the go to examples of the issues with exalted weapons imo#he also clearly has residual old frame syndrome in the form of furious javelin.#it feels like a leftover from the age where abilities WERE mods#but zato is a cool skin and arthur is an EXCELLENT blorbo. so#we make do#i dont think hes a terrible frame at all. but i also dont think hes an S tier frame especially with current powercreep#like...a solid high B tier. middling. scales the worst out of the starting trio imo for sp but not bad by any means.#A tier if you use slash dash but its not perfect by any means. ESPECIALLY if you run it against corpus.#ten billion nullifiers come to make you scream#slash dash is mostly the same as above but with a stat-stick magistar and more of a focus on range instead of duration
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Obviously a lot of season 2 focuses on Jinx's compassion and love and kindness, what with Sevika's new arm, getting her family back, and everything with Isha. But one scene that really struck me is when Ekko tries to talk her off that roof. She pulls the trigger again and again before he can even speak cause she knows he'll change her mind. But what struck out at me was that, when he complains about being blown up, she opts instead to throw herself from the roof. She had it all planned out but would choose to improvise rather than harm someone who considers her a loved one.
#LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE#SHE JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED AND IT WAS ALL RIGHT THERE FOR JUST A SECOND WHY IS IT DENIED HERRRRRR#idk if it's cause he called her old friend or not but that doesn't make it less heartwrenching it honestly makes it more so#UGH and the fact that he succeeded in talking her down using powder's lesson#ugh she had everything for just a little bit#peace and even love with her sister. restoring her dad's mind. a daughter who made all that even possible for her. love rekindled with Ekko#and then it was all snatched away#honestly i kinda prefer her dying. like i get why she faked her death. too many memories still hurting her#but idk i like the narrative conclusivity of her sacrifice and what it means thematically#but i also like the other one so pffffft#jinx arcane#powder arcane#do i like her cause her story is incredible or because shes basically just harley quinn? the answer may surprise you#both the answer is both#jinx#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcane netflix#ekko arcane#tw suicide#tw self harm#god i love how every detail is just so precise. remove one piece and it cant work the same#like not only is episode 7 necessary to make their story work but also its SO BEAUTIFUL#that stromae song and fantastic are my favorites of the whole show's soundtrack#and like so many pieces of media will use licensed music but the artists will clearly have no idea what their songs are actually for#so they just make whatever. even spiderverse just kinda winged it with the music and what went where#but it's so clear the artists involved in this show knew exactly what they were making music for and man i couldn't be more grateful for it
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been making concepts for magical girl adukin au.. i am forming a semi-consistent plot & having fun.. i might draw some other characters in magical girl outfits even if ive sort of laid out what the "canon" magical girls are for the au, but idk who i would draw.. maybe fusakin and syumitaro because well. ones a balloon with a human body and the other is God
#ekurambles#i really like this au if i am being honest even if it is just for funsies.. been working on it inbetween doodles and requests#i have a lot of things jotted down on how adukin even like.. became a magical girl in the first place#& i definitely think it could tie into her feelings in the maingame after the events of mo3#with her feeling like she wasnt as good of a person as jack is but instead of getting manipulated by mdcr#she sacrifices her own selfworth to act more like a hero and force herself to be someone she isnt (“magical girl adu”)#rather than accept who she is and not try to live as a cheap copy of someone who already loves & cares abt her *for* who she is.#taking on a much more dangerous nightlife as a magical girl just to feel like she can amount to any of what jack has done#& that'd probably also lead into jack and his magical boy form where he just wants to help protect her even though adukin hates that idea#she knows she can protect herself and she knows jack isnt trying to say that shes weak (he thinks shes really fucking strong)#but she cant accept his help without accepting herself first otherwise shes just going to keep comparing herself to someone-#-who already thinks shes perfect as the foulmouthed yet kind numa that she is#+ the whole thing with bachikin being the villain shes trying to defeat even if she doesnt know that#because like. she loves bachikin. it is an adubachi-based au afterall#bachikin is only doing these things to create what she thinks is a perfect world#where it's just her and adukin and nobody can judge them or keep them apart#shes been an awful person in the past and she doesnt know how to handle these emotions shes feeling#so she thinks that she has to deal with it the same way that she's dealt with all of her problems in the past#taking what she wants (adukin) and not letting anyone else near her#and bachikin is completely unaware that adukin is the one trying to stop her from doing this#probably in part because she doesnt want to believe that adukin wouldnt also want to live in that idealized world shes created for them-#-in her mind.#...Ok i gotta shut the fuck up this is way too long.
