#i have a lot of characters who are kind of like miserable little loner bitches

[system-architect]

i've been getting heavily back into gw2 RP lately and i've noticed an increasing amount of gw2 rp events popping up, so i wanna give some unsolicited advice that has helped me grow as a roleplayer + have More Fun roleplaying, in the hopes it helps spark that in other folks too:

1 - follow the "yes, and" rule of improv! RP is all improv! "yes, and" basically means accepting/listening to what your improv partner has said, and then building on it. in a roleplay setting, this can mean having yourself + your character consider and internalize what the other person has said, and then building off of it with their own dialogue/reaction/proposal/etc. it does not mean agreeing with the other character, it means trying to not let the scene die right there even if your character would ordinarily do something like just walk off or ignore the other person.

you sometimes have to force your character to be ever-so-slightly ooc in order to do "yes, and", but it is SUPER worth it. RP is often like you and your partner laying out a series of little tom and jerry mousetraps full of lore and character development and conflict for the other person to step in. try ur best to both step in them and also keep laying them out for the other person, and you will have fun!

2 - fully allow your character to be stupid, embarrassing, make incorrect assumptions, get into trouble, get in over their head, be outmatched, have too much confidence, bite off more than they can chew, and generally fail at things. you can still have a "cool" character in spite of all of these things-- but failure can be fun, and helps make interactions more realistic

2a - relatedly, at all costs, avoid seeing RP as a 'game' that can be 'won' by either character or player. this one should be obvious, but a lot of people behave like this reflexively especially if they're worried about the 'coolness' or 'power level' of their character becoming compromised, so it's good to be aware of. this can kill people's desire to RP with you very very quickly

3 - be aware that your character will, or should!!, grow and change over time as you write and rp them more. if you're sitting there thinking through your next emote and you get a wild idea in your head, or you look at what you just hit enter on and thought "wow, they're acting kind of different, is this too OOC"... consider for a second if it's just a new, unexpected Thing about your character surfacing due to the rp! seeing your little brain guy evolve from a couple paragraph backstory pitch into a fully fleshed out person full of surprises is part of the fun! embrace it! ...and if it IS too much, you can always try to fix it in future rps haha

4 - last, but not least... COMMUNICATE! get to know your partner and their visions for their characters, and their inspirations, the types of stories they like, and so on. make sure you have a firm idea of the sorts of boundaries you want to lay out in your RP-- are either of you cool with injuries, your characters knowing secret backstory details about each other, romance/flirting, lore bending/breaking, and so on! don't be afraid to ask them in party chat before you hit send on something if it feels like it pushes a line, and absolutely bring up any cool ideas you get, too!

[sepublic]

Lilith Can’t Decide

           Once again I have latched onto yet another song that I feel describes Lilith; Specifically, I Can’t Decide by Scissor Sisters! It’s not exactly a one-to-one match, but I think it works well as a metaphor for a young Lilith deciding whether or not she should curse her little sister Eda, juggling with her genuine love and desire to be with Eda, and balancing that with her resentment at being left behind, at being constantly outdone, thinking her own dream is being taken away from her… OR, it could be a Dark AU/development on Lilith’s character, a version of her that just spirals into a descent of further toxicity and co-dependency towards Eda. Looking at the lyrics;

It's not easy having yourself a good time Greasing up those bets and betters Watching out they don't four-letter F*ck and kiss you both at the same time Smells like something I've forgotten Curled up died and now it's rotten

           I doubt Lilith was a happy person, at least not without Eda- She didn’t seem to have a whole lot of self-confidence, and in the present-day, seems rather clingy to her sister. I wouldn’t be shocked if Eda was Lilith’s only friend… And in this one photo we see of Eda and a childhood friend, Lilith is in the background, looking unhappy and possibly jealous. Coupled with insecurity at not feeling good enough, being attached to Eda and maybe even dependent upon her for a sense of validation; And it’s not easy for Lilith to feel good about herself, to be happy, to have fun… Not when she’s always stressing over joining the Emperor’s Coven. Lilith has lost so many times that she can’t just take joy in playing the game- For once, she wants to actually win. And she’s no doubt lost many bets and challenges with Eda over the years…

           Now, F*ck in this scenario is not literal, for obvious reasons… In this case, it could be interpreted as ‘screwing someone over’, AKA causing trouble for Eda, while at the same time smothering her with sisterly kisses; Lilith loves Eda, but she’s also about to cause her little sister a WHOLE lot of trouble and basically ruin the rest of her life, while also shortening it. Not that Lilith realizes this- She thinks the curse will only be weakened magic for a day. But even so, she’s cheating Eda out of her spot in the Emperor’s Coven- Even if Lilith thinks that Eda will probably make it in later anyway because she’s THAT talented.

           “Smells like something I’ve forgotten” could easily allude to Lilith not paying attention, not really considering the consequences of the curse… And it could be Lilith choosing to ignore Eda’s dilemma when she IS cursed and transforms the next day, instead focusing on her spot in the Emperor’s Coven. Lilith has basically forgotten her sister, about her love for her- She’s neglected to take care of her bond with Eda, and now it’s curled up and died, become rotten. It’s imagery that invokes the skeleton in the closet, which applies well to Lilith cursing Eda and constantly being reminded that she did so, in the back of her head…

I'm not a gangster tonight Don't wanna be a bad guy I'm just a loner baby And now you've gotten in my way

           Lilith insists to herself, she believes she’s not a bad person- She wants to join the prestigious Emperor’s Coven that enforces law and order… She’s only doing what her idol Emperor Belos would do, in HER situation! And she’s not even wrong about that latter point. Lilith doesn’t want to curse Eda, she doesn’t want to be a bad person… But she’s lonely and she wants validation from the Emperor’s Coven, and Lilith knows that Eda would do better without that coven, than Lilith herself. Lilith feels alone, like she has no support, like her own sister Eda isn’t helping her and is instead throwing Lilith under the bus to join the Emperor’s Coven…

          And now Eda’s gotten in the way of Lilith’s dreams, of Lilith’s idea of them being in the coven together; Because to her, Eda will surely always be able to join another time (that’s what she clearly believes as an adult), so really this is just a matter of whether or not Lilith will be by her side. Lilith is essentially victim-blaming Eda in this scenario, and Eda has no idea; And Lilith is absolving herself of guilt and blame by claiming that she had no other choice, that she takes no joy in this, and so forth. But as we see, with how Lilith sometimes taunts Eda about the curse and her age- Lilith DID take some joy in this, and she was the bad guy. Her arc involved finally recognizing this and making a change.

