#but like a little vent not a big vent

[pussysidon]

When I want to not be weird about something but I have literally never been normal about a piece of media in my life

[darkxsoulzyx]

do you guys ever get too scared to post ocs because you’re worried that their design or story isn’t cool enough

And then someone posts their OC/sona that looks super similar to your OC, even though you’ve technically made yours first

And now you’re scared of posting them because you’re afraid someone is gonna try and compare the two, because someone will always do that if they look similar enough

Do you guys ever feel that way or am I just really really stupid

[prince-liest]

One of my 666 extras ideas evolved into something that's almost certainly going to turn big enough to be a whole separate installment, I think!

[taralen]

The past few days have REALLY sucked. Here are some stress doodles venting through the only character I can ever relate to on any meaningful level in three different flavors! 👍🏻

Their character designs are based on my LoveLetter AU ones, and some of the ideas behind these are influenced by stuff I want to happen in it. However, my AU is not relevant to understanding any of these, given the fact that I vomited these on paper from the actual real-life drama I'm dealing with.

[theatrekidenergy]

The trans FTM experience of not knowing how to feel about your detachment from femininity and growing up a woman

[angelpuns]

I wish my parents understood that when I am having a Bad Time ( meltdown) that I need to be left alone because if they come into my room or ask what's wrong or literally even look at me they're actively making it worse

[ace-no-isha]

i miss luffy. the concept of freedom embodied as a person makes me grieve my life a little LMFAO. he is everything to me. he is my dreams as a person. completely free and changing the world. everything i want to be so bad. i adore him. he is a thousand suns to me in his brilliance. id burn the world down for a hug from him. i would do unspeakable things for a taste of the freedom he lives. i miss him. i wish i could reread one piece for the first time again. the joy and grief and anger of that story all over again that makes me feel alive. i want to feel alive like luffy does. stubborn in his place on this earth because he’s got dreams that are worth everything, but also completely content with dying in the process of reaching his dream. and yet still, he refuses to die because it means he can’t protect the ones he loves. he will shave off years of his life if it buys you a second more. he is so fucking selfless in his selfish way of living. he is my everything.

[0xeyedaisy]

Was gonna make a vent post talking abt how everything sucks but then something good happened so I'm okay now, I'm cured

[tangledinink]

bad news: i think i am sleep deprived enough to have opinions on the internet.

one 'trope' that's always really bugged me from the rottmnt fandom is the "poor mikey has to be the family therapist/most emotionally mature even though he's the youngest!!!"

and i mean? like, yeah, the 'family therapist' thing by itself has its merit, because I don't think anyone should have to be the 'family therapist' (though I don't necessarily think that describes mikey? like I think he WANTS to and does 'therapy' his family sometimes but I also don't think that this is something that everyone seeks or expects from him all the time?) but it's more like

the

the youngest thing

it grates on me when people act like it's such a tragedy or injustice that he's 'forced' to emotionally caretake for his family members at times when he's the 'baby.' but it's not like he's some child being taken care of/relied upon by adults? in both the show and most fanwork i've seen with this trope, he's doing a majority of this 'emotional caretaking' for his brothers. and like... raph is literally only two years older than him. why is it so messed up if mikey happens to have some more emotional maturity than him in some areas? why is it so horrendous if mikey takes care of raph? just because raph's a couple years older than him? this means it's bad for raph to ask for or want their sibling to take care of them sometimes? mikey shouldn't have to provide any emotional support or care, but raph should?

why is mikey not able to provide emotional support for his family without it being viewed as toxic or tragic just because he's the youngest? this is basically expected of raph as the eldest by the fandom. sure, there's lots of "aw poor raph had to raise his brothers" type stuff (which I also don't really agree with but that's another thing) but it's always in a light of "it's so messed up that raph had to parent his brothers instead of their dad" rather than "it's so tragic that raph is providing emotional support for his younger brother."

i hate this idea that because raph, leo, and donnie are a couple years older than mikey, they are able to protect and caretake for him and that's cute, wholesome "good sibling" content, but if mikey does the same for them, it's somehow tragic angst and reflects poorly on raph/leo/donnie.

[deadwooddross]

An answer to the question “what one fancy meal can they make well” from a bit ago... Hive city food is likely mostly imports, corpse starch, algae, rats...Thavu probably ate more freaky ice leeches and Leather Boot Stew than she ever did carrots. BUT I like to think some places can manage to grow a Couple things with a bit of luck. And work, probably some bribes...managing to grow your own 6 carrots a year is probably considered a crime, that’s rich people food. So the carrots and berries are probs a Treat, but there’s no way the penguigeon isnt some sort of staple. It’s a pigeon!!! you cant convince me 8 billion gmo’d variations of the Meat Pigeon didn’t follow humanity into the grimdark future!!

[thedragonsfate]

FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Truly sorry people have forgotten the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" adage. But also that others are sending you the not so nice things that are being said. Like, that definitely kinda sucks too. Best to you and focusing on things that make you happy!

Oh god everyone's being so nice now I'm so embarrassed.

You're very kind dear. Well the people sending me stuff are only sending me nice things! At least on the main post! But then there will be comments or replies that complain about it - oh I don't like them anymore because they wrote BT, etc.

(Side note - BT stands for BuckTaylor so people using it for BuckTommy - dear GOD please stop. The ship names are confusing enough with y'all picking like ten of them. Please. I am smol and confuséd.)

So the people sending this stuff are well-intentioned. I only meant to explain why (among many other reasons) I won't listen to the (again, well-intentioned) people who say oh my gosh you're missing out on all the kind things people are saying on these other sites! I appreciate all that kindness, really I do and I'm so very lucky to have such enthusiasm and such love for my writing. But I would honestly rather miss out on some of it if it means that I'm protected from seeing the more spoiled or bad faith actors. I have seen very very little 'discourse' over this whole ship war that's sprung up and I'm glad for that, but part of how I've avoided it is by purposefully staying very much in my lane, not go looking through tags, and honestly even deeply limiting who I follow.

Honestly I don't let it usually bother me. 90% of people are so kind and lovely, and I know that the people being angry are not the majority. And I doubt that most of the people complaining even view it as all that deep, they're just venting because they're annoyed and being overly dramatic as we tend to be in fandom because acting overly dramatic is how we do everything around here (hell knows I do it too). I'm just really struggling in my 'real life' and having a bad day so it just kind of got to me, especially since my next three fics are BuddieTommy and I won't be publishing any Buddie until Halloween, and I was feeling kinda low like great, I'm gonna publish these and people will talk shit I guess. Not fun! I gotta say!

But I am and will be okay. I honestly did not expect my inbox to explode the way it just did when I vented in those tags. I, uh, don't expect people to care? that much? which sounds bad but I just mean that I don't expect people to pay all that much attention to me. So it's very sweet that people are sending me love and support.

Thank you for your kindness and thank you to everyone else. I really don't want this to be a Thing so I'm answering all other asks privately. Thank you dears.

[fuckyeah-bears]

it’s taking so much fucking self control not to respond pettily to something over on bearotonin

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I am exhausted, good heavens.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

current editing moodboard, please send help

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Life sucks bc how is anyone meant to see me and take me seriously when I tell them my name is Evan lol