#like youre aware people just agree that you basically own that guy right? surely you have to be.

[beatcroc]

fuck that guy

[houdinicarpenter]

NSFW Alphabet | Sam Carpenter x Reader

a/n: i've seen so many people do this. @michiganstray did it for tara, so i promised i'd do it for sam 🫡 (you really need to share yours, nylah... please. don't make me look bad in front of my friends 😬)

──────── GIF is not mine

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Sam’s very attentive to your well-being. She’ll always ask if you’re okay and double-check it with a “are you sure?” if/when you say yes. If you ask for something, she’ll get it for you. Otherwise, she stays caught up in the intimacy, wanting to stay close to you. She likes to cuddle, her vulnerability already cut loose long enough to keep her guard down, so cut-and-runs (or quickies) are rare. p.s. depending on how messy things get, she may prefer to take a shower after sex.

b = body part (favorite body part of theirs and of their partner’s)

Sam’s favorite body part(s) of her own are her arms, because she likes the way it feels when you run your hands up and down them, especially her upper arms. Their toned definition gives you direct contact to her muscles, which relaxes her when they’re caressed. On you, Sam’s favorite body part(s) are your eyes. The first thing she notices about someone is their eyes. They say the eyes are windows into the soul, and she takes that to heart. She loved to get lost in your eyes, as if she were meeting you for the first time and falling in love all over again.

c = cum (anything to do with cum basically)

Sam has a full understanding of what cum is and why it happens. Because of this, she doesn’t believe in the “ask for permission” trope that’s often interlaced in sex. If it happens, it happens. It can always be cleaned up.

d = dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Sam used to agree to have sex with random guys she met on the street, at bars, etc. just to distract herself from reality. These times hit its peak after she left her home at 18 and when she, Tara, and the Meeks-Martin twins first moved to New York. It was a coping mechanism, but she isn’t proud of it and actually has visible damage down there because of the severity some of those reckless sessions were.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Sam is very experienced and knows exactly what she’s doing. She has experienced sex in many different ways, both enjoyable and not enjoyable. However, this isn’t to say that she doesn’t get lost in the moment when she’s with you, someone who she truly loves and trusts. If this is the case, she runs on autopilot, not fully aware of what she does, how she moves, and how it's perceived.

f = favorite position

The standard position of top & bottom (or dominant & submissive) is what she’s most familiar with and most comfortable with; however, given the right place and time, she may take to other positions.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

For the most part, Sam is a serious, in-the-moment kind of person during sex. She doesn’t see sex as a daily routine thing or a mindless act of desire. It’s a mutual act of trust and romanticism. She became this way after she broke her toxic cycle of doing it as a distraction, and shortly after, she met Danny. And Danny showed her how it should be done and why. But she does have her playful moments, especially before things intensify, when she’s much more outgoing and likely to say and do some careless shit.

h = hair (how groomed are they?)

Mostly, if not fully, clean-shaven all the time.

i = intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

Very. Like stated previously, Sam takes intimacy to heart. She gets lost in you, like she’ll never love you again.

j = jack off (masturbation)

Sam never masturbates, she never has. The idea of it has crossed her mind, but it never felt right to actually try it, even if it was just to experiment. However, it’s easy to tell if/when she’s struggling with her sex drive. She becomes restless and—if you look closely—you can see how she gets shaky.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sam has no known kinks.

l = location (favorite places to do it)

Sam isn’t big on publicizing her intimate relationship with you. Because of this, she prefers making out in a private, non-open-to-the-public area. Places like your apartment/house, the bedroom, on the sofa (when it’s just you two alone in the apartment/house) are all preferable to her. Public bathrooms, showers (even though it’s private), and in the car, don’t make her feel secure and private enough to let her guard down.

m = motivation (what turns them on?)

Kissing her neck and/or collar bone is a good instigator, but touch really stirs her sex drive. Squeezing her hips and/or thighs drives her crazy, and so much as grazing her pelvis—specifically the sensitive skin in between her hips—makes her go feral, though she’ll do her best to fight it.

n = no (something they won’t do; a turn off)

Anything with bondage, blindfolding, or of the captive/captee dynamics. Knife Play also makes her uncomfortable, given she’s still on edge with being so in-sync with her father aside from her survival instincts and bloodlust.

o = oral (preference in giving, receiving, skill, etc.)

Sam’s not a fan of oral sex. If you have a desire to do it, she’ll give it a shot for you, likely being the one to receive it rather than give it, but it might take some convincing.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual is more of Sam’s taste, considering she’s had many fast and rough sessions in her rebellious—dare I say, feral—years (pre-movie Scream V). Like said previously, she doesn’t see sex as a careless activity to do whenever. When she was with Richie, they did fast and rough often, so it reminds her a lot of him. Now it was rumored via Sam that it was difficult for him to get aroused—or “hard”—however, when he was stimulated enough, he wrecked Sam. She hates remembering those nights and how much of herself she gave him, so much so that she’s scared of even trying it hard and rough again. 

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies; how often, etc.)

Again, Sam doesn’t like quickies, even though she used to participate in them. Knowing what she knows now, they seem immature, like doing them are abusing the purpose of what sex is supposed to be.  (I know this is controversial, so if you have a problem with this, just skip over it please 🙏. This is my interpretation on Sam’s character.)

r = risk (are they down to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Sam is definitely a risk-taker, but she never tries anything new without your permission first. Consent and respect is something Sam values the most in the sexual experience of a relationship. She is open to experimenting, so long as you both are on the same page.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go? how long can they last?)

As one would expect, Sam’s got a high level of stamina. She’s willing to go as many rounds as you want, regardless of how tired she is. But you’re always able to tell when she’s wearing out because of how sloppy she’ll get. She won’t even realize it, but you do and if/when it gets that far, that’s when you’ll usually call it a night.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? If so, on their partners or themselves?)

Sam only owns one toy that she had been given from a bad influence a long time ago. She’s never used it on anyone, but she’s had other “partners” (that weren’t officially/legitimately hers) use it on her. She hasn’t “used” it since she met Richie, but she still keeps it as a reminder to what she never wants to go back to.

u = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

As much as Sam appreciates the intimacy and traditional make-up of sex, she is up to date with how it has spiced up, and having said that, she can be a fox at times. She’s not afraid to tease you into getting aroused or wanting her to speed up the process, especially when leading/holding the upper hand (dominant position). She knows when enough’s enough though and will respect your boundaries however you make them.

v = volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make? etc.)

Sam’s somewhere in between quiet and loud. She’ll start off quiet and will try to fight herself when it’s getting overwhelming and she wants to get louder, but she never gets so loud, to the point where she needs to be warned to keep it down.  Sam’s a big moaner—it is what it is. But she also sighs a lot and has a tendency to growl, especially when the ecstasy kicks in and she’s trying to bite back a loud, desperate moan when you hit a sweet spot, inside or out.

w = wild card (a random headcanon of them)

Forehead touching makes Sam soft, she loves it.

x = x-ray (what’s going on under their clothes?)

Sam’s pretty toned, as anyone could see by looking at her arms in a tank top. She’s not sharply cut so that every angle has her abs popping or thighs as tough as diamonds, but there’s no questioning her defined toning when you run your hands over her clothed or unclothed figure.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1-100%, Sam’s sex drive is about 70%. For someone as private and hard-of-trusting as she is, she’s up for getting down. This isn’t to mistake her for being careless as to who she does it with or how quick her drive is to kick in. That 30% is on strict default, until you come into the picture. 

z = zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

Sam needs to calm down from the thrill before she’s able to fall asleep. What calms her the most after sex is holding you or you holding her and listening to your breathing or heartbeat. Knowing the moment of trust, security, and love hidden between the two of you is important and reassuring to her. Give or take, she’ll be asleep in 20-30 minutes after a session.

all my best!

- parker (HOUDINICARPENTER / BWS) 🖤

[acupofinkedblood]

Boombox x reader

TW: NSFW headcanons

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

• As expected from the chill guy of Playground, the dominance and submissive dynamic can’t really apply on him as he is neither of them. Although sometimes he does like you bossed him around and take the charge, he just swings somewhere in his own direction. Boombox is a switch, but then again he has a reference to bottom the majority of time, as he used to receive more than to give. You definitely see that coming though, his vibe is just like that

• To be frank with you, the majority of Playgrounders are pretty much open-minded when it comes to sex, and Boombox isn’t any different from them in that aspect. You are welcome to test things out with him to see which new way can you guys go. Of course, he doesn’t mind being introduced to new things at all. You already know him well, he is pretty much open to try out anything that crossed your mind. Gotta say, you will be surprised on how easy-going he is in sex

• I feel like it’s collectively agreed upon the fact that Boombox has a specific playlist for sex. Though his sex drive is surprisingly lower than most people assume him to be, considering the fact that Playgrounders have quite the reputation in regards of their sexual desire, basically that’s where most fuckers — no jokes intended — stay after all. I’d like to compare him to a bear, especially in his chonky physique as it is mentioned before. It’s big, but don’t worry, you can handle it just fine with a bit more effort. And fun fact: The visor stays on. He has to see somehow as well after all, of it’s just a quirk of his

• Slight drugs or alcohol involved to get the two of you into the mood. A bit of weed, some line of powder, few cups of beverages— it can get him in the right mood. Like c’mon, that’s just what majority of artists do when they need inspiration. And it serves as his way to set up the mood. He will be rather quieter like that, but only for a while before he started to whine and grunt when you go down on him. Sure, he won’t be able to make fully coherent statements, but that doesn’t mean it will stop his noises. Hell, it even gets him to be louder. Usually he prefers you to be on top and ride him as much as you want, and it just gets more highlighted in this specific situation

• Have you ever get drunken on the atmosphere of a party even though you just barely entered it? And especially when you haven’t drank a sip of alcohol throughout the whole time too. That drowsy state can actually make people feel more needy as well as clingy. It’s more common in introvert, but that doesn’t mean extrovert is immune to this atmosphere drunk mood. They just have better social endurance. Boombox isn’t an exception when it comes to that. This can be an alternative instead of the drug that is mentioned earlier, that is if the two of you are aware of your surroundings enough to be proud of that idea. Slight exhibitionist, definitely not against the idea of a quickie as he drags you out somewhere else in the middle of the party: Be it an alleyway that is served as another exit from the party or behind the scenes of his DJ set. The thrill of it makes him come quicker, keeps that in mind

• You’re the one that handle the pace here. He doesn’t mind it really, though you’re welcome to be a tad rougher with him than usual if that is what you want to do. When he’s topping, he prefers to keep it quick and right straight to the point. Though when it’s those day when he is a bottom, he can be pretty lazy and leave it all to you

• He’s a bit clumsy when it comes to giving. His tongue is quite thick, and aside from kissing, he doesn’t have that much experience when giving head. He expects you to guide him through it, telling him what should he do and definitely into it when you pull his horns to aid his work. If he’s the one being received, make sure that he has something to bite on because he can be loud as hell. He is quite big himself, so if you can handle it, you’re in for a treat because your mouth drive him crazy to the point that you can see the heart appearing on his visor

• Oh please, do you think he can keep up the teasing game? He admits his defeat there. And just a side note for you, he can be flustered pretty easily when it comes to you. And it’s more than just obvious at how he will turn into a blushing mess when you’re teasing him like there is no tomorrow. Tease him as much as you want, use your words or your actions, he absolutely melts when you do that

• He has enough stamina for a few rounds before get completed fucked out, alright? But those rounds aren’t technically short or anything. Boombox actually has more physical endurance than people give him credit for. And you can get him to hit his climax over again quickly the entire session, and all you see is him panting like a dog in heat while that heart symbol keeps appearing on his visor. It worths everything to see that sight, trust me

• If he’s bottoming, then he will be light out almost immediately by the time you’re done with him. On other cases he will be rather spent, but still have enough strength to pull you close against his chest and cuddle you. He can still murmur sweet nothings into your ear while rubbing you wherever you are feeling sore at. The two of you will just lie there lazily to catch your breath, and a cuddle session afterwards is actually pretty soothing though

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Note: Shoutout to a friend of mine who gave me a few ideas to work on this, and merry Christmas my dear customer! I hope my tea can keep you warm in whatever way you prefer (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

Note 2: Bloody Q ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)ᯓ★

[i-heart-hxh]

In all honesty why do you think Killua made the number two comment to Gon? I feel like he doesn’t realize how messed up that is to say to someone who has gone through extensive trauma trying to prove himself to a father who also put him in “second place” to something he deemed more important. It was hurtful and I don’t see how that can be repaired now. Even if they do reunite Gon is going to just step on eggshells and fear that even one slip up will cause Killua to just leave him again. Idk I just feel like separation wasn’t the solution here. They needed to talk and then stay together. But “taking a break” rarely works out for any relationship. It also sucks that Gon constantly told Killua how important he was to him but Killua NEVER returned this sentiment verbally so Gon’s just stuck thinking he’s a piece of shit who destroyed his most important relationship. Killua really did just say “screw Gon I have Alluka now”.