          But right now; She comes to a moment of accusatory, blaming conviction at Eda, as she begins to make her decision…

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

           In this case, “Live or die” is a metaphor for Lilith deciding whether or not to curse Eda. Lilith is assuaging her concerns and dismissing them by insisting to herself that Eda will be just fine without her, that Eda will be fine afterwards… Sure, Eda won’t make it into the Emperor’s Coven now- But she’s skilled enough to have other chances! Lilith doesn’t have that, and even if Eda never made it into the Emperor’s Coven… She’s so talented and amazing (and Lilith genuinely believes this) that Lilith is sure Eda will make her way in life regardless! Eda can excel at whatever she chooses, but Lilith… The Emperor’s Coven is the ONLY option she has to feel worthwhile. Whatever happens to Eda, Lilith assures her it’ll be all right; But she’s also disregarding Eda’s genuine grief with the system in some ways, at the unfairness of it all… Lilith is silencing Eda’s pain and blocking it out in order to justify what she’s done/is about to do.

           And Lilith… She no doubt is thinking about how she IS dead inside, how she’s resigned to this level of self-loathing. And deep-down she wonders if she’s actually a monster who doesn’t actually feel love, and that’s why she’s okay with this; And that allusion to petrification takes on another meaning with what almost happened to Eda, as a result of her capture by Lilith at the end of Season 1. Does Lilith think she should’ve been petrified- Does she think petrification would’ve matched on the outside, what she already was within? No wonder she’s miserable, if Lilith is willing to betray her own sister like this; No wonder she’s in such despair, having just committed this kind of guilty sin and treachery. To even think and consider this means Lilith is a terrible person- And this realization makes her feel depressed and dead inside as the guilt of who she is haunts her for the rest of her life.

          In the end, Lilith is locking the doors and closing the blinds as she prepares to go out to the Night Market for that curse… And yes, her and Eda WILL be in quite the ride, for the rest of their lives when the curse unveils itself the next day.

It's a bitch convincing people to like you If I stop now call me a quitter If lies were cats you'd be a litter Pleasing everyone isn't like you Dancing jigs until I'm crippled Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

           The first line could be Lilith talking about how hard it is to be loved… How she thinks of herself as a loser, and joining the Emperor’s Coven means approval from both the Emperor AND the Isles as a whole. It means Lilith becoming a role model that’s admired by kids like her, all across the Boiling Isles… Lilith wants to be recognized and appreciated, but that’s just hard for her on multiple levels.

           Or… It’s Lilith talking to EDA, complaining about how hard it is to look after Eda, to provide for her; To convince others that despite Eda’s trouble, she’s worth the time of day! I can see Lilith vouching for Eda several times, working to do damage-control whenever Eda got in trouble, trying to insist to others that her little sister really IS a good person… And as an adult, Lilith has to explain to Belos that Eda doesn’t deserve to be petrified, she’s actually an amazing witch with so much potential, who’d do way better as a member of his coven than as a statue! She’s vouching for Eda to the Emperor’s Coven, and she feels like Eda isn’t appreciating her efforts; And Lilith feels like she’s beginning to jeopardize herself as well, what with Kikimora questioning her biases.

           If Lilith just gives up now, the system would no doubt dismiss her as a quitter; And it could be an angry jab at Eda’s support for quitting, as see with her Quitter’s Badge as an adult. The competitive nature of the coven system means that to Lilith, she doesn’t want to ‘quit’, she doesn’t want to lose- And on the flipside… If Lilith stops trying to vouch for Eda as an adult, Eda would no doubt accuse her of not taking care of her own sister, of being a traitor. Either way, Lilith feels like her efforts aren’t being appreciated and acknowledged, and that if she were to stop, she’d be ridiculed. Lilith also accuses Eda of lies… Does she accuse Eda of lying to her about being by her side; About going into the Emperor’s Coven together, as they planned?

           Does Lilith think of Eda as a liar, whenever Eda pretends to approach her on good terms, only to rebuke her; Like at the end of Covention, or when Luz-Eda seemingly got captured to join the Emperor’s Coven, and then changed her mind? Or is this Lilith talking to herself- Because of all the lies she tells herself and others, about how it’s all fine… That she doesn’t know who cursed Eda, that this for her and everyone else’s own good, and that the Emperor’s Coven is a just and noble cause. The biggest lie of all to Lilith, is that she’s happy. Regardless, Lilith also laments about how Eda doesn’t care for pleasing others, that she doesn’t intend to conform- It’s distinctive and characteristic of her sister, to Lilith’s chagrin, because it causes issues… And to Lilith, Eda doesn’t make HER happy by compromising, by going into the Emperor’s Coven- She’s always causing trouble because she just has to, she can never make things easy and makes it so hard to love Eda…

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry

           Yet for all of Lilith’s resentment and jealousy towards Eda; She knows that Eda deserves this more than her. She admits that Eda always worked harder, that she was always more passionate and smarter about everything. The Coven System is easy to justify when it places you on top, because it’s a meritocracy- And now Lilith has to begrudgingly acknowledge that if Eda is doing better, then according to the system, it’s because Eda IS better. Sure, Eda sometimes cheats- But by the end of the day, cheating or not, as shown in Wing it like Witches… Eda will always be superior.

