#i understand it is tempting to just vote the guy you know. but come on. this isnt ur heart

[lokh]

ok. so about 3 hours out i make my final appeal

first. some of us wonder why mob is in this tournament. characters are entered by nomination and someone made a compelling argument for mob being low empathy. i can respect that

however.

nagai kei is THE dogshit empathy boy

theres an argument to be made that there are different types of empathy and also that empathy ≠ compassion. affective empathy relates to actually being affected by others emotions. emotionally (personal distress and empathic concern). cognitive empathy relates to understanding others' perspectives and what they might feel and why. kei is totally fucked over in both of them.

he cant relate to other people and he doesnt want to. he outright says "i've never worried about anyone else unless it was for show." someone dies in front of him and he goes 'oh well! not my problem anymore and it wasnt my fault' and gets on with his day. his ability to understand others' perspectives is limited and goal-oriented, knowing for example that having a dying partner makes one desperate but not truly understanding what that feels like, only that it makes one easy to manipulate. he gets an arc where he begins to feel inadequate for lacking empathy not because he feels guilty over it, but because it might somehow make him less effective at achieving his goals

and he chooses to stick by his low empathy

i dont agree that hes morally bankrupt and its true also that having low empathy doesnt make you morally bankrupt. in fact i think his principles are all he has, and that they do drive him to act compassionately. because he IS capable of that! time and time again he acts in ways that seem at odds with his low empathy, saving people he has shown no attachment to and putting himself in danger over it. remember the guy from earlier that i said died in front of him? surprise! they werent dead! and the first thing he does is go 'oh fucking Hell' and he goes back to save them. why? because he can and to him its what he should do. i actually also dont think he has zero empathy but if its a contest between him and mob (and it is.) then he definitely has less of it

more to the point, keis low empathy is central to both him as a character and also to the narrative. as it has been pointed out, mobs whole thing is about accepting and processing his own emotions without repressing them, and about connecting with other people. keis whole thing is literally going fuck that we ball low empathy forever ive never met an emotion in my life. and he chooses this and it works for him and its something that isnt changed about him! THATS swaggy

vote for kei PLEASE

Round 2; Group 1: Nagai Kei (Ajin) vs. Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100)

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 5

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Violence mentioned and referenced but not written. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 4 -- Part 6

Series Masterlist

Ransom was shutting down his computer for the day, dismissing his new assistant. It was taking some time but they were working through what they each needed to have a good working relationship. She was a lot more expensive and whiny than Y/N but he had to make peace with that. He checked the mirror, seeing the last traces of the black eye Curtis had given him. It’d been over a week and he’d be happy to see it finally gone. 

He turned when his door opened, expecting his assistant, but stopped in alarm when he saw the familiar, mustachioed face of Lloyd Hansen. 

“Ransom,” Lloyd smiled, holding his arms out. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“Lloyd,” Ransom hesitated. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“What? Can’t I just visit?”

“Well, given your current status of “exiled” I think you can understand my confusion.”

Lloyd’s grin faded a little, “oooh, who finally got the balls to punch you, Ran? I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before.”

“Well,” Ransom stalled, “it’s only fair. I was harassing one of his employees.”

“Fair? Ran how hard were you hit? That doesn’t sound like you.”

“I’ve grown, Lloyd. Now, I’ll ask again, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

Lloyd’s smile widened, “always the kiss ass. No wonder the Bosses put you up in the elite tiers. Schmoozing the old ladies to get them to vote, donate, whatever. That was never my forte.”

Ransom huffed, “certainly not for a lack of willingness to talk. Can I get you a drink?”

“You got the good whiskey,” Lloyd asked before snorting a laugh. “Who am I kidding? Of course you’ve got the good stuff! Make it a double.”

Ransom turned to get the drinks and positioned himself so he could keep an eye on him while also seeming to not pay attention. He poured the drinks and handed Lloyd one before sitting down, gesturing for Lloyd to do the same. Lloyd took a long sip and nodded appreciatively. 

“So,” Lloyd remarked, “of course I am here on unfinished business.” Ransom nodded in understanding. “I was kicked out of my territory because the higher ups didn’t like how I handled things. You’d think guys with their background wouldn’t mind a little more blood on their hands. I got results, they kicked me out. I’ve finally got things sorted out and built up to take over everything. They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

Ransom's eyebrows shot up, “everything? You don’t want to be in charge of just the Gar- intel gathering anymore? The empire’s grown since you were last here. Are you sure you can handle it all?”

“That’s where you come in, pretty boy,” Lloyd retorts before taking another sip. “We both know public relations ain’t my thing. You be the face of everything, keep your nice lifestyle, maybe even make it cushier, and I’ll handle all the dirty work. You know, the fun side of things.”

“Such a generous offer. How long do I have to think about it?”

“By the time I’ve finished my drink.”

Ransom nods, “so I’d still be doing all the schmoozing and kiss-ass work?”

“Yes,” Lloyd acknowledged, taking another long sip. “But you’d have a much bigger allowance and a lot more support in the harassment of employees.”

“It’s a very tempting offer,” Ransom conceded. “May I ask the repercussions if I decline?”

“Well, I can’t exactly have you telling the others that I’m in town, let alone that I have plans.” He raises an eyebrow while opening his jacket, showing Ransom the gun he has strapped to his chest. 

Ransom nods and contemplates, watching Lloyd’s drink slowly disappear. “It is a good deal, but what assurances do I have that your plan will work? I’m already on thin ice with the Bosses. If they find out I helped you in any way, even by not mentioning your visit, it’ll be a death sentence for me, too.”

“Ransom, I’m hurt,” Lloyd mocked. “You think I would even tell you this much if I wasn’t certain of my victory?”

“In my defense, you’ve been found out before.”

Lloyd sighed, “I suppose you’re right. Fine.” Lloyd drinks the last of his whiskey and sets the glass down before standing up, “either you agree to help me and get a much more self-indulgent lifestyle, or you turn me down and end up dead. You have no other guarantees in life.”

“How do you know I won’t just tell them you’re here?”

“Because you know, damn well, I’ll do so much more than just give you a black eye,” Lloyd glowered. “I’ve got my own comm guys monitoring all of your devices as well as a few well placed bugs. You won’t be able to do anything to warn them without my knowing. And neither of us would really enjoy your screams as I make an example out of you.”

Ransom glared up at Lloyd, “well. I guess I don’t have much of a choice then. I’ll be expecting my first paycheck soon. I’ve got an assistant to win over.”

“That cute one who just left?”

“No, she’s the temporary replacement,” Ransom huffed. “My last assistant was the fat one?” Ransom searched Lloyd’s face for any sign he knew of the woman he was talking about but found none.

“Huh, never would’ve taken you to be interested in the bigger ladies,” Lloyd smiled. “That’s usually my demographic.”

“I have a new appreciation for them,” Ransom professed. “I blame you for getting the idea in my head.”

Lloyd laughed, “now that’s something I’ll happily take the blame for.”

“Hey, Jake,” you ask as you hesitantly approach Jensen. 

He looks up from his work, “Hey Teach! What are you doing here? I thought it was your day off?”

“I thought so too,” you admit. “This…this is going to sound weird, but I think Ransom might be in trouble.” Jake’s brows furrowed in confusion and you continue, “I’ve been getting a bunch of gifts from him. They’ve been getting delivered seemingly nonstop since yesterday. I was gonna just throw them out, let him waste his money, but then I…I may have picked up a pattern?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well,” you hesitate, “this is going to sound paranoid, but I noticed that all of the gifts he got me were the same gifts some of his characters used when they had to silently indicate they needed help. He sent me begonias. Begonias mean “Beware” in flower language so whenever Mrs. Nylund wanted to warn her secret lover her husband was home, she’d spend hours working on the begonias. He also sent me orange lilies. When Miss Petrillo sent her mother yellow lilies, it meant she was fine but orange lilies meant she was in danger.”

Jake was listening patiently, nodding, “I dunno, it could just be those flowers were on his mind.”

“I thought that, too,” you admitted. “But then the jewelry started coming in. A necklace and earring set that are an exact match for the ones Lady Devereaux would fidget with as a signal to her security to remove the person she was talking to. An amulet with a challenge coin, just like Mr. Bryson sent to his brother as a silent signal for help. The list goes on.”

“That is pretty strange,” Jake admitted. “Since he was put on notice by the higher ups we have had a couple bugs added to his place.” He turns to his computer and starts typing, “let me check if they’ve picked up any unusual ac– No. No, you don’t.” Jake’s demeanor suddenly gets serious as he gives the computer his full focus, typing faster than you can register. “Oh, you’re a feisty one. You’re not getting into my systems you bastard. Aww, you really think that’ll work? Well watch me counter with this magic!”

He goes on for several minutes before finally sitting back and letting out a big breath. He looks at you, “I think you’re right. I think Ransom is in trouble.”

Part 4 -- Part 6

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would. 

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[apparitionism]

Bonus 4

First, a PSA: If you are eligible to vote in next week’s US election, please VOTE FOR HARRIS as well as every other Democratic candidate on the ballot, and do what you can to persuade as many other people as you can to do the same. I assume anyone who bothers to read my writing is smart enough to understand why that’s necessary—and why engaging in any sort of protest-vote or sit-this-one-out charade is counter to the interests of most living breathing people at this point in history.

Anyway. Here I offer the final part of last year’s Christmas story... again and as usual, where were we? I recommend the intro to part 1 for where we are, canon-wise (S4, essentially, but diverging); beyond that, Myka has just returned to the Warehouse after a holiday retrieval in Cleveland (Pete, in town visiting his family, was tangentially involved), where Helena, whom Myka hadn’t seen since the Warehouse didn’t explode, served as her backup—a situation facilitated by Claudia as something of a Christmas bonus. Post-retrieval, Helena and Myka shared a meal at a restaurant; this was a new experience that went quite well until, alas, Helena was instructed (by powers higher than Claudia) to leave. Thus Myka returned home, both buoyed and bereft... and here the tale resumes. I mentioned part 1, but for the full scraping of Myka’s soul, see part 2 and part 3 as well.

Bonus 4

Late on Christmas Day, Myka is heading to the kitchen for a warm and, preferably, spiked beverage, intending to curl up with that and a book—well, maybe a book; a restless scanning of her shelves had left her drained and decisionless, hence the need for a resetting, and settling, beverage—and to convince herself to appreciate the peace of these waning Christmas hours. She peeks into the living room, just to assess the wider situation, and regards a sofa-draped Pete. He returned from Ohio barely an hour ago, which Myka knows because she had heard Claudia exclaim over his arrival. Then things had gone quiet.

Now, he appears to be napping.

Myka tries to slink away.

“Claud mentioned about your backup,” he says as soon as her back is turned, startling her and proving she’s a terrible slinker. Small favors, though: at least she hadn’t already had her beverage in hand and so isn’t wearing it now. “That had to be weird,” he goes on, sitting up.

She’s been wondering whether the topic would come up, whenever they happened to get beyond how-was-your-trip pleasantries... she entertains herself for a moment with the idea of referring to Helena, specifically with Pete, as “the topic.” So she tries it: “‘Weird’ does not begin to describe the topic.” It is entertaining, as a little secret-layers-of-meaning sneak. But there’s yet more entertainment in the offing, with its own secret layers: “Incidentally, speaking of weird—which I’m sure was also mentioned—I met your cousin. Thanks for giving her an artifact. Very Christmas of you.”

He rounds his spine into the sofa like he’s trying to back his way through the upholstery and escape. “Don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know it was an artifact.”

Myka is tempted to keep him guessing about her feelings, but she doesn’t really have the energy; she gives up on entertainment and tells the truth: “I’m not mad. I’m serious: thank you.”

“I think you��re trying to trick me,” he skeptics. “Soften me up for something. But if that’s for real, then you should thank my mom more than me.”

Pete’s mother. The extent of Jane Lattimer’s role in Myka’s life is... surprising. Then again the extent of her role in Pete’s life has turned out to be surprising too, and that’s probably a bigger deal, all things considered.

Pete goes on, “Because I was gonna blame her, but should I give her props instead? It was her idea to give the little feather guy to Nancy, because of how after I got it I saw that it’d probably PTSD you.”

“I appreciate the seeing, but... wait. After you got it. How’d you get it in the first place?”

“I was in this antique store,” Pete says.

As if that explains everything—when in fact it explains nothing. In further fact, it unexplains. “Why were you in an antique store? According to you, you hated those even before the Warehouse turned them into artifact arcades.”

“Mom was picking something up there, and this guy showed it to me.”

“Your mom, this guy...” Myka is now beyond suspicious. “What did this guy look like?” A pointless question. As if knowing that could help her... as if anything could really help her. This is madness. “Fine. It doesn’t matter what he looked like, because I’m stopping here. I can’t keep doing this. For my sanity, I can’t.”

“Keep doing what?”

“Tracing it back. You win. You all win.”

“Do we? Doesn’t feel like it. And that doesn’t seem like a reason you’d be thanking me.”

“No. That isn’t. But as of now I’m trying to keep myself from focusing on... let’s call it the causal chain.”

“I’d rather focus on the popcorn chain.” He points to the strands that loop the Christmas tree.

They are the tree’s only adornment. Every prior holiday season of Myka’s Warehouse association, Leena has decorated the B&B unto a traditional-Christmas Platonic ideal; this year, in her absence, Myka, Steve, and Claudia, trying to replicate that, had purchased a tree. And transported it home. And situated it near to plumb in the tree stand, which was an exhausting exercise in what they earnestly assured each other was complicated physics but was really just physical incompetence.

They had then settled in to do the actual decorating, starting with popcorn strings... but once they’d finished those, they were indeed finished, pathetically drained of holiday effort. And they’d succeeded in that initial (and sadly final) project only because, as they’d all agreed once they’d strung the popcorn, Pete hadn’t been there to shovel the bulk of their also-pathetic popping efforts into his mouth.

“Take them down, slurp them up like spaghetti if you want,” Myka says now. “Christmas is pretty much over.” The statement—its truth—makes her stew. At Pete? But the situation isn’t ultimately his fault, no matter what part he played. And why is she so set on assigning, or marinating in, this vague blame anyway? She got something she wanted: time with Helena. It didn’t work out as perfectly as she’d wished it would, but she got it.

She tries to resettle: her heart to remembrance, her brain to appreciation.

The doorbell rings, its old-fashioned rounded bing-bong resounding from foyer to living room and beyond, bouncing heavily against every surface. Myka lets the vibrations push her toward the kitchen; she’s had enough of interaction for now. Her beverage and book, whichever one will provide some right refuge, await. As do remembrance and appreciation.

She hears Pete sigh and the sofa creak; he must have shoved himself from it in order to lurch to the foyer. A minute later, he yells, “Guess what! Christmas might not be over!”

Still kitchen-focused, Myka yells back, “If that’s not Santa himself, you’re wrong!”

“Never heard of that being one of her things!” Pete shouts, even louder.

“Quit shouting!” Myka bellows, so loud that she drowns out her own initial registering of what he’s said, which then starts to resonate in her head, a stimulating hum that resolves into meaning... her things? Her things... Myka’s torso initiates a turn; her body knows what’s happening, even if her brain—

“Hey, H.G.,” Pete says, and now every part of Myka knows.

Except her eyes, but once she moves to the foyer to stand behind Pete, they know too: There Helena is. Her body. Embodied. The illumination of her, in the foyer semi-dark... her bright eyes catching Myka’s, warming to the catch... oh, this.

Seeing the sight—greeting, once again, her perfect match—she is struck dumb.

There’s movement behind her, though, and she turns to see Steve and Claudia poking their heads into the space like meerkats—well, no, in South Dakota she should think prairie dogs... but they’re both built more like meerkats than prairie dogs, so she should probably keep thinking meerkats out of... respect? Whatever: they’re animal-alert, heads aswivel, faces alight. It surely signifies something.

Turning back to Helena, trying to get a voice in her mouth, she coughs out, “You’re back? Now? I mean, already? How did you—”

“To quote myself: ‘when I can, I will,’” Helena says, as matter-of-factly as anyone could possibly speak while maintaining intense eye contact with one person, and Myka thanks all gods and firefighters above that she is herself that person. “Now, not forty-eight hours later, I could. Thus I did. I should note that I’m unsure as to why I could, but perhaps it’s a gift horse?” Her focus on Myka does not waver. Pete and the meerkats might as well not exist, and Myka in turn is mesmerized.

“Maybe that’s the horse you rode in on,” Claudia says. Is she trying to break the spell? Myka wishes she wouldn’t... she ideates shushing her, even as Claudia goes on, “But better late than never, Christmas-wise, right?”

“Did you enjoy your additional portion of squash?” Helena asks Myka, ignoring Claudia’s interjection. Her tone is formal, presenting public, but her question is for Myka alone.

“It was very good for my heart,” Myka says. She doesn’t add, though she could, And so was that question.

Helena smiles like she heard both good-fors—like she’s grateful for both—and Myka thinks, for the first time out loud in her head, She feels the same way I do.

It’s... new. Different. Perfect? Not yet, the out-loud-in-her-head voice instructs.

But she can make a move in that direction. “Please put your suitcase in my room,” she says. Out loud, outside her head. Realing it.

“I will,” Helena says. She takes up her case and moves toward the stairs, presumably to real that too.

It renders Myka once again enraptured. She is taking her suitcase to my room. My room. She is.

The first stair-creaks that Helena’s ascent occasions sound, to Myka’s eagerly interpretive ears, approving.

Claudia and Steve don’t even blink. Pete does—well, more the opposite; he widens his eyes in the cartoony way.

But then he turns on his heel, Marine-brusque and not at all cartoony, and exits the space. Myka doesn’t know what to make of that. She’ll most likely have to address the topic—in fact, “the topic”—with him later. Fortunately, later isn’t now.

She does know, however, what to make of Steve and Claudia’s aspect: “I’m sensing some ‘aren’t we clever’ preening,” she accuses.

“We are clever,” Claudia says, dusting off her shoulder. “More Fred. Don’t sweat it.”

Exasperating. “Don’t sweat it? As I understood the situation, Fred was a retrieval and an insanely expensive dinner. Are we doing that again, or is she back for good?”

“She’s back for nice,” Claudia says.

Steve jumps in with, “To answer your question: we’re not a hundred percent sure.”

“See, we made a deal,” Claudia says.

“With whom?” Myka asks.

“Santa?” Claudia says, but without commitment. Myka’s response of an oh-come-on face causes her to huff, “Fine. Pete’s mom and company. And Mrs. F. And even Artie, in absentia.”

“What kind of deal?” Myka asks, because while she can’t dispute the indisputably positive fact that Helena is here, she mistrusts any deal involving Regents. Pete’s mom aside. Or Pete’s mom included: She can’t stop her brain from stirring, stirring once again to life those causal-chain questions: What’s being put in motion this time?

“A kind of deal about which things they’re willing to let us—well, technically Steve—say are nice,” Claudia pronounces, as if that explains everything.

Myka is very tired of proffered explanations that actually unexplain.

Steve says, “Claudia finally found the file on the pen. Seems that Santa’s list, once made, is kind of ridiculously powerful. And it turns out you can put a situation on the list.”

“For example,” Claudia supplies, “H.G. and you. Getting to be in each other’s... proximity.”

Steve adds, “And yours isn’t the only one I put there. That was part of the deal.”

“So you’re letting the pen reward nice situations with... existing,” Myka says. “And are you storing it on some new ‘Don’t Neutralize’ shelf? So nobody accidentally bags the existence out of them?”

Claudia says, “Kinda. At least for a while.”

This all seems deceptively, not to mention dangerously, easy. “But: personal gain, not for,” Myka points out.

“Right,” Steve says. “So here’s a question: what does ‘personal gain’ actually mean? The manual doesn’t have a glossary. So we’re trying to work it out. Let’s say Claud uses an artifact and then makes this utterance: ‘My use of this artifact was not for personal gain.’ And let’s say I assess that utterance as not a lie. The question remains, are the Warehouse and Claud and I agreeing on the definition of ‘personal gain’?”

“The question remains,” Myka echoes, fretting. “And the answer?”

“We’ll see,” Steve says.

It’s destabilizing, but that’s the Warehouse’s fault, not Steve’s. “I just hope the artifact won’t downside you for any disagreement. Because you’re remarkably nonjudgmental, and—”

“With a Liam exception,” Steve notes. “Or several. Ideally, though, the Warehouse and I can work through these things like adults. Unlike me and Liam.”

Myka respects his honesty. And yet: “I’m having a seriously hard time ideating the Warehouse as an adult.”

“We’re working through that too,” Steve concedes.

“You clearly have the patience of a saint.”

Steve chuckles. “Pete’s your partner, right? And in another sense, H.G. might be too?” Myka waves her hands, no-no-too-soon, because suitcases notwithstanding, she has certainly in the past thought she was making a safe all-in bet, only to lose every last copper-coated-zinc penny of her metaphorical money. “No matter what we call anybody,” he continues, “I think you get a lot more patience practice than I do. I’m just dealing with one little Warehouse and its feelings.”

“Aren’t its feelings... unassimilable?” she asks. “Or at least, shouldn’t they be?” It’s a building. Whatever its feelings, they should be talking about it like it’s an alien, not somebody who’s in therapy. Or somebody who should be in therapy.

“Maybe,” Steve says. “Or maybe not. That was part of the deal too, that I would test out how it feels. About personal gain specifically here, eventually maybe more. But if it has a meltdown...”

“Ah. We cancel the test, neutralize the pen, and face the consequences.”

Steve nods. “But ideally, if that happens, we will have leapfrogged whatever the looming Artie-and-Leena crises are. The two of them coming back here safely are the other situations we niced, as part of the deal.”

Claudia adds, “My big fingers-crossed leapfrog is over their stupid administrative ‘keep H.G. away from Myka and everybody else who loves her’ dealy-thingy. We’re hoping they’ll just forget about whatever their dumbass reasons for that were when they see how great it is for her to be back.”

“Dealy-thingy? Have you been talking to Pete?” Myka asks, trying for silly, for light—so as to deflect that “love her” arrow.

“Not about that. But wait, are you saying he loves her too? I mean I figured he was okay with her after the whole Mom-still-alive thing, but his Houdini out of here just now makes me think he’s not quite all the way to—”

“Never mind,” Myka says, as a command.

Claudia squints like she wants to pursue it. Myka crosses her arms against any such idea, in response to which Claudia says, “Fine. Here’s some funsies you’ll like better. Making that list, you’ve gotta have balance. Naughty against the nice.”

“And you think I’ll like that because?”

“I talked to Pete’s cousin, a little pretty-sure-we-don’t-have-to-tesla-you-but-let’s-make-super-sure exit interview. Heard some things about a guy. Bob? Seemed like a good candidate.”

Well. Pete had been right on several levels about Christmas not being over yet. “That’s the best news I’ve had in the past... I don’t know. Five minutes?” Other than the Pete-vs.-“the topic” question, it’s been an absurdly good-news-y several minutes.

Claudia goes on, “Personal gain, what is it? There’s also a warden from that place I don’t like to remember being committed to who’s about to have a Boxing Day that’ll haunt him longer than he’s been haunting me.”

That definitely raises questions—flags, even—about “personal gain” in a definitional sense, but letting all that lie seems the better part of valor, so Myka asks Steve, “Any Liam on there?”

“Too personal to let the Warehouse anywhere near,” he says, but with a smile.

Myka smiles too. “Would that I could say the same about my situation.”

Claudia snickers. “Your situation is Warehouse-dependent. Warehouse-designed. Warehouse-destined.”

“All the more reason said Warehouse shouldn’t object to easing the pressure,” Steve says.

“Are you kidding?” Claudia says. “Its birth certificate reads ‘Ware Stress-Test House.’”

Myka appreciates their positions—Steve’s in particular, even as she internally allows that Claudia’s is probably more accurate—but she would appreciate even more their ceasing to talk about her situation like they’re the ones whose philosophy will determine how, and whether, it succeeds. Or even proceeds.

And she would most appreciate their ceasing to talk about her situation entirely. So that she can go upstairs and be in her situation, because Helena hasn’t come back downstairs, a fact for which Myka’s rapidly overheating libido has provided a similarly overheated reason: she is waiting, up there in the bedroom, for Myka.

Which thought is of course followed by Helena’s preemption of same: she descends the stairs and presents herself in the foyer.

Damn it, Myka’s disappointed libido fumes.

Sacrilege! an overriding executive self chastises, and it isn’t wrong, for again, here Helena is. To fail to appreciate that—ever—is an error of, indeed, biblical, or anti-biblical, proportions.

In any case, now four people are just standing here, awkwardness personified.

Helena flicks her eyes briefly toward Myka—it seems a little offer of “hold on”—then turns to Steve and Claudia. “I didn’t greet either of you directly when I arrived. I apologize. Claudia darling, it warms my heart to see you... and this is of course the famous Steve, whose acquaintance I’m delighted to make at last.”

Striking to witness: Helena has essentially absorbed the awkward into her very body and transmogrified it into formality.

Myka loves her.

“Famous?” Steve echoes, like she’s said “Martian.”

“I’ve heard much of you,” Helena says, with an emphasizing finger-point on “much.”

Steve smiles his I’m-astonished-you’re-not-lying smile, through which he articulates, “Likewise? I mean, likewise, but with more. Obviously.”

Yes, Myka loves her: for her charming self alone, but also for how that charm extends; her sweet attention to Steve has him immediately smitten. Myka’s the one to catch Helena’s gaze now, intending merely to convey gratitude, but to her gratification it stops Helena, causing her to abandon her engagement with Steve.

Maybe she and Myka can stand here and gaze at each other forever. It wouldn’t be everything, but it would be something. Second on second, it is something. It is something.

Claudia interrupts it all, saying to Helena, “Can I hug you?”

Myka doesn’t begrudge the breaking of this spell, particularly not with that; she had been selfish, before, greedy to keep Helena and her eyes all to herself. She also doesn’t begrudge the ease of the hug in which Claudia and Helena engage; getting a hug right is simpler when its purpose is clear. And clearly joyful.

Over Claudia’s shoulder, Myka’s and Helena’s gazes lock yet again, and it’s spectacular.

However: it also seems to introduce a foreign element into the hug, some friction that Claudia must sense, for she disengages and says, “So. I have to go. I just remembered I have an appointment to not be here.”

Steve says, “I feel like I was supposed to remember to meet you there, wasn’t I,” Steve says, and Myka has never been able to predict when he’ll be able to play along instead of blurting “lie” (even if he does often follow such blurts with some version of an apologetic “but I see the social purpose”).

“I don’t think you were,” Claudia says, “because I’m revising the gag; it makes more sense if I just now made an appointment to not be here. So you couldn’t be remembering some nonexistent-before-now appointment.”

“But I still think the appointment ought to be with me, gag-wise and otherwise,” Steve says, doggedly, still playing. “In the first and second place.”

“Is this the first place?” Claudia muses, faux-serious, now rewarding his doggedness. “Is the appointment in the second place?”

They could who’s-in-the-first-place this for days, so Myka intervenes, “In the first place, if this is a gag, it desperately needs workshopping. But in the second place: Scram!”

