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jooniperbonsai · 24 days ago

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Oh this is a fun one I love the tension

♡ 01: maybe it's all in my head

series m.list // taglist

note: hihiii ,, this jk has been rotting my mind for a while now ... time to ruin urs !!! enj the tension ,, (i miss being toxic) lmk what u guys think of their dynamic tho <3 excited to share their little story with u ,, mwaaaa

warnings: oc and jk are mean in this fic !!! pls don't comment being whiney abt it :') !!! oc overhears jk fucking someone ,, jealousy ,, banter

“oh. it’s you.”

leaning against the doorframe, jungkook looks at you half disgusted and half disappointed. his arms are crossed with one eyebrow lifted. he blocks your entrance.

“now, now,” you reach over and ruffle his hair. he shifts, dodging your touch. “don’t be so excited. i know your boring life just waits for my presence—oh. i get it. were you expecting someone? usually you’re thrilled to see me.”

jungkook’s expression doesn’t shift, though there’s a faint glint in his eyes.

“thrilled is reaching, don’t you think?”

“is it?”

“yeah.”

you roll your eyes, brushing past him with a teasing smile.

“right, so… which are you today? mr. save the dolphins or professor chem?”

jungkook scoffs at you.

“at least my marine conservation interest and organic chem major help the world. what’s your major again? yap-conomics or bitch-ology?”

“help the world?” you almost burst into laughter. “god, you are such a nerd.”

“nerd? i don’t know about you, but some of us care about—”

“yeah, yeah,” you wave him off. “are you waiting for a nobel peace prize or something? holy shit, jungkook. learn to relax a little. you’re so serious. it’s cute, really�� but only when you aren’t so anal about it.”

cute?

jungkook feels his chest tighten.

before he can make a comeback, taehyung calls you to the living room.

“___? is that you? stop trying to edge jungkook! get in here! i need your data for our paper!”

you stick your tongue out at jungkook before turning away and rushing to the living room. your lips curl into a smug grin as you saunter off, leaving jungkook muttering something under his breath. you catch him rolling his eyes just before you disappear around the corner, a small flicker of triumph igniting in your chest.

the living room is warm, filled with the faint hum of taehyung’s lo-fi playlist and the smell of old books—his aesthetic, no doubt. taehyung is sprawled on the couch, laptop open, an arm draped lazily over the cushions. his wide grin grows wider when he sees you.

“i’m here!”

“finally! come on, genius. enlighten me,” he says, patting the seat next to him.

you plop down beside him, legs folded under you, your laptop balanced precariously on your knees. “genius? are you sucking up to me because you didn’t do your part of the project yet?”

“yup,” he says, shrugging, his head tilted lazily to the side. “if you don’t send me that data tonight, though, i might call you something less flattering.”

you laugh, the sound soft and light, and lean into the cushions, already pulling up the necessary files.

“your boyfriend’s in a mood.”

“he always is when you’re around,” taehyung teases. “he only answered the door cos he thought it was his student. your face must’ve pissed him off.”

chuckling at his response, you ask another question.

“where are the guys?”

“they’ll be home soon,” taehyung answers. “said they wanna eat out tonight after jungkook’s tutoring session. you coming with?”

“sure,” you agree.

then, the two of you fall into a comfortable rhythm, bouncing ideas back and forth while taehyung clicks through your notes, occasionally throwing in a sarcastic remark or two that makes you nudge him with your elbow.

a few minutes later, you hear an unfamiliar laugh and footsteps approaching.

jungkook strides in, casual and confident as always, but this time a girl is trailing after him.

she’s pretty.

the two exchange a few murmured words before jungkook’s eyes flicker briefly in your direction. he raises a hand in a lazy acknowledgment, the girl following suit, and say hi. taehyung nods at them and then they’re gone—slipping upstairs in the blink of an eye.

the sound of his bedroom door clicking shut echoes faintly.

and then, it rings in your ear.

you blink, your fingers frozen mid-typing on the keyboard. something gnaws at your chest, sharp and unfamiliar, leaving a bitter taste at the back of your throat. taehyung, oblivious, scrolls through your notes, muttering about formatting errors.

but you… you’re somewhere else entirely.

what was that?

no name?

no introduction?

did she think you were taehyung's girlfriend or something? that jungkook was all for her?

oh god.

there's a weird twist in your stomach. it feels like a prickle of irritation spreading across your skin like an itch you can’t scratch… you shake your head, trying to brush it off, but the image of jungkook—smirking as usual, leaning casually against the banister, that girl so effortlessly fitting into the space beside him—lingers, stubborn and unshakable…

what the fuck.

it’s not like you and jungkook are close.

you’re frenemies, at best.

unsure of when it started exactly—but it’s been happening long enough for it to be routine and well-known in the friendgroup. you two are the kind of people who throw jabs at each other during game nights and compete to see who can make the snarkiest comment without crossing the line. you’re always caught in this stupid cycle of one-upping each other, all for the entertainment of the group. sometimes, more for yourself. life gets boring pretty quickly, and jungkook is your fastest source of entertainment.

yet, why does it feel like you’ve just lost some unspoken game?

your chest tightens, and you lower your gaze to your laptop, fingers hovering over the keys. you bite the inside of your cheek, a nervous habit you’ve never been able to kick… this icky feeling begins to take over and your mind races with reasons as to why.

maybe it’s because jungkook’s always been so good at getting under your skin.

maybe it’s because, for all his teasing and relentless bickering, there’s this… comfort in knowing that he’s always there, right across the table, firing back at you like he knows exactly how to push your buttons.

and maybe that’s the problem.

because now, with someone else upstairs, laughing at something he probably said, you’re starting to realize that you might actually care more than you thought.

maybe you care because you’re not the one in his room he’s trying to make laugh.

after a few hours pass, everyone’s stomach beings to grumble.

for the past 20 minutes, the guys have been begging you to go up and call jungkook down. he hasn’t been answering their texts and all argue that if they go up and knock; he’ll just ignore them.

… but if you do it…

he’ll answer.

even if it’s just to insult you.

you glance up at the clock, already mentally calculating the time. you're not really in the mood for another round of back-and-forth with him, but you know they'll just keep pushing you.