           As for the truth- Lilith is always in denial of reality. Eda says she’ll never join the Emperor’s Coven as an adult, yet Lilith is so certain that Eda secretly wants to, or will eventually change her mind. Likewise, Lilith’s insecurity leads her to believe things that aren’t true- It makes Lilith think Eda doesn’t actually care about her, would throw her under the bus to join the Emperor’s Coven… So Lilith is so incredibly blind-sided by the reality that Eda would never do this. Lilith doesn’t want to admit that she’s wrong and it’s all for naught- So the truth is secretly a lie to her.

           And now… Now Eda’s made her angry. Eda’s taking away this dream from Lilith by being so much better… She’s made Lilith’s curse unnecessary by refusing to duel, making Lilith feel like a fool; And in Agony of a Witch, Eda makes Lilith so angry and bitter, that she confesses to the curse in a brief fit of spite.

           (Cue repeat lyrics)

Oh, I could throw you in the lake Or feed you poisoned birthday cake I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone Oh, I could bury you alive But you might crawl out with a knife And kill me when I'm sleeping That's why

           These different methods of murder can serve as a metaphor for Lilith deciding how to sabotage Eda, how to cheat her way to victory. Lilith is going to miss her bond with Eda, because she knows that she’s about to jeopardize and sabotage it, potentially irreparably; Either way, Lilith is saying goodbye to those innocent times with Eda, to that guiltless friendship… And Lilith is saying goodbye to an un-cursed Eda, and innocent one who was never betrayed. She DOES miss Eda, and she will- She takes no pleasure in this! Lilith will make sure to tenderly remember Eda, that she does appreciate what Eda did for her, and will use her contributions and ‘sacrifice’ to achieve well as Head of the Emperor’s Coven…

           But Lilith knows and fears retribution from Eda. When Eda finds out about the curse… Or in general, Eda’s justified anger at Lilith forsaking her for the Emperor’s Coven, for continuing to support a corrupt organization. For ignoring what the coven system has done to Eda and so many others; It’s the guilt and potential for retribution that haunts Lilith and scares her. It’s the unexpected consequences of what she’s done- Which become the unexpected side-effects of the curse… Because Lilith makes so many mistakes believing that the effects won’t be as severe as they actually turn out to be; Such as by losing Amity’s respect by placing that power glyph, or inciting Luz’s anger at her after Lilith completely forgot about the girl.

          And that imagery of being attacked in one’s sleep is certainly ironic, considering how Lilith ended up cursing Eda… And how fitting is then, that Lilith herself becomes cursed like Eda, and is now going to live life in her shoes, as a fellow outcast and criminal from the Emperor’s Coven! Lilith will sell trash, struggle to get elixir… But she’ll also taste freedom and meet people like Luz and King. Lilith will understand what Eda went through, how she suffered- But also how Eda became so much happier away from the system… Lilith is going to see life through Eda’s eyes, appreciate Eda’s decisions, and no longer blame her for them- And she’ll soon agree and even provide support for Eda’s choices, and want to participate in that life, to get back into that family and connection.

           (Cue repeat lyrics- And that’s end of the song!)

           In the end, we know what decision Lilith made. We see the indecisiveness, but eventually she does it… And she regrets it. The consequences DO come back to haunt her, and it’s why Lilith can’t trust herself to make any decisions- Because she knows that her judgment is flawed and she’ll always screw up, even when she doesn’t mean to. Perhaps Lilith will feel like she’s affirming the judgment and doubt of others, as well as herself… We know the rest of the story and how it plays out, this is all just lamentable history. What’s done is done, and Lilith knows both then and now that she’s so sad and pathetic for even being at this crossroads, for not even having the confidence to make a decisive choice- And it’s humiliating and embarrassing and frustrating, all the same. She wishes she had the conviction of Belos, or Eda… But she just doesn’t mean.

           But… at the Owl House, maybe Lilith WILL get that conviction. She’s now making the choice to help Eda and change- So for once, Lilith might get some agency and initiative in life, and learn to control her own circumstances… And to make her OWN destiny, as Eda always advised! Lilith can own up what’s happened to her and do something about it, get a say of what goes on, and who she is- She can overcome this song of helpless indecision, this song lamenting that the narrator has even come to this point in life; It’s sad that Lilith even reached this kind of choice because of her own poor decisions… But at least now, she can finally move on and get to a better place. There was a hilarity in despair, but now Lilith can actually laugh in relief and happiness for once.

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Dreams of Indigo (C.2)

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Non Binary Reader (can be read as Male Reader)

Word Count: 

Warnings: Use of He/They pronouns, lots of swearing, mentions of bully, angst? edginess (i hope not)  self mutilation/injury (not cutting) hurtful words, revenge.

If you'd like to avoid the self inflicted injury it comes after the huge space at the end of this chapter. Leave a comment and let me know if you'd like me to do a recap without the injury at the beginning of the next Chapter

Storyline: Reader is a teenage vigilante basically. Unlike the main characters Y/N doesn’t attend UA and somehow seems to keep finding themself in the company of the LOV but they’re not a villain. Call him a vigilante or an anti-hero whatever, just don’t call them a villain.

A/N: This is Chapter Two of the series. I know not many on tumblr are reading but I like this story and want to update. Sorry if anyone was actually waiting for me to update. I got caught up and forgot to finish the chapter. Shoot me any questions, my inbox is open to anything but requests as of now. This is cross posted on wattpad (@that-bi-bitch-writes) and Quotev (@DumbEnbyJuice)

Teaser  Character Info  Prologue  Ch.1  Ch.2 Ch.3

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It started with an interruption of what can be argued as the greatest dream of the century. There you were contently snuggling up to one of your MANY pillows with your cat curled up on the edge of the bed. The only thing that could cause you any sort of stress is if you were to 

“WAKE UP!!!” 

“I’m not gonna say it again Y/n, I know you heard me calling you?? WAKE UP! It’s your birthday”

‘I heard you calling’ you thought ‘but I don’t see the point in waking up early, it's my birthday. Why would I be excited to go to that hellhole on the one day that’s supposed to be all about me?’