Hello!

I don't agree with this interpretation at all; to me, there are a number of complex reasons why Killua made that comment, and I don't think it will destroy their relationship by any means.

This post--In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'--is the best starting point for anyone trying to understand the separation, in my opinion. It's cohesive, uses supporting evidence from the series and demonstrates the careful wording used in the separation, and it makes more sense than any other interpretation I've read of why Killua would make such a comment to Gon. I keep referring back to this post because I truly think it holds keys to understanding the separation that other posts I've seen don't.

In addition to the insight provided in that post--where Killua is trying to put some distance between him and Gon for Gon's safety and well-being, essentially--I also think it's:

a) Partly how Killua is trying to steel himself to leave Gon, by telling himself, Gon, and Alluka that Alluka is his priority for now

b) Part of Killua's campaign of teasing Gon lightheartedly on the topic, to bring it up while at the same time downplaying the emotional effects of what happened between them--because when they're separating is not the right time for them to seriously address it or work through it

I do think the second place comment hurt Gon a little, but...Gon is already aware that he hurt Killua, and after his life was literally saved by Alluka (Nanika), being put in "second place" is not the worst outcome ever, honestly. Plus, it confirms he's still one of the most important people to Killua even after everything that happened between them! Killua is not saying Gon is trash to him now, even though it is a bit of a jab.

I've also said before that I think Togashi had Killua make this comment with awareness that we, as the audience, would be like, "Uh-huh Killua, sure, interesting of you to say this so shortly after you centered your entire life on him for basically the whole series and even seriously considered doing a lovers suicide with this guy..." We're most likely supposed to see it as Killua not being fully honest, even though Alluka does obviously mean a lot to Killua and by necessity she has to be his priority now. Plus, even Alluka herself says she'll give Killua back to Gon after a while. She must have some idea of how much Gon means to Killua, to be so willing to "give him back." I've said this before, but I see this line from Alluka about giving Killua back to Gon as a promise from Togashi to the audience that this isn't forever.

Gon isn't clueless; he knows Killua cares about him even though Killua struggles to express it verbally. The degree of trust and unspoken understanding between them in the dodgeball match is a good (albeit complicated) example of this. The two didn't communicate to the degree they needed to during Chimera Ant Arc, which makes sense because they're young and have their own issues and it was terribly traumatic for both for them, but they also have a good understanding of each other overall, and it's not giving Gon enough credit to assume he has no idea just because Killua hasn't said it. He doesn't know the full extent of Killua's feelings for him, certainly (I hope he will someday!), but he is aware Killua cares about him. Even when it comes to the separation, Killua expressing his pain shows that he still cares about Gon! He's saying that what happened still hurts, because he still cares! He's making light of it, but it's honestly a step in the right direction for him to be discussing it at all. If they can't be honest with each other about how what happened impacted them, they can't heal.

Of course it would be better for their relationship if they talked it out fully and came to some sort of resolution, but neither of them were in a place where they could do that quite yet. Killua is too closed up emotionally and hurting from seeing Gon essentially die in front of him, and Gon needs to recover from essentially throwing his life away and saying those things to Killua that we know he regrets. They do need some time apart to reflect and grow.

Are the two boys in a complicated emotional situation currently? Yes. Do I think this dooms them to never reconnect or heal their relationship? Absolutely not. I see their separation as more of a "We gotta go our separate ways for now because we both have things we have to deal with," (both externally and internally) than anything final. They agree to stay in touch, they express sadness at having to part, they make it clear several times that this is a temporary parting. Why make them clearly unsatisfied with having to part if they're not going to have an opportunity to make things right later?

[txttletale]

What would then be the best action for the ukrainian people to undertake as response to putin's invasion? You rightly critize proposals that are disconnected from the material reality but you also seem to be rhetorically denying material reality somewhat. You seem to be saying that you don't believe ukraine should just surrender.

"i don't believe (and neither do any of the other marxist-leninists calling for peace, only putinist campists and russian nationalists believe this) that unconditional surrender is in the best interests of the ukrainian people."

So that means they should fight back; of course not unto the destruction of Russia or even pursuing it offensively, I do agree on that, but they should fight back nonetheless. But here is the rub. Is it possible for Ukraine to do so without the weapons sent by the US and other Navo states?

This seems the crucial part to me to judge all proposals by. I know you are right that that the US' support likely comes with strings and that should be critized. However, it is a meaningless objection if the alternative is to be invaded by Putin. It is impossible for the US to intervene without pursuing its own interests and the perpatuation of its own hegemony. That seems to be the position you have taken and are defending. I agree with it and I wish it would be possible for the US to intervene without that. But that is not the world we live in. But what you have failed to argue is that therefore it would be condemnworthy to support the US sending weapons to Ukraine. Since the alternative is well...russia which is also pursuing its interests and perpetuation of its own hegemony succeeds in its objects. As you repeatedly pointed out this is an inter-imperalist war and this isn't one where a good option seem to exist, but some options can be better than others. So unless there is an alternative I am overlooking (I don't think a communist revolution in Ukraine is possible at this moment) you seem to be bascially leaning back and saying: "You know, people who are saying the US should send weapons to Ukraine to avoid a russian invasion, are you aware you are just bad as the US hawks?" Basically you are saying: "Hey, the US aren't the good guys here". And that is true, but that is different than saying: "It is in the best interests of the Ukrainian people for the US to *not* send weapons"

And I am not sure that is true. Unless you either hold the positon that it is possible for Ukraine to successfully defend itself on its own or that being invaded by Putin is still better than than the strings tied to the US' support.

as i say time and time again on this blog, the state whose actions you can most effectively and meaningfully oppose are your own's. i certainly think it is the duty of russian and belarusian communists to do everything in their power to dispel russian domestic propaganda, sabotage their government's war effort, & hasten the war in this way. obviously the militarist hardline factions within russia are just as much of an obstacle to a realistic peace deal as their NATO war hawk counterparts. but usamericans and europeans are in no place to have any impact on that end of the equation -- and any attempts to are simply coopted by the imperialism of their own governments. this is an inter-imperialist war -- directing your action and criticism towards the bourgeoisie of an enemy power rather than your own bourgeoisie is not only tactically less effective, but downright counterproductive

[swaglet]

mouthwashing. certified yapping is happening below the cut

u know what bothers me. there's a sizeable (i'm not sure how large or small but more than one of them exists) portion of the fandom that's like... "well anya IS a nurse so she shouldn't have made jimmy give curly the painkillers... she should have just done her job...." YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT SEEING THE ARTISTIC VISION!!!!!!! IT HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!!!!

1. she is NOT a medical professional. if jimmy was being truthful when he said anya was denied from medical school programs 8 times, and it wasn't just part of him being an unreliable narrator and showing how he looks down on her like something below a cognizant human being, she is not trained to do this. apparently she was given basic nursing classes provided by Pony Express, which i imagine is something similar to becoming CPR-trained in health class when you're a junior or senior in high school.

imagine you're just a random woman with a bachelor's degree in something like medical biology or premed or whatever your school teaches, you've never had hands-on training with actual patients and only have the bare minimum information that will give you what you need to start medical school, and then the captain of your ship has all of his skin burnt off and loses his appendages like hands and feet and he can't talk or do anything on his own and you're barely managing to keep him alive with just bandages and painkillers. i think if i saw the melted, charred body of my captain and friend helpless on a table in front of me everyday for months i would be kind of sick. i think i would puke when i looked at him for the first time. keeping him alive would probably make me want to kill myself, even if he did wrong me and ignore me when i tried to tell him about being raped, even if i wanted him to suffer i would still probably get nauseous looking at him.

2. SHE IS PREGNANT. nausea is like THE symptom of early pregnancy. pregnant women can be so nauseous that they throw up from brushing their teeth or chewing food or even just touching their tongue or smelling/seeing something mildly unpleasant. imagine you are about to throw up at any moment, you are either skeptical or definitively sure that you are pregnant (which is already stressful enough), and then you have to PRY OPEN THE JAW OF A BURN VICTIM WITH NO SKIN (IMAGINE HOW SQUISHY AND BLOODY HE FEELS AND HOW BAD HE MUST SMELL) AND FORCE A PILL DOWN HIS THROAT MULTIPLE TIMES PER DAY. and then he GAGS every time you do it. idk about you guys, but if i even hear somebody gagging or dry heaving, my body responds by making me gag and feel nauseous. if i watch somebody choke on food or puke (or gag to the point of almost puking) i probably am going to puke too. NOW IMAGINE BEING PREGNANT AND PREGNANT-NAUSEOUS ON TOP OF HAVING TO DO THAT !!!!!!!!!!!! anya has every right to get nauseous and puke all over the floor and all over curly and all over everyone else and all over the entire ship!!!!!! but they all agreed to keep curly alive "for one reason or another" and she's probably very aware that puking on or near her patient who is SKINLESS is a guaranteed way to give him an infection that will kill him. even in her agony she is thinking of him more than she is thinking of herself but nobody wants to think about that. of course jimmy wouldn't think about that and he's manipulative so he can get the rest of the crew to believe whatever he wants them to believe about anya

3. IT! IS! A! METAPHOR!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS A STORYTELLING DEVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anya was raped by jimmy. probably multiple times. anya goes to curly to tell him about jimmy raping and assaulting her. curly presumably tells anya that he will keep an eye on it and goes about his business like nothing happened. anya has probably told curly that she was afraid of jimmy before he even tried anything but curly didn't listen. when anya tells curly that she is pregnant and it is a result of being raped by jimmy, curly says he has known jimmy for a long time and "will talk to him". curly does nothing to protect anya or assure her that she will be safe from jimmy. curly does not tell anyone else on the ship what jimmy is doing. curly has robbed anya of her voice, and jimmy has robbed anya of her autonomy and safety.

when curly is rendered completely helpless by the crash, anya is entrusted with the duty of taking care of him, which means that his autonomy and his safety are completely in her control as the ship's designated nurse. he is robbed of his voice by the explosion as well; jimmy caused the crash intentionally, so indirectly, jimmy robbed curly of his voice, autonomy, and safety. just like what was done to anya.

anya is traumatized by having her autonomy and safety ripped away from her by jimmy. she is sickened by the thought of forcing someone to do something they don't want to do because it reminds her too much of what jimmy did to her. she knows that curly has no voice, just like she had no voice, and she cannot bear knowing that he can't say what he wants and doesn't want. without the ability to use his voice, everything done to curly is done without his consent. they have no idea what he does and does not want. all he can do is scream and thrash.

curly's inaction and repeated dismissal of anya is a big factor that played into why jimmy crashed the ship. if curly had done something and just listened to anya when she told him that she was afraid of jimmy, that she wanted a safe place away from him, none of this would have ever happened. this is curly's 'divine punishment' (for lack of a better word) for being complicit in her rape and not allowing her to have a voice. his denial of her voice stripped her of everything and left her in jimmy's hands.

anya giving up the responsibility of caring for curly is, first and foremost, one of the only ways she can take control of anything in her life and on the ship after she had all control stripped from her. they all agreed to keep curly alive, so if she doesn't do it, someone else will have to. she gets to decide what happens to somebody indirectly, regardless of how it makes her feel, and it's a way to gain her own control of something. and for that, for control of her own decisions, she trades control of curly. control of his autonomy, his safety, and his voice. and now curly is at the mercy of the man who took it all away from anya. he is forced to lay motionless and experience what anya was experiencing as he ignored her pleas. jimmy violently forces pills down his throat. he beats him. he berates him. the only reason jimmy doesn't rape curly's burned and charred body is because jimmy sees him as human, as a friend (regardless of how jealous or hateful he is towards him) instead of as an object or a vessel, and curly has to sit there and think about that fact. do you think he's grateful that he isn't pregnant, that he can't get pregnant? that all he has to worry about is himself and his own body being beaten and abused by jimmy? that he can only be stripped of his autonomy from someone on the outside, while anya had to live with the fact that it wasn't just jimmy ripping her of her autonomy but now the new living thing he put inside of her against her will? she can try to run and hide from jimmy but she can't run from what's inside of her. for that, curly can't run from jimmy at all

^_^

[occasionallyprosie]

A Thousand Ways

Chapter 9: "Returning to the scene of the crime"

The heroes, finally reunited, traverse a few in-between eras, sail across Wind's Great Sea, and then end up in a much older era. Four really doesn't want to run into the current captain of the guard.