"please, please, please, ___!” taehyung cries, pouting. “i really need pad thai. like… so bad. like, i might die. please go get jungkook.”

you hesitate, your eyes flicking to the stairs.

jungkook hasn’t come out at all. you don’t want to disturb anything and he’s a total grumpy-head when his study time is disrupted… what more if it’s a tutoring lesson? the last time you went up there, it ended with you calling him a dumbass and him tossing a pillow at you.

“i think you guys can go get him this time," you say, turning your attention back to your phone, pretending to scroll through a message.

"oh come on," jimin presses. "you know, at the end of the day… he only really listens to you." his voice drips with exaggeration, but it only makes you roll your eyes.

"yeah, that’s true…" hobi adds with a playful smirk, leaning back into the couch. "you’re like his… little bitch or something."

you shoot them both a look. “you think i’m his bitch?"

“either that or he’s your little bitch.”

you scoff at him. “please do not disgrace bitches by associating them with him.”

“fine, fine,” jin says with a dramatic sigh, raising his hands in mock surrender. “we won’t force you to go up… we’ll bribe you!”

your interest piques as you glance up at him, eyebrow raised.

“bribe me? how much cash do you have today?”

yoongi and nam joon share a look. then, nam joon leans forward, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“milk tea," he offers, his voice low and enticing, like he knows exactly what will catch your attention. "… any boba store you want. any time… for a week, ___.”

you try to fight the grin that starts tugging at your lips.

fuck it.

you nod begrudgingly, slipping your phone into your pocket.

“deal.”

taehyung bursts out laughing. “deal."

with a resigned sigh, you head for the stairs.

as you climb up, you prepare yourself.

you prepare yourself for his death glare and the innocent girl in the background. you prepare yourself for his snarky comments and his sweet tone of voice the minute he turns around to talk to her. you prepare yourself to feel sick to your stomach again.

as you stand in front of his bedroom door and raise your fist to knock—you hear it.

rather, you hear them.

the unmistakable sound of his voice, muffled but clear enough that you can make out the low hum of his tone, followed by a girl’s laugh—a breathy, high-pitched laugh that makes your stomach twist.

you freeze, standing in the doorway, caught between disbelief and something you can’t quite name. your heartbeat picks up in your chest, your body tensing as the reality of the situation settles over you.

you’re not sure what exactly it is—maybe it’s the fact that it’s so casual, or maybe it’s the way the sound of it makes you feel like you’re intruding—but you feel a sudden flush creep up your neck and cheeks.

“oh my god, o-oh my g-god! t-that’s it, jungkook! oh god, baby… f-fuck!”

“fuck—you close, baby?”

“so close, baby. so fucking close. g-god, yes, yes, yes! nghh—fuck! so big, jungkook. oh my god, oh my god! fuck me, fuck me… j-just like that, baby. yes, y-yes–o-oh! mhmmmphhh—”

"shit, shit, shit..."

"fuck me harder, jungkook. please! o-oh? oh! oh my god! yes... yes! thank you, baby. thank you, thank you! ahhh... oh my god..."

you swallow, stepping back, retreating to the stairs.

the guilt of overhearing makes your pulse race in an odd way, like you’ve been caught in something you weren’t supposed to see.

at the bottom of the stairs, you pause, your hand on the banister, unsure whether you should stay or go.

you quickly decide.

you’re already feeling the sting of something sharp and unfamiliar in your chest.

“guys,” you say quickly, trying to keep your tone light, but there’s an edge to it you can’t mask. "y-you know what? i think i’ll just head home. i’ve got a ton of work to do.”

they look at you, confused. taehyung blinks a couple of times, jimin frowning.

“but we—"

"y-yeah,” you breathe. “i… i know. i just… it’s all good. you guys can go ahead without me,” you add, forcing a smile.

“slow down, ___. what—”

“i feel sick,” you confess. “okay? i feel sick.”

“okay… can one of us drive you home or something—”

“no. i’m good. thank you, though… i.. i gotta go.”

they all frown, their confusion morphing into concern, but you’ve already grabbed your things and hurried out the door before they can protest.

the cold night air feels like a slap to your face as you walk away, but it doesn’t quite shake the unsettled feeling in your stomach.

you can’t stop thinking about it.

about how you feel.

about what you heard.

about how much you fucking hate jeon jungkook.

it’s almost 10PM by the time you finish showering. your hair is still damp, hanging loosely around your shoulders as you brush it out in front of the mirror. the soft swish of the brush is the only sound in the room, your thoughts still lingering on what happened earlier. the image of Jungkook with that girl, the sound of their voices together, keeps replaying in your mind, and it won’t leave.

you shut your eyes and try to forget.

taking a breath in—your moment is interrupted by a knock on your door.

you frown, glancing at the clock before moving to the door, towel still hanging from your shoulders. it’s late, and you weren’t expecting anyone.

heading towards the door, you wonder who it is.

then, when you open the door, you freeze.

there, standing in the hallway with a takeout bag in hand, is jungkook. his face is unreadable, but his eyes—those eyes—seem to be searching yours for something. you can’t quite figure out what.

you blink, caught off guard by the unexpected visit, and for a moment, neither of you says anything.

“uh…” jungkook clears his throat, breaking the silence, his voice lower than usual. “the guys think i did something to piss you off… so i’m supposed to say sorry for… whatever i did.”

“you didn’t do anything,” you lie. “goodnight.”

just as you’re about to shut the door, he takes a step forward.

“___,” he says, tone flat and annoyed. “don’t be a bitch. just tell me what i did so i can apologize, go home and tell them what i did wrong, and we can act like nothing happened—”

“okay,” you shrug. “you wore an ugly shirt today. there. say sorry.”

jungkook winces at you.

“seriously?”

you shrug again.

“what do you want, jungkook? i have nothing to say to you—”

“i don’t fucking understand where all this attitude is coming from. i didn’t do shit to you today. you know i didn’t… so, can you please use your tiny brain to make something up? something more convincing than hating my fucking shirt.”

you nod, pretending to care. then, just as you reach for the door to shut it again; jungkook swiftly moves past you. he lets himself in.

“they’re worried you didn’t eat,” he states. “did you eat?”

you groan at him. “why the fuck do you care?”

“i don’t.”

but his actions say otherwise.

jungkook then takes off his shoes and heads to your coffee table. he sits himself on the floor and begins to unpack the food. silently, you watch as he does so and can’t help but feel like throwing up.