“Yeah yeah I heard you, I’ll be out in a minute” you called back

Your birthday wasn’t exactly always a bad thing. Up until you were five you really liked celebrating your bday. But you didn’t get a quirk. Now you’re in the fourth grade with no definitive friend group, no quirk and what feels like nothing to celebrate. But your mom still enjoys your birthday. 

SO you have to put on a smile, do a little twirl, sit there through the embarrassing rendition of happy birthday from your family members. And then it’s back to being alone. You have to go back to school where you’re not celebrated and you have to cope with the fact that another year has gone by with no signs of a quirk and an even slimmer chance that the bullying will end. But things will change. You’re gonna change them. First you have to make it through the day alive

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Okay, so maybe making it through most of the day wasn’t as hard as you thought. Your teacher quietly wished you a happy birthday before class started, so the class wouldn’t descend into chaos. It’s very hard to keep 9 and 10 year olds focused on someone’s birthday. But whatever, the day seemed like it was gonna go smoothly

Despite the chaos of this morning your mom actually didn’t make too much of a big deal about your birthday and the celebrations were postponed for afterschool. The fake smiles and twirling and off key singing weren’t for another 6 hours, so you got to be a cynical 10 year old for just a little longer. 

‘This bento is a little fancier today’ you thought ‘maybe i should appreciate mom more and she’d do this more often.’ 

For the first time in what felt like forever, you got to enjoy a nice lunch, by yourself, on the roof because for some reason, loners tend to spend their lunches on the roof, even if they are 10 year olds who should be showing off a birthday cupcake, or celebratory mochi or some other sweet. Everything was fine.

The keyword is WAS. Before you could leave school, a certain orange haired bully decided your day was going a little TOO well and it was his job to correct the universe’s error. 

“Hey L/N I heard it was your birthday today. I hope you got to spend the day with your many friends.” he taunted. 

And of course, all bullies have to have a posse so after every “biting” comment he looked to them to make sure they were laughing. For some kind of reassurance and camaraderie that you’d never really had. 

‘That’s really weird but I’m oddly jealous’

“My friends are waiting for me with my family back at home. I’ve gotta go, see you tomorrow bully-chan” you bit back.  Which was probably a huge mistake. The teasing chan mayhaps have set him off. Although none of his comments usually phased you, he took his time to think about the next one as you tried to scurry out of the classroom

“What family L/N? Your mother is always busy at work isn’t she? And I heard that your dad ran away when you were like 3 or something because you hadn’t gotten your quirk.” 

You thought the torment would end there. Forget just thinking, you prayed to whatever god there was that it’d all end with him poking fun at the one weak spot everyone knew you had. Your parents. But he kept going after he saw you subtly tense at the mention of your father. 

Nakamuro Keitaro is not just an everyday bully. He is the son of your mother’s ex best friend who resented your mother for having everything she wanted. A stable career, beauty, a child that seemed to be worth something, and a handsome successful husband. So she poisoned Keitaro against you. It was oddly really effective on her part. She might be an evil genius.

Anyway it wasn’t exactly hard to convince him to hate you especially once it was revealed that you were quirkless. All she had to do was convince him she was the victim in your moms’ fight and give him a little ammo against you. And like the dutiful son he is, he became her attack dog on a very loose leash. 

“Is he ashamed of you?” Keitaro continued  “Was he worried about the rumors people would spread if they found out that a pro hero produced a dud with no quirk and no shot at carrying on his family’s legacy”

Keitaro really knew how to get on your last fucking nerve, and the comments began to hurt. And like hurt does sometimes, it turned to anger. It was your 10th birthday. You were supposed to be stuffing your face with ice cream surrounded by your closest friends. And your father. It wasn’t your fault you were quirkless. It really wasn’t. But it was their fault you were miserable. 

Misery loves company. 

You didn’t know why you said it, and you wish you never did. Because the next words to come out of your mouth revealed something you’d wanted for so long. You had a quirk. But it was the last time you’d ever want to use it again. Well at least not for another three years.

“I heard a rumor you were so insecure not even bullying me could make you happy.” Power thronged off of the words you spat. “So you jumped out of this window and crippled yourself”

If your dad couldn’t love his quirkless child, lets see how Keitaro’s mom loves her crippled one.

[questionablereviews]

Angel’s Egg (1985)

this is the story of a little girl who loves to stay hydrated.

ok, not really.

first of all, if you’re expecting action as in things happening, this is not for you. very few things *happen* and it takes some time so you better be patient. now, is it worth going through 1 hour and 11 minutes of very little shit happening? absolutely yes because the whole visual, the noir ~aesthetic~, everything is really pretty and unique. i mean, it’s yoshitaka amano’s art so even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense it’s still really REALLY beautiful.

so the movie is about a little girl protecting an egg at all costs, wandering around some ghost town, meeting a dude who looks a lot like her and being betrayed by this heartless son of a bitch who breaks her precious egg. she kinda kills herself later idk.

the fact is: i didn’t understand shit. they throw some noah’s ark passages in the middle of it and we’re left believing the ghost-like world they live in went through some kind of deluge. everything died, animals, men and all that shit, and our two characters don’t know who they are, where they are, why they’re there or anything that could help us a bit. there’s this thing that is actually 80% of the action of the movie: some ghost fishermen trying to harpon giant fish shadows. lol damn why y’all so dumb tho. ok laughs aside i spent a good part of the movie actually thinking they lived inside a fishbowl or something. but defitinely at some point they got flooded at least once! omg really this movie barely has a plot.

the peak is when the loner guy breaks the little girl’s egg and when she wakes up and finds her egg broken she cries desperately and jumps off a cliff, finding an older version of her under water and just generally dying, i think? but really when she found her egg cracked and cried i got sad as fuck. maybe because my day was shitty, but i felt really disheartened omg.

but you know, as they say, everyone will find a personal meaning to this even if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. to me this guy was afraid of the bird that could hatch because i don’t know!!!!!! but somehow he prefers to live in this miserable ghost reality over running the risk of having some bird overlord shitting over his head. but you might have totally different impressions, so check it out?

