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#And everybody is struggling too much to help me anyway and. And
lucyvaleheart · 3 months
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teddybeartoji · 5 months
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mickey i need ur thoughts on jjk men (esp satoru) helping out and showing love for their partner with autism
like uuuuuuuu i was thinking abt toru keeping a pair of his sunglasses with him hust in case youre visually overwhelmed. ORRRR him teleporting you to a quieter space when he notices that theres too many complex sounds that are upsetting you.
ughhhhh like imagine one of them remembering that pressure is soothing for you and js puts their full body weight whenever you come back home from a bad day.
GUHHHH them keeping candles of your favorite scents and alwaya makes sure to keep your safe foods stocked up whenever you visit
OH NOW I'M REALLY KISSING YOU GRAY MY BELOVED!!! THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL LITTLE ASK WAHHH I GOT SO GIDDY
i agree with everything you said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i know that every single one of them would do anything and everything to help you out!! but i did pick some things out that really made me think of them!!! anyway hello my fellow autistic ppl this one is for you all i love you very very much<333
satoru 100% carries extra sunglasses with him and i think he'd actually carry his black blindfold aswell. obvs he's not gonna make you wear it as you're moving through public but he'd lead you to a quiet spot and then just let you have a moment. he's either sitting you down next to him or he's holding you against his chest, protecting you from every single ray of light that could possibly make it any worse for you. bc honestly... sunglasses are sometimes just not enough for me personally. i've had my fair share of times where i just have to cover my eyes with my hands bc it just hurts so much.
we all know that satoru is a big yapper but i know he needs his quiet time too. i think he would love to just Do Nothing with you in complete silence. maybe you're both just taking a nap together, maybe you're just laying in the sun out in the park. maybe you're resting your head on his lap, maybe he's resting his on yours. it's all just about gentle touches and looks.
he loves it when you ramble and he's literally your biggest hypeman!! he's ready to spend all of his fucking money on you and any fucking equipment you could ever need. you want a new game or a new console? they're both already waiting for you at home. you want to start drawing? he has already ordered a tablet for you to practise on. you want to get into photography? he's buying you a camera and three different lenses. he wants you to be happy and he wants you to be able to do everything you could ever possibly want. he's just the sweetest guy ever i am crying rn actually:((
he's the best little autism bf btw. bc he gets it. he understand. he knows. he knows all about the light sensitivity. he knows all about the difficulty of eating "normal" foods, always munching on candy and snacks bc that's just easier. he knows about the fidgeting, he knows about the innate need to have somebody lay on top of you. he knows about the rambling and the hyperfixations. he knows about the confusing social clues and the ridiculous differences of speaking tones. he knows about the eye-contact problems - whether you're someone, who struggles to keep it or you're someone, who can't tear your eyes from everybody else just like him - he understands! he knows about being straighforward and speaking exactly what's on your mind and then being scolded for it. he knows about Not Really Understanding personal space. he truly does understand and he's ready to do anything and everything to help you cope with Life.
toji is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee best weighted blanket and i stand by that. he's so fucking huge and he's so fucking heavy - he's perfect. he's gonna tease you about it but just a little!! you tug him by his hand and he gladly takes his place on top of you bc let's be honest... he's gonna love it, too. he's protecting you! he's taking care of you in a way that doesn't need words! he's trying his best! and if this is what you need - he is going to do it!!!
also with the light and sound sensitivity - he'd gladly pull you into his chest and cover your eyes with his big ass palm. and it would feel soo comforting wtf. the weight of it and just the fact that it's him?? fuck, i know it'd be so good. or your ears. he's placing them on your ears, muffling the overwhelming sounds while cradling you and wahh:(( he'd make you feel so safe.
suguru and shoko and parallel play. it's amazing. they will read a book while you're gaming. or suguru's painting while you're reading. or shoko's having her morning smoke and coffee while you're doing your skincare (i'm sorry i just can't get out the beautiful picture of her sitting on the little windowsill of your bathroom, a cig inbetween her fingers and a cup of coffe in her hand. no words are being spoken - it's just the sound of the birds outside, the water running and her gulping down her little espresso. thank you for listening.)
or suguru's doing his little home workout routine as you're crocheting. or it's you and shoko just laying on your shared bed scrolling on your phones in silence. could literally be whatever. they're gonna glance at you every once in a while, they're gonna ask how you're doing, how you're feeling and then they're gonna give you a tender smile and a kiss on your cheek and continue on. i'm melting just thinking about it.
suguru is obviously also going to be there for you if you have sleeping problems. he understands them all too well and he's pulling out all the stops to help you fall asleep (and himself). he's gonna make the tea one night and you'll make it the next night. it's equal. maybe you're also going to take a lovely little bath together, you'll giggle exhaustedly as you both slur out very stupid jokes and after that you'll both climb under the covers and take turns in listening to each others heartbeats and (hopefully) fall asleep.
shoko and sarcasm. she definitely makes a lot of sarcastic jokes and comments and she'll be a bit confused at first when you just blurt out the good-old "i don't know whether you're joking or not". but i think she'd find it super cute. she'll still occasionally make the comments but she'll make sure to check in whether you got it or not. i think she would tease but she'd do it very lightly (she definitely cackles when satoru doesn't understand sarcasm though lmao but you're her baby and she doesn't want you to feel bad). and i think she would love if you made terrible sarcastic jokes. like she would laugh until there are tears prickling in her eyes and you'd still be like ????? i don't understand and then she'd laugh even more. she's so cute.
kento is always ready to cook for you. he understands how hard it can be, how overwhelming it can be. he doesn't mind it a bit. i truly think this would be good for the both of you! he loves to cook and it's such a relaxing thing for him, and it's even better now that he knows he can see you fill your cheeks with delight. he needs you to eat well and he will make sure you do!
i also think that he's so patient with you and he'd never ever make you feel like you have to speak with him. he buys little plushies that you can turn inside-out, a pink side and a blue side - indicating how you're doing on the Speaking department that day. and these tiny interactive pins and you can express whatever you're feeling without ever speaking a word. he never pressures you in any way, always just reward you with more reassurance and a kiss to your temple.
he's ALSO the best listener. like he never talks over you. never. not even on an accident???? it's a superpower i think. he let's you talk at your own pace and he just stares at you with very soft eyes:((
wait i also think that shoko, utahime and yuki would gladly speak for you. in a sense of if you have social anxiety or you stutter or anything like that, they'd easily take up the task of ordering for you! they literally have all of your orders remembered and everything.