“eat,” he commands.

you glare at him.

“get out.”

jungkook leans back against your couch. “eat, tell me what i did wrong, then i’ll leave.”

“leave first.”

“eat first.”

“get out.”

“holy shit,” jungkook scoffs. “are you even capable of forming a complex sentence, or is that too much for you? ___, this is called a conversation. you’re supposed to—"

“get out.”

jungkook sighs heavily.

a silence falls upon you two.

jungkook has had difficult days with you before.

this is nothing new… but for some reason, right now feels harder than the other days. partly because most days he knows when he’s being an asshole—but today? he has no clue.

he’s in the dark.

jungkook clears his throat.

“i didn’t yell at you today,” he starts. “i didn’t call you names. you called me a nerd but that was it… your face ruined my day but i guess it made the others pretty happy since they were so pissed at me for being the reason why you left… so, hey… how about this? you tell me what i did wrong for the guys. not for me.”

you raise an eyebrow at him.

his eyes plead.

then, a moment passes.

instead of answering him, you pick up your feet and sit on the floor beside him. you look at the door and take the utensils from the bag. poking at the food, you contemplate on telling him what’s going on in your head.

just as you’re about to eat a spoonful of the food, you suddeny feel jungkook close to you. without saying a word, his fingers brush lightly against your cheek, making you hold your breath. his hand moves to tuck a damp strand of hair behind your ear, carefully pushing it out of the way so it doesn’t fall into your food.

the gesture is so unexpectedly gentle that it catches you off guard, and for a second, you’re just left there, staring at him.

he looks at you sincerely. in his eyes, you can see his defeat.

you don’t know if it was the gesture or the look in his eyes—but your words slip out of your mouth faster than you can think to stop it.

“she was too loud.”

he tilts his head at you.

“oh,” jungkook connects. his expression stiffens for a split second, then he schools it back into calm. “overheard, did you?” he asks, leaning in slightly, voice a low murmur.

“oh, i definitely heard,” you reply, folding her arms, feigning thoughtfulness. “don’t act so cocky… she sounded like she was faking it.”

he stares, jaw flexing, and for a moment, there’s a flicker of something challenging in his eyes.

“that’s cute coming from someone who couldn’t even stay for dinner.”

suddenly that pang of jealousy again hits again.

you know you should just brush it off… keep your cool and act nonchalant about it—but something about jungkook just makes you feel so off balance.

“maybe i had better things to do,” you retort.

“like what?”

you shrug.

“like leave.”

“you should’ve knocked,” jungkook smirks. “i would’ve opened the door. we don’t mind an audience usually.”

there it is again.

the sick, sinking, icky feeling.

“you two fuck often?”

jungkook looks away, taking a moment to think.

“yeah,” he admits. “what? surprised nerds get laid?”

you stay quiet.

“i mean.. it’s not really any of your business…" he mutters, though there’s a tension in his voice that doesn’t match his casual shrug. you can tell he's trying to brush it off, but the way his jaw tightens betrays him.

you feel your stomach tighten, the words you threw out lingering in the air between you, each one heavier than the last. you weren’t expecting him to react like this—maybe a joke or a deflecting comment—but not this…

tension.

"right," you reply, your tone softer than you intended. you glance down at your food, suddenly losing your appetite. the casual air you were hoping for is long gone, replaced by an uncomfortable silence that neither of you seems willing to break.

jungkook shifts uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck before clearing his throat.

"look, it’s not like that," he adds quickly, but the words sound almost too defensive. "she’s just... i don’t know. it’s nothing serious."

you don’t respond immediately, still caught up in the strange mix of feelings his words stir in you. the way he said it—like it was nothing serious—feels too much like an attempt to distance himself from whatever was going on.

you’re not sure what you wanted from this conversation, but now all you feel is a growing knot in your chest.

"yeah," you mutter, trying to sound indifferent, but the weight of his words hangs in the air, making your throat feel tight. "whatever you say—”

“why do you care anyway?” jungkook’s voice is sharp now, a slight edge creeping into his tone as he looks at you, his expression shifting from defensive to something you can’t quite place.

you’re caught off guard by the question.

you weren’t prepared for that, weren’t prepared for the way it makes your chest tighten. why do you care? it’s not like you have any right to, right?

you open your mouth, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you just shrug, trying to play it cool, but you can feel your pulse quicken.

"i don’t. i just—"

"you just what?" he interrupts, his brow furrowing, as though he’s not buying the act. "you’ve never cared before. why start now?"

you clench your fists at your sides, feeling the sting of his words more than you want to admit. There’s a part of you that wants to tell him—tell him how seeing him with her, hearing them laugh together, makes something ugly twist in your stomach.

but you can’t.

"i don’t know," you finally mutter, your voice quieter than before. “it's weird. like, of course i knew you weren't a virgin but... are you actually that good? then again… doesn’t take much to fake sounds like her.”

jungkook’s eyes flicker to yours, something unreadable passing through them before he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. then, he smirks.

it’s more calculated, though… like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

"curious?"

"disgusted, actually."

a beat.

"what, you wanted it to be you?" he asks, his voice smooth, a challenge in his tone.

you almost choke on your breath, but you recover quickly. "me? sleeping with you? please."

he lets out a low laugh, but it’s not playful this time.

it’s more mocking.

“yeah, i mean, i don’t even want you that bad…" he takes a slow look at you, like he's mentally assessing you, deciding if you’re worth his time. "not even close."

the words sting more than they should, but you keep your composure.

you try to look unbothered, but his next words twist the knife a little deeper.

“fuck you.”

"you wish i’d fuck you," he remarks, almost casually, like it's no big deal. "would make things easier, huh?"

your chest tightens, and something about the way he says it makes your blood run cold. It’s not just teasing anymore—it’s a jab.

but you refuse to let him see how much it affects you.

"i’m not interested in you," you shoot back, your voice betraying none of the discomfort you’re feeling.

he leans in a little, eyes never leaving yours.

"really?"

“really.”

his smirk widens, and you can feel the tension crackling in the air.

“guess what? i think you care more than you're letting on. you act like you don’t give a shit, but it’s so obvious you’re just pissed it’s not you in my bed."

you bite your lip, trying to keep your voice steady, but something betrays you in the way your heart races.

