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pin-k-ink · 26 days

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CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR ⋆✦⋆ sakusa kiyoomi

synopsis ➸ you and sakusa have always hated each other, but when atsumu suggests it’s all just sexual tension, it forces you both to rethink everything—and now your arguments take on a whole new meaning

tags ➸ enemies(?) to lovers, making out, masturbation, dry humping, grinding, biting, dirty talking, degradation, hair pulling, implied atsumu x reader, unprotected sex, blowjob, face fucking, deep throating, throat bulge, fingering, orgasm denial, creampie, praise kink, pet names, squirting, manhandling, begging, atsumu is tired of your shit

wc ➸ 12k

"Say it again, Omi-kun. I dare you."

Your voice positively dripped with challenge as you leaned across the dining table, glaring daggers at the smirking figure lounging opposite you. Sakusa Kiyoomi regarded you evenly through those heavy-lidded eyes, handsome features arranged in an expression of haughty nonchalance.

"I said," he drawled slowly, relishing the way your fingernails dug grooves into the wood, "that your pitiful attempt at laundry left everything drenched in bleach. Again."

A muscle in your jaw ticked with barely restrained fury. You opened your mouth to unleash the torrent of vitriol building in your chest when a loud clatter from the kitchen interrupted.

"For fuck's sake, you two!" Atsumu groaned, stomping into view with his hands buried in his hair. "Can't ya give the bickering a rest for just one goddamn hour?"

You and Sakusa both ignored the blond's outburst, locked in an intense staring contest from across the table. The air crackled with unresolved tension, neither of you willing to be the first to back down.

"Well?" Sakusa eventually prompted, lips curving into that maddening little smirk he knew got under your skin. "Gonna try to tell me I'm wrong again?"

That did it. You shoved away from the table, the chair clattering to the floor as you surged to your feet.

"Why you arrogant, condescending prick! Like you'd know the first thing about doing your own laundry!" you spat. "That stick so far up your ass must be why you're constantly—"

The rest of your retort dissolved into wordless sputtering as Sakusa rose to his full, intimidating height as well. He leaned forward, elbows propped on the table as he pinned you with that heavy-lidded stare.

"I'm sorry, did you have a point or were you just enjoying the sound of your own voice again?" He spoke slowly, each word dripping with disdain.

Fire licked beneath your skin and you stepped forward without thinking, fists clenched by your sides. "That's rich coming from Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Constipated over here! At least when I speak, it isn't just to revel in my own ego for once!"

Beside you, Atsumu groaned again and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Not this shit again...am I gonna have to get the hose or something to break you two up?"

Neither you nor Sakusa paid him the slightest mind, too busy sizing each other up in a heated battle of wills. Adrenaline hummed in your veins, face flushed with righteous indignation at Sakusa's unrelenting arrogance. You itched to wipe that stupid smirk off his infuriatingly handsome face.

"Well?" you demanded when he just kept staring at you silently. "Nothing else to say now that you're called out, huh? Typical coward."

Something dangerous flashed in Sakusa's gaze. He took a single step forward, now well within your personal space as you held your ground defiantly.

"Be very careful what you wish for," he murmured in a low tone that sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. "You might just get it."

Your breath hitched at the implicit threat simmering in those words. But before you could formulate a retort, Atsumu hurriedly inserted himself between the two of you. He planted his hands against both your chests, forcibly separating your bodies as he shot looks of sheer exasperation in each direction.

"A'right, that's enough outta the two of ya horny bastards!" he huffed. "I can't take another second of watchin' you two go at it before things get legitimately X-rated in here!"

You blinked dumbly at Atsumu's outburst, barely registering the dismissive scoff from Sakusa behind you. Your roommate pinned you with a pointed look that brooked no argument.

"Omi-kun, you're leavin'. No more tormentin' my roommate tonight." He then swung his severe gaze to you. "And you! Take a cold shower or somethin', yeesh! The sexual frustration is chokin' the whole damn apartment at this point!"

You opened your mouth to retort but Sakusa leveled you with one last burning look before turning on his heel and stalking towards the door. Atsumu gave you both a warning look before following to show him out.

Left alone in the tense silence, it finally started to sink in what exactly your supposedly oblivious roommate had been implying. Surely he couldn't think there was...that you and Sakusa...

As if on cue, a vivid flash of Sakusa leaning over you resurfaced in your mind's eye - all intense gaze and parted lips whispering those cryptic words. The image sent an undeniable thrill skating over your skin like a physical touch.

Across the apartment, the front door slammed shut and Atsumu reappeared, pinching the bridge of his nose again. You glanced between him and the empty space Sakusa had occupied, perturbed realization dawning.

"Oh..." You breathed the word on a soft exhale.

Atsumu snorted indelicately. "Yeah, welcome to my own personal hell, Roomie. Told ya you were both horny idiots."

For once, you found yourself rendered utterly speechless as certain puzzle pieces finally clicked into place with searing clarity. And though the implications should have struck horror into your heart, a tiny, secret part of you couldn't quite quell the spark of salacious interest now burning brighter than before...

You tossed and turned restlessly, sheets tangled around your legs as vivid images from earlier tormented your mind. Every time you closed your eyes, memories of Sakusa's smoldering gaze and the dangerous timbre of his voice resurfaced with alarming intensity.

"Be very careful what you wish for..."

His murmured words echoed in your head, stoking the embers of a treacherous curiosity you'd been ruthlessly suppressing for who knows how long now. Because if you were being truly honest with yourself, the antagonistic spark between you and Sakusa had stopped feeling like genuine animosity ages ago.

No, what fueled those heated exchanges and barbed insults was something else entirely - a slow-burning friction that ignited every nerve ending and left you breathless for reasons beyond just anger and frustration. You squeezed your eyes shut as flashes of Sakusa's powerful build looming over you infiltrated your mind again, heat blossoming low in your belly.

You couldn't deny the undeniable pull of attraction simmering beneath the surface, no matter how often you masked it with irritation or acid-tongued taunts. Deep down, on some primal level, your body craved the delicious friction of Sakusa's presence in a way that had nothing to do with combativeness.

The realization came with a dizzying rush of arousal that left you squirming between the sheets. You tried to dismiss it, chalk it up to a sleep-deprived lapse in judgement after an eventful night. But as the minutes ticked by, visions of Sakusa's chiseled features and unholy smirk persisted in tormenting your senses.

You gave in with a low whine, chasing the forbidden images as your hands wandered across your overheated skin. What would happen if you stopped retreating from the tension between you? What if you finally let yourself lean into those heated exchanges with abandon instead of biting your tongue?

Perhaps Atsumu had been onto something about scratching a certain itch. You shuddered at the thought of finally submitting to the magnetic pull drawing you towards Sakusa, of letting go and allowing instincts to take over instead of fighting tooth and nail against this undeniable chemistry.

Your fingers dipped past the waistband of your shorts, circling your swollen clit with a practiced rhythm as you pictured the man himself. You imagined what Sakusa's hooded gaze would look like if aimed anywhere lower than your face. How his voice might drop into a sinful growl of approval as you gave in fully to your salacious urges right in front of him, consequences be damned...

A twisted moan escaped your lips as you worked yourself higher with each fevered thought. Yes, you realized dimly. You were well and truly addicted to the slow torture of this constant foreplay between you, hooked on that tantalizing friction no matter how much you'd pretended otherwise.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow when Sakusa inevitably showed up and resumed your sensual battle of wills, you decided right then and there that you'd abandon the pretenses entirely. Just to see what would happen when the spark you'd been smothering finally ignited into an all-consuming blaze.

The thought spurred you towards a shuddering orgasm, back arching off the mattress as you rode out the waves of release with Sakusa's name staining your lips in a breathless keen. Only then did you finally relax again, boneless and tingling in the wake of relinquishing your stubborn denials to the oblivion of sweet surrender.

Because win or lose, you realized there was no longer any escaping the pull of this slow-burning inferno you'd both helped fan to roaring life whether you wanted to admit it or not.

The following morning dawned bright and clear as you reluctantly roused yourself from the tangled sheets. An odd sense of anticipatory tension thrummed through your veins while you went about your usual morning routines.

You kept picturing all the various ways you might be able to rile Sakusa up today - subtle touches and low-hanging innuendos he'd never seen coming from you. A sly grin tugged at your lips as you recalled his scathing insults and thinly veiled disgust from last night. How quickly those disdainful expressions would drop the second you disarmed him with a little bold flirtation instead of sputtering recriminations.

Just the thought of his domineering gaze snapping wide while you trailed fingertips over his chest or leaned in to murmur something filthy had your pulse racing. Maybe you'd casually brush up against him, sway your hips enticingly and see how flustered the normally stoic Sakusa grew. Make him finally admit there was more behind his contemptuous facade than—

"Morning, Roomie!" Atsumu's overly chipper voice cut through your heated musings. "Nice of ya to finally join the rest of us today."

You startled slightly, blinking at your roommate as he deposited a plate of toast dripping with butter on the table. He shot you an amused look over his shoulder.

"Whoa, someone kill your favorite puppy on the way over? What's with that 'cat who ate the canary' look first thing?"

Heat flooded your cheeks as you realized where exactly your thoughts had wandered. You shook your head vehemently, refusing to take the bait or acknowledge your brief lapse into an entirely different fantasy.

"Shut it, Blondie. I just had a good night's sleep for once now that the human embodiment of tension headaches wasn't around."

The reminder of Sakusa prompted a flicker of last night's...revelations to niggle at the corner of your mind. You suppressed them ruthlessly, trying to cling to the irritation you'd used as camouflage for so long instead. After all, he'd be arriving at any moment and you needed to be on guard against letting anything slip—

"It'll take much more than your simple attempts at deflection to fool me, [Y/N]," a low, familiar voice drawled in your ear.

You jolted again, whirling around to find Sakusa suddenly looming over you with that infuriatingly smug look plastered across his features. How the hell had he gotten so close without you noticing? More importantly, what exactly did he mean by—?

"Although I must admit," he continued in that same arrogant purr, eyes raking over you lazily. "Judging by those lovesick puppy looks you keep tossing my way, it's clear even you've realized the little game we're playing here now."

A muscle twitched in your jaw and you straightened fully, squaring off against his proximity and heated gaze with defiance even as your heartbeat kicked up a notch.

"Game?" you echoed flatly. "What the hell are you on about now, Omi-kun?"

His nickname dripped with acid as you enunciated each syllable. Rather than react with his usual disdain or irritation, however, Sakusa simply smirked wider and leaned closer until you could practically taste his clean, minty scent with every inhalation.

"You know exactly what I mean," he murmured, all predatory heat and sinful promise as his gaze dipped lower. "This little dance of denial you've got yourself caught up in, trying to convince yourself you aren't hopelessly afflicted with the same inconvenient cravings for me that I've been—"

The rest of his whispered taunts dissolved into a startled grunt as you lunged forward mindlessly. Only vaguely aware of Atsumu's choked curses from behind you, you seized fistfuls of Sakusa's crisp button-down as he instinctively caught your hips to brace you flush against his powerful frame.

"You arrogant prick!" you hissed, glaring up into those hooded onyx eyes roiling with sheer masculine possession now. "What makes you think I'd ever crave—?!"

"Woah! Hey hey hey, break it up assholes! We're not doin' this here!"

Atsumu wedged himself between your bodies, glowering at you both as his hands connected with both your chests to shove you apart with surprising force. All at once, you became aware of just how tightly clenched in Sakusa's unbreakable grasp you'd been mere seconds ago, and a dizzying rush of heat flooded your senses.

"I swear to God, you two are gonna give me gray hair before I'm even 25 at this rate," your roommate groused, pinning Sakusa with an exasperated look. "Sakusa, kindly take a cold shower 'cause my poor roommate can't handle whatever filthy material you're whispering about again."

He then turned and took you by the shoulders, steering you bodily towards the front door even as you sputtered half-formed protests.

"And you!" Atsumu huffed without slowing. "You're goin' for a nice little walk around the block to cool off before you try jumpin' that constipated weirdo's bones or something, capiche?"

He bundled you swiftly out the front door with a none-too-gentle shove. You whirled back to him in outraged confusion, mind still whirling from the sheer hunger in Sakusa's fiery gaze you'd been drowning in just moments ago.

"Wait, what the hell, Tsumu?! I need to teach that arrogant jerk a—"

"Tsk tsk," Atsumu chided, that severe expression melting into one of fond exasperation as he shook his head. "I gotta keep you two horndogs separated until you actually deal with all that pent up tension properly. I ain't dealing' with a screwin' match on my livin' room floor."

You felt your jaw drop at his blunt words and transparent implication. He sighed heavily at the look on your face and placed his hands on his hips.

"Look, not that I don't enjoy watchin' you guys torment each other until one of ya literally jumps the other out of sheer desperation," your roommate continued, "but there's a time and a place for that kinda stuff, ya know?"

He arched one eyebrow at you pointedly and you felt the heat in your cheeks rising once more under his exasperated scrutiny. Of course because no matter how you tried denying the reality of what just happened, or the nights spent fantasizing feverishly, Atsumu could see right through you—

"Like Bokuto's birthday in a couple days?" he supplied, jarring you from your whirling thoughts. "Surely you dolts can keep it in your pants and behave for that, yeah?"

Oh. Right. The event you'd been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to ever since the invites went out. Bokuto's annual raging party guaranteed to be a complete shitshow on top of all the usual chaos of his social gatherings. With you and Sakusa's rising friction now exacerbated by Atsumu openly confronting you...yeah, things were likely to implode.

"Tch, be a little easier if your weird ass friend would stop intentionally trying to goad me into destroying him in public," you shot back defensively.

Atsumu sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly before fixing you with a long look.

"Just...try to chill for a bit, alright? Cool off, think long and hard about whether you want to actually pursue where Omi-kun's leadin' things now. And if you do decide to go there, for the love of God, do NOT spring it on him publicly at Bokkun's—"

The sudden wail of a cell phone cut your roommate off and he grunted, digging into his pocket to scowl at the screen. He shot you one more look before swiping to answer the call.

"Yeah, yeah I'm on my way," he griped, turning to head back inside. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Omi-kun hasn't killed my idiot roommate...yet."

You watched as he slipped back inside, leaving you standing alone on the sidewalk to gather your scattered thoughts. Frustration and residual heat still swirled through your veins, fanned anew by Sakusa's unsubtle taunts and the scorching image of his intense gaze. But underneath it all, Atsumu's knowing words and sly insinuations stoked fresh questions you weren't sure you were ready to examine properly.

Did you really want to give in and embrace this undeniable tension instead of battling it any longer? And if so, what would that mean—especially with the chaos of Bokuto's bash on the horizon?

You groaned and raked your hands through your hair, already dreading whatever fresh hell awaited you with that upcoming powder keg just waiting to explode. Either way, you sensed this little game between you and Sakusa was about to reach a fever pitch you could no longer run or hide from.

The music thumped through the car like a physical force as Atsumu pulled up to the curb outside Bokuto's place. You eyed the clusters of people spilling in and out of the front door apprehensively, the bassline vibrating through the soles of your shoes even from this distance.

"Looks like the party's already in full swing," you remarked, twisting in your seat to shoot Atsumu a sidelong look. "Think Bokkun will even notice when we roll up fashionably late or what?"

Your roommate scoffed and killed the engine, slinging one arm over the back of your seat as he turned to face you properly. His gaze was unusually severe, golden eyes narrowed beneath that swoop of blond bangs.

"Listen up, beautiful," Atsumu began without preamble, leaning closer. "I'm only gonna say this once before we get inside and all hell inevitably breaks loose."

You swallowed thickly despite yourself, feeling heat prickle along the back of your neck under his intense stare. Atsumu rarely took on such a no-nonsense demeanor in casual settings, and his solemnity made your stomach twist anxiously for reasons you couldn't quite place.

"You and Omi-kun have been dancin' around this..." He waved a hand vaguely, "this unresolved thing goin' on for way too damn long now, ya hear? All the flirtin' and teasin' has reached a boilin' point."

Your heart began thudding painfully in your chest as Atsumu pinned you with an inscrutable look. He knew. Of course he knew how badly you'd been craving release from these simmering tensions with Sakusa - especially after last week’s explosive confrontation and subsequent...personal reflections.

"So I need ya to promise me," your roommate continued, voice pitched low and gaze unwavering. "Whatever happens between you two crazy idiots tonight - and ya know as well as I do that somethin' is gonna give - just...try to keep it under wraps around the others, alright?"

Heat flooded your cheeks as indignant protestations bubbled up instinctively. But before you could release the torrent, Atsumu held up a hand to silence you.

"I ain't judgin' or anythin'," he stressed with surprising gentleness. "I just...ya know how batshit Bokuto's parties get. Wouldn't want you two finally lettin' off steam to end in a situation that can't be easily, uh...rectified later."

He arched one eyebrow meaningfully and your mouth snapped shut with a sharp click. Because really, what could you even say to refute his point? Between your rising provocations and Sakusa's indisputably unresolved attraction, there was only so much holding back either of you could sustain before fracturing entirely.

Letting out a heavy exhale, you reached for the door handle and pushed it open. You paused and glanced back at Atsumu over your shoulder, offering a tight nod of acknowledgment.

"Don't worry," you rasped out after a beat of weighted silence. "I'll...try to keep things low-key as possible."

The corner of Atsumu's mouth kicked up in a wry smirk at your careful non-answer. He shook his head wryly but waved you off with a theatrical flourish.

"Good enough for me. Now let's go get shitfaced and hope for the best, yeah?"

You couldn't help but snort at his return to his typical snarky cadence, the anxious knot in your gut loosening fractionally. Sliding from the car, you were immediately swept up in the roar of Bokuto's raging party as whoops and laughter echoed around you.

It was easy to get caught up in the madness at first - bodies pressed close together as you jostled your way inside. Random acquaintances and half-remembered faces called out greetings and raised glasses in drunken salutes as you passed. By the time the writhing knot of people finally parted, you were face-to-face with none other than the man himself.

"[Y/N]-CHAN!" Bokuto bellowed directly into your ear, big arms sweeping you up in a vice-like bear hug. "You made it! I was beginning to think you got lost on the way!"

A startled laugh bubbled up as you fiercely returned the embrace, familiar affection swelling at Bokuto's typical enthusiasm. Before you knew it, he was dragging you further into the melee with an iron grip around your shoulders as he called greetings to every acquaintance in range.

Familiar faces and conversations swirled around you in a headier rush than even the drinks being pressed into your hands could account for. You laughed and joked and danced, losing yourself in each friend's anecdotes or salacious gossip offered up for entertainment.

But no matter how raucous the music grew or how many distractions presented themselves, a tiny sliver of hyper-awareness lingered in the back of your mind - always tracking the nearby crush of bodies for a particular head of artfully mussed curls and a towering, brooding presence that could command any room with scant effort.

You knew Sakusa was here somewhere, likely tucked away in a quieter corner with Atsumu and the other teammates they still tolderated regularly. And though you continually told yourself to relax and simply enjoy the party without complications tonight, that same insatiable itch that tormented you constantly in his presence prickled stronger with every passing minute he went unseen.

It didn't help that flashes of last night's lurid imaginings and lingering heat kept resurfacing unbidden behind your eyes. Your wandering gaze sought Sakusa out almost instinctively, half dreading and half yearning to feel that heavy stare sear over your skin from across the room soon.

So attuned were you to this frenzied frequency, that when a familiar lithe figure finally broke through the human current nearby, you keyed in on his presence immediately. You froze mid-laugh, mouth parting around a startled exhale as your eyes drank in the sight with ravenous hunger.

There he was, striding through the crowds with his usual self-assured grace. A fresh cocktail dangled from his fingers with leonine disregard, eyes hooded and lips twisted in that same arrogant curl that always made your insides flutter deliciously.

Without conscious thought, you found yourself breaking away from your drunken companions and weaving a path right towards him through the masses. Sakusa's gaze, keen as ever even in chaos, snagged on yours instantly - twin sparks of heat and challenge igniting in their depths as your locked stares collided.

Some magnetic, unstoppable force drew you both together like filings to a lodestone. You didn't even realize how rapidly you'd closed the distance until Sakusa loomed directly over you, an immovable mountain of dark intensity radiating dizzying auras of poise and primal power.

"Well, if it isn't the neighborhood pest come to harass me yet again," he drawled in that razor-edged purr still tinged with amusement. "Color me surprised."

You stared up at him defiantly, chin tilted and jaw set even as your heart ratcheted higher in tempo. He was doing it again - pushing and needling like always with those arrogant words that got your blood boiling every single time.

"If by harass you mean have the good fortune of running into your pretentious ass at a party, then guilty as charged," you shot back, tone dripping with acid. "But don't give yourself too much credit, Omi-kun."

Rather than look affronted or irritated, however, Sakusa's eyes simply danced with dark mirth. He cocked one hip and lifted his glass in a sarcastic toast, leaning just close enough for his cologne to tickle your senses with sudden intensity.

"My, my. Such sharp wit as always, pet," he practically purred. "Although if memory serves, you were the one utterly tongue-tied and fawning over me this time last week."

Heat flooded your cheeks as vivid recollections of your late-night reverie starring Sakusa threatened to unhinge you completely. He knew. Of course he knew exactly what he was doing, pushing you until you snapped again like that morning.

Before you could collect the necessary vitriol to spit back, however, a drunken partygoer collided with your elbow from behind in their haphazard dancing. You startled and stumbled forward, the precarious contents of Sakusa's glass directly in your trajectory as you flailed.

It seemed to happen in slow motion - your forehead connecting with his chest in a blunt collision, his tumbler upending with a splash of amber liquid that sprayed across his crisp button-down in rivulets. You froze in open-mouthed shock as the soaked fabric clung revealingly to Sakusa's sculpted form, droplets slowly trailing beneath the waistband of his pants as the heady tang of spirits cut through the crowd's musk.

"W-Woah," you stammered instinctively, coming back to yourself in a sloppy rush. "Omi-kun, shit I'm so sorr—"

"So what else is new?" he cut you off with a sneer of clear disdain, raking a dismissive glance over the mess you'd caused before his inscrutable gaze snapped to you once more. "I swear it's like you were born without functioning motor skills or brain cells sometimes."

Your jaw clicked shut with an audible snap, renewed heat flooding your face that had nothing to do with earlier embarrassment. No, Sakusa had ignited the familiar, smoldering embers of belligerent fury you always felt in his presence with those contemptuous barbs.

Before Atsumu's stern words of warning could even register in your whirling thoughts, your lips curled in an acid simper as you tipped your chin up further to meet the onyx storm roiling in Sakusa's heavy-lidded eyes.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Omi-kun," you growled in a biting coo meant to get directly under his skin. "I'll make sure to replace your precious drink immediately since I know you need it to wash down that enormous stick shoved up your—"

"Woah hey!" Atsumu's panicked voice cut through the music abruptly, hand clamping around your elbow in an iron grip as he wedged himself between your snarling forms. "Easy there, kiddos. I think we could all use a refresher, yeah?"

He leveled you both with the same imploring, strained expression that just begged you to back down before things escalated any further. On your other side, Sakusa's free hand clenched into a white-knuckled fist as you glowered at each other over Atsumu's shoulder in a heated stand-off.

This wasn't over, your screaming instincts howled even as your roommate inserted himself as a buffer once more. Not by a long shot. Not when you tasted rapturous victory over Sakusa's insolent slights so close you could practically inhale it already.

Without warning, you plastered on a tight, saccharine smile and stepped back from Sakusa's bristling frame - offering an exaggerated shrug for Atsumu's benefit.

"You know what? You're absolutely right, Tsum-Tsum," you cooed without breaking eye contact with Sakusa's intense glare still boring into you. "We could all use a fresh round right about now. One sec and I'll get my friend Omi-kun's sorted out pronto!"

You winked at Sakusa then, all bared teeth and challenge as you pivoted on your heel towards the makeshift bar stations. This had stopped being about keeping things under wraps or sticking to protocols long ago. Because after that last scorching slight to your pride?

Sakusa Kiyoomi had once again set the bar for mutual destruction in motion entirely. And you had absolutely no qualms about leaning into each gloriously unholy crest and fall anymore - all under his smoldering scrutiny and gleeful provocation at long last.

The bartender passed your order across the sticky countertop and you snatched it up before whirling on your heel to head back towards the writhing dance floor. A triumphant grin split your features as you surveyed the crowds for that artfully tousled mane of dark curls, mind already whirring with plans for payback.

Sure, leaving Sakusa stewing in his own self-righteous agitation was immensely satisfying on a petty level. But where was the fun in simply walking away after he'd goaded you with those scorching taunts of his yet again? Especially when you already knew exactly which buttons to mash to send the usually stoic spiker into a spiral of indignant fury.

By the time you located his towering silhouette still flanking Atsumu in a quieter corner, the twisted smirk was plastered across your face - brimming with perverse delight at the prospect of sparking whatever delicious meltdown awaited. You wasted no time slipping through the press of partygoers until you stood directly before his chiseled form once more, drink outstretched with an air of saccharine innocence.

"There you are, Omi-kun!" You called sweetly over the pulsing music, watching those hawkish eyes zone in on you with a mixture of wariness and brooding intensity. "I went ahead and got you a new cocktail since you seemed so devastated over losing the last one."

"Tch...like I need favors from a clumsy, ill-mannered cretin such as yourself," he growled out flatly. But despite his venomous tone, Sakusa's gaze tracked the tumbler with poorly concealed interest betraying his parched thirst.

You pouted exaggeratedly, swaying your hips in a movement you knew would draw his lecherous study whether he admitted it or not. Sure enough, his dark eyes sharpened infinitesimally before flicking back up to meet your taunting smirk.

"Aww don't be like that now!" You scolded in a rich coo brimming with challenge. "It's a peace offering from me to you, Omi-kun. I even put a little...extra somethin' in there special!"

Sakusa's brow furrowed at the clear invitation behind your words, lips parting as he drew a sharp inhalation. Atsumu was wise enough to extricate himself from the brewing confrontation and move to join a cluster of rowdy teammates, leaving you and Sakusa alone at last.

"The hell are you blatherin' about now, pest?" Sakusa rasped at length, eyeing the proffered drink with unconcealed suspicion and a hint of intrigue. "Did you spit in it or something to try continuing your vile routine?"

Rather than deflate or offer denials, however, you felt a fresh thrill careen down your spine at the unspoken challenge hanging between your bodies. Yes, of course he'd deduced what fresh torment awaited behind the gesture - he knew you far too intimately by now for it to go unnoticed.

"Well," you began in a sultry murmur, tongue darting out to wet your lips theatrically. "Why don't you take a nice, big sip and find out for yourself, Omi-Omi? I was simply trying to be...considerate for once."

You stepped closer, breaching his personal space until the weight of your shared heat charged the scant distance into an electrified field. Sakusa eyed you for a long, tense heartbeat through lowered lashes stained in blatant consideration. Then, with agonizing leisure, he plucked the glass from your fingertips and swiped his tongue over the rim in a filthy glide - never once dropping your stare.

Your breath stalled out completely at the brazen gesture, heat blooming low in your abdomen at the sinful promise laced through every unhurried motion. Sakusa tipped the glass back and drained the liquor in two deep pulls, throat undulating with each swallow as you keened silently from between parted lips.

Only when the final drops vanished past his swollen mouth did he finally lower the empty tumbler and inhale a shuddering breath. And rather than erupting into disgusted fury like you'd expected, Sakusa remained unnervingly composed - eyes half-mast but gleaming with something darker and more ravenous than mere irritation as he regarded you.