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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tumblr centrist liberals stop acting like voting is the most influential and important political activity you can participate in challenge
#me donating to mutual aid posts on tumblr and donating esims to people in gaza has done worlds more influence than any vote i ever did#people who risk their lives in protests do more than voting#i firmly believe that#this isnt a Voting is Pointless post this is Voting is the Barest Minimum#voting is easy. when there’s no outside barriers its so fucking easy.#you fill in a card and call it a day. its easy to feel like you made a difference when all you did is fill in some dots.#yall barely even follow up on who you vote for or even Care if the people you vote for fail you#its the perfect thing for weak liberals to attach to#treat it like the be all end all with activism and you have the easiest get out of real political action card#no need to get your hands dirty if you did all you needed to#as someone who DOES vote. voting is the easiest political thing i engage with. everything else is a risk. or at least a sacrifice.#voting is barely anything to me. i dont feel like i do Anything with it. but donating. making political art. THATS something. thats REAL.#i would go to big protests if i lived somewhere with them#like i understand. wanting voting to be enough. im a heavily depressed bitch who feels like they cant engage with anything big or important#i know tumblr is full of those types. yall dont want to do anything. yall dont want to be uncomfortable or upset or anything negative.#personal comfort above all else. thats what tumblr is. thats what centrist liberals are. there’s no real desire to break out-#of the comfort zone or status quo respectively. yall are scared to get Involved. and i am too. but with how current events are going…#i can see that i don’t want to be that anymore. i know i need to be more than that. its hard and risky but i Need to.#and so do yall. yall NEED to engage with activism outside of voting. or you’re doing nothing.#txt
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if you could bring back one styling that you think wasn't appreciated in its time or the fans weren't ready for (but are now) or just think should be around again, which would it be? (hard round: something other than TVXQ's "Triangle" styling) (and I already know the #1 is Pink Gumby)
(kicks rock) ok FINE i won't immediately say triangle.........
my first instinct is actually something that DID get its due appreciation: arario!! it was genuinely ahead of its time (both in styling and musical composition), and if vixx hadn't done shangri-la we might never have seen a traditional/hanbok styling trend in kpop. but realistically this is kind of a tough question to answer because most trends in kpop styling have been recycled already in some way. i could say something like we should bring back the goofy looks for the early '10s but realistically that's already happened as much as it's going to without completely reverting silhouettes and clothing construction, which is not going to happen. and also i don't think most of those looks were underappreciated at the time. the most frequent type of look that is oft derided by fans and underutilized by creative staff are the infrequent forays into science fiction concepts. songs like 100%'s beat and more famously vixx's error were quite controversial for no legitimate reason, although honestly i don't remember how beat was received since vixx overshadowed them significantly (justice for 100% actually. the beat styling is better), but considering nobody remembers 100% even existed i'll consider it underappreciated. tbh in the current styling landscape of kpop my beef is less with fans not appreciating a styling (bc fans know exactly jack shit about costuming and will accept anything, even obvious garbage) and more with stylists who are unwilling to actually flesh out a concept. this applies to pretty much everything but i see it most obviously in scifi (and fantasy/horror etc, anything that's not boy/girl next door or school) concepts. one of the few cbs that i do desperately want to have a go around again is obsession bc please god can i finally have ksoo and minseok on the song, but also it's a fantastic concept that got most of the way there, it just could have been so much more interesting out if the stylists weren't cowards.
