#BOTH ARE ALSO FUCKING NEURODIVERGENT
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I'm re reading sds and I just gotta say. WHY DIDNT NAKABA MAKE GOWTHER AND MERLIN INTERACT MORE. I swear to god they are so besties
also don't even get me started on this pic
#i guess the last photo is more little bro big sis energy#BUT STILL#Like they kinda had the same dad#in my heart i just know little merl saw goat dad as her father figure#ALSO THEY ARE JUST LIKE SCIENCE BROS#BOTH ARE ALSO FUCKING NEURODIVERGENT#autism Gowther and adhd merlin?#i think yes#nanatsu no taizai#seven deadly sins#nnt#sds#gowther nnt#merlin nnt
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i have a special kind of annoyance for people who say fall out boy (or any band!) look “sad” or “bored” because they’re standing still while playing or have a serious expression like. just say you know nothing about them and also have zero respect for neurodivergent people and/or people who’ve had surgeries that restrict their movement and go
#sorry idk if it’s the neurodivergent part of me that’s like !!!!!! THEY DO NOT HAVE TO PERFORM EXPRESSIONS FOR YOU !!!!!#or the fact that like. i know about joe’s back surgeries and that he has explicitly stated why he doesnt do all he used to on stage#also deeply irrtates me when people pick on pete and say he’s ‘clearly so bored’ because he has a concentrated expression while playing#he does not owe putting on a big facial expression or anything to ANYONE just. please stop.#anyway i got a comment on youtube and its the same shit i see from this kind of person so often#and . i wish we would just leave people alone. both joe and pete have explicitly stated they’re having a great time#just fucking let them do their thing. they dont owe you a big fake performance to prove it.
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I remove my mask (ADHD) only to reveal a second smaller mask underneath (Chronic Fatigue)
#chronic illness#chronic fatigue#adhd#not me slowly realizing that my energy levels are not in fact normal#took me 17 years to figure out that being in pain all the time wasn’t normal#of course it’s gonna take longer for me to find out that most people can do Multiple Big Things#and also#there’s this whole physical disabilities VS neurodivergencies that seems to have taken root in the disability community#which firstly I think is dumb because from what I’ve seen of chronic depression it acts a whole lot like chronic fatigue#and the brain is part of the body#and neurological disorders can absolutely be dehabilitating#driving wedges between these communities doesn’t help fucking anyone#especially when working together means more activism and pushing for resources and accommodations for everyone#but also because it tends to erase the people with both#because having both means that they stack onto eachother and make things even harder#my disability experience is fundamentally effected by my adhd#to focus on solely the physical stuff ignores just how much harder it is to have both#and really invalidates
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When I want to not be weird about something but I have literally never been normal about a piece of media in my life
#unhinged#me with anime#no I'm not obsessed with japan in a wierd way i just think hot men fighting eachother is neat#i need both i need to be unhinged but also have meaningful discussions#gojo is an amazing complex character AND i need him to rail me into next week#god fucking damnit autism can i not drive people away from me with my obsessions#can i just be silly about my little guys#vent post#vent#but like a little vent not a big vent#autism#actually autistic#neurodivergent#special interest#star wars#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#anime#ace attorney#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#good omens#bungou stray dogs
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i think this was funnier in my head.