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jade-jini · 9 months
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could i request my loser gp!sakura who keeps getting a hard on during rehearsels because of seeing reader doing the throwing it back move in Perfect Night 😓 and ofc reader has to helo help!!! duh!!!
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(Pervert Sakura is a popular favorite am I right or am I right yall?)
Sakura looking at you like this as you kept practicing the same moves over and over again ‘cause you couldn’t seem to get them right. At first she was just cheering you up, calling your name and clapping so you could feel supported and motivated by her as the good member and unnie she was<3 but when you were throwing it back -
Even after you got that part perfect, she kept telling you to work on it ‘cause “you weren’t there yet”, she’d say while discreetly fixing her boner in her shorts. What a good unnie, even offering to stay with you when everybody else left so you wouldn’t be alone practicing :((. Whole time she just loved how you moved and wanted to watch you without the risk of the other members and the choreographer catching her. Having to constantly check she wasn’t drooling ‘cause she kept staring at you with her mouth open like a dumbass 😭. Telling you she was gonna help you fix your posture, but it was just an excuse to get her hands on you, rubbing herself against your ass hoping you wouldn’t notice it ‘cause she wanted that feeling in her brain for later on that night when she gets home and touches herself thinking about you.
But Ofc you noticed, girlie was hard af, and too much of a stupid pervert to realize she was being too obvious.
“Unnie, what’s that?” You said, trying to turn around to see what was it that was poking your low back lmao
“W-what’s what?” She asked, trying her best to sound calm.
“I think your belt is hurting me wait”
“No! y/n wait-” she argued, trying to stop you from turning around, she didn’t need one of her members knowing how dirty minded she is :( but as you guys struggled a bit, she fell on her ass. With her hands still on your waist, she took you with her, making you fall seated on her lap. “Oh fuck..” she groaned, the pressure on her cock hurting but not in the bad way at all.
“Oh God, unnie I’m so sorry, are you ok?” You asked her, worried that you might have hurt her since the sounds she was making made it seem like it.
“Hmm y/n wait, stay like that please…” Sakura practically begged, starting to lose a grip on herself, having you so close to her like this making her forget she couldn’t just have you without making sure you were ok with it first. Her hands firm on your body stopping you from getting up. Her behavior got you a little confused, did you actually hurt her? If you did she would’ve tried to get you off her, right?
“What? Kkura unnie are you sure you’re ok? And what’s this on your pocket that keeps poking my leg-” you moved a bit just to give your hand enough space to check what was it on Sakura’s pants, and stopped when you realized. How stupid were you not to think about that possibility before. Sakura gulped, both ‘cause of the contact of your hand with her member, and because you caught her in such an embarrassing state. She was a little scared, what if you were disgusted by it? What if you didn’t wanna be friends with her anymore? What if you tell the others? Oh god, how would this affect the whole group? A million thoughts running through her head, while her other head stayed hard as a rock. However, you were everything but disgusted by this.
“So that’s why you kept telling me to continue practicing, huh?” You said, teasing her neck with your nose, your breath causing shivers on the older girl. “Tell me, unnie. When did I actually get it right, hm? For how long you kept me going just ‘cause you wanted to see me?”
“y/n, I-I’m sorry. I really am, I didn’t mean to-” she started apologizing, her voice trembling.
“Shh, it’s ok. You’re already having a hard time right now anyways, aren’t you?” You asked her, your voice softening as your eyes moved to her covered member. “Does it hurt, unnie?”
She didn’t say anything, she just nodded while her eyes followed yours, ashamed to look at you.
“Then I guess I should help you.”
“Eh?!” Sakura asked looking at you so fast with eyes wide open, not sure if she could trust her ears.
“Oh please, don’t act silly now. We both know this is what you wanted, right?” She nodded again, her face red. “Then let me be good and help my unnie. She helped me enough today with my practicing, right? It’s just compensating.”
And that’s how you ended up sucking her dick while she was seated with her back against the wall, the mirror in front of you guys as she enjoyed looking at you from time to time. Sakura’s cock was so sensitive though, that with every lick your tongue gave it she left out whimper after whimper. The tip turning from a pinkish to a more red color, you couldn’t help but play with it with the tip of your tongue. This making her not know what to do with her hands, they went from rubbing your back as she moaned “so good, baby. So fucking good…” to biting her fingers, to grabbing her own neck slightly with one hand, to her nails scratching the floor and the wall behind her, trying to grab anything while her brain became nothing with the delicious sensation of your mouth on her length. The deeper you got it inside your mouth, the closer you were pushing her to her orgasm.
“Ugh baby I’m so close, just like that…” She asked, her hands grabbing your head and keeping you close, making sure you stay right where you were. “Be good and keep unnie’s cock in your pretty mouth when she cums, ok?” She cooed you, letting you breathe for a few seconds only.
“Yes unnie…” you said, catching your breath as you quickly put her back inside your mouth.
“Good girl, such a good girl.” the older girl moaned, her voice hitting higher tones as she started fucking your mouth. You looked up and felt yourself clenching around nothing as Sakura looked so hot lost in her pleasure. Her eyes closed, biting her lip to try and fail to contain the obnoxious noises coming from her mouth. “Oh my god…” you heard her at the same time that thick ropes of cum went down your throat, barely allowing any air to enter but you didn’t care at all, you felt so good knowing it was your Sakura unnie using you like this. Knowing she was this horribly horny just ‘cause she watched you dancing.
You swallowed everything Kkura gave you, and when the grip on your head got loose, you finally took her cock off your mouth. When you sat next to her, she was still not there, clearly. Processing her orgasm, she just sighed and whispered “thank you..” and Omg she just looked so cute, with her hair all messy and her facial features clean of makeup and relaxed. You just giggled “anytime, unnie~” and kissed her cheek before resting on her shoulder, hoping practice becomes this interesting next time soon.
Ngl I went back to watch the dance performance and I got distracted🧍🏻‍♀️
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moon-tell-me · 9 months
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Them having a crush on you...
The outsiders (separate) x GN! reader
Warnings: nothing I don't think :))
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DARRY CURTIS
It's been a reaalllyy long time since he's felt this way for anyone
So a small part of him is excited when he realizes it
But the majority of him..?
