#theres a difference between understanding and feeling empathy for a character

[ilynpilled]

i need ppl to just never speak about my family ever again im so serious

[user2718273]

Terrorheads r always dunking on goodsir for the moral absolutism & then having absolutely no nuance in their own conceptions of good & evil. Like when goodsir finally snaps & poisons the mutineers ppl are like "oh see hes a bad person cus he couldnt forgive them cus he only thinks in black & white!!!!" but like bro. If somebody kidnapped u and forced u to carve up your coworkers' bodies for consumption u would not feel too friendly toward them i think. Or just how ppl talk abt goodsir in general. Like yeah he believes in colonizer shit, he was raised by colonizers. Every1 on the ships believes in colonizer shit i fear. But he gets more shit abt it than anyone else bc theres this weird conception that its worse to try and do good and get it wrong than to just straight up act out of vanity or greed. Not that goodsir should be absolved of anything, but its weird how ppl have so little empathy for characters whose desire to do good is tainted by ideological conditioning. Like bro i hate to break it to u. We all have ideological conditioning. If u act like thats some inherent moral flaw and not the inevitable product of living in a society and absorbing that society's beliefs, u will have a very hard time recognizing it outside of tv shows where people are just characters.

Also theres a difference between having no empathy for franklins men bc ur pissed at them and having no empathy out of principle. I feel like theres some recognition of personhood that comes w putting someone on the receiving end of a human emotion like anger, whereas if ur just like "logically i know colonizer bad, so empathy for colonizer = bad," ur putting them on a subhuman level out of the reach of emotion. U dont feel anger or empathy for them. U never find out what u feel toward them bc without accepting the possibility that u might reach muddy, nuanced, morally frustrating conclusions, theres no wiggle room to feel what u feel. But then u never get to feel the anger either. U cant understand things from either side bc once u start trying to sort everything into concrete moral categories, then ur not understanding individuals, ur defining variables, and everything becomes theoretical. I feel like thats part of the reason why when ppl put the expedition on the level of the subhuman, they often elevate the netsilik to the superhuman. Like ppl have a weirdly hard time conceptualizing that silna has complex motivations & is capable of developing complex relationships w other characters? Theyre just like "oh wow shes being so nice to goodsir, she must have stockholm syndrome or be wayyy too forgiving." Cus if u imagine franklins men as having one pure and self-contained nature that opposes the pure and self-contained nature of the netsilik, then theres no way they can genuinely interact. They can only touch each other under the guise of something else. Silna must not adequately understand goodsir's role in the fuckery ripping up her world. Which is ridonkulous to me bc her first interaction w him was when his party shot her father & then goodsir prevented him from dying on the ice. Like. She is not under any illusions that this man isnt part of the hurt and destruction. She just finds a way to care abt him anyway. Not bc she's some fountain of forgiveness, but bc despite the things she must hate about him, there are also things she loves. Same w crozier. Idk if she feels affection for him in the same way she does goodsir, but she def doesnt just save him bc shes a saint. She feels anger and bitterness just like any other person, and if she wanted to, she couldve left crozier to die like des voeux. Personally i think she saved him bc he was the only one left who had seen what she'd seen and she didnt wanna have to bear it alone but idk. She had her reasons. Anyway goodsir is literally a butch buttom so the wokes cant even get her. #She positionality on my moral puritanism til i absolve

[bleue-flora]

I'm pretty sure c!Dream wanting c!Tommys trust was just to get the disk from him. Dreams tweet about it "help him with his goals"

I'm sure he didn't anticipate for c!tommys mental health to break down that much in exile so there would be a little bit of empathy thinking about his talk with c!punz. But majority of exile was him pretending to be c!tommys friend specifically to get c!tommy to hand him the disk. He didn't want c!tommy as an ally. The way he treated c!tubbo during the arc was very similar, pretending to be his friend until c!tubbo gave him that disk. It wouldn't make sense for c!dream to want to be allies with either of the two because he knew that without the separation of the two and him watching over, they would revert back to harming him again. c!dream wouldn't try to make allies with one of his enemies out of thin air knowing that they have different goals. His exile plan stopped when c!tubbo gave him the disk, and the disks allowed him to continue with the staged finale plan. And for the anon that brought up that early era truce, c!dream has no reason to trust c!tommy, they were constantly scamming each other back in the day theres an hour long vod of the two making fake disks and armors out of thinking the other will scam. I had to correct some of your past anons because some of them do not understand the motivation of exile.

For sure, I really don't think he thought or intended for Tommy's mental health to take such a dive. I think he was manipulating him obviously, but I don't think he was trying to break him. (I mean for starters because breaking people is not a good way to get what you want and Dream seems to know this, and plus Tommy spirals a whole lot without Dream's help so it doesn't seem intended...)

Anyways... I don't think Tommy has a disc, does he? I'm pretty sure Tubbo has one and Skeppy or Badboyhalo has one or something. So I don't that reasoning works. I do think he was probably trying to get the disc from Tubbo, but also I think his actions can be multifaceted. If his long term goal is a peaceful server and a big happy family, which we know is true because he damn well repeats it enough til the very end. Then forming a peaceful relations with Tubbo and L'manberg makes sense. Becoming Tommy's friend so he stops terrorizing the server, specifically his friends, makes sense. Tommy doesn't need Tubbo to get up to shenigans, he causes a lot of problems without Tubbo's involvement. Sure, Tubbo enables his behavior by usually having his back in the aftermath of those, where consequences of his actions come into play. But Tommy hurts Dream a whole even during Exile, no Tubbo needed and I don't think Tubbo ever seeks out to hurt Dream without it being apart of one of Tommy's schemes. In fact, Tubbo is actually the smart one usually trying to tell Tommy not to provoke Dream or do bad things. Tubbo is actually a very reasonable character, one I feel like without Tommy (and Wilbur by extension) and then later Quackity, he and Dream probably would have been allys or at least friends, more so than even Sapnap. Tubbo just wants to build things and be friends, he's not one to start conflict. In fact, despite Tubbo actually being the one to kill Dream in the cave in the beginning of the disc saga, he says in Daedalus that Tubbo might be one of the people who hasn't really done anything. And I think he kinda believes that, that Tubbo's actions have usually been lead by others or were reactions to things. I also think there is a difference especially in Dream's mind of ally and friend, I think later he still thinks Sapnap is his friend even is Sapnap is not longer his ally, so it doesn't seen unreasonable to me for him to try and become Tubbo's and Tommy's friend to get them to stop going after him all the time. Not that he actually expected them to become his allies and help him. There is a lot neutral ground between friend, ally and enemy, where he was perhaps trying to get Tommy and Tubbo similar to how he did with Sam later in Daedalus. So, it's perhaps less of trying to turn his enemy into ally out of thin air and more of how 'bout y'all just stop coming after me, which obviously didn't work since L'manberg started plotting to kill him.