First | <<Previous | Next>>

Not Febuwhump (honestly just filler tbh)

Read On AO3 Warnings: None

Things eventually got back to normal.

The next era after a pair of heroless ones was Wind's, which Legend found much more enjoyable when he wasn't struggling to meet basic survival requirements like food, fresh water, and warmth. Even the sailing, though he hated it and his nerves were shot the whole time, was better than sitting on a flooding island as it stormed.

Four's era came after and Legend managed to pay back the people he stole from without being noticed by guards. He did keep the cloak, he liked it.

They were approached by guards though.

"Ey! Link! Welcome back!" One said, offering a high five to the Smithy. "Finally off medic leave?"

Remembering what the one medic said, Legend scowled.

Four clearly had his own reservations but complied with the high five. "I'm not on leave, Thomas, I resigned. Full time blacksmithing, remember?"

"Yeah, right," they waved a hand dismissively. "If you're looking for the captain, last I heard he took a patrol out for just outside of town."

"Thanks. Anyways I need to go, so..."

"Yeah, yeah," they said dismissively and gave a sort of condescending farewell.

Four's shoulders slumped and he looked over his shoulder at them. "Sorry about that, they umm... Most people here don’t fully believe me about the content of my adventures nor their aftereffects."

Legend glared in the direction the soldier went. "I noticed."

The other heroes had similar glares or winces of sympathy, Hyrule's magic felt a bit more volatile, and Wild's hand was twitching toward his slate.

It hit a bit close to home. He had his fair share of non-believers when he was young. Most everyone unaffected by mental magics believed him by the time he killed Ganon the fourth time, but...

"It's alright," Sky promised. "Where to?"

"The market. Hyrule Town has everything and we can restock. I'll go ask the captain about monster reports," Four said, and Legend caught his eye.

"I'll tag with you."

A few other pairs were made and Legend followed Four to the guard station he had run from last time.

"What happened last time you were here?" Four asked, eyes glinting lavender as they walked.

"I got caught for stealing some bread, and a guy I heard someone call Captain Smith caught me. I escaped again, ran into monsters, and almost passed out if not for adrenaline keeping me awake. Then I threatened that captain and more specifically the medic who helped me."

Four frowned. "Why?"

"Because he called you guys insane."

The smithy flinched, looking away. "They... What did you say?"

"I said that you guys are real, sane, and they need to pay you the respect you deserve after sacrificing your childhood for their safety."

Four looked up at him, the myriad of colors in his eyes fading behind a film of scarlet.

"You keep saying "you guys" and other plural forms of address... Why?"

Legend gave a wry smirk at the hero who came centuries before him. "In my era, the Heroes of the Four Sword are known and they're known well. Your stories... The stories of your adventures helped me through my first one, I know time and embellishment or censorship may have altered the truth of them, but every legend I ever read agreed on one thing and it is that you are heroes."

Four was silent. They had stopped walking at some point and he was staring at Legend with wide, glassy, iridescent eyes.

"We... We're known?"

Legend didn't miss the strain in his voice. He made a note to make sure all of his companions were aware of the stories told about them, at least the ones who he knew came before him.

"You are. Not that well known, I'll admit, I had to dive pretty deep into our history, and frankly, all the legends about you are written in my ancient Hylian, which almost nobody knows anymore. The Sheikah have very little on you too, so I had a roadblock there, but..." Legend shrugged. "I... I needed to find proof that my quest wasn't hopeless, and finding your story gave me an assurance that I could win and survive."

Four nodded, clearly thrown off balance. He gave Legend a wobbly smile.

"Thank you, vet. For telling me. I... I needed to hear that."

"Anytime... Now let's go see if your dad has any information for us."

Four made an agreeable noise, Legend almost missed when he wiped his face and he definitely didn't notice whatever had been wiped, but he saw the end of the movement right as Four continued ahead.

He followed after. They entered the guard station, the guards greeting Four familiarly.

"Link! You must be back to yourself then if you're..." a familiar voice trailed off, making a strained noise.

Four made a face before he looked at the medic whom Legend gave a sharp grin.

"What do you want, Johnson?" Four asked, voice carefully neutral.

The medic squawked. "Nothing! Sorry! Uhh, thanks for all your hard work, Link!"

He scrambled off. Four made a confused face while Legend snorted.

The bell visibly went off in the smithy's head and he whipped around to give Legend an incredulous look. "What was that?"

Legend grinned, watching the medic dart away. "That would be the medic I threatened."

"You--" he sighed heavily, an azure sheen settling over storm cloud gray. "Goddesses, if this is the shit you pulled here, I can't wait to see what happened in the other eras."

"Eh, I was sick in the Sailor's and whoever's came after his. For the others I just kinda ran and killed things. Like a normal adventure."

"I really don’t believe that."

When Four's father showed up, they actually already got the information they needed from a lieutenant who knew Four and had been more than happy to provide the information.

As they exited the station, Four stopped in his tracks and Legend looked to where his pale, slightly panicked eyes were looking at and his own narrowed.

"Smithy?" Legend lightly tapped his foot against the other's ankle.

Four shook his head. "S'fine. I got it." He moved forward and the knight noticed them. "Hey, Dad."

"Link, what're you doing here?"  Smith Senior sounded a bit confused, a bit worried, and Legend didn't miss the unsure glances sent his way, but ultimately he sounded blunt and detached. Legend reminded himself that he had his sword now, he had his pegasus boots, and his body wasn't drained and exhausted. He could take just about anything as he was currently.

"Passing through. Some friends and I are taking up mercenary jobs to handle problems the army can't really do thanks to bureaucracy or manpower," Four said, voice detached and cold, as blunt as he had been when the group first met him only without that cerulean sharpness.

"I see... Interesting choice of friends," Smith Senior said with a glance at Legend.

"He's weird," Four dismissed.

Legend shrugged. "I travel more and further than you think, time has never been a limitation."

Smith Senior made an odd face and with how increasingly annoyed he seemed, Legend could see the family resemblance. Oddly though, this man was not the same as the one he'd met last time. He was... colder, and less understanding.

"Yes, well... We have to go. I'll see you around," Four said, grabbing Legend's arm and dragging him on.

Legend glanced over his shoulder and met the knight's eyes. His own narrowed, considering.

The man he met before had seemed to actually care for his son, though he clearly had struggled to understand him and didn't wholeheartedly defend him... however, this man that Four was dragging Legend away from, was cold and at the very least acted as though Four wasn't good enough.

He didn't get it.

Next>>

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Since you have been sharing some lyrics analysis of harry’s music

What do you think about “little freak”? 👀

I feel like there is so much we can try to figure it out

I agree with the idea it is about the sm

The first parts of the lyrics are so direct with “You bring blue lights to dreams”

Or “Somehow, you've become some paranoia”

A wet dream just dangling

But your gift is wasted on me”

I guess new music is coming and maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling his energy more the past month or so and wanting to analyze songs. So here’s a long awaited draft.

I think little freak is really complex and it feels like three parts to me. To me, all Harry’s songs are inspired by his real world bodily sensations, his mental fantasies, and his spiritual metaphysical feelings (his gut and intuition). So this song in a way feels like three parts addressing three things—mind body and soul. That’s why I say his songs can be about a physical person and still be spiritually a song for his soulmate. I think he’s aware of some songs he writes and others I think he’s acting as a divine channel and what comes out comes out which is why I’m not sure how deeply he looks into his own work. She is one of these that I think poured out of him and maybe even shocked him that he could write something like that whereas other songs he’s more meticulously worked on over time to get right like this one.

Little freak, Jezebel

So the term Jezebel comes from the Bible and basically it’s a term for a woman who is sexually alluring and can lead men to evil, not unlike a siren. Jezebel is also a term for a black American women stereotype that was used to dehumanize and sexualize black women. In general it’s a sexist term that more colloquially means a sexually alluring woman who’s dangerous, a femme fatale. I’m not sure he is aware of its racialized history in the US as a white British guy. I don’t think he would call a black female muse a jezebel.

There is a repeated muse in Harry’s songs who is someone very alluring and tempting to him, but ultimately they are not something he can have or he thinks they aren’t right for him in some way or at this time even though they feel right to him. Whether because he won’t let himself have them or because they won’t let him have them the full way he wants. “You sunshine you temptress” “you flower you feast” Someone both light and dark. Complex, “not too sweet.” Calling someone a freak can be sexual but he can also be saying someone who is a freak of nature, someone who stands out and is different.

You sit high atop the kitchen counter

High as in above or as in high on drugs, (“so you wait for me in the sky” “you’re in your airplane seat”) I get the image of a boy reaching up high for cookies. Something desirable he yearns for but can’t quite reach, there they are, always just out of reach, kitchen is the place of domesticity for Harry “kids in the kitchen listen to dance hall”

He could also mean literally they are sitting on his counter top “you were just doing cocaine in my kitchen, you never listen”

Stay green a little while

Stay green as in stay young, naive, I think Harry sees himself as someone that has been taught hard lessons in life. I think he sees the world much differently than others, not just because of success but because the industry he’s in and what he’s had to give of himself, he is jaded. Green like jade.

I also always felt this line is him saying, stop rushing things, just let things happen at their own pace, things will be what they are meant to be in time, we have time (timing is another theme in his music “guess we’re in time” “one day” and gives a theme of two people never quite syncing up but almost getting there)

You bring blue lights to dreams

For me, blue is indigo the color of the soul, indigo the color of Scorpio and Pluto energy, blue ties to the throat chakra, this line feels to me very much like “it’ll all go away when it comes to you” blue is calming, but blue is also sad, his dreams are always tinged blue without his person, they bring a blue haze over his life, a sadness that doesn’t go away even when he reaches his dreams, even when he’s “9 in the morning, the man drops his kids off at school”

Harry had to stop worrying about where you are and who you go home to because he had to accept loving from a distance. This is the antidote he discovered back in Fine Line. Loving them, even if only in his internal gallery, is the antidote to his sadness without them. He keeps them out of the shade, out of the harsh darkness of the world, by holding them safely inside and close to his chest. You can love someone perhaps more when you aren’t with them. That seems odd but when you have no say or control in their life, you learn love as appreciation not ownership. And that’s his lesson. “Now I know what it’s like to love from the outside” What’s interesting is this duality throughout like the craving from harry to know them, to be close, to have something real, yet it’s all dreams and distance. Harry is looking for someone who understands closeness and distance in the way he does.