“You mean to the second place,” Claudia sasses.

Myka scowls, wishing she could growl proficiently.

 Claudia’s eyes widen. “Scramming. Best scrammer,” she says, sans sass, proving the actual growl unnecessary. Interesting.

“Except that’s about to be me with the gold-medal scram,” Steve objects and concurs.

Myka pronounces, “I’ll be the judge of who’s what. Once you actually do it.”

“You’ll award the medals later though, right?” asks Claudia. Her words are jokey, yet her tone is weirdly sincere, as if Myka might forget they had scrammed on her behalf, and that such amnesia would be hurtful.

“Participation trophies,” Myka semi-affirms, “in the form of a healthy breakfast.” She adds, internally, Take the damn hint.

After much winking and nudging, the comedians at last absent themselves, and Myka and Helena are alone.

Unfortunately that doesn’t immediately yield the perfected situation Myka seeks, first and foremost because she doesn’t know what comes next. Take your own damn hint, she tells herself, but... how? They need privacy, and the only reasonable place for that is where Helena’s suitcase rests: upstairs. Myka can’t magic them there, so what incremental movement will be recognizable as an appropriate beginning?

She casts a wish for Helena to ease it all, as she had with Claudia and Steve, but Helena is stock-still, offering no increment. For both of them, upstairs seems to have become a different place... the promised land?

Nothing is promised, she reminds herself. Some things are newly possible, but nothing is promised. Certainly not when the Warehouse is involved.

So maybe the point, probably the point, is that it’s incumbent on Myka and Helena to realize the possibility.

Nevertheless, here they stick.

After a time—most likely shorter than Myka feels it to be—Helena announces, “Pete and I have had a chat.” Her articulation of “chat” shapes it into a synonym for “fight.” “Who won?” Myka asks.

“I believe it was a draw. He opened by saying he ‘didn’t get how far along this thing had got.’” Hearing Pete’s diction in Helena’s mouth is disorienting. “He then said he wants to protect you.”

That’s so Pete. “I don’t need protecting.”

Eyebrow. “I noted that I want to protect you too.”

That thrills Myka. At the same time, she wants to object to it nearly as much as to Pete’s assertion... internal contradictions, what are they? She lands weakly on, “I hope that persuaded him.”

“Pete finds deeds more persuasive than words,” Helena says. “Thus I’m ‘on probation where Myka’s concerned,’ until he determines I won’t damage you.”

That’s so Pete too. But. “That is my determination.”

“I expressed a similar sentiment. He responded, ‘And how’d that go last time?’” Helena’s wince after she says this is awful, and Myka dares to assuage it, stepping toward Helena with open arms, drawing her into an embrace.

This time, their hug—simpler because its purpose is clear—works, bodies soft-querying at the start, then firm, intentional. Not quite catching fire, but this is a palpable first cut into whatever membrane of uncertainty is obstructing their movement.

Slow, slow, they move apart. Yet they stay close, the embrace’s softness lingering as Helena says, “Selfishly, I didn’t concede his point, which is in any case indeed down to your determination. But I did note that circumstances have changed since then. And to be fair I must report that he allowed they have.”

“You’re both right,” Myka says. But: “Was this Cleveland mission contrived to... further change the circumstances?”

“I didn’t contrive it,” Helena says, fast. “I would have, if I could, but I didn’t.”

“I’m not saying you did. I’m saying I always wonder, because I can’t help it, how much, or how little, of what happens just happens.”

“And the rest—or if I’m understanding your implication, the bulk—would be...?”

“Some sort of social engineering.”

“On whose part?” Helena asks.

That’s disingenuous. “Your engineers of choice. Regents. Mrs. Frederic. Mr. Kosan. Ententes thereof.”

Helena runs a hand through her hair—frustration at the thought of those entities? Or just showing off? Then she shrugs, as if to dismiss both possibilities. “I favor any engineering that places me in private proximity to you.”

The words are beyond welcome. And yet. “I’m not objecting to it. I’m just...”

“Objecting to it.”

“No. Questioning its provenance.”

“Why?”

That brings Myka up short. “What?”

“If it produces an outcome you desire, what does the provenance matter? In this case, at the very least.”

It’s a reasonable question, and Myka’s most-honest answer would have something to do with the ethical acceptability of poisonous-tree fruits. For now, though, she goes with, “Because I don’t like being manipulated.”

“Don’t you?” That’s flirty, a near-whisper, compelling Myka to lean even closer. Helena knows—she’s always known—the power she has over Myka. And she’s always known how—and when—to wield that power.

“The manipulator matters,” Myka says, responding to the flirt, accepting the push away from ethics.

“Then would that I could in truth say I contrived that relatively banal retrieval. And sabotaged the elevator, so as to draw our attention to... that to which it was drawn.”

“I can’t say I was displeased with the drawing,” Myka allows. “So if you had...”

Helena moves her lips, a sly hint of curve, and says, “Oh, but perhaps I’ve manipulated you into that sentiment.” Again, an ostentatious flirt.

Myka’s knowing that flirt-show for what it is? That’s Helena-specific. In the past Myka has always had to be told when she was being flirted with: “He was interested in you,” an exasperated friend would explain of an interaction Myka found incomprehensible, and she would cringe internally at her inability to recognize such an apparently basic, obvious display. But with Helena she’s never needed a flirt translator. From the first lock of gaze, unto this night’s myriad connections; from that first brush of finger, unto the way Helena has just allowed their hug to linger; from the first just-for-you conspiratorial grin, unto this very moment’s slip of smile—all the advances, heavy and light, have been legible to Myka.

And based on what she is now reading, she has no ground left. “Fine. I like being manipulated if it means.” She clears her throat. “If it means I get closer to you. You win.”

“Do I?” Here’s the disingenuity again, but now Myka understands its intentional irony. Helena follows up with, “This establishment has no elevator,” Helena says, like it’s nothing more than a structural observation that checks a box on a form, a minor note in an overall architectural assessment.

“No,” Myka agrees.

“How fortunate,” Helena says.

Myka waits for the conclusion, the help... but it’s not forthcoming, probably in a that’s-down-to-your-determination-as-well sense. The next cut is clearly Myka’s responsibility too. So: “It has stairs though,” she offers. “That go. Up. Well, both down and up. Of course. As stairs do.” Stop talking, she tells herself, but her nerves don’t heed the advice. “As they have to? I don’t know; do they? Escher?”

“Ess-sherr,” Helena echoes, clearly uncomprehending. That she lets Myka hear her knowledge gap is a gift. For Christmas?

“He’s an artist. I promise I’ll explain later. Eventually. Anyway the stairs. I think you just used them? Without incident?”

Myka expects a comeback. She gets none, which leaves her in some non-place, absent as it is of Helena-attitude... but what form had she expected such attitude to take? Aggression? Naughtiness? Or “naughtiness”... does the lack of all that mean Helena is offering a self more authentic than the one who charms and flirts? But that doesn’t seem quite right, for the charms and the flirts have always seemed clearly intrinsic Helena-talents. Deployed, yes, but not inauthentic. So if this Helena is deploying fewer such talents, maybe it’s that she’s... less?

Ironically—of course ironically, because all of this is so, so layered like that—a reduced Helena is an even greater bonus.

All of this, which Myka had better figure out, fast, how to appreciate and accommodate. “Of course that’s no guarantee that travel will go well,” she begins. “So we should try not to trip on the stairs... wait, no, that would make it our problem, which I don’t think this ever was. Maybe better: we shouldn’t let the stairs trip us.” She considers. “But no again: what I really mean is, we shouldn’t give the stairs a reason to trip us. Right?”

Helena looks at her and blinks, charmingly blank. “I have no idea. Are you through?”

“I have no idea either,” Myka admits, still directionless without Helena’s attitudinal lead. Is this, like the semi-botched hug of two days ago, a seemingly terrible sign?

“Merely delay.” A little head-shake follows. Signifying disappointment? Making light of Myka’s inability to get through? Then Helena says, “And yet I don’t know how much more delay I can withstand.”

Those raw words are mediated by nothing more than molecules—the nitrogen-oxygen-argon-et-cetera invisibilities conveying waves to Myka’s ossicles—and for the second time, Myka ideates, in full awe, She feels the same way I do.

“Me either,” she says, literally heartfelt, sending the words back, a final push through everything, molecules and otherwise, that has stood between them.

Testing, she offers Helena her hand. Helena takes it.

These hands together: not a first. Not even a second. In the present circumstance, that translates to something very like “comfortingly familiar.”

Under the aegis of that comfort, they ascend the stairs, Myka leading the way, marveling that she can. Against her pulling hand, Helena offers what seems a single erg of resistance, a display, an I-am-letting-you affirmation.

They cross the threshold of Myka’s room, and then. Then, after Myka makes one turn and twist, a closed non-elevator door stands, for once and at last, between them and the rest of the world.

Closed, the door is, but not locked. In the door-closing instant, turning the lock—adding its presumptive click—had struck Myka’s hand as overly brazen: that’s a frustrating flinch her hand will have to work out with whatever part of her brain-body complex was certain enough to start this, start it by saying what she did about the suitcase... the same part that keeps telling her that Helena’s feelings match hers.

As Myka turns her back on the now-closed door, she sees her bed. She sees her bed. Disconcerting, in this new now, how large a percentage of the room’s space this one piece of furniture seems to be occupying...

But she’s self-aware enough to know that she’s overlaying the bed’s current brain space, the desires it signifies, on the physical. Whatever’s going to happen—or not—will happen, she tries to force into that space in her brain, pushing it down... for desire, sometimes indistinguishable from expectation, has devastated her before. But she tries too hard: missing the mark, she slips and falls into some past-obsessed cerebral fold, once again lost, quietly but deeply, in that devastation.

“Here we are,” Helena remarks into the silence. “Or, harking back to engineering: Here we are? I continue to be unsure as to why. I can accept unclear provenance, but I’d prefer more explication regarding my allowable movements.”

That’s help. That’s rescue. But oh: movements. The word nearly derails Myka in a different direction, but she gathers herself, resetting to reply, “It’s explicable, but I honestly don’t have the energy to explicate even my minimal knowledge of the mechanism. The most basic base is, Claudia and Steve worked out a deal to use that pen, and there’s a list that you and I are on. As a ‘nice’ situation. Anyway if you want real details, you probably should sit down with Steve.”

A mind’s-eye image comes to her, of Helena and Steve leaning toward each other, bringing complementary concentration to bear on some topic large or small... and then an incipient sound strikes her: the chime of their voices together, both seriously and lightheartedly, ringing notes she hadn’t before this new instant thought to anticipate. “Actually I think you and Steve sitting down would be really pleasant. Even productive. Given that you’ll be sticking around. I mean, if you’re willing, and if, or at least until, some definitional issues get worked out. As I understand it.” As I devoutly hope, she doesn’t quite utter.

“That addresses... some issues, I suppose. Yet a question remains.”

This is a bonus of a day: Helena turning into the queen of understatement? It’s freeing; Myka laughs and says, “Tons of questions remain. Which one’s on your mind?”

Head-tilt. “You said you didn’t have the energy... to explain the mechanism,” Helena says.

More delay, Myka knee-jerks... but she knows the reflex immediately as wrongheaded, for this is conversation, the value of which she should have learned by now not to discount. “Right. Sorry, I’ll try: so the pen, and honestly speaking of questions and provenance, I still have some questions about provenance, which I’m trying to ignore, but anyway, Claudia found the file, and—”

“That is not the issue I had in mind.”

“Sorry. I’m not getting anything right, am I?” Because of course she isn’t getting anything right.

“We’ll see,” Helena says.

“So what did I jump the gun on?”

“You don’t have the energy to explain.”

This muddles Myka; it will probably require another reset. “I did say that, but I can try to—”

“Myka,” Helena says, and her name in that mouth will never cease to be a singular wonder. “What do you have the energy for?”

Here again is the difference between the attitude that Myka, in her more cynical moments, might have thought Helena would maintain, and the reality she is instead offering: the question is suggestive, but guilelessly, graciously so; its import is genuine, not manipulative. “How do you do that?” Myka asks.

“Do what?” This question, too, is guileless, gracious.

“Stop me.” It’s the best definition Myka can produce of what Helena has in fact done, what she seems consistently able to do.

Helena breathes several breaths, like she’s waiting for the right words to arrive... no, more like they’ve already arrived, but she’s preparing herself, gearing up to deliver them. “I don’t want to stop you,” she eventually says, and Myka should have used that windup to prepare herself: for the admission this is, for how this don’t-want utterance nevertheless is want.

They are the most vulnerable words Myka has ever heard.

New, new, new... the fact is that historically, people have tended to twist and shy from revealing weakness to Myka. Fallout from her tendency to judge, no doubt, but it means that this, too, is new: here is Helena, and maybe in some other world someone else might have made such a mattering move but here in this best one it’s Helena, Helena ignoring that character defect, Helena blowing past it for a chance to change everything.

Everything. “It’s Christmas,” Myka says, because it is. And because now it is.

“So give me this gift,” Helena rejoins.

“You too,” Myka says.

For the space of one breath, they both wait—bracing for whatever fate intends to use to stop them this time.

But this time nothing stops them, for in the ensuing instant, they both give that gift, blowing fast past everything that, slow, might stop them, grasping at this chance to change.

The jolt of their contact reminds Myka of—no: the shock of it strikes her as—artifact activation, that calling of vested power into being, that enabling of such longed-for release. Before the Warehouse taught her to recognize this transubstantiating, she would not have understood this moment’s raw unleashing, its summoning and compelling of stored potential to manifest as what it has lain in wait, in desperate wish, to become.

But also: all the blood in her body knows she has never felt such power released nonartifactually before now, before this.

Before this world-encompassing, world-creating first kiss.

“You’re thinking,” Helena murmurs into the space of a pause for breath. “I can taste it.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Myka scrambles, kicking herself for not staying in the unprecedented moment, for letting thought intrude, as she always does, and it’s always bad, and Helena is now rightfully offended and disenchanted and—

“It’s delicious,” Helena says, punctuating—proving—by meeting Myka’s lips again, again again again, as if determined to never stop.

Myka would be perfectly happy, oh so perfectly happy, with that forever-continuation, but something in her brain has begun gesturing wildly, demanding her attention... something about her hand... brazen... she rips her lips away and yelps, “Wait! I have to lock the door!”

“The thinking continues,” Helena says, stepping back, freeing Myka, and spreading her arms in a ta-da endorsement. “You’re brilliant.”

A memory: “Bunny, you think too much.” No I don’t, she can now answer. Not for her. In time, given time, she’ll tell Helena how much this matters, but now is not that time. Not when Helena is saying, “However, as we’re behind a locked door, I’ll wager I can make you stop thinking... for at least one consequential moment...”

To Myka’s extremely consequential—and utterly, blissfully unthinking—delight, Helena wins that bet.

****

Later. Lazily, later: “I genuinely cannot believe we were stuck in an elevator,” Myka says. A thing to say, said. “As the prelude to all this.” Which is what she really means.

Against Myka’s neck, newly and blessedly intimate, Helena says, “Your limited capacity for belief is noted. Are you equally incapable of believing that we had the apparently obligatory, if not preordained, chat?”

“Obligatory... preordained...” Myka is still so lazy, she’s practically drawling, and the out-of-character surprise of it pricks at the edge of her ability to stay in such a state. Stay, stay, stay... “Honestly... just clichéd.”

“And yet I was able to add a reference to my Myka-index. Entry: Mirrors, your artifact-related discomfort with.”

Myka’s heart seizes: Helena has a Myka-index. That, plus their proximity now, surely requires her to do better than the little falsehood she’d rested on with regard to the mirror-discomfort. Pushing laziness aside, with something too much like relief, she acknowledges, “I misled you. There was an artifact, but that isn’t what bothers me. The real thing is that mirrors make me observe myself too closely. Too much. Which I do all the time anyway.”

“I wish you’d delegate that observational task to me.” Sweet. Helena sounds so sweet. And not just sounds: Myka can tell (hopes she can tell) Helena means it. Which is even sweeter.

And which in turn entails a need for Myka to think seriously about being observed. Being protected. Being willing—but more important, able—to delegate in the correct spirit, even minimally. “I can try.”

“I can accept that,” Helena says, and the approval is better than sweet: it’s buy-all-the-books-you-want indulgent. “But I must ask: do you honestly think any part of the Cleveland interregnum was the elevator’s doing?”

The true answer references Myka’s entire Warehouse experience, from day one: “Yes and no.”

Helena nods, her hair sliding mink-soft on Myka. “I can accept that as well.”

“And whoever’s at fault, our chat was interrupted,” Myka says.

“As it was poised to progress beyond ‘chat’... but in truth I would rather this happened here than in an elevator. Better environs for still further progress. Don’t you agree?” Helena moves her unclad limbs against Myka’s, in transcendent emphasis.

Of course Myka agrees. Which leads her to a painful realization: “So maybe the elevator wasn’t as judgmental as I... judged it to be.”

Helena bestows a kiss to Myka’s shoulder—small, intimate—bringing Myka’s mind back, sharp, to what those bestowing lips have so recently accomplished, which threatens to render her again overcome. She shudders, which reduces her to embarrassment instead, but Helena is kind enough to feign obliviousness as she says, “You did note your own judgmental nature.”

Myka’s soul twinges in genuine regret, collapsing her lip-recall. She regrets that too. “Do you think I need to go back and apologize? I feel all guilty now.”

“The elevator has most likely moved on,” Helena says, quite dry.

“You’re saying it doesn’t have my memory.”

“I’m saying that even if it does—an open question, though the lack of elevator memoirs argues in the negative—it’s unlikely to care as much as you do about what it does remember.”

“Story of my life,” Myka sighs out. Now she’s really saying it, because memory, and caring too much about it, is that story.

“For the best, I suspect. Your life story and an elevator’s shouldn’t be entirely congruent, should they?” Helena questions, and that makes Myka laugh and want to read an entire library shelf’s worth of elevators’ memoirs. Feigning seriousness, Helena continues, “Although we might revisit so as to investigate whether its conveyance of Bob proceeded properly after our visit. That could be revealing.”

“Speaking of Bob, I feel bad for Nancy. Because of course he’ll blame her.”

“For elevator mischief?”

Ah. Helena doesn’t know. “For naughty.”

“Naughty what?”

“The list. He’s back on it, thanks to Steve and Claudia.”

“Is he.” Her satisfaction is evident, and for a moment she and Myka are one in their schadenfreude. That, too, is delicious. “Better they punish him than we do,” Helena then says.

This sends Myka back to guilt. “It feels like cheating. We didn’t use the artifact, but we get the personal gain.”

Myka’s shoulder now receives an indignant exhale. In its wake, Myka is dwelling on how she would have preferred another kiss, but Helena says, “I was speaking of soul-consequences, not this personal-gain fetish you all seem to embrace. Or perhaps it’s an anti-fetish, but in any case was no hard-and-fast dictum in my day.”

“I’ll reiterate that you should sit down with Steve,” Myka tells her, and Helena accedes with a nestle that erases the exhale.

Are words about such things—ambiguously motivated elevators, deserved punishments, fetishes of undetermined valence—a waste of time? No... for again, they are conversation... the value of which, Myka has lately learned, is even greater when the words it comprises land as soft breath on skin.

In fact Myka has learned a great many things in this locked-door recent while. There is, for one, the gratifying fact that she and Helena are physically compatible, at least as evidenced by this first performance, in terms both of wants and of abilities to satisfy them. But nearly as important, particularly in its physical component but not only that, is her new understanding that while her life has offered her several circumstances with which she’s been reasonably satisfied—that she hasn’t minded—this right-now is orders of magnitude above such contentment. She must have in some soul-stratum known this would prove true, or she would not have been panting in its pursuit so seemingly hopelessly, with such dogged desperation.

She says, with gratitude, “This is what I wanted.”

Getting what she wants: that, too, is new. And very. very nice.

“I would hope so,” Helena says. As if she had some genuine doubt about Myka’s motivation? “No, that’s rhetorical; rather, I did hope so. You’ve realized that hope, and... well. I should be clear: this is more than I dared to want.”

Myka, endeavoring to bring everything together, says, “So what you’re saying, want-wise, is that it’s a bonus. A nice one.”

“I’m saying, want-wise, that my wildest hopes have been exceeded. Surpassed. Transcended.”

It’s something, that reply. Also more than a little over the top, rhetorically, which Helena obviously knows. “Pleonast,” Myka accuses.

Helena laughs. “Not inaccurate. I suppose your ‘nice bonus’ translation is technically correct, if a bit... with apologies, pedestrian?”

“It’s less pedestrian than ‘Fred,’” Myka says. A “hm?” from Helena reminds Myka that she hasn’t yet made that translation evident. “I guess ‘Fred’ counts as esoteric instead, so never mind. You’re right, ‘bonus’ is pedestrian. So is ‘nice.’ But maybe it’s a good idea to call our whatever-it-is something pedestrian. I don’t want to scare it away.”

“And what precisely do you think would ‘scare it away’?”

“Bigness,” Myka offers, weakly. It’s what she means, but—

“‘Bigness?’” Helena says, quotes evident. “From the woman who so recently deployed ‘pleonast’? Should I fear that you’ll regularly revert without warning to Pete-reminiscent locutions?”

Myka chuckles. “Spend enough time with him, it’ll probably happen to you too.” The laziness is back. Earned back?

After a time—or perhaps Myka only after a time processes the sound—Helena says, “God forbid.”

A further lag ensues before Myka manages to respond, with a drowsy “I agree.”

Sleep follows. That is certainly earned.

****

Consciousness resumes for Myka with a banging on her door and a shout from Pete: “It’ s really not Christmas anymore, because Artie’s back!”

“Being Artie about it!” Claudia shouts in addition. “He says get to work!”

“I’m awake,” Myka says as she becomes more fully so. This is a Warehouse morning, and Warehouse alarms ring as they do.

Then: I’m not awake; I’m dreaming, because the back of Helena’s head and her naked shoulders greet Myka’s opening eyes. That’s a bracingly new alarm.

Helena’s voice comes next. “He says get to work,” she quotes, playfully, and Myka would be willing to wake to such an alarm with joy for the rest of her life.

But assuredly, if the content of that alarm is the dictate, then no one is dreaming. There’s really nothing for Myka to say except, “Sorry, but one more time: Story of my life.”

“Now? Our life,” Helena corrects.

That is a literally life-story-altering assertion, and a self-deprecating impulse tempts Myka to scoff it away. Behind that impulse, however, lies a clear-eyed recognition that she must meet what Helena has said. How, how, how...

...and then her mind starts fully working. She begins to formulate a plan. One that will, if possible, manifest her gratitude, but also, display her difference from the Myka she used to be, that one from so few hours ago, who had not yet known the dream-surprise of this awakening’s sight.

“I’m going to tell them I can’t get the door unlocked,” she says. Steve isn’t there. She can get away with it. She sits up, ready to head for the door and tell that story.

Helena touches Myka’s shoulder. “Would it lend credibility for me to suggest out loud that I genuinely can’t believe we’re stuck in your bedroom?” More play, but the touch is becoming a don’t-leave-this-bed grasp.

Myka leans to kiss the restraining hand. “I think that would make them think you planned it. And were being nefarious about it. Shocked incredulity isn’t really your strong suit.”

“It’s true that my capacity for belief outstrips yours.” She pulls down on the sheet, exposing both her body and Myka’s.

Talk about overdetermined. Or is it, in this as-yet-unmapped terrain, underdetermined? To be determined later, if at all... Myka somehow marshals sufficient will to rise from the bed, while telling herself that she is not, conceptually at least, actually leaving it. At the door, she fiddles with the lock, expressing frustration to support her claim, after which Pete and Claudia make noises about toolboxes and battering rams, respectively, and then mercifully depart.

“They’re going to try to get us out,” Myka reports as she returns to bed. “Maybe violently?”

“Let them,” Helena murmurs. “That elevator and its manifestation of mischief... comparatively amateur. You’ve bested it handily.”

That jolts Myka out of a back-of-mind consideration of whether she might be able to jam the bedroom door’s lock with something easily to hand, or perhaps whether her dresser might be pushed across the room to block the door entirely. She then considers, front of mind, the possibility that Helena—her physical presence, her physical provocation—is a bad influence... or at the very least a naughty one... for these thoughts are so, so out of character.

“That, on the other hand, is not the story of my life,” Myka says, and the fact of it does make her more than a little nervous.

“A new chapter,” Helena counters, reading Myka’s mind and setting it right—in three words. Such economy.

****

Myka and Helena are engaged in adding to that new chapter (or at the very least, drafting a steamy interlude of same, even if it isn’t essential to the plot) when a banging on the door interrupts them yet again. As does shouting: “We’re back!” yells Pete, unnecessarily.

“Hey, Myka, what’s going on?” That’s Steve. Far more quiet.

“I brought Steve,” Pete says, also unnecessarily.

“I gathered that from his voice,” Myka notes.

“But!” Pete says, in aha-I-got-you mode, “what if it turns out all I brought was his voice?”

“Then I guess he’d still be here in some sense?” she says; she’s thinking on the Helena-hologram, on what a lack of visual might have meant, on how a more ontologically disembodied voice would have made her believe Helena was there, there but standing on the other side of a door. How she would have wanted to take her own battering ram to that door. The hologram’s present non-presence had stranded her, stranded them, in a strange shared space, offering no barrier Myka could use her body to break violently through.

“But!” Claudia exclaims, jokey, fighting with Myka’s ache of reminiscence, “what if it’s just me, doing my Steve impression?”

“That’d be a different thing,” Myka concedes.

“You do a me impression?” Steve asks Claudia.

Who exhales so dramatically, Myka’s surprised the door doesn’t just blow open. “You have stood next to me while I did it.”

“I have?” Puzzled-Steve is honestly Myka’s favorite Steve.

“Are we not a team?” Claudia demands. “Myka does a Pete. Pete does a Myka. Naturally they both suck, but the point is, why don’t you do a me?”

“Because you’d kill me?”

“Guys,” Pete says, “this isn’t getting Myka and H.G. out of the bedroom.”

Claudia says, “But let me just. Myka, H.G., you guys do impressions of each other, right?”

Helena raises her arms, a gesture of observe-this!—or maybe it’s at-last!—and exclaims, “I feel compelled to express disbelief about this circumstance!”

It takes Myka a second to get it, but once she does, she shouts, “I love blooming onions!”

For quite some time, there’s silence from the other side of the door.

Then Steve says, “Am I the only one who’s extremely confused?”

“Usually, yes,” Claudia says. “Except now, no. I’m with you. Pete?”

“Myka loves blooming onions,” Pete says, slow; he’s the one having trouble now with belief. Myka can picture his gobsmacked face. “There’s my endless wonder for the day. Also, I gotta rethink a whole lot of stuff she said about what she was willing to eat.”