"Well?" You managed to rasp out after several charged beats. "I'm sure it tastes exactly how you expected, doesn't it?"

Sakusa remained perfectly still, coiled and predatory as those piercing eyes drank in every subtle shift and hitch of your chest in rising anticipation. Despite all your childish antics and provocations leading to this point, some instinctive part of you found yourself inexplicably pinned by his unwavering intensity.

Then, before you could summon up another petulant rejoinder, Sakusa surged forward with the speed of a coiled serpent - powerful hands snarling in the fabric of your dress until you were hauled flush against his unyielding frame. The breath punched from your lungs in a ragged gasp, body igniting in a conflagration that seared straight through to your tingling extremities.

"You twisted little gremlin," he growled out low and wrecked in a way that made your knees liquify. "Did you honestly think poking this particular bear was wise when you've been skating on such thin ice with me already?"

You opened your mouth to fire off another heated retort, determined not to let Sakusa gain any more ground with that smoldering stare alone. But before the words could rip free, he tugged you forward with bruising force - chest colliding against yours as your startled gasp muffled against the searing brand of his mouth crashing over yours hungrily.

Despite the rough handling, you found yourself melting against Sakusa's unforgiving frame as his tongue lashed past your lips in a scorching glide. An embarrassing whine punched from your throat at the first velvet sweep claiming you fully without preamble. Any lingering pretense of calm detachment shattered as your hands shakily fisted in the front of his ruined dress shirt.

Rather than shrink beneath his ravenous onslaught, however, you instinctively pushed back - all teeth and nails as you savagely nipped at Sakusa's pillowed mouth in furious retaliation. He growled in clear approval, hips canting to grind his swelling arousal against your pelvis in a blistering promise of consequences to come for your impetuousness.

"Always. So. Damned. Difficult," Sakusa bit out in a wrecked rasp against your slick lips between each punishing reclamation of your mouth, large hands bracketing your shoulders to keep you pinned in place.

You keened breathlessly at the rough vitriol still laced through his gravelly timbre, nails scoring down the sculpted ridges of his back in open challenge. Sakusa shuddered against your provocation, enormous palms dropping to seize twin handfuls of your ass and haul you flush against his writhing form with a harsh groan.

"R-Rich coming from you, bastard," you managed to gasp out before his mouth was on yours again in merciless possession, tongue sweeping between your parted lips on a searing glide.

Coherent thoughts became an impossibility as the two of you grappled for dominance through the molten exchange - all snarling clashes of teeth and desperate whimpers punctuating each greedy inhale for more. Desire throbbed through your veins in concussive waves, rapidly whiting out every fleeting impulse beyond surrendering into the delirious rapture of Sakusa's lithe power sheathed over your quivering curves.

You bucked against the rigid plane of his abdomen shamelessly, palms cupping the sharp cut of his jaw with feverish ardor to keep his mouth sealed over yours without pause. Sakusa growled low in the back of his throat, the rumbling vibration cascading across your melding nerve endings in further waves of unbridled longing. You writhed against him, already dampening through the lacy barrier of your panties with the scorching promise of how relentlessly he would claim you fully when the time came.

Despite your best efforts to give as good as you got, it rapidly became clear Sakusa remained undaunted - subjugating your thrashing form against his with single-minded intensity. Before you realized what was happening, deft fingers were already trailing beneath the hem of your dress, gliding up the slick skin of your inner thigh—

"Oi! What the absolute fuck is going on over here?!"

The bewildered shout lanced through the haze of your heated tussle with Sakusa, his tongue still tangled with yours in a filthy glide. You startled apart at the familiar rasp of Atsumu's voice cutting through the thrum of music and chatter.

"Seriously, you horny bastards?" Your roommate's tone dripped with a mixture of exasperation and dark amusement as he folded his arms, surveying your rumpled states. "Couldn't keep it in your pants for one goddamn night, huh?"

"Piss off, Miya," Sakusa growled, glaring at Atsumu through hooded lids still glazed with naked hunger. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips possessively as you panted against his rigid frame.

Rather than looking remotely contrite, Atsumu simply arched one brow higher. "Don't give me that look, Omi-kun. The last thing we need tonight is Bokkun catching you two in the middle of..." He waved a hand vaguely at your entangled bodies, lips twisting wryly. "...whatever the fuck twisted shit this was inevitably spiraling into."

"And why the hell would Bokuto have any say over what I choose to do?" Sakusa practically purred, the low rasp making you shiver against him instinctively. "Unless you're implying we require supervision now like misbehaving children, Miya?"

Atsumu's eyes glinted with a flash of something harder for a beat. "Cut the attitude, asshole. You know damn well I'm just tryin' to keep your dumb ass out of hot water here." His pointed stare flickered over to you briefly, naked concern warring with exasperation in his expression. "Both of you."

You bit your lip, flushing slightly at the undeniable truth in his words. For all his bravado, Sakusa would hardly thank you for being the catalyst to potential fallout with Bokuto. Especially not over something as stupidly petty as whatever messed up courtship ritual had been unfolding between you until Atsumu intervened.

"He has a point," you rasped out at last. Sakusa cut you a sidelong glare, clearly put out by your backing down even fractionally. You met his heavy-lidded stare steadily, lifting your chin in silent challenge. "We could just...go somewhere more private instead?"

The air fairly sizzled with charged tension as your suggestion hung between your tangled bodies. Atsumu looked vaguely nauseous by the implication, shaking his head slowly as if to dislodge the mental images no doubt flooding his brain. Sakusa, on the other hand, simply stared down at you hungrily - chin dipping in an infinitesimal nod that made your belly swoop.

"A sensible suggestion for once," he murmured, blatantly ignoring Atsumu's derisive snort beside you. "I'm sure there are plenty of places we could...relocate to and get better acquainted, hmm?"

Without warning, he looped one arm around your waist and hauled you flush against his chiseled torso - the other hand coming up to cup the back of your head as he dipped towards your parted lips with dark intent. You inhaled sharply at his bold manhandling, arousal spiking as his tongue swept inside to taste you with possessive fervor. Your palms came up to brace against the firm plains of his chest on instinct, nails raking across the muscled expanse in retaliation.

"Woah-! Easy there, big guy," Atsumu cut in dryly, though his reproach sounded distinctly lacking in any real heat. "You're gonna scar me for life with the visual of you sucking face with Roomie here."

"Mmm...jealous, Miya?" Sakusa rumbled against your swollen mouth, drawing back just enough for the words to rasp across your sensitized lips. "Should I have [Y/N] bend over the nearest flat surface to help you work through whatever repressed issues you're still wrestling with?"

You flushed hotly at his lascivious suggestion, torn between scandalised outrage and a fresh wave of reckless arousal pooling in your core at the mental images his words conjured. Atsumu, however, looked utterly unmoved by the jibe - simply rolling his eyes at his teammate with exaggerated weariness.

"Uh, no thanks," he shot back, emphasising the refusal with a sarcastic pat to Sakusa's shoulder. "I'll sit this particular freak show out. Just do me and the rest of us poor, innocent bystanders a favour - use protection so we don't gotta deal with little Omi juniors runnin' around terrorising the rest of us in nine months, yeah?"

Sakusa regarded him in stony silence for a beat as you gaped between them, flabbergasted by the crude exchange. Then, without ceremony, he bent and hoisted you clean off your feet into his arms as he straightened. You squeaked in surprise, instinctively looping your arms around the broad span of his shoulders as he adjusted his grip beneath the curve of your ass.

"Hey!" You protested as he began striding away purposefully through the throngs of bodies, your thighs bracketing his narrow hips with dizzying intimacy. "What are you doing, asshole?! Put me down already!"

"Quiet, pest," Sakusa growled down at you without breaking stride, his baritone laced with dark promise that made you shiver. "Unless you'd prefer to put on another show for our dear teammate to get his kicks from?"

You snapped your mouth shut, leveling him with a defiant glare he simply returned with an arrogant smirk - entirely unrepentant in your damsel-in-distress position cradled against his granite frame. He turned to toss a parting shot over his shoulder at Atsumu, tone almost idle despite the tension radiating off him in sizzling waves.

"Oh and Miya? Do keep those wise words of caution in mind when you're inevitably imagining the different 'uses' I'm about to put your little Roomie through in the very near future..."

Before Atsumu could formulate a response, Sakusa had already spirited you away into a secluded room away from the raucous main party. The moment you were out of view, he promptly locked the door, hiked you higher and pinned you back against the wall - weight settling snugly between your parted thighs as your harsh pants mingled between your fevered frames.

Any pretense of deference imploded as his mouth crashed over yours in a filthy reunion, tongue lashing inside to taste you thoroughly with muffled groans of relief resonating from his chest. You clung to him helplessly as the uncompromising waltz of his hips undulated into yours over and over - determined to claim and conquer until not a single inch of territory remained for denial between your writhing forms.

"K-Kiyoomi..." you whimpered against his pillowed mouth when he finally drew back enough to catch your breath. To your mortification the sound emerged high and needy, lashes fluttering with naked want you couldn't quite smother even if you'd wanted to.

Far from sounding smug or victorious, however, Sakusa merely raked you with a weighty stare hot enough to sear you straight through to your very marrow. "No more posturing or pretending or fighting it, [Y/N]," he rasped in that sandpaper growl, flexing his hips in an unhurried grind that had your head thumping back against the plaster. "The dam's been breached past the point of no return now, don't you see?"

You swallowed thickly at the heated vow glittering in those depthless obsidian depths, insides liquefying beneath his potent stare alone. In that suspended heartbeat everything crystallized with blinding certainty—that you were both scrambling at the precipice of no return, with any attempts at clawing your way back into the comfortable ambiguities of before inevitably doomed to collapse in failure.

Sakusa braced his forearm alongside your head, face dipping to sear your parted lips with a fresh clash of bruising possession as you melted against him helplessly. One indomitable palm slid beneath your dress to rake searing lines across your inner thigh with unapologetic worship, rasping a promise of much greater indecencies yet to come against your fevered skin.

"No more taunts or masks or holding back," he growled as your kisses spiraled into delirious re-initiation once more. "Tonight I make you fucking mine at last, pet..."

Sakusa disregarded you abruptly, mouth crashing over yours in a filthy kiss that tasted of possession and dark promises. His tongue lashed inside with unapologetic fervor, stoking the scorching embers of lust already lapping at your senses.

You clung to his powerful frame helplessly, whimpering into the sinful waltz of his mouth claiming you thoroughly. Sakusa's hips surged forward in a calculated grind, pinning you flush against the wall as every nerve ending in your body sang with naked yearning.

"Fuck...Kiyoomi," you managed to gasp out when he finally allowed you a desperate inhale, fingers tangling in the soft curls at his nape demandingly. Far from sounding meek or cowed, your tone dripped with pure challenge - stoking the simmering flames higher. "What are you waiting for?"

His lips curved into a predatory smirk against yours, eyes glittering with roguish heat. You panted together in hazy intimacy as Sakusa leaned in until your noses brushed with blistering promise.

"Always so impatient and insatiable, aren't you pet?" He rumbled, sending shockwaves of depraved lust ricocheting through your very marrow. "Miya gave you that wise little warning about wrapping my cock up nice and tight before letting me go to town on that greedy little cunt of yours..."

His hand shot out to fist in your hair, yanking your head back to bare the stuttering pulse at your throat to his searing scrutiny. You whimpered high and needy at the rough handling, arousal spiking as he dropped open-mouthed kisses along the fevered column.

"But you want me buried in that tight, dripping heat raw and throbbing, don't you?" Sakusa growled against your racing pulse, tongue laving over the tender hollow between your collarbones. "Want to feel every brutal inch stretching you open on my cock with nothing between us, don't you slut?"

"You arrogant prick," you bit out through gritted teeth, nails raking over his shoulders furiously despite the fresh gush of slick tingeing your underwear at his crude words. "Don't act so high and mighty like it isn't exactly what you're desperate to feel too, asshole!"

He groaned in clear approval, licking a searing path up the line of your throat to capture your mouth again in a bruising clash. You gave as good as you got, all teeth and venom - furious lust spiraling ever higher.

When Sakusa finally broke away, you were both panting harshly. He leaned his forehead against yours with a snarl, flexing those powerful hips in a slow grind that had you seeing stars.

"That's right, baby girl..." he rasped with dark satisfaction. "Keep running that pretty little mouth while you still can. Because once my cock is hilted so deep inside you that you're choking on it, the only sounds coming out will be pathetic little whimpers begging me not to stop ruining you."

You keened at the promise blazing in his gaze, hips bucking shamelessly against his rigid bulge. But you refused to be cowed, dragging your nails down his chest with enough force to sting deliciously.

"You're all talk, asshole," you spat with naked defiance, upper lip curling. "We both know you're too jealous of Tsumu and me to really commit to fucking me properly anyway."

Sakusa stilled instantly, a dangerous calm settling over his frame in warning. You smirked up at him triumphantly until his jaw flexed and he dipped to graze your lips with his own in a deceptively tender brush.

"Baby, that poor excuse for a line wasn't even worth a half-assed attempt at riling me up," he murmured with an intimacy that clashed with the simmering venom in his tone. "We both know there's not a single part of Miya that's ever piqued my jealousy or interest at all."

You opened your mouth to retort but Sakusa abruptly rocked his hips forward, grinding his scorching hardness against your molten core with punishing friction. Your protest dissolved into a broken moan, head thumping back against the wall.

"No...the only thoughts keeping me green with envy?" Sakusa husked directly in your ear, undulating in a tantalizing rhythm as one hand slipped under your dress to palm your dripping heat. "Are how many chances Miya's had over the years to bury his face between those pretty thighs and drink you down until you're ruined...opportunites I've only dreamed of indulging in."

Your breath hitched as he dragged his palm up to thumb over the slick lace covering your pulsing clit teasingly. Arousal crashed over you in sweltering waves, clawing and slick at the crude reminder of just how excruciatingly long Sakusa must have burned with repressed lust for you both.

"So believe me, sweetheart..." he growled softly, sealing his mouth over yours again to plunder you thoroughly with dark intent. "Once that needy little cunt is finally wrapped around my cock with nothing holding us back?"

Sakusa thrust his tongue into the velvet cavern of your mouth until you were delirious, pliant putty in his unforgiving embrace. Nipping at your lips for emphasis, he sealed the wicked promise with a lick of searing venom:

"The last fucking thing on my mind will be caring about where Miya's thoughts happen to wander during the main event..."

One hand buried itself in his inky curls, tugging sharply until his hooded eyes locked onto yours with a fresh spark of challenge smoldering in their depths. Rather than rise to your predictable goad, however, Sakusa's mouth curved into a sinful smirk that had your belly clenching with anticipation.

"My twisted little minx," he husked against the fevered hollow of your throat, stubble deliciously abrading your sensitized skin. "I fucking live to watch you crumble apart beneath my attentions over and over until that bravado bleeds away completely..."

He punctuated the filthy vow by grinding the insistent ridge of his cock against your cotton-clad heat in a blistering grind of friction that had you writhing for more. You threw back your head with a high, plaintive whine as your thighs instinctively cradled him closer—already molten and aching to be split apart on his thick length without further preamble.

"Oh? Is that slimy bravado I'm still detecting woven through your bluster too, Omi-omi?" You managed to pant out in a breathless coo once you'd regained a sliver of coherence. "Don't tell me the great Sakusa Kiyoomi is still clinging to the last pathetic shreds of feigned indifference over my pussy?"

At that, Sakusa let out a low, resonant growl from deep in his chest - a thrilling vibration that lanced straight to your neglected pussy with relentless intensity. Before you could so much as process what was happening, he had hoisted your other thigh over his narrow hip to bracket his waist completely, the scorching brand of his dick cradled snugly against your drenched heat through twin barriers of flimsy fabric.

"I'll give our mouthy friends a reason to keep their judgmental warnings about 'precautions' to themselves," Sakusa snarled with hot finality against the fragile curve of your jawline. His teeth found purchase along the sensitive span of tendon in an unhurried graze, forcing your head back as he rolled his hips in a tight grind that had you whimpering unabashedly. "Because make no mistake [Y/N]...the only thing I plan on claiming with total, reckless fucking abandon is that soaked little pussy gripping me so sweetly right now."

You keened shamelessly at the sheer, uncompromising lust dripping from each gravelly syllable - utterly unmanned beneath Sakusa's merciless onslaught of words and tongued promises against your electrified form.

"And once I'm buried inside you at last?" he continued in a hoarse snarl, punctuating the rhetorical question with a shallow thrust that dragged his scorching length against your neglected pearl deliriously. "I'm going to ruin you over and over until the entire damned party can hear just who you truly belong to loud and clear..."

Despite the dominant cadence flowing through every word like a malediction, you detected the faint fractures subtly wavering beneath Sakusa's arrogant mask of lascivious control. Little hitches in his breath and slight tremors rippling along his flexing frame as he seemed to surrender more mental footholds to the smoldering conflagration consuming you both inch by searing inch.

Perhaps Atsumu had sown enough seeds of doubt to prick at even Sakusa's unwavering certainty in whatever forbidden desires were now scorching unchecked between your entangled forms after all. A fragile tendril of awareness that you weren't the only simmering powder keg primed for rapturous detonation within this incendiary rendezvous at last...

You curled one hand around the nape of Sakusa's neck, delighting in the way his throat bobbed convulsively at the intimate caress even as his hooded stare tracked your every breath with ravenous captivation. Slowly, you feathered the other palm across the ridged vee of his abdomen - savoring the way each corded muscle spasmed beneath your teasing caress until your fingertips grazed the hard swell of his arousal straining obscenely against those sweat-dampened sweats.

"Mmm...bold words from someone so clearly struggling to keep their composure already," you murmured in a smoky taunt, tracing reverent lines around the swollen heat radiating off his turgid arousal. Sakusa's jaw twitched noticeably, hips rocking into your tormenting touch in minuscule thrusts he clearly couldn't stop himself from chasing despite the flinty mask attempting to remain impassive. "What's wrong, Omi-kun? Can't stand the thought of me calling your bluff and making good on that promise right here and now?"

He sucked in a sharp hiss when you palmed his erection boldly, thumb brushing the wet spot darkening the grey fabric. The muscles in his thighs visibly flexed, as though straining to resist the impulse to buck into your grasp with animalistic urgency.

"Fuck," Sakusa hissed through clenched teeth, hips canting into your ministrations without his volition. You could see the internal war raging within him as his pupils dilated further, nostrils flaring as he struggled to smother the urge to surrender to the depraved fantasies he'd clearly harbored for far too long.

But the moment Sakusa's dark stare flicked up to yours with renewed determination, you knew his ironclad willpower had won out. He surged forward to crush his mouth to yours, devouring your gasps of protest as his fingers found your swollen pearl through the slick lace of your underwear.

"Oh, my greedy little brat..." he purred, breaking away with a satisfied smirk at your whimper. Sakusa's fingers curled possessively into the elastic of your underwear, tugging them aside to brush his bare fingertips through your soaked folds. You jolted against him with a choked moan, hips stuttering against the teasing caress. "The only reason we're not fucking in that bed over there right this instant is because I'm going to take my sweet time breaking you down completely..."

Sakusa pressed the pad of his middle finger against your entrance, the faintest pressure that had you whining in frustration. He smirked at the obvious hunger flushing your face and chest, clearly enjoying the way your neediness spurred him on.

"Because I want you absolutely dripping by the time I slide that pretty little cock inside you..." he husked, nudging forward incrementally as his fingers curled around the hem of your dress. You trembled with need as his palms dragged up the backs of your thighs, thumbs digging into the tender crease where your legs joined your pelvis as he hiked the skirt up and bunched it at your hips.

"I want to see your mascara run down those flushed cheeks while I ruin you," Sakusa continued with a dark growl, fingers finding your clit to roll in tight circles that had you panting openly. You squirmed against him, unable to bite back the wanton moans rising in your throat as your head thumped against the wall. "I want your hair in tangles and your lips swollen and puffy, and for every inch of that perfect skin to be covered in bruises and my cum..."

He punctuated his filthy declaration with a sudden thrust, burying two fingers knuckle-deep inside you without warning.

"FUCK, Omi," you sobbed, thighs clenching around his narrow hips as he curled the digits inside you. The rough stretch was almost too much, your walls already fluttering helplessly around his intrusion. "Kiyoomi, please—"

"Such a dirty little mouth," he murmured in a voice laced with gravel, tongue swiping over his lips as though eager to sample the profanities spilling forth from yours. "Let's see how it fares once I've got you on your knees and my cock down your throat."

Your mouth fell open in a silent scream when Sakusa suddenly began pumping his fingers with slow, measured pumps. He smirked at your incoherence, the pad of his thumb grinding against your neglected clit mercilessly as the thick intrusion of his fingers speared deeper into your sopping channel.

"God, the way your greedy cunt is swallowing me up, pet..." he groaned, eyes fluttering closed briefly. Your walls contracted at the broken moan that ripped from his lips, a surge of wetness gushing down his fingers. "So fucking tight and wet for me, baby girl. Do you think anyone has ever filled you up as well as I do? Does Tsumu get this sloppy mess creaming around his cock?"

The lewd taunt should have enraged you - but all you could do was whimper at the raw, unfiltered need dripping from Sakusa's words as his pace quickened. Every filthy syllable had your pussy throbbing, aching to be filled until the burn eased.

"Fuck," he hissed, gaze raking over the way his fingers were disappearing between your trembling thighs with feverish hunger. "You're so wet and warm, sweetheart...just begging to be used. So why don't we give those greedy little holes what they really want?"

He punctuated his demand with a punishing thrust, crooking his fingers against the bundle of nerves that had you crying out. You clenched around his digits, a rush of wetness soaking your thighs and dripping down his knuckles as you neared the edge.

"You're so close, aren't you, darling?" Sakusa murmured, leaning forward to ghost his mouth over yours. He licked a searing path from your chin to the soft shell of your ear, sucking the delicate lobe into the hot cavern of his mouth.

"Yes," you moaned, fingers fisting in the damp fabric stretched across his shoulders. Sakusa growled at the sharp bite of pain, his tongue tracing the edge of your ear in a featherlight caress that had you shivering.

"Good," he purred, abruptly withdrawing his fingers from your clenching cunt. You cried out at the loss, tears prickling the corners of your eyes as you glared at him accusingly.

"Kiyoomi, if you don't finish what you started—"

"Shut up," he snapped, cutting you off mid-threat. Before you could so much as draw breath, Sakusa had hoisted you over his shoulder and was stalking towards the bed with purpose.

You yelped as he flung you down onto the mattress with little care, your head hanging off the edge of the mattress. But Sakusa didn't give you so much as a second to regain your bearings before he had dropped his sweats, letting them pool at his ankles before stepping closer.

You stared up at him with wide, hungry eyes, drinking in the sight of his thick, rigid shaft jutting proudly from a nest of neatly trimmed curls. You had no time to register anything else about the delectable specimen hovering mere inches from your face, however, before he was sliding a hand around his length and dragging the dripping tip along your cheekbone.

"Now..." Sakusa began in a dark, velvety murmur. You swallowed hard, trying and failing to ignore the way his cock jumped as your breath ghosted across the sensitive flesh. "Open wide, brat. Show me that your filthy mouth is good for something other than backtalk."

You opened your mouth to let a witty retort fly, but your eyes widened when Sakusa seized the opportunity to drive his hips forward, feeding the thick head past your parted lips with a hoarse grunt. You gagged slightly, hands flying to his thighs only for him to catch your wrists and pin them to the mattress on either side of your head.

"Hands off, slut," he commanded, rolling his hips shallowly. Your jaw went slack at the salty, tangy flavor of his arousal, a fresh wave of moisture gushing between your thighs. "Just lie there and look pretty while I use your throat, yeah?..."

You groaned low in your chest, a fresh rush of slick dripping from your folds at the filthy praise. Sakusa's grip tightened, holding you down as his hips snapped forward. His cock slid across your tongue, bumping the back of your throat and making your eyes water.

"Fuck, your mouth feels incredible," he moaned, withdrawing only to roll his hips forward again. His movements were slow, methodical, savoring each shallow thrust as you fought not to gag.

Your fingers flexed against his palms, nails digging into his skin in silent retaliation. Sakusa hissed softly, but didn't pull away. If anything, the slight sting of pain seemed to spur him on, hips beginning to thrust faster, balls resting snug against your nose.

You could feel him pulsing against your tongue, a steady rhythm that had your cunt clenching emptily. Each drag of his cock against your palate sent another jolt of arousal straight to your clit, the heady musk of his arousal flooding your senses and making your head spin.

Sakusa was panting above you, his movements becoming more erratic. You could feel him growing thicker against your tongue, the vein along the underside throbbing in time with his racing pulse.

"So good," he growled, fingers digging into your wrists almost painfully. You could feel him beginning to tense, the muscles in his thighs quivering as his movements became more urgent. "Such a good girl, taking my cock so well. But you can do better, can't you, sweetheart? Take it deep like a good little cock-slut."

You whined around him, the sound vibrating against his length. His hips stuttered, a strangled groan tearing from his lips. His pace quickened, his thrusts becoming deeper, harder, the tip of his cock sliding down your throat with each brutal thrust.

"That's it, just like that," he moaned, his words tumbling over themselves. He was close, you could feel it in the way his muscles tensed, the way his breathing grew more ragged, the way his thrusts became more erratic. The last push he needed was the sight of your throat bulging around his girth, each movement visible through the smooth column of skin.

"Holy—fuck," he gritted out, hips jerking forward one final time. You felt him pulse against your tongue, his cock twitching once, twice before he pulled out with a groan, thick ropes of cum painting your face in messy streaks.

You gasped, eyes flying open as his spend coated your lips and chin. He released your wrists to grasp his shaft, pumping the last few spurts of seed out onto the exposed curves of your tits and throat. You whimpered, arching into the hot spray as his cock continued to pulse, your walls fluttering in desperate need for him.

Sakusa panted heavily, his hooded stare drinking in the sight of your thoroughly debauched appearance as he wiped the head of his spent dick against your parted lips. You swiped your tongue out to catch the salty fluid smeared there, eliciting a low groan from the man looming above you.

"Such a good girl," he purred, tracing a line through the sticky mess painting your lips. You could feel the tension humming beneath his skin, his fingers flexing against your cheeks as his darkened eyes burned through your form. "And so goddamn beautiful like this, covered in my cum..."

Sakusa leaned down to capture your parted lips in a searing kiss, the taste of his release heavy on your tongue as he plunged his into the molten depths of your mouth. You groaned into the heated embrace, fingers curling around his forearms to cling to him desperately as your tongues swirled and tangled together.

But just as suddenly as he'd initiated the languid assault, Sakusa pulled away - leaving you dazed and gasping as he straightened. Your eyelids fluttered open to see him gazing down at you with hooded, lust-darkened eyes. His pupils were blown wide, his nostrils flaring and the sharp planes of his face drawn into an expression of carnal hunger.

"On your stomach," he ordered, voice thick with need. "Ass in the air."

You obeyed without hesitation, scrambling to roll over and lift your ass in the air. Sakusa gripped the bunched skirt of your dress and yanked it up to bare the slick curves of your ass, a soft hiss of satisfaction leaving him as he took in the sight.

"Fucking gorgeous," he rasped, his hands gliding up the backs of your thighs to knead the swell of your ass. You whimpered into the mattress, hips grinding back into his touch instinctively.

"Please, Omi," you moaned, your voice muffled against the duvet. You couldn't even care that you were begging, that you were practically mewling like a bitch in heat - you just needed him, needed to be fucked so badly that you could hardly think straight. "Need you inside me, need your cock filling me up."