Starry haze, crystal ball

“There’s a haze on the horizon babe” this line is like him storytelling a bit, painting a picture of the energy he feels, it feels like a starry haze. I also deeply feel that Harry has consulted spirituality as a way to answer his questions about life and love, he’s confused and he went to a psychic, he’s searching for answers, trying to figure out how to get better, he’s saying everything feels cosmic with you

Throughout his songwriting Harry seems to express this feeling of fatedness of things needing to be the right time “the script was written” (something great) “I used the light to guide me home” So here I think he’s also invoking the idea of like he knows there’s something more powerful at play than just them two

Somehow, you've become some paranoia

Somehow indicates he’s not sure, but a paranoia is an obsession, this person, this thought, he’s paranoid about it, he feels delusional and “out of his head” The paranoia is the obsession with figuring out who they are and where they are.

Did you guys ever see that 365 movie on Netflix where like the guy is looking for this woman he saw and loved in a dream and he had someone paint her and he met the woman in real life? He kidnaps her and it’s not all healthy but like he does that thinking she would never be real. I think he maybe found her purposefully. Anyway… This gives me same vibes but not that crazy. I feel like Harry has dreamt of someone and he has the money to consult psychics to run face checks (yes I think he could be this obsessive, all that fixed Aquarius baby?) And finding them is this paranoia. He’s been everywhere and yet he can’t find his person and he’s frustrated. What else is he supposed to do “hit me with a real life and that’s when I’ll change” he values freedom and wants to respect theirs but also he feels like the timing is coming

A wet dream just dangling

A wet dream is generally a term for guys (although women too) ejaculating in their sleep. It isn’t always from a sex dream but it can be. Sex dreams can be wild yall. But yeah it’s dangling because he feels like they are there just waiting for him to grab them, dangling in front of him to keep him going, this thing always right out of reach, I think wet dream is him saying like a dream fantasy come to life but right now they’re dangling in the dream part

But your gift is wasted on me

Gift of what? I always read this as gift of love. He doesn’t feel deserving of love, which is something I’ve said before.

“You showed me a power that’s strong enough to bring light to the darkest of days” “you never told me who but you taught me how to love” this person showed him true unconditional love “you still open the door” and he feels undeserving.

I was thinkin' about who you are

“I don’t know who she is” “he’s thinking of you, like all of us do” Harry is always thinking thinking thinking and one thing he thinks about is who this person must be, this person he so deeply feels and yet is so distant from, how can he get to them?

Your delicate point of view, I was thinking about you

Delicate is how I would describe Matilda and Boyfriends and Make My Day, all such delicate songs. He feels like he wants to be gentle with this person, he’s afraid to hurt them. Him calling their view delicate is enough to indicate he understands a lot of nuance to what they feel “I know you’re scared because hearts get broken” Harry has been described as perceptive and intuitive, he understands how they must see him and his life “get the picture, cut out my middle”

I'm not worried about where you are

This is so interesting. Why is he worried? I think Harry is afraid this person may not wait for him, or will stop loving him and prove him right about love not being real. Or at least he used to be worried until he accepted himself and started to see all he brings to the table. Now he’s not worried, he trusts the connection because love is appreciation not ownership. What he wants his fans and media to understand and what he had to learn in regards to his person.

He was worried about where this person was. And presumably to a degree if they were physically safe as well based on some context with Matilda. He understands this persons heaviness, that they can hold space for his too “getting heavy, you know what it feels like”

Or who you will go home to, I'm just thinkin' about you, just thinkin' about you

Home is a big theme— obviously he means he’s worried or used to be worried about who they’re sleeping with “are you sleeping baby by yourself, or are you giving it to someone else?” “if you’re going out tonight then I’m going out tonight I know you’re persuasive”

Did you dress up for Halloween?

But now he’s thinking of them and others as a person, not just an idea or a wet dream. This is what the gift of love taught Harry. To see women as humans in a deeper way “you still open the door” We move from spiritual connection to a real world person that taught Harry part of this lesson, he doesn’t care about sex and the body he wants to talk to them, but this section is about the body and him seeing their body as something beyond sex

I spilt beer on your friend, I'm not sorry,

Now we have pieces of things he wants to tell this person. That’s the hard part about not talking or moving on, you still wanna tell them things

a golf swing and a trampoline, maybe we'll do this again

Playing, having fun, “I’ve never met someone who’s so perfect for me” he’s optimistic about a new person to me here (like early conversing, early dating—maybe we’ll hang out again) and also at the same time showcasing reaching out to a past person, it’s kinda beautiful the mirroring (which is his point, it’s all the same)

Tracksuit and a ponytail, you hide the body all that yoga gave you

He’s careful not to objectify them and look at their body through its abilities and what it does for them, not his sexual pleasure or gaze which shows amazing internal work to me. After Kendrick’s last album can’t wait to see how Harry’s inspired and what he may finally write about. This line is also about body. He notices their body and respects it.

Red wine and a ginger ale

Grapejuice! Red wine is a theme as well for Harry. “It’s not a stain of red wine, I’m bleeding love” I think Harry hints at using drugs and sex and alcohol (also obviously tattooing) to handle the pressure of his early intense fame. He “pays for it more than he did back then.” He’s trying to temper the wine now, he’s older now

But you would make fun of me, for sure

It could be light teasing or this past person he’s reflecting on may also be someone who made him feel like he was bad or not good enough because he couldn’t give what they needed or wanted “I gotta get better” for example. HS1 hints at a toxic relationship so maybe it’s light hearted or maybe they always pointed out Harry being different. He doesn’t drink a lot at times. He goes through periods. Maybe they were teasing him for being sober and they like to party and he’s outgrowing that part of life.

I disrespected you, Jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard, A broken ankle, karma rules, You never saw my birthmark

This is to many people and echoes a sentiment in boyfriends, I think it’s to specific past people who he’s apologizing for giving immature love to. He didn’t realize he was over promising, it’s also an apology to his person/sm for disrespecting them in the sense of how he let his life be played out in the media, I think he’s aware how he’s painted and he does worry it will affect their view of him “I hope you don’t run from me” “your a dirty little monster” he sees himself like this, he landed too hard into fame and disrespected people by how he coped. And he’s reflecting now how it kept them from really seeing him clearly, and a part of him wishes he had shown his vulnerabilities, his birth mark, his “scars even though they can’t always be seen”

So yes this song to me is sort of like an apology to the women in Harry’s heart, the ex he hurt deeply and that changed him, his sm he yearns to meet and holds deeply within, women he had flings with and didn’t give much to, etc.

Why did he choose little freak for the title? Harry likes to pick interesting song titles like if I could fly, and like that song, this song is named for the first line. Because his songs are letters to someone he can’t speak to directly. Think of it as

Little Freak,

You have thinking in the chorus—mind, you have crystal ball in the beginning—soul, you have body and yoga in the second verse—body; and you have a realization of the connection of mind (I disrespected you) body (jumped in feet first and I landed too hard, a broken ankle) and soul (karma rules) for a whole picture of intimacy “you never saw my birthmark”

This whole album to me was Harry reflecting back on his career to that point and his growth and lessons and letting go. This song shows what he’s learned about love as appreciation as the overarching theme of the song and album.

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 13)

“We can’t just charge people blood as payment, Shawn!”

“Why not?! Gus, it’s so much more ethical than any other way to get it!”

“What about finding someone who’s not desperate for help to donate it?”

“What, like you? Gus, I’m pretty sure I’ll need some every day, you can’t handle that!” And Shawn’s not sure he’d be able to stop at one bag, one pint. The blood bag is still laying on the floor, the fridge door is still open, some of it is still lingering in his mouth, and yet already he can feel the tight, twisting sensation taking hold of his insides, the slight dryness in his throat. It’s not too bad– he might be spot-on with thinking he’s gotten used enough to their… scents? Tastes? To them, being around him, and being used to them helps, but the temptation is still there. He thinks if he got a taste of Gus’s smooth, comforting, important blood, he wouldn’t be able to stop until he had every. Last. Drop.

The thought is so strong, so enticing, that Shawn actually has to reel back from it, as though he can leave it hovering where his head had been. He can’t. It follows. He clears his throat, swallowing the iron-tainted saliva (or whatever it is now) to try and soothe the new dryness. It doesn’t work. “Besides, that’d just be weird. You guys are my friends, not an all-you-can-eat-buffet.”

“You guys? Uh, newsflash, Spencer, I never offered.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Good! Then you agree the blood payment thing is the right option!”

“No, it’s still creepy,” Lassie says matter-of-factly. 

“And a little like they’re making some kind of evil deal with you,” Jules says with an apologetic wince. 

“Not an evil deal. A supernatural one, yes, but I’m clearly a good vampire. Like that angsty guy in Buffy.”

“Angel?”

“No, Gus, the guy in the trenchcoat, looks like he was made out of all square bones.”

“Yeah, Angel!”

“They named the trenchcoat wearing brooding vampire Angel? … Wow. Point is, I figured out a solution! … Kind of. I’m still not sure how often I’ll need this, I guess. So far it seems… a little dependent on a few things.”

“... Like?” He can’t tell them. If he tells them they’re apart of it, they might leave. He’s already on thin ice as it is, it was thin before he was a vampire and now he’s basically only above the water because he’s clinging to some kind of branch of his own making above him. Maybe a big kite? Could be a low-flying helicopter, but then the water would be all choppy– what was he thinking about again?

Right, thin ice. He knows he’s been just barely clinging onto deserving them all these years, he knows, and now…

He can’t tell them. He can’t.

“Like getting hurt,” he blurts out. “I uh– I dove out of the way of a car earlier and it hurt, and that’s why I was suckign the bag down like that when you came in.”

“You dove out of the way of a car? Spencer what the hell did you–”

“Look, I caught a kidnapper for a guy who told me without any prompting, that he’d give me the blood from his veins to catch her. That is a direct quote! He offered first!”

“Where is this kidnapper now?”

“The station, probably the holding cell.”

Lassie and Jules share a look, and finally fully put their guns away. Lassie points at Shawn. “We’re checking your story,” Lassie warns. “Guster, do you think you can handle keeping an eye on him?”

“Please.” Gus pulls a cross made out of two taped-together pencils from his jacket.

Shawn’s entire body tenses, and he finds himself lurching backwards with a hiss. The moment passes as suddenly as it comes over him, and before the hiss is even done leaving his throat he slaps his hand over his mouth and looks at Gus with wide eyes.

For a long, breathless second, nobody moves. Gus stares at Shawn with his mouth agape and a low squeal leaking out of his throat. Lassie and Jules are frozen in place, slightly hunched, waiting for Shawn to pounce. He doesn’t. He’s as frozen as the rest of them, hand over his mouth and keenly aware that his heart isn’t beating in his ears. He didn’t know he could miss the sound of his own organs so much. Muscle? Gus said something about the difference once. Maybe Shawn should’ve paid more attention when Gus talked about how squishy inside parts worked.

It seems to stretch on forever. Shawn is the first to break the moment, clearing his throat again and pulling his hand down to his jacket pocket. Lassie and Jules reach for their guns. Gus’s hand holding the cross starts to shake.

“That… was involuntary,” Shawn says, sniffing and nodding at nothing. “That uh– that was bad, I’ll own up to that one. That was creepy.”

“No kidding.” Gus doesn’t lower the cross. His voice is garbled and strained, like he’s holding back from throwing up. Again. Shawn starts looking through the cabinets for an antacid, maybe a Ginger Ale.

“Please tell me you have more than just that on you,” Jules whispers. It’s weird to hear whispering sound so loud, so clear. There are qualities to it that make it obvious she’s keeping her voice quiet and low, but to Shawn it’s as easy to hear as if she’s shouting it. He pretends he can’t hear it for her sake. Maybe he should be hurt by her suggesting Gus need weapons– okay, maybe he is hurt– but he also understands.