[rabidwrestlingfan]

If You Were Smart

A/N: The wait is over! This was actually a first for me in the aspect of writing a nameless character. I will apologize for my bad case of Wall-Of-Textitis, I can't properly format to save my life. I really hope it's as good as you hoped. I tried my hardest not to change any of the anon sections, but I did have to change the wording of one. -------------------------------------- She had always loved PWG shows. Of course she loved the other promotions she worked with, mainly ROH, as well. There was just something about the Reseda crowd that you couldn't find anywhere else. Her match had started the night, so that left her backstage with an ice pack pressed to her ribs. She had sat through five minutes of Adam Cole's blabbing before she had enough. He thought that he was God's gift to mankind. She thought he was the exact opposite. That was her last thought before she walked out of the curtain. Adam stopped mid-sentence when he seen the woman appear. "Well hello there, beautiful. Come down here to get a better look at a God?" He asked with his signature smirk. Once she was inside the ring, and had a microphone, she laughed. "Actually, I came out here to save the crowd from having to listen to you praise yourself even more. Is it even possible for your ego to get any bigger?" She asked with a smirk of her own. The two had never formally met in or out of the ring. She had always stayed as far away from him as she possibly could. "Are you saying you don't think I deserve the praise, baybay? Is somebody a little jealous that she's not in the spotlight? Sorry to break it to you, but you never have been. You went from a mediocre loner to a mediocre Briscoe sidekick. Only attention you've had is because of your body, princess." He seemed incredibly confident that she'd run off after that. In fact most women probably would have. "Do you regularly regurgitate what you hear backstage, or am I an exception? You could of at least put your own spin on it!" The woman exclaimed with a laugh. It was all things that had been said almost constantly over the last two and a half years. Before he could even try to respond she got an idea. "Why don't you show me just how great you are? Fight me right here and now without your bitch club buddies." Adam chuckled at her words. "Princess, I'm not going to fight you. And before you start the hoorah of being stronger than any man, let me explain. I ain't getting between those gorgeous legs today if you lose. I can't just give out a victory, either. You see my problem?" The woman in question rolled her eyes before getting to work. In mere seconds she had hit him with a solid kick followed by a hurricanrana. "That's the only way you're getting between my legs, handsome." Upon seeing the commotion Nick and Matt made their presence known, running to the ring. Before they could so much as move towards the woman Adam held his hand up. "Boys! She's just playing hard to get. Fiesty little thing, I'll give her that. I guarantee by the end of the night she'll be in my bed." The woman rolled her eyes with a sigh. "I'd rather sleep with Kyle, thanks. I'm just not that into you." Before she could leave the ring she heard it. "That's what they all say, princess." When she finally got to the locker room she felt like she was crawling out of her skin. How could one man be so frustrating? Luckily none of the other women were there to see the tantrum she threw afterwards. Her plans of getting under his skin had totally backfired. Almost against her will she went searching for him. He was leaned against her car when she made her way to the parking lot. "Knew it'd be a matter of time before you came looking." With a growl she pulled him into a rough kiss. Adam let out a huff of laughter once they broke apart. "Still think I'm too cocky, princess?" He whispered against her lips. She kissed his jaw with a sigh. "Please, just shut up." The begging tone in her voice made a smile spread across his face. Before she could continue her decent down his neck he pulled her into another kiss, tongue invading her mouth. Her senses were filled with Adam Cole. Her will to leave growing dimmer as the seconds passed. Without a second thought she pushed his unzipped hoodie from his body, letting it drop to the pavement. She vaguely heard cars door starting to shut, meaning the show was over. It was when she started pushing his shirt up that Adam finally pulled away. "If I let you do that I'll fuck you right here, princess. Get in the car." She followed his orders immediately. Somewhere in her mind she knew it was mistake, but she was too far gone to listen. The first thing she seen when she opened her eyes were her clothes strewn everywhere. There was undoubtedly garments missing from the pile. The woman rolled over gingerly, everything in her body protesting. It had been a rough night. The other side of the bed was empty. With a huff of frustration she grabbed the note lying on the empty pillow. "Didn't want to wake you. Hope you had as much fun as I did. We'll have to do this again real soon, baybay. Left tab open so you could eat. - Adam" The woman read over the note multiple times before sitting up in the bed. Her bags were sitting beside the bathroom door, meaning Adam had brought them up before he left. His mood swings almost gave her whiplash by just thinking about them. One second he was outrageously cocky and the next he was being sweet and kind. She quickly shook the thoughts away before getting up and grabbing her shower essentials. No matter what the numerous hickeys littering her body seemed portray, she knew better. Adam was known for the mob of women he blew through. He had never been a one woman man. She was sure the marks were meant to make her life more miserable. Their parking lot tongue battle had garnered a lot of stares. It got to the point that she had to turn her phone off before they even got to the hotel. She was honestly afraid to turn the device back on. There weren't a ton of people that she trusted, but there were enough that knew this was out of the ordinary. She had never been known to be promiscuous, which had started a lot of rumors. It seemed like everything started rumors though. It took her four hours to turn her phone on. Seven weeks later she was sitting on another hotel room floor with tears streaming down her face. This absolutely could not be happening. The day after the Adam incident she had sprained her wrist during a session of angry training. When that had pretty much cleared up she started traveling with the Briscoes once more, only to immediately get hit with the flu. The last two weeks had been hell. She couldn't keep much down, had horrible dizzy spells, and generally hadn't gotten out of bed unless necessary. All the sleep in the world hadn't seemed to help it in the least. But she had powered through and continued traveling with the argument of definitely needing the paycheck when she was well. That, and knowing she had no one else to watch after her, made the brothers reluctantly surrender the argument. Yet the night before had been the last straw. Jay made it very clear she had twenty-four hours for her condition to improve before he would force her to the hospital. It was a dark realisation that lead her to her current predicament. While she had always been irregular she had never gone this long without a visit from aunt Flo. Without so much as changing out of her pajamas she made her way to the closest pharmacy as fast as possible. About an hour later and here she was. Unable to stop crying with her back against one of the two beds in the room. Of course that's when the door opened. "Well, I'll be damned! Look who fin-" It took Mark a second to see her, and he stopped talking as soon as he did. "What's wrong?" Jay asked before pushing past his brother. Mark was never lost for words and it automatically alarmed the older Briscoe. Jay took in the multiple objects by her feet before his eyes slowly drifted to her. "Oh shit..." He whispered quietly. He knew exactly what was laying next to her. It wasn't a flu. In the flash of an eye the door was closed and the brothers were next to her, bags haphazardly shoved aside. Jay pulled her into his arms tightly as soon as he was next to her on the ground. She had always been closer to him. "I don't know much about this stuff, but I know all these tears ain't good. You can't be all stressed out like this. It's gonna be alright, girl." He told her quietly. Mark quietly sat on her other side and gently rubbed what he could of her back. It was clear once the brothers looked at each other that they were only certain of one thing. They were going to fucking kill Adam Cole. "We'll figure it all out. I promise." It was about two months after their "special night" when he seen her again. She was backstage talking to Dalton Castle. "You're looking nice, princess." Adam told her as he walked past them to the locker room. The Bucks looked both relieved and worried when they seen him. Before he could ask Matt held up a plastic stick. "Know who this could belong to? 