Myka presses an apologetic kiss to Helena’s lips (and how nearly unbelievable it is to feel comfortable with such a touch being swift, to not need to hoard, to believe there will be more), then extricates herself yet again from the sheets, the bed. She heads for the door: to make a show of unlocking it, to send them away temporarily so she and Helena can reassemble themselves to rejoin the world—but. Problem. Big problem. “Guys. I really can’t get the door unlocked now.”

“‘Now’?” Pete echoes.

“You mean you actually could before?” Claudia asks.

Moment of truth. So, fine, truth: “I didn’t actually try before.”

“Ha!” Claudia barks. “Are we still on impressions? That might’ve been a decent one, for real, because the attitude? Way H.G.”

“Thank you so much!” Helena chirps.

“H.G.,” says Claudia, with a whiff of pedantry—and that she feels free to express such an attitude toward Helena is most likely because she’s on the safe side of a closed door—“I was complimenting Myka’s impression.”

“But in it, you recognized my attitude.” Helena’s words are a full preen, and as she speaks, she’s rising from the bed, approaching Myka, slipping arms around her, such that Myka loses her ability to track what’s happening on the other side of the door, even as splinters of sound catch in her ears—“hinges inside,” “lock plate solid,” and finally, “break it down”—whereupon she realizes anew that neither she nor Helena is clothed, and that being caught and seen in that state will constitute a disaster that outstrips a great many of the others in her experience.

“We have to get dressed,” she breathes at Helena.

“Wait,” Helena says. “I suspect a realization is about to occur.”

At times, Helena can be eerily prescient. But what is it this time?

As if in answer, Claudia says, “I have a really depressing theory. Myka, can you get the window open?”, whereupon Myka understands Helena’s deduction: this isn’t mechanical; it’s artifactual. More specifically, list-artifactual.

She cannot open the window.

“Yeah,” Claudia says, a defeated I-knew-it. “I’d be all ‘try to smash it!’, but since I can’t see you try it and, like, bounce off the glass, what’s the point? I mean, go for it if H.G. wants the lulz.”

“I don’t know what that means!” Helena informs her. That too is a chirp, and Myka’s pleased to note it’ll probably head off the slapstick.

“Kind of a shame,” Claudia says, but with a drag, like she’s picturing it, and Myka is less pleased to have to devoutly hope that picturing involves everybody fully clothed. “Anyway I hate to say it, but it’s pretty clear this is on us, the list-makers.”

Pete groans. “You were supposed to check it twice! It’s right there in the song!”

“Listen, we seriously argued about the wording,” Steve says.

“And oh guess what!” Claudia says, defeat apparently tabled for the moment. “Everybody in the world is going on about their day as usual due to the unshocking news that I was right.”

“No, I was right. I was the one who said ‘proximity’ was likely to be too vague,” Steve says.

Myka’s inclined to agree with him.

“Bro, I was,” Claudia says, “because I said it was likely to be not vague enough.”

Well. Now Myka’s inclined to agree with Claudia.

She sees the conundrum. “I appreciate it either way,” she says, and that quiets the combatants.

“Regardless, we obviously need different wording,” Steve diplomats.

“I think our first mistake was thinking an artifact would word like we thought it should. You need to get more into its head than you did before.”

“I was in a hurry before,” Steve says, a little less diplomatically. “Because you were yelling at me.”

“I am so so so so glad,” Pete hosannas, “that none of this is on me.”

Myka cannot let that stand. “Who gave his cousin a thing?”

A pause. Then, “Whoops,” Pete says, very sad-clown.

Later, she’ll thank him again, but for now, she doesn’t mind having wielded this little shiv, inflicting this little nick, so he’ll remember that there is, or should be, always a downside.

“How fortunate they’re not asking for our help,” Helena says, bringing her back to the upside.

“Who’s better with words though? You certainly are,” Myka says.

“You hold your own, Ms. ‘Pleonast.’ But ssssh. Don’t remind them.”

“We’ll fix it, we promise!” Claudia says.

“Don’t feel compelled to hurry!” Helena directs, cheerily.

Steve says, “I think she means ‘Don’t yell at Steve this time.’” His hopefulness is clear.

“He isn’t wrong,” Helena notes into Myka’s ear.

Pete announces, “I think she means bow chicka wow wow.”

“He isn’t either,” Myka notes back. “Even less so?”

Helena answers by kissing her with intent.

Claudia snorts. “I think no matter what she means, Artie’s gonna kill us.”

“Alas, the least wrong of all,” Helena grants with a sigh.

The wrecking crew’s voices fade, and they may still be making non-wrong statements, but for Myka and Helena there is at last, again, peace. And once Myka pulls Helena back to bed—a delectable spin she is now bold enough to put on their dynamic—there is at last again not-peace.

Lazily later—and these lazy laters are vying to be Myka’s favorite at-last—she says, “Not to overinterpret the artifact’s thinking, but this feels very nice. As an in-proximity situation.”

“This particular proximity seems more than a bit naughty, however,” Helena says, incongruously matter-of-fact. She isn’t wrong. “Pete obviously made an inference to that effect. Perhaps if Steve and Claudia can use that as a way of writing us out of the current situation.”

“I’m sure that’s for the best,” Myka says, with no small amount of regret, first attached to her embarrassment at Pete, Steve, and Claudia’s involvement in that inference, but even more due to the sad fact that this beginning must come to an end.

“Are you...” Helena’s words are a smile.

“No. I’d much rather stay here forever with you.” Her practical side then takes over, as even Helena’s body twined around hers can’t prevent. “But if they don’t fix it we’ll die—pretty soon, unless they can figure out how to get food in.”

“Would the artifact allow us to starve? That seem the antithesis of a situation that might be termed ‘nice.’”

“‘Termed’? Isn’t problematic terminology why we’re still here?”

“Granted. But of course we’ll die regardless.”

The casual, literal fatalism trips Myka up. She temporizes, “The artifact might have something to say about that,” placeholding, as she finds her way to a real response: “But artifact aside... will you though?” It’s a question about... well, about whether Helena is, for want of a better word, real. Speaking of terminology. “Die,” she adds, not as a word she must expel, for its terrible taste, but one she feels a need to place. As a marker.

Helena takes a moment. Before, Myka would have read that pause as censure; it would have pushed her overboard into I-have-overstepped agony. But the plates have shifted, and her footing feels—strange but nice (oh, nice!)—sure.

The answer, when it comes: “Here with you, I don’t want to be bronzed again. So yes.”

That leaves Myka warm, yet shaking her head. “I honestly don’t know a lot about romance.”

“Don’t you?” Helena asks, all of her limbs beginning to move again against all of Myka’s.

Which, for the moment, Myka resists: “So I’m not sure if it’s weird that I find it incredibly romantic for you to have said yes to dying.”

Now Helena’s smile is a smile; she rears away, back and up, showing Myka her face’s full measure of delight. “Weird or no, whatever you find romantic, I’m inclined to approve. If that’s acceptable to you.” Helena bows her head, as if to formally request Myka’s benediction.

The very idea of such an ask floods her with happy tenderness. “Is it okay for me to find that romantic too?”

“‘Okay’ seems a sadly weak word to convey the extent of my approval,” Helena says. “Further, I find it romantic for you to ask my permission to find any thing romantic. Unnecessary, yet romantic. Is that ‘okay’ as well?”

“It’s a relief,” Myka understates. “Can I call it a romantic relief?”

“I don’t see why not. However, to what extent is it romantic, or non-, that we seem to be finding—or placing—ourselves in recursive loops of romantic-allowable querying?” Helena accompanies this academically focused, seemingly serious question with yet more limb movement.

Myka is actively in bed with someone who’s questioning the romantic quotient of recursive loops of romantic-allowable querying. It is a level of “nice” that she could never ever have ideated on her own. “I genuinely cannot believe any of this,” she says.

“I can assure you that I will be taking some time—if allowed, and thus perhaps only in an ideal world, some great length of time—to determine whether your incredulity will ever cease to be tedious and elevate itself to ‘romantic.’ Some great length of time,” she repeats, playfully.

Myka knows Helena’s appreciation for time’s length is far greater than any ordinary individual’s... so this smacks of a promise. Myka’s gratitude rises, as does her willingness to pursue any and all romantic activity, despite her apparently romance-dampening incredulity... but then the limbs pause. “However,” Helena says.

“What’s this ‘however’?” Myka asks, now selfishly impatient.

Helena has, obviously and of course, heard and felt the impatience. Myka’s neck receives a press of lips, a curve of smile. “However: fortunately, at this juncture, belief isn’t required. Participation, on the other hand, is. So?” This is something Myka has always suspected was a Helena tactic, but here in intimacy she recognizes as true: challenge not for its own sake, but as an attitude in which to wrap something different, deeper, some authenticity Helena isn’t fully willing, or doesn’t quite yet know how, to express.

Myka moves her own limbs, her limbs that are even longer than, and just as flexible as, Helena’s. She moves them against Helena’s. She cannot believe she is doing so; nevertheless, she is. She is participating.

She places a chock under this particular incredulity, for unlike facts, the quality of emotions can escape her if she doesn’t consciously tie them down. She paints the word “bonus” on the emotion-wheel as she secures it, to ensure she elevates that felt quality too. Then she eases herself back to the full experience of the physical, this smooth beauty—and that is the word for every touch-heat-rise their bodies execute—that she and Helena together are creating... are enjoying.

She sighs soft against Helena’s neck; in return, Helena offers again her lips-on-skin smile.

They are participating. In this. Together. Lips on skin.

“So,” Myka agrees.

END

[vote-democrat-president-congress]

"In any election, it’s hard to know whose word to trust. And in a polarized country, many Americans distrust any information that comes from the other side of the political divide. That’s why the criticism of Donald Trump by those who served with him in the White House and by members of his own party is so striking. Dozens of people who know him well, including the 91 listed here, have raised alarms about his character and fitness for office — his family and friends, world leaders and business associates, his fellow conservatives and his political appointees — even though they had nothing to gain from doing so. Some have even spoken out at the expense of their own careers or political interests.

The New York Times editorial board has made its case that Mr. Trump is unfit to lead. But the strongest case against him may come from his own people. For those Americans who are still tempted to return him to the presidency or to not vote in November, it is worth considering the assessment of Mr. Trump by those who have seen him up close.

Administration insiders:

He will always put his own interests and gratifying his own ego ahead …”

Bill Barr

He was extremely vulnerable to manipulation.”

Fiona Hill

… he was getting input from people who were calling him up, I don’t know who ...”

Anthony Fauci

… undermined American democracy baselessly …”

Thomas P. Bossert

He doesn’t take responsibility for the bad news …”

David Lapan

… says a whole lot more about him than it will ever say about Asian Americans.”

Elaine Chao

… equality and freedom can never be equated with white supremacists …”

Gary Cohn

His behavior had grown increasingly erratic and unnerving.”

Betsy DeVos

The F.B.I. is under attack by the president of the United States.”

Andrew McCabe

A person who admires autocrats and murderous dictators.”

John Kelly

Sometimes it’s just better to steer clear of him.”

Anthony Scaramucci

… I do regard him as a threat to democracy …”

Mark Esper

Trump’s temperament wasn’t rational …”

Cassidy Hutchinson

… doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie …”

Dan Coats

… he tries to divide us.”

James Mattis

… loyalty was mostly a one-way street.”

Cliff Sims

… I think he’s a terrible human being.”

Mick Mulvaney

… caused direct harm …”

Deborah Birx

… very little understanding of what it means to be in the military …”

Richard Spencer

… the most reckless and deadly piece of information I have ever heard.”

Rick Bright

Literally everything I’ve tried to do on cutting drug costs, you have killed it.”

Alex Azar

… played to Trump’s ego and insecurities with flattery.”

H.R. McMaster

… flashbacks to my earlier career as a prosecutor against the Mob.”

James Comey

The turnover suggested instability and disorganization to our adversaries …”

Mike Pompeo

… renders coherent foreign policy almost unattainable.”

John Bolton

He is wholly unfit to be in office.”

Alyssa Farah Griffin

… a huge violation of your most important oath …”

Marc Short

He has built up a DNA of defensiveness.”

Sean Spicer

You are using the military to create fear in the minds of the people …”

Mark Milley

… Anyone that puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president …”

Mike Pence

… not consistent with our national security objectives.”

Rex Tillerson

Trump relentlessly … puts forth claims that simply are not true.”

Ty Cobb

The root of the problem is the president’s amorality …”

Miles Taylor

Do you think Trump wants a guy to win after him?”

Steve Bannon

… He’s saying some crazy shit.”

Don McGahn

… They are loyal to no one.”

Stephanie Grisham

The Trumps & Trump Inc.

You can’t trust him.”

Maryanne Trump Barry

… a cheat, a liar, a fraud, a bully …”

Michael Cohen

‘I wanna do what I wanna do’ … ”

Fred Trump III

Trump does not have the temperament …”

Kwame Jackson

He pushed me up against the wall …”

Jill Harth

…actually a racist.”

Omarosa Manigault Newman

Honest work was never demanded of him …”

Mary L. Trump

… the competition reality show set about an American fraud …”

Bill Pruitt

… the hint of menace beneath the surface …”

Gwenda Blair

Our job was to make him look legitimate …”

Jonathon Braun

If you disagreed with Donald, he put you out of his inner circle.”

Randal Pinkett

Republican politicians

He is a coward.”

Dick Cheney

This man is a pathological liar.”

Ted Cruz

He's a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot.”

Lindsey Graham

There is nothing ‘conservative’ about Donald Trump.”

Adam Kinzinger

The cheapest S.O.B. I’ve ever met in my life.”

Chris Christie

He’s not loyal.”

Justin Amash

He sought a coup by misleading people with lies.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

… Power, revenge and retribution is his real motivation …”

Denver Riggleman

Reckless, outrageous and undignified behavior …”

Jeff Flake

The healing of the Republican Party cannot begin with Trump as president …”

Geoff Duncan

… taking advantage of the trust placed in him by his supporters …”

John Boehner

He is a con artist.”

Marco Rubio

… a weakening of our shared American values …”

John Kasich

I think he’s toxic for the Republican Party and for the country.”

Larry Hogan

He’s willing to significantly undermine them …”

Bob Corker

There has never been a greater betrayal by a president …”

Liz Cheney

… an intensifying crescendo of conspiracy theories …”

Mitch McConnell

He should have immediately denounced the mob …”

Kevin McCarthy

… the most expensive and least effective way to do border security …”

Will Hurd

… not decency, not truth, not character, not integrity …”

Bill Weld

He tried to violently overthrow our government.”

Joe Walsh

… We shouldn’t have listened to him.”

Nikki Haley

… bitterness, combativeness and self-interest.”

Charlie Baker

Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud.”

Mitt Romney

… will spend the entire campaign whining about his legal troubles …”

Chris Sununu

… requires the kind of character he just doesn’t have.”

Paul Ryan

Conservative voices

He built a wall of lies …”

Charlie Sykes

If someone says something nice about him, they are our friend …”

Henry Kissinger

He wasn’t motivated by what he didn’t know.”

Hugh Hewitt

… corroded and corrupted American democracy …”

J. Michael Luttig

This is not leadership our country needs.”

Bob Vander Plaats

… We need a new standard-bearer.”

Erick Erickson

Lying is Trump’s toxic superpower.”

Rich Logis

… a floundering, inarticulate jumble of gnawing insecurities …”

George Will

Trump might be the greatest charlatan of them all.”

L. Brent Bozell III

World leaders

… I can't understand how Donald Trump can be on the side of Putin.”

Volodymyr Zelensky

A frightened dog barks louder.”

Kim Jong-un

… stands for a great division in the country.”

Olaf Scholz

… If there is a second time, it won’t be easy …”

Justin Trudeau

I deeply regret that President Trump has not conceded defeat …”

Angela Merkel

Where has our role model for democracy gone?”

Kazuyoshi Akaba

… clearly a threat.”

Christine Lagarde

… President Trump radiates insecurity.”

Kim Darroch

He’s a show-off.”

Mauricio Macri

[actress4him]

Querencia 12.5 - First Healing

You guys voted, and amazingly enough, I have delivered! This chapter was already floating around in my head, though it’s not technically the “next” chapter of the series like the poll said. This falls right after Shopping Trip and before Just a Cold and the Mind Control trilogy, and is a moment I realized was missing from the story.

Taglist: @darthsutrich , @inky-whump , @painful-pooch , @pigeonwhumps , @bookworm2107

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Contains: lady whump, dude whump, broken ribs, self-deprecating thoughts, references to past homelessness, hidden injuries

.

.

Liliana is alone in the warehouse, and it’s…a bit creepy, if she were to be honest. The place is huge, and her footsteps echo everywhere she walks. She’s tempted to hide in her room until the team returns. Then again, something about being shut in a room with no idea what’s going on in the rest of the building is even more disconcerting than being out here in the emptiness.

She should be ready for when they get back, anyway. This is the first time they’ve gotten called out on superhero duties since she’s been staying here, which means that they could very well get hurt and need her to heal them when they get back. Nari has assured her that it doesn’t happen very often. Still, that’s the only reason she’s here, right? If one of them does come back hurt, she should be ready to help right away, not locked away in her room.

So she makes her way to the infirmary, instead. It’s a small room, mainly comprised of a cot in the center, a counter with cabinets above it on one wall, and some shelves on another. They keep it stocked with first aid items, some a bit beyond what’s typical like crutches and slings and forceps.

They don’t really like to go to the hospital, Jamil had explained. None of them have ever had personal encounters with people who hate Nons…Supers…but they’ve heard the tales. They can’t risk being at the mercy of doctors and nurses whose political leanings they don’t know.

Liliana understands that perfectly.

They won’t need all the paraphernalia anymore, though, not with her around. She’s happy that she can take that burden off of them, take away the worry of what if someday we get hurt too badly to treat here. They’ve done so much for the city, after all, and now for her. They deserve to be taken care of.

At the same time, the longer she sits there, kicking her feet and staring at the blank walls, the more nervous she gets. She hasn’t healed that many people. There were a few accidental healings when she was young, but other than the arthritis those were all scrapes and bruises and one common cold. Then came the years at the facility, when she wasn’t allowed to even think about using her power.

While she was on the streets, she’d healed twice - both times with an enormous amount of fear that someone was going to leap out into the open and drag her back to the facility for doing so. The first time was the worst thing she’d ever healed. A lady had gotten mugged in an alleyway, and Liliana had healed where the mugger had hit her over the head with the butt of his gun. The only reason she’d stepped in and shoved her fear aside then was because she was afraid the woman might die otherwise. The headache she’d gotten from that was horrendous and lasted for a few days straight. Not something that she was looking to repeat anytime soon.

The second time she did with slightly less trepidation, since there hadn’t been consequences for the first. That was the man with the broken glass, the time when she’d met Nari and Quinn. The pain from that wasn’t all that bad, just a few stinging cuts. She still has the little white scars on her stomach.

And the only other time she’s healed was Jamil’s broken nose, which had been nerve-racking, too, but she was the one who’d broken it so she had to offer to heal it. That had hurt for days, too, and she kept feeling like she couldn’t breathe.

Today could be her first official healing, though. Her first time really performing her new job.

When she’d agreed to join their team, it had been a spur of the moment decision. A decision she’s second guessed many times, for reasons ranging from I shouldn’t have moved in with a bunch of strangers to they need someone better than me, someone with less problems than me.

Now, in this moment, she’s second guessing her ability to handle the kinds of injuries a team of superheroes might come in with. They could have broken bones. They could get shot, stabbed, burned, impaled, electrocuted…the villains they fight against have all varieties of powers that can do a ton of damage. Can she really heal any and all of that? More importantly, can she do it without letting on that it hurts, for however long it may take for those things to heal?

She doesn’t have a choice. They let her in so that she could heal them. If she can’t do it, then she’ll get kicked out, and she’s not sure she can handle going back to the streets, losing all of this comfort and care that she’s finally starting to get used to. And she can’t let them know that it hurts her, they’ll think she’s too weak and the result would be exactly the same.

It isn’t that they’re mean. They’re the nicest people she’s ever met. But they need someone who can do this job. She has to make sure that’s her, so she won’t lose even more people and yet another place to live.

The wait is excruciating, but eventually she hears the beeping and opening of the front door from just down the hall. Jumping to her feet, she moves to the doorway, wringing her gloved hands as she peers out. One, two, three, four…they’re all on their feet. It doesn’t mean no one is injured at all, but it’s certainly not as bad as it could be.

Quinn’s face brightens when he sees her. “Liliana, hey.” His eyes dart toward the room behind her. “Everything alright?”

She nods, still glancing up and down at what she can see of all of them. “I’m just, just waiting. For, um…for you guys to get back. Just in case.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. We’re mostly in one piece, but Alex did break a rib or two.” He gestures back toward the redhead, who she can see now is pressing one hand to his side.

“Ehh, I think they’re just cracked.” He waves his free hand casually. “Nothing new for me, honestly. I get beat up a lot.” He laughs at his own joke, then winces in clear regret.

Liliana’s eyes widen. Cracked ribs. She can handle that, right? She’s never had injured ribs before, but if Alex can treat it so nonchalantly then maybe she can, too. She definitely doesn’t want him to keep being in pain, it makes her stomach churn watching him react.

“I can, I can help. That’s what, um, what I’m here for, r-right?”

He grins at her and enters the infirmary as she steps back to make room. “I’d really appreciate it, if you think you’re up for it.” Gingerly, he settles on the cot facing her. “I’m used to having to deal with these things for weeks. If you can really make it disappear in an instant…”

“Mhm.” She nods again, still toying with her fingers. She’s just standing there, and he’s sitting, watching her…waiting on her, she realizes. Everyone is waiting on her. The other three are crowded into the room behind her, ready to watch her perform her task.

Right. She can do this. Gloves have to come off…well, maybe just one. One glove off, then she has to…oh, shoot, she has to ask him to…

“Um. I, um…I n-need…” Her face is growing hot. “I-I have to, to…to touch…like, um…s-skin…”

His eyebrows go up in realization. “Oh! Yeah, no problem.” He lifts the bottom hem of his shirt, revealing a cluster of bruises on his right side. “And don’t worry about hurting me, I’m tough.”

Her cheeks are still burning. “It, um, it shouldn’t hurt.”

“It doesn’t!” Jamil pipes in from the doorway. “At least it didn’t for me. Barely felt a thing.”

“Oh right! I forgot you’ve done this before.” Alex leans over slightly to see him. “Is it cool?”

“Definitely. Though I didn’t get to actually, you know…see it. I’m looking forward to it this time.”

The others are agreeing, and Liliana wants to curl up in a hole somewhere and disappear. They’re all acting like this is some huge special thing that she can do, and it’s just…her power. The power that got her kicked out of her family and locked up for three years. Yes, if she has to have a power she’s glad that it’s one that helps people, but it’s not special. It’s not that big of a deal.

“Okay, I’m, I’m gonna…” She motions toward his ribs and steps forward, sliding the glove from her fingers. Her hand is shaking a little.

Ever so gently, she places her fingertips against the bruised skin. Blue light immediately spreads across the area, soaking up the black and purple, seeping down until it reaches the cracked bones and beginning to mend them.

Don’t make a face, don’t make a face, don’t make a face.

The pain of her ribs “cracking” is sharp and immediately invades every breath. Liliana bites down on the inside of her lip to keep from gasping or making any noise.

Cállate, cállate, no hagas ruido, no pueden averiguar.

She glances up at Alex’s face, but his head is tilted down to watch the healing. Good. If she did slip and make any kind of expression, no one would have seen.

The light fades away as the last of the pain transfers, and she lets her hand drop, quickly moving to put her glove back on. “How’s, um…how’s it feel?”

His gaze comes up, and his eyes are wide with amazement. “Wow.” He stretches his arms over his head, bends his torso back and forth. She knows for a fact that those movements would have been very painful a minute ago.

“It feels great! It’s…totally gone, like, not even a trace left.” Looking down and pulling his shirt up again, he runs his fingers over the now unblemished skin. “That’s crazy.”

The others crowd around, Jamil poking at Alex and Nari making teasing comments about how he just can’t keep himself from getting hurt, and Liliana shrinks backwards, out of the way. Sharp pain shoots through her ribs with any little twist of her body. She’s going to have to learn how she can and can’t move, but try her best not to look stiff in the meantime.

A few weeks, he said, right? She can do this. It’ll be fine.

Alex stands and pushes his way past the others, not a difficult feat considering how much space his height and muscles take up. “Seriously, Lil, you’re fantastic.” He chuckles to himself. “Get it? Lil? ‘Cause you’re so…lil? I’m calling you Lil from now on. Anyway, I’d hug you, but you probably don’t want me to and that’s fine, so…fist bump? Can we fist bump it?”

She definitely does not want a hug right now, not with cracked ribs, but…she can handle a fist bump, she thinks. Tentatively, she raises her fist, and Alex gently knocks his knuckles into hers.

“Welcome officially to the team, kid. It’s great to have you here.”

Everyone spills out of the room exclaiming similar messages, making a huge deal out of what she just did and her presence with them. Liliana follows along silently, cheeks flushed again, trying not to let the praise get to her.

She still wishes they wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. But if her power can make them this happy, then she’s very glad she can share it with them. Even if it ends up hurting much worse in the future.