That was a lot. The instinctual lurching away, the hiss, he’s pretty sure his eyes went red again just based on a feeling– he’d want to make sure Gus had a way to protect himself too.

“I’ve got a bunch of really sharp wooden pencils in my desk,” Gus mumbles back. Would those work? Shawn’s not sure if he hopes they do, or if he hopes they don’t.

“Carlton, do you have an extra gun in your car?”

“I’m not giving Guster a gun.”

“Besides, guns can’t kill vampires. Unless they had silver bullets.”

“I thought that was werewolves?”

“Vampires too.”

“Gus.” Shawn finds the antacids and tosses them Gus’s way. He misjudges how much force he puts into it. The bottle hits Gus in the chest hard enough to knock him back and take the wind out of him.

“Crap! I’m so sorry man, I–!”

“I’ll grab the gun.” Lassie leaves and comes back in the time it takes for Jules to help Gus into his desk chair and make sure he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” Gus wheezes. “We need to kick Shawn off the softball team, though.”

“What?!”

“You almost threw a bottle of medicine through Gus’s chest!” Jules opens it and hands Gus a tablet, which he accepts with a slight whine and grateful nod. “Shawn, you could kill someone with a pitch!”

“I’ll get a handle on it! This whole vampire powers thing has been a little spotty is all! I’m sure I’ll get used to it!”

Lassie hands the gun over to Gus, with no small amount of hesitation or visible emotional turmoil. “If I get that back in anything less than perfect condition, Spencer won’t be the one you have to worry about.”

“He doesn’t have to worry about me in the first place!” He does, he really does, Shawn can’t even close his mouth all the way because he wants to drink up every bit of their smell-tastes he can he loves it he loves them he wants them around forever–

He shakes his head, trying to make it seem indignant by throwing in a huff. With one last concerned (and suspicious) look his way, Lassie and Jules head out to check on his… alibi? Story? Excuse? On what he told them, at the station.

The ache in his throat fades away a bit when they leave. Not totally, but a little. He sits at his own desk, watching Gus nurse a bottle of water. For a long time, neither talks.

And then Shawn sits up. “Dude, wait, we totally need to talk about the psychic thing!”

Gus blinks, and then sits up straight as well (with a small groan of pain as he does). “Oh my gosh! I totally forgot with everything else!”

“Dude, I’ve been psychic my whole life!”

“You’re followed around by the ghosts of people we solved the murders of!”

“I totally have visions and psychic intuitions! I thought they were just gut feelings, and-and a good imagination!”

“You’re walking proof the afterlife exists!”

“My grandma was psychic!”

“Wait, what? Your grandma? The one who was in the car with us?”

“No, Gus, my other grandma. Yes, that grandma!”

“You do have another grandma, Shawn. Your mom has a mom.”

“Oh yeah. … I don’t know if I’ve met my mom’s parents. They were never really interested in meeting me.”

“Wow, and with how involved your mom is that’s such a surprise.”

“Whoa, whoa! Why would you say that, man?”

“Sorry. I’m just kind of freaking out!”

“You are?! I’m the one who’s realizing my entire life is a lie! And then a truth, but I thought it was a lie, but it’s not!”

“Have you had any more visions yet?”

“A bunch!” Shawn flings himself out of his chair, picking up a ball toy from his desk and tossing it between his hands. “I felt my grandma and asked her something and she gave me visions of her being psychic, for one.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously! Oh my– Gus, does this mean my dad knew she was? Has he been hiding that from me this whole time?!”

“He probably didn’t believe her. But you should ask him.”

Shawn feels the phantom pain, the dryness, the hunger. He swallows. “Maybe another time. I still gotta process this, man. I don’t even know what’s psychic and what’s not.”

“Now that I can help you with. One hundred percent normal brain, at your disposal.”

“Gus, we both know that’s not true. If you weren’t black and I wasn’t a chatterbox we’d both have been diagnosed as Autistic ages ago.”

Gus nods a little. “Alright, fine. But it’s still a non-psychic brain, so it’s better than nothing.”

“... Okay, uh… do you see thing highlighted when they’re important?”

“What?”

“Like, you notice a detail and it highlights. Gets a little glowy, stands out, maybe lifts up a little in your vision like someone cut it out of a magazine?”

“Shawn.”

“Yeah, now that I say it out loud I know that’s not normal. But is that psychic or eidetic hyper-observant whatever else? I have too much stuff going on up in here, man! I can’t pick it all apart!”

“Okay, try something easier.”

“Okay, okay, uh… do you zoom in on things you notice? Like if you see something across the street, can you zoom your vision in?”

“Like a camera?”

“Yeah! Okay, so that’s nor–”

“Not even kind of normal, Shawn! You could do that before the vampire powers?! Okay, I’m starting a list.”

“Better pull out a couple of pages, buddy. I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot.”

“A psychic feeling?”

“Man, you know I can’t tell if it is or not! … It might be. How many days off did you take?”

“I blocked out my whole week.”

“... Maybe make it two weeks. Just– you know. Just in case.”

[system-architect]

i've been getting heavily back into gw2 RP lately and i've noticed an increasing amount of gw2 rp events popping up, so i wanna give some unsolicited advice that has helped me grow as a roleplayer + have More Fun roleplaying, in the hopes it helps spark that in other folks too:

1 - follow the "yes, and" rule of improv! RP is all improv! "yes, and" basically means accepting/listening to what your improv partner has said, and then building on it. in a roleplay setting, this can mean having yourself + your character consider and internalize what the other person has said, and then building off of it with their own dialogue/reaction/proposal/etc. it does not mean agreeing with the other character, it means trying to not let the scene die right there even if your character would ordinarily do something like just walk off or ignore the other person.

you sometimes have to force your character to be ever-so-slightly ooc in order to do "yes, and", but it is SUPER worth it. RP is often like you and your partner laying out a series of little tom and jerry mousetraps full of lore and character development and conflict for the other person to step in. try ur best to both step in them and also keep laying them out for the other person, and you will have fun!

2 - fully allow your character to be stupid, embarrassing, make incorrect assumptions, get into trouble, get in over their head, be outmatched, have too much confidence, bite off more than they can chew, and generally fail at things. you can still have a "cool" character in spite of all of these things-- but failure can be fun, and helps make interactions more realistic

2a - relatedly, at all costs, avoid seeing RP as a 'game' that can be 'won' by either character or player. this one should be obvious, but a lot of people behave like this reflexively especially if they're worried about the 'coolness' or 'power level' of their character becoming compromised, so it's good to be aware of. this can kill people's desire to RP with you very very quickly

3 - be aware that your character will, or should!!, grow and change over time as you write and rp them more. if you're sitting there thinking through your next emote and you get a wild idea in your head, or you look at what you just hit enter on and thought "wow, they're acting kind of different, is this too OOC"... consider for a second if it's just a new, unexpected Thing about your character surfacing due to the rp! seeing your little brain guy evolve from a couple paragraph backstory pitch into a fully fleshed out person full of surprises is part of the fun! embrace it! ...and if it IS too much, you can always try to fix it in future rps haha

4 - last, but not least... COMMUNICATE! get to know your partner and their visions for their characters, and their inspirations, the types of stories they like, and so on. make sure you have a firm idea of the sorts of boundaries you want to lay out in your RP-- are either of you cool with injuries, your characters knowing secret backstory details about each other, romance/flirting, lore bending/breaking, and so on! don't be afraid to ask them in party chat before you hit send on something if it feels like it pushes a line, and absolutely bring up any cool ideas you get, too!

[eeblouissant]

This is just headcanon but I do think that you know the episode where Dorothy gets to redo prom with that guy and she gets to have this whole monologue to Sophia about why she ended up with Stan, her lack of self esteem, and how deeply she clearly wishes her life had been different, that she hadn't ended up with him and gotten pregnant (very arguably canonically been raped but that's another convo) and been treated like trash? I believe she's had that same conversation with Blanche. And I'm sure Blanche has sat with Dorothy after various Stan fucks ups and watched her cry, or heard her through the bedroom walls. Seen how Dorothy would change when he was around and putting his shit on her and manipulating her.

hi anon, you’re absolutely correct & I have many thoughts to share so this might get long (and maybe a little sensitive, but I’ll have put up any warnings I feel I should before all this)

Edit: yes this needs a content warning for talk of assault / a semi-deep dive into that night with Stanley (because I did want to have that convo anon, you brought up a very important point)

Firstly, on Blanche & being there for her - I believe that Blanche was the first person Dorothy came to after everything. We know that Dorothy moved in basically right after the divorce (and was most likely completely on her own, with Sophia still living at shady pines / possibly not having the best relationship with her because of it or the stroke) she had no one to turn to. No one to cry to - she seems like the type of person to not have a real reaction to things until much much later, in some attempt to pretend like it hasn’t crushed her.

Blanche is warm, and kind, and full of energy (more than anything she’s a blank slate of sorts, she doesn’t know Dorothy for her failures or all of the horrible, horrible things that have ruined her life) - a complete 180 from all the people that had been in her life previously. Of course she’d crack then, of course Blanche would be the first to hold her while she finally cried. And that would absolutely turn into an attachment (relationship, whatever you’d like to call it) that is far different from the relationship she develops with Rose. Of course it would be temporary, her and Rose would develop a close relationship like that at some point (I think she would struggle because of Roses extensive knowledge on grief and mental health in general, she would want to help her like a professional because that’s what she knows to do. Dorothy struggles to accept the truth straight up sometimes, not until the situation is absolutely dire. Or at least that’s been my observation - so I feel like their relationship, in this way, would be a bit strained?)

One of the only times you’ll find Blanche Devereaux in complete sincerity is when Dorothy comes to her about or has been bothered/upset/hurt by Stan. Or the memory, Blanche does not harbour one good feeling towards that man because she knows the pain of what he did to her (which I will touch on in a minute) has been life long.

Content warning applies past this point

Now, secondly, I think we should have this conversation. Dorothy was assaulted. (I have issues using the R word, for personal reasons, but know that I agree 100% with your language here. You’re correct.)

In every story I’ve heard about the way that night happened, Dorothy is either:

A) drunk. She’s under the influence, she is not aware of what’s going on or able to consent.

Or B) manipulated and/or guilt-tripped into the act with Stanley. She was made to feel guilty so that she’d give in. Whether it was because he was “going to be shipped off to Korea” and “that was [my] part in the war effort” , it didn’t matter what sick story Stanley made up to get her to sleep with him. He took advantage of her, it was not consensual, Dorothy did not want it. Full stop.

Either she agreed to the act out of guilt, or she was too intoxicated to consent. Its cut and dry. Clear as day when anyone speaks about it - each instance alludes to assault. At the time (in history) it may have not been perceived that way, but we now know the signs, what to look for, and that it very much was.

This (fact, really) is one of the biggest reasons why I interpret, write, and portray Dorothy the way I do. She is feeling the very real affects of such a traumatizing moment (and aftermath, holy hell. She did nothing to deserve all of that for something that couldn’t have possibly been her fault at 16-17 years old - I have absolutely no words) 38 years later. Because right after the fact, she was getting married to the man that did this to her after being made to feel like it was her fault, then raising his child, and another 9 years later. All while being virtually alone, cheated on and lied to the entire time. Of course she wouldn’t have room to process or accept the fact until her mind was finally clear. (Until someone like Blanche came along)

This is also another huge reason why I headcanon Dorothy battling & eventually succumbing to dissociation for the majority (if not all) of her marriage. Until it came to her children, Dorothy was shut off. On auto pilot, not there - she doesn’t remember a lot of her marriage and that very first night definitely triggered it. I think the relationship she had been in beforehand contributed to the beginning of a lifelong battle with mental illness and poor self esteem for sure, but Stanley kicked that door in. Dorothy was shaped into the person that we see. I strongly believe that Dorothy would have been a very very different person, had life not been so unrelentingly cruel to her.