'Cause it's not here for either of us, and we're pretty sure it's not for the others." Adam grabbed it and examined it. It was positive. Adam's heart jumped in his chest. This couldn't be real. He didn't know her at all outside the ring. Hell, he barely knew her name. Without another word he flew out of the locker room and back to where he had seen her moments earlier. Paying no mind to the other man, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the nearest empty room he could find. Once they were both inside the closet, and the door was locked he started talking. "Don't worry, Adam. I'm on the pill. Those were your EXACT words." A sad chuckle escaped her lips when he spoke. "You really think I was looking to get knocked up by a pretentious asshole? I'd die before I crossed that line." It was nearly impossible to look at anything but each other in the cramped space. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around her midsection, like she was protecting herself. "Nobody even has to know it's yours. I just thought you deserved to know before it got obvious." He didn't tell her he wasn't the one who found the test. "So you're keeping it?" He asked bluntly. The woman tightened her grip on herself before responding. "Yeah, in fact I am. Nothing you can say that's going to change that." She peered up at him almost as if she was daring him to protest. He ran his hand down his face with a sigh. "You really think no one's going to expect something. Bucks found the test and I just pulled you away from Castle like you were on fire. Besides everyone seen you basically undress me in the parking lot that night." The woman couldn't help but laugh at his words. "You know you could at least pretend to care about YOUR child. But since you're so worried about your reputation, and getting your dick wet, I'll let you in on a secret." She stood on her tip toes to whisper in his ear before speaking once more. "I kinda valet for these guys, you should know them. The Briscoes. Well Jay has already agreed to publicly tell everyone it's his to help me out." Adam's eyes grew wide. Of all people it had to be Jay. Once she was flat on her feet again she seen the look of shock on his face. "Jay would rather die then do anything to remotely help me. Was our romp just to make the big hick mad? Have you been sucking his dick this whole time?" Anger filled every vein in her body. Jay and Mark had basically saved her career when she started giving up on herself. Her knee abruptly connected with his groin, fists hammering on his back as he went to his knees. "How dare you!" She yelled as she continued swinging. She couldn't be happier Adam had taken them so far away from the main hubbub backstage. If he hadn't someone surly would have bust in upon hearing the literal growls leaving her throat. Suddenly her hands were caught in his bigger ones, wrists twisted just enough to cause a twinge of pain. "You're lucky you're knocked up. Bet your good ol' country boy was just crushed when he found out I was the one who got the job done. Has he ever made you feel as good as I did that night?" She knew there was no way to break his grasp in the position, and small space, they were in. With anger still buzzing around her body she went with her instincts and spit in his hair. He let out a groan of disgust before getting back to his feet. "Is it really my kid? Or is all this just something elaborate to get in my head? Are you even pregnant, princess?" He asked with a sneer. The anger was starting to shine in his blue eyes. When he didn't immediately get a response he chuckled. "Why don't you go ask Jay and Mark? Or better yet go ask Dalton, who found me crying after I left the test. I'd never stoop to your level to get in your head. I didn't even do that when I was in the ring with you." She could have gotten that match with him if she really tried. Instead she tried to work up to that point, which obviously backfired. "All of my hard work is put on hold. All my momentum vanished when I told the higher ups I was pregnant earlier." Somewhere deep inside he felt a slight twinge of guilt upon hearing her last words. Any future she had in wrestling was, at the very least, temporarily uprooted. It was everything else that made him open his mouth. "This isn't all on me even if it is my kid. It was a joint decision to go on after the condom broke." He justified harshly. The woman sneered at him. "It IS your kid. You're the only person I've slept with in the last five months, asshole. I never expressly said it was either our faults, but it's happening whether you like it or not." After a solid minute of tense silence Adam let her hands go. She instantly covered her midsection once more, only this time he realized what she was doing. "You really think I'm that fucked up, princess?" The sour look on his face helped voice his displeasure at the thought. "Everyone handles stress differently. You'd be surprised." The woman answered timidly. He pried her arms apart and set them against her sides. What had she been through that made her expect him to attack? "Well, I don't deal with it like that." It hurt that this woman automatically thought he'd swing on her. Even if he absolutely despised children he couldn't imagine doing THAT. "What's the plan?" The woman felt like it was a loaded question. "If you decide to walk out? Whenever I tell everyone I'll tell them it's Jay's. Then I do what I can to take care of me and my child. I mean you didn't have a hard time believing I was sleeping with him. I'm sure he'll be there for all the milestones anyways, so that helps with keeping up appearances. If you decide you want to help, we'll tell everyone the news and go from there." She answered truthfully. They were complete strangers thrust into a messed up situation. Adam voiced the first thought he had. "You've always seemed closer to Jay. And you always room with them." The way he said it sounded so judgemental that she had to restrain from hitting him again. "I met him first. This girl's friends tried coming after me in the ring and he saved my ass. We just clicked after that. I love Mark too, don't get me wrong, but Jay's always been the first one there when I need anything. They're the older brothers I never knew I wanted or needed. Rooming with them makes since when you think about it. I don't have to chance anyone messing with my shit, and I get to hang out with my best friends." She didn't know what made her feel the intense need to explain the situation. The hatred between Jay and Adam was something she knew would never end. While she was trying to stay on good terms with Adam she wasn't going to let him drag her family in the dirt. It was seconds later that she felt her phone vibrating wildly in her pocket. "You have a month to think things over, Cole." Her eyes met his before she spoke once more. "Every kid deserves a dad. I know most who don't have one end up find. But some of them... some of them accidentally end up in bed with a stranger." Just like that she was gone. Later that night Adam found himself stepping outside. He needed the fresh air to help clear his mind before his match. He didn't know he wasn't alone. "If you were smart, you'd take the out my brother gave you. It's the only thing you'll ever get from him." A voice that was undeniably the younger Briscoe said. He was leaning against a wall looking at the sky, shadowed in the fading light. "Is this supposed to intimidate me?" Adam asked with a laugh. He should have known something like this would happen. "It's supposed to remind you that you're dealing with other people's lives. She doesn't need to constantly worry about WHEN you'll be tired of being a dad. That baby shouldn't grow up not knowing who it's dad will bring home next. Let Jay take the fall for your stupidity and let us clean up the mess. If you were smart you'd back away." Adam couldn't even respond before Matt was sticking his head out of the door telling him they were almost up. "Be smart." Was the last thing he heard before entering the building with even more questions.