Well.. that's a different story
He's very busy with work and the family
He just doesn't have any time for love or romance
You understand ://
So it's unlikely he will do much of anything on his own
He will probably even avoid you a bit in hopes of making himself feel better
That being said, if you realize what's going on, and decide to pursue the relationship, he may manage to fit you in his schedule :))
"Hey, Darry.. uhm, could we talk for a second..?" You asked, as you popped up from around the corner, completely catching him off guard. It had been almost two weeks since you two had a proper conversation, and you weren't gonna let it go on any longer.
SODAPOP CURTIS
Okay so this is gonna come as a surprise to no one, but..
Throughout his life he has consistently gotten girlfriends and boyfriends with no issue
Again, no one's surprised
I mean, look at him, he's beautiful
Anyways-
He immediately knows that he likes you
And he very quickly starts planning out how he can go about the situation
It won't take very long for him to make his move, however if you beat him to it, he would definitely be over the moon
There you are, looking as good as ever. He's already decided that he's gonna ask you out later, an- wait.. your walking over to him..?
PONYBOY CURTIS
Poor kid doesn't know wtf is going on at first
All he knows is that he suddenly enjoys your company more then before
It wasn't until you interlocked his fingers with yours one night that he finally became fully aware of his feelings
He is not nearly as subtle about these feelings as he thinks he is.
He's so obvious, you'd have to be pretty inattentive to not notice anything
Based on this, you will likely be making the first move
With a dramatic sigh you let your head fall against his shoulder. The two of you have been studying together for about two hours and your in desperate need of a break. "C'mon, you need to focus." He said, sounding more annoyed then he really was. You grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers and looking up at him pleadingly. "Pleease.?"
DALLAS WINSTON
Ohh boy
Out of allll the guys in Tulsa, you caught his attention?
Lucky 🙄
I love him sm istg
In all seriousness, this is very new to him
He's not used to genuinely caring about someone
Besides Johnny, he's never really loved anything
He's gonna start off with his typical flirting
That won't change until he realizes his feelings
After that, he switches to being a total jerk to you
Mans does not know how to process his feelings
Just give him time tho, he'll figure it all out
Here you are, sitting on the porch of the Curtis house. It's late and everyone is inside the house, save for you and Dal. He's been real difficult lately, although tonight his attitude has noticably improved. As you watch him struggle to light his cancer stick you can't help but wonder, what did he want to ask you.?
JOHNNY CADE
My sweet, respectful boy
He falls head over heels immediately
Everybody realizes his feelings rather quickly too
Including himself
He's not stupid
He notices how his cheeks get all warm
His hands get all sweaty
His knees feel like they might give out
It's a new feeling for him
For once he has someone touching him without causing him pain
I'm gonna fight his parents- WOAH! Who said that!? 😅
If your the type of person who is really affectionate with your friends (me fr) then you might actually kill the poor kid
He asked Dally for advice only to completely ignore it
Turns out Dally sucks at giving good advice, who woulda known?
He was thankful for how dark it had gotten, otherwise you would be able to see just how red his face had gone. For some reason you had decided it would be a great idea to hold his hand out of nowhere. Why can't you see what your doing to him?
TWO-BIT MATHEWS
You guys prolly met in middle school
He pulled some dumb shii and put gum in your hair or something
After that he often teased you
Referring to you as his girlfriend/boyfriend
You better expect a lot of playful flirting with this one
He pretty much confesses his feelings on the daily tbh
Albeit in a way that makes you think it's a joke
Eventually you just kinda realize that hey, maybe he isn't joking
"See, I always knew we were perfect for each other, ever since that day in sixth grade." He teased, throwing his arm around your shoulder only for you to immediately push it off. "Get off of me, would you?"
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sweetkpopmusings · 2 months
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felix coworker headcanons <3
a/n: i've got headspace focus music playing and i'm in my stray kids feels today so here is another coworker headcanons post !! this one realllllyyyy catapulted me into felix feelings, so i hope it brings you comfort and serotonin as well <333 pics not mine !!
content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none really! some mentions of food | pairing: coworker!felix x gn!reader | requests: open
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oh sweet felix!! 
you’ll never forget his first day–the receptionist was walking him through the workspace, introducing him to everyone, and explaining their roles. felix, a genuine ray of sunshine on that gloomy monday morning, smiled and waved at everybody with pure enthusiasm :’-)
when the receptionist introduced you, felix pointed at the mug on your desk and commented on how cute he thought it was ! you could practically hear the exclamation points in his voice when he spoke :,-)
later in the day, you noticed he was struggling with the coffee machine how rude of the coffee machine
you offered to help–though admittedly, you didn’t know much about it either–and he was so so grateful someone was being this kind to him 
like he actually was so touched he ended up telling his friends about it that night :,-(
but anyways back to you and felix vs. the coffee machine
eventually you did get it working…you just pressed different buttons a ridiculous number of times until felix’s hot chocolate came out properly
once his mug was full, felix cheered and high-fived you, promising to pay you back one day for your service
you assured him that he doesn’t owe you anything and that you’re happy he isn’t defeated by the coffee machine on his first day
that led you two into a conversation about what it’s like to work here, the do’s and don’t’s of the office, the cool people, tips and tricks for boring meetings, and so on
felix looks up to you so much after this interaction :,,,,-)
he calls you his mentor <333 
it doesn’t matter that you work in completely different departments–even the person who is supposed to be mentoring felix refers to you as his mentor lmao
at the end of his probation period, felix bakes brownies for you because he swears he wouldn’t have survived this long without you to keep him company <33333333
you two share the brownies during your lunch break while watching silly little videos 
it’s so cute that everyone is jealous but they wouldn’t dare interrupt because they know for a FACT that you’re felix’s favorite
aside from being your personal baker, felix loves to play little pranks on you in the office
they’re super harmless–i’m talking pranks like leaving stickers in random places around your workspace, so you can transfer them to your laptop or water bottle whenever you find them–but he is THRILLED every time you get a surprised look on your face as a result of his antics
there’s no doubt in your mind that felix was behind it, so you look over to where he’s sitting and he’s just staring at you like >:^)
while he’s too far away for you to hear him, you know that he’s doing his classic little heh heh and plotting his next attack :,-)
felix also has cute polaroids at his desk !!
you get him one as a gift :,-) and he cherishes it so much !!!!