Random point but, Sophia dropping that “you used my daughter & didn’t ask for my permission” line hurts a little more than it should, after putting the pieces together. There’s some hurt in her voice there & no one can tell me otherwise. Im convinced she’s only nice to Stan for the same reasons that he’s still in Dorothy’s life - she knows Dorothy struggles with Stan’s presence for a list of reasons. I cannot understand why she’d let him hang around otherwise, personally. (Sophia is also the one to drop “he got you drunk” ((which ??? Holy hell. If it was actually stanley that got Dorothy drunk to the point of not being able to consent, that is an evil, evil man)) when Dorothy goes on about why she let all that happen to her. I could go on about all the little things Sophia says to Dorothy or about the situation in general that just break my heart.)

Anyway, thank you for bringing up that point anon because I’ve been wanting to find a reason to talk about it since I started posting here - I’m shocked it has yet to be talked about here honestly, when it’s so painfully clear.

[werewolf-kat]

Was about to write in tags, but there’s actually quite a lot I do want to add onto this for educational purposes. Stuff that more people should be aware of if they don’t keep up with how technology is used and what companies or those in power seek out of it.

I’ll say upfront: it won’t matter if you individually don’t believe this is happening or think it’s paranoid to believe it’s happening at a mass scale. (I see this expressed a lot when news like this comes out, and people want to be “not scared” about it.)

Companies with access to user data genuinely collect as much as they can because it makes them money. They can target key words in your posts - private or not - to put into their algorithms for advertising. A lot of specific data can be pretty much saved or traded around forever because it’s valuable like gold for companies involved with tech or social media. I have to emphasize again: our personal information makes bank regardless of political leanings or moral standings. Names, addresses, interests, hobbies, job history, and so on.

This is an open secret among anyone who has worked or trained under companies with internet/tech-based connections. If you want to do your due diligence in looking at the sources, here are many proven/discovered cases of data that was collected and saved by companies for whatever “use” they have for it. This includes information taken from literal children despite laws like COPPA here in the US.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

More on Google in particular.

And a whole thing about data brokers (by some guy selling courses for this shady stuff).

Anyone making a website can use Google-created advertising code quite easily. This is why lots of sites might feel shady or without filters for their ads. It’s just there in the wild, being wild. The website may not get your data for the ads, but it sure is feeding Google more this way.

On top of this, any average person with some bucks to spare can buy data they’re looking for too. Whatever’s linked to your online alias, or emails you’ve used in accounts... Those can be found behind a paywall. I don’t want to share those sites here, but they’re terrifyingly easy to find if you search some basic terms for them.

Also beware that some aspects of user information stored on servers won’t be secure against malicious hackers. There are malicious hackers who break into this user data, take it hostage, and put bounties on their own unlawful collections. The basis of our information (emails, names, passwords, etc.) being of value, extends to these internet “rogues” as well.

Security for any server costs HUGE money to maintain and truly prioritize. The experience and knowledge needed from each employee and the mere importance of their role will demand massive pay. You can’t even trust a company as big as Google from the occasional security breach when they let their guard down. In the situation I linked, Google kept that particular breach a secret from the public for as long as they could. They weren’t transparent about it.

Now, when it comes to terrible laws and power trips that cops are happy to enforce, they can very often request social media companies to hand over any “evidence” and data that’s needed for police investigations. This can be helpful for truly important cases (sexual assault, murder, etc.); but it can be used for criminalizing people under laws of “moral righteousness” like this anti-abortion nightmare the U.S. is in right now.

It’s not a matter of how much of your data can be read by humans. You think humans are doing the reading anyways? Everyone agrees that’s impossible. That’s why it’s done by programmed systems.

I’m moderately experienced in JavaScript, but even in that language I’m aware of “Reg-Ex” (Regular Expression) and string/integer matching. All programming languages - to my knowledge - are capable of searching for key words. That’s what I meant earlier by algorithms that target “key words.” The company can give a list to their developers for words to include in the program, and then the program will do the searching. At an advanced level, these go into algorithms that are always “learning” and in-taking related words that come up as a pattern related to what was first entered in by the human programmers.

Not to mention, it’s not limited to text. At my lower level of programming, I’ve already tinkered with speech recognition API for personal projects (which Google unfortunately runs that API for JavaScript). It was fairly good - albeit not perfect either - at picking up what words I’m saying after the sentences complete. It screws up when my voice is too slurred due to my weird mouth muscles I guess? (My pronunciations can be real loose at times...)

There’s accessibility software where you speak into it, and it outputs text for you on a digital device such as computers. That’s been around a LONG time. The technology has been there for ages. It’s used in automatic Closed Captioning that you may see plugged onto live Twitch streams too, for example. And it’s good for accessibility!

But greedy/creepy companies use this for teaching their algorithms too. You still gotta look out for what you say around your own phones, laptops with built-in mics you can’t physically unplug, your Amazon Echoes, Google Homes, and so on.

There isn’t realistically some shady voice-listening center or any group of humans that can access/read through the data collected from millions of people in different languages and countries. We can all agree on that to an extent, I hope.

What is realistic, is that they have shady algorithms programmed to do it for them.

So don’t settle on “you’re paranoid if you think humans can keep up with all this information.” We’ve been in a technological era for a few decades now, and it advances faster than we can protect against these days.

Before recommending encrypted services, however, there’s more I should add:

You gotta research the company and any ties it may have to other companies or governments in the background. Just because something’s encrypted, doesn’t mean it’s actually safe and trustworthy.

Here’s a video on the early history of encryption (cryptography/ciphers) and how a government agency had a choke-hold on it during wars and disputes:

There’s also this article about powerful encryption that can be requested to be purposefully weakened for the sake of criminal investigations. It’s a mixed bag of helpful and harmful effects of encryption that really can’t be touched easily if at all.

It would be helpful to dig into a proven murderer’s messages or other data that they wanted to hide. This will provide a strong case in their court trial (based in what I know generally about the US legal system) when evidence is needed for their motive, or a possible premeditation level of heinous acts.

But it can also do harm in places where the law (or power-tripping cops) want to target marginalized, “inferior” groups of people.

Communicating online or around internet-connected devices with microphones, it’s nearly impossible to avoid grabbing the attention of those in power who see marginalized people as threats. If you’re seeking abortion and need help getting one, please don’t immediately trust any encrypted service you see. The same goes for anyone in a state that’s taking away their rights to medical care (such as the threat to trans health and freedom).

I understand the situation is beyond stressful; and it’d be mentally taxing as well as time consuming to find something with the lowest risk of being a target by police agencies. You still matter and your safety matters. Tread your path among these oppressive landscapes carefully.

Some “support groups” might even have one or be made entirely of undercover cops wanting to rat people out. Just, you really can’t know people out there.

I don’t quite feel qualified to give any specific advice, though. This is the best I can confidently give. I hope the information here gives direction in your own research and the resources you seek out. Wishing you safety and comfort out there.

Facebook and google are helping cops prosecute people seeking abortion. Be very careful in this new era people.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

hey. american here. american who lives in the deep south, here. american who is trans, and gay, and deeply deeply fucking terrified of what the next four years will bring, here. i don’t think you have any fucking right to tell me and people like me that we shouldn’t be upset at someone showing their ass about this on twitter.

“people in other countries see you as cultists for being so passionate about politics” there are women who are being charged with murder for having miscarriages. there are queer people out there who are having basic medical care denied to them for the simple fact that they exist. (fun fact, saying “i don’t believe this btw but a lot of other people do” doesn’t make you sound like any less of a fucking asshole.) sorry that i and people like me give a shit about the fact that people are genuinely being wiped off the fucking map.

“in other countries ‘lol’ has different contexts” honestly the fact that you think americans can’t and don’t use ‘lol’ both ironically and sarcastically is showing how completely fucking ignorant you are. i’m not even sure i can properly express how much of a fucking moron you are for saying this, so i’m just going to call you an idiot and move on.

“people are forcing others to share their opinions” nobody forced doc to share anything. nobody fucking asked him to tweet shit. nobody said hey, doc, the guy who lives in germany and streams minecraft for a living, all your american fans are waiting with bated breath to hear what you have to say about american politics! he voluntarily shared his opinion on a public platform and then got his poor little feelings hurt when some of the public didn’t like him.

i’m aware europeans only see the sensationalized versions of our politics. i’m aware that you don’t know what it’s like. i’m aware that we’re going to experience another four years of insanity— because we are. i’m already bracing myself to lose some friends. there are already bodies being found on college campuses and in dorms from students committing suicide over how hopeless we all feel.

i’m also aware that, because of your ignorance, you’re likely to hold some dogshit beliefs. i don’t blame you for that. but i do blame you for spouting your ignorance online. americans don’t need you or anyone else to educate us on how fucked queer people and women are. we’re already fucking living it.

lol.

Well friend, I posted the very unbiased and very neutral opinion, and even in my post I did apologise for the language used and enforced that it wasn't my opinion

And I understand it seem a bit, well dumb to "dumb" something down alot. But their are genuinely people made over the word "lol" and it was mainly meant for those people who are Over-reacting to what he said and are ragebaiting other people into forcing opinions out of them

I am not made at you for leaving this in my inbox. Not annoyed, and if you need somewhere to vent then I'm here.

I have a different account on twitter with the same name that goes more into detail of the people effected by the new presidental election and I do plan on making a bigger post about how it will effect everyone.

But at the time I made the other post, it was quite late and the disgusting things that were said about his family was not tolerated

People also blamed him for the "outcome of the election", and the post was made for those people too.

I prove alot of explanations that sometimes I don't agree with, but others do and that's why I included it for context and not to be hateful or spiteful or silly. I witnessed first handed the chaos that ensued in my own college because he won and I live in the UK.

Someone slammed their head into a wall. Someone went to cancel a scholarship. Someone people left to call families.

And I don't think 1 post about "please don't harass doc's family for culture differences" will fix everything. Because it won't. And I even mentioned why I didn't think I'd fix anything, I do believe. And apologied for language used because I believe those opinions are disgusting and unkind.

I'm mainly a Minecraft blog (shocking ik), and post alot of minecraft content and rarely post other content. And that's why the post is put into the context of assuming you didn't know/other people didn't know. Because I don't know the age demographic of my "audience" and I don't know who sees it.

So it may seem disingenuous, or "stupid" but I like to put things in simplified terms and provide explanations to the point so you know it's not just me making it up, and theirs genuinely thought behind it

I've their issuing a recount because (allegedly) from 75,000 to 2 million votes haven't been casted in yet and the mail ballot haven't reached yet, and I do wish for that to come in your favour.

And again, I will be making a longer post about the effects it will have on Americans as well as the rest of the world, when someone of the conspiracy dust settles and when I have the time, because I am a full time college student (and only 17 getting ahead in a program and taking external course to give you better explanations because my writing is not the best and I use TTOS for alot of it)

Again if you do have any concerns, pop a message in my DMs, I'm not mad or anything, your message was actually nicer than many other calling me all sorts of racists things, and I can see your genuine frustration and I completely understand.

I hope to be in contact soon. Please stay stay safe

[beehindblueeyes]

Hi! I have a random question, are there any general headcanons that are shared by the fan base that you like or dislike with the Shadow Boys?

How much time you got? Shekskskka

I’m not aware of to to many headcanons that are shared by the fandom. Most that are shared(that I’ve seen) are X reader related and I’ve already expressed it’s not really my deal. One’s that aren’t, that I’ve seen generally shared- I’m unfortunately not a fan of for the most part

Scaredy-cat Finney (honorary shadow boy)

Literally loathe this one. Not only does it babify him but it also actively goes against what we see of him in the movie? He’s a pretty fucking brave kid from what he faces at school and in the basement. How it takes him till the very last minute to fully break down and cry. “Tough kids” like Vance and Robin broke down like everyone else.

momma’s boy Vance

I have a complicated relationship with this one. I think he did have a good relationship with his Mom but the way people use it to? Basically ignore how he acts/who he is I’m not quite a fan of. I agree he has a softer side, we all do. But to strip away that anger? No. (Not to mention saying mommas boy has a negative connotation but I don’t think people realise?)