#puppy draws#yo-kai watch#katie forester#jibanyan#whisper#whisper ykw#usapyon#hailey anne thomas#as a diagnosed autistic person i can confirm that the autism evaluation results#just being a picture of the autism creature with text saying you have the tism is accurate#i don't even remember how this idea came to me i think i was just overly tired this morning and then this happened#also ignore the fact that i refuse to accept nate as being canon protagonist katie is like way better sorry besties <3#that's like 80% a joke. every main yo-kai watch character is my blorbo and nate is included in that#i just also prefer katie. playing 3 and rewatching the anime + reading the manga did endear me to nate more though#i like how he's average but also totally bisexual. no i will not elaborate#why do my tags always get so derailed. uhhhh back to autism. hailey is so fucking autistic ngl#there's like at least five different instances in 3 of her just completely failing to read the room#she's totally hyperfixated on sailor cuties and next harmeowny#she has adhd vibes too i think but. the tism is very strong#i can't decide my favorite part of this between the “yippee!! you have the tism” image and jibanyan asking what autism is#he doesn't know because he has autism by default through being a cat he didn't need a diagnosis#i feel like all of them are autistic tbh but that's probably just me projecting. i totally gave katie autism in the rewrite though#i wasn't even trying to i just don't know what neurotypicals are like because i got that autistic rizz. and adhd rizz. mostly the adhd#i am definitely also autistic but i think my adhd effects me a lot more in day-to-day life#since i usually just interact with my moms who know i'm autistic and are also both neurodivergent#and people online. most of who are autistic because it's mostly on tumblr and this is the autism website#yo-kai watch more like yo-gay watchtism amirite-#oh also very amused by hailey just poofing into existence in the second picture. as you do
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i need ppl to just never speak about my family ever again im so serious
#trying to figure out which one of them this is more offensive towards#‘cerseis just too stupid’ oml#i also laugh always at some jaime girlies taking everything tyrion says at face value and in bad faith#when it is clearly challenged or contradicted by the subtext or his actions etc#when thats the exact phenomenon that also drives us crazy with how ppl read jaime 😭😭#the way cersei is infantalized when thats a thing that pisses her the fuck off in the text has me laughing a bit tbh#girlfailure memes and their consequences 💔#‘i despise tyrion but jc are both neurodivergent minors’#theres a difference between understanding and feeling empathy for a character#and infantalizing them to this degree#like thats not really the point
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do you ever get homesick for an instrument?
#i know at least half of y’all don’t even really play instruments but lemme have this#venting time:#i’m good at bass clarinet. like not particularly great. but i’ve played it enough in certain challenging situations to get good at it#and like. everyone recognizes it. sure my neurodivergence makes it hard but hey. my effort is recognized and my playing is complimented#AND NOW IM ON TENOR FUCKING SAX#it’s fun. it’s cool. but oh god I CAN PLAY TWO NOTES AND ONE HALF-OCTAVE SCALE#LIKE BRO. TF IS THIS SHIT#i’m not good at it. and that annoys me. so i’m probably gonna get annoyed to the point where i will practice out of spite. and that’s fine#but also i haven’t played bass clarinet in over two weeks and i turned in both my school instruments#rip theodosia 3 and 4#i say things sometimes#bass clarinet#tenor saz#marching band
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Uugghhhhhhhhhhhh why do autism evaluations have to be so complicated
#idk i started looking into them#at this point in my life im not going to like. idk die if i dont 100% know if im autistic#if anything im p sure its both adhd and autism#im also ocd so#either way. i finally accept i am neurodivergent. I know my body i know my mind#but itd be nice to not second guess myself yknow#i heard the waiting lists r crazy#and the priv assessment costs r crazy#keep hearing horror stories abt biased doctors#its all just so#my friend whos diagnosed can so easily say she doesnt vibe w self diagnosis#her family was thankfully v accepting and supportive#im so happy for her#but my family is not like that ...... i slipped thru the cracks very easily lol#she told me to go get assessed and like ofc. i want to. id love to!#sjajdkdkwkd idk#brain stuff#minnie post#99.9% sure im audhd like#how can i not be looking back on my Entire Fucking Life
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; realizing you could've gotten your disabilities recognized earlier if you'd just spoken up earlier is such a feeling
#text post#- ⭐🦊#cw vent#tw vent#kind of but not really but js tagging in cade#this is more a bittersweet realization than a vent but hmm#disabled#disability#actually disabled#autistic#neurodivergent#disabilities#“why didn't you tell me your legs hurt all the time!?” I thought it was normal “why didn't you mention you were in pain” didn't wanna bothe#like#bittersweet#autism#might get a cane. because like. it'd help#but also we're constantly told we're fine and like “ oh you js need to exercise maybe 🥺 ” oh my god go fuck yourself#hnghdheg cane ...#leg pain#chronic pain#pain#leg hurt real#realizing these tags are all over the place but xe is specifically talking about leg pain possible PoTS and autism lol ‼️#pots syndrome
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anyway if there's anything I'd particularly say about Luka's portion the recent free patreon info, it's that hey, we get more information that suggests that I was correct in clocking autism in him too after all. see I wasn't just projecting y'all (<- was absolutely projecting)
(it's funny though, because I actually previously had a brief draft about my opinion on that lol. I kept in my drafts not because I wanted to add more to it, but because it had so little stuff aside from my opinion that I wasn't sure if I needed to post it)
#tbh honestly. you CAN also attribute it to other neurodivergences too#but regardless of what exactly it is. it's a very nd-coded thing to be like-#*reading books & studying how to connect to people*#-'I'm getting a good grade in human connections; something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve'#alien stage#i (ai)#not exactly what I expected from luka tbh. but also not unexpected at all.#fuck. WHY is he of all people still uncontestedly the most relatable ALNST character to me. it's wild#... I wonder if Luka would enjoy Kaguya-sama if he ever read it.#......... [person who is getting increasingly deranged voice] I wonder if Luka Alienstage would like my HimeSan fanfics.