it’s displayed at the center of all his polaroids and he even wrote “from y/n <3” on the bottom of it so everyone knew it was his most special one :-( 
he encourages you to decorate your desk because he thinks it's important to have things that make you smile while you're working !! and he's so right for that
if you don’t know where to start, felix will dedicate an afternoon to making a mood board for inspiration
he loves nothing more than shopping online with you for the perfect items
felix gets so invested that he helps you to organize everything and workshops all possible setups before you both decide on the best one though honestly he’s more concerned about it being the optimal arrangement than you are lol
after your new desk decorations are complete, felix proudly takes a picture of you at your redesigned workstation
when you make that your profile pic for your work chatting platform, felix just about faints from happiness
he’s practically twirling his hair, giggling, and kicking his feet when he messages you “nice profile pic!!” :,,,,,-) <3333
felix, though known as being happy-go-lucky, is far more in-tune with your emotions than you realize
if you come in sleep-deprived, felix is the first one to ask you if you would like coffee/tea/a pick-me-up
when you’re feeling stressed due to an upcoming deadline or having a pile of work upon your return from vacation, felix stays late with you to prioritize all your tasks so you have a clear game plan
he’s also always, always, always reminding you to take breaks !!
it’s a mini tradition for you two to do desk stretches together :-( like you just look at each other from across the workspace and do the same stretches while making funny faces at each other and holding back all your giggles :-((((
activities and conversations with felix become so embedded in your daily routine that you can’t imagine how you got through the workday before he started here
one quiet afternoon when you two are hanging out in the breakroom, you ask him why he takes such good care of you
without missing a beat, felix smiles and answers, “i promised you i’d pay you back for helping me out with the coffee machine on my first day, didn’t i?”
all you can manage to do is smile and i’d be tearing up if i were you because, just by stepping into the breakroom and offering a hand, you met the brightest, sweetest, most loving man on the planet
little do you know, felix also can’t believe his luck in meeting someone as caring, reliable, and wonderful as you <333 
this is why, sitting in the breakroom where your friendship began, he pinky promises to stay by your side through coffee machine problems, stressful workdays, and whatever else life has in store for you :,-)))) 
oh i love felix so much i'm inconsolable my sweet baby angel </33
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mcflymemes · 6 months
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PROMPTS FROM LIFE IS STRANGE, SEASON 1 *  assorted dialogue, suggested by ismelodrama, adjust as necessary
everything is a picture waiting for be taken.
you're just jealous of me because i actually do the things you can't.
are you hiding something?
i'm sick of your disrespect. tell me the truth!
i don't want to fight with you anymore. i don't want to fight with anyone anymore.
i was eating those beans!
how the hell did you know about that photo?
always take the shot. my number one rule of photography.
you just don't listen, do you?
there's something weird going on with you.
you've only been here for three weeks and you're already causing conflict.
after this week, you are certainly not a little kid anymore.
not now. i'm contemplating shit.
are you fucking kidding me? this is major bullshit!
i didn't have all the evidence at the time.
we all make decisions we regret.
i'm not gonna make any excuses for my behavior.
i'd put stephen hawking against picasso any day.
it sucks to be dragged into the spotlight.
nobody believes me anyway.
you're exactly the kind of soldier i'd want by my side in a war.
why the hell not?
i almost asked you to hang out.
you should have asked me.
maybe we're too much alike.
i don't believe anything you say. you're full of shit.
eat a dick, [name].
i'll be in the tardis getting my delorean ready.
since you're the mysterious superhero... i'll be your faithful chauffeur and companion.
you don't know who the fuck i am or who you're messing around with.
where'd you get that? what are you doing? come on, put that thing down!
don't ever tell me what to do! i'm so sick of people trying to control me!
so you can't help me?
i told you before that i'll always believe you.
i may be a pest but... i'm a good listener.
you're the bravest person i've ever known.
for every action, there's a reaction.
i'm trying. but you have to understand my position.
i know i can be a pain in the ass... and you've always treated me like a person, not a beta nerd.
why do you want all your friends to die?
oh i see. i'm not important to you anymore.
nobody lectures me. everybody tries though.
do not analyze me! i pay people for that.
hey, that's total slander!
you don't know shit about my father, or me.
you're all fucked!
everybody hates me.
[name]... it's me. i just wanted to say i'm sorry.
i truly am sorry for being such a bastard.
you would have been cool to hang out with.
you might as well choose me.
i'm not perfect, okay?
you have talent, [name].
you don't have to push people out of your way.
thanks for admitting again that i have some talent.
do you think it's, like, fate we're not supposed to be friends?
nobody says we have to be friends.
everybody lies. no exceptions.
i came for all of you.
i'm in a nightmare and i can't wake up.
no wonder they call it a "web." nothing can ever get out.
i wish i could go back in time and erase everything.
just tell me you do have the photograph.
now shut up and listen.
i'm not a real scientist.
i was just happy just being your friend.
[name], i'm so sorry you had to go through all that.
i don't think i can concentrate on going out to the movies.
everybody pretends to care until they don't.
even angels need angels, [name].
i might be naive, but i feel their struggle.
why did you stop me from jumping?
this shit pit has taken everyone i've ever loved.
when a door closes, a window opens... or something like that.
i keep going back in time.
how could there be a more important moment in history?
thank you for trusting me.
hey... be careful out there.
what kind of friend are you?
you never understood me, or what happened to me.
i'll always be alone, thanks to you.
just in case we don't get out of this...
i'm going to make the right choices from now on.
i've been feeling like this might be actually the end of the world.
i hate to say that i'm glad to see you, but i'm glad to see you.
i wish i could stay in this moment forever... but then it wouldn't be a moment.
if that tornado came right now, i would just sit here and watch for a while.
i just feel like escaping.
i have total faith that you'll do the right thing when the time comes.
with great power comes great bullshit.
am i pushing myself too hard?
you like to hurt people, huh?
i'm glad you decided to escort me.
i know this is a bad time, but can i get one picture?
of course i believe you. you're the most amazing person i've ever met, and i'm glad you trust me.
i don't have a fucking clue what's going on.
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marlynnofmany · 2 years
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Friend-shaped
“She’ll want to pet it,” said a smug voice from the next room. “Humans will pet anything.”
“Even spiky things?” asked the skeptical voice that I recognized as Zhee. “I’ve never had a human want to pet me, and this thing is much worse.”
As curious as I was to see our newest cargo and judge for myself, I first had to finish setting out food for the animals in the next bay. I lugged in bags of dried pellets and fish jerky as the door slid shut behind me, cutting off the sound of Zhee insisting to the delivery person that there was no way under several suns that I would want to touch this new mystery animal. We’d see about that.