[moleshow]

what would you say to someone (me) who is thinking about moving to chicago

it's a good city. without information on what you're looking for, where you're coming from, what your line of work is, what your finances are like, or whether you want to study here i can only give general advice. so without further ado

what exactly is a chicago

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

POPULATION:

we have the largest population of polish people outside of poland

we are located within COOK COUNTY, ILLINOIS which contains the ring of inner suburbs that border chicago. our 3 transit systems are the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA), which operates the L (back to that in a second) and our city bus system. the suburban bus operations are run by Pace, and the L has two lines which extend into the northern suburbs of Skokie, a predominately jewish and to a lesser extend filipino neighborhood (don't quote me on that), and Evanston, which is where the main campus of Northwestern University is located. Metra runs our suburban commuter trains, but they don't own all of the tracks. metra trains have a few stops within the city, but generally serve the Greater Chicagoland area.

note that Chicago and Chicagoland are different places and the terms are not used interchangeably. chicagoland is always the burbs. this is a chronic issue: people from the suburbs will claim they are from chicago. do not let them trick you. ask them what neighborhood.

the CTA operates the Red, Purple, Yellow, Green, Brown, Blue, Orange, and Pink Line trains. all of these converge in the Loop. because they form a Loop. the other stuff in this picture that do not go into the loop are metra lines.

the "base point" for our address system is in the loop, at Madison/State. major roads will have numbers and N/S or E/W on them to indicate where they are relative to that intersection. you might hear, like, "5200 block on north clark", which will tell you where along clark that location is (in this case, clark street is 5200 N at foster).

regarding politics

if you live here, you will benefit greatly from understanding the politics. we have a council-mayor system. each city council member (known as an alder-wo/man/person or sometimes just alder) represents one of 50 wards. we use a weak-mayor system, but there's coalitions and mayors usually tap into that (unless they're hostile nutjobs)

as you might be able to tell there's a lot of politics happening here. to that point, we do big city democrat boss/machine politics here. you should look up richard j daley and then richard m daley to get a peek into that. it's the politics of knowing a guy

we have a new mayor. you might know this already but this is a lead-in to a larger point which is that chicago is, relative to the extent that any place can be after the 1980s, a union town. brandon johnson comes to us, broadly speaking, out of the Chicago Teachers Union (CTU). they are to city hall progressives what the Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) are to the conservatives. teachers union vs police union. fight

note that our conservatives are not republicans. our conservatives and progressives are democrats, because everyone only votes for democrats. the national party labels don't apply so the policies are what's different

vexillology

we have one of the finest flags possibly in the history of man.

there is no east side because there's a lake.

where to move

you'll get more transit access for your money if you look for apartments on the north side east of ashland, or at the very least, damen. around the brown line might be tempting but it doesn't run 24h and i found that difficult to rely on when i was along it. the area i've described has decent redundancy so you can have a lot of options a few blocks apart.

older buildings almost always use gas stoves and steam radiators. that's something to be aware of when you're looking depending on whether or not you care.

rapid fire north side neighborhood ratings from someone who doesn't go west of ashland because i refuse to cross it

rogers park good, mid around loyola university, edgewater mid if you aren't on wilson, uptown good, andersonville overpriced and mid, ravenswood barely a neighborhood but cheap and mid

this area is so lame it's uninhabitable. over here it's always christian girl autumn. drivers are aggro as fuck, they all drive SUVs, and the food sucks. don't move there

continuing further south: lakeview after belmont (e/w) is good and better on broadway to the east. this is where boystown is due to gay men being there. lincoln park nice to look at but mid to be in. downright bad around depaul. "ranch triangle" is barely a neighborhood, wealthy and mid. near north side is complicated due to proximity to the Viagra Triangle. gold coast is not a neighborhood but has good peoplewatching. nonetheless, mid. old town is where they invent new ways to be mid. and river north is a nuclear mid-off but has fairly swank restaurants if you don't spend too much time there

6. the dollar

apartment prices vary depending on what amenities you want. a basic oldschool unit without a dishwasher or central air but with laundry in the building will generally set you back $750-1000 for a normal, rather than weird, studio. you shouldn't pay more than $1600 for a one bed. it is better to look for places in person but come off of anon and i can give you the name of a company i rented from that had good units in good areas for good prices. and parquet wood flooring.

if you are poor and or gay we have medical services for that. the howard brown health system does sliding scale and has locations across the city

things aren't too pricey here in terms of having fun but the main thing people do is drink, go to the lake, and drink at the lake. there's other stuff of course. the restaurants are good generally speaking and the industry is frankly enormous here. usually all around the same price point, we don't do a whole lot of the Fine Dining stuff here.

culture notes

this is longer than i intended it to be

we have sports teams only three of which matter. these are the cubs, white sox, and bulls. cubs and white sox are both baseball teams and appeal to different demographics. cubs fans usually live in the suburbs or on the north side, white sox fans are largely from the south and west sides. the bulls are a basketball team. you'll see all of this stuff on hats

we got a few newspapers: the chicago tribune, chicago sun-times, and block club chicago are some of our heavy hitters

all the cops and firefighters live out here in the bungalow belt

don't move there

[cinderfeather]

Yellowjackets Season 1 Episode 3 LiveReact

Okay, so @pebblish encouraged me to try livereacting to a Yellowjackets episode, so I thought I'd give it a try (hopefully I'm doing it right):

I don’t know you either Rachel, if we saw you before I don’t remember you

Is that grown up Taiessa’s actor playing her granny?

Why doesn’t misty even want to let Nat out of here site even to grab food at the gas station? Ohhh because Natalie can search her car… but I thought that was obvious even to Nat from the last episode that misty sabotaged her car anyway? Okay I supposed she wouldn’t have tried to search the car if she didn’t suspect.

Three days? What have they been eating? Surely they would have used up all their snacks by then?

Oh they have a food stash?

Oh no last pill

Betrayal!! Shauna voted against her friend!

Is that message on the plane gonna wash off?

Hmm, so if Taiessa is a politician (a leader) in the future, is she gonna come to heads with Jackie really strong?

I don’t understand why Shauna is stalking her husband

Oh a pack of wolves might show up?

Ah clever, Taiessa paid the reporter to just check to see if anyone was talking?

Eeee scary whispers heard from the woods!

Okay cool at least they have water now. But isn’t it freezing? Yes, exactly Jackie.

Oooh Shauna is jealous of that random girl talking to Jackie

Oh hahahahaha the other dude who she’s been tempted to cheat on shows up and plays along to help her OTT lie she was trying to pull to see if her husband was cheating

So does car mechanic guy know she’s married? It’s very confusing.

For a moment I was worried Misty was about to kill the coach

Oooh ‘the man with no eyes’, I’ll need to check screenshots more closely once I’m finished to get another look. We also had Travis appearing for a second in the mirror when Nat was snooping, and she was clean too.

Ooh ‘a bad feeling’ what’s gunna happen?

How did Shauna get the hotel room key?

Okay! Why did her nanas eyes go like that when she died? I can’t think of a illness that would cause that to happen on death so quickly? And why the juxtaposition of the broken doll on the ground with the dead cabin owner?

What did the message Nat have say?

So did Taiessa get Travis killed because Nat mentioned she was trying to contact him?

After the show:

Ahh, Shauna and Matt were getting their own hotel room to have their own affair

Okay, the message Nat found in Travis' place was 'Tell Nat she was Right'. So his killer was probably planning to kill him for longer than the time between Nat's phone call to Taiessa and finding him dead?

Hmm, so someone on Reddit pointed out that the empty forest that Taiessa looked out into actually had the man with no eyes standing there in the same shot in the intro. Interesting.

[weaselle]

close to 70 million people voted one way and close to 70 million people voted another way.

The ideal situation in 4 years is tens of millions of those people realize they were wrong, get welcomed to this side with forgiveness and understanding, and start standing with us, beginning to heal the deep divide that has occurred in this country.

Or, i guess we could continue to feed into hatred and division until there is an actual civil war.

Yes, the die-hard MAGA group is basically a cult, and their leadership is pretty evil, and there's a fair number of outright bigots and quasi-fascists on the right, but a lot of the voting block is also made up of people who got taken in by the cult, or people who just plain don't follow politics much and simply vote the way their family does, or who don't really understand politics at all, or who believed a lie, or who were single issue voters who didn't realize what they were doing to their country, or, was influenced by the bad friends they used to hang out with, or, or, or.

And if they realize they should, we want them to be able to walk across the aisle and find community here and stand with us.

There was a time i didn't really pay attention to politics and just voted how my friends were voting because it seemed like the thing to do and my life was complicated enough without doing all the research and activism politics seems to require. I know there are many people who voted red for similar reasons.

Leave room for grace, for growth, embody the spirit of the humanity we strive to enable and leave the door open for anyone who realizes they made a mistake and wants to help fix it.

Like, let this happen:

(in stranger things, Steve spray paints this, realizes he was wrong, and tells the guy who has to clean it that he wants to clean it himself)

When someone's daughter dies during miscarriage because they couldn't get medical treatment due to trumps regime, if we laugh and tell them we're glad they're reaping what they sowed, all we're doing is alienating what could be one of our strongest allies.

also how horrible -- taking joy in someone's suffering is something an awful person does. Be a decent human with us. I know it's tempting to feel like they got what's coming to them, evil things are always tempting; it's not the feeling tempted that makes a person terrible, it's the embracing it instead of resisting it that defines what kind of person you are.

Approve of people who start to do the right thing. Encourage anyone who starts to realize they were wrong.

Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:

They just found out what tariffs are

They just found out what denaturalization is

They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist

Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)

Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)

[k8rgrl]

More kate venting. Israel/palestine shit below the cut. If you're here to argue, go fuck yourself. Show some damn compassion.

I'm legitimately tempted to block tags related to this shit at this point. It is so fucking exhausting hearing about it constantly. Yes. I know it's a fucking genocide. Yes. I know the idf is commiting countless warcrimes. What the fuck is signal boosting going to do??? Everyone who follows me fucking knows already!! We all fucking know!

I don't have money to throw at charities, I don't have the energy or time, or resources to volunteer, I can't do jack shit!

Can't even go to protests!

I live with my dad, my grandmother, and my grandfather.

I was raised jewish, both sides of the family. I'm not anymore, I'm pagan, but my granddad and gma are still.

My grandfather is an incredibly passionate, and caring guy. He saved me from a lot of really bad shit, and goes out of his way to help people who need it.

He even tried to be a good leftist. He doesn't know that, but he's got most of the right ideas.

Except he's a fucking zionist. And not even out of bigotry. It's out of primal fuckin fear and trauma that he would rather die than address.

It's so exhausting. He's got this weird fucked up idea that being critical of israel in any way what so ever is antisemitic. It's this absolutely mind-numbing thought terminating cliché.

Any time the slightest hint of the continent comes up, he becomes the most obnoxiously staunch Israel supporter.

I know he has no hatred in him. He just genuinely cannot understand that supporting palestine isn't the same as wanting every jew dead.

I'm not kidding, that's unironically what he believes. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm pagan when he's yelling with legitimate fear for his and my safety that pro-palestine people want me dead.

He's even admitted that the only difference in our stances is where the line is as to what's supporting palestine and what's supporting hamas.

And he's said if he ever caught me going to a "pro-hamas" protest he'd kick me out without hesitation.

That's already tiring enough, but I don't go to protests, so, fine, whatever. Not taking the risk now, that's for damn sure.

And then there's the fucking internet. Gods I hate how the internet has handled this shit.

Especially in leftist spaces. At least I can comfortably call right-wingers garbage takes for what they are and discard them.

And then, people on here have the gall to say shit like "i don't want to see any white people ever again say how china, the middle east and many others asian countries are censored and that people there have no rights, don't you dare to make fun of north korea when your president wants jail for people who deny the state of isr*el" (they censored it, not me)

How fucking dare you minimize other people's suffering because one group has it horrifically bad right now.

Where were you when yemeni people were being wholesale slaughtered? How about the Uyghurs?

Lemme guess, didn't have the energy? Didn't have any way to meaningfully help? JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB.

And for those of you degrading and mocking people who say vote, or contact your reps, fuck are we SUPPOSED to do?

Grab a plane ticket to an active warzone, and get murdered for a cause it would take a lifetime of traumatic horrors, or a phd to fully comprehend?

Riot in the streets for the sake of awareness, and get labelled a terrorist and ignored?

I'm not some fucking anarchist revolutionary. I'm a transfem barely able to self-motivate, who barely finds spoons for her productive hobbies, much less genocide awareness advocacy, while living in a household with a nearly 70 year old man who is so traumatized he'd rather call his granddaughter antisemitic than accept that being critical of israel isn't wanting him and every other jew in a fucking camp.

So yeah, I sure am just going to live my life like I was. What else am I supposed to do? Uproot my life and become yet another victim of a vicious cycle of colonialism? Become another voice yelling blindly into every void I can, in the vain hopes I convince someone of something I barely understand, after hours of research?

Support and advice appreciated, anything with an aggressive tone or call me something… dude, get some sunlight. Even just through a window. Go play with your pet, if you have one. Call a friend. Do anything except yell at a stranger on the internet.

[stereden]

I posted 6,165 times in 2022

That's 1,239 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (0%)

6,145 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dangerousyako

@ceiaofsilence

@lucide-dreamer-dreams

@jabberwockypie

@athingofvikings

I tagged 230 of my posts in 2022

#one piece - 36 posts

#to check out later - 29 posts

#buggy the clown - 22 posts

#tumblr folk tales - 19 posts

#it's the fucking chocolate guy again - 12 posts

#stereden replies - 10 posts

#esc 2022 - 10 posts

#real life thatch - 9 posts

#dylan hollis - 9 posts

#other people's writing - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#we'll probably add more german in the future since my sister's partner is german and the two of them moved to berlin last summer

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

who’s you’re favourite strawhat?

Hmmm good question! Probably a tie between Nami and Usopp, aka the only two Strawhat in possession of both Common Sense and Working Survival Instincts xD

18 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

#4

The introduction of the jury votes was a mistake and we should go back to public votes only U_U

27 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#3

Petition to ban the jury from ESC again so the contestants who actually understand what Eurovision is about can actually make it to the finals

33 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

Watashitachi wa shinjidai no kaizoku desu (and the seas are ours)

stereden

Summary:

The long-awaited sequel to Watashitachi wa Roger Kaizoku desu (we still stand proud) is finally out!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Buggy’s brain short-circuits.

“The New World?” he barely manages to keep his voice to an angry whisper instead of the outraged yell that piece of information really deserves. “They haven’t even been at sea for a year! Even the other Supernovas have at least that under their belt! The Strawhats have barely half of that!”

“We’re not letting them do that, right?” he asks, more for confirmation than anything else.

“Hell no.”

“Over my dead body.”

_____________________

In which Dragon meets the PPA (pirate parent association) and maybe gets punched in the face for sending their kids Davy Jones knows where, multiple family reunions are happening, and Buggy is both too tired and not paid enough for this shit, but ends up involving himself anyway because they're just kids, damn it!

35 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Chapter 30: I remember the fallen, do they think of me? When their bones in the ocean forever will beSummary:

“How are you so calm?” Ace asks in confusion. “We heard- you tried to kill them! Not that I blame you for that, definitely not, because Davy Jones knows I was ready to rush down there and kick their asses if Deuce hadn’t literally sat on me, but how can you be so fucking calm right now?”

Shanks smiles. It’s not a nice smile.

“Oh, I’m very much not,” he says amiably, ignoring the way the other Spades flinch slightly as he allows his Voice to reflect how he actually feels. “I am, in fact, furious. Really fucking furious, actually. And I still very much want to kill that sorry excuse for a doctor.“

“But-”

“But killing them now would be kinder than having them live with the consequences of their actions, as Buggy quite rightly pointed out to me. Even if the thought of sending them to Captain so he can deal with their bullshit is very tempting.”

____________________________________________________________

Soooo... here we are, after 3 and a half years, 30 chapters later, about 280 000 words in, this fic comes to an end. Not completely, as there are two sequels planned, but it is still an ending (and one you're probably going to yell at me for xD)

It has been a wild ride, not gonna lie. I never expected this fic to take off as it did, or for so many people to jump on the Buggy appreciation train! It's been terrifying and amazing, and none of that would have been possible without you all, so I really wanted to thank you for everything.

It's been three and a half years since I posted the first chapter of this fic, and I had no idea what would happen (it was supposed to be a short crack fic, Davy Jones damn it!)

And yet, here we are today, you and me and all of us, and I am so glad this happened. I met some of my best friends through this fic, got a whole bunch of amazing enablers on the discord server (you know who you are, and I adore you all), bettered my writing, got through some seriously though times, and always, always you all were here for me. Your comments have brightened so many of my darker days, and I cannot thank you enough for this.

So, here we are today, on the last chapter of *We still stand proud* but not on the last chapter of this story that now links us together.

If all goes well, the sequel should be out sometimes this summer (though no promises, as life can happen and disturb the best laid plans of mens and writers!) and we'll head into the Baltigo arc (Aka dumping the PPA - Pirate Parent Association - on top of Dragon) together!

53 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[breakfastteatime]

Cal got a hug in the gif (from the Wookie) and we love that. But he needs an intentional hug *for him*. Like, he's with someone and they recognize a need for comfort coming from him. Either he's had a hard day, or he's disassociating from his past, or he's talking about a difficult time but trying to brush it off... And that person does an italic Oh. Oh, he needs a hug. And just goes in for a hug and it's as long as Cal needs it to be. He needs that kind of hug.

Anon, I absolutely LOVE this. I LOVE IT.

BD-1 is small. He can't give Cal big hugs, but he can still offer little ones when Cal's having a bad day. Cal's legs and arms are about the best BD can do, or a nudge to the head. Cal gets a lot of little hugs after Ilum. He gets even more after Nur.

Greez isn't exactly a big guy, but he's way bigger than BD-1, and he has four arms, all of which are good for hugs. He's the one who accidentally on purpose voted himself to be the official Wake Up Cal crew member. One time he goes back and finds Cal awake but staring into space, like that might be the only way he doesn't have a complete breakdown. BD looks to Greez and the noise the little droid makes doesn't require translating. Greez calls to Cal, makes sure he's not in the middle of some weird Jedi thing, and when the kid looks at him with huge, tear-filled eyes, he can't help himself. Greez pulls Cal into his arms, hugs him tight, and tells him whatever it is, he can either talk now, talk later, or never talk, so long as he doesn't mind the occasional Greezy Hug (patent pending). Cal offers a tiny, wobbly laugh and clings on until he's good and ready to let go.

Merrin is a hugger. Everyone aboard the ship just accepts this. Cal gets the most because (according to Merrin) he is the most in need of them. As the youngest organic sentient lifeform aboard the Mantis, he requires additional nurture. Initially bemused (and in genuine pain because ow, he had a hole in his chest), Cal learns to accept Merrin's affectionate ways.

Cere is there for him after Nur. No one understands it like she does. No one knows what that monster under the ocean felt like, the darkness seeping from him, the unimaginable power he wielded. Cere is there after the nightmares, when his wounds need tending, when he just needs someone to hug him and tell him he's alright, he survived, he protected those children. She's the one who tells him how proud she is, how proud Master Tapal would be. She's the one who lets him hold on until he's asleep and stays so there's someone with him when the nightmares kick in. Cere's hugs feel like home. Thanks for the Ask, anon. If I ever do more with this (AAAH SO TEMPTED BUT ALSO AAAAAAAAAH SO MANY WiPS), I'll let you know!

(Wanna chat JFO headcanons? Drop me an Ask!)

[its-no-biggie]

OMG ive been summoned!!! okay okay lets see

first off. getting this one out of the way. i havent voted yet but i swear to god if calculus is winning right now im gonna be /pissed/ (not really lmao). not because its BAD or anything, i enjoyed learning about it, but its sooooo overhyped as The Hard One when conceptually its not even that interesting. wooaahhhhh find the area under a curve!! revolutionary!! like yeah the calculations are long and often difficult ESPECIALLY once you get into multivariable calculus but like. it gets way too much hype for what it is.

im tempted to vote algebra for how foundational it is but thats a boring answer. same with functions and relations. im also not voting for trig because i tutor high schoolers and im sick of it tbh. its basically just geometry a little to the left anyway.

ok at first i kinda skipped over geometry but you know what. thats a little unfair. euclidean geometry is generally very boring but higher dimensional geometry? hyperbolic or circular geometry???? where would we be as a society without klein bottles and mobius strips and hyper cubes and hyperbolic crochet. anyway if youre reading this you need to play hyperbolica its a simple puzzle game a la portal but instead of thinking with portals you have to think in hyperbolic space. where space has more. space. everything looks a little distorted and it totally fucks your spatial awareness its so fun. even something as simple as a maze becomes difficult because when you turn left 4 times you DONT end up where you started and it just doesnt compute in your brain. also the npcs are little robot guys and its so cute and charming. 10/10 excellent game. anyway yeah im not voting for geometry because a lot of it is boring but it does have its moments!

i went to university for statistics (well. technically actuarial science but its pretty much the same thing) so im a bit biased towards it. but its definitely the most useful kind of math for the average person to understand (aside from basic algebra) but its also like. really wild that it works?? that you can collect a big chunk of data and then determine correlations between variables with a high degree of accuracy. its basically the antithesis of what people think of math (rules and hard logic and one correct answer) but its still so rigorous and useful and so so important to understand

but more than statistics i am a huge fan of matrix theory. i really love matrix operations theyre SO SATISFYING and just really fun to do. especially when you apply them to linear algebra and solve a really messy system of equations that cant even be conceptualized on a graph.... augh its great. and its also one of the few kinds of math that i learned with a bunch of different number systems pretty much right away (bc its related to cryptography so using binary or mod 5 or whatever is actually useful) and that was really refreshing!! i love using different number systems. im not sure why its grouped together with set theory but i do also like set theory, its really fundamental like algebra (although its not nearly as well taught as algebra) and a lot of the operations are really unique so it kinda opens up what math is when you start learning about it. and of course there are a lot of number sets that i really like but that doesnt really have to do with set theory itself lmao

ANYWAY i think im gonna vote matrix theory. theres a few really interesting ones that arent listed here like game theory (ever heard of the prisoners dilemma?), topology (did you know that a mug is the same as a donut? also a straw definitively has one hole), and graph theory (i dont know that much about graph theory tbh i just think it looks really cool), but i really love matrices. i mean come on like

that rules. objectively that rules

[kitsu-katsu]

Wilbur’s character traits that many forget or ignore in their “hot takes”:

So, this post is made to compile a list of things important to Wilbur’s character that many forget, remain ignorant to or ignore when making posts, writing fics, theorizing or a long list of etc in fandom activity.

I will provide quotes to every point I can, at the very least I will provide arguments for every point if just a quote doesn’t cut it.

(Quotes from @kateis-cakeis, go to his blog, he’s a legend)

Actual post under the cut

-Wilbur cares. A LOT.

He considered giving up on L’manburg to spare bloodshed, which is something most of the fandom forgets:

“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)

“Tommy, we need you alive. Tommy, this isn’t worth it. Tommy, your life is worth more than the revolution.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 34:57:, 2nd Aug)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want it back.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:24, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

Him saying that he didn’t care if people got hurt during Pogtopia? That was a lie, something said out of impulsiveness, and was then contradicted by his moment of clarity and him running to sacrifice himself in Niki’s place

“We blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come. I want no survivors. God help whoever’s caught in the fucking crossfire.” - (Wilbur’s video, Am I The Villain?: 17:52)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want. We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them. We can rig this festival with TNT. We can kill them all, Tommy. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“Just, if you’re gonna kill anyone else, kill me. Don’t kill anyone else here.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:10:53, 16th Oct)

“You sounded like you were gonna murder another person. You sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:12:34, 16th Oct)

“Oh, yes, sorry, Niki, you missed that part. I was gonna blow up Manberg, I was gonna completely destroy it in a huge fireball. Look, Niki, come to Pogtopia, you’re safer here. You’re not gonna be hurt by anyone.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

He wanted to make sure that Niki was ok when they couldn’t quite take her in yet:

“We’re in too much of a hot position right now to take in everyone from every sort of like person we need into our new like cave, so you’re gonna have to hold out in Manberg for a bit longer, is that okay?” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 51:15, 23rd Sep)

He always wanted Tubbo to stay safe:

“Don’t, don’t hold, don’t hold Tubbo accountable, Tommy. He doesn’t know. He just wants to survive.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 31:57, 22nd Sep)

“And whilst I’m not entirely trustful of Tubbo, I still don’t want to see him getting hurt by Schlatt. So, as long as Schlatt’s being nice to him, then I’m gonna keep my cool.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 37:21, 23rd Sep)

“We don’t hate Tubbo! He’s a spy! It’s fine.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:19:24, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you don’t deserve this fate. You don’t deserve the fate I’m gonna befall everyone here.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:17, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, look, I’m saying- you don’t deserve to- You don’t deserve to meet the same fate as everyone else here, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:39, 13th Oct)

“Techno’s on our side, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:03:36, 16th Oct)

“He fucking killed Tubbo, he killed Tubbo. He fucking killed Tubbo.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:08, 16th Oct)

“You actually murdered Tubbo…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:09:40, 16th Oct)

“What do you mean you’re on our side, you just murdered Tubbo in front of everyone!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:08, 16th Oct)

He always cared about Tommy but expressed worry about his recklessness hurting them all or just Tommy himself one day:

“Tommy, you’ve learnt from me for so long now. You’ve taken everything I’ve taught you, you’ve watched me debate countless times, you’ve watched me write our declaration of independence, you’ve watched me write our manifesto. Tommy, I believe you will have my beliefs and you’ll be able to voice them properly. But, Tommy, I’m worried that your fire, the fire in your heart will overtake you.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 56:39, 8th Sep)

“Wait, Tommy, you’re not actually burning down the forest, that’s literally- That was the one thing Schlatt put on the book he was gonna do. … That’s literally the thing we’re fighting against, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:04:15, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, if you don’t fix the mistake you’ve made here, I don’t know if you’re the right fit for Pogtopia. You’re already aligning yourself with the enemy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:06:48, 23rd Sep)

“You’re proving yourself to be too much of a loose cannon, Tommy. I literally can’t- I can’t- Look, there is a reason why you are not the president and never will be.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 05:36)

“Tommy, Tommy, careless talk costs lives, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 53:46, 8th Oct)

“Remember when we started L’Manberg, I was pretty sure that was, you know. You are a pretty short-tempted, short-fused kind of an aggressive guy, Tommy. I’m surprised you managed to get this far without killing him, you know?” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:28:07, 20th Jan)

“Tommy, you– You can never quite take things as they come, can you? You always gotta ask questions, man. Just, just. Come on, come on, let’s see a smile. Let’s see a smile, Tommy. Come on. Come on, cheer up. Look, you win. Come on. Why you gotta look so sad about everything all the time, man? Turn that frown upside down.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:54, 20th Jan)

“I’m proud of you, Tommy. I’m proud of you.” (Alivebur)

“See you soon, Wilbur.” (Tommy)

“See you soon.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:34:31, 20th Jan)

He made sure that Tommy wouldn’t be seen as complicit in the TNT plot:

“Look, Tommy, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be absolutely wonderful. I know you still don’t agree with it, but like, man, today, let’s just be friends. Let’s be friends today, man. Even if you disagree with me fundamentally, I think after you see how much it puts us in the advantage…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 9:28, 16th Oct)

“It’s… Tommy, you’re my friend today, okay? You can have your grievances with me later, but today, you’re my friend, you’re my ally. Just stick with me, just get ready. You’re not an accomplice here, you’re just a viewer, you’re a- you watch- You’re a witness! Witness! That’s the word I was looking for. You’re a witness, Tommy, alright.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:24, 16th Oct)

“You don’t have to worry, you know, when it comes to the tribunal, when it comes to the Geneva Conventions, you’re in the clear, Tommy, you were just there, you know. Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

We also can see some good old Ghostbur caring about Tommy and Tubbo as well:

“Will you still look after me if im alone?” (Tommy)

“I don’t really know why that would change.” (Ghostbur)

- (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:28:44, 3rd Dec)

“So why don’t I pretend- Why don’t we pretend I’m Alivebur?! You can pretend I’m alive still. … And then we can go and make a new nation.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:31:38, 3rd Dec)

“I will follow you, whatever you think we should do. … So, I’ll follow you, wherever you think we should go.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:32:18, 3rd Dec)

You want something more recent about him caring about Tommy? There’s plenty in recent streams too:

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Will, this is so cool!” (Tommy)

“Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

"I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“Remember the pit, Tommy? Remember what happened in the pit. Don’t. Don’t trust people who would have fought you in the pit.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:59, 31st May)

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy. I see you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:44, 31st May)

“I just don’t want him to hurt you, I just don’t want him to hurt you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:55, 31st May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“Get out of the way. Stand back, stand back. I don’t- I’m not too, like, fond of this. … I’ll go first, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 53:56, 31st May)

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it.” (Tommy)

“No, no! Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, get down. Tommy, get down off the railings. Tommy, get off the railings, man. I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 57:50, 31st May)

“Is there a three-person chair? I don’t want Tommy to be, uh.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 58:18, 31st May)

“Tommy, I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’ve always got you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 59:19, 31st May)

“I’m excited to show Tommy. What’s you opinion on Tommy?”