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this is SO kids when all they have in the world is each other-coded. literally SO you’re all that i have-pilled. so found family core
#sad siblings#dairydraws#epithet erased#paranatural#parasona#inscribedsona#original character#neurodivergent characters#audhd#see. see it’s meaningful because winnie hates speaking out loud#but she can’t say what she means and hug him at the same time#so she sacrifices that comfort to comfort him#see. do you see. do you see what i’m saying. do you fucking see-#i realized i haven’t been making enough art fleshing out winnie’s side of the relationship#yknow like a lot of my serious art of them has christopher being the one protecting winnie#which is like. fine because that’s kind of his role. but also i want to show that their friendship still goes both ways#i want to be able to write like. a non canon interview asking them what they like about each other#and have good answers on both sides. that’s kinda a good thing to strive to b able to do#when writing a friendship
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partner has told me today that I'd make a good autist :D it's funny to me bc I think so too. and turns out more than one of my close high school friends are definitely on the spectrum and I never picked up on my partner's tism as nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me. thats just how people are, right? I had just lived with an undiagnosed potential autist for 4 years, so everything fine and dandy to me, all normal levels of weirdness plus some adhd and trauma sprinkled in there. that explained the rest to me. but now that he got his diagnosis and knows more about it all it is becoming so much clearer :D
#I know that my (c)ptsd also just has a big symptom overlap with both adhd and asd#so it might be whatever#but it would also explain things about my childhood#which can also be explained by parentla emotional neglect#but anyway#I know for sure I'm neurodivergent through the trauma#if there's also a bit of tism in me I do not fucking mind at all#N
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hate to break it to yall but a lot of kids who were designated as gifted in like elementary school in fact did absolutely not fit easily into the school system. in fact, that difficulty with the system is often the very reason they get the label gifted in the first place.
#i do very much agree with a lot of the criticism against people who make having been designated gifted their entire personality#like absolutely 100% those people tend to be the fucking worst. but i think that those critiques are always based on the american school#system that apparently has such a thing as a gifted program that separates out those kids to make them just insufferable.#whereas majority of kids in the situation of being stamped as gifted in fact never benefit from that and yeah often suffer from burnout#later because teachers don’t pay attention to them and expect them to just be able to handle anything. not to mention they’re very often#neurodivergent and suffering from bullying from peers and frankly not rarely from teachers also.#i don’t see how conflating the two categories is really helpful.#like kids on both ends of the adults’ imaginary spectrum from learning disability and gifted are ultimately made to suffer by the very#system we are criticizing.#p
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Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that Cynthia would like Kingdom Hearts for the exact same reason she likes Graces f (the homoerotic tension,,,,,,)
#Also she’s just an action girlie in general! (sorry dism you have Inigo to enjoy turn-based games with instead 💔)#just pav things#She likes graces better though because it has multiplayer :) So she gets to ramble to Inigo as they both play!#In her mind this is basically forcing Minty to pay active attention to said homoerotic tension rather than passively watching 😎#But also she assumes that with Inigo’s demeanour he doesn’t want to be there :(#So also in her mind she is trapping Inigo into socialising more actively with her. Gaming is a cover for her desire to connect with him#After all it’s easy to say ‘heeey you promised you were gonna do a full playthrough with me >:(‘ and not ‘I really miss you’#Classic You Have No Name Poor CommunicationTM ✨✨✨✨#Inigo DOES want to be there wholeheartedly and sincerely derives enjoyment out of neurodivergent people monologuing about their interests#He loves his creachurs very much and that’s why he gets along so well with Dism and Cynthia! Inigo enjoys interesting people :)#Buuuuuuut he’s driven to suppress his feelings for Cynthia in particular because he’s trying to prevent having an attachment to her#Attachments lead him to get careless and hurt people :) Murder them even :) And then it hurts reeeaally bad :3#Of course