Regardless, I think Dream's Exile plan ended the moment he planned to put himself in the prison, a good bit before Tubbo gave him the discs. At which time, he says this and I think it's pretty telling that perhaps his relations with L'manberg was not all disingenuous.

I don't know, it just sounds real to me. It sounds raw and betrayed and we know he was part of the plan in exploding the community house, so it's not about that like he frames it for the rest of the server. I think it more so has to do with the Green Festival, where they were quite literally about to backstab him. Making me think that the discs were a piece, but they weren't perhaps the whole focus during this time. That they didn't become the main focus until after he felt it necessary to get imprisoned and planned the staged finale.

I mean, is it so unreasonable to think that layered within his manipulation of Tommy and Tubbo, there was genuine yearning for friendship there? Can he not be logical and emotional? Strategic but also hopelessly optimistic? Just because Tommy doesn't think before he does, doesn't mean that characters can't have multiple plans and variables at play. It is so truly so unreasonable that what ended up happening wasn't Plan A, but Plan B, C, D... that he didn't start out with bad intentions, but was forced to constantly adjust based off circumstances.

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

Begging at your feet rn to see more of your elka stuff and ESPECIALLY your elka and franke stuff

THE BEST I CAN GIVE IS UHHHH a little bit of background on some things that have been cooking because im bored.

The basis of elkas character being a control freak who is so obsessed w upholding the status quo of her mind and staying normal and being ‘happy’ in her future despite everything she sees being a doomed ending. the vision of a married life with nils lutefisk, who never really seemed to care about her and who she doesnt even know she actually loves or not. because it doesnt feel like how it SHOULD feel and she wished he was something different but she doesnt know what

she doesnt allow herself to think maybe shes Never been happy with a man. that maybe she only feels the need to be because thats all shes ever known or seen herself having

also the added very important headcanon that elka gets so obsessed over this future that she forces herself to have visions of it constantly, over working her future sight to the point that by the time the canon game happens her vision has clouded over and shes completely blind and has to use clairvoyance to ‘see’. (based on her early concept model with white eyes. anyway)

her first year of summer camp kicks off her relationship with nils but also an unexpected friendship with Kitty, and they end up getting very close, and though its confusing its the best elkas ever felt- up until she’s graced with a vision of her and kitty getting into a terrible fight, and rather than putting herself through that she just pretends they were never friends in the first place. (because shes normal)

kitty is understandably confused and upset about this and doesnt know why elka is suddenly giving her the cold shoulder. they both leave camp completely fucked up over their toxic female friendship drama and the next year kitty is ‘seemingly’ over it, already rebounding to a New girl she met on the bus, franke.

of course, franke is a lot different than elka. kitty finds her a lot easier to get along with, more relaxed, they kind of compliment each other in a way. the budding friendship to serious crush to summercamp love story pipeline.

BUT.. franke cant really help but noticing how tense kitty and elka are around each other.

its a lot to get into but my friends and i kind of spitballed franke having like. psychic hyper empathy based powers. shes more of a feelings guy. she kinda goes with whatever kitty wants but she can be good when shes not around. theres like a whole thing i made up for it BUT anyway

she doesnt know whats wrong with them just that the vibes are fucking rancid and she wants to help kitty out by getting to the bottom of it. and so she starts talking to elka when she can , and elka pities her a bit because she sees franke as this completely gullible goofball under kittys spell, cursed to follow her around like a lost puppy. especially because kitty has only grown hostile to elka since theyve been back at camp, elka kind of knows kitty is/was using franke to make her jealous. much like , well, she was using JT to get to nils. so franke is kind of like a tennis ball getting kicked between the two of them.

because a lot of this stuff is roleplayed out there was a bit going about franke being illiterate (because shes dumb) that franke plays into in a self deprecating humor kind of way, but elka takes it completely seriously and takes soooooo much pity on her she decides to help franke learn to read by showing her her favorite book pride and prejudice. has franke hold the book while elka uses her eyes to read it for her. this made a lot of sense in the moment dont worry

franke goes along with this even tho she can. absolutely read. because, like, maybe if they talk enough she can squash her and kittys beef. this ... goes okay, but franke ends up really enjoying this little book reading thing they do together. she is unfortunately a little baby butch lesbian and elka is pretty and nicer than she initially thought, when she isnt talking about stupid boys, and gets Really into the romance aspects of the book that Elka herself enjoys. and elka ends up enjoying it too, because without kitty around, franke is just such a good listener, and a little charming, and does whatever she asks, and gosh, if she was a boy she’d be everything elka wanted, wouldnt she? oh well!

and even though she looks, she cant find an end in sight for their future. maybe this friendship could be different from kitty, maybe she doesnt have to be afraid of how close they are. so she lets it happen, because it distracts her from the grief of boys who refuse to understand her. every time her and nils break up, franke is there to say Well, he never deserved you anyhow! and she feels better for just a little while.

this isnt even getting INTO the feelings that evolve over the future and the self destruction elka puts herself thru to secure her marriage but ive rambled enuff. maybe you all will feel what i feel if only for a moment

[kotomori]

So I have a question. One that links back to the scene in Season 4 during the conversation between Nancy and Steve in the Upside down during the last episode and why I'm not really a fan of how the aftermath of it is handled in some fics I've read, but this is solely based off my own opinion.

For the sake of fanon over canon (canon doesn't exist. I dont know her) Let's say theres a scenario where all of the party are together, Eddie and Max are recovering and they're all at Steve's or something like that. But if we're gonna go down more of a canon route in S5 with Nancy, Jonathan and Steve, I honestly dont think either of them will end up together. (Mainly because I have a bad feeling at least two of these three arent gonna make it out alive) but back to fanon, let's say Jonathan and Nancy have broken up but they're still learning how to be around eachother as friends just like Steve and Nancy are doing. Again, I feel like this would've been a way better way to go for their character development if Stancy were spending their time together just learning how to be around eachother again. It would've made for a much better dynamic in season 5 between the three.

Anyhow, I'm getting sidetracked. Goes without saying that Steve is easily my favourite stranger things character. However I've always had some mixed feelings when it came to Nancy, noticing on more than one occasion that while she is genuinely a good person and a complete badass who knows how to get shit done, she seems to have some problems feeling empathy for others, especially if the situation doesnt apply to her, though you could argue that Mike has the same issue when it comes to El and Will, in which he tries to understand but when he knows he cant he instead becomes frustrated and more often than not takes it out on them. Nancy definitely has this issue with Steve in season 2. During the first part of season 2 and to an extent season 1, Steve tries to offer her a distraction to her problems with guilt rather than a solution. And to an extent I believe that was how Nancy came to view Steve during season 2. A distraction instead of a solution, eventually realising this distraction was no longer helping her and taking out her frustrations on the distraction before finding a solution by going with Jonathan to find Murray for answers and realising that Jonathan was the one she wanted.