“Oh he’s great, Tommy’s awesome.”

“I agree, I agree.”

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 51:17, 25th July)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Tommy’s all of our muse I’d say.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:02, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I mean, Tommy’s great and all and he’s here, but I, I feel like, you know, I don’t want to, I don’t want to string him along too much.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:36, 3rd Aug)

You want some recent caring about Tubbo too? Well, here you go:

“Dude, it’s- I don’t even know what to say to you, man. It’s like looking into a little mirror. Look, you’re even wearing my suit still.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:08, 3rd Aug)

“Holy crap, I saw you briefly, man, when I was resurrected. I remember you super, super briefly. But this is the first time we’ve actually gotten to speak. Okay, I will admit, I was a little bit overwhelmed during that whole thing, you know, it was a bit, it was a bit, you know, I was running across the glass- which thank god its gone, like Jesus, like, this is far more apt.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:45, 3rd Aug)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo. I have… a little thing going. It’s not big, it’s nothing much yet! You know, it’s just- It’s not a big deal! You know? It’s, uh, it’s a little burger van at the moment, but I’ve got big plans, big plans for it. Uh, Tubbo, it’s called Paradise. Would you like to come join me, in Paradise, literally?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:00, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not just trying to say this- I’ve got your forgiveness and I know I need to earn your trust, but, man, I just want to let you know I- You’re so strong, man, genuinely.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:41, 3rd Aug)

“Just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have these memories, you have these nightmares, and you still found it in your heart to forgive me that’s- You’re a fucking champion, man, you’re a hero.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:54, 3rd Aug)

“No, no, man, man, no worries. Look at me, bro. Look at me, bro. Bro, chin up! Look. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Tommy gave this to me, man. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot, man, chin up.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 24:34, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah. Don’t pressure him. He doesn’t have to join. He just needs to come and- I just want him to come and enjoy some of our patented burgers! ” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 30:52, 3rd Aug)

-He truthfully believed in “words over weapons” always

“We don’t win wars with battles and with armour. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 4:54, 29th July)

“Look, Dream isn’t our enemy, he’s our neighbour. But, we are seceding from his tyrannical rule.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 57:34, 29th July)

“The only thing I ask is that you don’t touch the wildlife. The trees are very important to us here.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:00:08, 29th July)

“I’m not a fighter, I’m a writer.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:48:31, 29th July)

“Dream, we may have had our differences, but I think I can, I think I can learn to live side by side with you in this server.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 51:16, 2nd Aug)

“Fighting is not necessary right now, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 43:42, 22nd Sep)

“Tommy, control yourself. Tommy, control yourself, it’s not worth it. Tommy, do not take your shot! He disrespected me, yes! But we’ve talked about this, Tommy…!” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:36, 23rd Sep)

“I see you’ve abandoned my no armour policy since I’ve been gone.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 19:31, 5th May)

He only gave into using the weapons or armour when he felt cornered:

“I thought we used our words!” (Eret)

“Not in this case. They’ve tried to burn down our forest!” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:37:44, 29th July)

“Tommy, for the first time in my life, I’ve equipped armour, in this server. This is the first time I’ve worn armour on this server ever.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 33:50, 22nd Sep)

Or in the case of his speech to Quackity, when the entire world seemed to reflect, after all the wars, that his ideology of pacifism wasn’t the correct one (note how he seems to be talking as if trying to convince himself as well as talking from experience):

“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)

“If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:59, 12th Apr)

“And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:19, 12th Apr)

“Even if everyone has this good side that you’re talking about, then anyone who wants to prove it, has to show their dark side first. You’re going to have to kill, you’re going to have to torture, you’re going to have to maim.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:34, 12th Apr)

Ghostbur showcases this belief as well when he aquestions what’s happening to the people of L’Manburg and its ideals:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

-The final control room kickstarted his paranoia and left a permanent mark on him:

“Where are you taking me? This is- I’ve got bad memories down here, you’re gonna invoke my fight or flight reflex if you take me down here.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 49:48, 2nd Aug)

“Eret, I’m not going with you. I have, I have values still.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“No, no. Yeah, we know we’ve been fucking betrayed. Of all the people. Get out.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“Eret, I’m sorry, I know you mean well but, I- I’ve- I’ve gotta decide who I can trust right now and I’m afraid you’re not first on my list.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you, Eret. Thank you.”

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 27:09, 22nd Sep)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? Eret especially, he is the most clear, the most clear cut traitor of them all. He was a traitor from the very get go. I have no, I have no remorse offing Eret.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

As a bonus, consider every time Ghostbur talked about knowing Eret was “a wrongin” or bad because they cursed them out in the anthem, something that happened because of the betrayal:

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, kinda went down a… different path, unfortunately.” (Philza)

“Yeah, ‘cause of Eret”

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

-He always cared about preserving history, whether it was on his favour or not

“Yeah, it’s still a part of history. You don’t tear down history when it’s- even- just ‘cause you don’t agree with it.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 50:56, 2nd Aug)

This habit continues through Ghostbur and his sewer library where he kept all important books and memoirs:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“So you make me suffer? I- I don’t know what Alivebur did, and I’m really trying to remember. But I know what I did, and I just wrote books. I built- Remember the lanterns we used to make? I built them. I- I built a house for people- I- I set up this area- I built this town just like I built Logstedshire, and I watched them both blow up. And I didn’t- I- I didn’t- I didn’t hurt anyone, and yet I’m the one who pays. Tommy didn’t even live here, Tommy didn’t have a house here. I sowed the seeds of peace, and yet I’m the one who pays for war.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:47, 6th Jan)

“I’ve read his memoirs, Ranboo. They’re all gone now, they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when my library was destroyed. But! I’ve read his memoirs, and he was pretty okay, most of the time, he seemed. And people liked him. But then, he lost this election, and you know the story, everyone knows the story.” - (Ranboo’s Preparation: 12:11, 14th Mar)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

-He loved and loves Fundy, he didn’t disown him

“I don’t know, man. I don’t know, I think you’d be getting into a fight you wouldn’t wanna start with me. You’ve only been on the positive side of me, you’ve only seen my nice side, because, you know, being my son you get special… You know, you won’t ever see me going against you.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:45:40, 4th Sep)

“F- Fundy. I- I’ve got- I’ve got- I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I think you’re just gonna, you’re just gonna get hurt.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:46:11, 4th Sep)

“Fundy, when I look at you, I can see there’s some stuff going inside right now and you need some help.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 26:12, 8th Sep)

“Wait, look who’s coming, look’s who coming, my son, my boy.” (Alivebur)

“Your ex-son.” (Tommy)

“Well I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but he’s just…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:04, 20th Sep)

“He’s really upsetting me. He’s, look, he’s supposed to be my son.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:36, 20th Sep)

“It’s really sad, like I- Honestly I- When he turned around to me and he said he wasn’t gonna vote for me, and then he decided he was gonna vote for the opposition, and then he decided he was gonna run against me. That was- One of those was the straw that broke my back, I’m not sure which one, I’m still contemplating which one.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:52, 20th Sep)

“I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?!” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 11:17, 20th Sep)

“Yeah, yeah, go on, son! Just- Just- Yeah- POG2020 wants to let the furry talk. … Yeah, everyone be really nice to Fundy. … Look, he’s got dressed up in a little suit and I’m very proud of him.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 35:38, 20th Sep)

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:41 22nd Sep)

“Don’t give him promotions he’s too young, he doesn’t understand. He needs to learn more. No, he needs to learn more, I should know he’s my son.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 57:57, 23rd Sep)

“Wilbur is just a founder, and I was born here and nothing else. That’s literally everything there is to it.” (Fundy)

“But you know that’s not…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 58:20, 23rd Sep)

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Fundy. I don’t know who you are anymore…” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:08, 23rd Sep)

“Fundy, Fundy is very clearly on Schlatt’s side, look- Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock! You know? And hearing what he said about L’Manberg and stuff is just… And when I heard him say that he had no care for me, I believe that. I think he’s so happy that he’s finally been given maturity in L’Manberg, you know. Like, Schlatt’s giving him the maturity he’s been craving, you know. And that’s cool. That’s fine. You know? I have no issue with that, he can do what he wants.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:44:10, 8th Oct)

Want Ghostbur as well? You have it, even when he forgot about Fundy disowning him, couldn’t really make up for Alivebur’s failings because he didn’t remember and when Fundy was being adopted in front of him, he showed he cared:

“Fundy needs a dad. Fundy needs a dad. For sure. And I need to make up for what I did. I’ve got to make up for what I did.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 2:03:04, 24th Nov)

“Last time I spoke to Fundy was… erm. When I announced I was running for President, and you said that you were also gonna run. That was the last time I remember.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:00:43, 27th Nov)

“He’s very young, he’s only like fourteen. He’s going through some times, he just needs time on his own sometimes.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:12, 27th Nov)

“Phil, do you know how old Fundy is? I think he was very young when I remember, but I don’t know if he’s gotten older since.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:23, 27th Nov)

“And I, I, I don’t know why your stream title is ‘being adopted’ but I don’t- I, I, I hope- I don’t know what that’s about. But I’m sure- I- I’m sure it’ll make sense and I’m sure it’s nothing bad and everything’s happy! Everything’s fine!” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:08:29, 27th Nov)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

-Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral to his character

“You say, you say everyone has a good side, Quackity. And you’re right, you’re right, everyone has a good side, but that good side is only there to help themselves.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:32, 12th Apr)

“I think, I think Tubbo might be one of the few people we can trust here. I don’t think I can trust Technoblade, I definitely can’t trust Fundy. I can’t trust Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold tore down the walls. I guess Tubbo is doing his job right now, I guess he’s out looking for us.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 42:10, 22nd Sep)

“Look, I think, from what I can gather, there is only two people we can trust on the server right now. That’s Tubbo, and that’s Niki. Seem to be the only people who I can trust right now, but I’m still not willing to open up to them yet. It’s gonna take me a long time.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 44:18, 22nd Sep)

“Tubbo’s one of the few people I trust, Technoblade. Like, I’m still figuring you out right now, but, at the moment, Tubbo seems to be, you know, pretty on the ball. He seems pretty keen on the whole spying thing.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:16, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, ignore what I just said, I don’t trust you. You have to prove yourself to me.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:33, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo said that he was wearing the suit as a disguise, right? Turns out that’s not true, turns out it’s a dress code. So, Tubbo lied to me, which is not the best start for our, you know, our political relationship.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 36:52, 23rd Sep)

“He’s a man who I thought really cared about his nation. But you know, I’ve been wrong before.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:10:00, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you’re… See, with Technoblade, right, I have no doubt that Technoblade is on my side, right. ‘Cause with Technoblade, right, I know he just wants blood, and he wants war, right. That’s how Technoblade works, you know. He just wants to fight, and he wants to kill bad guys, right. Yeah, yeah, look at him, he’s a little libertarian, little anarchist, right. So here’s what I’m saying, right. You, however, I can’t tell whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt to help spy, or whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt because you quite like how he treats you.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:09, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“That guy Tubbo? You know? We love Tubbo… but he’s not on our side, is he? Let’s be honest. We act like he is, like, everyone’s always how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:57, 8th Oct)

“Everyone’s always saying how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt. No one’s against Schlatt. Everyone’s pulling the biggest ruse on us. Literally, they’ve got us all by the fucking scruff of our necks.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 17:59)

“Tubbo’s like, ‘I’ll be your spy!’. And then we’ve got like Fundy who’s like saying to everyone’s twitch chats that he’s gonna revolt against us. And you’ve got Eret giving us fucking potatoes, that say fucking ‘I’m gonna be friends with you’. It’s bullshit! It’s all bullshit!” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:09)

“‘Cause Schlatt knows, he’s a smart man, he knows that if we fight him, even if we beat him, we’ve lost. If he fights us and kills us, we’ve lost. Tommy, there’s no in-between, he knows we’ve lost.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:37, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, literally have you not noticed? Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo?! He’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises we’re not in the lead anymore!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:16:15, 8th Oct)

[About Tubbo’s speech for Manberg] “That’s not something a, that’s not something a traitor would do, is it? That’s not- We’re not- You’re not gonna- I’m- I- Ah- I’m just- I was just wondering ‘cause writing a speech is quite a har-” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:19:27, 8th Oct)

“And you know what? It’s not over yet, Tubbo. It’ll never be over. … Tubbo, it’s never gonna be over. We’re here forever.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:24, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, have you not realised? The one fear I had, the one fear I had when taking over L'Manberg, was the idea that the act of war and the act of tyranny that I was bestowing onto the Dream SMP would just start an endless cycle of vengeance and death.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:36, 13th Oct)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“Yes, yes, by literally every stretch of the world. If we try and fight Schlatt, hand to hand, one on one, we lose! Even if we kill him we lose! Because we’ve fought back and gained power. Do you know what I’m doing here, Tommy? I’m creating a power vacuum! I’m creating a power vacuum. You know who can fill it, Tommy? Tommy, I know you’re gonna like this one, you could fill it, Tommy. You could fill that power vacuum that I’m gonna create. Anyone could! When I destroy this, there’s a massive vacuum and people are just waiting for the next powerful person.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:24, 16th Oct)

“They mean nothing to me, Tommy. None of them do. We can kill them all. Seriously, it doesn’t matter, they don’t- They’re not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:24, 16th Oct)

“Oh Tubbo’s, Tubbo’s clearly- Have you heard the way he talks to me? He talks to me like how he talks to Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:36, 16th Oct)

“You’re just a yes man, aren’t you? This isn’t the first time Tubbo’s done this man.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 40:51, 16th Oct)

“Tubbo organised the event, bro. I’m telling you, man, he’s not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 46:08, 16th Oct)

“Do you know why this is magnificent, Tommy? Because now it’s exactly what I said, no one’s on our side, Tommy. Everyone’s just listening to whoever’s got the most power. No one cares. No one has any honour here. Everyone’s just doing as they’re told. Tommy, this is perfect. Oh shut up, Technoblade, you’re in it… as well.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:27, 16th Oct)

“This isn’t about me, this is about blowing up Manberg, this is about just finishing it. We’ve got this! Look, Tommy, what else do I need to convince you? The festival was a front.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:47, 16th Oct)

“Because no one’s actually caring about honour, everyone just wants to commit chaos.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:15, 16th Oct)

“It’s just as exactly as I predicted- It’s as exactly as I predicted, it’s exactly as I predicted. This is just all a travesty.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“But I’m not the one who was a traitor so, I should be the one deciding. Don’t get me wrong, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine that you’re a traitor, I like it, I like it, it’s cool- Why did you do it?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:23:39, 16th Oct)

“See the thing is, Technoblade, like, I know this probably seems very confusing but like I- I don’t care if you’re not on our side or whatever, as long as you’re willing to help me do chaos. As long as you’re willing to help me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:06, 16th Oct)

“After last night’s catastrophe- I mean Schlatt won, how awful is that? Literally we let Schlatt win? Schlatt came away yesterday with a victory for Manberg. Holy shit, no, not again. I don’t think we should let that happen again, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:03, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, right, what did I do wrong? Okay things that I did wrong: One, I trusted Techno too much, right. I think we can all agree I did that wrong. … He traitored, but you know, it ended up working out well for us ‘cause now we have another boy for chaos. And he’s kinda on my side in this which is good. Number two, I shouldn’t have lost the button. … But don’t worry, ‘cause mans only gone and found it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:22, 17th Oct)

“I’m just telling you, you shouldn’t be worried, you shouldn’t be afraid. And you know what? At the end of the day, Tommy, I would say we’ve always got each other, but we don’t, ‘cause if it goes wrong, you’re probably gonna hate me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 3:03)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“He’s– He’s gonna– Tommy, he’s gonna bring Schlatt back as well.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:53, 20th Jan)

“Ranboo, are you a schmoozer? … A schmoozer, are you schmoozing everyone? Are you greasing everyone up?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 35:38, 5th May)

“He’s harmless now, he’s harmless now, give him, give him a burger van though, I don’t know, he might spatula me, Phil. Could you imagine me, look at me, imagine me with a spatula through my skull.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 14:32, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

“I think, I think you might be a bit braver than me, in showing your true colours. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move, I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is that you build your trust by showing people your cards, while I keep them close to my chest. And I feel like that might be the big difference.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:22, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“In the case of an emergency, right? When we are head to head, you know? … When we are head to head with Tubbo, and Big Q, and stuff, and you know, it’s all- And maybe shit’s going a bit- hitting the fan, you know? I need to know that we have a saviour card to save the innocent people in this city. You know like Tubbo and, and Fundy. I need to know we can save the innocent people.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:53, 4th Aug)

“In most cases, yeah. 100%. 100% most of the time, maybe it won’t happen. But, if we need to protect the innocent people, that’s what it’s for. You wanna protect like Fundy, you wanna protect Slimecicle, Tubbo? Yeah. So that’s- that’s what it’s for.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 33:26, 4th Aug)

“I’ll make it very, very safe, yeah.” (Ranboo)

“Promise?” (Alivebur)

“Promise, yeah.”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:10, 4th Aug)

“And you’re gonna tell me where you put the button? And you’re gonna tell me where everything’s set up?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:14, 4th Aug)

-Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also an integral part of his character

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 15:49)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, let’s be villains.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:11:17, 8th Oct)

“How much would you say me and Tommy are kind of the bad guys here? We… we… uh… we…” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:15, 8th Oct)

“We fought against people, we killed people to get leadership of this country, we didn’t really do much in our leadership, and then when we were voted out, we’re now trying to fight our way back in. It doesn’t f- It feels like we might- I don’t know, what do you think?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:28, 8th Oct)

“Thing is, Tommy, Tommy, what you’re not understanding is, Dream only gave you that gear so that you could cause this conflict. You see? That’s what this is all about. Dream doesn’t want us to win, Dream just wants both Pogtopia and Manberg to be weak! That’s it!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:03, 8th Oct)

“And, Dream, Dream, I’m not, I’m not scolding you on this, that’s smart. You’re a smart guy. I’ve seen your two thousand IQ plays. Right. Nothing can get past you, right.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:16, 8th Oct)

“So, I’m here to help you. I’m here to weaken both of us, so much. Manberg and Pogtopia will be nothing more.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:25, 8th Oct)

“We are the villains, Tommy! We didn’t win the election and we’re trying to fight for it back! Look how nice this place looks under Schlatt, look how lovely Schlatt has made this place.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 15:57, 16th Oct)

“Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

“I know we can, but we’ll be the bad guys, if we take him down we’ll be the bad guys…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 31:10, 17th Oct)

“Oh, I don’t have a home, let’s be honest.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:04, 6th Nov)

“I’m always weary, I don’t sleep.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 45:37, 6th Nov)

“There was a traitor. I don’t know what Dream was talking about, there was a traitor. It’s me and Techno. And now the server is going to go into ruin, thanks to us.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:18:36, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“My destructive bounds. My destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Someone’s gotta stop me, someone’s gotta stop me, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 13:05, 31st May)

“The thing is with this book, Tommy, is that it’s, it’s a… It’s a call from an old friend, who I haven’t seen in a long, long time. And I, you know, I feel like when we left off, we left off on a I assume a bad impression.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 17:52, 31st May)

“Every person we seem to have spoken to, aside from say, I don’t know… Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold, has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too. And you actually. Come to think of it, the three people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you, and Phil, have been the nicest to me, you know. That might be a coincidence, who knows.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 19:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“I don’t know if they actually needed me, but I was there.” (Ranboo)

“I know that feel.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 25:15, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I, Can I be real with you? Sorry, Ranboo, you really got me with that, fucking hell.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:24, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

Look at that, Ghostbur can do self-loathing times two by hating both himself as a ghost AND Alivebur:

“Well, he’s dead now, so let’s not talk about him.” - (Said by Ghostbur about Alivebur)

“It’s not me, Tubbo, you know that’s not me, I’m Ghostbur. I am different from regular one. He was a bad man, I’m not him.” - (Said by Ghostbur, likely on Tubbo’s stream from the 19th Nov that I can no longer find)

“Everyone likes me more now that I’m dead, Tubbo, to be honest with you. I’m having a much better time. Everyone prefers it when I’m dead. So, I’m perfectly happy being dead.” - (Tubbo’s President Things: 1:34.39, 19th Nov)

“Phil, how bad was I, Phil? Phil, how awful of a person was I?” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:59:13, 24th Nov)

“I’m not him, Tubbo. I’m not… I’m not Wilbur.” - (Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 31:27, 7th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“That’s how you keep yourself sane. Yeah, that’s how I do it. When people say to me ‘Hey, Will, do you remember killing all your friends?’, I say ‘I didn’t do that, halalala’” (Tommy’s Alone?: 17:05, 19th Dec).

“Hey, Tommy, I was having a think about it, and I don’t think I want people to bring me back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:38, 19th Dec)

“I don’t know, I don’t think I want to be brought back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:52, 19th Dec)

“No, I just- I don’t know. I think I don’t wanna- People prefer Ghostbur. Dream likes Ghostbur!” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 48:34, 19th Dec)

“I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:01, 6th Jan)

“I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back. I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just- Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 20:07, 6th Jan)

“Tommy, I know- I know I said- Tommy, I know how I said I didn’t want- I didn’t want to be brought back to life because I didn’t want to- Because that would mean me as Ghostbur would stop existing. But I want- I want you to bring me back to life. I don’t want to be Ghostbur anymore.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 22:12, 6th Jan)

“Maybe everyone will like Alivebur again.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 35:37, 6th Jan)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

“I need to be killed. I-” (Ghostbur)

“There’s a fox out there who needs a father” (Eret)

“And there’s a world out there that needs a ruler. When I look at this crater I don’t- I don’t see- I don’t see somewhere that Ghostbur made better. I see somewhere that- that- that is owned by weakness. Eret, I’m not a strong man, I’m not a strong man.” (Ghostbur)

“You were a strong man.” (Eret)

Yeah, but I’m not a strong ghost. And I- This world needs strength right now, and I- It’s one of those things where I don’t want- I want to- Do it, Phil! Phil, do it!” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 36:37, 10th Jan)

“And I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be back, and the world can be strong again.” - (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 37:31, 10th Jan)

-He’s been depressed since he became president

He doesn’t want to talk to people as a person during the election campaigns because the role of President was such a big thing to carry:

“Can I… talk to you like off the books and just… Can I talk to you as a person? Forget- forget the elections, forget the… the politics, forget we are politicians right now. I wanna talk to you up close. I wanna talk to you as a person.” (Quackity)

“Um… I mean I appreciate it- no. The election’s in twelve days” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:23, 12th Apr)

He mentions being “a distant ruler” and regrets it:

“I mean, look, Tubbo, I’ll be the first one to say I didn’t always treat you the best on L’Manberg. And I know I didn’t! I was somewhat of a distant ruler, I pretty much only really- … Look, I wasn’t the best ruler, I know I wasn’t. I think I was a good ruler, but I-” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:50, 23rd Sep)

Ghostbur confirms that he was depressed:

“I just- I- I just remember I was in power, and I would- when I wasn’t on a stage I would cry a lot, and- and scream into my pillow until I felt better. That’s what I- but I don’t remember why I would do that”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:18, 17th Nov)

“Tubbo I recommend you buy a pillow”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:33, 17th Nov)

-He gave up the presidency peacefully and thought it fair if he lost because of the coalition he himself allowed

“Look. I could always push things off as an autocracy, I could always start just making myself the dictator of L’Manberg. But I don’t want to do that.” - (Wilbur’s is about to change forever: 29:24, 3rd Sep)

“What happens if we lose the nation, Wilbur?” (Tommy)

“Well, then whoever wins takes over, w- what do you mean?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s vod jschlatt gets unbanned from the Dream SMP: 1:45:50, 20th Sep)

“Tommy, we’re citizens tonight. Just listen to Schlatt.” (Wilbur’s vid How Schlatt stole the Election of the Dream SMP: 7:58)

“I called for this democratic process, and now he’s ousted me from my government. This- I’m fucking speechless, I’m speechless.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:12, 22nd Sep)

“We held this election, and by god am I not gonna upset democracy just so that I can keep hold of- This is what the people want, we shall give the people what they want- But Tommy, I am not gonna die with you out here. We need to stay alive. That would be enough.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 46:06, 22nd Sep)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, we allowed the coalition. On the day, they said they were gonna make a coalition, and our cockiness, our arrogance got in ahead of us, and we allowed it. We said ‘yes coalition governments are allowed’.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:09:35, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

He was quite literally exiled and chased out of his nation when he gave up the presidency fairly and died in the process while people cheered in the background (and he still hold some resentment for it, which is completely fair if anything):

“Who ran against you! Who laughed as we were exiled! Who cheered as we were thrown out of our nation, that we built, WE BUILT!” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:39, 31st May)

-He hesitated regarding the button tons of times, he also wanted people to stop him, he told his plans to people clearly and tried to be reasoned out of it (the more emotional approaches didn’t quite get through to him)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“Why did you give me a cake of Niki? Why did you give me a cake that Niki made? What are you trying to imply? Are you trying to imply I shouldn’t be doing it because of Niki, huh?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:11, 16th Oct)

“I know there’s a lot of people, Tommy! … I’m not telling you where the button is, man. … Tommy, it’s over that hill, it’s over that hill, right there!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 28:30, 16th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“But this is the opportunity- this is the opportunity. If I don’t blow it up now, when am I gonna blow it up?! When am I gonna blow it up, Tommy? But when do- when do we do-” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:30, 16th Oct)

“If I don’t do it now, what happens if this is the only chance I get. Everyone’s in this close situation, I can do some proper damage. Look, this isn’t a- He needs a consequence for his actions, Schlatt does, he can’t just keep being handsome and powerful and strong all the time. He needs, he needs to be put down a peg.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 37:07, 16th Oct)

“I can still call off this whole detonating at the end of the speech, dude. I can call it off.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:24, 16th Oct)

“Should I show you where the TNT’s laced? ‘Cause in a, in a last ditch effort, we may need to destroy it by hand, okay? So, under the chair, where Schlatt sits, there’s about twenty pieces, right? And then going under, under the main area here, following this red line, there is TNT all the way, and then it jut- and then it- … It darts up here, and over to the dance floor, but it doesn’t touch the water.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:29, 16th Oct)

“I have to light it, I’ve got to light it, I’ve got to light it.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:17, 16th Oct)

“Techno, when I set it off next time, you ready to pop some withers in there as well?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:28:42, 16th Oct)

“I thought today was gonna be my last time here, honestly. I genuinely, I was considering, blowing up L’Manberg, having a big moment where I’m like looking over the rubble, and I’m like ‘I’ve changed as a person’. But like after this, I am just deeper. I wanna do different, more blowing up things.” (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:34, 16th Oct)