Pretty boy

Speaking of not realising the meaning behind phrases. Not a fan on this being used in ships, mainly brance. It was a insult!! It’s a very 2020s thing to use pretty in relation to a guy. But this is a me thing- I’m very time period oriented (like as a joke or huff moment sure but as a compliment/flirt? Not necessarily idk)

Two kinds of boys sort of bad

*cough*Reddie treatment *cough* I just… the way the fandom treats the boys a lot of the time doesn’t sit right with me. Like people have never met 13 year old boys before- they’re the most annoying people you met in your life and it’s just not coming across. They’re heavily babified by the fandom. Uber soft, Uber cry baby or clingy or gentle. I’m - im not a fan. God if anything they should be trying to hard to seem tough (Vance and robin demonstrate this. They are tough but they also heavily put on a act- mainly Vance) and then when people do make them “bad boy” it’s sort of missing the point/idea behind it. Idk people don’t right them like a bunch of young boys. It’s messy and not as marketable I guess

Sunshine/sunshine protector

See above.

Hyper modern ones

Like those headcanons that feel like they’re for a modern au but the Op doesn’t specify. I’ve already said but this is a personal thing as I really like time period and staying to it when it comes to my own work.

Ones I like-

I don’t want this post to be all negative or seem like I’m tearing peoples opinions apart so here’s a few I absolutely love.

Griffin is a menace

It makes me laugh I like it. I like the idea of him being the weird kid that ate paste or bit a kid over a game one time. (Arson and actual law breaking is a bit to far but I love weird kid griffin)

Finney was the one to braid Gwens hair

It’s just cute! I can imagine their dad getting frustrated and calling Finn in to try one morning before school not long after their mom died and Finn nails it. He did it ever since

The pinball machine is out of order after Vance’s death

Sad and makes me think. I like it as a symbolic thing like it just so happens to break down more so it on purpose but the idea of the shop keeper having quarters waiting for the next game never to happen 🥲

The grabber can’t cook. (Bonus)

[itsdanii]

I really love your “rejecting and regretting” drabbles and I would love to request one with Suna and Iwaizumi please

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 3

hey, bub. thanks for requesting! im so glad you're liking my works ♥️ was supposed to post this yesterday but i had an appointment with my psychologist so sorry for the slight delay. that being said, here's your request for iwaizumi and suna. i hope you like it♥️

genre: slight angst to fluff, slight crack

warnings: cursing, rude behavior (resolved), please do message me if i forgot any

ft. suna rintaro, oikawa!reader x iwaizumi hajime

title says it all.

Suna Rintaro

out of all the inarizaki boys, suna rintaro was the one who managed to pique your interest

at first, you thought that he was the most quiet amongst the group but the longer you stayed as a manager, the more you realized how wrong you were

In fact, suna is one of the most talkative, along with the miya twins

you even felt bad sometimes for kita for having to discipline the three as if they were his own kids

one day, you suddenly realized that you were falling for the middle blocker

you knew that it was not a good practice to fall for someone in a team you manage but it's not like you can control who you fall for, right?

and so, you made a decision to confess to him

"Oi, y/n! What's that yer holding?"

You squeaked upon being called by Atsumu and quickly hid the cake you were holding behind your back. Smiling awkwardly, you made your way to him and placed the cake on top of the table.

It was currently lunch time and as a usual routine, you, Osamu, Atsumu and Rin were meeting at your spot just near the gym to eat.

"Can you atleast lower your voice? The moment the others see this cake, it'll be gone in a snap of a finger," you scolded at him.

"Cake? What's it for?" As if a light suddenly appeared on top of Atsumu's head, he took the box and opened it with sparkling eyes. "Looks good!"

"No, wait!"

Your lips parted as you watched him take the fork that you put inside and sliced a piece for himself. He even let out a small moan of satisfaction as the taste of the cake filled his mouth.

"That...was for Rin," you said with a tiny voice, making Atsumu raise an eyebrow at you.

"Suna? Why are ya givin' him a cake?" Noticing the way you failed to answer, a grin started forming on Atsumu's lips as the realization came into him. "Holy shit, ya like him!"

"Like who?"

You and Atsumu both froze at the sound of Suna's voice. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat, you slowly turned around to face Suna who was now frowning at you.

"Rin-chan..." you said slowly.

Suna and Osamu both took their seats, Osamu sitting beside Atsumu and Suna sitting beside you.

"Y/n likes someone?" Osamu asked and took the fork to taste the cake you made, his face lightening up as it somehow reached his standards.

Being the goofy one, Atsumu nodded with a grin. He spared Suna a quick glance before wiggling his eyebrows at you playfully. "Mhm. The one they like is actually a part of the volleyball team. Any guess, Rin-chan?"

Despite the nervousness you're feeling, you managed to roll your eyes at Atsumu as he tried imitating the way you call Suna.

Suna just shrugged his shoulders, looking almost unbothered if not for the fact that he was gripping his chopsticks a little too tightly. "Don't know, don't care."

You felt your confidence drop a little at his lack of enthusiasm. "Aren't you even just a bit curious?" you asked, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

"No, why would I be? It's not like it's any of my business. You can like whoever you want to like. It's not like I give a damn about it," Suna simply answered.

The small hope inside you that you gathered throughout the whole week just to confess completely vanished, replaced with doubt and sudden insecurity. The way he said those words seemed as if he doesn't care about you at all and the fact that he said it in front of the twins made it even worse. You felt humiliated.

You glanced at Atsumu for help and the setter just sighed before sliding the box of the now half eaten cake to Suna. "Didn't have to be so rude 'bout it, Rin. Taste the cake. Maybe it'll change yer mind and make ya realize how dense ya are."

Suna just glared at him and took a bite, his eyes darting towards your figure. "Were you supposed to give this cake to the person you like?"

Seeing you nod, Suna rolled his eyes. "I don't think it's a good idea. It tastes like shit, I'm sure the guy would reject you the moment he takes a bite."

Your heart dropped at what he said. Not only did he say that your cooking was bad but also rejected you without saying it directly. The moment you felt your eyes tearing up, you immediately stood up and left the table, ignoring the continues yells of a certain miya.

Suna stared at your back before frowning at Atsumu. "What's up their ass? I just said it didn't taste good is all. They didn't have to be sensitive." Contrary to his words, Suna grabbed the fork and continued eating the cake.

"They made the cake for ya, dumbass," Atsumu answered and stood up, quickly grabbing his things before leaving to follow you.

Suna froze upon realizing what Atsumu meant. Eyes darting towards Osamu, he muttered a small curse before gripping his hair in frustration. "Samu..."

Not even waiting for what Suna wanted to say, Osamu shook his head no with a displeased look. "Ya fucked up big time. Sorry but I can't help ya with this one."

-

Suna was on his own.

No matter how much he tried convincing the twins to help him, neither of them agreed. He didn't know how to approach you after what happened. You basically ignored him even during practices, only doing your duties and talking to him when instructed by Kita.

Several days went on yet you were still ignoring him, and to say that Suna was getting fed up was an understatement. Not only were you ignoring him but you were also spending too much time with Atsumu.

Sure, he was aware that you two are bestfriends, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't turn into something more. After all, Atsumu was a likeable guy. It wouldn't be impossible for you to fall in love with someone like him.

And so, the moment Suna saw Atsumu almost kissing your cheek, he snapped.

With fast strides, he went over to your direction and pulled you away from your bestfriend who only shrugged his shoulders and went on his way as if nothing happened.

Suna stopped when you reached an empty classroom and he immediately shut the door behind him for privacy. "I'm sorry for being rude to you last time," he started.

"You weren't only rude to me, ya know?" you said and averted your gaze from him. "You also rejected me. I know that I haven't directly confessed to you yet but it still hurt. I just assumed that maybe I had a chance since we were close with each other. I'm sorry for-"

"Please, don't," Suna said to cut you off. He stepped closer to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, regret visible on his face. "Don't apologize for liking me."

"But Rin..."

"I don't want you to take it back. I like you too, y/n. So please..." Suna dropped his arms to his sides and rested his forehead on your shoulder before muttering, "Please don't ignore me anymore. I promise I'll love you the way you deserve."

You felt yourself soften at his words and despite how much what he said last time hurt you, you knew that deep inside, your heart belongs to him. You brought your hand up to run your fingertips over Suna's hair before nodding. "I won't ignore you anymore, Rin. You know why?"

He lifted his head up to look at you hopefully. "Because you like me?"

"You guessed right."

The moment you said those words, Suna immediately placed his hand on your jaw, angling your head up to him. "And I like you too."

Not able to hold himself back anymore, Suna leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, your eyes closing as you savored the feeling of finally kissing the man you like.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Iwaizumi is your brother's bestfriend

The first time you saw him was when you were in first grade, him and Tooru being a year older than you

Despite the small age gap, you still grew close with him as most of your time, you spent with Haji watching random movies and playing volleyball

When you entered high school, you only became closer to them

He protected you from bullies and those people who only wanted to use you in order to get closer to your brother

At first, you didn't notice that you were falling for him, thinking that you were just attached to him after being by his side for such a long time

But when you realized that your gazes lingered on him longer, your mind started wondering the feeling of his hand holding yours, and the way your heart fluttered everytime he was close, you knew that you've fallen for him deep

It was a Friday night, both you and Tooru were dressed in your pajamas as you waited in your room for Iwaizumi to finish making the popcorn.

Today, you all scheduled a movie night since this was the only time the three of you are free. Being a third year and a volleyball player at the same time was hard on both your brother and Iwaizumi's time and often times, you had to cancel due to them having an early practice.

Luckily for you, it seemed that their coach finally had mercy and decided to give them a weekend break.

You, on the other hand, had lots of free time in your hand since your workload isn't as heavy as theirs which is why you were always the one who adjusted when it comes to the schedule of your movie marathon night.

"Iwa-chan, gimme the one with more popcorn!" Tooru immediately said as soon as Iwaizumi stepped inside your room, balancing two bowls of popcorn in his hold.

You rolled your eyes at your brother and stood up to help Iwaizumi, purposely showing your brother how you took the one with more popcorn in it. "Sucker," you said, sticking your tongue out at him.

Iwaizumi sighed at your attitude and plopped down beside you which made your heart flutter as always.

When the movie started, you noticed how much the two were so focused on the screen. You felt a little guilty since you were basically the one who suggested the movie yet you were the one who isn't paying attention.

How can you even focus if your crush is literally sitting beside you on your bed?

You could even smell him by how close he is beside you. You were, after all, crushed in between him and your brother, a blanket covering the three of you as you squished yourselves in your bed.

As the movie went on, you felt your eyelids getting heavier. You let out a small yawn and rubbed your eyes, the sound of the people talking on the screen making you feel drowsy instead of stopping you from sleeping.

Iwaizumi, who had noticed the way your head was swaying from side to side, gently took the half empty bowl of popcorn from your hold and wiped your fingers with a baby wipe. He then carefully guided your head to rest on his shoulder before refocusing his attention on the movie.

When you woke up, the room was silent. The television was already turned off and the lamp was already turned on. You looked beside you and noticed that the spaces beside your bed were already empty, reminding you that you must've fallen asleep and Iwaizumi and Tooru must've transfered to their rooms already.

Feeling your throat demanding for some water, you slid off your bed and made your way towards the kitchen. As you grabbed the glass, you almost dropped it upon seeing a reflection of a man behind you.

"You scared me," you whispered into the quietness as you came face to face with your brother's bestfriend.