"i’m not pissed," you mutter, the words coming out too quickly, like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as him. "why would i be?"

jungkook watches you for a moment, taking in every little reaction.

"i don’t know, ___," he says, his tone low and teasing, like he’s enjoying every second of this. "but it’s cute. you’re all flushed, trying to act like you don’t care, but i can see right through you."

you grit your teeth, wanting to snap back, but instead, you just look away.

"shut up," you mutter, frustrated with yourself more than anything. "you’re such an asshole sometimes, you know?"

he laughs again, but this time there’s something darker in it, almost like he's reveling in your frustration.

“i don’t think you’re as immune to me as you pretend to be," he says. "but hey, don’t stress about it, baby. i’m not that interested either. i mean, what’s the fun in fucking you? it’d be harder getting rid of you than getting in your pants.”

you feel the sting of his words hit harder than they should.

“are you done?” you mutter, forcing a nonchalant tone. "and don't call me baby. you called her baby. i don't want to be associated—"

"you think you'd fold as fast as she did?"

jungkook’s eyes flicker with something that could almost be amusement—or maybe something else. he clears his throat.

“shit, ___. i’m sorry—”

“yeah?”

you don't know why, but something inside you snaps.

you shift your body close to him. so close that you glance at his lips, then back up to his eyes, as if you’re weighing something—daring him to make a move.

jungkook’s body tenses, his breath shallow, like he's ready to close the distance… to make some sort of move. his lips part slightly as if he's about to speak, but before he can, you push him away.

now, he’s tongue tied.

“shit, jungkook... i'm sorry," you mock him. "but you're wrong... this is fun."

#h reads

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jooniperbonsai · 1 month ago

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㋡🥀

#me

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jooniperbonsai · 1 month ago

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This. Was. So. Cute.

And now I want hot chocolate. Really love your writing style too. It feels so effortless and fresh 🩷

Title: When the leaves turn red

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Summary: A cosy weekend away for two at a cabin sounds perfect, but you had no idea just how perfect it could be.

Genre: Established relationship / smut / fluff / proposal /

Rating: 18+ (NSFW)

Warnings: Unprotected shower sex (wrap it before you tap it) / use of shower head during sex / oral (f.receiving) / fingering / creampie / explicit language / talk of marriage /

W/C: 2.8k

Banner: me

Beta: @downbad4yoongi and @moonleeai thank you both so much!

Notes: this is for the "fall for you" event with @k-vanity my prompts were: Satay chicken noodle soup with squash - a cosy night in with a book and a mug of hot chocolate by the fireplace turns into something you could've never expected. Red maple cinnamon mocha: “Is being stuck in this cabin all day while it rains a bad thing? I think it's perfect.”

The sound of your feet on the wooden steps echo through the trees as you jog up to the porch, escaping the sheet of rain that fell the moment your car arrived. Looking down at your drenched clothes as they uncomfortably cling to your skin, you can't help the laugh that escapes you.

“Well, this is unexpected weather. Even for autumn,” you begin, as you wring the water out of the bottom of your shirt, “it definitely wasn't on the forecast when I checked earlier today.”

When you get no response from Namjoon, you glance at him. Unusually quiet, he stares at the rainfall with a frown wrinkling his brow.

“Hey,” you say, flicking water from your cuff at him in an attempt to recapture his attention, “who's upset you, and do I need to fight them?”

He doesn't react, his mouth not even twitching at your joke. “We can't do the waterfall trek today. Do you realise that? It'll be too muddy to get there,” he responds, his sombre and irritated tone surprising you.

Attempting to ease his tension, you squeeze his broad shoulders, hoping to offer some reassurance. “We still have tomorrow and Sunday to be able to do that, Joon. The waterfall’s not going anywhere.”

You notice how his jaw clenches and juts out as he chews the inside of his cheek, which he only does when annoyed.

“I know that, but I wanted us to go today.”

A slight frown creases your forehead as you attempt to understand his determination. Reaching up on your tiptoes, you press kisses to his taut shoulders. The combination of the hard muscles and wet clothes against your lips calls out to you, making your insides feel electric. Sighing against him, you push your want aside.

“Maybe the rain won't last long and we can go later?”

He relaxes slightly under your touch, melting into it. “Hm.” he agrees, reluctantly. “I just…I had a plan for today, and now it's ruined.”

“In the words of Winston Churchill, however beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results,” you quote.

He looks over his shoulder at you then, with thoughtfulness in his eyes that you could get lost looking at. “What do you mean?”

“Is being stuck in this cabin all day while it rains a bad thing? I think it's perfect,” you respond, leaning against him again. “Besides,” your hands travel down the front of his shirt that clings flatteringly to his abs. Sliding your finger across them, enjoying the uneven path, mapping the way to a promise of pleasure, “all I want to do right now is take these wet clothes off and have a hot shower. Would you care to join me?”

His head jerks your way, full attention devoted back to you, and that frown suddenly irons out into surprise instead. He turns in your embrace, his arms sliding slowly around your waist and pulling you flush against him. The hard planes of his body mould to your curves, making your skin flush with heat, in contrast to the fabric wrapping itself in an ice blanket around your limbs.

His heated eyes are so focused on your mouth as you smirk up at him that you can't help but toy at your bottom lip with your teeth. His thumb is on it instantly, gently pulling it out and crashing his mouth to yours.

Heat consumes your body like a rapid forest fire. Your fingers desperately cling to the lapels of his flannel shirt and attempt to pull him even closer. The arm he holds around your waist tightens while his other hand slides down your leg, curving under your knees before lifting you off the ground making it seem effortless.

He carries you across the porch, lips attached to yours as you fumble with the keys in your pocket. Reluctantly, you pull yourself away only to unlock and push open the cabin door, before he kicks it shut behind him

“You know, you're only supposed to carry me across the threshold when we're married.”

His body stiffens under your touch, and you roll your eyes, giggling.

“Relax, Joonbug, this isn't a proposal. I'm just testing your reaction.”

He smiles, but his eyes glance around the room awkwardly, a hint of crimson dusting his cheeks.

“Note to self: do not discuss marriage yet. Revisit at a later date,” you say mechanically, your tone mocking.

He sets you down, but his arms remain firmly around your waist, pinning you against him. “I'm happy to discuss anything that involves a future with you. You just caught me off guard, is all.”