[lostinafictionaluniverse]

Riverdale 1 x07 thoughts

Starts with Jughead’s dream - seemingly perfect family with everyone fake smiling, and Juggie’s bewildered expression through all of this to kinda indicate that maybe he thought it was too good to be true? Interesting though that he wants his family to come together so bad, yet he dreams of being part of another (Betty’s) who he knows is not perfect either. Does that mean deep down that he’s given up on his family? That the only way for him to be happy would be if he were with another family? Which is what happens at the end of the episode, he ends up living with Archie! So was the beginning meant to bookend the end? Its also evident that he feels guilty about stabbing Archie in the back, presumably because he’s married to Betty in the dream. Why does he feel that? He knows Archie doesn’t feel that way about Betty. Betty did have feelings for Archie but she’s obviously getting over them, since she’s willing to move on with him. Why the guilt? Okay, Archie wasn’t exactly over the moon when he found out about bughead, but Jughead already sensed that he wouldn’t be and I wonder where that’s coming from?

The next scene with Juggie waking up in the closet under the stairs, a clever reference to Harry Potter, which is surprisingly not misplaced. Since Harry had a miserable life till Hogwarts came along and Juggie’s having a miserable life now until his friends - Archie and Betty come through for him. And Archie finding him was good. His secret was finally out. He could tell someone everything and unburden himself. The matter-of-fact way in which he did broke my heart actually. Archie was understandably shocked and immediately offered to ask Fred to give FP his job back and for Jug to live with him. And this is where I get caught between loving Archie and wanting to hit him on the head with a sharp instrument! Its just the way his character has progressed so far - I can’t really tell what to do with him. He’s bland and uninteresting and trivial. But in this episode he really came through for his friends, so yeah -idk.

Jughead asking Archie not to tell anyone - especially Betty. I think the reason is that he doesn’t want to come across as needy and screwed up, you know, he wants to show his best side to his girl - he wants to seem like he’s together and there for her instead of throwing his problems at her at a time when she’s already bogged down by so many of hers! I just think he wants to keep her away from worrying about him! And that’s so Juggie!

I was kind of meh about Veronica and the whole power struggle between the Lodge women thing. Oh and looks like Hiram is really in prison, so bang goes my theory of him being in hiding someplace and driving this whole thing remotely. Ronnie choosing Reggie as arm candy was great, Reggie IS hot btw. If only he wasn’t such a douche! But points to him for going along on that search for Polly! A gal pal, a gay and arm candy? Really Ronnie? You’re reducing Kevin to that? The whole town (or at least all of Riverdale high) seemed to be on the Cooper’s team. So that left the Blossoms with Keller and who else?

Jughead putting his arms around Betty when she’s worried and she reaching to him for reassurance was so adorable! And everyone’s reactions were revealing - Veronica looked surprised and then smug and Archie was kinda surprised too, but was he jealous? I think as they go deeper into bughead, Archie is gonna become more and more resentful as he finds his two best friends drifting away from him and towards each other and that is gonna manifest in a bad way. How? I don’t know yet. But he’s probably going to do something stupid that gets them both (or perhaps Jug) in trouble. Or perhaps be irrational and angry without knowing why. Why was Ronnie calling Juggie Holden Caulfield? Is it because he’s perceived as mysterious and a loner? But I love that she ships bughead!

Juggie saying “We may have had a moment” in that hesitating, halting manner, not really meeting Archie’s eyes? I think that meant that he really thought Archie would be mad at him or feel betrayed or something. He tried to downplay what he felt for Betty twice - once when FP asked him and this once with Archie. Both times Archie was there. I think he’s trying to spare Archie’s feelings. And right now he’s not sure what Betty feels either. In that scene where he’s walking her home, he struggles to articulate what they are “People like us” he says adoringly stuttering, and I think it means he doesn’t want to pressure her to commit and also because he’s uncertain if she’s reciprocating only because she’s going through such a stressful time herself and thinks maybe that’s why she needs him around? Idk.