#the x exo shit goes fucking crazy like how could people sleep on that. it's lived in my brain rent free since 2019#also i think the timing for obsession was p bad. i think next year when kai and sehun get back they should just do the whole thing again#rerecord the whole album the mv new promo cycle everything. i want ksoo on ya ya ya and i will fight about it#i also want more prop stages. and also costumes that use interesting technical elements#like would love a revival of catch me + lighted costumes#even though they are so so so so unreliable. but you gotta sacrifice for art#i cant remember if its janus or witch that used the panels but more shit like that#its less i want to bring back specific stylings and more i want to bring back an era where stylists were more willing to be experimental#oh actually you know what people also hated for no reason: shinee symptoms/close the door. but that styling has also made a come around too#kpop styling#text#answers#kpop questions#i won anyways i got a real triangle hair revival this year 😌
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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🦋
#LMAO I FUCKING CANT.#so missionaries came to my doorstep-- which is literally just hilarious. even more hilarious? one of them was from hawaii.#they ask about my religion&i tell them bc i dont see any point not to&the yt man speaking to me tells me#he was a surfer back in the day so--&this is a literal quote-- 'i went to hawaii&heard it all as a haole on the beach'#remember this is literally entirely unprompted from a missionary who knocked on my door in response to my answering a question#about my religion. so why did this come up? probably the same reason that he then went to on to ask me what would happen if HE wanted#to join my religion&when i answer 'you would probably have to handle that yourself as religion is entirely personal'#he literally stands there w no answer before going 'well our church accepts EVERYONE no matter what theyve done'#&--again this is a direct quote-- 'we have ppl who have done blood sacrifices to their ancestors who have found the REAL god' LMAO.#he then started talking about how the neighboring apartment complex has a primarily east european community?#like with actual statistics bc appartently he just knows that the next apartment complex over is 80% yt immigrants?#not entirely sure how they had anything at all to do w anything so thats around when i stopped laughing openly at him#&told him my neighbors were coming up the stairs&i found taking up the entire staircase to be incredibly rude#so they needed to get the fuck out lmao&the missionary from hawaii-- who had said almost nothing the whole time lmao--#wouldnt look me in the eye while telling me thank you for my time probably bc he now had to continue doing missionary work#w a man who spent a solid five minutes trying to prove im racist&exclusionay as a default#literally ONLY bc im hawaiian v traditional about it&proud as FUCK about all those facts#whiiiiich only made him look&sound. fucking TERRIBE lmao.#anyway its good to know that several hundreds of years later&a move away from my colonized home where yt missionaries destroyed my culture#i STILL cant fucking get away from yt missionaries&their ABHORRENT behaviour lmao.#i need to start checking who the fuck is at my door before opening it.#or at the v least start letting roxy just fucking tear ppl like this to shreds like she wants bc their vibes are so rank#my dog can't stand at my side w/o her ridge going so far up she doesnt NEED to growl to get the point across lmao.
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The Question #5 (1987)
#book club#the question#vic sage#aww is someone never going to be able to escape the guilt of the human condition? ❤️#has someone decided to bear the weight of all the mistakes of everyone around them? ❤️#is there someone here that hasn't quite realized that they cant change everything no matter how much they try? ❤️#screams.#dc comics#comics#ok so this. its like TDOVS. except TDOVS didnt get the fact that vic is a little self sacrificing freak!#beyond just death.#what TDOVS got wrong is that they assumed Vic would want to be some kind of leader or something#no. he wants to change everything. by himself. with no help. he NEEDS to do it. but he's painfully human.#and he knows that but he feels like he shouldnt be. no amount of punishment and self sacrifice will make him strong enough to fix everything#the question is commentary on the fact that its so easy to get caught up on change at the individual level that we forget about the system#and ultimately get stuck in cycles of making ourselves suffer because we think we can change it with enough of our blood and sweat and tears#but we forget that we can work together and form communities that work with more than that. and are stronger than even the superman of us.#but Vic gets stuck in that zone. and we've all been there. its universal.#i think thats what makes him such an important hero to me. like. think about the current cycle of learning about current events.#obviously to a lesser extent than what hes doing but isnt doomscrolling and succumbing to depression sort of like this?#i think about that post thats like. 'people who have sparked real change pick one thing and care about it a lot'#but i think we. like vic. cant just pick one thing. theres so much all around us.#like in this story with the multiple characters and their horrible lives. theyre all suffering independently.#and their stories effect each other (like all peoples do) but one person can't change every single one of these stories#no matter how long they stay up#no matter how hard they push themselves#no matter how mucht they punish themselves.#Vic sage is a timeless and human hero.#anyway sorry for rambling i probably could have made this it's own post#but this is how i roll. reaching the tag limit. didn't know there was one....