However during season 3 they seem to have a hard time understanding eachother and on top of that the two barely interact with Steve at all. Yet in season 4 Steve and Nancy are left to reconnect while Jonathan is in California, not to mention the underlying subplot that her and Jonathan are realising that much like her and Steve, they each have very different ambitions.

Nancy is very career driven and wants to make a difference in the world. Jonathan just wants to take care of his family and stay close to them following everything that has happened and is unsure if what he really wants is to spend his life following Nancy rather than being by her side. Steve on the other hand has developed a somewhat paternal bond with the party following what is implied to have been a very fundamentally lonely life. It's for this reason that it makes sense he would he happy with a simple quiet life, travelling the world with a family of his own. I'm not sure if the Duffers did this on purpose to mislead us or whether they've just forgotten what each of these characters have been through in each season but when you put all that in perspective, none of these ambitions align in the slightest. If anyone thought that the whole winnebago talk would actually become a reality in season 5, maybe in an epilogue or something like that, then people seem to not realise that Nancy wanted anything but to end up like her parents and displays little interest in anything other than protecting those she has and focusing on her career. A simple life would not be satisfying for her.

Long story short, trying to put Stancy back together romantically would not work for either characters arc, at least in my opinion. If they were able to form a strong platonic friendship by the end of season 5 then that would be the most satisfying outcome to me.

On a slightly different note I started this with a question. I see it alot in fics where people tease Steve for expressing what he wants out of life, i.e, the whole six little nuggets conversation. Honestly I found that while scene really sweet and the characters in fics rarely bring this up as a way to be mean. But I've seen in some that Nancy actually brings up what Steve told her in the upside down as a way to tease him in front of their friends. Again, it's hardly ever written with any malicious intent other than to embarrass him but even so I really dont see that being something she would ever tell anyone, even their closest friends. While I stated previously that Nancy struggles with empathy, I fully believe that she sees that moment herself as Steve being truly genuine and heartfelt with her. Point being that as much as the idea may not appeal to her, she can see would not use something like that as an excuse to bring up in conversation as a way to tease him or embarrass him by stating out loud for everyone to hear that he once dreamed they would start a family. I dont believe that Steve would repeat it to anybody else either, even Robin. That is something personal to the two of them whether Steve really knows what he wants or not and it's clear that there are alot of unspoken things regarding the past between them that I can see bringing up some tension in season 5.

Though I can't deny that I've had some angsty ideas following these thoughts. Imagine another scene like the bullshit scene in s2, only its after she finds out that Jonathan lied to her about college and maybe she gets drunk again, possibly for the first time since season 2 and when Steve tries to comfort her (maybe he found her first or she seeks him out, idk) but she reflects back on how it felt reconnecting with him in 4 and the conversation they had and drunkenly makes a move on him and is left even more confused when he rejects her and throws back in his face everything he said to her. Maybe Robin or Eddie or Jonathan overhear and jump in to seperate them before it turns into a fight. Steve feels guilty while Nancy is just even more confused about her feelings for Steve and Jonathan. Maybe it ends with them finally talking things through, Steve confesses he has feelings for someone else (I wonder who) and with a clearer head they realise it makes more sense for them to just learn to get to know eachother as friends again.

Anyhow sorry for the ramble, that's all for now :)

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn��t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

[zanguntsu]

attractiveness and morality - or how people think with their metaphorical dicks instead of their brains

people are fucking horny over the villain characters in bleach, i mean specifically the male ones because as we know the female villains are nonexistent lol. but it’s not hard to see how attractive the male characters are even though i just refuse to acknowledge men unless i have too.

however, there is an issue with how we perceive the characters based on how attractive they actually are, more along the lines of how people will excuse any offensive behavior based on physical attractiveness

the convicts oops i mean examples

there are a few examples i can name like popular male villains that people lose their shit over.

aizen is the big one, where despite the crimes he has committed, such as emotional manipulation, attempting to wipe out a whole town, murders, and hollowfying his colleagues and getting away with it. yet, he is sympathized, especially over Tousen who tends to be more villainized by the fandom or at least held in a less favorable regard.

Gin is in the same boat, with the emotional manipulation and general emotional harm inflicted on multiple people but is sympathizes because uwu he loves rangiku even though he did cause her harm, simply because he betrayed her and hurt her friends and colleagues.

Ulquiorra is another very notable one, since he also has that whole manipulation thing although not as blatant as aizen. he did kidnap a minor and abuse her (isolating her, threatens her and her friends, and it is used to control her/keep her in captivity).

Grimmjow is another example, and its especially notable because he’s just very very violent. And he never apologizes or feels remorse for it, despite generally terrorizing Ichigo and co.

Nn*itra is especially reprehensible, he is overtly sexist, as most of his violent acts are targeted at women and uh. actively saying he hates women. creepy (implied sexual) behavior towards a minor as well.

Szayel as well, he has no regard for his minions, and then theres whatever he did to nemu what the fuck that was so fucked what the fuck.

notably, these men are also wildly popular among the fandom. they will have the most fanart, most discussion, most fics i guess. 

why do horny fucks sympathize with them

people empathize with people they see as attractive, and i mean conventional attractiveness. note how none of this empathy extends to people who do not fall in the category as attractive (often pale side eyes) hunk/twink. does zommari get that attention? yammy? why are they not held to the same standard as say szayel/gin or grimmjow. yammy is also angry and prone to violence, much like grimmjow.

what sets them apart is that they are not deemed sexually attractive so therefore, their flaws become easier to ignore and they arent sympathized as much. of course, kubo probably did inadvertently create this problem, seeing as theres a discrepancy in creating a complex character. another example of this is the comparison between byakuya and omaeda. of course, they are obviously different characters, byakuya has more development and screentime. however they are similar in that they are wealthy, in high positions of power, and look down on people they deem inferior for a variety of reasons. byakuya, however, is conventionally attractive and also has screentime. that being said there is an underlying issue of fatphobia as well in reducing omaeda to a comic relief character.

people empathize with attractive people or at least favor them. “People more strongly desire to form or maintain bonds with physically attractive partners relative to unattractive partners—an attractiveness-based affiliation effect (Path B). In turn, through projection, attractive partners are perceived to possess attributes that are compatible with these goals, which largely center on their reciprocation of interest in establishing or maintaining close relationships (Path C).”  this is indicated by the halo effect, “the tendency for positive impressions of a person, company, brand or product in one area to positively influence one's opinion or feelings in other areas“ which also applies to beauty and how attractiveness impacts how one recognizes a person. for example, an attractive person will often be associated with positive traits such as compassion, intelligence, and other desirable traits. it could be things like how appearing well groomed heightens others perception of you, how you will appear responsible and capable.