Surprised by his openness, you arch a brow in his direction. “Is that so?”

He leans down and places a soft, gentle kiss against your lips. The heat from before dissipates and is replaced with love and adoration as his thumb gently strokes your cheek—an action so tender it almost brings tears to your eyes. His forehead meets yours, and your eyes close, savouring this moment and marking it in your treasured memories.

“How about this…” he whispers, “I'll light the fire, warm this place up a bit, while you run the shower so I can warm you up.” He kisses the corner of your mouth, trailing down and leaving wet prints of his lips against your throat. His breath, a ghostly caress against your skin, “Then I'll make us both my famous hot cocoa, and we can spend the rest of the day talking about the future if you'd like?”

Your chest heaves, feeling full and ready to burst with love for this man. Your body and mind are in two different places, reading from two different books.

“And this is one of the many reasons why I love you, Joonbug.” On tip-toes you kiss him tenderly, feeling him smile against your mouth.

“I'm glad you're with me for more than just my cocoa-making skills,” he jokes, slapping you on the behind as you turn and head inside the bedroom.

Glancing back, feeling mischievous, you add, “Of course, you also have a really big…”

Your eyes travel the length of his body. He raises an eyebrow with a smirk playing across his mouth, before your gaze flickers back up to meet his.

“...heart.”

His laughter rings out around the cabin. Glancing around the space you'll spend the next three days in, you admire the wicker rocking chair in the corner. The soft sofa with cushions so big it looks like you could disappear into it and the sheepskin rug in front of the log fire—a picture-perfect vacation for the two of you.

“I'll see you and your big heart in a minute,” you say, winking before heading into the ensuite bathroom.

Turning on the shower, you peel off your wet clothes, shivering from the cold that sends instant goosebumps creeping across your skin.

Thinking about this time away with Namjoon and all the possible ways to spend your time. Impatience soars through you, wanting him inside you but also dying to know what he sees for a future between you. You’re eager to know what the time ahead looks like for him and if it matches what plays out in your mind.

Your core throbs for him, melting within and ready to accommodate him. Your head feels weightless, floating high up on clouds made of butterflies and his sweet words.

Stepping under the water, you bask in its warmth, goosebumps breaking out across your skin. When you hear the door open and click closed, your insides are alight again. Keeping your back to him, you continue to enjoy the water cascading down your front, warming your body. Hearing the clang of his belt as his trousers hit the floor, your excitement grows, butterflies swarming a tornado of arousal.

Climbing in behind you, his body encases yours, instantly warming your back. When his lips touch the skin of your shoulder, it almost burns from the bolt of desire that courses through you.

Turning in his grasp, your breasts slide across his chest, and he pounces. Urgent, needy kisses trail down your neck and make their way to your bust. Sucking the erect nubs into his mouth happens so fast your body jolts in surprise.

His hands are everywhere.

You can't keep up with the sensations, your breathing fast and ragged in your chest, needing to feel more of him. He slowly lowers to the shower floor, his plush lips trailing a searing path down your stomach, leaving you to revel at the sight. He smirks up at you, knowing how much you enjoy him at your mercy, especially now, with the water trickling down his handsome face.

His fingers spread you open, moaning in appreciation as he exposes your sensitive bud. Once his tongue touches you, unsteady on your feet, you grip at the walls, fingers sliding uselessly down the wet tiles. His tongue swirls relentlessly around your clit, stealing the breath from your lungs. Your fingers in his hair hold you up, but your legs shake beneath you. His hand grips your rear, pushing you closer and smothering him with your cunt.

“Fuck, Joon,” you gasp as you teeter on the edge of the precipice of inexplicable pleasure.

He slowly slides a finger inside your throbbing core and beckons you to fall. With every stroke of his finger against that point of bliss inside you and every flick of his tongue, a red-hot poker of pleasure tightens almost uncomfortably inside you.

The water streaming down your body now feels too hot, the air in the bathroom feels too dense. And just as all the sensations feel too much at once, you're falling, leaping off of the cliff and into the abyss. Wave after wave of elation vibrates through your body as you cry out, holding him against you while you ride out your high.

“Turn around,” he commands, his lips brushing against you, making your pulsating core twitch from over-stimulation.

You obey, regardless of your wobbly legs, and bend forward slightly. Standing and positioning himself behind you, his fingers massage your rear and spread open your cheeks slightly. When the tip of his cock touches your entrance, a whimper escapes you. He feels so hot against you, hotter than the warm water cascading down the arch of your back.

He rolls his hips ever so slightly, pushing his head in gently before pulling it out. Teasing your pussy opening, but it's nowhere near enough, the taunting is too much for you to take.

“Joonie, please,” you whine, thrusting your backside back to meet him.

“You want more?” he asks, his voice so deep, so sexy you find yourself growling in response.

He chuckles before pushing himself into you, opening you up, stretching you until you swallow him entirely. When he is finally buried to the hilt, he pauses, his breathing now as fast as yours. His hand runs up the length of your spine, humming in appreciation as he rocks back and forth into you. His groans echo in the confines of the shower stall, accompanied by the sound of his wet skin slapping against yours with every powerful thrust.

Rolling his hips just the way you like, hitting that yearning spot inside, still hungry and not sated yet. Your fingers fan out against the tiles as you hold yourself up, bracing yourself every time he plunges deep inside you.

His hand slides to your front, grabbing one of your breasts and squeezing it gently, using it as an anchor to pound into you faster. You clench am, and the hiss from his lips sends shivers down your spine despite the heat within this glass cage.

“That's how you like it, isn't it, baby?” He says through ragged breaths. You know he's nearing his end as his pace slows slightly and his grunts grow louder.

“Fuck, yes,” you squeak out, face now pressed against the wall, arms having given in, unable to keep you up any longer.

You see the shadow of his arm reaching up on the shiny tiles and hear the click of the shower head disconnecting: the water pressure changes and moves down your body. You cry out as he places it between your legs, the harsh massage from the water bringing you closer to the edge of the abyss once again.

“That feel good, baby?” he whispers.

Words die in your throat as all you can do is nod while you gasp. Your swollen core flutters around him as you chase your high, grinding yourself against his cock as he plunges into you.

“That's it, baby,” he mutters soothingly. “Let go for me.”