“We waited too long. I just want chaos. I don’t care about like when we blow everything up, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 7:24, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, what better time of just eradicating the nation and eradicating him than right now. I can finally do what I said I was gonna, you know, that I said I was gonna do.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:00, 17th Oct)

“Tommy, we’ve tried my ideas. I’m willing to listen to you. I’m gonna follow you, Tommy. Whatever you think is gonna be the best way of taking down Schlatt, we’ll do it. We’ve tried my ideas.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 32:01, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“I’ll be back. I’ll be back for this.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:45, 17th Oct)

“You’ve convinced me, I don’t wanna go straight to Plan B, if Plan A fails.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 39:02, 17th Oct)

“I have a lot of TNT ready to go. I can definitely blow up L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 7:40, 6th Nov)

“It’s Plan Bomb, it’s Plan Bomb, we’re doing Plan Bomb, yeah? That’s Plan Bomb.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 19:25, 6th Nov)

“Well, no, but I will though, that’s the- you know- it’s Chekhov’s Gun, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:59, 6th Nov)

“Dream, let’s do this as a gentlemen’s duel then, you know. Instead of doing like a bit of a dirty war that we’re planning at the moment, how about we just do it like gentlemanly? We pick a date, we pick a time, and we have the war, and if it all goes tits up, I blow the shit up.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 42:59, 6th Nov)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“I could be. I mean at the end of the day, my traitoring would be very anticlimactic ‘cause it would just involve me doing the exact thing I’ve said I’m gonna do for the past month. Which is detonate everything.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 53:48, 6th Nov)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

“Look, Tommy, at the end of the day, if this doesn’t go well, I’m gonna blow the place to smithereens. The place will be gone, I’m gonna detonate it and blow it to smithereens, right, if this doesn’t go well. But it will go well…! … ‘Cause it’s literally- there’s no one on Schlatt’s side.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:00, 16th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“I could, I really could, that’s the thing. That’s the bit that I like. It’s the bit that makes me smile the most is the fact that I definitely could.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 26:28, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the trai- Okay. Sure. Um. … I mean, it’s pretty obvious, wasn’t it? I mean- Well, okay, I mean, I guess, that’s… Yeah, we, we won…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:15, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

He also was completely stopped by Tommy and Quackity just being there and in danger within the explosion room (he only wanted to take himself down with L’Manburg, that TNT originally inside the button room was to take just himself out. His intentions are clear in these quotes, he no longer believes in surviving the explosion):

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

-He really cared and cares about L’manburg, and didn’t wat its ideals twisted to hurt others with

“What is your wildest dream?” (Tommy)

“A nation where we can brew drugs without anyone stopping us.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 5:26, 29th July)

“No matter what happens, no matter- Even if he comes- Even he destroys the very hot dog van that we live out of. Until the day we stop breathing, that is when L'Manberg has fallen. He can destroy the walls, he can slaughter our friends, our family, but until the day we stop breathing, and the moment that the dream we have of a self-emancipated nation away from Dream SMP falls- is the minute we let go of that dream, that’s when he has won.” - (Tommy’s World At War Vod: 1:16:04)

“Dream. When you imprisoned our men, slayed us, and your men essentially did great wrongs against my people, I let go, I let it slide on the condition that we would have emancipation from you, we’d have our freedom, and we wouldn’t have to reach a point of disagreement that we were reaching.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 24:36, 2nd Aug)

“We don’t wish for bloodshed, we don’t wish for war, we don’t wish to show our power in any way, we just want our freedom, we just want emancipation, independence.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 26:02, 2nd Aug)

“Look, Tommy we’ve always allowed women. Do you remember when we were making the decree it was, it doesn’t matter your sexuality, your gender, your race, you can join L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Niki joins L'Manberg: 18:16, 6th Aug)

“They aren’t old school, these polices were formed from blood not long ago. … With the idea of liberty. … Of course they had to grow from war, we were oppressed! We were an oppressed people, Quackity. I led these people to freedom, and I will keep and uphold the polices which freed us.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 46:55, 8th Sep)

“But what does matter to me, is that the fact that the leader of tyranny, who we fought for independence to get away from, is endorsing my opposition to become head of the very nation we’re trying to escape!” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:17:08, 8th Sep)

“My name’s been through enough. You need to fight for what this country believes in. Ignore what Dream says to me, I can take it.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:18:52, 8th Sep)

“Literally we have the man himself, the man who led a war against our nation, is trying to talk to us like L’Manberg is some kind of nation for the conquering for him. To him, to him, we are just a conquest. We are not- He doesn’t care about our nation, he doesn’t care about us. … Listen, TommyInnit, GeorgeNotFound doesn’t care about us, he doesn’t care about our nation. All GeorgeNotFound cares about is adding another thing to his conquest, and Quackity is enabling this, right.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:29:26, 8th Sep)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question… um… I guess it’s- just- protection for my people, I mean I-I-I-I just want to see them thrive and I want to see them safe” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:03, 12th Apr)

“Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security I’m afraid. I- I completely disagree with everything you’ve said.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:18, 12th Apr)

“I just want you to know, Big Q, that like, you know. I think, although we’ve had our differences and we’ve had our argument and stuff. Although we’ve had our disagreements and we’ve fought and stuff, I think we’re both looking out for the greater good of L’Manberg, you know. Much more than that Coconut2020 or whatever they’re called.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 45:00, 20th Sep)

“I said, the one thing I appreciate about Big Q, right, no matter what he says, right, he cares about L’Manberg, right. He really cares about L’Manberg. Even if his policies are direct opposites of mine, he at least cares about L’Manberg. These people just want power, they just want attention, right? So how about, in the case that Schlatt or Coconut, gets more votes than POG or SWAG, we make the POSWAGs” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:07:38, 20th Sep)

“Coconut is against everything we stand for. They don’t care. They don’t care about L’Manberg, they just care about votes. We care about L’Manberg, and so did SWAG until they-” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:15:58, 20th Sep)

“They’re gonna tear down the walls… … Tommy. They say they’re gonna tear down the walls. They’re gonna open it up to Americans. Our safe space! Our safe space. Remember, remember when we made the park? That was fun. Remember the Camarvan? Remember all the history we’ve had here? They’re gonna tear it down.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:18:17, 20th Sep)

“This isn’t- This isn’t- I’m not gonna be able to do anything to stop them tearing down the walls. I just need to have one- I’m doing this for principle, I’m doing this for tradition. I need to just have one last look, TommyInnit. I need to look at it one more time before it’s gone.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 38:18, 22nd Sep)

“No, I need to- I need to watch this, I need to- This was- This is a huge part of my- I need to, I need to- It would be- It’s like not turning up to a funeral.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:21, 22nd Sep)

“Will there be a L’Manberg after tonight?” (Tommy)

“Not as we know it.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 50:03, 22nd Sep)

“Killing Schlatt wouldn’t do anything, killing Schlatt wouldn’t fix a single thing, that would not fix a single issue. ‘Cause then Quackity would just become President, and who knows if that would be worse, and then George would be Vice President. Then if we kill Quackity, then George would be President. It means nothing, Tommy. It wouldn’t have mattered if you killed him or not.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:07:52, 8th Oct)

“Then let’s be the bad guys. Tommy, why not? Why not? Look, our nation’s gone, our nation’s far behind us, Tommy. Let’s blow that motherfucker to smithereens.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 16:33)

“What’s the point, Tommy? What’s the point in rebuilding this entire place from scratch?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:14:07, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“How are you gonna make Schlatt lose?” (Tubbo)

“By destroying the one thing we care about.” (Alivebur)

- (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:15, 13th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“T- Tommy, your only decree as President happened to be one of the best decrees you could have ever make! Welcome to L’Manberg, L’Manberg, welcome, please use the name correctly from here on. And so in keeping with the theme, I am also going to do a change.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:27, 16th Nov)

“That flag you that see over there, the obsidian one, scrap it. That is not the national flag of our nation. The national flag of our nation is yellow, black, red, white, and blue. And that’s how it should be, and that’s one of the first things I want changed.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:43, 16th Nov)

“And this is something I want this to be one last time. It’s important to know how to say goodbye to a nation, to my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:08:47, 16th Nov)

“That there was a special place, there was, was a special place, where men could go and emancipate, you know. And there was definitely, that special place did exist once, it did. It did. But even with Tubbo in charge, I don’t think it can exist again. I don’t think it can exist again.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:12:22, 16th Nov)

“The thing that I built this nation for doesn’t exist anymore! The thing I worked towards doesn’t exist anymore! It’s over.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:13:11, 16th Nov)

“I was just saying, I made this big point, and it was poignant, and it was that, it’s um, that there was a special place where men could go but it’s not there anymore, you know. It’s not-” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:43, 16th Nov)

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

“Yeah, it’s great. I personally am a big, big fan of the song. Not just 'cause I wrote, I know, you know they say, you know they always say you are your own worst critic. But, I mean, I, I think it’s good.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:07, 3rd Aug)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Anyway, I’m excited, let’s go to L'Manberg. Or to what was L'Man- It’s just a big glass thing now, isn’t it?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:56, 3rd Aug)

“I- Ah- It’s kinda- I’m not a fan. It’s kinda rude to L'Manberg’s history, you know? It’s called L'Manberg. It’s called L'Manberg. Not Manberg, not L'Crater, or whatever. L'Manhole… I don’t care. It’s now, L'Manberg. It’s always L'Manberg. It’s just how it goes.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:06, 3rd Aug)

“Ohh! It’s got the flag, man! Can we go down and see the flag?! Come on, come on, come on! Fuck, get me down there, get me down there. Shit, I’m struggling to climb! I’m like a lemming. I don’t care, I’m just gonna jump!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:49, 3rd Aug)

“See, this is, this is what it deserved. Not that glass bullshit, you know? This is what it needed. It needed this like, this like beautiful overgrown, like- It feels like, it feels like, it feels like, you know, it happened now, you know? It doesn’t just feel like, it doesn’t just feel like, 'oh yeah it’s a monument’. It feels like- This is- You know, nature’s claimed it back and this is the world.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 12:14, 3rd Aug)

“It’s weird seeing you here.” (Tubbo)

“Wha- What, in L'Manberg? That seems like the most normal place to see me, right?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 13:57, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“You feel lost without, without a nation. I guess that’s where anarchy fails.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:51, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah we fought against Dream, uh, and we managed to- We succeeded and we created a life for ourselves.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:13, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“The time of safety, the time of fun, prosperity, you know. We built parks, we had, you know, no taxes, we had big walls. We had democracy. Albeit, a slightly disjointed version of it. But, you know. I want, that’s how people remember L'Manberg. That’s what people think of when they think of our nation.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“And you know, Tubbo, Tubbo’s the last connection we really have. I mean, he… he’d said it himself he’s kind of, you know, he’s got nothing without it.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:36, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve heard about what- what- Tommy’s, you know, moved on, and how Jack’s moved on, and Niki’s moved on, and everyone’s moved on from L'Manberg, at least partially, but Tubbo, man, he’s still…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:45, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

Ghostbur wore this care for L’Manburg and its people on his sleeve as well (and rebuilt most of it when making New L’Manburg):

“Everything for L’Manberg. For L’Manberg, my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:46:29, 24th Nov)

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“I’m going to go see this cage.” *starts singing the first verse of the anthem* - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:17:18, 16th Dec)

“I wrote the verses! I wrote the second and third verses it was a very happy memory for me.“ - (Philza��s Just a regular day: 1:17:44, 16th Dec)

“Phil, I don’t think a cage is very indicative of L’Manberg. I’m going to get rid of the cage.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:18:16, 16th Dec)

“Freedom! This entire nation’s about freedom and doing whatever you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:41, 16th Dec)

“I just destroyed the cage, I destroyed the shackles of oppression, I have drained the bog- the mire of injustice, and I have found peace in a land of tyranny!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:47, 16th Dec)

“Ranboo, don’t you think Phil can leave his house? He can leave his house, can’t he, Ranboo?” (Ghostbur)

“He can’t, he’s legally not able to.” (Ranboo)

“But- Where men can go and emancipate. Do you know what emancipate means?” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:05, 16th Dec)

“But L’Manberg’s all about freedom, and doing whatever you want, and being able to be whoever you want and go where you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:25, 16th Dec)

“I just took down the cage that you built, ‘cause I think that was a mistake. And I think maybe Philza should be let out of his house because he’s a citizen of L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:35, 16th Dec)

“Why- Why did you- Why did you blow up L’Manberg?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:19, 6th Jan)

“You knew Friend was in your house! You knew! Stop! Stop! Stop! You knew Friend was in your house! You knew everything everyone owned was in this town!” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:39, 6th Jan)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil. But, look what you’ve done. How can you look at this and still see yourself as a hero. Sending a message, Phil. Sending a message?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“Me? I’ve just been, you know, having a nice time wandering. I’ve been wandering around L’Manberg, something keeps drawing me to L’Manberg, so I’ve just sorta been hanging out there. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:05, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know it just feels like I have to be there, you know?” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:17, 22nd Apr)

-He didn’t leave, nor escaped consequences, nor pressured Phil into killing him. He committed suicide

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I have been here, like seven or eight times I have been here… Seven or eight times” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:56, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’ve been here here so many times.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:13, 16th Nov)

“I don’t even know if it works anymore, Phil. I don’t even know if the button works. I could, I could… press it, and it might-” (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:29, 16th Nov)

“There was a saying, Phil, by a traitor, once part of L’Manberg. A traitor I don’t know if you’ve heard of Eret? He had a saying, Phil. It was never meant to be.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:56, 16th Nov)

“My L’Manberg, Phil! My unfinished symphony! Forever unfinished! If I can’t have this, no one can, Phil!” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:16:40, 16th Nov)

“Kill me Phil. Phil kill me. Phil, kill me. Phil, stab me with a sword, murder me now. Kill me. Killza. Killza. Do it. Murder me. Look, they all want you to! Do it Phil, kill me. Phil, kill me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:22)

“God you’re… You’re my son!” (Philza)

“Phil, kill me!” (Wilbur)

-(Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:34)

“Look! Look! How much work went into this and it’s gone?!” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:42)

“Do it. Do it.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:17:20, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

-He wasn't in fact abusive in Pogtopia

Since this would be proving a negative, refer back to prior points regarding his care for people, his situation during Pogtopia, his care for L'Manburg and its people, etc

-He’s only taken one life (which was canonized only in retrospect)

This was Jack Manifold's second life, canonized as being killed by Wilbur in the Manburg vs Pogtopia war, so... you know... A goddamn WAR. And this was also not a canon life at the time, being turned canon in retrospect due to the canonization of Jack "losing his lives and going to hell just to crawl out of it"

-He wanted Phil to be proud of him and not worry (which is why he lied in the letters)

“I miss Philza. I wonder if he’d be proud of me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 52:17, 16th Oct)

“I’m excited to meet Phil. I, I hope he-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 44:10, 5th May)

“Phil, I- … Phil, I’ve made an agreement with myself that I wouldn’t lie now that I’ve been brought back to life, because the thing is, Phil, I wasn’t that big of a liar in the first place but just y- Try- Imagine you’re at summer camp, Phil! Imagine you’re away at summer camp, and you’re having the worst shit time of your life but your parents are paying good money for it right. And your parents ask you, 'hey, how are you doing at summer camp?’, I’m not gonna write back, 'Oh yeah, it’s fine, the counsellor’s just burnt down the group house, but we’re having a great time!’. You know, no, I’m gonna tell you it’s going great, I’m gonna tell you it’s marvellous. I did it to save your feelings, Phil, and I’m… I’m sorry I forgot to write, and that’s why you ended up coming down, but, like it’s not- It wasn’t spite, it wasn’t spite, I promise.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 50:37, 5th May)

-He tends to project his own feelings when talking to other people about how he sees they feel

“When I look at you, as a fellow outsider… you’re not ready for that. I’m leaving.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:48, 12th Apr)

“Tommyinnit, you’re scared that people are gonna think differently of you. Tommy, when I said you’re never gonna be president, you gotta understand, that wasn’t a challenge, that’s true. You’re never gonna be president, Tommy. And I can hear it in your voice, you’re trying sound like you know what you’re doing, so that you can prove me wrong. Tommy, none of us know what we’re doing. We’re fucked, we were fucked the minute we were thrown out.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 19:39)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“Sounds like you’ve set yourself up for a bit of a stressful life with this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 26:23, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“We may have so much different, but you know what the one thing we’ve got in common, our strongest point, and you mustn’t take offence to this. Neuroticism.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:26, 25th July)

“Me and you are just as neurotic as each other, just as nervous. But the thing is, it’s not our downfall, you know. Anxiety isn’t necessarily, you know, an evil trait to have. Anxiety is what kept our ancestors alive, Ranboo. You, me, your parents, whoever they may be, my parents. Do you know how they’re alive? Because they were anxious. They didn’t let another thing kill them, they didn’t let another thing take them down. Our ancestors, the cavemen in the words, or caveendermen, I guess. They were anxious when they heard the lion roar, the were anxious when they heard the wolf howl. And you know what they did? They got inside and they hid. And that’s why we’re here today.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:37, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

-He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“When I look at him… When I look at him, when he’s helping me out, building things with me… I see the same eyes that looked at me when, when…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:43, 3rd Aug)

“There weren’t some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn’t a very well man. And I can just see Tommy from that day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:54, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He did in fact spend 13 and a half years in limbo. Alone. In the dark. Deprived of everything

“I- I feel so numb, I feel… Who- Wh- Are you- Who the fuck- Who the fuck is this- Who the fuck’s, Friend?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:28, 29th Apr)

“I’m sor- I’ve obviously- No, no, no, no. I’ve obviously missed a beat here. I’ve missed a beat. What’s happening? Why am I here?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:54, 29th Apr)

“I have spent thirteen and a half years, in the fucking-!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:05, 29th Apr)

“I can- I can feel…” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:23, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I- Tommy, I don’t know if you remember- … Tommy, I don’t if you- Do you remember when you came to visit me briefly? That was lovely, by the way. I cherished that day you came to visit me, TommyInnit. I cherished that. Remember when we played competitive solitaire for like three months! It was brilliant! I wish you’d dropped in longer.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:29, 29th Apr)

Tommy, I don’t know if you remember me telling you this, it was quite a few years ago for me now. But my personal limbo was a train platform, Tommy. It was a train platform. No matter where I look, no matter where I went, just concrete walls all around, and a tube with a track running straight along.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 56:33, 29th Apr)

“It doesn’t matter what I did, Tommy. I could claw on the walls, I could bash on the doors, I could scream for help- I screamed until my lungs were sore, till my voice was hoarse. And nothing ever changes, nothing ever comes, nothing ever helps you, Tommy.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:00, 29th Apr)

“And then you arrive, you arrive, and it was great! And then you left. You got on a train and you left.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:12, 29th Apr)

“Well, I, I’m in my forties now, Tommy. I mean, I’m- Uh. I counted the years, man. How old are you now, what, you must be like, what, twenty, thirty? You’re in your twenties, thirties now? How old are you? I mean it’s been a long time. It’s been thirteen years.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 9:00, 5th May)

“I had thirteen years, I had thirteen years in complete solitude, Phil. Mostly complete solitude. In a dim room. No, no, Phil, it’s like method acting. I’ve- I- I- I- I- Honestly, if you’d got me out of there about six years into it, man, you would have not liked to see me then. I was, I was not in a good state six years ago. But now, man, now, thirteen years later? It’s like I came full circle, I’m a new man, I’m a fresh face. Isn’t that right, Tommy?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:07, 5th May)

“Okay. Tubbo, I’ve literally- I was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn’t long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you, but, thirteen years, Tubbo. Thirteen years of my life. I aged! Look at me, I’m not the same young man you knew!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:52, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve, I’ve been through it. And in those thirteen years, Tubbo, I wasn’t just sat twiddling my thumbs just going 'Oo this is nice, oh, I’m in darkness right now’. You know, I was, I was thinking.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:10, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

He’s missing huge chunks of information, even with some of Ghostbur’s memories (since he doesn’t know about doomsday, we can know that he at least doesn’t exactly know about everything Ghostbur even saw, and with Ghostbur’s memory issues in mind, we could assume he’s missing whatever Ghostbur’s mind considered a “bad memory”):

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I remember the prison, because I’ve got- I remember some of what Ghostbur remembers.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:21, 5th May)

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“He seems- I remember him as a good guy. Ghostbur really liked this guy. I have this memory.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:59, 5th May)

“So, Las Nevadas, Snowchester… I thought- Techno and Phil told me they were successful- Well, just Phil, I haven’t spoken to Techno since it happened. But like, Phil told me that they were successful and that there’s no more nations anymore, and that it’s anarchy. ” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 45:50, 25th July)

“Wait and that’s- Hold on. Why would, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil want to blow up L'Manberg? Didn’t they live here? I mean, I don’t know about Techno but-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:18, 3rd Aug)

“And it was just Techno and Phil?” (Alivebur)

“Yes…” (Tubbo)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:39, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

He’s expressed that he’s ecstatic to be alive again and never wants to go back to limbo:

“Ohhh. Ohhh, Tommy. Ohh, Tommy. Tommy, this is bliss!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:32, 29th Apr)

“Oh my god the sunrise. Where’s the sun- I need to watch the sun rise. Oh! Tommy, I’ve waited so fucking long. Tommy, I have been waiting over a decade, in near darkness. This is my sunrise. This is my sunrise. This is mine! This is mine, Tubbo!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:43, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, it was the worst time of my fucking life, Tommy. Tommy, I don’t know if you know-” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:53, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I’ve been given a new lease on life. There’s so much I need to do, Tommy. There’s so much I’ve gotta do. There’s so much! Tubbo, are you coming, and Ranboo…?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:16, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

“I have this lease on life, and by god, if life’s a fucking horse, I’m gonna ride it, Tommy! I’m sor- I’ve gotta go. I’ve got things to do, I’ve got things to plan. I’ll see you soon, alright? I’ll see you next time. Alright, bye guys! Bye, bye!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:24, 29th Apr)

“No, no, no, oh no, god forbid, god for- I can eat, I can feel. Hit me, pinch me, pinch me. Ah! See? I’m tangible.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 21:58, 31st May)

-He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia

I need to make some apologies. I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

“But like I think, I think I do need to um. I need to apologise to some people, you know, I’ve gotta make amends. I’ve gotta make amends, and I promise that’s true.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:27, 5th May)

“I know- Look at me, look at me in the eyes. I know it’s hard to believe when you look at me, that I… you know- I’ve turned over a new leaf, I’ve turned over a new leaf, you know. I’m feeling good! I’m feeling really, really… well. In the head, in the body. I feel limber.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:38, 5th May)

“I wanna apologise to Skeppy. You know, I wanna say sorry to Skeppy if Skeppy has got some problems with me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:45, 5th May)

“No, I need to apologise, man. It’s important that I…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:59, 5th May)

“Jack, I came here for one simple reason, Jack. One simple reason. Jack, it’s super simple! Jack, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t grant freedom and liberty to Manifoldland, and I’m sorry I led you into war that you didn’t have faith in, I’m sorry that I denied you access to the election, and I’m sorry you were just kinda left behind the whole time. I’m sorry. And I’m especially sorry for of course blowing up your house and your world.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:59, 5th May)

“Hm. Yes. I am. Yep. I am. And I- You don’t have to forgive me, you don’t have to accept my apology, I will- I will, em- I’ll go, uh, but yeah.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 23:33, 5th May)

“Listen, Tommy, Tommy, and in my oath of not lying, I’m gonna tell you now, Tommy, I’m sorry for a couple things, to each of these people, right, on the server. I’m sorry to a lot of them, except for Phil. I have nothing to apologise to Phil for, Phil has done nothing wrong.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:50, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’ve said this before, I have no issue with anyone on the server. I am deeply apologetic.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 28:47, 5th May)

“Tommy’s very suspicious of me because of who I was, you know? Who I was, but it’s uh. Look, I’m apologetic, I’m genuinely I, I feel very bad for everything that I did, and I shan’t do something similar to that again.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:55, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Uh, I saw Jack Manifold, I saw Phil, I saw this Ranboo guy, Tommy, obviously, and now you. I mean there’s lots of people who I wish I could see, like I wish I could just tell them like ‘I’m alive!’ and, and apologise, and also thank them.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:01:38, 31st May)

“Alright. I mean, I’m trying to move past that kinda stuff…” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:21, 25th July)

“Look, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not coming at you here like judging you. I- I’m not one to talk about conflict, man.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 33:27, 25th July)

“Do you know all it took- Do you know I demolished Jack Manifold’s house, twice. I brutally ignored him during the war of L'Man- He fought for my country, and I ignored him. I didn’t look at him, I didn’t give him so much as a medal, I didn’t give so much as a rank. I gave him the lowest rank on the cabinet. And do you what it took, do you know what it took for him to forgive me? A sorry.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:10, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:55, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Give me time. I’m gonna, I’m gonna make something, I’m gonna make something of this and I’m gonna… Um…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“This is- I mean, I’ve gotta, I’ve gotta- You know, I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it’s hard, I mean I’ve… It’s… It’s difficult. It’s difficult, man.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:20, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

-He doesn’t want to be like Dream really, he just wants his punishment to be visible (and considers him his hero for taking him out of the horrid experience that was limbo coupled with him missing huge chunks of information about what went down when he was dead)

“My hero! My fucking hero, Dream, saved me from that hell!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:00, 29th Apr)

“I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Dream was the only that held my seat for me. He kept it warm, he kept my throne warm, and you guys didn’t like that, so you threw him in prison. And if Dream died instead of me, I would be in there right now.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:07, 5th May)

“So, Tommy, you should thank that I wasn’t alive to attack Dream when we got exiled. You should glad we had little passive Ghostbur, because now Dream’s in there, and I’m out here, baby. And I wanna stretch my legs, let’s go for a walk.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:19, 5th May)

“Because, because, if you hadn’t done that, I would have ended up living in the- I would have been exiled with TommyInnit, and then I would have gotten angry at Dream 'cause Dream can’t go around hurting Tommy like that. I would have gotten angry at Dream and I would have tried to fight Dream. Which I now see would have been a silly move because Dream’s my hero, Dream’s amazing! So like, I would have ended up fighting Dream, and then, I would have been the one in prison and not Dream.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 48:52, 5th May)

“Well, yes, but I wouldn’t have stood for Dream’s shit. Whilst Tubbo did stand for it, you know, but that’s fair enough, I don’t hold it against him.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 49:27, 5th May)

“Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, what’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:42, 25th July)

“I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because Dream’s in prison and I’m not!” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:57, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m not Dream. God I wish I was! Sometimes, I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance, but, Ranboo, I’m not Dream, and I’m not gonna be Dream.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:22, 25th July)

-He believes he doesn’t have inherent worth as a human, thus he has to serve a role in some big plan or win people over to stay with him

“Tubbo, I don’t know if you are just preferring his rule over mine, and I- I feel like I’ve got to win you over.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:22:15, 23rd Sep)