Sakusa groaned, the sound a mixture of approval and impatience. He tugged your soaked panties aside and positioned himself at your dripping entrance, the head of his cock sliding between your embarrassingly wet folds.

"Is this what you want, pet?" he asked, rubbing his length through your folds teasingly. You shuddered, the sensation nearly sending you over the edge as the swollen head brushed against your clit.

"Yessss," you hissed, arching back against him. Sakusa chuckled darkly, one hand reaching around to grab a handful of your hair. He yanked your head back roughly, the bite of pain sending a fresh wave of desire crashing through your veins.

"Beg me," he ordered, the tip of his cock bumping your clit again. You choked out a moan, your entire body trembling as his hips rolled in slow circles, grinding the aching flesh against your throbbing nub. "Show me how bad you want it, baby."

You sobbed with need, the sound coming out somewhere between a plea and a curse. Your whole body was buzzing, your mind completely blank save for the need burning white-hot in the pit of your belly.

"I-I'm sorry," you moaned, barely able to recognize the needy, pleading tone that spilled from your lips. "Omi, please, I need you so bad. I'll do anything, just please fuck me!"

The last word came out as a scream as Sakusa suddenly surged forward, sheathing his cock to the hilt in a single thrust. You were already so close, the sudden fullness was all it took to send you over the edge, your pussy spasming around him as hot, searing liquid gushed around his girth.

"F-fuck," Sakusa groaned, his grip on your hair tightening. He didn't bother to wait for you to come down from your high, pulling out and slamming into you again with a low growl. "Such a needy little thing, coming on my cock before I even got started."

"Omi," you mewled, his name the only coherent word you could manage. The room spun as your head swam, the sensation of his thick cock splitting you open overwhelming every sense.

"Tell me who owns this pussy, princess," he snarled, fingers digging into the curve of your hip as he picked up the pace. Each punishing thrust had you keening, the angle allowing him to bury his girth to the hilt with each snap of his hips. "Whose cunt is this?"

"Yours," you gasped, back arching to grind back against him. You could feel his balls slapping against your clit, the delicious friction sending shivers down your spine. "Omi, I'm yours. Please, make me come again."

"Shit," he growled, his hold on you tightening. He began to fuck you in earnest, his strokes growing deeper and more frantic. The head of his cock slammed into the tender bundle of nerves, forcing you closer and closer to the edge. "So fucking perfect, taking my cock so well."

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, accompanied by the obscene squelch of your soaked folds. Sakusa was growling with each thrust, the guttural groans spilling from his lips urging you closer and closer to the breaking point.

"You gonna come for me again, sweetheart?" he gritted out, his movements becoming more erratic. His free hand reached around to circle your clit, middle and ring finger sliding up on either side of the swollen nub to squeeze in a firm pinch.

The added pressure was too much, and you screamed his name as you came apart beneath him. You convulsed around his girth, the waves of pleasure washing over you, drowning you. Your vision went white, and the only thing you were aware of was the same feeling of hot liquid gushing from your core.

Sakusa hissed as your walls contracted around him, the wet, sloppy sounds of his cock sliding into your dripping pussy sending him over the edge. He let go of your hair, his hands moving to grasp both your hips. He used the leverage to yank you back against him, slamming into you one last time as his own orgasm crashed over him.

"Fuuuck," he groaned, his fingers pressing bruises into your hips as his cock twitched, releasing the last of his load deep inside you. You could feel him pulsing against your inner walls, his release mingling with yours and filling you to the brim.

You collapsed bonelessly onto the bed, whimpering when his softening length slipped out of you. Sakusa groaned at the sight, his thumbs parting your cheeks to watch as a trickle of pearly liquid dripped from your swollen folds.

He gave a satisfied hum, a lazy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He slid his index and middle fingers up through the mess, pushing the slippery mixture back inside.

"That's a good girl," he crooned, pumping his digits lazily. He relished the way you writhed and clenched around him, the sight sending a shiver of satisfaction through him. "Keep all my cum inside that tight little pussy."

He pulled his fingers out with a soft pop, and you shuddered at the loss. You lay sprawled out across the mattress, panting heavily. Your limbs felt like jelly, and your core ached deliciously.

You were still floating somewhere in the clouds when Sakusa climbed up onto the bed behind you, the mattress dipping under his weight. He gently turned you onto your back, his dark gaze sweeping over your debauched form with an appreciative hum.

"You alright, princess?" he asked, the husky undertone of his voice sending a fresh rush of arousal straight to your core. But despite your lingering need, exhaustion was creeping in, weighing down your eyelids. "Ready for round two?"

You opened your mouth to reply, but all that came out was a tired, unintelligible moan. You blinked up at him, eyelids heavy and vision blurring. You heard him chuckle, and felt his fingers slide along your jaw, tilting your chin up so you were looking at him.

"I’m just kidding, sweetheart," he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips over yours. The gesture was surprisingly tender, a marked contrast to his previous treatment. "We’ll work on your horrible stamina some other time."

"Fuck off, Omi," you mumbled, trying and failing to muster a glare. Instead, you leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. "Just hold me."

You heard him laugh softly, the sound accompanied by the rustling of sheets. Sakusa wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you into his chest and cradling you close. You nuzzled into him, sighing contentedly.

"Whatever you say, baby."

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #sakusa x reader smut #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa smut #msby sakusa #sakusa x reader #hq sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu sakusa #hq sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi x reader smut #kiyoomi smut #kiyoomi x reader

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holylulusworld · 4 months

Text

Jealous

Summary: No one can touch your man.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader

Warnings: jealousy, possessive reader, implied smut

You hate parties. You hate sharing your man’s attention. You hate it even more when women flit around him like you’re not even there.

Ransom is in his element. He smiles widely and chuckles at something one of the women said. You on the other hand are fuming.

Sulking in a corner you sip on a glass of champagne. You’re close to ripping her blonde hair out when she grabs his biceps and giggles at something your man said.

You square your jaw. The audacity of some women makes your blood boil. Ransom Drysdale has been a taken man for four years. They know he's in a relationship. Yet, that person is all over your man.

“That bitch,” you mutter under your breath as the woman gets bold. She slaps his chest and giggles again. “How dare her even look at my man. He’s not hers to touch.”

While you watch Ransom and get angrier per minute, he glances at you now and then. He smirks to himself and hopes you’ll get jealous.

Ransom would never admit it, but he loves it when you get jealous.

Most of the time, you are all over him and lay claim to his body and lips for the rest of the night. He can hardly wait for you to strike and grab him by the collar to kiss him breathlessly.

“That is enough,” you tell yourself and stalk toward the woman touching your man. You clear your throat to get her attention. “You’re not his wife, don’t talk to him!”

She smirks at you like you said something funny. “Who do you think you are?” She pushes her tits out and shows off her bleached teeth. “I talk to whoever I want to talk to.”

“Not if the man you are chatting up is my man,” you push her away from Ransom. “I'll give you five seconds to move and never look back. If not,” you smirk darkly and take another step toward her, “well, you’ll see what happens then.”

“Bitch,” she turns on her heels and is on her way toward the next man. She purrs his name and forgets about Ransom the moment the man smiles at her.

“Damn,” Ransom tugs at his suddenly too-tight pants. “Baby, I would never look at another woman. You know that.”

“As if I’d let you look at another woman,” you coo. He smirks when you fist his tie and wrap it around your hand, tugging hard. “You’re my man.”

“Prove it, baby cakes.”

“Oh, I will prove it all night long,” you lean closer to whisper your promise. “I hope you prepared my throne. You’ll let me ride that pretty face of yours because you talked to that woman.”

“I can hardly wait to taste that sweet cunt…”

Tags in reblog.

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drydale x you #x reader #ransom drysdale x female reader #knives out fanfiction #ransom x reader

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syoddeye · 19 days

Text

the warren, part six - natural

price x f!reader | 5.9k words | series page | ao3 tags: background ghoap, italicized flashbacks, skinny dipping, bathing, cunninglinus, vaginal fingering, breeding kink, darkfic. a/n: fireworks followed by fireworks. shout out to early and the arrangement. mdni banner by @/cafekitsune. 🔪

This must be what it feels like to open a tomb.

Fetid air sweeps over your cheeks. Warm and stagnant, smelling of earth and metal.

The room is maybe eight by ten feet and sinks another six down to an unfinished floor of exposed dirt and rock. Thin pipes run from under the floorboards and into the wall, disappearing further underground. An empty, dusty stack of wooden shelves stands bolted to the cement walls. You’d think it’s an old root cellar—if it weren’t for the door.

Four paneled. Old and weathered yet sturdy looking. You don’t dare hop into the pit to test the heavy lock affixed to it; no way you could climb out.

You take a photo, shut the hidden hatch, and smooth the rug over it.

It’s nothing. Has to be. Kate would’ve told you about it if it mattered. You haul the couch over it anyway and tuck into bed with a knife. In the small hours, you decide to call the landlady at breakfast, perhaps Phil too, for good measure.

“Oh, that? Old storm cellar.” Kate sounds amused, as if your trepidation is a cute joke. “The Warrens were originally from Tornado Alley. Hated storms. Brought that hate with them.”

“Where does the door lead?”

“A storage room. I emptied it.”

You lean against the counter, staring at the rug with your thumb caught between your teeth in thought. Since your arrival, you’ve seen two storms of note. Thunder and lightning, but nothing like the furies that roll over the Great Lakes, the ones that rattled the shutters and windows or leaked from cracks in the ceiling. Certainly no tornadoes. You, of all people, know what it is to carry a fear. A hatred.

“Everything alright?”

You fish for reassurance. “Yes. I feel silly, that’s all.”

The hook goes ignored. “Mhm.”

“Guess I’ll move the couch back.” You laugh, apologize for troubling her, and leave the couch where it sits.

You don’t call Phil. You’d sound ridiculous.

Later, you sneak some extra work in, at least you try to. A mechanical whir putters then skips. You swear a wisp of smoke leaks from the disk drive. The old laptop that could, no more. Rendered a fossil, unresponsive to your troubleshooting. Frustration burns your belly, whittling your patience to naught. It fractures at the ring of your phone.

“Yes?” You snap, instantly searing yourself with the white-hot brand of guilt. “I’m so sorry, hello?”

John chuckles. “Bad time?”

“John. Oh, no. I–I’m not scheduled today, am I?”

“No, you’re alright. Shop’s slow, so I thought I’d check in.” He pauses. “If you’re busy, I can chat later.”

“I’m not. Unexpectedly so,” you shove your laptop off your lap, rising from bed. You stretch and pace to the kitchen. “Mind if I keep you company? See the kittens?” Best clear your head.

“I’d be delighted.”

The kittens are feral. You know this, yet their instinctive rejection smarts. From a sun-bleached lawn chair, you watch them tussle and spar in the shade of John’s building. Their mother, the first time you’ve seen her, lounges on the welcome mat. She’s a proud creature. Big and gray like a storm cloud.

You haven’t come around to John’s understanding concerning the cats. The queen tolerates one of her kittens, nearly too old to nurse, as it tries to latch. You wonder if the baby’s a female. If she, like her mother, will fall pregnant in a few months. If she’ll end up with an unseasonably late litter, born to frost and snow rather than wildflowers and sunlight.

“Beautiful thing,” John observes, emerging from the garage with an ice-cold soda. He slots it in your hand and plants himself in the chair beside you. “Mama and her babies.”

“It’s something.”

“They’ll be off on their own soon. They’ll do fine.”

“And if not?” If one of the area’s predators doesn’t get to them, the road awaits.

“Then that’s that. Nature takes its course.”

You hate that he’s not wrong. Falling prey to a beast or an accident is simply what happens to creatures like the kittens. You chew your lip, thinking of how immutable that truth might’ve been once, but now? With the means to prevent all the unnecessary heartache? Knowing John’s attitude on man’s interference, you don’t voice it. Knowing your own.

You catch him staring. There’s something in the way his eyes linger. A quiet intensity that betrays the hunger he’s set aside for your benefit. Unspoken but raw. Crude. It claws at you as much as it does him.

Later, in the shower, you reacquaint yourself with your softer parts. You rouse a lovely pressure but fumble. It slips through your fingers and down the drain with the water.

Your first inventory trip to Ponderosa arrives. The ride is more pleasant than the last, and John shoos you away to the library when you try to help at the town depot. He warns you it’s a lot of dull conversation and lifting, so you slink off.

The whole town’s decorated for the Fourth. Its two hotels are bursting at the seams, sidewalk patios filled with folk. A shuttle to a resort ten minutes away stops in front of the coffee shop, making the decision to delay your visit for you.

The Ponderosa Public Library is cozy and welcoming. The gleaming white stone floor of the entrance lends a hallowedness. Phil Graves’s drawl drifts through your head at the sight of a local history display positioned near the front, but the honeyed voice of the librarian hooks your attention. Draped in a floor-length cardigan, the kindly older woman eagerly waves you in. She’s thrilled to register you with a temporary card when you inquire.

“I can count on one hand how many visitors have signed up this summer. Two!” She laughs. “Your name?”

~~~

In the pre-dawn stillness of the desert, the landscape is a vast, empty stretch painted in muted hues of gray and indigo. Hints of morning light graze the earth and highway, devoid of traffic aside from the occasional tumbleweed. The openness feels expansive yet intimate. Alien, yet familiar. Desolation and your lonely home of some years. Where life makes the best of it. The most stability you’ve ever known.

You arrive in town five minutes past seven.

Passing the gas station, you keep your head down and ring hand displayed to let the synthetic gemstone reflect the sun. It doesn’t stop one trucker from leaning out of his cab with an appreciative whistle.

The library’s office light is on, so you knock on the staff entrance. Robin lets you in thirty seconds later, chattering on about a game show. You clean the bathrooms while she prepares the rest of the branch to open. You finish with minutes to spare and settle at the boxy computer that keeps your back to a wall.

The usual patrons file and out in as you send a dozen inquiry emails to writing gigs and delete rejections. You write a father of the bride speech for $50, your biggest job yet. Every sentence is a penny, and pennies add up. You’ll have enough for the car, gas, and computer in a few months. Everything is planned out and locked safely away in your head, except for one detail.

You traipse slowly along the geography shelf, hand poised like a dowsing rod, waiting for a feeling. Your fingers brush a spine and shiver. Idaho Cities and Townships. Paging to the index, you trace your finger down the list like you’re looking for the right scripture in church. The psalm to sing. Something pulls your finger to a place called Grouse Bay. It burrows under your skin and nails. Hope.

~~~

You revere librarians. They’re the only people you’ve met who never pry, lest it be to help you. Jeanne, the librarian of this particular branch, leaves you to peruse without hovering. The bangles on her arms clink together like a bell on a cat. She minds herself until you approach the checkout with a short stack.

“Excellent choices, sweetie. These’ll keep you plenty company.” She scans them, apprising you of the upcoming fireworks, but abruptly pauses. Her eyes stare past you. “Are you expecting a handsome fella? A Brawny Man lookalike?”

From outside, John waves with a smile. You return both. “I am.”

She whistles low and slides the books to you with a knowing look. “I take it back. He’ll be plenty of company.”

Outside, John hooks a finger in your tote the moment you’re within reach and peers inside. Nosy.

“A couple of romances, nothing you’d like.”

“That so? You don’t think I’d like…The Arrangement?”

You bat at his hand, clutching your haul and tilting away as you walk. “I highly doubt it.”

A waggish grin lights up his face. If the man on the front cover of that particular text bears a resemblance to him, it’s pure coincidence.

On the ride home, his hand inches over your thigh. You let it rest and take another long shower.

You still can’t scratch the itch.

Despite John’s preparations, the Fourth of July cleans the grocer out of booze, cigarettes, and just about everything else. The store shuts after lunch, and he talks you into a boat ride.

“I didn’t know you owned a boat.”

“I don’t,” He hefts a cooler onto the tailgate, the last stash of crusher beer inside. “Kate does. Nik just patched her up.”

“Wish he’d fix my car.” Nikolai mentioned the part was delayed two weeks and blamed a train derailment further West.

Kate’s home is an aging two-story half a mile down the lakeside road. Two juniper trees bracket the entrance, with twin rows of bluebells and dogbane lining the path. Her Ranger sits under a carport, flanked by a muddy ATV and an old Bronco.

You shoulder your bag and walk to the rear of John’s truck, studying the unfamiliar vehicles. “Who else is joining us?”

“Hello, rabbit.” A gruff voice purrs. Outdoors, Simon looks larger than life with no fixture or frame to duck. His muscles bulge under a black t-shirt, the skin on his arms more bronzed than his face. However, as he steps directly behind you, leaning over you to grab the cooler, you see faint tan lines around his eyes.

You whip around to face the cab, trying to not look so obvious with your failed escape attempt, and see John’s mouth flatten. Simon’s chest brushes and bumps your back, pelvis ghosting your hip as he effortlessly hauls the packed cooler over your head. The smell of burnt rubber, oil, and sweat is fleeting but intense.

“How’s the boat?” John slams his door. You flinch and hastily close the rear gate.

“Glorified sardine tin.” Simon clears his throat and spits, then jerks his head. “C’mon.”

You follow in silence, crossing the road and descending a creaky staircase built into the slope of the hillside leading to the lake. Kate’s boat is bigger than you imagined, a double-decker pontoon. She and Nik stand at the mooring fixed to an aluminum dock, and as you step onto the last shallow flight, a man emerges from the cabin.

His grin is a crescent set on a chiseled jaw and hard to look away from. He isn’t as tall as Simon, but cuts just as imposing of a figure with wide shoulders and thick arms. He bounds closer, greeting the three of you like an excitable dog. Simon passes by, mumbling something that makes the man straighten and lock on to you with eyes an unnerving shade of blue, cynoid. Nothing like John’s.

John gently nudges you ahead and supplies your name. “And this is Soap. He’s Simon’s partner.”

Partner. That’s not as comforting as you want it to be. “Soap?”

An accent wraps around his words, catching you off guard. “Aye. Soap. Heard a lot about ye.”

“Good things I hope?”

He leans, voice dropping into a conspiratorial but genial whisper. “Plenty. Though if ye got a naughty streak, I won’t tell.”

The breeze off the lake doesn’t abate the heat his compliment evokes. A whiff of acetone blends with mint wafts off him, but it’s his nostrils that flare. He’s sniffing you. “I don’t–”

“Soap!” Simon barks.

“Chat later.” He whispers, then answers Simon’s call, disappearing with his counterpart.

A bit dazed, you greet Kate, and she steers you aboard. John unmoors the boat with Nik muttering in his ear, and you’re shown the prime seat at the bow. Kate takes the helm, and within minutes, the pontoon putters away from shore to join the dozens of vessels dotting the lake. Simon and Soap return with armfuls of bottles and cans, someone turns the satellite radio on, and John fits himself to your side. You don’t know the last time you celebrated the Fourth, and here you are, toasting two Brits, a Scot, and a Russian. If there’s a punchline, you hope to find it.

A flask eventually appears. You refuse, watching Soap’s mouth pucker in disgust and Nikolai drinking deep like it’s water. John squeezes your shoulder, his arm draping over you with his thigh pressed to yours.

He murmurs, “Why don’t you go see Kate? Get some girl talk in?”

Kate doesn’t seem the type for girl talk, but how the others seem to hold their breath at John’s suggestion propels you to your feet.

You find Kate atop the upper deck, sprawled with a book and a cigarette dangling out of her mouth. The boat rides the wake of passing speedboats, forcing you to crawl and sit cross-legged. You barely hear the men below save for another toast.

“Too much for you, huh?” Kate asks, taking a drag.

It’s a conscious decision to not mention girl talk. “Yep. They’re…a lot.”

She snorts and lets the conversation wither early on the vine, probably for the best. She is your landlord.

Basking in the sun, you drink your warming beer and watch the water. Listen to the whoops and hollers across the lake.

When your father moved you across state lines to a ramshackle home perched atop a steep hill, you often crept onto the roof to do just this. They called that lake an unsalted sea, vast and untamed. Choppy with whitecaps and an unfathomable shade of blue, always darker than the sky above. You lived in fear of it, listening dutifully when your father carped on your morbid fascination. He banned you from trekking to its shores.

As a child, he suffered visions of you getting swept up by a rogue wave. You believed him, wanting him to care. As a teenager, you wondered if it was his way of protecting you from the men who prowled the docks, the boogeymen in the dark. His tacit acknowledgment of your growing older. Now, a thousand miles and a lifetime away, you know it’s because he simply didn’t want another prisoner to escape.

The first man whose love you wanted tried to trap you with water. The second dragged you to a desert. Looking down at John, your stomach twists. The third time’s a charm. He’s not like them.

“Rabbit.” Soap’s shaggy head pokes over the deck’s edge. “Mind if I join?”

Kate turns a page, you scoot, and Soap hoists himself up.

“So. You and John. What’s that like?” He laughs at your wince. “C’mon. Dinnae be shy. Been a minute since someone’s turned his head.”

“It’s…new.”

“New. Aye. Steamy? At eachother like–”

“Christ,” Kate grumbles, suddenly rocking up to a seated position, simultaneously stubbing out her cigarette as she slides to the edge. “I don’t need to hear this.”

Soap snickers. “Dinnae mind her.”

Sensing a sliver of an opening, you redirect. “John said you and Simon were partners. How long have you been together?”

“Years, I reckon. Hard to picture life before him. I was a mess. Workin’ at his shop’s done me good.”

“Oh, I thought you were partner partners.”

He grins. “No, yer not mistaken. We’re partners in business an’ bed.”

With a gentle dig, his elbow finds your ribs, and you feign an affable chuckle into your drink. The cheap beer’s too tepid to stomach, but you swallow, hide a grimace and push on. “What brought you here?”

Soap rolls his shoulders and finally casts his gaze elsewhere. “Wanted to see the world. I was an artist. I fucked off from home at sixteen an’ never returned. Wandered for years. Traveled all over.”

Sixteen. Incomprehensible. Not that eighteen was much better, but you weren’t alone.

“And you stopped here?” You came to Grouse Bay to hide. Picked it at random. To think someone else did the same seems kismet.

“I ken. Ye probably think I’m daft. Of all the places I’ve seen, how come fuckin’ Idaho? Of all places? I dinnae. Set its hooks in me.” He glances at Simon. “Love’s got a way of changing people, aye? Transformin’ them. It could be ye, putting down roots next.”

The comment nips your soft underbelly. You pivot again. “Did you paint? Do you still create art?”

Soap turns. “Nae so much anymore. I mostly draw. Dipped my toes into painting, but too much to carry. The art I make nowadays…It’s gruesome.”

“What do you mean?”

“Taxidermy. ‘S what Simon and I do,” His eyebrows shoot up, teeth flashing in a puckish smile. “Ye didnae ken?”

Revulsion tightens your throat. “I didn’t.”

He bites his lower lip, clearly eager to fan your disgust like a fire. A hairbreadth of control keeps his mouth shut long enough to rethink it. Instead, his focus drifts once more to his partner.

Despite the acidity lapping at your throat, curiosity opens your mouth. “Do you know how Simon came to Grouse Bay?”

Soap’s lips press tightly together, enough to sap their color, then bend into a brief scowl. Without warning, he stands and rips his shirt off in one smooth movement. He tosses it, crows a complaint about the heat, and doesn’t look over the upper deck before launching off the pontoon.

Howls of laughter erupt, but surprise tethers you in place until John calls your name. Apparently, a sunset dip is tradition.

Ducking into the cabin under the premise of changing, you whisper to Kate, “I don’t have a swimsuit. John didn’t tell me about swimming.”

“He must’ve,” Kate quarters a lemon on the tiny counter and tucks a wedge into the bottle’s narrow mouth. She shoves it through with a thumb and licks the pad. “Nobody will bat an eye if you go in your underwear.”

“I’m not–that’s too–”

“You’re shy. That’ll pass. I’ll tell John you need his shirt.” She’s gone before you can argue.

A short eternity squeezes into less than a minute. John appears in the doorway, and beyond him, you hear Nikolai’s deep laugh.

“Kate says you’re shy.”

“I’m not shy.”

“Well, I’ve come to give you this just in case.”

You thought you’d see John shirtless for the first time under different circumstances. Not in a cramped boat cabin, surrounded by his drunk friends. Your chest tightens. All the muscle you’ve only glimpsed and imagined is there in front of you. A torso sculpted by labor and practicality, rugged with scars and fat cushioning his stomach. And, to your delight, decently hirsute. His hand drops to his belt.

“Shirt’s yours. Need me to turn around?”

It feels more intimate than any kiss he’s given you, and it seems a test. You muster your nerve, set aside caution, and peel off your dress.

“Blue and white. Festive.”

“And you’re in green.”

He kicks off his jeans with a shrug. “Not my birthplace, and not for long.”

Standing at the stern, you entertain second and third thoughts, toying with the shirt’s hem. John waits in the water, expectant. You catch a flash of white—he’s nude. Toward the bow, you hear the others. They’re all nude.

“What about Kate?” You ask, voice warbling with uncertainty.

“Kate never joins. She watches.”

“Watches?”

“For other boats. Voyeurs. Threats.”

You feel stupid for asking.

The shock of the cold water hits like a full-body slap, stealing your breath and sending a sharp jolt through your limbs. Arms wrap around you as you surface, and the scruff of John’s beard scrapes the juncture of your neck, chin pushing the wet shirt aside to briefly suck your neck. It’s sudden, it’s a lot, knowing what’s behind your back—

“John!” You sputter indignantly, giggling nervously as his broad hands slide to squeeze your hips.

“Gimme a second.” He noses your wet skin and plants a few kisses before relinquishing his hold. “Sorry, sweetheart. Hard to keep my hands off you when you look so good.”

Sufficiently flustered, you promptly forgive him. “It’s fine. Just not in front of the others, please.”

“Right,” he chuckles and pinches your bottom as he paddles past. “She’s shy.”

Affronted, you swim after him.

As much as you hate to admit, Kate was right—your shyness melts with the sun’s slow descent. You spend the rest of the daylight in and out of the water, racing the men and learning to automatically avert your eyes from their frankly proud nakedness. By the time evening falls, you’re worn out, dressed, and idle as you munch on a sandwich Kate packed. It feels surreal. The entire day. Breathtakingly normal despite the skinny dipping.

Not weird, just different.

Eventually, everyone finds their place for the fireworks. You nestle into John’s side, swapping your towel for a blanket. He’s still bare-chested, shirt drying over an empty seat. It’s natural, resting your head on his shoulder. Fits perfectly. Simon, Soap, and Nikolai climb to the roof. Kate reclines in the captain’s chair. Beneath the cotton weave, John’s hand strokes your knee, and the other rests across your shoulders. The conversations lull as the whole lake seems to hold its breath.

Flashes of red and white burst overhead, their reflections shimmering over the rippling, dark water. Blue sparks spill in glittering arcs, lighting the night sky in meteoric explosions. Cheers from across the lake erupt alongside them. John’s hold doesn’t lax. For nearly an hour, he keeps you close, palm searing your skin. Your attention strays from the show, instead admiring his crow’s feet, the mole on his nose, and the silver woven into his beard. The fireworks cast a glow, making him look almost ethereal. Not angelic, otherworldly. The lines and marks on his skin map to places you’ve never been. Never thought you’d go.

The sky returns to an unbroken, inky black, the scent of sulfur settling in a fog. Kate ferries you to land, and you disembark ahead of John with his keys. In the drive, you pop the tailgate and then load your things into the passenger seat.

“Bunny.”