He leans over, kissing your shoulder blades, and the added sensation of his lips on your skin tips you over the edge. Crashing into the pool of ecstasy, you're blinded by white light as your orgasm hits. Your pussy contracts and milks him to his simultaneous end. His hips stutter as his warm seed fills you, both of you riding out your high as one.

As your breathing slows, and he slides out of you, making you feel empty but sated, his arms cradle around your stomach, holding you up. Pulling you to him, he peppers soft kisses from your mouth to your ear.

“I love you,” he whispers.

A sleepy smile stretches across your face. “I love you, too.”

He smoothes your wet hair away from your face, looking at you with complete adoration.

He grabs a fresh bar of soap on the shelf inside the shower and unwraps it, chucking the rubbish over the top. Lathering it up in his hands, he spreads it quickly all over his body and then yours, being particularly gentle as his hands massage every inch of your body.

“I'm going to make that cocoa now. You finish up, and we can get settled in front of the fire, hm?” he says as he rinses off.

You nod, watching him as he climbs out, dries himself, and leaves the bathroom. Blissfully, you relish the warm water on your skin and relax into the steam surrounding you. When your pleasure-hazed brain floats back down to earth, you climb out and get ready to return to him.

Feeling much cosier in your hoodie and sweatpants, you head back out to the living area with your book tucked under your arm, but when you open the bedroom door, your mouth drops at the sight that greets you.

There were dozens of candles scattered all around the room. A pathway of flickering lights across the floor led to the fireplace, where Joon stood waiting, holding mugs topped with whipped cream and marshmallows.

Your heart swells, beating as fast as your legs carry you to him. You close the distance, suddenly feeling shy under his loving gaze, and take your drink from him.

“You are a god,” you say, smiling as you take a sip and wince from the molten-hot liquid. Clearly, too eager to wait for it to cool, you tear your gaze away from him momentarily to place it on the fireplace. When you turn back to him, he's kneeling before you, a chunky black box in his hand.

Any words you had were swallowed down with a gulp of sudden nerves.

The fire is roaring beside you, orange light flickers beautifully on one side of his face, making you want to reach out and touch him but resist as he starts to speak.

“I had a plan to do this a different way, something precise and thought out, but you're right,” he sighs, taking your hand in his, “sometimes things work out perfectly regardless.”

Unable to believe the scene before you, you remain still as if any movement or sound will shatter its illusion.

“You see, I have something to confess…” he holds the box out, a box that holds more than just a ring, but your entire future inside.

Tears fill your eyes in an instant, making him a blurry figure in front of you. You swipe them quickly away, not wanting to miss a moment, ingraining it in your mind.

“I would be honoured,” he smiles bashfully, revealing his dimples, and takes a calming breath. “If you would be my wife?”

As soon as the anticipated words are out and in the air surrounding you, your arms are around his neck. He falls back as your body slams into his, the two of you giggling like school children.

“Is that a yes?” he asks, winding one arm around your waist, pinning you to him.

Nodding frantically, the tears spill, leaving glistening trails down your cheeks in the candlelight.

He sits you both up so you're straddling his lap and opens the box. It's perfect. It's just your style. Everything about it had so much thought behind it, bringing a new rush of emotion.

He removes the ring, his long fingers holding it so delicately, as if it might shatter under his touch, and slides it gently on your finger. It’s a perfect fit. You are not surprised, the man never ceases to amaze you.

Clasping your hand gently in his, he brings your fingers up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles. When his shining eyes meet yours, so open and full of love, you're unable to help the way your insides melt as you crash your lips against his once again.

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jooniperbonsai · 1 month ago

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you have to outlive donald trump

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jooniperbonsai · 1 month ago

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i wanna know what everyone’s majors are mutuals i want to know i love you and i’m interested

#Bach in English with writing emphasis #master of fine arts in creative writing (poetry)#wanted to minor in psych but never could get into classes #and now I work in arts administration/marketing/communications

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jooniperbonsai · 2 months ago

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I’ve been really fortunate to live a life and have the experiences I’ve had where regardless of what the election results were, I knew I would have to continue to do the work. It’s the bare minimum of my existence of being a white cis woman. It’s the recognition of being in my thirties and knowing I care about future generations and want to give them what I could not have and I need to protect them with the knowledge and experiences I have.

It’s knowing I spent years pursuing higher education degrees and became the most educated woman and the first woman to receive a bachelors degree, and ALSO the first woman to receive a masters degree within my bloodline. I am doing the work my ancestors couldn’t. And while I know that my place within communities is best educating and creating spaces where language can flow and communicate and decode and inspire and comfort, it took me a long time to arrive here.

Each person is going to have their own strengths and tools to bring to a collective. You might not know yours yet, but you are just as important and needed in your community as you’ve ever been. Regardless if a political system is backing you up or not. We keep us safe. There is hope there. And love and resistance and devastation all the same. Just as ancestors before us did the same thing to lead to a life that isn’t just survival.

Please know that you are welcome to mourn. And you also exist as I exist. And together we are building the world that protects and cares for each other. Despite it all. We will do it anyway. That’s what it means to live.

My inbox is open. My heart is reaching to you to know that if it means creating a safe world for you, if it’s the thing that helps you feel sane and safe, I’ll write it a million times over so you know that there’s a world outside of all of this that will help you carry the load of your reality.

Be safe. Be gentle with yourself. Be curious and sad and in love and angry and hopeful. If ancient paintings and poems have survived thousands of years of war and oppression and still ring messages of hope, so can you.

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jooniperbonsai · 2 months ago

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I just read chapter 6 of thx for the sub and UGH so good as always!!! I just need them to tell each other that they know already 🤣🤣

LOL they are introverted anxious people who know how to say horribly inappropriate things but not the elephant in the room 😂

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jooniperbonsai · 2 months ago

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This was really tender 😭🥺

Lilac Wine

pairing: ljh x afab!reader genre: angst, smut (MINORS DNI!!!!!) | wc: 2.7k warnings: infidelity, unprotective sex (wrap it before u tap it kids), crying a/n: loosely based on melt by josef salvat // i’m dedicating this to link @choism (who also made the banner, love u) // huge thanks to maren @wooahaeproductions for beta-ing (your comments always give me life)!

In the dark, Jihoon learns how to break you apart and build you back together, piece by piece.