and this does extend to the villains. aizen is viewed as a tragic villain who fights for injustice or something like that. gin is a tragic antihero i think that did everything for his true love tm. ulquiorra is a tragic villain who does not understand love. grimmjow is grimmjow. nn*itra is somehow tragic with an inferiority complex lmao take that fucking L bug boyyy loser. and szayel... exists. see how fanon interprets these characters despite none of them having any remorse for what they have done. the fandom leaps to provide a justification or rational for their actions no matter how abhorrent they are. yammy and zommari are still held as villains, yet they are not sympathized with in the slightest nor are beloved to that extent. compare the sexualization of these men and the amount of sympathy garnered from the fandom. 

why this matters

its no secret that in online spaces especially, offenders are romanticized or at least sympathized. take the true crime community for example, in which case male serial killers were romanticized despite the atrocities they have committed. and this is linked to the “bad boy” trope that is prevalent in romance novels, where a troubled or dangerous man seems like a desirable partner despite stalking their love interest among other crimes. of course, this also gets a bad rep from wattpad ya books and just ya books in general.

there are examples of this trope. i have vaguely alluded to edward from twilight. there is also the cause of that white guy from 50 shades of gray, which is most known for romanticizing abuse but the audience cannot help but be allured by his white guyness or something/ there is the netflix film “you” where a man stalks a women but it is seen as romantic and people find themselves attracted to joe despite his violence. literally this type of behavior:

there’s ted bundy film and how people raved about how hot he was despite him being an absolute monster and having real victims whos family have to live with the fact that people find their family member’s killer hot. it is this in its absolute extreme, where people are fully aware of their crimes but still find sympathy or attraction towards a criminal. in this case it is the gradual romanticization of violence that may creep up. i cannot assuredly claim that there is a strong correlation between finding villains attractive and romanticizing violence but there can be some indication of this.

and this view of how attractiveness can bleed into criminal court. of course, there are other factors such as gender, sexuality, age of judges and the inherent corruption within the legal system. here is a list of studies about this topic because christ i am not copy and pasting all of that go read it yourself.  but the main takeway is that in mock jurors and other public opinion, the more attractive defendants accused of crimes have less severe sentences or even less sentences (however this is not seen as frequently in judges). it shows that there is a level of sympathy, leniency, or more compassion towards attractive people. 

Conclusion

the point being made here is that attractiveness affects how one sees a person. yes, it is possible to find villains attractive, however the bias of physical attractiveness and actual character can potentially be dangerous if left unchecked. this is not exactly a call to action or a psa because a) i am fully aware that this fandom is horny to the point of brainrot and that it is incurable and b) this is just an analysis on behavior in the fandom. and i am aware that the studies are cishet in nature and are not indicative of the fandom as a whole seeing as there are a fair amount of lgbt people in this fandom. that being said, my point still stands.

[lokh]

ok. so about 3 hours out i make my final appeal

first. some of us wonder why mob is in this tournament. characters are entered by nomination and someone made a compelling argument for mob being low empathy. i can respect that

however.

nagai kei is THE dogshit empathy boy

theres an argument to be made that there are different types of empathy and also that empathy ≠ compassion. affective empathy relates to actually being affected by others emotions. emotionally (personal distress and empathic concern). cognitive empathy relates to understanding others' perspectives and what they might feel and why. kei is totally fucked over in both of them.

he cant relate to other people and he doesnt want to. he outright says "i've never worried about anyone else unless it was for show." someone dies in front of him and he goes 'oh well! not my problem anymore and it wasnt my fault' and gets on with his day. his ability to understand others' perspectives is limited and goal-oriented, knowing for example that having a dying partner makes one desperate but not truly understanding what that feels like, only that it makes one easy to manipulate. he gets an arc where he begins to feel inadequate for lacking empathy not because he feels guilty over it, but because it might somehow make him less effective at achieving his goals

and he chooses to stick by his low empathy

i dont agree that hes morally bankrupt and its true also that having low empathy doesnt make you morally bankrupt. in fact i think his principles are all he has, and that they do drive him to act compassionately. because he IS capable of that! time and time again he acts in ways that seem at odds with his low empathy, saving people he has shown no attachment to and putting himself in danger over it. remember the guy from earlier that i said died in front of him? surprise! they werent dead! and the first thing he does is go 'oh fucking Hell' and he goes back to save them. why? because he can and to him its what he should do. i actually also dont think he has zero empathy but if its a contest between him and mob (and it is.) then he definitely has less of it

more to the point, keis low empathy is central to both him as a character and also to the narrative. as it has been pointed out, mobs whole thing is about accepting and processing his own emotions without repressing them, and about connecting with other people. keis whole thing is literally going fuck that we ball low empathy forever ive never met an emotion in my life. and he chooses this and it works for him and its something that isnt changed about him! THATS swaggy

vote for kei PLEASE

Round 2; Group 1: Nagai Kei (Ajin) vs. Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100)

[boywizard-moved]

i just watched the tbb episodes and apart from the horrendous whitewashing that makes each episode really really bad to watch, i have. other gripes.

one of the defining traits of the troopers, that was stressed in multiple episodes over tcw series was the fact that in the end they are brothers and will go to great lengths to care for each other and have each others backs and tbb is like,,,,completely lacking it lol. i understand that since theyre 'different' tbb could possibly feel alienated from other clones/clone culture ect but theres absolutely no care at all for other troopers or even within their group. they just seem like a bunch of guys who hang out with each other with absolutely no bond.

in reference to no relation felt to other clones, disney, being disney, has a very flat black-and-white view on morality and flattens issues into 'good guys-bad guys' view, which causes reg troopers to be immediately 'the Bad Guys' and therefore no compassion or empathy was shown to them by tbb. in literally most instances in tcw, clones who have to go up against other clones,excluding times where they are tricked/coerced are very careful to try not to hurt each other and definitely dont use lethal force. in tbb, none of the 'brothership' between tbb and regs is present at all. regs are stormtrooperized, immediately becoming non-people, just some dumb guys who cant shoot and are on the opposing side. which really really rubs me the wrong way.

obviously, tbb is on a different scale from tcw and is visibly far more of a 'kids show' than tcw. but tcw had a far more nuanced view of war/conflict and opposing sides that disney produced shows have lacked and caused very 3-demensional conflicts and characters to be flattened. another example of this 'black&white flattening' is thrawn in rebels and it really really bugs me because more complex conflicts/characters weren't a problem for viewers in tcw as far as i'm aware and its just. annoying. (obviously this is a very very general statement and there are a lot of,,,,gaps, lets say, where this was not the case) but it really bugs me in this instance because it effectively dehumanized 'reg' troopers and it left a very bad feeling in my mouth

[grahamcarmen]

Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with  “YEAH THIS IS YOU.”  AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better.  it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

[luque-moreau]

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

ye

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different. 

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd.  this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be   v  e  r  y   enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information. 