I stashed the pellets in the appropriate closet and pulled out a sheet of jerky for each of the three fangy monstrosities that twined around each other, trying to hypnotize me through the bars. I ignored the moving pattern of stripes that probably worked on prey from their world. Working quickly, I set the sheets down on the floor outside the cage, spaced as far apart as possible, then used a gravity wand to lift them through the bars without losing a finger. Left one, right, one, then the middle, to keep the beasties from all jumping on the same treat.
A chorus of happy growls and chewing noises filled the air. Success. I put away the gravity wand and reflected that I absolutely would have liked to scritch all three terrifying predators on the head, but I valued life and limb too much for that.
On to the next room! The doors opened and closed in quick succession. I passed other people loading and uploading various crates, but I only had eyes for the terrarium that looked like it was made of force fields instead of glass. Or maybe some room-temperature version of hard water, given that the person chatting with Zhee was a Waterwill. They had some pretty bizarre tech.
“Ah, here’s the human!” the Waterwill said happily, her voice burbly and vaguely female. “What do you think of your newest live cargo?” She extended what passed for an arm from her column-of-goo body. Beside her, Zhee spread purple pincher arms in a silent display of “ta-dah.”
Inside the tank I saw rocks, sand, a puddle of algae, and the ugliest little ball of snot and spikes that I had ever encountered. Protruding eyes struggled to focus on me like a wall-eyed Chihuahua that had rolled through the most unfortunate of trash piles.
“Wow,” I said, bending down for a closer look. “That’s an animal, all right.”
The Waterwill bobbed up and down. “And is it not, as you say, cutesy-wootsy?”
Zhee made various clicks and taps that were probably skepticism. I couldn’t blame him.
“Well,” I said, struggling for a tactful answer, “It sure is a little one. Looks a bit scared.”
“They always get twitchy when they’re moved around before egg-laying,” the Waterwill said with a dismissive wobble. “It’ll settle down when everybody stops walking by. It’s non-toxic. Maybe once it’s calm—”
The rest of her sentence was cut off by loud snarls from next door, carrying through the hall while both doors were open at the same time. It sounded like a brief squabble over fish jerky, no cause for alarm.
For me, anyway. The animal in the terrarium made a piercing squeak and tried to burrow under the rock, its spines growing visibly longer and flinging droplets of moisture as it trembled violently.
“Oh, that’s bad,” said the Waterwill, all cheer gone. “It could sour the eggs. Everybody be quiet! Move slowly!” She waved two armlets at the other people carrying boxes, who did as she asked.
Zhee was making a whistle that was probably a curse in his own language, or maybe someone else’s. “We’ll get blamed for egg troubles. Would dim light help? I’ll hit the controls.” He moved off on quiet bug legs.
“What else helps?” I asked. “Wait, there’s a manual for this, right?” Without waiting for a response, I unfolded a screen from my pocket and looked for the newest files. There it was. Easily searchable, too.
While I spent a moment on that, the room dimmed and quieted into a soothing nighttime. The other crewmates grabbed the remaining crates, left, and shut the door. I heard someone say to leave oncoming boxes in the hallway for the moment.
“It’s still stressed,” the Waterwill said. “We should have brought another one to soothe it!”
“Hang on, I found the sound files,” I said. “Here’s the soothing one.” At the press of a button, a brief gurgle played, then cut off. “That’s it?”
The animal turned toward me, then back to the rock. No change.
I asked the Waterwill, “I don’t suppose you can make that sound?” When she hesitated, I tried myself. Hard to do without any water around to gargle, but I managed an awkward warble in the back of my throat.
The animal’s shivering stilled.
“Keep doing that!” the Waterwill said with an urgent wave.
I did, feeling silly. But the animal liked it. The trembling ended, and the spines started to retract. When I paused for breath, the creature held perfectly still, then when I started again, the spines continued shortening. After a few moments, it was a slimy ball of green with eyes that stuck out, and soon enough those finally closed. When they opened again, they weren’t bulging any more.
A head lifted from the goo, with a cute little face that chirped curiously.
“Aw, look at you,” I said to it. “All calm and happy.”
It oozed over towards me, moving much like Waterwills did, without any legs. It nuzzled a hatch that I hadn’t noticed in the side of the tank.
“You said it’s non-toxic, right?” I asked, not waiting for a response. I’d skimmed the manual. The hatch opened easily for me to stick my hand in and stroke the slimy little head. It purred like a babbling brook.
“Told you,” said a voice behind me.
Zhee hissed.
I turned to see him handing over credits with a displeased tilt to his antennae. “Did you just lose a bet?” I laughed.
Zhee threw his pincher arms into the air. “It was covered in spikes! No fair changing shape like that.”
“Well, if we’re going to be fair,” I said. “I would have sacrificed a hairbrush to pet it through the spikes, if it liked that kind of thing.”
“Of course you would,” Zhee muttered.
“Righto,” the Waterwill said as she stuck the credits into a wallet pouch that floated among her other miscellaneous bits. “I can see it’s in good care here. Guess I’ll be off.”
I gave the creature one last stroke, then eased my hand out and closed the hatch, waiting to make sure it stayed calm. When it settled back into goo, I stood and joined the other two in soft-footing our way to the door. “I’ll keep an eye on it,” I promised.
“And a hand,” Zhee grumbled.
“I’ve petted worse,” I told him.
“I’m sure you have,” he said. “And I don’t want to hear about it.”
~~~
The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character of this book. More to come!
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simp4konig · 1 year
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"Can't sleep?" König x Gender-neutral Reader
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Word count: 3704
Having flashbacks about the battlefield and unable to fall asleep after an exceptionally draining mission, you go seek the comfort of your Colonel in the middle of the night.