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and so it happens once more
#i love my work. dont get me wrong#but they have the same problem as any other nonprofit ever. and even some for profits actually#they cant turn away ppl that pay them big money to keep running their business#it happened at the last shelter it happens here#board members and big donors are god i get it#but we cant sacrifice what this place means for that <- would be what they say in movies#because you can. you do.#all the time!#you have your morals and mission statements but in the end you cant do any of it without donations#and good public reputation#and when you make an enemy of someone who is a donor or board member or prolific person in the community#you lose everything#you lose your reputation your funding your ability to do what it is youre doing#im just so pissed#i knew it wouldnt be different but i wanted it to be#this time its a board member / donor / landlord for our fucking outreach program#they took in a stray kitten (which is fine-ish not great but its okay since theyre practically an employee)#they scheduled an appt for preventatives and intake which is what we always do to make sure theyre not dying#then they never showed up for it#then they complained about diarrhea but still didnt make any effort to make it here#then the week. the 7 day long period that we are moving. they finally can bring the kitten in#she is in the worst shape ive seen in a while#raw butt from diarrhea. URI and third eyelids swollen. cant hardly walk bc her ass hurts too bad. leaking shit. covered in fleas#she is in more pain than cats we've gotten that were hit by cars#and she was with a FOSTER. a BOARD MEMBER FOSTER.#im so pissed off#all of us are and we dont know what to say#she looks like she was found stuck in a sewer full of her own shit for a week she looks like death#im torn between euth with her because i dont know if the recovery she'll need will be worth the pain#shelter posting
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Tiphereth suppression finally complete babeyyyy
#rat rambles#lisa my beloved <3#her brother also exists ig.#I did it first try too which honestly is a relief it took forever idk how many times I could handle doing all that#which also means that the other two are now ready for their core suppressions which is both exiting and scary#exciting because it means that I can tell alruine to fuck off#scary because red mist boss fight 😔#I have no idea what to expect but tbh I rly cant be any more prepared than I already am#I have all the aleph gear not counting apocalypse bird and white night gear#and I have all the waw gear except for the one waw I havent gotten yet#in fact there's only 4 abnos I havent gotten yet I think and two of those are toold#I might stall a bit by memory repositing until I get those out of the way but I also might not idk#what I am starting to have to think abt tho is the two side bosses I previously mentioned#I do think apocalypse bird might be doable for me rn but white knight is a more tricky story#mostly because quite frankly I dont have 12 employees available to sacrifice to start the fight#I can obviously just make some new throaway guys but still#now setting up apocalypse bird would also be annoying since I currently only have judgement bird in my facility#rly Im just not sure which of my guys can or cant handle either boss#cause I do need the manpower but I also just am not confident that most of the gear my guys have will do them much good#now one thing that may be kind of pointless but I still wanna do is get silent orchestras ego gift on one of my guys#because god damn is that a powerful buff even if white damage isnt that common outside of anbno breaches#it would be fun in the sense that thatd make my girl able to solo any abnos that deal white damage#again its good dont get me wrong its just definitely smth that isnt as widly applicable as youd think#but yeah ideally I dont wanna do another day one reset and I rly do think this could be the run#the only reason I reset my first one rly was because I had gotten bored grinding for gear and also just wanted to finish my abno info#collection easier since there was a shit load of low level abnos I was missing#now the only ''''low level'''' abno Im missing is plague doctor for well. obvious reasons.#so yeah I should be pretty good and done with my info gathering within a session or two#tbh I dont even know what the wellfare meltdown looks like but Im much less scared of it than the boss fights I have up ahead#stinky b is also going to be tricky but Im hoping it wont be too bad
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no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin)
in which spencer reid is gentle with overwhelmed fem!reader after sex
18+ (fluff, implied intimacy) warnings/tags: it's just aftercare, but like psychological aftercare, implied intimacy duh, vague descriptions of sex but nothing explicit, hurt/comfort without the hurt, allusions to postcoital dysphoria, reader cries but its not really sad, spencer reid is so kind i wish men were real, i think that is all a/n: guess who wrote an entirely different thing instead of touching her wips..... AGAIN...... this bitch cant do anything omggg!! but this was based on a request so go me also what a strange time to be posting but it's only 1k words and nobody can stop me
“Hey. Are you with me, angel?”