Cheryl - idk what to make of her! She’s such a bitch most of the times and then one time she does something nice that makes me rethink her character. But I thought she looked really upset when Alice announced that Polly was pregnant with Jason’s baby! Like it was some kind of betrayal. I’m still on board the “twincest” ship!

Back to bughead and the sweet scene when he’s walking her home. Jughead being her “clarity” is like such a bughead thing and I’m loving it! Betty seems to have all her best ideas around him. And the kiss was just so them! And the little smile he gives after! Oh god, I’m just dying of the adorableness that is bughead! Also how badass were they leading the whole search party and belting out instructions like the power couple they are! And finishing each other’s sentences!

Polly still seems a little bit crazy to me! Maybe its her eyes or just her whole demeanor. 

Now the FP and Fred backstory. They seemed like they were really good friends, but then FP makes it as though Fred kicked him out when he was really down. Fred’s story seemed more believable to me. Again, here’s where carrot-top surprised me again. By insinuating that Fred was being a bad friend by letting Jughead drown along with FP. I’m amazed at the amount of character development for Archie in this episode. Its as if they want us invested in him and his story if indeed the Archie/Betty/Jughead love triangle thing is where they’re heading. I know a lot of people are rooting for Barchie and that wouldn’t really pay off if Archie wasn’t a sympathetic character. We’re supposed to feel bad for him that he lost the girl. Jughead already has oodles of audience sympathy. 

I liked the scene at Pop’s where they were reminiscing. And FP brings up how Jughead isn’t interested in sports and stuff like him but is more like his mom - into writing and books and literary things, and he says its good. I can get the sense of self-loathing from the man. He needs help.

Also, the scene where Juggie’s taking off his drunk dad’s boots and talking to him about Jellybean and his mom was all kinds of heart-breaking. Its so obvious the boy loves his family and wants them together. Its also obvious he’s proud of his mom and sis! (She listens to Pink Floyd on vinyl and has Juggie for an older bro - of course she cannot get any cooler!). The thing I notice about Jughead is that he downplays everything that’s going on with him - be it good or bad. He just doesn’t think its worth talking about or worth anyone’s time and that’s a whole new level of heart-breaking for me, because it just reinforces where this boy’s coming from - years of being bullied and made to feel unworthy and family breaking apart too! I think this warrants an entirely new post, a Jughead meta that I will get to soon!

I hate how they put Juggie through the wringer - first, by being embarrassed by his dad (Cole was superb), then blaming his friend and his dad for his condition, sticking up for him, believing in him only to have him let him down when he needed him the most. My heart shattered when he asked Betty at the station if his dad was there and Betty says Archie and Fred are. He wanted his dad there, dammit! Stupid, stupid, FP! But even he knows that his son’s better off without him. But he cannot use that as an excuse to not even try! The scene outside the station when Juggie gets ready to leave with his dad was so so heart-breaking. Both Cole and Skeet played it to perfection! I was crying, my poor Juggie. He was so conflicted - angry, disappointed, resigned and then finally determined to still not give up on him. Didn’t I say earlier that his most defining trait was his loyalty? Yeah!

I’m glad he has a safe place to live where he will be warm and well-fed. Also get to peek at Betty from Archie’s window and have conversations with her? Maybe? I’m not holding out hope that it’s going to last given the spoilers for episode 8 where Archie is blaming Jughead for betraying him by not telling him his dad was a Serpent. 

I’m also glad Polly found a place to live at Ronnie’s! Hermione was like - any daughter of Alice Cooper is welcome at my place? Does that mean she and Alice share a cordial relationship? I seem to recall them sharing some bitchy moments earlier in the Mayor’s fundraiser. I don’t think anyone likes Alice. Is Hermione an exception? 

I expected the clash between Alice and Penelope to be more - uh, bitchy? I’m not sure why Betty agreed to meet up with the Blossoms. I think its more to get financial support for Polly that she knows she won’t get from her parents since they clearly want to give the baby up for adoption. But still- the Blossoms? What are you thinking gurl?

All in all, this episode really focused on Jughead and how screwed up his life is, and it makes my heart bleed for the poor boy! The scene where he implores Betty to believe that he didn’t do it and those fearful, desperate eyes! Like he’s managed to stay afloat but now finally the net is closing in and he’s choking. He doesn’t know if he can get out. I don’t think he was thinking about evidence and how they could or couldn’t pin it on him at all. He looked totally cornered in that scene. There is some resentment there against Fred Andrews, he clearly believes he did his father wrong. Now that he’s living under his roof plus the fact that Fred helped forge an alibi for him, not sure what he’s gonna think? And how long is he gonna keep the faith in that pathetic excuse of a man called FP? I still wonder why his mom didn’t take him along to her parents? Did he refuse to go? Did he choose to stay with his dad?  Fred making up that alibi for Jughead made me want to applaud him and the next minute I was back at throwing shade at him  because Archie says “You’ve done this before”. Fred definitely seems to have something to hide. 

Also, FP tells Hermione that Lodge took care of the rest of the money. When? How? I thought Hermione was his only conduit. Does he have other people on his job too? Who?

So Jason’s jacket is with FP. So did he torch the car or kill Jason or both or neither? Why would he retrieve that one piece of evidence? I read an interesting theory someplace that FP might actually be Jason’s father (Cheryl being Juggie’s half-sister?? Now this I cannot take!) and he kept the jacket as something to remember his son by. Also Clifford Blossom maybe the real killer since he discovered that Polly was pregnant and did not want the Blossom millions to end up with the Coopers. I don’t know that I buy this theory, but its certainly interesting. Cheryl is supposedly devastated when she learns who the killer is. So it could be one of the Blossoms. But are they that unfeeling and ruthless that would they torture Jason? I’m not really sure about this.