*Slow burn
*ANGST!!💔... dw it gets wholesome at the end i promise ❤️
*Thanj you to Azzy!! (My No.1 Fan...🥹🫂💘) for this request !!!🙋🏼‍♀️💫💞💞✨Love u too🫶💕,, I kind of 🥺slightly🥺 maube a littke bit🥺🥺🥺went off prompt and König isnt affected by the mission per se BUT i have fulfilled the CUDDLING part!!! ☺️☺️pls dont show up to my fhome with pitchforks and torches im sry it just sorta happened ok😱
Also i rhink i have dementia bc I thought someone else rqsted König comfortinf rreader in a storm???😰😰Turns out nobody did so maybe i hallucinated it or smtj idk🤷🏼‍♀️Anyways I thought to merge these two ideas together so lmk what u think abt this lil (by "lil" i mean WAY too long🤪) drabble🙏💕
*Reader is pining for König
*Events loosely take place in the KönigxKing (as in, reader's call-sign is "King" storyline) mini-series. This serves as a slight backstory for King (reader). Again, this is by no means in any chronological order in relation to the series, so this can also be read as stand-alone! :)
*THANK YOU FOR 100+ FOLLOWERS!!!!!! 🥳🎉🎊✨🎇💖I SWEAR ONE IT LITERALLT FEELS LIKE MID-AUGUST WHEN I HAD LIKE 7 WHERE DID U ALL COME FEOM??????😰😰💘 IT MEANS SO MUCH FOR ME LIKE I CANR STRESS THIS ENOIGH BC IM SO HAPPG U GUYS THINK MEWORTHY ENOIGH OF YOUR PRECIOUS FOLLOW AND WANT TO READ MY WACK WORKS!!!!!!🤧🤧💖💖 LIKE??????? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹THANK U THABK YOU RHABK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🫶🥰🥰💖💖💖❤️💞💞💕💖💕💕💞
                                        ...
You couldn't sleep.
It was raining relentlessly outside, the pitter-patter of water droplets hitting your window. Storm clouds boomed loudly outside, and despite the blinds being pulled tightly shut, lightning occasionally flashed through the cracks, elongated shadows of buildings forming on the walls.
Counting down the seconds until you'd hear the rumbling thunder, it would only be a few kilometres away, and you'd shudder at the sound, shivering.
While tossing and turning in bed, you had kicked off your covers and were staring at the ceiling, still wide awake. Normally, a storm like this would be like a lullaby to your ears, yet now it did nothing in helping lull you to sleep.
Even if you wanted to sleep, how could you when those corpses haunted your nightmares?
Laying in bed, your mind replayed the same scenes like a movie reel, the same screams like a broken record:
Lifeless, unblinking eyes with mouths agape and an expression of fear permanently engraved on their pale faces; flies swarming in hordes to harvest the soft tissues of the irises and tongue, eating the human mush; limbs contorted in unnatural positions, arms and legs crushed by the force of detonated mines, bones broken under the weight.
Rumbling roaring of machine guns and the deafening explosions from hand grenades meant that the high-pitched ringing would drown out everybody's yelling, muffle all noise from your surroundings, and you'd only be pulled out of your daze when you'd find yourself stumbling on unstable ground, on bricks and cheap concrete that had all crumbled.
Bodies would drop so fast it'd take at least seconds for you to register whether it had been an enemy or an ally.
You'd pull the trigger, but seeing a bullet go through someone's forehead and the exaggerated shock stamped on their face — a permanent expression in their final seconds remaining forever in death — left you wondering why you would ever sign up willingly to do this.
Disorientated, you'd struggle to pull yourself together, would enter far too many close calls for a soldier to count, and would only get a grip once you saw a familiar face, a reminder that you weren't alone in the warzone.
Even now, the sonorous sound kept echoing in your head, and, if you listened closely, it resembled hundreds of hoarse shouts, so many people screaming at once in collective agony.
You flinched as a bolt of lightning suddenly struck the sky.
Sparing an absentminded glance at your digital alarm clock, your eyes widened slightly at the time: 1:56am.
Damn... you thought. ...it's that late already?
Drills would begin at 7 o'clock, and you had to have woken up at 6 to brush your teeth, get dressed, eat, and mentally prepare yourself for the day, so you kissed a good night's sleep goodbye, and accepted the telling off from your superiors the following morning for under-performing.
...Still, how could you sleep after what you had experienced? What you experienced and would continue experiencing?
Accepting high-pressure missions and a demanding workload once you had enlisted, you thought that your ability to keep calm under pressure and stay composed would mean that you would have been unaffected by the shooting by now, and be taking everything in your stride. Calm, composed, and unaffected, is what you had thought you'd be. Surely you'd be able capable enough to cope with it all?
Yet, you weren't any of those things. Never getting used to the stress that would persist even while on supposedly "low-intensity" extractions. You'd always be on edge, always recoiling at hands that would reach over to tap your back as encouragement or hold your shoulder in reassurance on base.
You believed you could never familiarise yourself with the panic and unpredictability of missions and being hyper-aware of something, anything, everything going wrong, with the adrenaline that would course through your body and take over your senses in times of fight or flight, with the nerves that would keep you on edge hours after landing safely on base.
But, most of all, with the nights you'd lay in bed, unable to fall asleep: nights like these, when every time you closed your eyes, you saw the eyes of dying comrades; when every time you walked along the corridors, imagined yourself diving across the floor and felt shattered shrapnel breaking under your feet; when every time you sat in an empty room, heard ear-piercing blasts and the ricochet of discarded shells just missing your head.
Whereas the other operators seemed to be completed unmoved by any of their deployments and would shrug their shoulders off of the events, the anxiety for you lingered, trauma deep within your soul consuming you whole.
How could you ever get over the fact that you were shooting real people? Losing real soldiers?
...Losing yourself along the way?
All this work took a toll on your psyche, but comparing yourself to the other soldiers made you feel like such a coward, and second-guess ever enlisting in the first place.
...Well, you did so because it had been your only option all things considered, but looking back on it, you thought that maybe it would have been better if you hadn't chosen anything at all.
Accepted the grave nature of your failures in life, the same life that would have had inevitably ended with you pre-maturely in a grave.
After all, you had no job prospects to look forward to, no dreams to strive for, no aspirations to achieve.
Failing your school exams time and time again until you had finally achieved a result that was good enough didn't earn you any security, as you weren't exactly employable with grades you had just barely managed to claw to even pass.
Really, it was hopeless. You were hopeless.
To say your family was disappointed in you would have been an understatement. Out of three children, you were labelled the disappointment child, the underachiever and failure.
Your two siblings worked as a lawyer and an engineer respectively, while you had never even been able to grasp the basics in education, never spoke with your teachers of anything other than the worrying results of your exams, never came home to share a thing with your parents you had accomplished with a smile of pride stretched on your young face like your siblings did.
Never. Because you weren't ever good enough.
At the dinner table, your siblings boasted of promotions and of revolutionary research, of trials and of successes, of their brilliant breakthroughs, as you sat on the side of the table, listening from the sidelines, excluded from all of the grandeur that you couldn't relate to.