It begins slowly; a movie night where you drift off to sleep on his shoulder, after having cried yourself hoarse. Jihoon learns that night that he absolutely hates your boyfriend. He also learns that he could love you so much better, if you'd only give him the chance.

Jihoon sits frozen in the dimly lit room, his eyes locked on your sleeping form. He takes in the small details, the curve of your lips and the flutter of your eyelashes as you breathe. He can see the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, the way your hair falls delicately over your face, and the scattered constellations of moles that decorate your skin. He takes in every detail, committing it to memory with an unwavering gaze.

And then, like you can feel his gaze on you, you startle awake. And you don't push him away. No, you lay your head on his shoulder, and it takes every working nerve in Jihoon's sleep-addled mind not to kiss you right there. But you look so pretty like this, staring up at him from under your eyelashes, and he thinks he might die. But he'll be damned if he dies here without having kissed you, without having showed you how much better it could be - so he does. And you absolutely melt into him with a soft sigh, like you've been waiting for this too.

And so, late at night, Jihoon learns exactly where to put his lips so you make the prettiest noises. When his lips finds the junction where your neck meets your shoulder, you gasp, arching into him, and it makes him almost combust on the spot. And the he remembers.

The boyfriend, the traitorous voice in his mind reminds him, and he breaks apart from you with a startled gasp. Your chest is heaving, your lips are kiss-bitten and plump, and Jihoon has never felt this guilty in his entire life.

“We can’t,” he breathes, and it breaks his heart. In his heart, he knows, more deeply and more powerfully than anything he’s ever known before, how much better he would be for you. But he can’t, not right now, and the thought cleaves his chest in two.

“I know,” you whisper back, as if you’re afraid to break this very fragile bubble that exists around just the two of you. Your eyes fill with tears, and Jihoon yearns. It’s like second nature, the way his hand cups your jaw, the way his thumb brushes a stray tear off your cheek. Before he can stop himself, before that traitorous voice can say anything else, he leans in again. His lips find yours, and he can taste the salt of your tears, the bitter taste of your guilt.

He should stop. He should. But then you kiss him back, again, and every rational thought flies out the window. His hands find the hem of your shirt, and you shiver so delightfully against him when his cold fingers find your warm skin.

“Jihoon-”

Jihoon's breath is hot against the nape of your neck, his words a desperate plea mixed with intense desire. "Tell me to stop," he whispers, his voice reverberating with urgency. "I'll do anything you say."

But you don't. Instead, your fingers thread through his hair, pulling him closer. Your body arches into his touch, craving more, and he groans, kissing down your neck with a fervor that makes his head spin. Your skin feels like fire, but he’s so willing to let himself burn, even if it’s only for tonight.

"We shouldn't," you whisper, even as your hands roam beneath his shirt, tracing the contours of his back.

Jihoon pulls back slightly, his dark eyes searching yours. "Do you want me to stop?" he asks again, his voice husky and strained.

You shake your head, unable to form the words. He sees the hesitance dancing in your eyes. It's wrong, you know it's wrong, but it feels so right. Your fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt, trembling with a mix of anticipation and guilt. Jihoon's breath catches in his throat as your hands slide across his bare chest. He pulls back slightly, searching your eyes for any sign of hesitation or regret. But all he finds is a reflection of his own desire, burning just as brightly.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” you breathe, and Jihoon knows that he’ll worship you for as long as he can have you. He’ll lose himself in you, over and over.

And so, in the dark, as the movie credits play, Jihoon learns the curve of your neck, the softness of your skin. He memorizes the cadence of your voice, the rhythm of your heartbeat, the taste of your lips. You are his religion, and he worships at your altar with reverent hands and whispered prayers.

With each touch, each kiss, Jihoon feels himself falling deeper. He knows this moment is fleeting, stolen in the shadows of night, but he can't bring himself to stop. His fingers trace patterns on your skin, mapping out constellations he'll never forget. Every sigh, every shiver, every soft moan is etched into his memory. They linger in the deepest corners of his mind, like delicate brushstrokes on a canvas, a masterpiece of sensation that he will never tire of admiring.

As clothes fall away, discarded on the floor, Jihoon takes his time. He wants to savor every second, every sensation. His lips ghost over your collarbone, down your chest, across your stomach. He feels your fingers tighten in his hair, hears your breath hitch. His hands find the elastic of your panties, and suddenly, it’s like he can’t breathe.

"Jihoon," you whisper, his name a prayer on your lips.

He looks up at you, drinking in the sight. Your hair is mussed, cheeks flushed, eyes dark with desire. You've never looked more beautiful. He finds your clit, and the sound you make sounds better than anything he could create in his studio. It’s heaven and hell, all at once, the way your hips grind against his palm, the scent of your arousal permeating his senses.

“Fuck,” he hisses, sliding your soaked panties down your thighs, “you’re so fucking wet.”

Your breath catches at his words, a shiver running through your body. Jihoon's fingers move with deliberate slowness, teasing and exploring. He watches your face intently, memorizing every flutter of your eyelashes, every parting of your lips. If this is the only time he’ll ever have this, then by God, he wants to remember everything, so he can play it back, night after night.

"Please," you whimper, your hips bucking against his hand.

Jihoon's breath catches in his throat. He's dreamed of this moment for so long, imagined the sound of your voice begging for him. But reality is so much sweeter, so much more intoxicating. Jihoon feels drunk on the power of your pleasure, on the way you respond to his every caress. He slides one finger inside you, then another, marveling at the tight, wet heat. Your walls clench around him, and he has to bite back a groan.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your inner thigh. "So perfect."

His thumb circles your clit as his fingers curl inside you, searching for that spot that makes you see stars. When he finds it, you cry out, your back arching off the couch.

“More,” you plead, your voice a husky whisper that cuts straight through him, igniting every nerve ending. The need in your voice is intoxicating, and he obeys without a second thought. Your fingers tangle in his hair, urging him on as if you can’t get close enough, can’t pull him into you fast enough. “God, you’re exquisite,” he breathes, the words escaping him as he drinks in the sight of you. And then he’s there, his mouth on you, and it’s as if his world has exploded into color. You taste like a sinner’s salvation, sweet and salty and like guilt. Like lilac wine—bittersweet and intoxicating—you linger on his tongue, the taste of something forbidden yet holy, and he drinks you in, helplessly devout.