this is where you can see the flaw in his logic#Why would he be trying to protect Cynthia from himself. If he didn’t already have an attachment to her in the first place <3#He doesn’t want Cynthy to ‘die’ bc he loves her. Inigo tries so hard to deny this fact in his head bc it defies his faulty belief system#he wants to keep indulging in the Lie born from his emotional Wound :3#In truth though feigning detachment makes him incredibly lonely and dissatisfied and ultimately hurts them both 💔#Cynthia doesn’t help in this either with her own ambitions to heal him hurt/comfort fanfic style for her own loneliness’s sake#So in conclusion fuck yeah codependent relationships ✨ truly a concoction of bottled up feelings#We love the drama hehehe. On some days I even prefer this over Dism and Archie’s mess just because of how natural and realistic it is#There’s no spiriters adding fuel to the fire and facilitating corruption this is just 100% flawed people doing flawed things!#…..Can you tell I was thinking of the moment where Cynthia and Inigo mend their relationship today 😭❤️
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i have recently come to the conclusion that spotify ads whilst angry are significantly more inconvenient than spotify ads when sad
i base this conclusion on the most scienctific methods and experiments
experiment one
sad so listening to screamy/bouncy songs to make me feel better songs as a result of an exam not going the best for me
✨random ass uni advert plus some random collaboration song i don’t really know what i was hearing tbh something to do with tango ✨
annoying but bearable, honestly just made me slightly more aware of my surroundings, it was followed by ratatata so i was mostly fine
experiment two
angry songs whilst rage cleaning and having a very real conflict with a hoover that very rudely will not do what it is told
aRe YoU eNjOyInG yOuR ✨fReE✨ sPoTiFy ExPeRiEnCe????????
the rage. the voice. the unrealistically upbeat tone. the audacity. the stupid fucking synth-wave backing music.
in. what. world. exactly. would. i. be. enjoying. that.
unfortunately i was in a room with family members in or the honestly impressive amount of swear words in my brain would have 100% been hurled at some random voice (i genuinely hope the voiceover people for spotify are paid so well because i genuinely hate their voices so much and i know it isn’t their fault it’s just their job but ohmyfuckinggods).
i eventually did settle for staring silently and maliciously at the offending device (my phone) and the ad until it mercifully switched over to motionless in white and i was happy (ish) again
#just trying to block everything out with screams but noooooo#spotify ads can go skip themselves on a fucking lake#i *could* get premium but i also have a goblin in my head that refuses to submit to capitalism#spotify#spotify ads#music#actually audhd#actually neurodivergent#actually autistic#shitpost#<i think so anyway#ratatata is a good song#babymetal#electric callboy#motionless in white#i think the miw song was a puppets song but i honestly don’t remember if it was puppets 2 or 3 they both played at some point
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Starting pride month with the pharmacy denying me my testosterone prescription until mid-June and my doctor saying she can't do anything about it because it's a controlled substance 🙃✌️
#i should also add that it's been a week of trying to get her respond to the messages#'hey i don't want to be off my t for a month'#[full day of silence]#'sorry i don’t know why you can't get your refill but i can't do anything about it'#i am going to lose my mcfucking mind#that's not to mention a long argument where my now former friend#because they're one of those 'trump and biden are both equally bad' people who's planning on just letting trump take power again#because they seem to think that you can boycott a high-level politician in a critical election like it's a fucking soda company#for someone who used being communist as a justification for it#they sure have a very capitalist perspective on politics#i also couldn't fall asleep until literal dawn this morning because i forgot my sleep aids#and then when i did fall asleep i had a solid hour of nightmares#and tw for neurodivergence-based disordered eating for this next one#but my brain hasn't let me eat much of anything all day because it's not 'the right food'#it also will not tell me what 'the right food' is#anyways pride month is off to a pretty shitty start#OH and work changed my schedule from working mids to working primarily night shifts without telling me#and my ortho's advice for my wrist fucked it up a lot more and she hasn't responded to my email from a week ago#i'm fucking miserable#if you need me i'll be playing stardew and listening to sad gay music#personal#vent#rant
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