Still, it was always better to keep your mouth shut than to make a dent in the conversation, further embarass yourself and prove how lowly you were, than to have so many pairs of pitying eyes talking down on you in patronising tones, of the subtle condolences from your parents and their regret with triumphant smirks and condescending attitude from your siblings.
In a last ditch effort to make your parents proud, you made the decision of joining the military. You were young and impressionable, under the impression that your parents would finally be impressed.
...Of course, they weren't. In fact, your decision made them even more disappointed, shaking their heads sympathetically with strained smiles stretched on their lips.
Maybe that was the reason you couldn't handle the pressure of the military, you thought. You were weak, incompetent. Pathetic.
Although no one told you explicitly or made you feel that way directly, somehow, you always had felt inferior. Somehow, you felt that no matter what you did, how much you did, how well you thought you did, you wouldn't ever come close to the others's level.
That, despite your effort and dedication, you would never be good enough. Would always be inferior no matter what, because you always had been and would always be so.
...Your Colonel never made you feel that way, though, and you never quite understood why.
After all, your interactions were few-far-and-inbetween. It made you wonder what made you feel this way, and what spark ignited the warmth you'd feel when he was around.
Although a man of few words, the words that he did say to you would matter, though. His praise, his acknowledgement, his always being there made you want to keep going and prove your worth to him.
It started off as sporadic encouragement:
Your skin glistening with sweat, an accented voice would say "Gute Arbeit," over your crumpled body on the gym mat.
Offering you a gloved hand, you grasped it gratefully, and he pulled your tired body with ease. "Good job, King."
A lopsided smile from you as you'd wipe the sweat from your forehead and brows after sparring with someone else, limp limbs barely keeping you standing. His eyes were betrayed no emotion under his veil, yet a thin-lipped grin was behind it.
"Thank�� you— sir!" You'd manage to breathe out, still panting for breath. "I did— my best, but— I didn't win."
"That does not matter," he'd say, speaking in a tone you couldn't quite recognize. "Very good job. Keep it going. Soon, you'll be able to pin even me down."
You'd laugh weakly at his words, yet would immediately feel a surge of motivation to keep working hard, and would train up to the point of exhaustion behind closed doors. Thinking you'd be alone, you'd punch a dufflebag with grunts of effort, missing the tall silhouette observing you with crossed arms in the corner, satisfied.
Then, those became casual greetings;
"Guten Morgen, soldier. Nice day, ja?"
Turning around, you'd see your Colonel walking towards you, frame visible even from a distance.
You smile broadly, eyes crinkling up in genuine joy, before you caught yourself and coughed. "Y-yeah!"
"Always a nice day whenever you're around, sir," you'd tease, playfully winking at him as he approached you, yet you were yet to master it without blinking both eyes.
He'd chuckle heartily, flattered, then shook his head to hide how his face flushed under his veil, and held up a hand.
"Thank Gott I have you here. My day would have been ruined."
"Have a good day, sir!" You'd call after him brightly, and he'd turn around for a final time with a two-fingered salute. Strange, since he was your superior, not the other way around, but you shrugged this off as a friendly gesture.
Until it developed into a sort of mutual connection.
In your eyes, at least.
You didn't want to assume that you two were friends, as the man was way out of your league. Strong, muscular, and a disciplined soldier — a Colonel, no less — a man of influence.
Besides, he, conversing with the only-recently-recruit-turned-soldier that was the slowest to understand a joke, did not comprehend complicated terms, and was the least bright out of the entire faction was not something you wanted him to be associated as, didn't want to tarnish his reputation.
You reasoned that you didn't want to bring down the Colonel down to your low level, so you kept your relationship as just that; associates. Aquaintances. Nothing more, out of respect for your Colonel.
Little did you know, the Colonel had developed a soft spot for you.
It seemed as though the storm had gotten worse, as the rain was unrelenting, and the tapping on the glass increased with force. Booming thunderclouds made your room shake.
A sigh as you turned to your side again. 2:07am.
Your thoughts moved back to your Colonel, and you started missing him, longing for him. The warmth that radiated off him made you wish he'd take you in his arms, hold you close to his chest, and you suddenly felt so cold. So lonely and cold.
Maybe it was childish of you to be feeling this way — he was your superior, after all, and you had no reason to be so attached — yet your daily encounters made you gain feelings for the man. Made you feel things when he was around.
Somehow, he brought you security. Made you feel protected. Safe. Like you could always count on him for having your back.
Made you forget that you were so useless, and was the reason for the fuzzyness within your chest, the buzzing feeling you'd feel as you'd be grinning from ear to ear after speaking to him.
Made you feel like you weren't pathetic. Weren't a wasted wishing star. Instead, you were appreciated, seen, even.
You wanted to see him. You wanted to be with him.
...Would he want you, though?
No. Of course he wouldn't. You weren't good enough.
A deep sigh. 2:15, the digital alarm clock displayed.
...What if he actually did want you? Not even as a partner, but just to be around him? Breathe the same air as him? You thought you weren't worthy of his time, but maybe, just maybe he wouldn't see it as such a waste.
Another crash of lightning brought you to your senses.
Finally making up your mind, you huffed in exertion as you pushed yourself off your stiff mattress, not bothering to organize the mess of blankets on the floor.
Walking with certainty, before you realised it, you were at König's bedroom door. Standing behind the door, hand hesitatingly reaching for the handle, you bit your lip, confidence wavering.
Should you really go through with this right now? What if he was asleep at that moment and all you'd do is disrupt his slumber? It wouldn't be fair of you to disturb him so late in the night, especially when he had so many responsibilities.
Still, you inhaled deeply, and, as quietly as you could, knocked twice.
You almost jumped out of your skin at the familiar accented voice of your Colonel.
"Come in," he said hoarsely. His tone was almost warm, inviting, yet you shook your head at the idea, and pulled the handle.
Entering inside, you slowly closed the door behind you. When you turned around, König was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees, seemingly deep in thought. Wearing a tank top and cargo pants, his head was hung low, his veil hanging loosely over his head.
The blinds were drawn open to reveal the sky dominated by darkness, the grey curtain of monochrome on the nearest buildings cast down by the clouds, the raindrops that remained on the windows and the rhythmic echoes against the pavement as they dropped in syncopation.
The sight, his presence, were both so... relaxing. In a way, your anxiety was relieved by the tranquility of the scene, and it made you forget the internal turnoil you had been going through for the past few hours, made the tension in your body fade.