You blink your eyes open in the dark room—reorienting yourself to the tangle of your bodies. How many minutes has it been?
“Hm?”
He chuckles—a quick huff from his nose as he brings a hand up to push hair from your face.
“I asked you if you’re with me.”
It takes you a moment to answer. You’re still trying to make sense of where you are in space, each sensation coming back to you one by one—the weight and pressure of him against you, the slip of cotton sheets and a cool breeze from the cracked window over your heated sticky skin.
“Oh.”
It’s not much of an answer and your voice is small. For a moment he lets it sit, cupping your warm cheek. Your eyes flutter shut again. His voice comes gentler, dipped in concern.
“You okay?”
This time you don’t try to speak. Your tongue is like a lead weight in your mouth and your brain is running on dial-up. The best you can do is to cling to him, hiding your face in the curve of his neck and hoping he’ll understand that your firm hold on him is a request for him to tighten his own arms around you, until you’re sure you won’t float away. He reciprocates and it makes you feel more secure immediately.
“Can you answer me?” He murmurs, all sweet solicitation, lips brushing the top of your head in this new airtight position. And then, a moment later— “Baby. I wanna hear your voice.”
“Mhm,” you manage.
Spencer rewards you by rubbing your back in slow circles. His hand feels nice on your bare skin. The way you love him is too big for words. It could make you cry.
“Wasn’t too much? You’re not hurting anywhere?”
You shake your head and try to ignore the ache in your bones when you can’t seem to get him close enough.
“Mm-mm.”
It’s not entirely true—your legs are sore, but it’s nothing that needs tending to, and your lower back is a bit crampy, but he’s already working on that.
He hums. “You’re pretty out of it, sweet girl. What’s going on with you?”
Spencer is always careful with you. He’d never hurt you, or sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure. That said, he’s just as passionate as you are. The stretch of your arms above your head is still fresh in your mind—the ghost of his grip, pressing your wrists into the mattress, or pushing your leg up, or pulling you exactly where he wanted you by the hips. It’s all wonderful, and you never feel safer than you do when you’re with him, but it doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable, any less raw, after all is said and done. Maybe it’s precisely because you trust him so much that you’re so sensitive afterward. But he never, ever makes you feel bad for having an intense reaction to an intense experience. He always meets you where you’re at. That in itself makes you emotional. Spencer is different than any of the partners you’d had before.
Again, he’s patient as you try to process his question and work up a response. Maybe a minute later, you’re breathing out something that feels true.
“Overwhelmed.”
The word is a tap against glass you didn’t know was there until it’s fracturing like a spiderweb. With no warning, and for no good reason, you find yourself choked up.
“Oh,” he says, sympathetic and drawn out as understanding sets in. “Do you need me to back off for a minute?”
You squeeze him even fiercer and shake your head, unable to stop the tears from drawing their shiny paths down your cheeks and sinking into the weave of the pillow case.
“Shh. You’re okay,” he murmurs, quiet and slow and almost sing-songy as he smooths your hair, though you know he doesn’t really expect you to stop crying. “You’re okay, pretty. Remember what I said about all the hormonal shifts in your body after you come?”
Once more you nod against him with a small, shuddering sniffle.
“And how sometimes your body regulates by crying? Kind of like a… a reset button?”
“Mhm.”