“Dream, let me be your vassal. Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT, a lot of the ol’ trinitrotoluene in your possession, don’t you? You do! Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:33:27, 8th Oct)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“Tommy’s only known me for a few hours now. I mean I disappeared after coming back to life, 'cause- I’ve made some plans, I’ve made some plans. Which, don’t worry, you’ll be hearing about them first, Phil. I’m getting you in, I’m getting you in on the ground floor, right. And you Tommy, and you Tommy, of course. But like, you’ve gotta understand- They’re not ready yet, the plans aren’t ready yet.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:59, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m impressed, man. I, honestly- Can I be honest with you, Tommy? I, um. Look, I’ve gotta be honest with you, man, like, like, Wilbur he makes some mistakes sometimes, Tommy. He makes mistakes. And I, I may have forgotten asking you to get the stone.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 9:28, 31st May)

“If I, I, I, I, if I’d known that there was gonna be a place that I could align myself to as quickly as this, I would have done it sooner.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 23:44, 31st May)

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you, I assume. I, I, I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:00, 31st May)

“No, you’ve got it all wrong, you’ve got it all wrong, man. Like, like, okay, maybe, maybe I was unpredictable in the past, you know, but I’ve turned over a new leaf, Quackity. I don’t lie anymore, I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I don’t, I know nothing about TNT anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about TNT, it’s ridiculous.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:45, 31st May)

“Quackity, I, I don’t know what you mean about my unpredictability, man. But like, listen to me, look at me, look at me. I am, I am your, I am your servant, Quackity. Look, Quackity, look me at me, look me in the eyes, look me in the eyes, I am your servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I have, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership, I can be, I can be, you know, assistant to the President. Just, I- This is- Quackity, this is everything I dreamt of, a solid marble and quartz…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 25:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, you’re making a mistake, man. You should- You need to let me in, you need to let me be a part of this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:03, 31st May)

“Quackity, Quackity, I’m, Quackity, listen, I need this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:17, 31st May)

“Listen, Tommy, I heard what he was saying to you, man, and you don’t seriously believe that, do you? Like, like, man, Tommy, you… I’ll be honest with you, can I be honest with you for a second? I, I think you going with Quackity, you’ll have a job. You’ll have a job, right, you’ll be fine, you’ll, you know, you’ll be set for life. You’ll be a caterer.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 38:56, 31st May)

“Look, Tommy, look at me, I’m, I’m not gonna stop you man, but… you’re… I’ll be honest with you, you’re all I’ve got.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:39, 31st May)

“Oh, Jack Manifold’s fine, but he wouldn’t do this, he’s too busy with his hotel business and stuff, and uh- And you’ve got Philza. Philza is on the wrong end of a bad stick, as you could say. He’s taken up some ideas about authoritarianism that I just don’t agree with.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:48, 31st May)

“Well, I just wanted to say, I wanted to say… Tommy, I don’t want to make a country. I’m past that, man. I wanna make a HQ. I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“You know what they say about casinos? It’s all lights, it’s all plastic, it’s all glitter, but there’s nothing of substance. You know what has substance, Tommy? Family. Blood. Please stay with me, Tommy. Stay on this side. Don’t go to him and his cushy catering job. It’s gonna be hard over here, man! You’re gonna have to do some stuff that isn’t fun, but it’s, it’s rewarding. Hedonism doesn’t get you everywhere, man.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:49, 31st May)

-The whole not having a grave thing really hit him even if he played it off

Ghostbur talks about him not having a grave:

“You’re the best president L’Manburg’s ever had” (Ghostbur)

“Really? You think so? I’m-” (Tubbo)

“Oh, for sure! For sure!” (Ghostbur)

“Are you sure you were not better the first term? Before I… came in” (Tubbo)

“Look Tubbo, I- I don’t know what I did, but it was enough that I don’t even deserve a-” (Ghostbut)

“Do you not even remember the first term, Wilbur? Your second term was where it kinda backed” (Tubbo)

“I remember- I remember my- I remember my- my first term, but I’m just saying- (coughs)” (Ghostbur)

“But you brought freedom to the nation” (Tubbo)

“I- I had a second term?” (Ghostbur)

“Oh…oh, yeah… I guess you don’t remember the second term” (Tubbo)

“(coughs) Tubbo, I- I-“ (Ghostbur)

“Wilbur, Wilbur, do you need some blue? Do you need some blue, Wilbur?” (Tubbo)

“No, it’s cool, I’ve got loads of blue. I say- I’m just saying Tubbo, look… At the end of the day, it’s- I… I don’t- I feel like I was a good president, but I-I wa- Tubbo, I wasn’t… I-I wasn’t good enough to deserve a gravestone… A-and everyone hated me” (Ghostbur)

-(Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 30:14, 7th Dec)

Then revived Wilbur concealing his feelings about it while sprinkling some self-hatred in there (and admitting that he was bothered about in in the 3rd of August stream):

“I know this may be a bit ominous, Tommy, and I’m sorry if it’s a little bit morbid, could- Look, I’m just saying, Tommy, could I, could I see my grave? Tommy, could I see my grave?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:10, 5th May)

“Look, I know it’s a bit macabre, but I, I, I would like to see. You know, I wanna see- I wanna see what- You know there’s that kinda morbid fascination of what would people say about you when you’re dead, you know? You ever heard that?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:33, 5th May)

“That’s fucking sick, that’s so sick, man. You’re saying my grave is the city? They made the city my grave that’s badass, dude. … You just said it was this. … Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

-He’s desperate for companionship, for someone to stick by him, he wants a friend

“We’re leaving it behind, Tommy. It’s in the past. We’re friends now, we’re friends. We’re friends.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:38, 5th May)

“You’re following me for quite a while for someone who doesn’t care.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:49, 5th May)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“I’m ready for this new chapter, this new page. Do you trust me? Do you believe that I’m about to turn over a new leaf, Tommy? … You believe I’m about to turn over a new leaf, even if that does involve changing a few things.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 55:01, 5th May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“No, no, no, no, look, look, okay. As we’re putting it behind us, Tommy, I’m- Tommy, I take back what I- I’m fine with you working here, and still being, you know. As long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own, I have no problem with you working here, man. … That’s what I’m saying, don’t feel pressured, it’s cool.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 51:50, 31st May)

[Mouthing: ‘Stay, stay, stay’] “Tommy, you can, you can join, I don’t mind, I’m totally cool with you joining here and being apart of the…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:02:31, 31st May)

“Tubbo, what the fuck…! Fuck! Tubbo, why are you- Why? Why did you- Why did you get employed at the- restaurant?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 20:10, 4th Aug)

“Tubbo, are you- You’re aware that you’re- that we’re in competition now, right? We’re, we’re- Tubbo, we’ve always been on the same side, man! We’ve always been together, you’re- head to head with me now though.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 22:20, 4th Aug)

“I’m not- Does it look like I’m taking it the wrong way? I’m perfectly- I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m happy for Tubbo. I’m happy Tubbo’s got a j- Yes! I’m happy Tubbo’s got a job, man. Tubbo, you were telling me yesterday how you felt like you lacked direction, you lacked purpose.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 23:45, 4th Aug)

“Bro, how could I be angry about that, man?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:01, 4th Aug)

“But I get it, I get it, you know, Quackity… He’s a, he’s a hard man to refuse.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:09, 4th Aug)

His friendship with Ranboo evolving to a point where he’s vulnerable with him for real and feels he can trust him with what he’s really feeling because Ranboo feels reliable to him (something really rare from Wilbur, refer back to the paranoia part of this):

“Okay, I know we haven’t really got off on- we haven’t got off on the best of terms from the first time we met, I know we had that argument, but uh. I like, you know, I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet. Let’s be- Ranboo, I’m gonna go out on a whim here. Do, do you wanna be friends?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 18:07, 25th July)

“And, man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me. Do you remember what you said? You said, 'I think people can change’, that was number one. And number two, you said you’re scared if people don’t like you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:45, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“Nine to five? Dude, I don’t make you work nine to five. You just have to work when we run out of burgers, man. You’re free to do what you want. You’re working part-time for Wilburger, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 5:18, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I think, hm. Ranboo, I think, I think you’ve, you’ve kind of taken a side here it feels like which is- Which feels like a change for you, I mean, I’m not used to this from you. I mean, you’re Mr Not Choosing A Side, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 7:39, 4th Aug)

“No, but, no, but, you don’t need to have an impact on the world, Ranboo, to matter, you know? You don’t need to build a fucking Eiffel Tower just to be, you know. Just to mean something, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 8:47, 4th Aug)

“Ranboo, Ranboo, don’t get me wrong, you’re talking to me here. I think it’s cool that you’re, that you’re, you know, going out and doing stuff.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:03, 4th Aug)

“I think it’s very cool that you’ve decided to go out and, and change how, you know, change this for the better. I think it’s for the better.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:14, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, and, man, honestly? I’m proud of you, bro. I know I don’t know you very well, I haven’t known you for very long, but, you know, I think you’ve done a really good job here.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:50, 4th Aug)

“Ohh, Ran… I feel you, I feel you, Ranboo, about the… compet- It’s scary, it’s scary, man. Especially when, you know, we got a long way to go, we got a lot of bridges to cross, and, and maybe one day we’ll be ready to like, you know, grab it all by the horns and ride it, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:38, 4th Aug)

“But right now it’s- it’s just- It’s just you and me against the world. The world being Tubbo and Quackity.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:55, 4th Aug)

“That’s cool. Because, because at the end of the day we’re- Going right now we’re, we’re the good guys, Ranboo. We’re, we’re the good guys here, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I mean, we haven’t done anything wrong, you know? We’re the good guys, and, and Quackity, Quackity’s done a few things wrong.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

Have some of his passive aggressive attempts at friendship-rivalry with Quackity (They’re kids annoying each other and I adore that):

“So he didn’t like it? He didn’t like you setting up the cookie stand?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:33, 25th July)

“Okay. Okay. No, no, no, that’s good. That’s fine, that’s fine, you know? Because we’re, Ranboo, we’re not gonna annoy Quackity. We can’t annoy him, we can’t annoy him.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:44, 25th July)

“And the difference is that we’ll make our grill better than theirs. And then we’ll make lots of money, and Quackity will be left to, you know, maybe have to make a deal with us, maybe have to be, maybe have to be our friend.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 22:59, 25th July)

“Ranboo, how do you feel about thievery? … I’m going to steal Las Nevadas’s cows to cook into our burgers. And I’m not going to rebreed them. I am going to simply kill them.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:52, 25th July)

“Are you gonna steal all of them?” (Ranboo)

“Nah. Just enough that it’s annoying, you know?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 42:14, 25th July)

“I gave him back all the materials, 'cause, I gave him all the materials for the wall, and I also, I also, uh, left him a diamond or two. Just to say like, you know, no hard feelings, you know, it was just for, just you know, just to, you know, prove a point.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:18, 4th Aug)

“Basically, Quackity’s here, and I just wanna, I just wanna see how he feels.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:32, 4th Aug)

“Normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, 'cause I’m not allowed in Las Nevadas, normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, Quackity is the first one to come and tell me to fuck off.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:43, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, man, it’s- Half of the fun of making something and doing cool things is that moment where everyone, you know, where you get to see what everyone feels about it.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:55, 4th Aug)

“Wait here, look, I promise you, just you wait. Just you wait. Ready? Ready? Are you ready? Are- Are you- Are you ready? Um… Uh…” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 11:06, 4th Aug)

“This guy. Ranboo, I swear to god, like I, I feel like I understand him, I feel like I know how his brain works, you know, how his- how the- how the cogs in his mind go. And then he just, and then he just goes and proves that he doesn’t give a shit.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 12:56, 4th Aug)

“Which is why I can’t wait to show off what I’ve done, to him. But, he’s just nowhere to be seen.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 13:12, 4th Aug)

“Oh, okay, you’re talking about- OHHHHH, look who’s here! Quackity! It’s lovely to see you, man, it’s been a while. How have you been?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:22, 4th Aug)

“Uh, I’ve just arrived, you know, I just arri- I, I haven’t been long for you. I, I wouldn’t- Quackity, you think, you think I’d wait for you?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:35, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, it’s, it’s good to see you too, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:53, 4th Aug)

“Hey, man, you know, every- every, you know. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Small steps and that, you can’t-” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:17, 4th Aug)

“Dododododooo, that was a good joke, Quackity, you’re funny. Dododo, you’re very nice to me and you never bring up my past. Dododo.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:45, 4th Aug)

“Sorry if you noticed a little bit, you know, a little bit of superficial damage. I left you a little gift, as well, afterwards, I’m sure that’s okay. That was Ranboo and me, uh, did that, actually, to your restaurant. Ranboo and I.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 18:05, 4th Aug)

“Well, we’ve gotta go, we’ve gotta go. It was lovely, it was absolutely lovely hanging out with you. I, I am just thrilled that you liked the renovations.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:30, 4th Aug)

“Wait- Wait, I’m allowed in Las Nevadas?” (Alivebur)

“Wilbur, you’re not- You’re taking this the wrong way, man.” (Quackity)

“You told me I couldn’t come in and now-”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:56, 4th Aug)

“You’re a good man. You’re a good man, Quackity. I’ll, I’ll give you that.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:29, 4th Aug)

“Ohh boy! Ha ha ha ha, ha! Oh, this is good, this is- this is exactly what I want. Did you see how- Dude, dude, Ranboo, he was trying act like I didn’t get to him.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:47, 4th Aug)

“He cares so much, he cares so much.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:06, 4th Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He doesn’t love TNT. He self-harms with it

“Tommy, I don’t need armour. You don’t seem to understand…!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 11:24, 16th Oct)

“I am concerned. I’m being very careful, Tommy.” (Alivebur)

“Yeah but you’re not wearing any armour, or you don’t have any defences on you.” (Tommy)

“Well for what?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Festival: 14:23, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

He’s let TNT explode on him and take away half his hearts when blowing up the corner of Quackity’s restaurant in “Healthy competition” (around 55:50)

He also self-harms by letting creepers blow up next to him, saying he doesn’t fear death even when he’s expressed to not want to go back to limbo and that he’s incredibly happy about being alive again:

“Tommy, listen to me, man. I don’t fear death, I don’t fear death, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 57:23, 5th May) (In this scene he let a creeper explode next to him)

Even Ghostbur showed some explosion trauma:

[Sees TNT placed] “Oh, no.” [Hears explosion] “Uhh… Guys I- I think I should go, I think I should go. … Yeah, I’m not too sure about all this.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 48:38, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know, I just don’t- I don’t like the sound of those fireworks. … I don’t- I really, really don’t like the sound of the fireworks.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:00, 22nd Apr)

“Okay, Tommy, I’ll go to Pogtopia. I just don’t wanna be- I don’t wanna be there. Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry, I’ll help you- I’ll get you more sand. Bye bye!” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:23, 22nd Apr)

-He’s as much of a person as everybody else on the SMP. Think about that

[untaemedqueen]

Red Sus (M)

Idol!Jeongguk x Girlfriend!Reader

WordCount: 3.9k

Genre: Smut, Porn With Little Plot, Fluff, Among Us!Fic, Among Us!Crack?

Warnings: Jeongguk’s Hot Headed Ass, Taehyung LITERALLY THROWING THE GAME, Impreg Kink, Big IQ Brain Power Plays, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Praise, Edging, Unprotected Sex, Belly Buldge, Cunnilingus, Pussy Slapping, Spitting, Doggy Style, Multiple Orgasms, Cream Pie

A/N: Sooooo I’m too obsessed with Among Us to not make a fic? And even though this is shorter than most that I make I thought it would be fun to whip something up in the spirit of BTS’ competitive games. Do I believe 100% that Kim Taehyung would throw a game? Absolutely. Thank you so much to the forever squad @ppersonna, @ladyartemesia, @xjoonchildx for letting me rant and talk about this insanity of a one shot and reading it! Thank you to baby Bucca @thejooncrew​ for reading it! I hope you enjoy the silly and the smutty! 

The house is filled with loud screams, mainly from your boyfriend as he ties his hair up into a ponytail.

You can see the sweat on his neck beading as he sits in the voting screen.

"Oh yeah?! Then Taehyung hyung, where were you? Because I went to reactor when it was called and you didn't follow me and now Hobi hyung is dead." Jeongguk goes quiet as he waits for his answer and you begin to smirk as the muscles in his back tense up.

"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LAME. LAME. LAME. RED SUS. RED SUS AS FUCK! There is no possible way you were in cafeteria! Because I ran through cafeteria from admin to get to the reactor!" Jeongguk has gotten angry during games before. But, this is the first time you've seen his neck veins bulging.

"Hyungs! It's not me! I didn't kill Hobi hyung!" He whines out before putting his elbows to his computer table and cupping his forehead with his hands.

"You're fucking throwing!" He complains and you watch the screen as his black character racks up smaller bodies beneath his name. He scoffs loudly as he mutes his mic before turning to you.

"I want you to play with us. I can't play with them. It's so frustrating." He whines as he rolls his chair over to you. He throws himself out of the chair and onto your lap as you caress his handsome face.

Guk has always been so competitive, so good with everything that you can understand him being frustrated in a game like this one. Sometimes he needs a little pick me up. A little incentive to get him going again. And you know just the thing.

"Alright, I’ll play. But how about if I win, we make a baby?" You ask and his eyes flash over with mischief.

“Yeah? You want to make a mini crewmate with me?” He asks playfully and you narrow your eyes at him for the bad joke.

“Okay. Okay. Sorry, no bad jokes. Only filling your pussy with my cum.” He says before he chuckles deeply as his hand roams over the curve of your side.

"That sound good? We play and if I win you can fuck a baby into me like you’ve been trying to do?" You ask once more. 

His bottom lip is between his teeth as his fingers drift over the imprint of your puffy nipple through your tank top.

"How about you play with the boys but I have to play with you while you do it? And if you win either Imposter or Crewmate then I'll fuck my baby into you like I've been dying to do since I met you five years ago." His offer is tempting and you begin to smile as he does the same.

His fingers drift over your nipples, watching them strain and become erect against the thin fabric.

“Game on, Jeon Jeongguk.”

With a sharp breath between his teeth, he leans up on his elbows. His tongue peeks out of his mouth to place wet kisses against your clothed chest. His tongue flicks at the stiff peaked bud, enjoying how the lavender shirt becomes darker with his saliva. 

"Guk?" You can hear faintly from the computer and he sits up quickly as he hears them call his name.

The word Defeat flashes on the screen and he sighs loudly as he shuffles back over to the computer desk. Fixing his erection, he puts his headphones back on.

"Y/N is going to play for me. I'm going to take a shower." He says calmly as you open up your laptop. He hands you his mouse as he gives them farewells. Booting up the screen, he reads out the letters of the private server before situating himself behind you.

You take in a sharp breath as he pulls your tank top over your head. Your mind already becoming foggy with thoughts of lust as the server boots up.

"Hey guys." You call out as you join the Discord server. 

"Hey hey!" Taehyung cheers as he runs around your purple character on screen.

You've played Among Us before with your friends but never your boyfriend's group. This will be interesting. You're usually very good and right now you need to be. There's nothing you want more in the world then to start a family with the man you love and adore.

"Start." Jin calls out and Jeongguk mutes your mic for you.

You take in a sharper breath than before as his thumbs swipe across your nipples. His lips trail from one shoulder to the other and you shudder as the Shhhh screen disappears.

"Impostor." You tell him and he chuckles to himself before nodding.

"Better hope you're good if you want me to fuck my cum into you and make this baby." He jeers. 

Faking tasks for you is easy, but it's considerably harder when your smoking hot boyfriend is behind you. He's touching every bit of flesh he can. Rolling and pinching your nipples just perfectly to distract you from the task at hand.

His lips are kissing at the shell of your ear when you get your first kill on Jimin in Navigation before hopping into the vent. 

"Every good kill you get, I'll reward you." Jeongguk whispers before peeking at the muted mic. Drifting his fingers south, he watches you as you jump out of the vent in admin before pretending to stalk the admin screen.

"Clean." Jeongguk whispers as Hoseok runs into the room. 

As you exit the admin screen, the dead body report comes up and Jeongguk holds his breath.

"It's Yoongi hyung! It's Yoongi hyung!" Taehyung chants and Guk laughs as you unmute your mic.

"What?! Why would you say that?!" Yoongi yells as you giggle.

“First of all, where’s Jimin’s body?” Namjoon asks and you hear Taehyung hum.

“He’s in Navigation.” He replies.

"I saw Y/N in admin so she's good." Hoseok calls out and your boyfriend gives a thumbs up.

He shoves his hand in your pants and you squirm nervously.

Parting the now slick folds of your pussy, his middle finger rubs smooth circles onto your clit. Your back falters into his chest at the pleasurable feeling and you find yourself giving the smallest whimper.

"Y/N, what did you do this round?" Namjoon asks and you clear your throat.

Jeongguk pauses to let you collect yourself.

"I did card swipe and wires in admin before staying on the admin screen to see if anyone vented." You say before hearing hums of agreement.

"Yeah. I'll take that. And, I did see her in admin so I believe it." Hoseok says. Jeongguk begins his unrelenting torture to your clit once more as he kisses softly down the back of your neck.

"YOONGI HYUNG IS SUS!" Taehyung screams and you can't help but giggle before gasping gently at the pleasure and muting your mic.

"Shut up Taehyung! You're the worst third impostor I've ever fucking seen. You're throwing, you IDIOT!" Yoongi screams back.

"Skip." Jin mumbles before the screen goes black once more.

"You're doing so well, baby girl." Guk whispers as he trails his slender fingers along your slick folds.

"Fuck. Guk." You whine as you put your head back to his shoulder.

"Better pay attention. If you want me to fuck a baby into you that is." He reminds you.

You were intrigued when you first found out about his kink but after watching some porn videos with him and hearing him talk about it in bed, it's certainly grown on you.

You stopped taking birth control a while ago and have been trying to have a baby for so long now. But, fun games like this couldn't hurt. They're exciting.

Starting the round, you head off towards reactor and pretend to do Simon Says when Namjoon enters to do 1-10.

You can barely focus as your boyfriend pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingertips. 

"Can't wait till you're swollen with my baby. Gonna let everyone know just how much I love on you. I can't wait till these pretty tits fill up with milk just for my child." Jeongguk whispers in your ear and you shiver before killing Namjoon and venting.

You sabotage the doors all around the left side before popping out of the vent in lower engine and running into electrical with Jin.

"Lean back a little bit for me, baby girl." Your boyfriend demands and you do as you're told. He thrusts two fingers deep into your cunt and you moan loudly at the tiny burn.

"You're so excited to have my baby. You hear how wet you are for me? Getting your cute little panties all soaked." He whispers before nipping at your earlobe.

You kill Jin before venting and Namjoon's body is found by Yoongi.

"SELF REPORTED!" Taehyung screams and you moan as Jeongguk curls his fingers to the delicate bundle of nerves inside of you.

"Shut the fuck up Taehyung. My God!" Yoongi whines.

"Where's the body?" Hoseok asks.

"Reactor. Oh shit. Jin is dead too. I think it's Taehyung or he's throwing." Yoongi says matter-of-factly. 

"Y/N, where were you this round?" Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk keeps pressure to your g-spot as you unmute.

"I did gas can top and then gas can bottom. Then went into electrical to do the three spinning things." You say before muting yourself again.

"I trust Y/N." Taehyung says before clearing his throat.

"Fuck Guk, keep going. My pussy is so wet for you." You whine as his large hand spreads your leg wider.

"We have to vote here guys." Hoseok calls out.

"I'm voting for Taehyung. He's putting the blame on me so it's got to be him." Jeongguk laughs behind you as he begins to fuck you with his fingers again.

"I'm going with Taehyung too." Hoseok says and you vote the second youngest out before moaning your boyfriend's name.

"That's it baby. Fuck, you love this." Your boyfriend mumbles as he pulls his cock out of his sweatpants.

"Kill one more and you get a fat load of cum up your needy cunt." He reminds you as Taehyung floats through the air. 

The heel of his palm digs into your clit and you whimper out as you watch Hoseok stay near the emergency meeting button.

You call reactor quickly and run across with both Yoongi and Hoseok as your cooldown meter ticks away to nothing. Finally you kill Yoongi and breathe a sigh of relief as you win the round.

"Damn. It wasn't Yoongi?" Taehyung asks dumbfounded.

"I said it wasn't me like fifty times KIM TAEHYUNG." Yoongi yells.

"Gg fellas. But I gotta go. Bye!" You squeal as you exit the Discord call.

Jeongguk puts your laptop and headphones on the floor before tackling you to the mattress with a sly grin.

He tugs off your sleep shorts and your underwear before taking off his sweatpants and smiling widely. 

You absentmindedly lick your lips as you stare at his rock hard cock. It was a sight you could never get tired of. Slightly curved and beading precum at the tip of his long length, he begins to chuckle as you eye him. The pink rose veins of his cock call out to you and you wrap your hand around the thick base earning a whimper from your boyfriend above you.

“Fuck. Baby.” He whines as you stroke him, feeling the velvety soft skin against your palm.

His cock twitches with need as you sit up.

Looking up at him below your thick lashes, he takes a sharp breath through his teeth anticipating what’s to come next. 

Your tongue swirls around the head of his cock, picking up the beads of precum that linger. Guk moans loudly above you, his hands grasp at your head as you enter him into your mouth. 

“Oh fuck, you’re so good at sucking my cock baby, shit.” He moans out. 

His perfectly manicured nails dig into your scalp and you bob your head. 

“Just like that. Keep going. I love when you slobber on my cock. Shows me how horny you get for me.” His bottom lip tucks between his teeth again as he pushes your head down, losing himself in the pleasure you’re giving him.

Your eyes spring with fresh tears as you gag on his large length and the sound only goads him on to hear more of them. 

Swallowing around his cock, he preens as he goes deeper and deeper within your throat.

“Such a good girl. Fuck.” He praises through gritted teeth. His eyes lock onto yours again as tears stream down your cheeks. 

“Yeah. Fuck you love this, don’t you? Love being a little cocksleeve for me.” His cock begins to throb within your throat and you whine at the feeling before he’s pulling out and sighing loudly.

“Lay down for me, baby girl.” He says as he pulls his hair tie tighter. 

Doing as told you let out a soft moan as his lips encircle your areola. His tongue flicks at your stiff peaked bud as his cock glides through your folds.

The stimulation to your clit is so powerful, you feel almost breathless. Every rut against your core has you losing all semblance of reality. 

“Yes. Yes. In me, please.” You beg as he shows love to your other breast. 

Aligning to your core, his hand cups your cheek. He gives you a small smile before pressing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss.

Gasping as he enters you, his tongue glides over yours as you grip his tattooed arms.

"Oh fuck!" You whine as your head lolls back.

"Oh my God." Guk groans as he buries his face into your neck.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, your nails scrape down the honey toned skin of his arms.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby. So wet and tight for me." He moans against your skin as he begins a relentless pace.

Taking his head away from your neck, he situates his hands on either side of your face before thrusting harder into you.

His eyes drift slowly down your body to where you are joined and he moans loudly before pressing his hand to your womb.