You turn to see Soap hauling the cooler, huffing and puffing a bit. The thing’s empty, so he must’ve hurried up the stairs. He crosses the road, tossing his burden into the truck.

“Bunny?”

He shakes his head. “Must’ve misheard. Said ‘bonnie’. Endearment of sorts. Listen, I was hopin’ to get another chance to speak with ye. You’re a good time when you let loose.”

“Thank you. I haven’t in a while. Felt nice.”

“I can tell. Simon said ye were wound tight. He frighten ye?”

To the core of your being. A congenital fear. You swallow it. “No.”

“Really? Big fella scares me.” Soap pitches his voice low. He casually stretches and grips the window crank, effectively caging you into the wedge of the door. His nostrils widen like earlier, pupils dilating in the light. “Now. Need ye to tell me somethin’. Been eatin’ me all day, and I cannae be a dog and put my nose wherever I’d like. Gotta be good.”

Instantly, ropes harness your thoughts, prepared to draw and quarter them into the bleakest parts of imagination. The desert, the inland sea.

The plastic handle creaks under his grip as he forces the words out between his teeth. “Did ye find—”

“Johnny.” Simon. Soap immediately reels backward, tugged by an invisible thread.

“Here, sir!”

Sir? Johnny?

“ATV. Now.”

Soap doesn’t so much as spare a parting glance, obediently scurrying to the four-wheeler. You stare, dumbfounded, and jump when the driver-side door creaks. John smiles wryly, his shirt adorning his neck like a damp scarf. The trail of hair disappearing into his waistband is a momentary distraction from the brute stalking beyond the windshield. Simon’s scarred flesh is a beacon in the moonlight. His heavy brow focused solely on the man perched atop his vehicle. You hear him seething, growling under his breath at Soap—Johnny—and John’s door shuts.

“C’mon, sweetheart. They’re alright.” He coaxes you into the cab, patting your knee with a sigh. “Lover’s quarrel. Simon’s a jealous man.”

“Jealous,” you echo, gawking at the two men outside. “Of me?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.” John starts the truck and lowers his window. He leans out some as Nik and Kate share a smoke at the end of her walk. “Night, Kate. Nikolai.”

Nikolai leers behind his cigarette, gesturing with it in your direction. A few words of Russian escape with the smoke, a throaty laugh on their heels. Kate looks impassive. Bored. Her house disappears in the rearview. A restiveness itches under your skin, exacerbated by the quiet crackling of the radio. Your head’s a crowded place. The silence’s a good place to unburden it.

“So. Soap’s real name is Johnny?”

John chuckles. “Nobody but Simon calls him that, but you didn’t think it was Soap, did you?”

“I’m assuming it’s to keep things less confusing.”

“Correct. I actually employed him for a spell, when he arrived. Earned the name ‘Soap’ on account of his mouth. Needless to say, his career in retail was brief. Kept flirtin’ with the customers.”

“And he got with Simon?”

“Simon swept him off his feet.”

You scoff. “That’s difficult to believe.”

“Simon has his ways.”

Nothing in your short, tense encounters suggests Simon to be a man capable of love or romance. You doubt it is uncharitable to think so, either. Ferine and rude, calculated and off-putting. Everything he does aims to disarm by making the very air around him feel heavy and wrong, whereas Soap seems keen to impress upon you his friendliness, conveying himself as human conciliation. ‘Opposites attract’ has limits.

Yet.

“Soap said love has a way of changing people.”

John hums in agreement. “Most powerful force there is.”

Can’t argue with that. Force for good or otherwise, though—that you may dispute.

You don’t tell him to, but he shuts the truck off in the drive. Cats scatter as he escorts you, voicing their displeasure at your late arrival. Under the exterior light, you fumble with your keys, his gaze heavy on your cheek. In the time it takes to turn the lock, you berate yourself. Plead with a jury close to hanging.

It’s swimming all over again. Are you shy? Timid? Are you allowing the long, creeping reach of your abandoned husband to touch you before you let John try? The verdict passes your lips.

“Won’t you come in?”

“It’s late.”

“Please come in.”

It takes two invitations to coax John Price into the cabin and a third to the shower.

A shuddering sigh of relief comes with removing your underwear and dress. The freedom from wet cotton eclipses the nervousness that makes your skin prickle with goosebumps. The urge to cover yourself in front of the man who is not your husband sings loud, nearly shrieking when he brushes his knuckles down your arm and gently turns you around. He starts the water, returning to press his front to your back, the slight tackiness of lakewater and sweat melding you together. His fingertips run a track from your flanks to the sides of your breasts, a hum buzzing into the skin of your shoulder when you grasp the counter.

When Dusty—No. No. He’s not here. John is.

You banish the venomous guilt that tries to unseat your want and let John tug you into the shower to wash the day off.

He’s hard for most of it, his swollen cock skimming your hips and ass, glancing over your belly, and nearly driving the strength from your legs. He seems unfazed, reverent, and single-minded in his self-imposed task. It’s embarrassing, the way you squirm and fidget at every touch. Difficult to tell if it’s arousal or the unfamiliarity of intimacy.

John takes your place under the spray and chuckles softly when you finally look down. His fingers scrub through his body hair to the thatch at his cock’s root. You suck in a breath. He’s proportional—thick, heavy, and flushed. Hangs between the two of you, untouched, but you know it would burn your hand. Your tongue. The dizzying rush from that last thought alone reassures you because you don’t remember the last time you knelt because you wanted to.

Neither of you dress. Both of you barely dry. He insists on a light, hovering at the bedside lamp until you nod. When he climbs onto the bed, murmuring little nothings, your blood’s roaring in your ears, drowning out his encouragement. He opens your legs for a good look, but he might as well wrench open your ribcage.

“Quite the sight.” John whispers. His palms slide from your knees to your upper thighs, the rough pads of his thumbs stroking where your thighs meet your pelvis.

You imagine fastening an anchor to your brain, then a lure. Stay here, stay focused.

“Yeah?”

His eyes flick to yours, narrowing as he reads into the single word. “Yeah. Beautiful.” He slowly slides and sinks to kiss your thighs, positioning himself between your legs. His shoulders stretch them further, and an arm snakes around and pulls you closer all too easily, hand groping a greedy handful. His breath hits where it’s wet, coarse hair tickling skin.

The first contact rips a sharp breath from you, which he immediately meets with a hum that buzzes to the base of your spine. The fingers on your thighs brush soothingly as he continues, jaw pressing further. His mouth latches, tongue dipping lower and in, laving along your entrance before circling to your clit. Each stroke and circuit deliberate, adjusting to the sounds spilling uninhibited from your mouth. Your hands reach and thread into his hair with a moan.

He groans softly into your flesh, nosing the fat above your sex, chuckling when your hips pitch. His hand travels up your quivering inner thigh to ease a finger in, pulling away to sink it into the first knuckle with a wet sound.

“Look at you.” John sounds wrecked, beard and chin drenched in spit and slick, tongue licking the excess from his lip. Eyes boring into you with that look again. Unmasked hunger, barely tethered. The one you touched yourself to in the shower.

“Smelled you all day, smelled this,” He emphasizes with a pump of his finger, kissing your clit at the strangled, small noise you make. “Leaking into your pants, even after a swim. Nearly laid you out right there, during the fireworks.”

A filthy whine erupts at the thought. You picture it vividly. John tearing your dress off of you, hauling you to the floor of the boat. Nik and Kate and Simon and Soap—all of them watching John mount you, ignoring the spectacle for a different show. Would any of them intervene? Would you want them to?

You clench at the thought, and he smirks.

He introduces a second finger alongside the first, hushing your reedy whimpers at the stretch. “The needy thing knew I was near. Knew that I could scent her crying out for me. Poor thing, neglected and mistreated. Needed a man to fuss over her.”

Your face grows somehow hotter. Not enough that you’re naked and under him, he needs to strip you bare and sweetly flay you alive. “John—”

He cuts you off, tutting. “Don’t be embarrassed—it’s natural for a man to want his mate.”

His fingers plunge to the webbing, ratcheting up to earnestly fuck you now that he’s teased you into incoherency. “Never gonna leave you lonely,” he rasps, tucking his mouth back over your pearled clit.

Every year, the lake ice cracks and fractures with the arrival of spring. This is no different.

Muscles flexing and fluttering, dimly aware of the praises he murmurs against your cunt, you shatter.

He doesn’t withdraw his fingers until you score his scalp and beg, and even then they slide over your slit, cupping the slippery folds of your pussy. He kisses and wipes his cum-soaked whiskers over your spasming thighs and stomach, his free hand planting beside you. John looms, pleased but not quite sated.

He pets your cunt and waits for the worst of your trembling to cease. “Perfect,” he affirms, giving it a wet pat. He grunts, then abruptly knocks your legs open a second time with a knee, removing his hand to slick his cock.

Your eyes bulge, vision clearing in an instant at the view. Sat ignored for too long, his cock flushes a deeper shade of red, precome clinging to it like wax and seeping into his hair. He wraps his hand around the thick of himself, shuddering, eyes screwing shut as he strokes.

You think your orgasm might’ve knocked something loose. You reach a shaking hand and touch his knee.

“J-John? I-I can’t…I can’t, not yet.” You are selfishness incarnate, asking him to quash his hunger once more.

His eyes snap open. His pupils drill into you, flitting between your twitching cunt, his cockhead, and your face. Stygian and starving.

“I’m sorry. Please.”

He swallows, chest heaving with his unwhetted appetite, its festering close to spoiling. For a moment, fear poleaxes you into the mattress when he shuffles on his knees closer anyway, knees pushing under your thighs.

“Not yet? That’s…okay,” John breathes raggedly. He nods, fisting his cock faster. His free hand glides from the valley of your breasts to your stomach, tracing a circle. “We’ll get there, sweetheart…Can I…?”

Biting your lip, you nod.

He sighs, hips bucking slightly. “You’ll be taking my cock in no time. No tears, now. Wipe ‘em off.”

You obey immediately, not having realized you’d started crying, and see his cock jump in his hand at that.

John chuckles a little brokenly, struggling to speak through gritted teeth. “Soon, I can feel it. Gonna empty that head of yours, weed out what’s holding you back, and fill you, fuck, here.” His fingers press over your womb, and he jerks forward. Hot ropes of come shoot out, coating his fingers and your skin. He rocks into his fist a few more times, the motions stuttering, until leisurely sinking back to his haunches.

After he withdraws and returns to clean you up, wiping the sweat off your brow before the cum on your belly, he tucks the both of you into bed. He turns off the lamp and claims the side closest to the door. He spoons you with his heartbeat to your spine.

Staring into the night beyond the window, you apologize again.

“I want to. I really want to.”

“I know, darl. I know.” He kisses your shoulder. “What did I say? We’ll get there.”

He falls asleep wrapped around you. You, however, lie awake trying to remember what it is to share a bed with someone willingly. With someone who wants you.

Eventually, you wriggle out a hand and grab your phone, dimming its brightness all the way down. You haven’t checked it since work and swipe to your messages. A text from an unknown number sits at the top of your notifications.

>> F741 >> hold

#price x reader #price x f! reader #john price x f!reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain price x f!reader #the warren

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plasticfangtastic · 4 months

Text

Cozy Corner Domaystic--Prompt: 3. Grocery Shopping, 18. Snow Day, 21. Road trip (sort of)

Charred Steak

A Butchlander fic

Sypnopsis: Butcher is in charge of taking care of Homelander.

Tags: Fluff?, non-canon anything, partially-depowered Homelander, depressive, one-shot, not proof read i die like this.

word count: 1.5k words

This is the forth time he’s heard this song on the radio, one can only tolerate the same country cover before been driven insane but is better than nothing, their car only had an old stereo and he rather not drive in silence with this company, they’ve arrived to their cabin and found it more than just barren, ordered to stay out of sight and hidden until further notice so it was just functional not comfortable but at least it'll do, the snow was piling up and the sun had begun to set-- all Butcher wanted was anything in his stomach and a drink to warm him up, then worry about tomorrow and the road.

Leaving the cargo behind he headed to the nearest town over an hour away, in normal circumstance he wouldn’t dare leave this guy alone but now he can’t go anywhere, he’s bound to the ground like any other sad sod in the world should-- or at least for the most part, but he’s not complaining he himself doesn’t want to do anything, he’s rotting away on his passenger seat or the floor, the most he’s spoken this whole drive to the middle of nowhere America had been to complain about the amount of ads on the radio then over this song.

But Butcher pays him no mind.

This drive is short compared to the last few days, the song just an annoying reminder.

The supermarket is a little small, but he can at least take a breather in aisle dillydalling as he reads the ingredients and cooking instructions, he was no gourmand much less Gordon Ramsey so he would eat anything.

Homelander much the same--he had no taste for food not eating much either, losing weight to a worrisome degree even his bosses had ordered him to feed him, so he stuffed the trolley with a decent variety of things in hopes he liked something, he ignored the ringing on his phones, too exhausted to deal with the rest of the boys after such a long drive, just wanting to get back and eat.

He picks two packs of steaks seeing which was the best deal, he should buy the cheapest chuck knowing Homelander doesn’t deserve anything but dollar store steak but he puts the T-Bone on the trolley nevertheless, he can’t really brush away the image of Homelander’s distraught, how dead he was, after all these days bound together Homelander feel more like a husk dressed and bleached than his archnemesis.

Reading his shopping list he got he milk, the hot cocoa, enough water for a month, he got the bread, butter, canned chili and beans, too many cans that at some point he’s unsure if they will eat it all, toilet paper, frozen vegs and lots of steak, he shouldn’t be buying candies... Homelander seemed to despise anything with fructose unless its coke.

But he still throws a few in there.

Butcher almost wishes the snow buries his car and leaves him stranded if that meant he can stay away from the blond.

But he makes it to the cabin, he looks up and sees no smoke.

He ran as if his life depended on it, his mind only remembers the Homelander of the past, he’s gone and he’s fucked.

The door slams open and he’s taunting the air with his gun but all there is a mess hovering a dwindling flame, wrapped in a blanket and shivering, his foot sticking out and blue.

“You’ll get hypothermia that way… don’t you know how to keep a fire going?”

Homelander doesn’t reply, his eyes yearn to light up but he’s just there immobile on the ground and if his head hadn’t move just a second prior he would had thought it was a corpse.

Homelander doesn’t move when Butcher fixes the fireplace again, but he will pretend to not have noticed that the man squinted and smiled as the warmth enveloped him, he catchest that odd look in his eyes as he touches him to put that poor foot back inside the quilt.

Butcher does his things, putting things away wishing he would help or talk but all Homelander wants to do is sit by the fire like a cat.

“They said on the radio that the snow storm is only going to get worse… we will be stranded so if you want anything I didn’t get at the shops you better speak up now.”

Homelander says nothing.

“You… whatevah…”

Homelander doesn’t do anything, Butcher can fix their temporary residency for a couple days without protest.

He looks at his watch and realizes that Homelander hasn’t eaten or drank anything for hours, he looks at the man grunting as he forces himself to care for him, picking him up from the ground and finally earning a response from the man, he looks at Butcher wincing at him trying to push him away but while there is strength that doesn’t match those thin arms, he’s still weak.

Dragging him up, the man looks away from him-- he looks more angry than ashamed

“I’m gonna make dinner. Be useful and set the table.”

Homelander stood there as Butcher looks back at him and for some disturbing amount of time Homelander stood frozen, but without making a sound he floats and helps him out, he moves smoothly and quicker than most but not in a manner that seemed natural for him.

“Is that… good enough?” His voice is so dry, it hurts to listen, he nods for putting a table wasn’t rocket science– what are you making?”

Butcher grins surprised to hear the bastard wanting to chit-chat.

“Steak and veggies.” He says bluntly.

“Better than slim jims and whisky…”

He sounds normal for a second which gets Butcher to turn around, he much rather listen to this version of him instead of the corpse tied to him.

“You got milk but no whisky… Did you forget?”

Butcher eyes light up in horror, the snow so thick outside he knows it probably not a good idea to travel anymore not at this hour.

“You did get slim jims…”

“Is better if I stay sober if am s’ppose to be stuck ‘ere with you until I get my next orders.”

Homelander smile is more somber than Butcher wants to witness-- he can tell he's bullshiting him so his hearing isn't all gone, this situation is dire but he still looks at the disheveled blonde with a bit of anxiety, his suit long gone replaced by dark coloured sweats, missing a sock and a beard that's gone from scratchy to scruffy, Homelander has been docile for the most part, Butcher becoming his nurse bathing him, washing his hair, shaving that god awful beard... he’s been comatose for weeks, waking up and being no different than a vegetable, moved from coast to coast away from Vought and their minions, Butcher has gotten uncomfortably familiar with Homelander, so when he acts alive its great but it annoys him.

It was weird for Homelander to talk or move this much these days-- Butcher almost gotten accustomed to the potato sack, he can't tell if Homelander will act out but Butcher has learned some tricks to keep him tame.

He lowers the flame letting the steak sizzle and crisp and the veggies boil without supervision for a moment, as he maneuvers around Homelander to take a pack of Werther’s candy from the pantry, Homelander watchest him closely as he rips the candy open.

“You've been a good boy. Haven't tried to run in a whole week… thought you deserved a treat”

“Twisted ankles hurt so much more than I expected it… simpler to break them… what’s the point of running if it’ll hurt afterwards... don't get me started on sore knees."

“You won’t run anymore, right?” Butcher teases Homelander, pressing the cream coloured candy in-between his fingers lifting it towards Homelander’s mouth– you’ll be a good sweet boy for daddy and stay right where I tell ya to stay, right?”

“Is not like I can leave you.” He looks out the window– is also snowing quite a bit… we both can’t leave each other either way."

“So you’ll be a good boy and behave?"

“yes, daddy” He says mockingly.

Butcher presses the creamy candy on the blond’s lip his tongue stretching and catching those calloused fingers, Butcher knows he shouldn’t get to know him more, he hates the bastard, but as the man suckles on his fingers, remembering bittersweet memories-- Homelander is so sensitive to the pain, so sensitive to everything else too... he'll do anything not to feel pain but something else.

It was wrong, it was sick but Butcher found it cathartic, more cathartic than the bruise on Homelander’s neck... now a sweet shade of olive, his mouth watered at the thought of being trapped together.

Homelander smiled crushing the candy as Butcher’s fingers escape those sharp toothers, still sharp enough to rip bone clean, he knows well... he got the stiches to remind him.

“I don’t like well-done steak.”

“Youse get what you get.”

“You don’t like well-done either.”

“Fuck.”

The snow piles up, Butcher and Homelander eat in silence, the snow piles up outside, and the two stare at their plates in awkward silence.

Butcher smiles just a tad as the man can only muster a sizzle on the meat.

“See you do like it well-done, luv.”

“Gives it some flavor… you forgot to season it.”

“Butter and salt is enough.”

“Your people colonized the whole world for spices—

“Shut up and eat your steak!”

Homelander smiles, chewing loudly as Butcher wishes he’ll go back to being silent.

#butchlander #homelander #billy butcher #cozy corner domaystic #my fic tag #personal

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jooniperbonsai · 6 months

Text

Thanks for the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Three

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 14.9k

Release date: March 24, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: Now that Seokjin has agreed to come over and help you practice for your streams, you find there's a lot more you want to do with him than actually prepare for this stream.

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety and panic attacks HEAVILY referenced in this chapter, familial verbal and emotional abuse that might be triggering to some (slamming of doors, manipulative behaviors), references to puberty, implied chubby/fat reader, references to disordered eating (not main characters), references to oral (f), mention of sub drop, Seokjin is STRONG and the king of consent, lots of little domestic moments idk let's hope I didn't forget anything

a/n: Ahh finally, I'm so sorry it took so long to get to you. I have been very busy in my little corner of reality so I haven't had a chance to really dive back in for a while. I hope you enjoy more of the backstory to the characters in this one, I found pulling away from the spicy bits a little necessary so I could learn more about my characters as they grow.

I'll be in South Korea these next few weeks for my birthday, so I might be mostly offline but I'll enjoy looking at your comments, tags, questions, etc, while I'm away! Thanks for your patience. Enjoy! -h

This, she thinks, is goodbye. Her body sprawled in the silk sheets of August’s chamber, head thrust back onto the plush pillows. Never again in her life did she think she would see the dark beams of his ceiling again, yet now, her legs bent and open for him, his lips eagerly suckling her inner thigh, she couldn’t imagine life any other way.

How many times had she counted each knot in the wood above her, her eyes tracing the swirl and swell of the grain while August swirled the swell of her sex? Perfectly matched in this way, as if he were reading her like a map he’d crafted himself. He knew her. Knew all of her, how the heady moan leaving her throat now was a sign she was becoming impatient with his thorough ministrations.

She dared to risk a glance down, only to see him watching her intently, devilishly choosing that moment to latch himself onto her, a wicked smirk flashing across his face as she elicited a hearty gasp.

“August,” she breathed, instinctively tangling her fingers through his newly-raven hair, dyed dark now to comply with his family’s request. While his once-bleached locks were the definite sign of his rebellion, a sign that he would fight against the ruling state and their convoluted and asinine laws that prevented royalty from marrying a commoner, she admitted his natural hair suited him more. He looked less harsh this way, his delicate skin creamy and soft as she skimmed her fingertips across his cheek.

“No,” he breathed into her sex, sending a delightful shiver down her spine.

Something about the glint in his eye as he feasted upon her spelled out more than simple lust. No, she forbade herself to think that this was more than a parting gift, a transaction before she would be cast aside for his betrothed.

“Please,” she begged, though she knew she was asking for many things in that request. Please end the hunger between her legs, please end his engagement. Please take her to bed tonight and tomorrow and every night after. Please love me.

“Say my name,” he growled, sitting up to wipe his mouth with the back of his robe sleeve.

“August,” she called but he only chuckled darkly, the cool blue of the fabric cascading around him.

She felt so exposed. Here she was, completely naked, and yet he hadn’t even begun to undress. It felt cold, final, and sickening. Her eyes roved his body, looking for more skin, anything to keep her close to him at this moment, but he was so carefully tucked away.

“August,” she said again and he shook his head.

“That’s not my name,” he argued.

Her eyebrows knit together, and she reached forward, needing now more than ever to touch him. She was drowning fast in the night, the blue robes sweeping over both their bodies as he leaned closer, finally letting her grip his forearm as she groped around. He was drifting from her in one way or another, his body a boat on the water that was capsizing her under his waves.

“I–I can’t. I can’t see you. I–.” A rush of white hot panic surged into her throat, constricting her words. As she began drowning, August moved quickly, disrobing himself and pulling her into his embrace. She gasped for air as she wrenched out a heavy sob, her nipples stroking the soft hairs on his chest, yet she ignored the sensation instead for the thing she needed more: his heartbeat.

There, in his chest, was the melodic thrum that sought to calm her erratic one, calling her home to him in the cold night air.

“Breathe, Petal,” he commanded, and she felt a rush of air fall from her lungs as she remembered once more to do the most simple of human tendencies. His arms laced around her back, where the soft tracing of his fingers along her spine brought her back into herself.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, a prick of tears falling despite her best efforts to appear unaffected.

He hummed in response.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, and she felt her joints loosen as she molded herself further into his embrace.

“I want to,” she replied, voice unsteady. “Sugar, please just hold me.”

He melted into her, a pool of warmth overtaking him as he absorbed her nickname. He kissed her forehead, her temples, everywhere his mouth could spread some of the sweetness.

After long, she hummed a satisfied sound through her lips, and her hips began rocking against him. He laid her back down, his eyes searching hers before the corner of his mouth ticked into a smirk.

“You with me?” he asked, his smirk becoming a full grin as she bucked further toward him, desperate and wanting. He was back, the ever-changing prince who within a blink of an eye could transform the room into his sensual paradise.

August’s hand skimmed up her calf and back between her thighs, resting up against her heat.

“August,” she panted, and he chuckled darkly, the scar over his eye almost glowing in the moonlight.

“I told you that’s not my name,” he warned, sliding his fingers into her wet folds.

“Seokjin,” you said, his name caught in your throat as he continued moving.

“Good girl,” he coaxed, two of his fingers covering the edges of your clit as he began rolling it under his touch.

“Fuck.”

The wooden beams were gone. Now it was the familiar white plaster that you often looked at, trying to remember what constellations were above during what season, though you could never see the stars anyway in this part of the city.

Seokjin pulled himself up off the chamber bed, though the chamber was hazy, almost pixelated as you realized around you it was not the chamber of August and his beloved, but your small bedroom.

“Focus,” he commanded, and your eyes flashed over to Seokjin, who was naked and sweaty, his chest flush like it was when you’d seen him before. His fingers roamed over your calf and he lifted you leg at an angle, exposing your pussy to the cool air.

Seokjin licked his lips and began swirling his fingers around your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

“You gonna be good for me?” he asked and you moaned an affirmative as you felt the first of his fingers tip into you.

“Nuh uh, use your words, Y/N.”

You opened your mouth to beg but found no words could come out. He cocked his head, confused. Seokjin reached over to touch your face. You felt nothing.

“What–”

The plop of the book hitting the floor jars you awake. At some point in reading, you must’ve dozed off, your world and the book world merging into a hot, overwhelming dream that has your heart racing.

He’s in your mind again, Seokjin. And it really is all your fault. Because you’ve spent the rest of your weekend and the first half of this week texting him with a plan to put this After Dark stream into place, an idea that you hadn’t really thought through before proposing to him.

You know you want this, to feel at ease in your body and confident to hold your own on streams. Especially since the option to quit is becoming less and less of an option. This week, your university confirmed your withdrawal, meaning that for the next few months you’ll be focusing on streaming and working more shifts at the restaurant to try and replenish your income for the summer term.

And that also means you’ll be seeing Seokjin a lot more often. Your stomach does a tiny flip just thinking about it.

Now with him being around you everywhere, all the time, your subconscious has been drifting to dreams of him, and every waking thought is somehow finding a way to wiggle him in. At the market this morning, you were walking through the produce section where you noticed a large pile of mangoes on sale. Does Seokjin like mangoes? you’d wondered. That shirt on the mannequin would look good on Seokjin. That dog looks like the one in the old picture in Seokjin’s office. What would Seokjin think about this recurring ad?

It’s becoming relentless. So much so that you also find yourself asking him random questions to take the edge off.

Me 1:47PM: Thoughts about fruit on pizza.

Seokjin 1:50PM: Are you asking because we are having pizza later?

Me 1:51PM: No I was just wondering

Me 1:51PM: Unless you want that later? I can get us some

Me 1:51PM: I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:51PM: No you will not! I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:53PM: Also depends on the kind of fruit

Seokjin 1:53PM: Never had blueberries on pizza.

Seokjin 1:54PM: But I would maybe try it. Pineapple is fine though.

Seokjin 1:55PM: I’ll pick up the pizza on the way over. Be there at 6.

Seokjin agreed to stop by today to do some roleplay exercises for you to practice before your stream later tonight. He thought it was important that you run through the full scale of situations you might be presented with so you could say no firmly but without risking losing your viewership, two things equally at odds with each other for you most of the time.

You look for your phone in the mess of your couch cushions, assuming that at some point in your impromptu nap, it slunk down between the crack. Sure enough, you find it nestled between two cushions, the comfort of its weight in your hand dismissing some of the panic when you see it’s only 4:30. He hasn’t texted, which means he hasn’t canceled.

You remember from his stream last week that he maintains a tempered persona, never giving too much or too little away to his viewers. He’d exuded such self control. Is he always like that?