“Mhm.” He shifts from rubbing your back to tracing light lines in shapeless patterns with the blunt edges of his nails, and your breath catches before you’re melting in his hold. “It’s okay to have big or confusing feelings after sex. It’s actually really common. I just want you to be honest with me about those feelings, right? So we can keep you safe?”
“Right.”
“Would you tell me if you were hurting, or if something I did or said was bothering you?”
“Yes.”
If you were looking at him you know he’d be smiling ever so slightly at your monosyllabic responses, charting an upward path with his hand and pushing it through your hair at the nape of your neck. “You can just nod, baby. You don’t have to talk. I know you’re tired.”
You make a small noise of gratitude and nuzzle closer, feeling better as the tears slow, quickly as they’d come.
“Do you want a bath in a little while?”
Another nod. He scratches at your scalp. “Okay. We’ll do a bath, and then dinner, and then I’m finally going to make you watch that documentary about Helvetica. It’s a little outdated, and there are a few basic errors about the origin and development of the font as well as misinformation about the typeface subgroup in general, but I can amend those as we watch and afterward we can read the director’s tenth anniversary statement. I was waiting to read it until we watched it together.”
Spencer knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll fall asleep ten minutes in, curled up on the couch under a blanket in your biggest hoodie with your head on his lap and his hand in your hair, just like this.
He’s actually really looking forward to it.
#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds imagine
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pep reads: gojo satoru – long fics (pt.1)
Part 2
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚
☆ the way you love me by @peachsayshi [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing ◦ 29/? chapters] [smut!] [fwb!gojo] #pep's first fic she was OBSESSED with #real good good smut WITH FEELINGS
“We can stop anytime. If either one of us feels like... this ...might be too much. We stop, no questions .” “We can stop anytime,” Gojo repeated “... and nothing changes between us .” You swallowed hard at his last statement. You may not be able to read his eyes but you could hear it in his voice that he needed reassurance. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends...” you replied softly, “now kiss me before I change my mind.”
☆ you and me by tomodachi [AO3: ] [status: completed ◦ 5/5 chapters] [tear jerker] [eventual smut!] #pep cried #gojo just kinda loves you real hard
“Prisoners say the most comical things when their judgment comes,” you tilt your head, lifting a finger before him, “Who are you?"
--- History is written by the winners, Satoru knew this well. It was only when he lost and got sealed inside the Prison Realm he learned how to be weak and find out a long buried truth.
☆ ito by @peekamatcha [AO3] [status: ongoing ◦ 48/? chapters] [super slow burn] [shinto elements] #pep DIES with every update #the TWIST in that one chapter omg
You, a former sorcerer now working as a university lecturer, were hoping to maintain your distance with the sorcerer world for an eternity to come. However, with the reappearance of an upperclassmen from a decade ago, you are forced to go on a journey which you would rather sit out of. But somebody must save humanity from the impending apocalypse and apparently the job falls on the shoulders of you two.
It would have been alright had he not been everything you didn’t want to be reminded of. And the sacrifices to be made may be more than what had been bargained for. ☆moonlight by @septembersummer [AO3/tumblr:] [status: completed ◦ 10/10 chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #pep SCREAMED
Gojo Satoru is dying. And no, it's not his fault this time.
The curse which is withering Satoru into an early grave is actually the product of his great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, who had a couple of sons that refused to procreate. And what does a proud, powerful man do when his sons refuse to fuck, and there won't be another heir to the clan?
He curses his own bloodline, of course.
It's only natural that he forces them through some twisted form of sorcery to become uncontrollably, violently attracted to the person they're most genetically compatible with.
It's even better that the curse creates a permanent, unbreakable bond between the two unwilling lovers. That's right, it usually takes more than one fuck to make a baby-- so, why not force them to have twelve?
Satoru wished his ancestor would be resurrected from the grave, just so that he could kill him again. That is, before Satoru inevitably dies.
He's had a good run, he thinks. Now, all he has to do is make sure you don't find out that you can fuck him back to life and try to very stupidly save him from himself.