Jihoon’s tongue works in tandem with his fingers—each movement deliberate as he relishes the way your body writhes above him, how you tug at his hair as if you can't stand to have him any closer. Your thighs tremble around his head, and he can’t help but revel in the way your body responds to him. Your breath comes in short, desperate gasps, and he knows you’re getting close with each flick and curl of his fingers.

He feels your walls fluttering around him, tightening in a way that makes his heart race. It’s a thrilling sensation, knowing he’s bringing you to the edge. With every gentle press of his fingers, he can see the pleasure building inside you, your body arching in anticipation.

“Please, Jihoon,” you whimper, and that plea ignites something deep within him. He’s captivated by how beautifully you’re coming apart in his hands, and it drives him mad.

“Let go for me,” he murmurs against you, adding a little more pressure with his thumb as his fingers pick up the pace. The room is filled with the sound of your soft moans, and he watches your expressions shift with every movement, completely entranced.

Just when he thinks he can’t take it anymore, he feels you tighten around him, trembling as your body responds to the building waves of pleasure. For a second, Jihoon swears he reaches nirvana; the sounds you make race through him like lightning bolts.

“Let go,” he urges softly, and in that moment, your body shudders, and a cry of bliss escapes your lips. Jihoon feels a rush of satisfaction wash over him as you come undone beneath him, skin glowing with exertion. Jihoon works you through it, gentling his movements as you come down from your high. He presses soft kisses to your inner thighs, your stomach, slowly making his way back up your body.

He looks up at you, eyes glinting with desire, feeling an overwhelming urge to mark this moment forever—the way you look, the way you sound. He nods, as if promising to deliver everything you crave, and rises to lean over you again, capturing your lips with his. The kiss is searing, a desperate scramble of breaths and desires as your tongues entwine. You taste like the rapture, but the taste of your tears sends shockwaves of terror through him. Jihoon knows he is a sinner – but if the road to hell tastes as sweet as you, he’ll make the journey a thousand times over.

Breaking the kiss, Jihoon reaches for his jeans, hastily shedding that last barrier between you. His heart races as he positions himself at your entrance, locking eyes with you in a moment that feels monumental. “Are you sure?” he asks again, the weight of the question lingering between you like a promise, an invitation.

There are tears in your eyes when you take one of his hands in yours, guiding it to rest against your cheek. “Yes,” you whisper, your heart racing in tandem with his. The certainty in your voice ignites a fire within him, erasing every doubt that dared to linger. “I want this. I want you.”

With those words, Jihoon feels something inside him break and reform. He enters you slowly, savoring every inch, every sensation. The feeling is overwhelming, almost spiritual in its intensity. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, meant to be joined. He stills for a moment, forehead pressed against yours, breathing heavily.

"You feel incredible," he breathes, his voice strained with the effort of holding back.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. The moan that escapes your lips is the sweetest sound Jihoon has ever heard. He begins to move, setting a slow, deep rhythm. Each thrust feels like coming home, like finding a piece of himself he never knew was missing.

Your hands roam his back, nails digging in slightly as the pleasure builds. Jihoon kisses you deeply, swallowing your moans. He wants to memorize every sound, every expression, every sensation.

Jihoon's hips snap forward, and you cry out, arching beneath him. He feels drunk on the sounds you make, on the way your body responds to his. The room is filled with the sound of skin against skin, of ragged breaths and soft moans. Jihoon can't tear his eyes away from your face, watching as pleasure washes over you in waves. Your skin is flushed, a light sheen of sweat making you glow in the dim light. He can't take his eyes off you, mesmerized by the way your lips part with each thrust, the way your eyes flutter closed in ecstasy.

"Look at me," he whispers, his voice rough with desire. "I want to see you."

Your eyes open, meeting his gaze. The intensity of the moment is almost too much to bear. Jihoon feels exposed, vulnerable, but he can't look away. He sees everything in your eyes - the pleasure, the guilt, the overwhelming desire. It's a mirror of his own emotions, and it threatens to consume him. Your hands cup his face, pulling him down for a kiss that's both tender and desperate. Jihoon's hips stutter, his rhythm faltering as he loses himself in the taste of your lips. He feels your walls tightening around him, knows you're close.

"Jihoon," you gasp, breaking the kiss. "I'm close..."

He nods, understanding. His hand snakes between your bodies, finding your clit. He circles it with his thumb, matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

"Come for me," he urges, his voice low and husky. "Let me see you fall apart."

Your body responds to his words, to his touch. You're trembling beneath him, teetering on the edge of bliss. Jihoon watches in awe as pleasure washes over you. Your back arches, pressing your chest against his. Your walls clench around him, pulsing with your release. The sight of you coming undone, combined with the feeling of you tightening around him, pushes Jihoon over the edge.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his groan as his hips stutter, driving deep as he spills inside you. For a moment, the world narrows to just the two of you, bodies intertwined, breaths mingling.

As the waves of pleasure subside, reality begins to creep back in. Jihoon lifts his head, meeting your gaze. There's a mix of emotions in your eyes - satisfaction, affection, and a hint of guilt. He knows his own expression must mirror yours.

Slowly, carefully, he pulls out and lies beside you on the narrow couch. You turn to face him, and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from your face. The gesture is tender, intimate in a way that makes his heart ache. Just tonight, he reminds himself. Only for tonight.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly, searching your face for any sign of regret.

Your tears start anew, and Jihoon swears he can hear his own heart crumbling. “Fuck,” you whimper, pulling at the ends of your hair. “Fuck! Jihoon, what did we just do?”

His body aches for you, his soul hungers for yours, but all he can offer is his embrace as he held you close against his chest. He can feel your tears, hot and guilt-ridden, and he feels like he’s just made the biggest mistake in the world.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his own tears falling onto your hair.

Sleep comes slowly, hours later, as the night ends and the next morning begins. It takes him hours to calm your breathing, to soothe your tears, to coax you into a fitful sleep.

He’s sure he’ll never sleep again.

But when he wakes, you’re gone - every trace of you that he had tried so desperately to memorize has been wiped clean from his apartment. It was as if you had never been there at all.

This is what hell feels like, Jihoon thinks to himself.

In the dark, Jihoon learned how to break you apart and build you back together — but in the harsh light of day, it’s him that’s left broken.

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