You know he mostly keeps it together at work, but that amount of restraint shocks you. You’re always wondering what it is that will make him snap. Sure, you’ve seen him annoyed, or occasionally yelling at your coworkers, but never rageful. Never out of control. That just isn’t Seokjin.

Determined to keep your hands busy while you wait for him to arrive, you busy yourself tidying, though your apartment is scarily clear because you’ve been frantically cleaning all day. You walk into the kitchen, a small, narrow room that has never been very welcoming as a cooking space. Your old, banged up fridge has dents from where the door has opened too quickly and rocketed into the oven handle, leaving a jagged, metal scar on the surface.

When you’d first moved in, you didn’t understand how something could be so damaged, but within the first week, it became apparent how heavy and quickly the door swung into it, probably because the floors, and thus everything else, doesn’t sit exactly level in the space, meaning that everything that you bake comes out at an angle, and everything else always falls to one side of the pan, making things uneven. Every time you use your rolling pin, you have to place it on an oven mitt or else you risk it rolling into the large gap between the countertop and the wall.

Your apartment is one that you’ve done your best to uplift. While your kitchen is somewhat of a hellhole, with a buzzing fluorescent light that sounds almost like it’s mocking you when you dare to cook anything in it, the rest of your space has some sense of charm to it.

There’s a large window facing the back parking lot of the building, which some may find less exciting because it isn’t exuding some Instagram-worthy backdrop of urban living, but you benefit from the fact that there’s a large, undeveloped lot in your view, with some plum trees that will bloom in the next few weeks, and the soft chartreuse green that ushers in the early spring grasses is slowly starting to brighten in hue.

Some summer nights, you crack your window and hear the loud chattering of cicadas and birds as they rustle through the trees, and it helps to distract from the usual traffic noises that ricochet off the other buildings around you.

You have some small herbs growing on the windowsill, as well as some salvaged green onion ends you’d tossed into an empty yogurt pot with soil and let take off. A sad excuse for a dining table is propped against it with two mismatched chairs.

An oversized, well-loved, brown couch you got for a steal from one of those local posting groups takes up a large chunk of your living room, which will probably have to be sawed in half to get out of your space if you ever move. It weighs a ton and you can’t even shuffle it into a better angle toward your television, which has resulted in one side of the couch being further worn-down and frumpy from the creases of you sitting in the same spot day after day. The other side usually houses a variety of character plushies and a large pink knit blanket you swaddle yourself in regularly. Today, everything is given a place, and the blanket is folded and resting on the back of the couch.

The rest of your apartment is a collection of stuff: some mismatched bookshelves shoved into one corner with all your smutty reads and figurines, postcards and repurposed mailers you’ve collaged into some type of wall art, and Barry, your Big Mouth Bass that knows one song and one song only: “Take Me to the River”.

Due to your lack of space in your cozy apartment, your desk and gaming set-up are in your room. During streams, you tote out a collapsible green screen to give yourself at least some privacy, but behind the screen is your bed you’ve cluttered with some throw pillows, a dresser whose drawers are so warped they don’t fully close, the nightstand which hides your collection of sex toys, and that’s about it. As the months have progressed, your schoolwork has moved from being the main event on the desk to now being crammed into the shallow drawers beneath. Beyond that, your PC and streaming supplies take up the rest of the space in your room.

After fussing with everything for a whole ten minutes, you retreat from your bedroom, heading into the hellscape kitchen to stare at the groceries you’ve just bought.

A jar of kimchi, some beets, and a comically large bag of carrots you impulse bought greet you. You sigh. Yes, this is what you’ll have to do to make time pass. Pulling the items from the fridge, you shuffle around to gather your cutting board from its slot next to the microwave, and find your good knife set in the drawer.

One of the conditions you were given upon being hired at the restaurant was to purchase your own set of knives. “It teaches you how to respect the tools before you. Having pride in your knives ensures you’ll serve food with pride,” Mr. Kim had told you.

When you shared that knowledge with Seokjin he snorted. “It ensures you’ll not damage our own knives that he’s too cheap to replace is what he means.”

Regardless, you now own a decent quality set of cutting knives, perfect for what you need them for. You scrub and lightly peel the carrots to trim away the dirt and uneven shapes adorning the outside.

Then, you begin your setup, placing your cutting board with a kitchen towel near the end to catch any rollaway carrots you’re bound to encounter during your task. You snag a large bowl, a rubber jar grip to keep the cutting board in place, and your Chef’s knife from your knife set. You chop up the kimchi and beets, doing a tiny bit of prep by cutting those for later in the week. Then, you begin with the carrots.

You pull from the washed pile and grip your knife, and remember what Seokjin taught you: cut the rounded edge off the carrot so it sits flat on the board. You slice again, then again, stacking the pieces before cutting in the next direction until a pile of neat matchsticks lay before you.

No chaos erupting in the kitchen, no pieces flinging to the floor or a semi-concussion. Just you, the yellow glow of the humming light, and your carrots. You begin the next one. Then again. It’s almost addicting, like the affirmation that you are capable of this, of anything, has started to warm something inside of you.

When was the last time you felt this confident and assured? Felt like you were growing in the right direction? In school, you were used to doing fairly well and understanding the material, but this is different somehow. This is you seeing the results as they pile higher into the bowl. You reach for another and another, washing the rest of the carrots and scrubbing them before continuing. Your hands are now properly stained, the beet juice, gochugaru, and carrot juice making your hands look like you are bleeding, but you don’t care. The ache from your grip, the loud thumping at the door, they don’t mean anything in this moment when it’s you feeling the give of the vegetable as it splits into finer pieces.

“Y/N?!! HELLO ARE YOU OKAY?”

A familiar voice bellows from the hall, another sharp thunk hitting the metal door. Seokjin.

Your eyes rip to the clock on the oven. It’s already five minutes past six. You’ve been cutting carrots for about an hour.

Hastily, you rinse your hands, ignoring the sting as the cold water spurts from the faucet. You grab the kitchen towel off the oven handle, and rush to the door.

You barely have it unlocked before Seokjin barges in, two large pizza boxes and a six pack of beer in his hands as he steps over the threshold. He smells faintly of mint and eucalyptus.

Seokjin whips in your direction, scanning his eyes over your face and down your body.

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” His eyes are wide, his pupils blown out as he fervently looks you up and down, gasping as he takes in your hands. “What happened?”

“What? No, no I’m fine!” You hold one hand up in his direction, taking the kitchen towel and rubbing it into your palm for good measure. “They’re stained. Um, I was cutting vegetables.”

His eyes flit to the direction of the kitchen, where the light is still on and buzzing, and you can just make out the chopping board on the counter. Now assured you’re not injured, Seokjin recovers, stepping out of his shoes and padding into the kitchen.

“Whoa, you really were going to town in here with the carrots weren’t you? I thought I could smell it on you.”

Your cheeks flood with heat. “Well, you said I had to practice.”

Seokjin chuckles, shaking his head in amusement before holding up the six pack. “Uh, I brought beer. I don’t know if you like it or not but I feel like it goes really well with pizza.”

You smile. “I’m not sure if getting me wasted is the solution to setting boundaries with my stream. Doesn’t alcohol lower your inhibitions?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Are you planning on finishing off this entire six pack by yourself and getting trashed? Much less beer that is…” He squints at the packaging. “...four percent alcohol?”

You laugh. “No, I suppose not. Thank you.” You take the case from his hands and pluck two bottles from the cardboard before putting the rest in the fridge. Holding the cold bottle in your hands, you grimace.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like this brand?” Seokjin asks.

You shake your head. “No, it’s not that. Um, I don’t really drink often so I don’t actually own a bottle opener.”

Seokjin frowns and looks around your kitchen, grazing his hand along the chipped laminate counters. Then he takes the bottle in his hand and whacks it down on the counter edge on an angle. The cap pops off, a subtle wisp of fog puffing from the top. He smirks, proud. He gestures for you to hand him your bottle.

With ease, he pops off the second cap and deposits it back into your hands.

Your jaw hangs slack. “Wh-how did you do that?” you ask.

He chuckles. “There’s a science to it, angles. I’m just glad I didn’t take a chunk of the counter with me. I’ve done that before.”

“And you risked my counter top just now?”

He snorts. “Come on, did anything happen? A little bit of trust would be nice, Y/N.” He glances at the giant bowl of cut carrots. “Well, you’ve certainly improved. What are you going to make with all those?”

You pull your lips into a thin line. You hadn’t thought about it. Your silence seems to tip Seokjin off to that as well, because after a sip of beer, he sets his bottle on the back end of the counter, rolling up his sleeves and scooting over to the sink to wash his hands.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Cooking,” he replies simply. “Do you have flour? Green onions?”

You nod. “Okay, get those. I’ll also need some soybean paste if you have it, vegetable oil, salt, and sugar.”

You furrow your brows. You know this recipe from the restaurant. “You’re making jeon? But, we already have pizza.”

“We can have the pizza as an appetizer. Jeon will be the main course.”

You laugh. “How much do you think I eat?”

“Not much. But you see, I am very hungry.” Heat shoots to your core. You glance over at Seokjin, who is looking at you amused as he squeezes the carrots between his hands to wring out the excess juice.

You didn’t really notice before, but Seokjin looks effortlessly cool, a loose pink linen button down framing his broad shoulders. He’s left the top two buttons undone, exposing the white t-shirt he wears underneath. Lighter wash jeans cover his strong thighs. If a stranger ever passed him on the street, they might think he’s too cool for them, too serious or vain.

But, there are notes of him everywhere in this outfit that suggests the break in the persona. One of the buttons in the middle of his shirt has popped open, a few hairs on the back of his head are cowlicked out of place, and on his feet are a pair of neon green Chikorita Pokemon socks. You find it impossible to hide your amusement.

“Ah, got it. Nice socks by the way,” you joke, trying to distract from the singing heat and close proximity. You can’t help but think about the last time you and Seokjin were in such confined spaces and how that ended up. “Didn’t know you were going to use your feet later to guide an airplane into landing.”

“Well, I figured it was a necessary backup in case your hands weren’t bright enough.” He nods toward you. You laugh.

“Touché.”

You open your upper cabinet. The paper bag of flour sits on the middle shelf, which you usually climb onto the counter to reach, but with Seokjin in the kitchen, there’s even less space than usual. You stretch, lifting onto your tiptoes. Your fingertips brush the bag, but it’s not enough to move it. As you try to angle yourself better, you see two large hands come above yours, Seokjin easily grabbing the flour off the shelf to set down onto the counter.

You feel his body heat behind you, his shirt brushing the small of your back from where your own rode up during your stretch, and a swell of goosebumps rise on your arms from the gentle tickle.

“There,” Seokjin says softly into your ear, almost breathless. “Don’t want to have any more kitchen related incidents, do we?” Too soon, he moves away, his warmth, the subtle note of his cologne fading into the smell of the green onions he’s set next to your not-so-glorious prep space.

Suddenly, he scoffs. You turn toward him. “What?”

“Really, Y/N? Have you learned nothing?” The heat in your core immediately dissipates, welcoming a familiar sour stroke of shame as you try to put together what you’ve missed. How did you fuck this up? What haven’t you learned? When you focus on what he’s pointing at, you realize he isn’t angry. He’s teasing you.

Your knife is unsheathed on the cutting board, abandoned in your haste to let him in. “When are you ever going to learn basic kitchen safety?” he laughs. The prick of embarrassment dissolves, Seokjin’s laugh soothing the ache.

You smile and shrug. “In my defense, I didn’t have the time to put it away or in the sink because you were disturbing the peace by practically breaking my door down.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Well excuse me for wanting to ensure your safety. Now where’s that soybean paste?”

Seokjin had been sitting on, or practically in your couch for the last twenty minutes as you ran through various scenarios and questions you were likely to experience while streaming. Your old couch was comfy, but as you’d practiced longer, he felt he was shrinking, the cushions settling further and further down. That, he thought, was probably going to hurt to climb out when the time came.

Despite the size and outdated condition your apartment was in, he was fascinated with how you’d chosen to decorate it, as if everything had its own place. You had an impressive collection of colorful books on a bookshelf, framed in with little knick-knacks and figurines of your favorite characters or collectibles. One large sunny window was decorated with stickers that acted as prisms, sending rainbow beams across your floor at a certain point in the day. A photo of a very young you and two people he assumed were your parents leaning against a guard rail over a canyon was framed and hung next to a giant plastic fish.

No, you didn’t have much. It was clear you’d thrifted or trash picked most of the furniture in your apartment, with the exception of your computer setup. You’d taken him into your bedroom to show him what system you used, how you’d built your system based on the specifications of your mod, who Seokjin now knew, was also your best friend Wonwoo.

But Seokjin couldn’t help but revel in how well cared for and cozy this small place was, so different from the cold floors of his own apartment. It reminded him of the tiny place he used to live in with his parents. It was familiar, safe.

When he’d come in, he did worry something was wrong. You weren’t one to not answer, attentive in the restaurant to everyone, often whipping your head in someone’s direction the second you heard the first sound of your name slip through someone’s lips. When you didn’t answer, he’d wondered if you’d been injured or worse. As much as he tried not to judge your building, he was a little concerned about the safety precautions put in place. He’d walked straight in, no lock on the front door, no door man. Everyone’s names were blatantly listed on their mailboxes. If anyone wanted to find you, it wouldn’t be hard to do so.

But you were fine, and the acrid worry that had bloomed in him during those five minutes of you not answering had dissolved once he saw your bright smile, and the even brighter colored stains on your hands.

They were still blotchy, though a few runs under the sink with dish soap was helping them fade. As you feathered a hand through your hair, he found himself grinning. The fact that you had acquired a bulk bag of carrots and used them for practice was so endearing to him. He never doubted your dedication to work, but the fact that you were using the techniques he taught you in your kitchen had brightened something in Seokjin he hadn’t even known felt dark.

And he also couldn’t ignore the sense of pride he had as you practically moaned into the jeon you two had made together, the crispy texture and roll of hot oil over your tongue invoking something in you Seokjin couldn’t help but be drawn to. You loved to eat. It was one of the first things he noticed about you, and as creepy as it sounded, also what stoked those first wisps of attraction.

You loved food the way he did, without care, or at least without care the way most people who he was raised around cared. No, you didn’t eat a lot, but when you did, you were all in, bare hands sticky after eating peaches, their juice dribbling down your chin and forearms, joyful hums when you bit into your favorite crunchy snacks from the convenience store.

He remembered growing up the ways in which women, even his mother, were almost afraid of food, afraid of how they would spend hours in the kitchen making heaps of it, pounds of fresh kimchi, grilled fish, decadent soups with tofu and mushrooms and packets of ramyeon, and yet when it was time to eat, they were too busy too or suddenly not hungry, or they would eat a few bites and excuse themselves from the table to clean up.

It was sad, really. Because Seokjin ate and ate fully, and maybe because he wasn’t a woman he didn’t need to worry about his body that way, or maybe because he always had some insane metabolism that didn’t impose weight like it did with others, but it never hit him the same. He loved food.

And clearly so did you, delighted in the meal he gave you, even eliciting a groan as you washed down a bite with your beer. It was like you were grateful for every bite of food that ever entered your mouth.

“You were right. This does taste better together,” you said. He was practically beaming.

He glanced down at the pile of jeon. They weren’t bad, but they were a little uneven. While cooking, he’d noticed that something was a bit off about your kitchen. Your oven and everything else were a bit titled, and it pooled the jeon batter toward one end, making them thicker on one side and harder to cook properly. Your fridge door also was dented, having the similar issue of the weight pushing things to one side. He made a mental note to shove some cardboard under the floor pegs later to help level the appliances.

Your counter situation, though, he couldn’t help. You would just have to keep with your barricade at the end to avoid rolling. But you seemed to be savvy in how you solved the various erroneous features of your apartment, making the best of what you had.

In fact, as Seokjin sat in the crook of your massive couch, he noticed why this side was so sunken; it was the only spot you could actually see the TV from this angle. He wondered if he could shuffle it a little bit more in a better view while you were streaming later, or if you would even notice.

You hovered next to the couch, your bottom lip worried between your teeth. You were nervous about something.

“What is it?” He asked. The time for your stream was growing nearer, and he’d promised he would stay for at least the first half, setting up his laptop in your living room.

“What am I doing?” you groaned and flopped down on the floor, a frustrated wail muffling into the carpet.

“Testing yourself and growing. Listen, Y/N, you know you don’t have to do this, but we’ve been over it daily at this point. You want more money and this is what you’ve decided is the most viable option. After-Dark type streams do make a lot more money, you want to exercise more freedom with yourself, do I need to go on?”

You shook your head. Seokjin chuckled.

“Okay, so–yah, sit up!” You bolted off the carpet and folded your legs underneath you.

“So, you know I’m going to be out here if you need anything. If you need me, I’m just on the other side of that door. Also, we’ve been practicing, right?”

“I know, I just…I’m not like you. I’m not confident, I’m not really easygoing or likable like you are. I can’t dom–command a room or everyone’s attention with my charisma how you can. I’m worried that if I don’t give people what they ask for, they’re just going to leave.”

Seokjin scoffed. He knew that on the outside, in the context of work that you were used to seeing him in, he appeared in charge and control at all times. It was part of the job, to be well tempered and fair and even, maintain a sense of friendliness but firmness, it was common sense. But much of his advice today wasn’t coming from that version of him you knew. A lot of this was insight and experience he’d gained as Jin, who he needed to be to ensure he was meeting his tip goals, or needing to remind everyone he was the one in charge, not them.

Even at work last week, when Seokjin needed to call the distributor because there was some issue with a shipment of produce, it was Jin he was channeling to make the call. If it were Seokjin, he would have been a sweaty, nervous mess. Jin was business, Jin was the one who laid down the law. Seokjin himself?

He was the youngest Kim son, the one who, when his parents’ friends and family members thought he wasn’t listening, gossiped about. Why wasn’t he married? Didn’t he have that fiancée for a while? Oh she had a baby with another man? His boss? Well surely that has been long enough now, right? He had another girlfriend, or found some other salaryman career. At 30, it would be kind of sad if his life wasn’t going anywhere.

And that’s where Seokjin was, after all. Single, a sex worker, or temporary restaurant manager. This morning he’d received a text in the family group chat from his brother with a photo of his nephew kissing his sister-in-law’s bump. He loved his nephew, he loved his brother and was happy for their little family. But he also felt hollow as he opened that picture, like some part of him knew he was never going to truly get to have that for himself.

“Hey,” he said, and your eyes flitted from the floor back to him. “First of all, if they leave they leave, right? Those aren’t the people you want to be on your streams because their energy sucks and they’ll just keep asking more of you. Second,” he cleared his throat, “you are likable. Otherwise you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place, having viewers and subscribers. There has to be a part of you that is genuine there, otherwise everyone will know you’re lying and move away from you. Don’t they say something about how all the best lies are rooted in truth?”

“But I’m not trying to lie to them,” you said meekly.

Seokjin internally kicked himself for saying that. Perhaps suggesting that you lie to everyone wasn��t the best move.

“I know, I mean, that you don’t offer all of yourself, but offer the parts of you that you know are there that are stable. And for the rest of it, fake it until you make it. Until you can feel confident as a streamer, able to set boundaries. Pretend you’re someone else. The person you want to be.” he amended.

Jin was some of the best parts of Seokjin. Maybe even better. Self-assured, knowledgeable about sex and sexuality in ways he hadn’t been when he was with Soon Yi, he could say no to things he’d never been able to say no to his boss about, and things he couldn’t say no to now because the restaurant wasn’t technically his. There were things he could do, ways he could slip some power in there or make decisions, but nothing was really his. Not the way streaming was. That was all for him. And while yes, his friends knew he did it and supported him in their own way (thankfully most of them did not tune in but on occasion Jungkook and Taehyung would hop on when completely wasted to goad him to “release the beast”), it was still a success that couldn’t be shared publicly, even though he didn’t really want to share it anyway, and didn’t really feel successful.

“Is that what you did? Faked it until you made it? Until you were the person you wanted to be?”

His blood ran cold. Were you reading his thoughts? Did you know?

“W-what?”

Oh god, what if you knew? Seokjin would rush out into the night and dig his own grave. Because if anyone else knew what he did, if his parents found out or his brother or you, he was sure he would become the worst parts of himself. A failure again. Once more someone to be quietly gossiped about in rooms when he was in full range of hearing what they had to say. He couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating than you seeing him, your own boss, with a bright pink dildo shoved up his ass as he pandered to thousands of people with whimpers and cries. Especially when he just spent the better half of an hour telling you that you didn’t need to pander to anyone.

Would you think less of him for it? Would you ask him why he was doing gay streaming of all things? His face flushed, probably turning incredibly red with embarrassment.

“With the restaurant,” you said.

He swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat and coughed.

“Y-yes,” he stammered. “What you see there. It’s not really me all the time. I’m not always all that confident. But I want to be.”

You nodded quietly and stretched your arms over your head. “That makes sense,” you said as you began to pace. “Okay.”

You still had another two hours before your stream was set to start, and Seokjin could tell you were still on edge. He took a deep breath when you turned away, letting the rush of air into his lungs help cool his face.

“Seokjin?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay until it’s over? I know it’ll be late, and it’s a big ask, but maybe we can eat leftover pizza and debrief?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

He couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his night, and probably early morning if he was honest. Your streams could go well into the wee hours of the morning, and while tomorrow while opening he’d probably be kicking himself for this, right now he didn’t care about anything except the warm tug he felt in his chest as he imagined the two of you sitting on the floor with cold pizza and laughter at 3a.m.

“Thank you. Also, do you think we could have another beer or something? I need to take the edge off. I know I’m overthinking it but I need something to distract me before this stream or I might not show up.”

You didn’t wait for his permission, probably because you weren’t asking for it. You slid into the kitchen and back out with two more cold beers.

“Will you show me how to open these again? I want to try.”

Seokjin struggled a bit against the dip of your couch, but eventually found himself level and close to you, so close in fact that the soft scent of your shampoo was once again permeating his nostrils.

You were intoxicating to him, honestly, and he found himself unable to help himself as he squeezed behind you in your tiny kitchen, inhaling partially into your hair as he walked you through the process.

You fiddled with the bottle for a second, holding yourself at an awkward angle.

“Like this?”

If you did it at this angle, you would be sure to cause the beer to explode, the cap wouldn’t get enough traction to pop off easily.

“Not unless you want to participate in a wet t-shirt contest,” he joked before he even realized how sexually charged that comment was.

You inhaled a little sharply.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, you’re a little stiff here.” Then, very carefully, he rested his hands onto your hips, gently maneuvering you so you were able to prop your arm up and out of his way so you wouldn’t elbow him in the ribs when you slammed the bottle down.

He kind of hated himself when he had to let go of your waist. His fingers were tingling simply from brushing them along the seam of your shirt, from feeling the warm curve of your hip under his fingers. Why did his hands feel so at home on your body?

Your sharp movement pushed him out of his reverie as you launched the bottle down onto the counter top, the soft plink and your sparkling eyes confirming you were successful.

That’s my girl, he thought. Only you weren’t his girl. You couldn’t be further from his. And as soon as he thought it, he also felt the soft ache in his chest knowing that you would probably never be his. Because you couldn’t. Because you were without a doubt too good for him, and Seokjin knew all that stood between you and the right guy was time. An opportunity. You walk into the right place some day and then boom, there he will be.

He fucking hated that guy already.

You popped the second cap from the bottle and turned around, shoving your body directly into him as you beamed with pride. “See! I did it!” You looked so adorable, your eyelashes long and fluttering as you gazed up at him.

A smile cracked through his gloom. You were like a little sunbeam to him.

“You did,” he acknowledged, and he took the bottle you offered, taking a swig. He waited for you to make the next move, to dislodge your body from the cramped corner of the kitchen, for the magnetic pull of your body to signal it was too close, too intimate so one of you would break away.

But neither of you did. In fact you sighed and moved closer to him, forcing the small of Seokjin’s back to rest up against the handle bar of the oven. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but he didn’t dare move.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked quietly after a while, staring down at the bottle.

“Sure,” he responded.

You nibbled your bottom lip then sighed again, unsure. He felt your warm exhale hit his forearms. Did you really not realize how close you were to him? The smell of you, even that tiny hit of beer breath, was starting to drive him insane.

You shifted yourself even closer.

“Um, it’s going to sound embarrassing to ask this but I just have to.”

Your voice was low now, a tiny whisper coming out of you. Fuck, you were perfect.

“Go ahead,” he whispered back, smirking. “I won’t judge you.”

“Okay, um. Are you…are you bi?”

“Am I by what?”

You fidgeted uncomfortably and pulled back slightly. You raised your eyebrows.

“No, not by as in near, I mean bi as in like, you know, bisexual?” You shifted your gaze away, and then Seokjin felt the question sink in.

He was such a fucking idiot.

God, this is one of the most awkward interactions you’ve ever had in your life and you feel yourself getting hotter and more embarrassed by the second.

Standing in your tiny cramped kitchen, you decided now for no good reason was the best time to ask Seokjin if he’s bisexual. Or really if he’s gay. Because you need to know. Need answers. Or a confirmation that will help kill this crush for good because as of tonight? It’s much, much worse.

Something about watching him cook earlier, specifically in your kitchen, did something to you. The way he touched your hips to show you how to do that beer opening trick, how he looked slumped into your couch, the way he hovered over your bookshelves and belongings with curiosity, and laughed hysterically over Barry once he pressed the button.

He fits here. In your apartment. It isn’t just some stupid fantasy version of him you could imagine. He is real and beautiful and fits into this corner of your life like a perfect puzzle piece.

And if he’s gay, if there’s no chance that he can give you even the fantasy of this, then it all needs to stop. But it’s also so unfair for you to ask this of him. What if he’s not out? What if you’re forcing him to come out and no one knows and all because your insatiable horniness led you to a gay streaming site where you found him now his livelihood and privacy are technically in jeopardy?

Fuck. You can’t do that to him. And suddenly you’re aware of what you just did, how uncool this was for you to just out and ask. Heat claws into your throat as you sit in this shock of silence, clamping down on your airway and leaving your voice in a reedy wheeze as you try to take back your inquiry.

“I–I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer! I’m out of line. Really, I shouldn’t have even asked. Jesus, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you splutter, heart beating erratically, a line of perspiration beginning to form at the back of your neck at an insane speed. How humiliating.

“Whoa, whoa, it’s okay. Relax. Breathe,” Seokjin says. You force a ragged inhale but find yourself coughing, gasping to try to find air in this room that is too small and a million degrees warmer.

You are standing in the hallway outside of the bathroom, rasping for air into your lungs. Your mother has just come home from work, shouting about how you haven’t remembered to take the chicken out of the freezer or done any of the chores she’d asked you to while she was gone.

The day has gotten away from you, a hot summer that is so oppressive no one even wants to go outside. You would get all she asked of you done and more before she returned home. The chicken would be thawed, you’d vacuum and mop the floors, would even wipe down the bathroom sink from all the hair she and your father left in it during his morning shave.

And then you would go to your friend’s house tonight, for the sleepover you’ve been dreaming of, eat lots of candy that her father would bring home from work that yours never let you have. You could tell her about the boy whose parents own the convenience store at the end of the street, and how all summer you’ve been finding an excuse to run up to the shop with your allowance to get a pack of gum or snacks or a can of iced tea you would have to chug outside before you even walked home anyway.