(here's a spoiler: you do).
☆ a typical family by @literalia [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed? ◦ 32/32 chapters] [non liner narrative] [dad!gojo] #pep absolutely MELTED #slice of life #pep's gojo comfort fic
"satoru. where did you get these kids?"
or
after a six month absence, satoru shows up at your door two little kids following behind. chaos ensues.
☆ and if i cant see by hollowdonut [AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 26/? chapters] [slowburn] [eventual smut!] [tw: ptsd] #pep loves the reader's dynamics with gojo!
They say eyes are the window to the soul, but Gojo’s eyes are almost always hidden behind a blindfold. Even when they aren’t, you can never tell what he’s thinking.
You wonder if you should’ve taken that teaching job in Kyoto instead.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚
bonus!
☆ all hail the empress! by @chuluoyi [tumblr/AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 1/? chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #but THE END THO? OMGGG you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...
#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru jjk#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk drabbles#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk#june drabbles#x reader#satoru gojou x reader#gojo satoru smut#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#ao3#fic reccomendations#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo smut#jjk recommendation#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x reader#pep recommended 💖#pep reads 📚#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo x reader
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I yap about Forever + Falling with you
Forever being the end song to murder drones- and its lyrics being what they are
gives me the impression Murder Drones was a big love story about opening up and trust hidden under mounds of comedy and violence
And I dont mean that it ACTUALLY is, its more just.. a silly little feeling I get when i listen to it
Theres something about the song thats so... cozy? So like, softly spoken. A very hummable melody from one lover to another.
also falling with you, like what the fuck
never in my life have I felt a track was so carefully crafted- and prepared, carved out for two specific characters in one specific moment.
She made the choice to sacrifice herself- for him. In her eyes it was the end and if at the end of everything she could guarantee the life of one person it was going to be the one she loves, she didnt know what would be at the other end,
The thing is, he wanted to be there for her. Even when they're knocking on deaths door, he needs to be there.
Its like trust fall exercise, except the focus isnt on 'catch me' cause they'd never let the other fall,
its about making sure they dont fall when youre not looking. It hurts both parties, to crash without warning and to see the one you love fall
I *love* that they dont speak here. She looks to the side, shifting her glances before looking at him.
An unspoken guilt ridden apology.
The response he chooses?
forgiveness,
Even if the result of her actions hurt him- her intentions were good and meant to be entirely in favor of him
And in this moment, with their current history and with a yet to be seen future, he forgives her,
Cause at the very least, they're together again. He could save her.
And her look just, screams thank you to me.
Thank you for forgiving me, saving me-
for everything :) /ref
lighthearted preparation for whats to come :)
legitimately, what she says, reiterating herself "die mad bitch"
knowing theyre heading into the end of the world to prevent it?? Theyre going off to the fucking trenches together, key word this time being together
And then the horrible unexpected !
Uzi is ripped away from N, confronted with what her home has become, the universe is practically screaming at her to fix it, pushing her towards the end without mercy
But shes not doing it alone, she cant do it alone, not again, not this time
And he wouldnt let her
The universe could endlessly attempt to wield its cosmic grasp to push these two apart but itd never work, itd never end with them alone
Their love- their pure devotion to each other,
is so celestial in its own right
Not super related to my ramble but i love that in them becoming official (I will not call this a confession, N definitely confessed the previous episode)
Uzis so.. wagh.. her eyes.
That trademark look of panic or worry- I mean what would you expect from the black sheep of the colony? Being excluded on the daily, left to your own abandoned devices?? The reassurance she was requesting just, ughh.. my heart...
and the way. He fucking looks at her
Its so, soft. He knows she has not a thing to worry about. His heart is completely and utterly hers. Where most would die for their love, he lives for her.
The universe would be dammed to ever try and separate pure unbridled love like this ever again
ERM< ANYWAY that was super gay ew idk why im like. obsessed with their relatinshuio ahhajfhdgjbsjhfm someone blow me up
#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#nuzi#a really long yapsesh about nuzi#god save me#chat#i thinki have a new favorite scene#oopsieee
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