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

[gracewolf43]

hi

yes its from reading updates but theres only so many chapters an i just really love the story. in all serious i love the depth in it all. this is legitimately the amount of times ive read it. i find myself just thinking about the characters so much, i truly adore them. i feel connected to them on different levels. through the campaign and fan creations. i would have never done any of this without bells hells, without critical role, and without yall creating. ive spent so much of my life reading and i still do. haha as a breakin the fourth wall i genuinely mean the things is say about fics yeah i get confused and yeah i ramble but yall are great. everyones interpretations of it all are magnificent. adding more depth. adding understanding. compassion. empathy. yall are swick. an someone needs to take my phone away bc i get sappy between 0000 and 0500

be weird an be kind

—⚡️💜🖤🐀

[inosukeslefttoe]

in my english class we have a project to make a TED talk about the theme of a book we just finished reading (i chose to read Frankenstein), and i wanted to jot down some of my ideas here before i start formulating my actual project

im never super good with picking up on themes, especially in books, since it takes all my concentration to read books in the first place hehe but i actually picked up on one in frankenstein !! 

so throughout the book, even in the opening letter, theres just this aura of loneliness and every character we get to hear a story from is so lonely and just yearning for companionship and solace... the guy at the beginning (robert walton i think) writes to his sister how he longs for a friend to really connect with. victor mourns the loss of his mother in solitude and longs to not be lonely without her in his life. and the monster is obviously the most lonely creature since he has no one similar to himself in the world. so i was like ayo lonliness as a theme i can totally vibe with that

BUT then when i was reading the chapters that were narrated by the monster, i was like ... damn this is so fuckin sad homie ?? hes literally just a human he got the same emotions and needs as everyone else,, hes just got a lil flavor right ?? and so i started picking up more on the idea of,, what exactly defines a human ?? what makes the distinction btwn human and monster ?? like yeah the monster wasnt born of natural means and his body like,, isnt technically human,, but his soul and consciousness totally are !! he finds this beauty and gentleness in life that he adores and wants to protect !! hes so selfless and shares his only resources to survive with others (firewood, food) in order to ensure their survival !! he finds solace in nature and uses it as a way to reflect his own emotions !! he appreciates the arts and goes a journey to possess knowledge !! he feels grief and despair and he mourns !! hes empathetic and is able to share the feelings of those around him whether it be happy or sad !! the only thing he really wants is for others to see him and recognize him as one of their own and accept him as their companion !! hes literally.... JUST A PERSON but not ?? and its so damn unfair that hes out here protecting these people for a year and they even refer to him as a “kind spirit that must be watching over them” ,,, only to try and kill him upon sight ?? same with the lil girl he saved from drowing right ?? ppl only hate him bc hes different and scary lookin and yknow,, not born from conventional ways ,,, but imo,, that rlly doesnt make him any less “”human”” than anyone else in the book.

and thats ANOTHER point i wanna make,,, like if anything i feel like victor is even less human than his monster... like yeah at first hes fine but by the end of the book hes just,,, not even living anymore yknow hes just dedicating his life to the death of someone with no real motive but revenge. hes stopped using nature as a way to reflect his feelings, hes stopped feeling empathy for anyone other than the ppl that already died (and even then i feel like his empathy has sort of been twisted in a selfish sort of superficial way where hes only using them to fuel his hate and vengeful spirit), he cast away his love and appreciation for the gentleness and beauty of life and instead becomes cynical and driven by hate,,, he just does all this shit thats sorta like damn whos really the monster at this point yknow ?? OH i guess another point i could make here is that the action of creating life in the first place,, is kinda stepping out of the boundaries of humanity and trying to reach more of a godlike position /? so even with that action, victor was already starting to stray from being human. although i do admit that ambition is a huge part of being human... victors was a little too much you feel ??

i guess ill briefly touch on the ambition i saw in each character throughout the book since that could be another theme i could use and since i brought it up... uhh so obviously first is victor who is the most ambitious character we meet in the book and his goal was to find the secret to life and become a godlike figure who could create living beings. and he suceeded with his monster !! but then yknow as like o shit i messed up gotta go byYYYEEE !! next up we have the monster who at first isnt rlly all that ambitous he just,, wants to survive. but as he survives and learns about the world he realizes that he doesnt want to be alone and so thats where he gets his ambition : he wants to learn and speak the language and understand governments and hold eloquent conversations and bond with others and have companions. and that also,,, doesnt work too well for him lmao. the last major example is of our other lad, robert walton. im pretty sure he was on some long boat journey to ?? the north pole?? but it was the kind of journey you cant turn back from and you just GOTTA GET THERE and this man was determined to do just that. 

i looked up some other themes and theyre things like “expression through nature”, “solitude”, “ambition”, “creation”, “injustice”, “balance” and “revenge”... but i think that in some way these all sort of go back to my original point of the line between human and monster/ what it means to be human...

if anyone actually sees/reads this, id love feeback lmao bc i have no clue how to do this project :))

12/09/20

[benperorsolo]

I just want to present a little counter argument to something you said, that I'm not even sure I agree with, but I'm curious. You said Ben was abused by outside factors out of his control and succumbed, at least partially, to them. And true yes. But I've seen others say that theres been plenty of characters who have endured abuse and manipulation outside their control but still fought for what was good and did not decide to commit awful acts just because they themselves suffered from awfulness

My answer to this is that characters are not real people. Characters who are abused and end up lashing out and committing harm were written to do so, and characters who are abused and end up as heroes were written to do so also. In universe, yes, these characters have agency, but out of universe, which is the only thing that is relevant if you are attempting story criticism of story-as-created-object, they don't.

The writers are choosing what these characters do. JJ and Kasdan were the ones who made Ben kill his father. JJ and Kasdan were also the ones who designated Rey a hero despite her upbringing which easily could have been a villain origin story. Ben Solo did not turn to the dark side without JJ's permission, so to speak. And Rey wasn't a hero without it either. Neither Ben nor Rey made any choice that was not explicitly orchestrated by the writers.

If we are to claim that stories have messages and that they have meaning, we have to look at the story as a series of choices the writer made, and ask ourselves why the writers chose what they did. Blaming a character themselves for their actions is a Watsonian action that is valid for judging a story's internal consistency. But it's useless when you're trying to look outside of the fourth wall and analyze the story as a constructed thing with constructed meaning.

Stories are not history. They did not have to happen the way they did. Nothing about them is inevitable; everything about them is chosen. By someone.

What's the difference between a sympathetic character killing someone and a cardboard villain killing someone? Objectively, nothing. Murder is murder. Yet there is a difference between a sympathetic character and a one-note villain, and that's the amount of empathy the writers deliberately give you for the character. Characters whom the audience can understand and relate to are forgiven for things unrelatable characters rarely are because people root for things they understand. But this degree of empathy is not a result of anything the character independently did; a crime is a crime. It's a result of a writer deliberately giving a character space to explain themselves, so to speak.