You start junior high this fall. Your period started this spring. Everything around you is changing. Your legs are stocky and getting fuller. Hair is starting to grow everywhere. Your breasts are no longer flat on your chest and while you know all of this is happening, you know why and what is going to happen, that doesn’t change how awful all this feels. Your baby fat isn’t baby fat anymore, and the oils of your skin, your hair, your smell? It all is changing so fast and you hate it. You want to hide. And at least having this boy down the street to talk to, Wonwoo, who makes you feel less like you want to crawl outside of yourself.

Him, and all the books you’ve been reading. Ones where they’re older, girls who you’ll be like soon. Who go to school, and date and have families with problems just like your family has problems. Who run into the woods and fall in love with other families. Who find belonging. There’s comfort there, and that’s why despite all your promises to make the house clean for your mom this morning, you forgot. Because you’d fallen into the world of your book.

And now, your mother has told you that you can’t go to your sleepover anymore. Can’t get away from the house and the heat and your body and the ongoing argument you know your parents are having about finances that they shout about when you’re in the shower and they think you can’t hear them. You can’t eat fun secret snacks or talk about boys or pretend for a second that this isn’t your life. Because it is.

Your throat closes up, the dim lights of the hallway outside the bathroom feel like they’re flickering.

“I told you. I reminded you multiple times! Now we don’t have dinner. Unless you’d like to think of something?” She strips off her stockings, balling them up in her fist. “Unless you want to go out there and buy some expensive meal for us tonight?”

Shame. This is it in its purest form. How wrong you are for not helping. For spending the whole day in your fantasy world with your new friends, ones who aren’t real. All your mother asked for was such simple things, and yet you are unable to just do what she asks.

“When your father gets home, you can tell him why there’s no dinner ready.”

Hot tears sting your eyes and you gasp for air. Your father? If he’s having a hard day today, if his boss or his co-workers didn’t recognize him for that presentation he spent all those late nights at the dinner table preparing, you know how this will end. Your father is a fair man, but even he has his limits.

And sometimes that means that the things you love, the things that you covet, they go missing. Precious dolls that you’ve had over the years have disappeared when you were being careless with them, leaving them around in the hallway for him to step on. Once, you left your birthday gift from your aunt, a purple Skip-It, on the sidewalk during a Spring rain shower and when you went to bring it in, it had vanished.

You’d found it in the garbage bin, the ankle loop and cord snapped into pieces.

When your father gets home, he’ll go for your book. He knows just which one it is. You had started it last night and he asked you about it.

You push off the wall of the hallway, swallowing the bile down your throat. You have to hide it, to take it somewhere.

You want to leave. Your eyes dart around the room. Anywhere but here, you can’t let him see how much more embarrassing it is now that he knows you’re anxious. A lump in your throat continues to constrain the air. You can feel your pulse in it, pulling acid up from the depths of your stomach.

You rip another breath from your chest and try to propel yourself across the room, across the universe, but your feet won’t budge. Your muscles are locked in this bump of panic, leaden and unyielding.

Somewhere in the fuzziness, Seokjin has moved but already returned, and you feel a set of cool hands on your cheeks as he comes into focus, gently stroking behind your ears and saying something to you.

“–ow that it’s hard but I need you to breathe, Y/N. Breathe with me. Can you do that?”

His face is concerned, and it twists your stomach even further. He shouldn’t be doing this. You should remember how to fucking breathe on your own. But then again, isn’t that why he’s here anyway? Because you can’t do shit on your own? Can’t hold boundaries, can’t stay in school or keep it together. Can’t live somewhere nicer where you don’t smell the stomach-turning stench of the sink’s old plumbing next to you, metallic and stale. And definitely can’t even remember how to mind your business or breathe like a person.

You rush down the hall, into the living room, snapping the book off the couch. You shove it behind a cushion.

Your father walks in the door, and from the look on his face, you can tell the presentation didn’t go well.

“What’s all this?” he snaps, and gestures to the left-out vacuum and the bucket of water you’d gathered earlier. All the bubbles from the soap have long popped, leaving a heavy, sickening floral scent in the room from the solution.

“I, oh–”

“Your daughter spent all day reading instead of doing her chores. So unless you have a McDonald’s hamburger in your briefcase, we have nothing for dinner.” Your mother interjects, huffing as she heads into your parents bedroom and slams the door behind her.

Your father’s eyes narrow, and this is how it begins. He and your mother slamming, stomping, hitting, and crashing in every interaction they have with an inanimate object around you.

He chucks his suitcase onto the table of the small dining area, then whips open the fridge door a few feet away.

“Y/N, come here.”

You tiptoe in behind him, needing desperately to do the opposite of him, to show that you aren’t mad that they’re mad. That you understand exactly what you did wrong.

But it doesn’t matter, does it? They’re going to show you anyway. He moves aside and you peer into the fridge.

“What do you see in there?” he asks, restrained.

“Um, some celery, lettuce, dressing, milk…”

He growls, indicating that this isn’t the right answer. You’re wrong again. “Food, Y/N. This is food. That your mother and I work hard to put on the table so you can sit around and read your books. Food that needs to be eaten. Do you understand?”

You say nothing. You know the question is rhetorical.

“So, when we ask so little of you to simply take the food out of the freezer or fridge and thaw it, how can it be so hard? Hm? Here let me show you.”

He reaches in, and begins pulling and pulling the veggies, marinades, dressings, milk, eggs, cheeses and meats, and crowding the counter top. You’re frozen, unable to walk away, to ask him to stop.

When he’s done, he looks at you.

“See? Not so hard, huh? And if you were helpful to us, none of this would have happened. Honestly, your selfishness sometimes,” he says. “Now, go get me that book of yours. I think you know you haven’t earned it right now.”

You should go peel it out from under the couch cushions. Should hand it to him, then put all the groceries back away, because you know he’s not going to do it with you here. You should apologize. Accept punishment.

But instead, you’re nauseous and shaking and sobbing.

He waits expectedly. And then he shoves past you to your room, beginning to hunt through your clothes on the floor, under your bed.

“Where is it Y/N?”

You don’t follow him. Instead, you run. You grab the book from behind the cushion, shove your shoes onto your feet and run into the heat of the ending day with it in your hands, the heat from the sidewalk still boiling up underneath you.

Your parents don’t run out the door or into the street behind you. They stay in your home, possibly putting it back together. But you don’t care. You run, until you see the light of the convenience store and your lungs feel like they’re going to collapse.

Inside the cool air, Wonwoo is helping his father place drinks from their crates into the refrigerator. His eyes are wide as you plow in.

You have so much you want to tell him, so much worry in your chest. Your cheeks are hot and your body is sweaty. Nothing is coming out. Just the hum of the fridges, and Wonwoo’s father rushing to get his mother.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks, and you can’t do anything to answer, just stare at his soft face as you well up with tears. You shove the book toward him wordlessly.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asks again, and you inhale steeply but choke on the air. A bubble of saliva clods your tongue.

“Please, take this. Hide it,” you urge. He holds his hands out and takes the book.

“Um, okay. Tuck Everlasting, I’ve never read this one.” He looks back up at you and winces.

“Hey, hey, breathe Y/N. You need to breathe.”

Seokjin is standing in front of you, coaxing breaths from you, wasting his time after cooking you dinner like it’s something you deserve. Like you’re not just doing all of this anyway because you can’t control yourself to not have feelings for him. Tears singe your eyes and you gasp another shallow breath.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad.” Seokjin breaks through your thoughts, his voice gentle, and almost like he hears you in this silent exchange, some constant that is numbing this spiral. You feel yourself inhale a little more fully as you understand he’s not upset or annoyed. “Good, you’re doing good. Let’s breathe another breath, okay?”

You can’t look away. Even if you wanted to, Seokjin’s touch is keeping you focused completely on him, his soft and kind eyes, his plush lips that he’s holding in a slight frown that won’t shake. One that you can tell is worry.

“Another breath, sweetheart. Good, good girl. That’s really good, Y/N. Okay, keep doing that for a second okay?” One hand releases from your cheek, and you find yourself pressing harder into the other, needing him to touch you and keep guiding you back, needing that security of him.

He doesn’t move it away, in fact he pushes himself closer, holds the weight of you in his palm tenderly, and then you see in your periphery what he moved to get: a glass of water.

“I want you to take three small sips of this for me, okay? Slowly.” He holds the rim of the cup up to your lips, tilting it slightly. You open your mouth slightly, letting a trickle of cold water flood into the hot cavern of your mouth, extinguishing so much of the tight, fiery panic that moves through the rest of your body.

You do as he says, sipping and swallowing slowly until he pulls the glass away and sets it down behind you.

“You with me?” he whispers, and you breathe.

“Yes,” you say.

“Can I touch your arm?”

You’re not sure why he’s asking, so you knit your brow and gaze up at him, confused.

“What?”

“Can I touch your arm? I want to move us out of the kitchen and into your bedroom if that’s okay?” His voice is still quiet, and you realize that the hum of the light is so loud it’s almost drowning him out, almost drowning you again.

Your eyes flash wide and you nod. You see him relax a little, and slowly Seokjin untangles the web of your bodies away from the kitchen, into the cool air of your living room. Why is it so cold?

Seokjin guides you through it, and through the doorway to your bedroom. Before you even realize it, he’s unbuttoning his pink shirt and draping it over you.

“Is this okay? You’re shaking.”

You go to tell him yes, of course it’s okay, and then notice your teeth are gritted tight from trying not to chatter.

You take another breath. “Yes,” you squeak.

He pulls down the duvet and gestures for you to sit. “I’m going to put this blanket on you so I can help you warm up.” You feel the soft, heavy weight and start to feel a little better. But without Seokjin holding you, tethering you back into your body, you feel like you might float away any second. You shoot him a panicked look and he seems to understand, drawing the blanket back so he is also swaddled in it, the two of you knee to knee as he pinches the blanket closed with his fist.

“You can touch me if you’d like,” he says, and this, you realize, is what you need.

You immediately shift forward, putting your face into his white t-shirt, inhaling that minty, fresh cologne he wears. You can feel his chest rising and falling slowly, evenly, and you match your breathing to his, hoping soon your heartbeat slows to the same rate. Your hands twist into his shirt but it’s not enough. You find one of his hands and take it, lacing your fingers together and resting them in your lap.

The heaviness is nice, stabilizing, but you know you still need something more.

“Seokjin?” Your voice sounds foreign to you.

“Yeah?”

��Will you hold me for a minute?”

His hand untangles from yours and he moves to place it around your back, but with you two cross legged and facing each other, it’s an awkward embrace.

“I’m sorry, this is such a weird position. If you’re okay with it, you can sit in my lap? If you want? And then I can just hold you for a second?”

You nod and sit up, unfolding your legs and wiggling yourself up so you are on his lap. You wrap your legs around his back, then your arms. And then you feel his arms around you, his fingers lazily tracing the length of your spine.

You feel yourself sinking deeper back into the safety of your body.

You both sit like this for a long time. So long that you feel yourself starting to grow hazy and sleepy. Seokjin is warm and soft and so soothing. You feel like you’re untangling from a sharp web that has been trapping you for a long time. And when your alarm for your stream goes off, you turn off your phone.

“You okay?” Seokjin asks and you huff out a sigh.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for all the dramatics.” You slide yourself out of his grip and flop back onto your bed, propping yourself up on your elbow.

“What do you mean? You weren’t being dramatic, Y/N, you had a panic attack.”

“Yeah, over asking you a highly personal question I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for that too.”

“I’m not-it’s-look. Panic attacks aren’t ever just one thing. It’s always a compounding of stress and anxiety and other thoughts and feelings. You just came across the one thought or feeling that forced everything to collapse. And I can guess based on how much you’re apologizing, it was probably you doing that shit inside and beating yourself up that knocked all the rest of this stuff down. I told you, I’m not mad. Or insulted that you asked.”

He goes on. “Which, by the way, I’m not bi or gay. I’m very straight. But that’s not the point. The point is, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You asked me a question. I have a right to choose to answer it or not. So there’s your answer. And also, you are never dramatic to me. Panic attacks are fucking scary; you felt like you were dying, right?”

You nod. “Drowning, yeah.”

He gives you a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, those things are no joke. But you came out on the other side of it.”

“Not without your help though. You seem like you know a lot about these when they happen. Do you get them too?”

He flushes. “Uh, no, I don’t personally. My friend Yoongi has them sometimes. He taught me a lot about how to help him with them. The cold water trick really is from him. And then also when Soon Yi and I were together, she would have them, but those were a bit different.” He looks down at his hands.

Soon Yi. So that’s her. The person Seokjin has often stopped himself talking about. The one who his parents would occasionally refer to as “that woman” during shifts when he wasn’t around. No one ever said her name, almost like she was some kind of curse and you always were curious why. You assumed she must be the devil incarnate the way his mother would sling a bunch of insults after she was mentioned, but the way Seokjin now says her name so casually, so personally, you aren’t entirely sure if he sees her that way.

Parents usually carry a greater grudge than their child who was hurt. Your own father has told you on various occasions that the guy you dated for one summer in undergrad, who coincidentally is his barber’s nephew, will never be allowed in his house ever again. Forget the fact that there’s no reason he would be invited over in the first place. Whenever you’re catching up with your parents on the phone, if he has recently visited his barber, he’s sure to bring it up. “Scum is never allowed in my house! He will just drag his filth in with him!”

Thinking of your father and mother right now forces you to wince. Maybe it’s the freshness of these memories, of you realizing now that what happened to you that day as a child wasn’t you being dramatic, as they had insisted even after you’d gotten home. Everything had been put back into place when you’d returned after the sunset, even the bucket and vacuums put away. Your parents never apologized or talked about it again.

And your friend, she didn’t talk to you after that either, claiming you were flaky and rude for blowing her off.

Your father doesn’t even refer to your ex by name, similar to Seokjin’s mother. “That Woman”. “Scum”. If there was ever a name tied to these people, it’s clearly gone in the haze of whatever angry frenzy your parents carry. “Scum” also didn’t even do anything wrong. You broke things off with him, but because you came home crying after the breakup, now that is his legacy.

But Seokjin’s mother, how she behaves, you’re not sure that it’s for the same reasons. You’ve seen firsthand how much she adores her children, and “adoration” is a word you aren’t so sure applies to your family.

Soon Yi, too, it’s clear she was not just a blip on the screen in Seokjin’s life. The hushed, angry chatter between his parents, the way his mother would often get so worked up she would start punching her shoulder and clicking her tongue, saying she needed to go sit down. That’s not a Scum-level relationship. You wonder how close she was to Seokjin. Closer than you two are becoming, clearly.

“Soon Yi,” you repeat to yourself, still lost in the haze of putting things together.

“Um, my ex.” Seokjin says, and you feel heat rise in your cheeks as you realize he heard you. “We were engaged. For a while.”

“Oh.”

You want to ask how long he means by a while? Did they break up right before you joined the restaurant? Or was this from many years ago? It’s odd in a way to think of how Seokjin has lived a completely different life from the time before you knew him. He loved someone, enough to marry them, to start a life together, to know she had panic attacks and how to help her.

Did he place her in his lap the same way he did with you? Did he sit with her in the dull winter light of their bedroom and talk like this?

He had to have. Why wouldn’t he? Your stomach dips. Were you under some impression that this thing you’re experiencing–the closeness of his body, the soft thrum of his heart, that tiny whistle in his throat that breaks through the room as he speaks–would be special?

The dim light of the lamp on your bedside table makes the deep browns of his eyes look even darker, and he watches you as you stretch your legs out in front of you, your foot shifting a bit to rest up against his thigh. His eyes flicker toward it and then back to you.

“How, when did you guys break up? I didn’t know you were engaged,” you ask gently. He sighs, and then slumps a bit, the careful, rigid posture he was holding for so long finally loosening a bit with his exhale. He bends his knees and pulls his legs up, glancing to the other side of your bed.

You pat the spot next to you, turning over so he knows it’s no imposition.

And it’s not, not in the slightest. If you weren’t so fried and exhausted after that panic attack, your brain might try to imbue some innuendo into this moment, but for now, this is all you can do, and you want that ache in your stomach to go away. You want to feel like this is special.

Seokjin flops down into the pile of oddball plushies and pillows next to you and you snort, smiling as he carefully tucks the plushie he smashed in his landing into his arms.

“I’m sure my parents have talked about her enough times for you to know everything,” he scoffs.

“Not really. I didn’t know her name. I just thought she was some girlfriend you had that she hated because she was keeping you away from her. You know, the same way your mother also says that the really old lady down the road who sells flowers keeps your dad away from her.”

He smirks at this, and his fingers rove over the marble eyes of the plushie.

“My mother would blame the sun if it kept her family away from her. She’s been messaging the group chat nonstop for updates from my hyung’s wife about the pregnancy. And she’s supposed to be somewhere in Iceland right now on a cruise. Honestly I wish she would just enjoy herself.”

“Well, she cares. About you especially. Which is maybe why she didn’t air all of your business to me when I was mopping the floors and she counted down the drawers. She just would say that I would be better than “That Woman” but I think she might think anyone would be better than her.”

“She said that to you? Ugh, eomma.”

She did, one late night, when Seokjin left early for “something urgent”. His mother alleged that he was dating a secret new girlfriend that he kept under wraps.

“Honestly, he acts as if I’m going to eat her alive or something. Tsk. That son of mine, both he and his brother are going to send me to an early grave. Behind my back like this when I’m getting older by the minute. Ever since he and that woman broke up, he shut down. I tried to set him up with someone and he kept saying no! That he would find someone. But if she was any better than the others, wouldn’t he have brought her around by now,” she’d said.

She slammed some coins back into the register. You jumped at the sound.

She sighed. “You know what he needs? Someone like you. Someone with vision! That woman never had any of that. So much more focused on status. You’re not like that Y/N. I can tell. And that’s exactly why I hired you. You can’t teach someone that as an adult. They either have it or don’t, and you. You’ve got exactly it.”

You didn’t really know what “it” was, but you didn’t argue, and soon she moved on to complain about something else.

Now, knowing Seokjin’s secret, you think you know where he went that night, and it definitely wasn’t to go hide in his lover’s house. Chances were, he was streaming. And that also would explain why he shut down on her so quickly. You can’t imagine Mrs. Kim’s reaction if she found out Seokjin was a gay cam streamer. Despite being straight.

It dawns on you. You’d been so distracted with that panic attack that you forgot already that Seokjin is in fact interested in women. Solely. Enough to have been engaged to one.

“But, back to your story,” you prod, trying to distract yourself from the fact that now none of this feels like just friends sharing. Seokjin hisses in some air as if he agrees.

“Right. Well, Soon Yi and I were together really in college and on. We started dating really young. Just two kids. And then we just kind of stuck together? She and I were together for a long time before I got the nerve to propose. And then…” He trails off, his face now a deeper blush. Is he embarrassed?

You lick your lips, ready to tell him he doesn’t have to share, but he waves his hand to quiet you.

“She cheated on me. With my boss. We were in the midst of planning the wedding and everything. I was supposed to get this big promotion at the end of some large conferences. But, I don’t know. We had grown apart. Suddenly we didn’t see eye-to-eye on anything.”

Your jaw drops, caught on that larger detail. “She cheated on you with your boss? After all that time? God, Seokjin, I'm so sorry. That’s awful.”

He smiles and nods. “That’s not even the worst part,” he says. His smile grows bigger, like this is some huge joke. “She cheated on me multiple times with him while I was away. And I caught them. Uh, you know. On my dining room table when I came back early to surprise her. I did not get the promotion by the way. But, she actually has a baby, or I guess a toddler, with him now. I heard she’s pregnant again, they’re married. It’s all some surreal life. And now I’m here.”

“Um, you’re right, it was worse than that.” You’re really not sure what to say. Seokjin’s becoming harder to read by the second, turning this conversation into some big joke when it’s not really funny to you on your end. Maybe he’s processed it enough by now, but based on how tightly he’s now squeezing your alpaca plushie, you would wager that he doesn’t really find it funny either.

“Is this,” you take a breath. “Is this why the other night you said you were a failure? Because of what happened with Soon Yi?”

“Partly. I mean, it’s not like I did too great of a job keeping her satisfied. She clearly found other ways to do that.” He laughs darkly.

“That’s not how that works you know,” you say. His eyebrows lift.

“What do you mean?”

“What you just said. Keeping her satisfied. Isn’t it the job of being a human to keep ourselves satisfied? Find things with meaning and joy? It’s not your fault that she chose to do that. To cheat on you, to not be honest when she started feeling differently. She could have told you at any point. Did she?”

He sighs. “Not really, no. Soon Yi wasn’t great at communicating with me about things like that. For so long, we just knew what the other person needed. Because we’d been together since we were so young, we had come up with some other kind of language. And my friends, too, they were in on it. She was not always going to tell someone how she felt but she would show them. For Jungkook’s 21st birthday she threw him an “American Stereotype” themed birthday which he was always obsessing over from the videos. Bought a bunch of red solo cups, they played that Miley Cyrus song and bought a bunch of discounted Fourth of July partyware. She was one of us.”

Even now, despite everything, Seokjin is speaking so kindly about someone who hurt him. And honestly, it throws you. You are so used to the men you’ve been around talking so poorly of their exes that you didn’t know someone could experience such a negative thing and not immediately resort to extreme name calling.

That’s just how good Seokjin is. Enough to not be mad at you for asking questions, for panicking. Enough to speak kindly about others even if it might be eating at him.

“That doesn’t mean it was your fault though,” you stifle a yawn. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Maybe we should shelve this conversation for another time,” he says.

“No, no, I want to hear. I want to know all of it.”

“You were supposed to start your scheduled stream an hour ago.”

“Change of plans. I’m not streaming tonight.”

“Do your subs know that?”

“Don’t call them that. They’re subscribers not subs. Sub is something you do.”

Jesus. Please don’t let him cling to that. Please don’t let that give away that I know.

“Pfft. Okay, do your subscribers know you’re not streaming anymore?”

You roll your eyes, knowing he’s created this distance on purpose and now the moment has passed.

Fine, you’ll get more from him about this eventually. You need to understand how Soon Yi impacted him. You don’t really know why, but you can’t help but feel like knowing more might make you feel less uneasy about all of this. About you and Seokjin and what this could all maybe mean someday.

“I can post about it,” you say softly and he nods.

“That might be a good idea. You’ve had a big day. A big panic attack, you probably need some sleep.”

Your stomach sinks at the idea that he might leave after this, and you’re still not sure you want to be alone. You chew your lip.“What I really need is some pizza,” you say.

Seokjin smirks. “Good thing for you, I know exactly where we can find some.”

“Thank you again for the pizza,” you said, nibbling on the edge of one crust. “I didn’t think I could be that hungry after eating so much earlier.”

Seokjin took another swig of beer, shrugging. “Well, you’ve had a big day, and you burned energy and probably calories earlier.”

Your panic attack may have seemed to you like it was coming out of nowhere, but to Seokjin, it wasn’t. He had noticed your embarrassment the second after you asked him that question, saw you spiral inside yourself as you tried to huff air. He wasn’t sure what really triggered it, but he also knew he didn’t want to leave you after that.

He wasn’t unfamiliar to them. Yes, Yoongi had his share, and it took a little while to learn what ways he could be soothed. Soon Yi’s were different, though. A lot more similar to yours.

When they had started experimenting sexually, there would be times in which she would fall so quickly into panic, like she couldn’t give up control. And from that point on, sometimes she would spiral deeper, into some pit of shame where whatever they were doing, even if it wasn’t super kinky, led to these shaking, sub-drop-like breakdowns. They were more rare, but they did happen, especially earlier in their relationship.

At the time, Seokjin didn’t understand what was going on, and neither did Soon Yi. Just that she sometimes would flip on him during foreplay when he would get a little more confident and dominant, or if he started falling into a scene that she had asked them to do, using the script the way she asked, it would happen anyway. Almost like she was fighting between what she wanted and who she expected herself to be.

And that’s in a way how you seemed to be too. Maybe you weren’t like this sexually, and he would unpack that idea later. But in this intimate space of your home, it was like Seokjin was experiencing some type of whiplash as you went from being so uncomfortable about asking about his sexuality to you lying next to him in your bed talking about his ex.

He wasn’t mad, not in the slightest. He understood that especially after a panic attack, people were desperate for closeness and intimacy, and whatever reaction he had to your panic, you felt soothed and safe with him. He was being let into your world little by little, even if you were fighting yourself to let it happen.

He wanted that. He wanted this: you two eating cold pizza on the floor of your living room, you chewing happily and Seokjin warm and full of life watching you do it.

You even let him make adjustments to your space, laughing and applauding him after he ripped some of the clean cardboard from one of the pizza boxes and made shims to prop up and balance your oven and fridge. He found if he scooted the couch slightly to the left and your entertainment system got turned a few inches, you could completely see the TV from anywhere on the couch. You dove to the other side almost immediately, whooping when you realized you wouldn’t have to strain yourself to see anymore.

You were comfortable. He made you comfortable.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you said, your hand caressing over the soft roll of your stomach to demonstrate how full you were. Then, a deep burp echoed into the room. Your eyes widened. “Oh, wow, sorry. Excuse me,” you said suppressing a chuckle.

But Seokjin was already laughing, his body shaking at the sound. “So polite for someone who made that noise.”

The tenseness in your shoulders fell and you gave in, laughing next to him. “Listen! It was good, and the carbonation of the beer is making me have to burp!”

“Sure, sure. That’s what it is. You know I’ve seen those memes about how women don’t fart or burp or poop and I’m onto you! You have one strike. If you fart or shit I’m going to prove that meme false.”

You scoff, tears leaking out the side of your eyes. “Well good thing for you, I will not deny those allegations. I don’t just poop, I shit.”

Seokjin choked on his next sip of beer, spluttering some of it out of his nose. “Oh shit.” Tears flowed from his eyes from the sting, and he grasped for some napkins near the pizza.

You weren’t much better off, coughing heavily into your shirt as you tried to recover. This, this was everything he could ever want. Afterward, you both cleaned up the kitchen and pizza together, finishing off the six-pack of beer until your yawns were impossible to ignore.

“It’s really late, Y/N. You should go to sleep,” he said. He hated himself for suggesting it, almost wishing that you would extend the invitation to stay. Even then, though, he would have to decline.

“Or we could, I don’t know, play a game or something?” As you said this, you stifled another yawn.

He chuckled. You were stalling, he could tell. And he wasn’t strong enough to say no. “Hm, okay how about this. We can hang out in your room and I’ll tell you more about me. But you have to get ready for bed first, otherwise it’s no deal.”

Your eyelids were heavy, but you beamed anyway. “Yeah, okay.”

You went into your room, grabbing some clothes before shutting yourself into the bathroom to get ready. Seokjin paced your living room, scanning the book shelves, a variety of titles he’d never seen before in the stacks. But there was one, a smaller and thinner book that had more wear and tear than the rest. He slid it out carefully and held it in his hands. Tuck Everlasting, a book he’d read in elementary school about a teenager who met a family that drank from a tree’s magical spring and lived forever.

Based on your copy, he could tell it was well-loved and read many times. How old were you when you read it, he wondered. Did you want to run away into the woods like he did afterward, trying to find a magical spring of your own?

The bathroom door opened, and he carefully slotted the book back onto the shelf before turning to you. You were wearing an oversized T-shirt and some very, very short pajama shorts. Your legs looked so soft to touch. His hand twitched.

“Okay,” you said, “I’m ready.”

Seokjin wasn’t. But he followed you into the darkness of your room anyway, laid himself down next to you on the bed as you tucked yourself under the blankets. Your eyes shimmered as you looked at him, now way more awake than you had appeared just ten minutes ago.

Were you hustling him?

“You need to crawl under the blankets too. Otherwise they’ll constrict me and I will absolutely not fall asleep like you have clearly planned,” you tease.