“Fuck, look how big my cock is in your tight little pussy.” He moans and your eyes drift to where he’s looking.

His cock is so long and thick inside of you, you can see the outline as he thrusts in and out of your soppy cunt.

“God, you’re incredible!” He whines as he picks up the pace.

Sitting up on his knees, his hips continue to snap and roll as a thin sheen of sweat graces his body.

Your fingers drift over the hard muscles of his abs as you moan for him. He fucks you so well, muddling your mind and drying your mouth and throat.

“You’re gonna look so good, nice and pregnant with my baby. So fucking perfect carrying my child inside of you. Shit! You’re so fucking wet!” He cries out as he grips your hips.

His perfect nails scrape down the skin of your hips and the slight twinge of pain earning a loud groan from you.

He’s so perfect. So yours. And, so eager to put what’s his inside of you.

“Tell me how much you want my baby inside of you.” Jeongguk demands as his hand reaches for the apex of your thighs. 

Rearing back and spitting on your already soaked pussy, his thumb begins to rub circles onto your clit. Your thighs lock and shake through the intense pleasure and you can barely think before he’s slapping your clit to demand words from your mouth.

“I want you to fuck a baby into me so badly. Want you to cum inside and watch me get all big with your baby.” You whine as you palm your breasts in hand.

“Fuck yes. Can’t wait till you're nice and big. Get to fuck you from behind with your belly in my hands.” He mumbles as his head lolls back.

You could feel yourself starting to reach the height of your pleasure. The pressure within you becomes almost too much to withstand. 

“Guk, please. Please! I want to cum!” You whine and he lets a smirk grace his features before he’s fucking you up the bed.

Your hands grip the sheets, white knuckling them as your eyes flutter shut. 

“Cum on my cock, baby girl. Show me how much you want my baby.” He demands as he pinches your clit.

Behind your eyes, a galaxy explodes and paints the back of your eyelids as you orgasm. Your ears ring and you can barely hear him praising you for all you’re worth.

“Oh fuck! You’re going to make me cum!” He whines as he pulls out of you.

You whimper at the loss. You feel drunk off his pleasure. Sluggishly you watch as his tattooed arms wrap around your thighs. 

Laying down between your thighs, he ruts his cock against the mattress as his face reaches towards your core.

“Guk!” You whine as he wraps his lips against your throbbing bud.

Your body jolts and tingles with overstimulation as you grip his ponytail.

“T-Too much! I can’t!” You cry out but he doesn’t listen. 

He gives soft licks to your clit, pushing you through the overstimulation until you’re preening for him again.

His name tumbles from your lips like a prayer as you begin to grind your spent cunt against his face begging for more.

Leaving your clit, his nose brushes against your nub as his tongue enters you. The muscular organ goes rigid as he fucks you before whirling around inside of you. With a yelp, you grip his hair harder within your grasp. Tugging almost painfully, he groans against you. The vibration seems to course through your body. The noise reinvigorating you for more.

“Oh fuck! Jeongguk!” You cry out as he grips your thighs harder. 

His eyes flutter shut and your breath hitches as he pulls away. 

“You taste so fucking good. So sweet.” He mumbles. 

The image of his handsome face, covered and shining in your slick is almost sensory overload for you. 

He smacks your pussy playfully once more before his hands grip your sides. In an instant you’re on your stomach, face pressed down into a pillow. 

Guk positions you to his liking, his hand roaming over the soft skin of your back before knocking your legs open. 

Grippin the back of your neck, he places soft kisses across your shoulder as he aligns himself back to your entrance.

“Fuck, I love you.” He murmurs into your ear.

“I love you t-” The final word is cut off with a loud moan as he enters you in one swift motion.

You can hear him groan low and deep in your ear, and can feel the rumble of his chest as he presses himself against your back. 

“Your pussy is so fucking sloppy. You’re creaming all over my cock, filthy girl.” He punctuates each word with a harsh thrust and your moans become stunted and muffled into the pillow.

Pulling away from your back, his hand grips your hair into a makeshift ponytail before tugging harshly as he fucks you with everything he has. 

You can hear his ragged breathing and his gentle moans letting you know how good you feel around him. 

“I can’t wait to fuck your pregnant pussy. I read it feels so much warmer and tighter. So much sweeter. You’re going to drive me insane with this pretty little cunt of yours.” He informs you as he hooks his hand around your throat.

Pulling you upright against his chest, he fucks up into you at a speed that should be illegal. Your hands scramble to grab anything as he applies the perfect amount of pressure to the column of your throat. 

Gasping in your pleasure, you grip at his arm feeling his muscles and veins flexing and protruding. His forehead presses against your temple and he curses softly in your ear as his cock thickens and throbs within you.

“Goddamn, baby girl. You’re going to make me cum. Rub your clit for me, cum on my cock first.” With a shaky hand you do as told, rubbing furious circles against your clit as your arousal drips down both his and your legs. 

“Guk! Fuck! I want to get pregnant for you so badly!” You cry out as his teeth gingerly clamp your earlobe.

“I know, baby girl. You want me to cum in your needy little pussy so badly. I can feel it. You want to watch your belly swell with my baby and let everyone know who keeps you so well stuffed.” He whispers in your ear. 

Your eyes roll back in your head as the pressure builds up again within you. Your legs shake and your moans become whimpers as you focus on his throbbing cock inside of you.

“Want to hold your big belly walking down the street letting everyone know Jeon Jeongguk put that baby inside you. That no one gets to have me but you. Fuck!” He curses loudly as his thrusts begin to get sloppy.

“Guk! I’m going to cum!” You whine as you grip his arm harder.

“Good girl, cum on my cock. I’m- Fuck- I’m not going to last.” He cries out as his eyes squeeze shut. 

As you orgasm the second time, he gasps loudly behind you. Letting your throat go, he cups your breasts behind his large hands and squeezes roughly as he begins to cum. You can feel his warm cum painting the walls of your pussy and he whines your name gently as he buries his face into your neck.

With a gentle cry, your orgasm becomes tenfold feeling how warm his cum is inside of you. 

“Oh shit.” He mumbles as he holds you tightly to his chest. 

“Fuck.” You whisper as he presses soft kisses to your heated skin.

You stay like this for a minute before he’s flopping both of your bodies down onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. 

“God, I hope we get pregnant this time.” He whispers and you know he’s praying to God for it to come true.

“I hope so too.” You whisper as your fingers drift over the skin of his arm.

The silence is comfortable for a few minutes and his grip on your tightens as he hugs your body to his.

“Wanna play another round with the boys before we order dinner?” He asks innocently and you begin to smile as you nod.

“If you win again, I’ll fuck more cum into you. Deal?” He asks as he pulls out of you.

His fingers spread your battered pussy lips as he watches your cunt begin to cream with his cum. 

“Deal.” You say with a giggle as he runs his fingers over your womb.

“I think it’s Y/N.” Jeongguk mumbles into the mic before turning his head to you and narrowing his eyes. 

You stay stone faced as you look at him before turning back to the screen, “It’s not me. I did all my tasks. I’m just following people around to make sure they don’t die. I think it’s Taehyung. Red sus.” You say as you lean back against the headboard of the bed cracking your fingers.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as everyone begins to agree with you.

“Red is always sus. Especially when you’re Kim Taehyung.” You hear Jimin say with a laugh.

You begin to smirk as everyone votes Tae, you can hear him protesting and screaming. With a triumphant laugh the victory screen appears and you fold your arms as you quip an eyebrow at your boyfriend.

He grumbles gently before muting his mic. 

“Fine. Spread those pretty legs for me.” He whispers as he leaves the game. 

[bansept]

See Me As I Am

[Part 3]

Hello everyone!

It's such a pleasure to see more people share and like this story! Sometimes I get scared the votes are a bit low, but I know I'm not a known author on here and I just go with it.

I see people were choosing different answers hmm? Diversity is nice, but be careful what you choose...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Past choice: Answer calmly to the neighbor

Processing

Entering next phase

The neighbor stared at him with disgust and animosity, as if all the wrongs in the world, all the poverty and diseases and unemployment and heartbreaks were his doing. Ichigo sympathized with him, in a way. He didn’t know the man, and didn’t really want to, but he could perfectly understand why he would detest androids. Taking a short breath in, he smiled.

“Hello mister. What can I do for you?”

The man seemed surprised at first, and quickly frowned.

“Where’s your owner? I only talk to humans.”

Harsh tone, distrusting eyes, unclear intentions… If Ichigo had a gut feeling, it would tell him to not let Orihime close to the guy. Instead, his mechanical mind pleaded for him to call his owner, as the man requested. He reluctantly looked back at the woman, her form appearing behind the almost closed door of the phantom room. She seemed scared, unwilling to meet the neighbor, eyes widened in a silent prayer for him to go away.

Ichigo felt his LED turn and turn, the yellow bordering on the red. He stopped thinking for a moment; he needed to calm down. Whatever he could choose could harm Orihime, who didn’t deserve that. If he spoke his mind to the man like he wanted to, he’d be considered deviant and taken away, or maybe just sent back to the shop for him to be reinitialized.

“I’m sorry, mister, but Miss Inoue is not available for now. The cold weather was not good for her, and she caught quite a cold.”

The neighbor kept his dark eyebrows furrowed, but seemed less inclined to come in.

“Oh… And can’t you do something? Isn’t that in your program to take care of her?”

Oh, how Ichigo was tempted to tell him he was doing just that before the man knocked, but once again, he maintained a warm expression on his face.

“It is indeed. That is why I should return back to her side. Or maybe you wanted to add something?”

The dark-haired man grumbled something about ‘being nice’, but shook his head and turned away to walk back to his home. Ichigo closed the door, securing it with a lock, wondering what was that even about.

Orihime was still upstairs, silent and unwilling to move, but a smile was on her lips when he looked up at her. She appeared much more at ease now, hands no longer holding onto her sides.

Dixie barked a little, rushing up the stairs to wiggle in front of her owner, which had the intended effect : she chuckled, sitting down on the floor to pet and cuddle the dog, who licked her cheeks with affection. Ichigo slowly made his way to them, eyeing with tenderness the way Orihime let the dog console her. He sat down next to her, knowing, somehow, that he didn’t have to do or say anything. That if Orihime wanted to explain why she was uneasy, she would.

His thoughts went in a whole other direction, one he shouldn’t have, and didn’t mean to : by the door, he had wanted to disobey, to turn his back to the man or insult him back. It was normal to feel that way for a human, because they had emotions. They were born to be imperfect and have feelings. Androids… Couldn’t do that. Because if, one way or another, they disobeyed their owners, they were deviants. Threats. They could injure, sometimes kill humans because of all the turmoil emotions caused them. He couldn’t choose to do something, only had to follow the orders.

He had thought. Felt. Fought the feeling and thought with something else than his brain.

“So… Your body is entirely mechanical, but since it’s made to look identical to humans, you have fake organs and everything?” “Yes. Machinery that looks like organs.”

Everything in him was fake, made up, assembled in specialized warehouses, sold. He wasn’t real.

But he felt. From a place he didn’t know, couldn’t tell, he was feeling. Anger, anguish… Affection.

Orihime petted Dixie’s fur, and the dog rolled on her back, exposing her belly, greedily wanting more.

And in one crazy, unreal, impossible moment, Ichigo told himself that if he had to, he’d be deviant to keep Orihime smiling like that.

-

Orihime didn’t want to go out, even if she had things to do, like grocery shopping or even go meet her friends, and Ichigo understood her. He still had no idea what was happening, but still, days later the almost intrusion, he didn’t ask her. The android looked after her, served her meals and had chit-chat sessions with her, talking about imaginary robots, childhood dreams and anecdotes of the times when Dixie was just a puppy. It was calm, exactly what she needed.

Today, he tackled a problem seen from the very first day : the damaged fence. With the cold air growing damp, the snow approaching, it was best to replace it properly now, rather than wait for the good days to come later. He crouched down, hammer and nails by his feet, and examined the wooden planks. Slightly darker than the rest, but nothing rotten. The old nails had disappeared at the bottom, but the ones at the top were still in place, at about 1m80 in height. That wasn’t normal. If the planks were damaged, rotting or broken, he’d have to replace the top too. But nothing.

Ichigo took the two planks that had fallen away from the others, catching a peek at the unfamous neighbor’s garden.

Something clicked in his mind.

Those planks… They had not fallen out of place. They had been detached from the fence, using some scissors or a clamp. Maybe even a hammer. Orihime wouldn’t do it : with how much love and care she had for her dog and how scared she was of the neighbor, she wouldn’t open her fence for her dog to go through.

No… It was the man who did it.

He was stalking her.

It was impossible to tell for how long or when did he stop, but the reason he came… He came knocking at the door because Ichigo was there. Orihime was no longer alone, and so he couldn’t stare at her anymore without being caught.

Ichigo greeted his teeth together, grasping the hammer and pulling the fence back together. He stood up, reaching for the grid he had taken, in case he couldn’t repair the fence, and knocked it with the small gap that remained. If the creep wanted to ask why, Ichigo would have to say it was to prevent Dixie from running.

The android entered the house again, putting the wet shoes away and placing the coat Orihime had forced him to wear on the nearby coat rack.

“Oh, Ichigo, do you mind coming here for a second?” She called out from upstairs, the bathroom if he was correct.

He tried to plaster a smile on his face on time, managing a small smirk before he entered the foggy room. Orihime was in the bath, bubbles surrounding her, one hand out to touch her back.

“Could you help me, please? I think there’s something stuck on my back, I can’t get it.”

She was pouting, obviously annoyed she couldn’t reach the spot, but was feeling no shame whatsoever in front of Ichigo.

A part of him wondered if she saw him as a man at all, or if he was nothing but a robot.

“Sure.” He answered shortly, picking a stool next to the cabinet to sit by her side. From there, he only had to move his head to see her body, the bubbles less dense. He didn’t, and instead looked at her naked back, his hand hovering over hers, catching the little thorn she had, somehow, got stuck in her back.

“How did it get here… You should be more careful Orihime.” He scolded her gently, his second hand landing on her shoulder.

“Sorry.” She chuckled, at ease with his hands on her. “Maybe it’s the floor. It’s a bit too old, little bits are everywhere. Dixie had one in her paw once. It was terrible.”

“Well, Dixie has reasons to be on the ground. You, however, are still recovering from your cold, so don’t lay on the floor. You’ll catch it again.”

Orihime laughed, bubbles shaking at the same time as her breasts. She turned her face to look at him, a little blush on her face.

“Alright, I’ll stop, Mister.”

He stared at her, in her grey eyes, the ones he studied even when they were closed. The ones who, maybe, saw him as he wanted to be. And once again, something stirred, something felt, inside of him.

[Part 3]

--------------------------------

Choices :

1- Lean in and kiss her, become deviant

2- Move away

[iamtheblondestblonde]

The Clark Kent Effect

Part One

AN: So this is meant to be the beginning of a (semi short) series, depending on how well it’s received. Feedback is therefore more than appreciated and always remember I love reading tags. Feel free to message me or send me anons as well, every interaction makes my day :) 

To all my American followers: please go vote tomorrow, I don’t even live there but I still know how important it is.

Word Count: 2.9k (short boi)

Warnings: alcohol and one swear word maybe? 

Part Two

My other writing can be found here

While your costume had seemed like a great idea two days ago you now thought differently.

Technically it was a great costume, but only because you hadn’t exactly planned on needing to step out of the club to make an angry phone call. Alas here you were, legs shaking and teeth clattering because of your stupidly short dress, this situation the last nail in the coffin that would finally pronounce your disaster with Colin dead for good. You weren’t sad about it in the least, only cold. If only you’d thought of grabbing your jacket on your way outside this wouldn’t be as bad, it was the end of October and you were in New York after all, but you’d been so angry to see his caller ID on your screen that you’d stormed out without thinking, which you now deeply regretted.

Stepping back inside was like heaven and running into a wall at the same time, if said wall was made out of hot air and the smell of sweat, hairspray and alcohol. You really shouldn’t be happy about stuffy air, but at least you weren’t shivering anymore so you were going to mark it down as a success in your books. Since the restrooms were close to your right you made a quick detour, checking if everything was still where it was supposed to be.

At least your boobs hadn’t fallen out yet and you dismissed the judgy stares in the restroom as you readjusted your cleavage and reapplied your bold red lipstick. Normally you’d stare as well, not judging but usually intrigued by women who portrayed such confidence but tonight you were one of these women and you wouldn’t let anyone else ruin it. You’d earned a good night out after finally escaping Colin’s manipulative fuckboy ways and telling him to get lost for good.

So with your chin up and your shoulders straight you stepped out of the restroom, determined to find your group of friends again so you could get drunk and finally have a good time. It took a bit longer than you’d like to admit, your heels only barely giving your tiny frame a height advantage but then you finally spotted the fluffy halo of your best friend. After making sure that it was really her – there were enough angels in this room to make any priest happy after all – you quickly made your way over to her.

Or at least you tried.

You’d only gotten a few steps in when your heel got caught in the costume of a guy dressed up as mummy – which really only consisted of his regular clothes and what you estimated to be about three rolls of toilet paper – and you stumbled. You could already see yourself in the emergency room of the closest hospital with a broken nose from crashing to the ground, blood running down your face and staining your already red dress. Perhaps you could play it off as a part of your costume but it’d still hurt and your night would definitely be over.

But none of that happened because you were saved by a very handsome Superman. He’d stood with his back to you, you’d definitely spotted his broad shoulders underneath the stretched blue fabric earlier, but he’d turned in your direction right before gravity had decided to take its toll on you. Apparently his costume was justified though, because he caught you with cat-like reflexes, wrapping his hands around your arms and pulling you back towards an upright position before anything damaging could happen.

He was a lot taller than you so the first thing you really noticed of him was his throat and perhaps you really should’ve dressed up as a vampire because you noticed that he had a very sexy throat, if that was even a thing. Your weird thoughts were interrupted by him chuckling though and your gaze quickly snapped up to meet his and you really weren’t sure if you should congratulate or scold yourself for how you’d managed to end up in his arms.

The handsome stranger was wearing glasses in true Clark Kent fashion and his hair was better than any DC artist could have dreamed of, perfectly tousled in the way that showed that he liked to run his hands through it and you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t tempted to do the same. In the dim lighting of the club you couldn’t make out the color of his eyes behind his glasses but they could honestly be yellow and he’d still be hot as fuck.

Sometime during your almost-fall your hands had ended up on his chest and you really should be embarrassed about the fact that you were practically feeling him up but somehow you couldn’t find yourself to care enough to let go. You relaxed your hands from the tight grasp they had on his shirt and instead carefully splayed them out on his chest as if you were going to push yourself off of him but not really doing so. With how you were pressed against him you could feel the heat radiating through his shirt and how firm his body was, his muscular built more and more evident with every passing second. His hands had started to wander as well, moving up from the side of your arms towards the top of your shoulders, the size of them burning itself into your mind as you just stared at each other.

If one were to ask you what day it was right this moment, you honestly wouldn’t be able to answer them despite everyone in this club dressed in Halloween costumes. Mozart himself could have returned from the dead to perform “Eine kleine Nachtmusik” with a string quartett in the middle of this dancefloor and you probably wouldn’t have noticed right now, too caught up in the eyes of this handsome stranger.

When he reached up with one of his hands to adjust the little devil’s horns on top of your head you blinked in surprise, finally snapping out of your daze.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry, I totally didn’t mean to crash into you but my heel got caught and-“, you began to ramble, your sense of common decency finally kicking in but he only laughed and since neither of you had taken a step backwards yet you could feel it rumbling through his chest.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind having beautiful girls quite literally falling for me”, he joked and if he were any other guy you probably would’ve scoffed at his choice of words but somehow the boyish charm worked well for him and you found yourself grinning as you came up with a response.

“Mmm let’s hope this isn’t a normal occurrence for you because I’m not a fan of getting caught in traffic.” You finally found the strength to take a, very reluctant, step back, untangling yourself from his grasp and dropping your hands but still smiling up at him. He definitely had the potential to be your catch for the night. You could really use the distraction after all.

Your blissful thoughts were interrupted by someone tugging at your arm though, a look over your shoulder revealing a pouting angel dressed in white and with a bouncing halo. It seemed like Emily had found you instead after you’d gotten distracted by your hero.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over the place for you”, she whined and you could tell by her slurred words that she’d gotten quite the head start while you were outside on your phone as she was well on her way to get plastered. Otherwise she never would’ve interrupted a conversation with a hot guy either, it was an unspoken wingwoman rule after all.      

“Come on, Dana just brought a new round of shots and you need to catch up!” And with that she tightened her grip on your wrist and pulled you away. You barely managed to tell the handsome stranger to come find you later before he disappeared between the writhing bodies and was out of your sight.

Way too many shots later you found yourself on the dance floor, intoxicated and having a great time.

Your thoughts hadn’t wandered to Superman in quite a while, too consumed by alcohol and the thumping beat of the music, until you spotted him leaning against the banister of the top floor, drink in one hand and definitely watching you. Again, this would be creepy if he were anyone else but in this case it only made you appreciate the current sensual song even more, your eyes never leaving his as you moved your body to the beat. You were planning on going home with him later either way, you could tease him a little more before then, show him what he could have if he played his cards right.

He was still watching you a couple of songs later when your throat had gotten dry and your heels were starting to grow uncomfortable. In need of a break you pointed towards the bar, hoping that he’d understand and when he nodded you smiled brightly, excusing yourself from your group of friends so you could grab some water. You were done drinking for tonight, much more exciting things laying ahead of you and you wanted to be sober for them.

Water was apparently a welcome change from the regular orders the bartenders got because you were served immediately, a cool bottle set in front of you seconds later. You checked over your shoulder before taking a sip, spotting your Superman as he made his way towards you with a smile, one you returned before turning back around to climb on the stool that had just freed up so you could give your feet a well-deserved break.

When you felt a tap on your shoulder you fully expected it to be the hot guy, your most dazzling smile instantly on your lips as you turned around but it quickly fell off your face as you realized who it really was.

When you were younger you’d often imagined yourself in this moment, thought of what you’d say when you’d finally see him again after all this time apart. A small part of you had pined after him for years and fantasies of how your eyes would meet from across the room and how everything else would stop mattering had filled your daydreams once upon a time. But as you looked at him now there were no butterflies, no fireworks and you could still hear some remix of “Monster Mash” blaring over the speakers, the world was definitely still turning.

Perhaps you’d built up what had been between the two of you in your mind in the years of his absence, put him on a pedestal – he deserved to be one though because through everything he had been nothing short of a great guy – but as you looked at him you realized that all that was in the past. There was just a warm afterglow of what once was. As you looked at him now, there was absolutely no doubt that you didn’t love Anthony Beauvillier anymore.

“I wasn’t sure if it was really you, but wow Y/N you look great”, his familiar voice met your ears and it took you a second to realize that he’d slipped into French, the way the two of you had done countless times as teenagers.

You probably resembled a fish with the way you were opening and closing your mouth without saying anything but you couldn’t help yourself. Seeing Tito in this club had hit you like a fright train and you hadn’t expected it at all, which only made it worse.

Almost 20 Million people lived in New York State and over 8.3 Million in New York City alone. Brooklyn housed well over 500.000 people as well and yet you still managed to run into your ex in this club, despite the both of you growing up in Québec. If you were any good at math you would calculate the probability of this happening but you’d always sucked at it and it really wouldn’t help your situation either. You reminded yourself that you both worked here now but that was absolutely beside the point.

Before you managed to embarrass yourself even further you shook your head to clear your thoughts, smiling at the guy who had once held your heart before making the break into the NHL. He was dressed as a boy scout, with medals pinned to his shirt, the scarf thingy and everything and the costume was so incredibly him that you immediately felt catapulted back into your teenage years. It was easy to fall back into your old routine then.

“Oh yeah, do you think your Mom would still speak so highly of me if she saw me dressed as a slutty devil?”, you joked and he threw his head back in laughter, taking you even more by surprise when he threw his arms around you in a hug. It was a bit awkward with you sitting on the bar stool and all and it made you realize that he himself didn’t even feel the same anymore, his career of being a professional athlete shaping his body into a much more bulkier version of the one you were used to.

As you looked over his shoulder you caught the gaze of your Superman and your thoughts immediately returned to him. What must he be thinking of you hugging another stranger at the bar after telling him to come see you? The confusion was evident of his face, a crease between his eyebrows giving his thoughts away and you noticed how he scrunched up his nose in a very cute way so you immediately pulled back from Tito, reaching up to adjust your horns as a disguise for your sudden movement.

“So, did you finally manage to make your dreams of living and working in New York City come true?”, he asked as he took a step closer to let someone else pass by and you nodded, amazed that he still remembered after all these years. He really was one of the good guys.

“Yep, I finally made it, although it’s not as glamorous as I thought it would be. But maybe that’s only us working class people, I’m sure it’s a lot different in your line of work.” Thankfully he picked up on your teasing and wasn’t insulted, only laughing even more as he finally had the space to move next to you so he could look at the crowd as well.

“Speaking of work..”, he trailed off as he switched back to English and to your utter disbelief he waved your Superman over. Superman was reluctant to move at first, that much you could tell by looking at him, and since you watched him extra closely you were probably the only one to catch him flinching a little as Tito threw his arm around his shoulders but his confused expression was obvious as he looked between the two of you.

“Y/N, this is my teammate and best friend Mat, I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Mat, this is my ex Y/N. You’ve also heard of her.”

Of course you’d heard of Mathew Barzal, last year’s Calder winner and rising star among the NHL’s elite players but it seemed like you were a victim of the Clark Kent Effect because you hadn’t recognized him at all with the glasses on.

Now your Superman had a name but the only thing you could focus on were the words “best friend”. No matter how hot Mat was and how much you’d wanted him before, very much imagining him helping you out of your tight dress, you couldn’t do that to Tito.

Mat seemed to come to the same realization as you because he plastered what could only be described as a business smile on his face, extending his hand for you to shake. You took it, relishing in the way his warm palm felt against yours and allowing yourself to enjoy his touch one last time before letting go and smiling at him with sad eyes as you introduced yourself.

Tito stayed to order a drink, pulling Mat and you into a conversation and therefore preventing your escape and while that was already bad enough in itself, he unknowingly took your breath away when he asked Mat:

“Hey, did you ever find that hot klutz you told me about? The one that fell into your arms earlier?”

Tito had his back towards the both of you so he didn’t see the way Mat looked down at you with sad eyes as well before pulling himself together and responding:

“Yeah, but turns out she’s not available after all.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur, you’d returned to alcohol after saying goodbye to Tito and Mat and promising Tito to stay in touch, so you barely remembered climbing into an uber hours later and only really came to your senses when you chugged a water bottle in your kitchen.

“Wait, weren’t you planning on going home with that hot Superman you mentioned earlier? What happened to him?”, Emily asked from her spot on the couch, her usual spot after a night out since your apartment was closer.

“I guess he left”, you answered, not really willing to go into any details right now.

“Aw, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

And wasn’t that the truth.