Here's the deal: in real life, some people are abused, and they do not come out of it stronger or as better people or as role models. Some people get abused and it damages them to the point where they themselves perpetuate that cycle of violence onto others. Abuse is not for the purpose of building character. Sometimes people are victim and victimizer at the same time. It doesn't invalidate their abuse. This idea that your status as a victim is only valid if you come out of your abuse unscathed, undamaged, and palatable is harmful to literal real people. Many people in this very fandom can attest to this.

And here's the deal: in a fictional world where the writer is a God unto his characters, who can literally decide everything they do or don't do, how the author chooses to contextualize his characters' actions is on him. Rey is not a better person than Ben for resisting the temptation of evil when JJ chose to write Ben as falling to it and Rey as resisting it.

To use this rhetoric that "Rey was raised in the desert and didn't grow up to be a murderer" is entirely missing the point that the reason she didn't was because JJ wrote it so that she didn't. And in so doing, JJ et al created a message where some people are good abuse victims and just naturally get over it and heal in a socially acceptable way and some don't, and those that don't do not deserve our care, or in fact to live. The fact that we are even seeing people make this argument is because JJ wrote a movie that reinforced it.

Ben was written as a victim. From movie one we had Leia telling Han that Snoke was always there behind the scenes, corrupting him. As a literal line in the text. In JJ's own interviews for TFA he said that Ben's status as a villain "isn't about having a bad seed as a kid" and that "someone was watching their (Han and Leia's) boy". These were writing choices that JJ made about Ben's character. Ben and Rey are both victimized by different circumstances. The only difference is that Ben succumbed to child predation while Rey managed to pull herself up by her bootstraps in Desert Hellhole and come out a Hero. Again, because JJ told them to.

And so this leaves us with a nasty story where the writers chose to present the hero and the villain as sympathetic victims of abuse, except only the Good Victim is allowed to live. Ben sacrificed his life because he loved Rey, yes, but also because JJ and CT said so. I cannot analyze a story's meaning by looking at how characters feel who don't know they're in a story. I have to look at it as a piece of content that was produced by people who live in my world, as something that was intended to mean something. And this Good Victim/Bad Victim grossness is what they gave me.

[cannotgiveafuck]

Billy Batson & Captain Marvel identity analysis (long post ahead)

Alrighty then! So I contemplated posting this bc it's so closely tied to the wip fic, buuuut here it is. Ive never been really satisfied with how some media portray this character bc they either lean too far towards childish or angry, or divide the identities too much. And whilst writing the fic I thought about how I wanted to portray him and what that entailed. A long semi comprehensive ramble of headcanons and character analysis based on the individual and combined identities of Billy and Marvel!

First, we have Billy. This kid who's parents died on a work trip, was left in the care of a greedy/selfish old man that did not care for him at all, has bounced through foster homes for a plethora of reasons (some of which are behavioral or abusive), and ultimately decided trying to make it on the streets was his best option (before being picked up by Dudley).

Now, backstory wise, it's all very obvious that Billy would have trust issues, especially towards adults (and double towards adults who try to control him). His learned attitude towards those that set their eyes on him (both before and especially after becoming Marvel) is guarded and aggressively defensive, he's snarky and sarcastic, ready to flee at a moments notice, and scared of being once again used, abused, and tossed aside if he were to trust someone. But at his soft core he desperately wants to be cared for, he wants affection and love and family, he wants a safe and secure home, he wants to believe in good.

All of this bleeds into his attitude towards his peers, too. Before becoming Marvel, he's a bit jaded and lost - his wrecked home life creating the chasm that keeps him from opening up and relating to others, from making real friends (the few exceptions being friends he considers family, and whom he is very loyal and protective of). After Marvel, Billy doesn't even try to associate with kids his own age. He stops going to school and is so focused on trying to be a good hero, he has distanced himself even more. But also, all the situations that he is exposed to really matures him. He still enjoys video games and sports, but he's also worrying about keeping Fawcett City and the world safe and working with JL - he doesn't have time nor patience for naive and clueless kids. But since he still is a kid and wants to have fun, those he let's in he holds onto and divulges everything to.

However, despite his hard outer shell, I do believe Billy is good and tries to be good and wants to see the good in those around him. A prominent and reoccurring memory of his parents is them telling him to be a good kid. That very much shapes Billy's views and ideologies. He wants to be a good person, which means he needs to help others (however he sees fit, from stopping bullies to carrying an old ladys groceries), but also realize that there is good all around him in everyone else, too. He has kind neighbors, and a community that helps each other, he knows everyone has their own struggles and they may direct negative emotions outward but may just need a helping hand in return. Billy knows suffering and cruelty and does not want to cause that, he wants to end it. So, theres this conflict inside him that he views as being smart vs being good. His true sunshine and trusting demeanor is boosted when he is chosen by Shazam, because now he has this divine and worldly responsibility to do and be good. And while he does not hold value in himself (abandoned and abused orphan does not hold a high confidence or self esteem level), he also wants to prove that he is worthy of inheriting this power, that there is good in this world and in him.

Now, second we have Captain Marvel. This is where identities become...complicated. The way I see it, Marvel is a mesh of 'Billy Batson', 'The Potential Adult Billy Could Be', and 'The Vessel of The Greek Gods Powers'. Since I've gone over Billy's identity, it transfers onto Marvel pretty seamlessly. So as The Adult Billy, he is still Billy Batson, but the grown up version, comfortable in his skin and in social standings with others, he is without the limiting physiological responses and capabilities of being a child. Despite all his experiences, Billy is still a kid - a bit awkward in his growing body, he's impulsive with his emotional responses, he jumps to conclusions and is very one track minded, has a hard time putting words to thoughts or instincts and understanding certain things and intentions (situations being very black and white). But as Adult Billy who is Marvel, he still sees through the same eyes, but he can filter distractions and pause to think through reflexive emotions, and he has a better understanding on just how morally grey the world can be, a gained clarity on other intentions and livelihoods, and he can empathize and read other's emotions in more detail than just the basic happy/mad/sad. Basically, Billy's brain has physically grown to that of an adult.

On the other hand, there is also what I like to believe is a...sort of third will in what makes Captain Marvel. He is, for all intents and purposes, a vessel or an avatar of sorts. He is a Chosen Champion by the Wizard Shazam to wield the powers of the Greek Gods (specifically the Greek gods, bc...well, that's a whole other post to ramble on), hes the mortal connection between them and the human world, their gift to the humans as a protector, as the guiding light of good. He is a symbol and title beyond one person. It is much like the mantle of Batman being passed on, except instead of all the gadgets and tech and databases...it's experiences and memories and wisdom gained by the previous Marvels, and available when properly called upon. Captain Marvel is like a reincarnation every time there is a new chosen champion. Billy is himself, but there were also others before him, other Marvels that existed and lived that can be remembered.