You were hustling him. He liked it.

He chuckled and obeyed, folding back the comforter and sheets to get in. But in doing so, he revealed you with your shorts already bunched up on your thighs, exposing your lacy panties at your hip. Your shirt was riding up, and he could see a tiny bit of your stomach peeking out.

God fucking help him. He managed a deep breath, begging himself not to get hard, or for his body to at least wait until you wouldn’t see him getting hard and he was under the covers. This wasn’t the time. Not after all the emotionality of the day. But his dick didn’t know that.

Your covers smelled like you, soft and even a little sweet and you really had to be fucking with him because you shoved yourself even closer to him under the covers, so that there were just a few inches between you two. He felt your body heat radiating from you.

“There,” you sighed, and he smelled a hint of your mint toothpaste. His mouth watered. “Now, where were we?”

No, but where were you really? He didn’t remember, didn’t know where to start. And then it clicked.

“Mmm, you were going to go to sleep I think,” he said.

You frowned, your nose wrinkling. “No, that’s not true. Or it was. I’m not tired now.”

“Give it a minute, I’m sure soon your eyelids won’t be able to stay open.”

“Sure, but yours are heavy now too. So you must be tired. Now it’s a competition.” You were right. His eyelids were heavy, and he was tired. But he knew his body, especially as keyed up as he was getting, wasn’t about to let him fall asleep any time soon.

“I think I’ll win that one,” he laughed lightly.

“Doubt it,” you challenged, and you shifted your legs, now a little less comfy and more antsy. You slowly released a breath.

“Are you sure you want to do this right now?” He asked, and you didn’t hesitate to nod.

“I want to know more about you. It’s nice to put the puzzle pieces of you together in my head.” Your voice was growing husky.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” you replied. A beat passed. Neither of you moved to say anything, just looked at each other.

Shouldn’t this be awkward? Shouldn’t all of this feel wrong? Somewhere in his mind, the logical response was yes, this is weird and he should leave. But then he would be leaving you after a hard day, when you clearly were trying to avoid him leaving by going so far as to keep yourself awake to stare at him. To try to get to know him. And that’s what rooted him now. He couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Maybe you were only being needy. But he also felt needy right now. And for the moment, logic could fuck off.

So he pushed it away, letting the parts of him he liked most bubble to the surface, the parts that led without overthinking and just acted on what he wanted.

He moved slightly closer to you, and you blanched, a little taken aback, but you recovered quickly. “

I’m cold,” you said. He knew it was a lie. He could feel the heat of you.

“Here,” he replied, and he pulled the blanket open slightly so you could wiggle forward, resting yourself against his chest.

He angled himself carefully, trying so hard to avoid the rest of your bodies touching, but it was impossible, so he pulled you closer, letting every part of you rest against him.

“Tell me,” you muttered.

“What should I tell you?” he whispered back.

“I don’t know. Anything.” You were fading quickly, and he was relieved. Sad that he would have to go soon, but relieved that you were finally resting.

“Okay,” he said, even softer. “I think if I ever drank from a magical spring, I would do a better job hiding it than the Tuck family did.”

You hummed in response, and then he felt your head nod into his chest as you fell fully asleep.

#bts smut #seokjin smut #seokjin #seokjin x reader #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #thanks for the sub

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irlkisukeurahara · 2 years

Text

IR / IH related thoughts (ship & shipper)

People who actively participate in IR/IH discourse aren't welcome, I'm just blabbering because this is my blog and I do what I want. If you're offended over ships that's your problem not mine

it feels like some Ichiruki fans dumb down their relationship to just being a romance. like it's always been beyond a romance, more than a romance, deeper than a romance, and not intended to be a romance. but you're not inherently wrong to see it as such, but it's more than just "they're in love." it's always been more than that. they're soulmates for sure, but that doesn't always quantify as romance and it doesn't have to be. even if they don't fuck their relationship runs deeper than water

There's one problem with Ichihime -- one, and it's a glaring one. Kubo's a misogynist, so he fumbled the bag on Orihime's character. Orihime and Ichihime do have a lot going for them -- The problem is that Kubo just decided to forget why Orihime was so important because he wanted to remind you that she has large boobs, in case y'all forgot.

The ending is abrupt and boring but of course people only rage about it because it didn't have the ship they wanted?? Like there's actual problems with it, with Kubo, and the line you draw is "Ichigo didn't fuck Rukia"??? like I think they're cute and all but that's not the problem here.

Both sides of the ship war are toxic, okay? Can a certain section of IH fans accept that people can like something that doesn't 100% adhere to canon? Like if you hate non canon ships there's literally no point of shipping. you don't have to send death threats over a goddamn manga. Are y'all allergic to fun? And can a certain section of IR fans accept that you can dislike a character or a ship without making it sexist? Like you don't gotta like Orihime but calling her the R slur is super not okay my guy

some ichiruki fans I've seen really forget a big aspect of Ichigo's character-- like-- no he's not going to stay in the soul society unless he fucking dies. not the man that values his family and friends in karakura so highly. bros not gonna stay in the soul society to date rukia because he's not gonna abandon his sisters or his friends fuck no

only semi related but -- shipping Kazui x Ichika outside of the context of A.) A human AU or B.) A puppy love crush that doesn't blossom into anything else that fades away over time is lowk weird. they're gonna stop aging at the same rate by the time they're like 10. then ichikas gonna stay 10 for like 60 years or something. but kazui's probably gonna age like a person so that relationship cannot last.

And no, the same logic that justifies Ichiruki doesn't justify Kazui x Ichika. Cause they were born at the same time. Rukia is 10x older than Ichigo at the start of the story but they're both a similar age in terms of appearance and maturity. So it's not the same with them

Hate shipping discourse? Wanna know how to solve your problems? Be a polyshipper! Hate arguing over IR vs IH vs RR and blah blah blah???? Ichirenruki + Ichirukihime. Boom. Problem solved. I saved the day. You're welcome 😎

#tite kubo is stinky #n e ways #do i dare tag the ships......#nah not today #not in the mood for that #might go back and add the tags later if im feeling like i want to have a warzone #but not today #bleach #bleach anime #anime #rukia kuchiki #ichigo kurosaki #orihime inoue #rambles with miles

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edenesth · 1 year

Text

[8:35 PM]

Tonight was girls' night and while you were getting ready, San abruptly halted in his tracks, doing a double take at you just as he was passing by your shared room.

Without you noticing, your boyfriend narrowed his eyes dangerously, arms crossed firmly across his chest.

"Excuse me, woman, you mind telling me what the hell is that?"

You blinked up at him from your seat at the vanity table, seeing him point accusingly at your attire, "Uh... my outfit for the evening? I did mention I was going out with the girls, so why the surprise?"

He rolled his eyes, closing the distance between you and stopping just behind you, his glare piercing through the mirror, "I know you're going out tonight, but why the need to dress so... provocatively?"

A laugh escaped you as you realised his disapproval of your crop top and mini skirt, "Well, I won't be the only one dressed like this, so relax. And you know the girls would take care of me. Besides, you're picking me up later; I'll be safe."

With a stubborn shake of his head, he retrieved one of his bomber jackets from his side of the wardrobe and handed it to you, "Here, put this on."

You stared at him, unamused.

"Sannie, I love you, but everyone will laugh at me if I show up looking like a penguin drowning in your huge ass jacket."

He glared challengingly at you.

"If you don't wear this, I'll call Wendy and tell her you can't make it tonight."

You gasped loudly, shooting up from your seat, "You wouldn't dare."

He smirked, "Oh, you bet I would, baby girl."

You groaned in frustration, "This isn't fair! I already missed the last girls' night because of you! I can't miss this one too!"

He grinned, "You can still go. All you have to do is wear this jacket and keep it on until I pick you up. You can take it off as soon as you're back with me—heck, you can take everything off if you want."

Your cheeks flushed deep red as you slapped a hand on his chest and snatched the jacket from his grasp, "Ugh, fine. I'll have to bleach that mouth of yours, I swear."

"Good girl," He cooed, watching you reluctantly slip into his jacket, his heart swelling at the sight of you in his clothing. He couldn't resist wrapping his arms around you, "Now, you look perfect."

All your previous resistance melted away as he leaned in to kiss you.

Pulling back slightly, he whispered, "Should I call Wendy to cancel?" You scoffed, playfully pushing him away, "In your dreams, Choi San. I'm going to that party, whether you like it or not."

He pouted, "You meanie."

But before he could leave the room, you caught his hand, "We can pick up where we left off when the party's over." The sly gleam in his eyes and the way he bit his lip was all it took for your legs to go weak.

Oh boy, I can't wait for girls' night to be over already.

ATEEZ Masterlist

Tag list: @aurasblue @marievllr-abg

#edenesth #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez timestamps #san x reader #san x you #ateez drabbles #san drabble #san fluff #ateez fic #ateez imagines

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socially-awkward-skeleton · 3 months

Text

Pairing: John Price x fem!oc (3rd person pov)

Word count: 4.4 K

Warnings/tags: smut, p in v sex, established relationship, pet names, suggestive dialogue, swearing, drinking, caught in the rain, stuck in a blackout, couple plays truth or dare, super long winded set up for porn, and a slightly rushed ending

NSFW taglist [opt in/out]: @imogenkol @illmetbymoonlight @roofgeese @efingart @inafieldofdaisies

@raresvtm @evvie-a @an-drawer @clicheantagonist @rc-dragons

@la-grosse-patate @direwombat @solstheimart @statichvm @cassietrn

@lady-eudaemonia @strafethesesinners @thedeadthree @voidika @mutantthedark

@strangefable @simplegenius042 @writeforfandoms @quantum-lover @heroofshield

Rain pelts down on the concrete streets of London, the scent of cool drops hitting hot pavement one of the rare scents that could only be attributed to summer in the middle of the city – not quite petrichor, but that bleach clean scent of ozone remained apparent as the storm builds to its height. Thunder booms, shrouding once sunny skies in clouds the colour of deep bruises, shades of purple and green, while lightning cracks in bright luminescent streaks worthy of ancient beliefs in Thor or Zeus’ wrath.

Amongst the masses splashing through the quickly pooling puddles, John rushes Rory inside their townhouse, his jacket held over their heads as a deterrent from the rain, though it does little good as the precipitation pours with the steady flow of a broken faucet on full blast, an absolute deluge coming down at once. They're soaked. Drowned rats with matted hair and sopping wet layers of clothing glued to their forms.

Once inside the four walls meant to shelter them, they are no safer from the clutches of the storm. Rory flicks at the switch by the front door – click-click, click-click – doing nothing at all. The interior of the townhouse left tenebrous, shadows creeping in from the darkened corners. “Bollocks,” she mutters under her breath, heading to the coat closet and grabbing the candles and battery-operated lamps in her power outage kit – even in an unplanned crisis the woman is never unprepared.

Water sloshes off of her as she moves about, dripping down the contours of her face from her drenched hair as John grumbles, peeling off waterlogged shoes and socks by the front door, his jacket in no better shape. “Worse spots we could be in, love. At least we’re at ‘ome, liquor cabinet stocked, gas is still on so we can cook the perishables.” “Yes. Yes, I know. Ever the pragmatist, John,” she snarks before heading to the kitchen for the lighter. “Comes with being a Captain.”

His reply is muffled as he moves down the hall, the sound of wet bare feet slapping on hardwood floors following after him, and she rolls her eyes. “Well make sure ‘the captain’ mops up after himself, yeah? Don’t need puddles on my floor,” she calls back. Rory begins lighting candles and placing them around the kitchen, filling the space with the warm amber glow of firelight flickering as a draught from the open window flows throughout. Entering moments later, John rubs a towel through his hair and tosses it at her after she places the last candle on the table in the corner nook.

“Cheers.” She runs the terry cloth through damp strands, rustling it back and forth, leaving her hair a wild, haphazard mess of waves. “So, what do we do to pass the time for the next however many hours?”

A smirk is the only reply she receives from the bulky man in her periphery. Piercing eyes, normally steely and hard while focused on war and staying alive, sparkle with playful intent. A life to them that Rory only finds in their moments alone. The man who, when they’re miles away from base, gets to fold up and pack away things like duty and honor the way he does his clean laundry neatly into drawers.

“Fuck off, you do not have the refractory period of a 15 year old boy, pillock.” Tossing the soggy towel back at him with a grin, it slaps against his barrel chest like a dead octopus. A hearty chuckle fills the room, blue eyes sparkling from behind crinkled lines in his face. “Mind out o’the gutter, my girl. Was just gonna say we could take a nap.” Bouncing on his heels, proud as a peacock with the way he grins at her.

She hums skeptically, “Is that so?” Her fingers curl around her hips as she stands before him, challenging him like always. “And Soap doesn’t have a bloody rolodex going of numbers he gets from the bar.” “That may be so,” John purrs, drawing closer, dropping off the soggy towel onto the top of the kitchen island. Strong arms wrap around her waist as he stands behind her, drawing her closer to him, grinding his hips against her backside. His mouth near her ear, the bristles of his beard tickle her cheek. “But I think we can both agree after going a round or two together, a rest is often necessary,” he breathes seductively, voice rough and low with desire. “Isn’t that right, love?” “So much for my mind being the one in the gutter.”

He tips his head to the side, angling it to better kiss the side of her neck, plush lips softly pressing to sensitive skin. “Could do something else instead with our time,” Rory offers.

“Like what?” He mumbles against her, lost in his own advances while nuzzling against her slick flesh. Collecting drops of rainwater that roll down the smooth column of her neck on his whiskers.

“Truth or dare? Share a bottle of whiskey while we do it?”

His laugh is a deep rumble in his chest, vibrating against her slender body and through her back as his hands knead at moist clothing cleaving to her frame. “You want to play a bloody kid’s party game?”

Rory shrugs, nonchalant. “Why not?” “Sure know how to drive a hard bargain, Sinclair,” he snickers.

“Oi, on your bike.” Her elbow moves to gently nudge him in the stomach, her nose wrinkling as she plays up her mock annoyance.

“Fine. Are we playin’ ‘7 minutes in Heaven’ while we’re at it then?” A lopsided smile pulling at his mouth as his brow cocks.

“That’s for afterwards.” With a frisky wink she grabs a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the counter. “Now, come on.” Placing them on the floor, she sits with her back resting against a cabinet and pours them each a double. The amber liquid streaming in carefully controlled twists of her wrist, she’s a woman well-practiced in the art of a properly measured dram. John sighs and slowly lowers to the floor, careful with his knees and lower back as he settles, his long legs stretched out between his place against the oven door and the kitchen island in front of him. She slides one of the drinks across the tiles towards him and they clink their glasses together in a toast. “To the most ridiculous way two grown military officers could possibly spend their time together.” A bright, lilting giggle fills the space between them as dimples carve into her cheeks.

“Haven’t done this since before I was at Sandhurst,” he muses quietly, lifting the glass and bringing it to his lips, taking a hefty sip. “Without the drink, ‘course.”

“Oh, of course.”

Sitting in the dark of their kitchen, candles aglow, it was more intimate than it likely should have been considering their choice of entertainment for the foreseeable future while the power was out. Sipping at their drinks, enjoying the smooth, warm burn of the top shelf liquor Rory always had in her collection, they sat together as if it were any other Saturday evening. “Right, sweetheart. Truth or Dare?” John asks, breaking the silence first.

“Truth.”

“Really?” Placing the glass down on the floor beside him with a gentle crystal chime against the dark marble. “Right off the bat, not even going to go for a little danger? What happened to my brave Lieutenant, eh?” His crooked grin appears all the more sinister in the dampened light.

“Yeah, and if I hadn’t said ‘truth’ you would have given me shit about ‘not trusting you’. So piss off, you bloody prat.” He laughs once more, nodding. “Probably right, I just might’ve.” Blue eyes roam around the ebony wood cabinets of the kitchen as he thinks of a fitting question for Rory’s first choice of truth. “Our very first time together – would we have still ended up in the stall if I had the mutton chops?”

Rory, choking on the sip of whiskey she was currently drinking, coughs up the alcohol as she pats her hand against her chest, laughing. Her voice a throaty croak as she speaks, “Fucking hell, not pulling any punches, are we?” “Well?” He remains stoic, waiting for her answer, the brusque response of the Captain and not John. A barely visible curl pulls at the corner of his lips.

“Probably.” She angles her head to the side and examines him in detail, roaming over him, imagining the baby-faced Lieutenant she met all those years ago with her future husband’s choice of facial hair. “Not exactly a look most girls are used to seeing, however. Few men can pull off the style of someone who would blend in rather nicely in an old west saloon.” A smirk pulling at her full lips as she jokes with him.

“Probably?” John’s heavy brow furrows as his penetrating gaze lands on her, burning into her like a laser sight.

“Don’t know how the 23-year-old me would’ve felt about them.” Her one shoulder lifts in a shrug. She’s never been anything but honest with him, John having always appreciated her bluntness.

“Ah, so it takes a more mature and refined woman to respect ‘em, yeah? Not worthy of a bathroom stall, but a romp in a tent suits ‘em just fine?”

Laughing, her head tosses back, amplifying it. “Fine, you got me there.” Stretching out from her cross legged position, prodding his shin with her toes, she taunts him, continuing the schoolyard antics that started with the choice of game.

However, she’s met by the swift response of John leaning towards her and taking her hand in his. Her dainty one overwhelmed by his grip as he brings her knuckles to his lips, kissing them softly, the stubble of his beard brushing against her soft flesh. “Glad I waited to grow ‘em out then.”

“Wouldn’t have you any other way now.” Hazel eyes sparkle as she gazes at him, reflecting the candlelight in the amber flecks of her emerald depths.

“Suits me, my girl.”

A cozy moment of silence settles between them, smiling at one another, rapt in one another’s shared attention. Six years together. It wasn’t all bliss, but it certainly suited them, with enough memories to fill several albums. Love, the most earnest either of them had ever felt, and it was only for each other. “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare,” John answered, not hesitating for a moment as he released her hand.

“Find the most embarrassing item of clothing you have in the closet, and tell me why.”

“Cheatin’.” He points his finger at her, suddenly a stickler for the rules. “Tha’s a truth and a dare.”

“Maybe so, but fuck it, if we’re gonna play a teenager’s game we might as well have teenager’s rules.”

Steely eyes narrow, his mouth purses making his mustache twitch in response. “Is this just a chance f’you to make fun of that Christmas sweater mum got me last year?”

Shaking her head, she works to hold in a chuckle that tries it’s hardest to sneak past tight lips. “I didn’t say dorky, I said embarrassing. Something with a little more meaning behind it than a big reindeer head with a light up nose – as adorable as that was on you,” she teases.

Jaw clenching, his nose wrinkles as he grimaces. “Fuckin’ ‘ell.” Rising with a grumble, he uses his mobile flashlight to find his way through the darkened home. In the silence, free from the usual electrical hum of appliances, Rory relaxes against the cupboard and sips her drink. Quiet and her weren’t usually on good terms. Unlike John, her peace was found through noise, chaos. Silence simply let the ghosts that haunted her seep in, her usual means of coping keeping them at bay. But, for once, she seems to enjoy the relative calm. A certain sensory deprivation about the stillness and the dark, the peaceful hypnotic dance of candle flames flickering around her, keeping her from drifting too far into the shadows in her head.

Arriving back in the kitchen several minutes later, John unfurls an old Motorhead tee shirt, the once black material now worn out and grayed with age.

“Motorhead?” Her brow lifts. “How is that embarrassing? I already know your music taste, love.” A cheeky smirk pulls at her lips as she crosses her arms over her chest.

He sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “You wanted the story behind it, yeah?” His brow lifts to meet hers, staring at her from under the ridge, frustration apparent on his face. “So, let me tell it.”

“Go on then.” Holding out her hand in an invitation to him to sit and tell the tale. As he sits, her hands return to the space between her lap, cupping the glass that sits nestled between her thighs, body heat warming the last sips of liquor inside.

“Right. So, before we met – the first time, I mean – there was a bird. Had just gone and seen the band live in concert on my leave, been sweating and fighting my arse off in Iraq before that, meant to give this to her before I left again,” he says, gripping the shirt tight in his fist like he’s choking the life from it, the tendons in his arms standing out in stark relief. “Didn’t work out, for several reasons.” By the tone of his voice, she can already tell it was less than amicable. No wonder he had been looking for a quick hook up the same way she had all those years ago. “But I liked the shirt,” he shrugs, “Had it sitting at the back of the closet for years now.” Tossing the shirt away from him, it skids across the floor in a crumpled mess. Rory’s eyes follow it’s trajectory, attuned to the movement like it's a target in the sight of her scope. Her gut churns, annoyed with herself for making him dredge up the past. She glances back at him, chewing on her lip, her brows knitting together as that natural predilection to be a smartass to cover for the tension boils up inside her. But she can’t. Not like this.

“You’re a better person than I. Would have burned the damn thing, good riddance too. The bitch,” she snarls.

A smirk plays at the corner of John’s mouth at her reaction. Glancing up, he grunts, the little growl from the back of his throat a response to the possessive hint in Rory’s tone as he lifts his glass to take another drink.

Sparks flare in her eyes, an idea coming to mind, the little fireball John’s madly in love with coming out to play. She could never sit idly by when she had the chance to solve a problem. “Tell you what, you and me, we’re going to make a good memory with it.”

Wiping his mouth with the side of his hand after swigging back his last sip, his voice is hoarse with the burn. “What the ‘ell are you on about?”

“Well, we’ve made very good memories together quite often, haven’t we?” She purrs, implying the obvious as she snatches the shirt from its puddle of material it landed in on the floor. “There is no way I am letting some slag ruin this for you, my darling.” “What d’you suggest then, sweetheart?” he asks with a cocky lift of his brow. “Clothes are wet anyhow.”

Peeling off her damp shirt like a second skin, Rory then unhooks her bra. Tossing both articles of clothing to the side as she smiles at him, her intense doe-eyed stare seemingly bottomless in the shadowy kitchen. “Bloody good start, love.” His heated gaze roams over her exposed chest, a sight he’s seen a thousand times before, and still that predatory stare residing just below the surface comes creeping back up to the forefront. Skin the complexion of peaches and cream glows, illuminated by dancing flames licking at wicks, shadows and highlights forming over the scars that blemish her skin from combat. Standing, she unbuttons her trousers, letting the wide legged black pants fall to the ground and drape around her feet. John’s hand deftly sneaking in before they pool around her ankles to grab her glass on the floor, finishing off the last dregs of it himself. Slipping her panties down next, stepping out of the pile of wet clothes, she kicks them away and grabs the oversized band tee. The threadbare cotton hugging her lithe form as she stands over him, hands on her hips.

“Even better, you ask me.” His stare sparkles mischievously up at her from his spot on the floor, unmoved. Square jaw going slack as he swallows thickly, pushing the glasses away from him, his steadily stiffening erection growing more evident by the moment as it strains against the material of his gray sweatpants.

A quiet, breathy giggle leaves her as she lowers to sit in his lap, legs straddled on either side of his thick, muscular thighs. Her forehead resting against his as she gazes into his eyes and whispers, “When you see this shirt in future, I just want you to think of that time you shagged your wife-to-be thoroughly on the kitchen floor during a blackout.”

“Can do, my girl,” John rumbles as his hands lift to rest on the curve of her waist, gripping her tight.

Cocking her head to the side, angling it to better mark his mouth with her lips, she kisses him ardently. The rough pads of his fingers curl under her chin as he pulls her closer to him, their lips meet in a searing embrace.

With little coaxing, the waistband of his sweatbands rolls down his hips. His cock hard, ready to be made of use, thick and heavy. Eyes smoldering with desire, he watches her every move as she settles down on his length, her tight sex enveloping him in its velvet grip. Wet heat. Pure bliss. Groaning – a low, guttural sound – he buries his face in the crook of her neck. Hot breath fanning against her, the skin below becoming moist, his beard burning against sensitive flesh. She starts to move, and his hips rise to meet her, thrusting to drive deeper with each roll of her hips and lift of her toned thighs. Breaths are punched from her lungs as he buries himself inside her, muscles visibly flexing with each shift of her body. A dance, one they've perfected over the years, a rhythm that brings them both to that sweet edge.

As if on cue, John begins to lavish her in praise. Give and take. The ebb and flow of the ever shifting landscape of who leads and which one follows, a comfortable equality within their dichotomy that never fails to work for both parties, knowing exactly what works for each of them to reach that inevitable peak.

"Fuck, Rory," he growls, grabbing at her for leverage. "So fuckin’ perfect f’me.”

Large, rough paws grip at her waist possessively, pulling her close as if he needs the anchor. He bucks his hips, desperate to delve deeper, but her pace remains deliberate, maddening. A sense of control that causes a smile to tug at the corner of his mouth as he watches her ride him, the sight of her body undulating over his, a work of art.

Flesh meets at several points of contact, penetrated folds and warm hands sliding up the curves of her body send sparks through her nerves. Goosebumps rise, left behind along his ascent towards the firm peaks of her breasts, gentle swells hidden by the excess material of his oversized shirt. As deft fingers tease at her pebbled nipples below the shirt, pinching and pulling, Rory increases the pace in his lap, rocking with a meter that matches the pounding of her heart.

"Yes, just like that, my girl. Doin’ so good, sweetheart,” he groans, hoarse and panting.

Encased in her body, control slipping, needs demanding to be met, the rhythm builds, sounds of lovemaking growing louder.

"God, I love you," John mumbles as he nuzzles against her once more. The words, heavy with emotion, fall from his lips, a testament to the bond they share. In this moment, there is no war, no death, no fear - only the two of them, entwined in passion. Rory moans, breathless, her desire carrying her forward. Her arms wrap around his broad shoulders, and her fingers card through cropped hair at his nape. “Love you too, my darling,” she whispers against the shell of his ear. Her soft breaths against him fanning the flames between them.

It’s not a sentiment that is often shared aloud, one saved for moments of life or death or intense vulnerability. But, as he looks up at her, there is a depth of adoration in his eyes that cannot be denied, a devotion and desire that is as fierce as it is tender. This is a man who has killed for her and will likely do so again – when he says love, she knows he means it. Their mouths collide, tongues sliding against each other, lips wrapped in a tight seal that lets not a single breath escape. Sounds of pleasure pass between them as they share everything else in their lives. Home. In his arms she finds solace from bullets flying overhead or silent nights marred by guilt-ridden dreams; this sanctuary exists nowhere else on Earth but right here between them.

John carefully lowers her to the floor, his hand cradling the back of her head, protecting her like some fragile prize as she comes to rest against the tile floor, supine. His mouth refusing to leave hers – firm, adamant kisses claim her lips. A low groan coming from him as he kneels on the hard floor between her thighs. His touch trails up her body, tracing curves he’s felt a hundred times before and still never gets enough of.

She watches him the whole way down to the floor, her eyes locked on his in a heated exchange. He’s the one, she thinks, and her heart confirms it as it races, her chest rising and falling with short, heavy breaths. She’s never been more sure of anything in her life, of anyone – just him.

His strong hands slide up her arms, lifting them to bring them up over her head, held there as their hands clasp together. His scarred knuckle brushing against the gold, diamond-set band on her ring finger, a stark reminder of the life they have planned together, entangled forever. The needy head of his cock nudges against her entrance, pushing against her slick folds, as it begs for re-entry. Aching for him, the momentary emptiness felt deep within her. Whimpering together at the gentle pressure before her heat welcomes him in once more, inch by inch, he slides in until their hips meet, taking her slow and deep on the floor of their kitchen. Her back arches, lifting to unite with him. Mewling desperately, not caring if the neighbors hear. Every touch of his mouth and tongue along her jawline and down her throat towards her collarbone drives her wild as she sinks further into her choreographed submission, a practiced performance, knowing the steps forwards and backwards and never showing signs of needing another partner.