He chuckled and ruffled your hair before grabbing himself his own glass, eyes staring at you as he downed the water within seconds. "Sorry. I didn't expect you to wake up since you always sleep like a log," he said with a grin.

You lightly smacked his chest, your cheeks heating up as you felt his hard muscles, no doubt the results of playing his sport.

A small growl coming from your stomach suddenly disturbed the silence, Iwaizumi's laugh immediately booming throughout the kitchen as you blushed in embarrassment. "Shut up. I only ate popcorn, you know?"

Shaking his head with a small smile, Iwaizumi pointed at the stool before saying, "Go sit. I'll whip you up something to eat."

You immediately obliged and couldn't stop yourself from smiling as you admired his back while he cooked. "Neh, Haji," you called out.

"Hm?" he hummed, throwing a quick glance at you.

"Do you like someone?"

You knew that asking such question was bold of you, especially when neither of you totally expected it. You didn't even know how the words managed to get out of your lips. All you knew was that if there was a perfect time to confess, it would be now.

After all, with your brother enjoying his time in dream land, nobody would disturb the both of you. It was serene, and you hoped that the outcome would be just as serene as the moment.

"Where's this coming from? Is this your way of trying to confess to me?" Iwaizumi said with a chuckle.

"And what if it is? What are you going to do?" You bit your lower lip anxiously as you waited for his reply.

But instead of embracing you and confessing his feelings too just like you expected, you were greeted with the seriousness of Iwaizumi when he spun around. He walked over to you and and placed the freshly cooked Omirice infront of you.

"Then I'd have to reject you," he answered simply, his voice sounding as if the topic wasn't up for any discussion.

"Why? Is it because I'm Tooru's sibling?" You frowned at him and crossed your arms over your chest. "You know that wouldn't change anything if you date me, right? You'd still be Tooru's bestfriend."

"I already said I'd reject you. That's it, end of discussion." With that, he turned his back on you and made his way out of the kitchen.

But before he can even completely walk out on you, you grabbed his wrist to stop him. "But I like you, Haji. I always have.." You voice seemed tiny all of a sudden and your grip on his wrist tightened instinctively when you felt him removing your grip easily with his free hand.

"I'm sorry but I don't like you, y/n. Now, let go and stop with your delusions because no matter what you do, I'll never like you."

You felt your heart shatter at those words, tears quickly streaming down your cheeks as you watched him walk away, leaving you all alone in the now empty kitchen.

Guess you don't always get what you want, huh?

The rest of the weekend, you did your best avoiding Iwaizumi to make sure that you don't make him uncomfortable. You made sure to stay cooped up in your room until you were certain that Iwaizumi had already left. Heck, you even rejected your brother's offer when he asked if you wanted to go meet up with rest of the boys at the mall.

You knew that Tooru wasn't unaware that something happened since you've never rejected any offer when it comes to shopping. But even if he did, he sure stayed quiet about it and gave you space which you were thankful for.

A week rolled by and Iwaizumi was starting to get antsy. His spikes were not as good and his movements were too sloppy to the point that their coach had to sub him out during one of their practice games.

As he sat on the bench, his mind went back to the time he rejected you. Back then, he was sure that he did the right decision. He was a third year and you were only in your second year. Not only would it seem that he was after some kid, he would also look like an asshole who only befriended Oikawa for his sibling.

But that was before.

Now, he wasn't so sure anymore. He missed your affection towards him and the way you cared for him. He missed how you often visit their practice and give him first his water bottle instead of Tooru. He missed your playful banter and the way you irritate him by simply joining forces with your brother.

Fuck, he missed you.

And the way he only realized it now made it even worse.

Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration, and when he saw someone handling him a water bottle, he instantly lifted his head up expecting to see you. Except it wasn't you, it was Tooru.

He mumbled a small "Thanks," before sighing evidently, making Tooru raise a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Just what happend between you and y/n?"

Seeing the panic on Iwaizumi's expression, Tooru just rolled his eyes. "Don't even try denying it, Iwa-chan. I'm not that stupid, you know? Y/n's basically isolating themselves inside their room as if they're scared that you might visit anytime and you.. your play sucks that even Makki and Matsun noticed it."

"Didn't have to remind me," Iwaizumi grunted.

"Hmm," Tooru pressed a finger to his chin as if he was thinking, eyes slightly widening as he remembered something. "Is it because they finally confessed to you?"

"How did you-"

"Oh it's simple! I heard my dearest sibling practicing their confession several times before you came last Saturday. I didn't expect them to confess that early though. The confession sounded too plain for my liking," Tooru said with a hum.

Iwaizumi could only look at him with parted lips. How come Tooru seemed unbothered by the thought of you confessing? Wasn't he supposed to act like a protective brother?

Noticing the way Iwaizumi was staring at him, Tooru pouted. "What're you looking at, Iwa-chan? You're not thinking of dating me instead, are you?"

"Dumbass. I'm thinking why you seem too relaxed at the idea of your sibling confessing to me," Iwaizumi said, hitting the back of Tooru's head.

"Eh? Why? Did you expect me to go apeshit on you?" Tooru chuckled. "Don't worry Iwa-chan, I completely approve of you dating them! Just don't try to hurt their feelings or I'll be mad for sure!"

"But I already rejected them." Iwaizumi groaned and rested his head against his palm out of frustration.

Tooru, who seemed to gain sympathy at his partner, patted his back and said, "Then we'll just have to do something about it, don't we?"

-

When you arrived home, the house was eerily quite. The lights were all off making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. You knew how much Tooru hated coming home with the lights off so you always made sure to leave it on in case you arrive later than him.

"Tooru?" you called out as you switched the lights on. You surveyed the whole living room and kitchen but your brother was nowhere to be found.

Shrugging your shoulders, you went up to your room and almost screamed at the sight of a man sitting on top of your bed, a bouquet of flowers in hand along with a bunny stuffed toy.

"Why do you always have to scare the shit out of me? I swear one of these days, I'll die of heart attack because of you," you scolded as you closed the door behind you. You discarded your bag on the couch and stood in front of Iwaizumi with your arms crossed over your chest. "What's all this about?"

Scratching the back of his head, Iwaizumi spared a quick glance at your wardrobe before sighing. "They're um... They're for you." He handed you the flowers and the bunny, eyes watching you warily as you smelled the pink roses.

You weren't unaware of what was happening. You always witness these kinds of things but since you were still hurt about what he said, you decided that you wouldn't give in to him that easily.

"Thank you," you answered dryly before placing the roses on top of your study desk.

Iwaizumi cannot help but panic because of this. Have you already decided that you no longer like him? What if you already got yourself a boyfriend? His thoughts started running wild inside his head and it was only when you touched his shoulder that he was brought back to the reality.

"Sorry...I," Iwaizumi fisted his hands on his sides before continuing. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, y/n. I didn't want to reject you. I actually like you but I got scared. I mean, you're Oikawa Y/n, my bestfriend's sibling. I didn't want you to think that I was only friends with your brother because I like you. In the end, I hurt you and god knows how stupid I am for doing such thing."

By this time, Iwaizumi's eyes were closed, afraid of looking at your reaction. He was even biting his lips and if not for the seriousness of the moment, you would've took a picture of his adorableness.

"I guess an apologizing Haji, is a cute Haji," you said with a smile making his eyes open.

"Shut up," he said shyly with the tips of his ears turning red. "I'm being serious, you know?"

"And I'm being serious as well. I'm not kidding when I said you're being cute right now," you said, continuing to tease him.

"Y/n."

You giggled at the warning in his tone. "Alright, alright. 'm sorry." You took his hand in yours and gave it a small squeeze before lifting your gaze up to him, all signs of goofiness now vanishing from your face and replaced with honesty and admiration. "I like you too, Haji. I still do."

"Shit." Iwaizumi smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, his strong arms lifting you off the ground out of happiness.

You squealed as you were lifted and you encircled your arms around his neck to cling to him.

"Gosh, Iwa-chan! My sister said she likes you too and the first thing you say is shit?!" Tooru said as he revealed his presence, his hand rubbing his back at the ache for staying too long in the cramped closet.

You gave Iwaizumi a few taps on his back which he immediately understood. He placed you down and grinned as he watched you taking your brother out of your room by pulling at his ear.

"Ouch, y/n-chan! Iwa-chan, help me!"

Iwaizumi just chuckled as the door infront of him slammed shut, the shouts of Tooru as you hit him bringing a sense of satisfaction to Iwaizumi.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

[shana-reviews-tmblr]

*cracks knuckles*

Strap yourselves in folks cause have I got some stories for you!

In order of apperance:

Tooncritic

ForNoGoodReason

YugiBrony <- Correction: This is VidaPony

StarGiantProductions

Lioconvoy

and finally, Zena and Poppy

Toon is self-explanatory BUT it should be noted and made aware that Lily had a grudge with him WAY before his notorious actions were made to light. Toon actually called out Lily for her more aggressive attitude and told her in a tweet (which she showed in a video) about how "Violence begets more violence" to which Lily mocked in a nasally voice.

So, lily using Toon in this is her acting as if their 1-time beef was an accomplishment of hers.

FNGR, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I kinda get. I use to watch his videos on Lily but good lord they do not age well and are actually Transphobic with how they use Lily's old puppet with a 5 o clock shadow, if I remember right FNGR never brought up her identity, but the images and their use did not age well and actually do make me wonder if he is transphobic or has that very out dated mentality of "this person is bad so they don't deserve fair treatment".

either way this is Lily's beef with him, which i get. though as far as him self-destructing, I think he's still making videos up to now so idk?

Vidapony I have the least knowledge on so i won't say anything.

Star Giant has a whole ass video on her that you can check out on youtube, but long story short this woman has issues and Lily's only beef with her was that Star made 3 to 5 3hr videos on Lily that were just rambles, Star self-destructed because they did some shitty stuff that deserved being called out.

Lio convoy is hilarious because guess what, when Toon's actions were revealed Lio made a video on it and one of them that mentions Lily HE ACTUALLY AGREED WITH HER

When Lily slandered Josh and the others claiming they knew about Toon, Lio bought the lie and mentioned how she was right, Lily is basically putting him here on her meme because Patchwork actually became friends with Lio, that's it. she had no interactions with hiim from my knowledge and the only time he mentioned her was during the tooncritic stuff, WHERE HE AGREED WITH HER. lol

lastly is Zena and Poppy both of whom were vocal about Lily's actions, but sadly have fallen out of favor with a lot of people who opened up to them about their experience with Lily when on twitter they asked Lily for a truce. but I'm pretty sure there's more to the story than I know outside of Courtney's falling out with them.

so yeah, that's who is on Lily's list here and her reasons for thinking she contributed to their self-destruction or that their self-destruction was after trying to milk off hating her is all inside that big empty head of hers

Toon had 1 beef with her on twitter

FNGR is the only one i can legit see her reason for hating him, but he's still doing content

Vidapony I have no knowledge of

Star was because of her many videos on Lily and her own shitty heinous actions to other people that Lily was not involved in.

Lio, because patchwork was friends with him, but his own issues caused his inner circle to break up

and Zena and Poppy cause they were the last people before Ant, Crim, and Sai came into Lily's spotlight, who called out Lily for what she did to people (though in Ant and the others case they called out Lily's questionable Media literacy)

Lily just can't help but needing to feel like she pwned people to make herself seem indestructible.

and hey Lily if you are some cursed artifact, which explains the negative vibes your soul spews,

then I would say Ant, Crim, Sai, and Joon are all like THIS guy:

who is an expert in dealing with dark magic and dispelling evil spirits

Who the fuck are these people? (Is that meant to be Joshscorcher? He's uh still postin with, about the same views as you've been gettin?)

And uh lily... uh idk how to tell you but uh you fucked up this meme... your supposed to uh show who is behind the next door

Why don't you wanna show that person :3 ??