There is, however, a weird side effect to this being that the more in touch and immersed with these previous Marvel's he becomes, the more he slips away from himself - less Billy and human, more ancient and disconnected. He loses Billy's mannerisms and speech pattern and warm empathy, he still follows the ideology of good, but the charisma is gone, he's distant and cold.

All of this makes for a very interesting and fun way of writing Marvel and Billy - in how they each think through situations, how they each interact with the same people, how they each react to everything. And that's including how the same people react and treat each of them differently. Someone may see and treat Billy as a kid, but with Marvel they interact with and see an adult, a peer. When someone knows who Marvel really is, they need to consciously remind themselves that Marvel is Billy is a kid, because literally everything about Marvel screams at their senses that he's an adult (sunshine naivety aside). He still walks and talks and looks and is capable of thinking like an adult. It's not a situation of a couple of kids standing on top of each other in a trenchcoat or a kid dressing and doing their makeup like an adult. Magic has made him an adult, sort of.

At the core of it, the one experiencing and remembering and feeling everything is a child. There is no separating that, he is a different face of the same coin. So while Marvel can handle the emotional and mental exhaustion and stress of the situations he is put in, Billy Batson is going to suffer through the replays when everything is done. Because superheroing is not all saving lives and being praised, it's seeing people be hurt and bleed, interacting with the worst of humanity and others, witnessing tragedies and death in small intimate encounters and in large numbers. He is the one that will have nightmares and trouble sleeping, he is the one that will bear the brunt of the trauma and remorse, navigating detailed memories of violence and how it felt to hurt, wondering why there are phantom pains and aches when his body is not damaged, all with no trusted support system to turn to (because if he does, will the JL just see him as a child who cannot handle being a hero? will they turn him away?). Billy is the one having his childhood and innocence ripped away from him for the sake of the world. There are consequences of being the chosen champion, and while Billy is willing to accept them, will continue to fight and uphold his divine duties, will put others before himself every time, it wont make be easy.

The potential of how complicated Billy and Marvel can be, and how other heroes cannot fully comprehend it without a trusted in depth discussion (only Black Adam can understand and lemme tell you, that's a hot mess) - that's what makes him and his situation so interesting and fun to write.

[lil-miss-methodical]

Season two has recently dropped and they’re stronger than ever. They’ve graduated into story form, taking our archetypes and fleshing them out a bit while still keeping the center that makes them so damn relatable.

This season the theme of looking back to understand the now was still very present, but this time instead of it being about the individual black person it was about our history in a collective form. This concept of an elite black society is hopeful and beautiful and I hope they go good places with it, they’ve set up the work to go good places with it.

I could speak on the genius of the soundtrack, the ridiculous awesomeness of that directing and camera work but we all know about that good shit. So instead I wanna focus on something I don’t think everyone understands. The messages.

To understand the main message of this season, I think its imperative to understand season one. When the show first came out the characters were archetypes of black people. Those people we become in America because of the race relations, how those things affect who we are, how they are heavily leading in our make up.

-   The mixed woman that over compensates for her white genetics. - The unappreciated/overlooked black woman - The black woman who hates living the black struggle - The outlier black (woman) - The carefree light skinned boy - The black (boy) who does not understand surface black culture - The moldable black (boy) who seems to fit in both worlds but finds himself comfortable in neither - The African (male) who has not lived the African American experience - The strong headed black man - The white (man) who means well

The first season presented us with this group and then put them in a position where they had to not only interact with white but with one another as well. The former is important because the interactions with the white is to show the everyday, on ever level, shit blacks have to put up with when it comes to race relations. The latter is important because its where the message hides. We watch these black students maneuver, all wanting a bit of the same thing but they hack away at one another constantly at ends with each other. Judging one another and always finding the other not worthy. We’re at constant stage of eliminating who gets to be apart of our black circle - even when it comes to other blacks (terms like Revoked and Cancelled) (we also have ‘you’re uninvited to the cookout’ for all other none blacks). But season one is not about mending fences with the non blacks, thats not the imagery they leave you with. No, season one presents us with this concept that we pick one another apart and instead of using our differences to get to where we're trying to go we often let it distance us, causing distinction between us as a whole. It highlights how we don’t give our people enough empathy while giving them this perspective lens that allows their story to be told from their view, showing them in their rawest most vulnerable moments. Its through the honest moments that the characters themselves start to understand one another.

So season one had two jobs - highlight our separation which is a problem for our people, and also frame them in a way that leads us to empathize and understand the character the best. Now the genius in this last part is they didn’t only do this by giving characters perspective views…but in also not giving them one. For example Joelle presents the unappreciated/overlooked black woman. In season one we get the close up moments of her in other peoples story. We see her overlooked but we really feel it when she doesn’t get her own episode. When she gets her episode this season, its everything. We’ve already built this bond of understanding and empathy with her, there is no outcry of - she’s just low-key jealous, because we’ve been there with her, we know for a fact that she has been overlooked. So again first seasons job is to get us to see our separation and open black people u so we can start to understand one another. The ending leaves us with a taste of seasons two’s mission as Sam sits beside Coco - our two characters that has had the greatest distinction and who knew each other the most but lacked empathy and understanding for each other the most - and she ask “how did the two of us get pitted against one another?”

So season two took on the path to presenting unity (its necessity for our people from one another) and also reenforcing that we as black people actively choose to be for our people, we can all be an asset for our people, no matter what archetype we fit into.

- Sam with her light skinned privilege can us that privilege for her own selfish rise or be a voice for blacks in avenues they can't obtain. - Joelle can let the bitterness of being unappreciated consume her and leave her stagnant or she can push on and keep fighting for her people. - Coco can dream of the white reality or she can look at her own path and realize her obstacles and use all the means necessary to get through or over those obstacles. People like that are the ones to see the obstacles and if they have the drive and the ambition they usually end up being the pocket runner for the culture. - A black man like Lionel can use his lack of education on black culture as an excuse of how he's not tied to its people or he can listen, learn, and still do right by his people (in this case its printing the truth and searching for the truth despite others telling him not to) - A black man like Reggie is seen as a threat and therefore expendable by other races because he's unapologetically black (and educated) and so he bares a brunt of being mistreated. He could let that turn him into what they consider him (a violent animal with no control) or he can stick to the guys of who he really is and excels to be and reach heights for himself and our people (which is the real threat he presents). - A man as moldable and as transitional as Troy can be the black best weapon or their biggest let down (because they can be molded into something for the opposing side). They have to find out who they are, what they want, and learn to use that skill to the best of their ability. - A white person can be well meaning...and problematic. Their job is to continue to question how or why they do or don't do something without assuming or speaking for the black community.