“John,” she breathes his name as his hips continue to move against hers, their chests pressed together with only a shirt that had once left a bad taste in his mouth between them, now slick with their combined sweat.

“Yeah, love?” He looks down at her, his brow furrowed with concentration, jaw flexing below his scruff as his adam’s apple bobs with each heavy breath and thick swallow.

Her body begins to show the tell-tale signs of her impending climax, her muscles tightening in her legs, toes curling, the flush that grows from her chest to her cheeks warming her from the inside out and melding with the heat of his body pinned to hers on the cold kitchen tiles. Her stomach muscles flutter, her cunt clenching down on the thick of him. “I’m so close,” she whines. “I know, darlin’,” he husks as the tip of his nose nudges at the side of her neck where her pulse thunders. His lips sucking on her salty flesh stained with sweat, rasping against her, “Come for me, Rory.”

She clings to his hands held to hers, nails digging into the tendons and scars on the back of them. Long, toned legs wrapping around his waist as her body begs to be even closer to him, linked as one. Her breath hitches just before she cries out and her vision blurs, her eyes rolling back as each pulse from her core floods her body, weaving its way up her spine.

Lost for a moment, unable to find her way in the dark, forgetting where she is, she succumbs to the ravages of John’s single-minded focus on her body. Letting their dance sweep her away as he continues to thrust, chasing his own release. Her body heavy, weighted with the pleasure of release, sinks into the sturdy floor below and she enjoys the jolts of sensation that build up inside her once again with his attention.

The slick of them moving together, the rise and fall of their bodies in unison, the tight contractions around him, drives the two ever nearer to the end of their waltz. His grip on her hands tightens in return, holding her in place as each pump of his cock becomes more erratic. More urgent.

“Fuck, Ror,” he grunts, “Nearly fuckin’ there.”

The wet noises of their coupling echo through the kitchen, meeting with the incessant patter of rain outside the window. A convergence in tempo with his last surging thrust as he can no longer hold back, cumming deep inside her.

He releases his hold on her, their palms both sweaty and red from the grip they had on each other. Pulling her into his arms, their sweat mingles as he cradles her close. "Tha's my girl," John murmurs, his fingers running through her hair as his hand snakes up the back of her neck. “Gonna need you to wear that shirt more often now, I s’pose.”

It’s a simple comfort, the afterglow of passion, basking in it while the storm continues to rage outside, but they were right where they were supposed to be. They belong to each other, plain and simple, and neither would have it any other way.

#cod fanfic #cod smut #john price #john price x oc #oc: rory sinclair #ship: you are the sword to my shield #skelly writes

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cloudbersoo · 1 year

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easy for you to say｜sung hanbin

synopsis: what happens when bloom dance academy's golden boy sung hanbin needs a new duet partner and y/n is the only one available?

or; will y/n be able to fall in love with dance again? perhaps they'll fall for someone in the process.

tags: sung hanbin x gn!reader, dancer au, fluff, attempt at angst, insecure reader, miscommunication, happy ending, featuring: zb1 matthew and jiwoong, twice momo, exo kai, itzy yeji, ryujin and chaeryeong!!

word count: 5.4k

a/n: this whole fic was inspired by the ‘i like that’ dance hanbin recreated on weekly idol. i’ve never been more attracted to a man in my life, so here is a very self indulgent fic i wrote!! also this is barely proofread, so sorry for any grammar mistakes! hihi enjoy

my playlist while writing: easy for you to say & bleach by 5sos, sugarcoat (natty solo) by kiss of life, thanks to by woodz, blooming day by exo-cbx, anywhere but home by seulgi

i. that’s not good

every dancer has their bad days. but when those bad days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, suddenly your entire dance season has been nothing but awful. that’s how your previous season went, and this year hasn’t been any different either. you weren’t chosen for any of the small groups this year for any competition. you didn’t even dare to dream of a solo, even when you had one just a few years ago.

you used to be at the top, one of the coaches favourites. you’ve danced at bloom dance academy since you were three, and had gained a good reputation at the studio over the years. though, now that seems so far in the past. you were in a deep slump, one that you couldn’t get out of no matter how much you practiced. you think you’d do anything to love dancing again the way you used to.

you were currently at the studio, waiting for the full group rehearsal to start, while one of the small groups was going over their dance with coach momo. you were sitting in a corner alone, while others were socialising or going through other dances on their own. your eyes were completely fixated on one particular dancer, one that probably made you more insecure than any other – sung hanbin.

hanbin was basically your complete opposite. he only started dancing in middle school, and joined bloom dance academy only last season. everyone around him loved him, and rightfully so, as hanbin was truly amazing. his body control and facial expressions were something you could only dream of right now. his skills didn’t come out of nowhere though, everyone knew how hard he worked. and unlike you, his hard work paid off.

looking at hanbin made you feel horrible about yourself, but you couldn’t look away. he was so mesmerising to you, the way he carried himself through choreography, and how he helped those around him. you were in too deep thought to notice a couple of your teammates approaching you. it took for one of them to speak for you to finally notice your friends. “y/n, did you hear about yeji?” your teammate matthew asked you as he sat down next to you.

“no i haven’t, did something happen?” you responded, finally taking your eyes off of hanbin. you noticed besides matthew, chaeryeong and ryujin had approached you. “she injured her knee really badly at practice yesterday, she’s still at the doctors, they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong” chaeryeong opened up, clearly worried for her friend. injuries at this point of the season were the worst, but they happen every time. last year jiwoong dislocated his elbow a week before competition and all formations had to be redone.

“that doesn’t sound too good” you said, taking a sip from your water bottle. yeji won’t recover in time for the competition in four weeks, you assumed. not only will you have to redo all the formations for the full group performance and for her small group, your team will need a new female soloist and a duet partner for hanbin as well. “yeah, she’s out” ryujin confirmed your suspicions. “momo asked me for the solo, but i don’t think i can do it” she continued, brushing her hand through her hair.

“i feel so bad for yeji, but at least there's a little more time than last year” matthew said in an attempt to lighten the mood. his comment did get a few chuckles out of you.

after a moment of silence, ryujin spoke once again. “how about you y/n? could you do the solo?” ryujin asked a question that almost made you laugh. “coach would never even consider me, and… i don’t even have anything ready” you replied lowering your head in shame. it was true though, you were probably the last person momo would consider as yeji’s replacement for anything.

“okay guys! let’s start going over the new formations!” your coach declared, clapping her hands to get the whole room's attention.

ii. y/n coming to the rescue!

you were exhausted, just like everyone else in the room. your coach had said “one more time” at least ten times tonight, but finally practice had officially come to an end. today’s rehearsal had gladly eased most people's minds from yeji’s injury. however, you could only worry about your own performance, as today’s practice had barely helped you improve at all. you were packing your stuff, as you heard your coach calling your name. “hey y/n, could i talk to you for a second?” momo asked.

your mind could only think of the worst. momo was going to tell you that you’re cut from the full group completely, because you can’t get your shit together. it made sense, today’s new formations were going to look better with one less dancer, and obviously you were the first in line to go. you tried to hide your nervousness, answering her with a hum. you stuffed the last of your things into your bag and walked to your coach. “yeah, is this about the full group?” you went straight to the point.

“actually no” she started, sitting down on a chair. you were relieved, but only partly, as you had no idea where the conversation was going. “it’s about yeji’s and hanbin’s duet” momo continued, your coach visibly stressed. you could only imagine what had been going through her head the past 24 hours since yeji’s injury. she let out a loud sigh. “y/n i know you’ve had quite rough year, but i think it could be a great challenge for you”

“what do you mean? sorry coach, i’m not following” you questioned. she couldn't possibly be offering you a spot in a duet, let alone one with hanbin.

“you should do the duet with hanbin, i think you could handle it” momo said hopefully. she took your hands into hers, looking at you with pleading eyes. it was almost working, but something in you couldn't agree to it. you couldn’t possibly handle the duet, not when someone else could do a much better job than you. “i don’t know momo…” you responded.

“hanbin! please convince her to do the duet with you” momo suddenly said, her eyes leaving yours. while your talk with the coach, you had failed to notice the presence of hanbin behind you. you freed yourself from momo’s hold as you turned around to see the boy. “i just think someone else would be a much better match for the duet, i’ve seen it myself” you tried to reason.

“no! i think you’d be perfect!” hanbin said, which felt like an exaggeration to you. truthfully, you’d love to do a duet with someone so amazing as hanbin, you would be dumb not to, but your insecurities were holding you back. the duet was difficult, and with the little time you had, you weren’t sure if you could pick it up. few years ago it would’ve been easy, but now you weren’t so sure. “c’mon y/n, i need you” he begged.

“you don’t have any other dances besides the full group, so you’ll have enough time to rehearse” momo added. you looked at both of them, the two of them looking at you hopefully. while you still didn't quite understand why they were so determined to get you to do the duet, you were beginning to yield to them.

“well, when would we start then?” you asked carefully. your words made both of them squeal out of joy. hanbin wrapped his hands around you and squished you into a hug. “thank you thank you thank you” he rejoiced, spinning you around in the air. you weren’t sure if this was going to work, but having people who believed in you definitely helped.

iii. cries and confessions

the duet was not going well, at least not as well as it should be at this point. you had rehearsed for almost a week with hanbin, and while you had picked up some of the choreography, most of it was still not clicking for you. hanbin had been more than patient with you, but his patience wasn’t getting you that far.

you groaned out of frustration for the thirtieth time in the past hour. you were having difficulty with your footwork for a fast part in the choreography, and no matter how many times hanbin went slowly over it, you were not getting the timing right. “y/n it’s okay, you’ll get it eventually” he tried comforting you once again. you sighed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “no hanbin, i’m not getting it” you snapped back, your words coming out much harsher than you intended. “i’m sorry, i just- i hate that i can’t seem to get anything right” you apologised, covering your face with your hands out of embarrassment.

“do you wanna talk about it?” he asked carefully. you’ve been asked this question many times over the past two years. your teammates, momo, your parents, even the studio head, jongin had asked you if you needed to talk about whatever mental block you were going through. but you never did, because there wasn’t anything to talk about, at least that’s how you felt, and you told hanbin that. “you sure? i mean there’s clearly something going on… i get it if you don’t want to talk to me about it, but i’m here for you if you need me” he responded to you.

“what would you even know? you joined the studio after my good days” you mumbled, choosing to sit down onto the dance floor, not expecting hanbin to hear you. the boy sat down next to you, sitting close to you, your shoulders almost touching. the close proximity shouldn’t have made your heart race the way it did, at least not after dancing so close to each other for hours to an end for the past week.

“i saw your solo couple years ago at a competition, and i thought you were amazing” he confessed. hanbin was looking at you delicately, his words filled with sincerity. you never thought someone so skilled and awesome dancer like hanbin would ever say something like that to you. “you’re pretty much the reason i'm here, at bloom” he continued, his words making you speechless. “i mean, if the studio had someone as cool as you, the teachers must be something too” hanbin kept rambling, getting slightly shy over his confession, his cheeks flushed.

hanbin’s confession made you feel appreciated and sad at the same time. your eyesight was getting blurry from the tears that were about to break through. “well, that was me few years ago” you started, trying your hardest not to start crying in front of him. you locked eyes with him and he was looking at you with sorrowness. “and this is me now, someone that can barely keep up with everyone” your voice cracked, tears finally sliding down your cheeks.

hanbin didn’t say anything after that. he wrapped his hand around shoulders, lowering your head to rest on his chest. he just held you as you sobbed. it was slightly uncomfortable, the two of you were still sweaty from practice, but you couldn’t care about that for now. you were starting to calm down as hanbin stroked your arm up and down. you brought your hands to wipe out your tears, apologising to the boy for drenching his shirt even more. “i’m just wasting our time by crying like this” you said.

“it’s okay y/n, you know, sometimes letting your emotions out can help you to move on” hanbin claimed, smiling softly at you. letting go of your shoulder, he brushed some of your hair behind your ear. “should we end practice for today? i could drive you home if you’d like” the boy suggested.

“i think i’d rather walk and cool down a little, but thanks” you gave hanbin a weak smile and started getting up. he seemed to take your word, as he got up as well and started cleaning up the practice room with you. the room was filled with comfortable silence, and you were glad you had someone like hanbin to rely on.

iv. nothing happened!

after your heart to heart with hanbin, rehearsals had started to go much smoother. some days were better than others, but at least you weren’t pouring out your frustration onto him. aside from a few lifts, you two had finished the whole choreography, and you felt good about it. even momo was pleased with your work, after you had shown her your progress. while the duet was still far from perfect, you and hanbin were confident you could do well at the competition.

hanbin had also become more friendly with you over the past few weeks. he always greeted you with a hug, asked how you were doing, and kept insisting on driving you home after you were done, which was something you could no longer deny. he’d come up to you during practice if he ever noticed you frustrated, cheering you up and giving you much needed advice, while also offering to refill your water bottle. thanks to hanbin, you were slowly starting to enjoy dance again, and you think you’ll be forever grateful to him for that.

it was late friday night, only you and hanbin were left at the studio. hanbin had convinced you to stay for another hour to practice one of the lifts for your duet. while you thought it would be safer to practice with momo around, hanbin assured you he wouldn’t let you get hurt. so there you were, forty minutes later, probably at your hundred attempt of the lift. you had never been the best at any tricks or lifts, and at this point you didn’t think you'd ever quite get them.

however, hanbin was determined to get the lift right before you went home. “it’s not that hard y/n” he said, his hands on both sides of your hips. there was no hint of impatience in his voice, while he looked at you with such care. “easy for you to say, mr. i’m perfect at everything” you teased, getting a laugh out of him.

“hey! none of that!” he scolded you with a pout. “just trust me, i’m gonna catch you no matter what, okay?” he continued, squeezing your hips for reassurance. you only nodded, and on the count of three, hanbin lifted you in the air again. everything was going well, until you felt one of your hands slip, and the next moment you were laying on top of habin on the floor.

his hands were tightly wrapped around your body, and you could feel his heart beating fast into his chest. hanbin’s face was mere centimetres away from yours. “oh my god! are you okay?” you worried, trying to get off of him, but his grip only tightened. the act made you stop in your tracks, your cheeks warming up. “h-hanbin” you stuttered, now worried the boy had hit his head or something.

“see? i said i wasn’t going to let you hit the floor” he only laughed. sighing out of relief, you brushed his bangs out of the way of his eyes. hanbin looked beautiful, even when he was all worn out from the hours of practice. you’ve always thought so, but now seeing it up close you were certain about it. he smiled at you, showing off his famous whisker dimples. you smiled back, as your hands laid against his chest. you noticed his eyes travelling down your face, to your lips, and at that moment you couldn’t stop yourself from hesitantly leaning into him.

“oh sorry, didn’t know you guys were still here” you heard a voice coming from the door. being snapped back to reality, hanbin finally let go of you. you standed up and helped hanbin to do the same, the two of you now recognizing the person that had entered the room as jiwoong. “did i interrupt something?” his voice was filled with amusement.

“no not at all, we were just about to finish” hanbin’s whole face and neck hued the colour pink, as he spitted out the biggest lie of his life.

v. flirting 101

you couldn’t stop thinking about hanbin all weekend, how the two of you almost kissed if only jiwoong hadn’t interrupted you. when did you even start liking him?

while you could’ve just texted him, you never found the right thing to send. what were you supposed to say to him? you thought about asking for advice from some of your teammates but eventually decided against it, knowing they wouldn’t have anything smart to say. you could almost hear chaeryeong’s teasing words just thinking about it.

you had yet to find time to rehearse your duet together, as hanbin needed time to practice his solo. you had tried to talk to him multiple times, but snitched out last second each time, claiming that it was only because you couldn’t bother him at the moment. in reality, you felt nervous around him. you don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this way towards someone, let alone almost kissed someone.

you had stayed at the studio after practice to help momo with your team’s costumes for the competition. it seemed that you struggled with saying no when someone asks for your help. it was late again, the studio nearly empty, when you were finally ready to go home. walking towards the exit, you noticed one of the practice rooms was still in use. curiosity getting the best of you, you decided to take a look at who was still practicing at the late hour. in the room was hanbin, rehearsing alone again.

hanbin was fully focused on the music, his body hitting every beat of the song. the way he moved was captivating to you, like he was putting some type of spell on you. it wasn’t that surprising that you fell for him so easily. you thought hanbin was the most beautiful when he was in his element, when he danced.

he was too concentrated to notice you at the door. as the song came to an end, he was completely out of breath. you couldn’t help but to clap, finally revealing yourself to the boy. the act made hanbin burst out of his own bubble, seeing you in the mirror first, giving you a tired smile before turning around. “that was amazing” you praised the boy as you fully stepped into the room.

“thank you” hanbin shyly responded, walking towards his stuff and taking a towel to wipe the sweat out of his face. you went up to him and offered him his water bottle. he smiled at you before speaking up again, “what are you still doing here this late?” his voice was filled with worry, but he was still glad to see you regardless.

“you should worry about yourself” you replied, your comment getting a small chuckle out of him. hanbin seemed tired, his eyes sleepy and hair all over the place. he must’ve had a lot of pressure on him, when so many people were counting on him to do well. you took a step closer to the boy, reaching up to fix his hair. “you’re doing great hanbin” you felt the need to reassure him, his face finally relaxing from your touch. after a while of playing with his hair, you lowered your hand to his cheek, wiping the last of sweat that was left.

“i didn’t take you for a touchy person” hanbin said teasingly, making you quickly retreat your hand from his face. your cheeks started to warm up from embarrassment. was this how you acted when you liked someone? you made an attempt at hiding by turning your face away. the boy in front of you just giggled, mumbling about how cute you were being.

“do you have time tomorrow? to practice our duet i mean” you asked, trying to change the subject.

“hmm, let me think about that” hanbin pretended to think about your question for a while. “yes! but only on one condition” he said with a mischievous smile. his behaviour made you suspicious, you had yet to get used to hanbin’s playful side. hanbin took your confused face as a sign to continue, “when we win with our duet, i can take you on a date”

his straightfulness caught you off guard, but you couldn’t hold back the smile that broke into your face. knowing there were mutual feelings between the two of you gave you butterflies in your stomach. there was a hint of nervousness in hanbin, so you didn’t want to keep him waiting for an answer for too long. “if we win” you said, emphasising the word if.

“so it’s a date?” his wide smile matched yours. you nodded as confirmation, and before you knew it, hanbin quickly embraced you in his arms. you laughed how gross and sweaty he was, as he leaned back to look at you, with a pout on his lips.

“let’s go home then, i’ll drive you.”

vi. heartbreaks

your heart dropped the moment you saw yeji walk into the studio, her knee seemingly fine. everyone was shocked to see her going into jongin’s office. it was one week before the competition, and no one knew what yeji’s return could mean for the team. were jongin and momo going to let her dance? what could that mean for you and hanbin’s duet? you couldn’t hear their conversation where you were, and the suspense was killing you.

deciding you could no longer sit around waiting, you went over to the office door to eavesdrop. “we finally got the formation to work for the full group! we can’t just go and change them all over again for you!” momo’s voice said, notably worked up by yeji’s sudden appearance. yeji kept on pleading for the two to let her come, as she didn’t want to miss the competition, “then at least let me do the rest!”

“i don’t think it’d be fair for the others, ryujin has worked hard on the solo” jongin tried to explain.

“i already talked with everyone! ryujin, hanbin, they’re all okay with it!” yeji claimed.

hearing hanbin’s name mentioned made you freeze on your spot. your insecurities were starting to creep in again, your mind filled up with questions. did hanbin rather do the duet yeji instead? when did they even talk about it together? it hadn’t even been twelve hours since you last saw him.

maybe hanbin was relieved after hearing that yeji was okay. he had a much bigger chance to win with her than with you. maybe this whole time you’ve just been one big project to him, while he waited for yeji to get better.

you thought you were already over all this, being the second choice – but no, you weren’t even an option at this point. the past weeks have been the first time in years when you’ve felt great when you danced. you felt like you had finally improved, able to move on from your slump. you must’ve been just a joke to him, to everyone. tears were falling down your cheeks, your chest feeling too tight to breathe.

“there you are y/n!” you heard a very familiar voice calling you, but you couldn’t even move to see him. hanbin sounded out of breath as he finally approached you. “i was looking for you, there’s something i need to tell you” he continued, putting his hand on your shoulder. his touch finally made you shift, as you moved out of the boy's touch, you saw his concerned face. you could only watch him for a second, before you knew you had to get out of there.

“good luck with that duet” you said before taking your leave.

vii. making up and making …out?

since getting cut off from the duet, you've been avoiding hanbin like plague all week. he had tried to talk to you multiple times, but you ran off each time. you’ve tried to distract yourself by practicing on your own, and offering to help chaeryeong, matthew and jiwoong with their trio. it only helped you for awhile, because most times hanbin would show up and try to explain himself. you don’t know how many times you’ve told him to just focus on the competition instead of running after you.

you weren’t really mad at him, it wasn’t his fault that yeji came back. deep down you knew he probably had an explanation for everything, he wouldn’t have tried to talk to you otherwise. after calming down you could no longer blame yeji for losing your duet either, you would’ve likely done the same thing if you were her. she worked hard too, even to the point of injuring herself. you were mostly just mad at yourself, embarrassed how you’ve handled the whole thing, and letting your insecurities get the best of you again.

it was the last day of competition, and you were sitting in the audience, as you didn’t have any dances left. there was a small break between the small group category and the solos. your team did well, however, you could tell something was off with hanbin as he danced. it wasn’t something the judges could notice, but you knew hanbin, and something was clearly off. you were worried, but you didn’t think it would be a good idea to talk to him right now, as he was somewhere probably getting ready for his solo.

“hi, can i sit with you?” you were surprised to see yeji out here in the audience, let alone approaching you of all people. you nodded as a response, and she sat down next to you. there was an awkward silence between the two of you. you thought about what you should say to her, if you were even supposed to. both of you sat stiff, looking everywhere but each other. “shouldn’t you be getting ready for your solo?” you tried testing the waters.

“i’m not doing it” she replied, her hands gripping the corners of her chair, as she looked down to her legs. it quickly got quiet again, neither of you saying anything. you wondered if yeji’s knee wasn’t as fine as she made it seem or if something else was going on. yeji didn’t let you think for long as she finally spoke again, “i couldn’t take it away from ryujin…”

“but you could take it from me?” your words coming out of your mouth more harshly than you intended. regretting what you said, you shook your head, telling yeji to forget what you just said.

“no y/n, i should’ve asked you first, i’m sorry” she interrupted you. “i just- i was so excited to dance again… too excited even, i failed to notice that hanbin would’ve much rather danced with you. but you know him, he’s too nice to say anything” yeji explained, the last bit making you both chuckle. you were glad yeji apologised to you, even when you were never angry with her in the first place.

“do you really think that? that he would’ve rather danced with me?” you asked, wanting to believe what she said, you just needed some more reassurance.

“obviously! i might not have been around when the two of you got closer but i’ve heard some stories from jiwoong and chaeryeong” she teased, nudging your shoulder. your cheeks blushed, as you figured yeji was referring to the night jiwoong had caught you two almost kissing at the studio. “i bet he’s already halfway through choreographing your duet for next season” she continued. yeji’s words made you feel shy and giddy, they gave you the sudden urge to see him, to talk to him.

“i think i should go find him” you stood up from your seat, looking around for the fastest route to your team’s dressing room. yeji gave you an encouraging push, telling you to hurry before he needs to go up on stage.

you ended up finding hanbin before you even got to the dressing room. you found him warming up close to the stage, already in his costume. he noticed you coming right away, giving you a small smile and a wave. saying your hello’s, you stopped awkwardly few steps away from him. “how are you feeling?” you asked carefully, not sure how he’d react to you suddenly showing up.

“i’m okay, just a little nervous” he answered quietly, continuing his stretching. you just stood there, awkwardly, not knowing what to say. you didn’t really plan ahead when you suddenly decided to find him. hanbin got up, now fully looking at you, but he didn’t say anything like you hoped he would. the two of you just stared at one another, neither knowing what to say. you could no longer bear the silence, so you finally spoke, “i’m sorry.”

“no, i’m sorry, i should’ve talked to you” hanbin took your hands to his, holding onto them like his life depended on it. his eyes were sorrowful, all this must have pained him the past week, and it was mostly your fault.

“i mean you tried to…” you reminded him, hoping that he would stop blaming himself. he let out an airy laugh, a smile finally breaking to his face. announcement could be heard in the background, telling everyone that the solo category would be starting in a few minutes, and you could see hanbin tense up.

“you’re going to kill it, don’t worry” you reassured him, deciding to embrace the boy in a hug. he wrapped his arms around in a second, squeezing you tight. “you think so?” he mumbled next to your ear.

“hanbin, let’s go!” you could hear jongin yell from a distance. you took a look at hanbin, not quite ready to let go yet. “yes, and i’ll be right here watching” you said, with one more thing in your mind that you thought would help him. you looked around your surroundings, hoping that jongin wouldn’t be looking, before doing something you should’ve done weeks ago. you leaned in and kissed the boy, wrapping your arms around his neck.

hanbin kissed you back after a moment of shock, and you could feel him smile against your lips. parting ways, the two of you now giggling like little kids. “I’ll be back” he let go of you, starting to walk towards jongin, who had an amused smile on his face.

to put it simply, hanbin had never danced as well as he did then, and he was sure it was all thanks to you.

viii. lets dance

“are your eyes closed?” hanbin asked you for the fifth time, as he was moving you towards his surprise. it had been a few days since the competition, and today hanbin had been acting really suspicious. you were informed by matthew that you should stay at the studio after practice, and he left without telling you why. your questions were finally answered, when hanbin started dragging you out of the dressing room, putting his hands in front of your eyes.

“yes, you’ve made sure of it” you answered, acting bothered by his antics. “okay okay, but no lurking!” he said excitingly, helping you to get over a higher threshold. you could tell you had entered one of the practice rooms, but you had no idea what hanbin had planned. you two stopped walking, and hanbin finally let you open your eyes, “you can open now!”

once you did open them, you wouldn't believe what laid in front your eyes. the entire room was decorated with fairy lights all over the room. the view was beautiful, and you were in complete awe. you never thought hanbin would do something like this. “hanbin…” you were completely speechless.

“shh, that’s not all” he said, as a familiar song started playing from the speakers. you turned to hanbin as you recognized the song, it was the song for your duet. he smiled at you, offering you his hand. “dance with me” he said quietly. you took his hand without hesitation, and he pulled you into the middle of the dance floor. you started dancing the choreography, the room filling up with laugh and giggles.

dancing with hanbin just felt right. it made you feel at ease, moves coming easily to you as the two of you spinned around the dance floor. you never wanted this moment to end, that’s how much you were enjoying it. for a long time you haven’t enjoyed dance as much as you did right now, with hanbin. and suddenly it hit you – you loved dancing again.

…and maybe you loved hanbin too.

- end

bonus:

“y/n, will you be my duet partner?”

“only if you’ll be my boyfriend as well”

“i like this deal”

#zb1 #zerobaseone #sung hanbin #zb1 x reader #zb1 sung hanbin #zb1 hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #sung hanbin fic #zb1 fluff #zb1 fics #zerobaseone hanbin #kpop #cloudbersoofic

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