This season showed us their fears - being another dead black man, using her privilege against her people, not understanding and therefore not fitting into either world, being damage and trash to everyone around him, not being chosen always being second string, not achieving being just another marker in the world, being racist. And all these fears correlates to their identities as black people and at least for now none of them have given into or allowed themselves to be overcome with that fear. We see them try to push through and work together on small individual levels as well as the big scheme.

Oh course we are not insta friends. Of course theres still irks, but theres also the reminder to be mindful. When we sit amongst one another trying to come to a solution, don’t cross lines. Coco and Sam aren’t besties…but then what they have is deeper than that. They understand their roles in each others life and how they challenge one another for good instead of bad. Scenes with Coco and Sam feel very different than ones with Coco and Muffy. But Coco & puffy is a pairing that rarely ever work as a success - something else that was shown this season where in Muffy got the invite into the group and Coco of course didn’t. But they presented us with teams that did work - on individual and a mass levels…

Joelle & Coco trying to make Sam feel better and support her: Both admit their form of loving her is different but both can be good for her. Joelle and Sam radio partners: I love seeing Joelle in this light once she got to actually work instead of the friction of not being able to get a point in. Such an amazing concept because this is already how they communicate. Reggie and the Dean - booooy didn't see that one coming til it did, and it was brilliant. The Dean and reggie have different perspective of how to get to the end game, you never expect for their shit to be this damn powerful, but it was. If his treatment of his son and his give in nature to white people made me dislike the Dean, his treatment of Reggie made me question my view of him. Kelsey and Coco: They spent all season letting you down play Kelsey and then showed you just how shitty of a thing that was by showing how giving and great and at peace she is with who she is. Reggie and Troy: I really like the concept of Reggie and Troy being friends. They’re that different line again because the belief that someone like Reggie can respect someone like Troy. Everyone helping Troy realize how horrible of a person he can be: This sounds bad, but the raw honest truth he got in this episode from his old friends…is blessing. They were willing to give it to him in a time when he needed, a time he came in search of it, ready to actually take it in. Which led him to being able to be honest with himself and his own father. Brooke and Lionel: The great thing behind the Brooke and Lionel pair is there highlight on ‘crab in a barrel’ mentality. We’ve all grown up hearing it. This concept that we as black will try to get ahead stepping on, climbing ver, or shutting other blacks out because the opening is so narrow and theres only room enough for one of us. Tho here you have them admitting that they’re getting caught up, but they don’t have to. They can both reap success by working together. Lionel and Sam: I love Lionel and Sam together because the association of them being able to understand one another because of their shared experience of once feeling on the outside of black community/culture. Her because she’s mixed, and him because his lack of shared cultured knowledge and experiences. Theres this primal part of them that understands one another, this need and desire to belong. There is a lack of judgment and fake between them. And of course the main core scheme that took just about all the black faculty: What I loved about this twist - of coming in and sitting instead outside and rallying - is that it faces Rikki with all the blacks she’s hurting. It forces her into a place of having to face that while also not letting her voice get to the other side. She doesn’t have to face the entire of their ire with them outside, they’d just be a jumble of sounds she would us as an example of why they’re unacceptable. This group of black people coming together, its not derogatory, its not shady. They sit there in silence and allow their faces to show how unimpressed they are. And of course the secret black society which is a unity in itself

This season did a great job of pushing the theme throughout the plot, intertwining it into the plot and the characters themselves. They tease us again with the possible message of next season, which I cant wait to see.

Highlights/Moments I loved: Kelsey’s entire flourish. I was genuinely disgusted by how I thought of her last season compared to this season. They did a wonderful job of presented who she was without giving her her own episode and I’m hoping they elevate her up to main core. I liked her and Coco together - it was another pair that seem to have nothing in common but mixed so well. 

The reality of Al. Everyone sits around and talk about how they hate Sam for this reason or that, but the shows us how biased we are in the terms of men and women, def light skinned blacks. Because the show is very frank and raw with Sam and her behaviors, but they’ll allow Al to do something reproachable and the audience doesn’t reproach him at all. No complaints about his apparent colorism - I don’t ya’ll didn’t think oh boy out Joelle in small print at the bottom of the page with half of her face covered with bacon because she was ‘new’ to the team. Its not just the problematic its this aspect of freedom of just being a standard we have for the girls but not the boys. Its the same with the dark skinned counterparts.

Rikki: She was just so formidable. So unapologetic and fearfully the shit she said made sense. She exemplified the concept that we black people can view things in so many ways and use that thing to allow us to be who we choose to be. We’re so use to the rhetoric of those blacks that choose that side are lost, ill-informed and know-no-better. Thats in part in think because we as black people don’t want to settle into the reality of our own rejecting us. Look at the thing we Kanye West - he’s in the sunken place we say, he knows nothing of politics we say, those around him has influenced him, he’s lost his way. We don’t take it well when our own reject us, which is understandable - we want there to be a great reason for the chaos. But with Rikki thats not the case. She is well educated, well informed on both sides, she is calm and deliberate. Sam doesn’t know what to do with her at all. Tessa does a great job with Rikki. 

I always love in part what they do with Troy - last season they presented a black man conformable in his own sexuality - he is unbothered and unthreatened by Lionel’s. This season they give this black man a journey of self discovery. I don’t think blacks get presented with that imagery enough, def not black men. Getting in touch with yourself, waddling through your own shit, and the shit you’ve out others through. Letting them tell you what was wrong and processing that. Troy is a lost black male and it is imperative that he finds himself, that someone with his gift finds themselves. 

The line: “Yes! Slaves being clever and shit!” I love this line because I’ve always felt that we forget how brilliant a mind slaves had to have We get so boggled on the aspect of the cruelty the were in - understandably, but we forget that they had to create secret ways to communicate and exist. They literally had to be creative and shit and they get no shine for that. 

Two young black people being on an adventure. 

Blacks being passionate about whatever they’re doing - Sam with the radio, Lionel with writing, Joelle with anatomy, Troy with comedy

The aspect of black female friendship and supporting another woman having the moment be uncontested and just about another woman needs. We support everyone but enough medias don’t show that. 

The view of understanding ones own past, and then also understand the past of our people, which is often hidden, erased, or retold to better someone else - Listen pay attention and watch closely 

This aspect that we are human, we laugh, we shade, we’re flawed, we try, we fail and succeed, and the things others do hurt us and we should not have to pour that shit out there to the ones who want to see us hurt for people to be able to establish that we have these traits.

The concept that it is understandable to be any of these kind of black people, that there is greatness to be found in our brokenness and our lost. The presentation that we should have empathy for one another, to seek understanding instead of being so easily moved to hate because at the core we all want the same thing, fight individually for the same thing - to alleviate ourself of the reality of the black struggle, of being hated, and that feeling of being in quicksand with not enough people caring to help us get out. We have us - and in the end that can get us hella far.