"Ah, King," his arms dropped to his sides and he raised his head to meet your eyes in the dark. "I had a feeling that it would be you."
You fidgeted nervously, not knowing what to do.
"Bitte, schön," he said, patting the empty space beside him on the mattress. "Please, sit down. I insist."
Slowly lowering yourself to his side, you sat at a reasonable distance away from him. With the both of you sat down, the size difference was still very noticable. His height made him hunch over you, and one of his thighs was like the two of yours combined.
So nervous, you didn't even notice how his back slumped so you'd be both at a similar level.
He cleared his throat. "What brings you here so late in the night?"
An awkward tug of your t-shirt collar.
"Can't sleep," you stated simply.
"I see." He was quiet for a few moments. Then: "And you decided that my room was the place to go?"
Your face heated up, and you averted your gaze. "Well, sir, it's j-ju—"
"—Nein," he cut you off, holding up a hand to stop you. "I have told you so many times not to call me that. Call me König."
"But— but you're my superior," you gasped, mouth agape. "You deserve to be addressed with respect! I couldn't possibly—"
The protest died on your lips again as the man shook his head, the loose material of his veil following his movements. "Nein. None of that matters. I want you to call me by my first name."
A heavy silence lingered over the two of you, words left unsaid by you both.
"So," König prompted, "what brings you here, King?"
Pausing to think over a pretence, the best you could come up with was: "The storm scared me."
"Ja?" Even with the fabric covering his face, you could almost see the skeptical smirk on his lips.
"A soldier like you afraid of loud clouds? Some rain?" He chuckled.
"Really, I'd have thought you better than that, King." If you didn't know him well enough, you'd have thought he was mocking you, yet despite the sarcasm his eyes held a genuine concern for you.
An bashful laugh escaped you as you rubbed your arm, nails slightly digging into your skin.
"Okay, tell me the truth, King," Leaning forward, his tone became serious. "I know for certain you aren't scared."
He searched for your eyes, yet you avoided his gaze.
"Something is troubling you. Is that it?" He cocked his head to the side, fabric falling loosely over his shoulder. "You can tell me, King. I am your superior, you know. You should tell me these things."
"Well... it's j-just—"
You bit your lip, willing the tears to stay in your eyes.
Don't cry. Don't you dare cry.
König watched you, patiently waiting for you to continue.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, vulnerability showing in your eyes. "—This recent mission, it was— it was really, really difficult. And I just..."
König shuffled towards you until your knees were almost touching, watching you intently. As your body trembled, a hand hovered in uncertainty by your shoulder.
Sniffling, you wiped the wetness on your face with your arm, voice breaking.
"I-I just think that I'm not strong. That I'm... weak. Not— not good enough to be working with people that are so much better. So much stronger—"
Your breath hitched in your throat, voice coming out in a broken sob. "—I-I mean— I'm so pathetic. I shouldn't be so... weak. I should — I should be better. Wh-why—"
Tears flowed freely down your face. "—Why can't I be better, König? Why am I so— so useless?"
Without saying anything, König wrapped his strong arms around your body and pulled you against his chest, pulled you close so you could let it all out. For a few moments, he let you cry, ever-so-gently stroking the back of your head, fingers running through your hair. Weeping into his chest, his steady breathing soothed you.
Once you recovered enough from your emotions, you pulled away, downcast. Face red and blotchy with tears, eyes puffy and pink from crying, lips quivering and voice hoarse, you felt so pathetic. So, so pathetic.
"F-fuck, s-si— König—" Trembling. "I'm so so sorry. I'm too emotional, please, I'm sor—"
"Nein." His tone was soft, yet firm. Definitive. "You have nothing to apologise for, King."
Both hands cupped the sides of your face, tentatively tilting your face upwards. His expression was forlorn, and you felt tears brimming in your eyelids again.
"...You're not weak. You're not pathetic. You're not useless. I see you always trying so hard, King, always giving it your all..."
He paused for a few moments, deliberating over how best to put his thoughts into words. "...Maybe... maybe your best isn't the best out of anyone's bests, but it's the effort that counts." He rubbed the back of his neck, then let out a mono-syllabic laugh. "Scheiße, did that make sense? Sorry— I'm not good with words—"
You glanced away. "—Hey," his hand reached to hold to side of your face. "Look at me, King."
"You're not weak, not pathetic, not useless," he repeated, voice wavering.
"You're none of those. You're better than you think you are. Your inner strength," a finger pointed at your chest, "your heart, it's so full of goodness. So full of so many good things that don't define you, but instead changed you for the better."
"Maybe... maybe you aren't the aren't the best, haven't been the best, or never will be the best, but it's not your fault. You try so hard, and the odds... the odds are stacked against you. And, sometimes... sometimes it's okay to not be the best. You don't have to be fearless, the strongest, perfect. You can just be... you."
His eyes were pleading in the dark. "Please don't doubt yourself. You're so— so much better than you imagine."
A shaky breath. "So much stronger than you tell yourself. I can promise you, you are your own person. Other people's successes don't define you."
König turned around to glance at his alarm. 2:36.
When he turned back, your face had slowly regained the colour on your cheeks, eyes sparkled, chest rose and fall at a steady pace. You said nothing, yet König knew you listened to every one of his words.
"Looks like it's too late for you to fall asleep in your own room," he whispered, gently caressing your face. "Stay here with me, King."
Eyes immediately widening in surprise, you were about to protest. "B-but— I couldn't possibly, König—"
That protest died on your lips as König's arms engulfed you again, and brought you down against his mattress so you were laying on his chest. Cocooned like a protective blanket over you, you didn't need him to say anything more. You felt so... safe. Loved.
The storm outside seemed to calm down, and lightning no longer crashed against the window. Rain faltered, and some clouds were separating in the darkness of the sky.
Before you knew it, your eyelids became heavy with drowsiness, feeling a wave of calm wash over you, cleansing away your sorrows.
Just before you fell asleep, you heard König say something in German, barely above a whisper, but you did not understand:
"Schlaf gut Schatz. Ich liebe dich."
...
I don't know who needed to hear that, or if anyone even did, but I stand by the words I wrote. Although you are reading this, and are likely a stranger, and I'll never face you in real life, I want you to know that you *are* good enough. And if it takes a person on the internet using a fictional character to tell you so, then so be it. You are still valid. 🫂
...
Note: i rhink some of the ppl that read my previous fics will be able to tell that i went tryhard mode on this one 💀💀
Its mostly bc im back in school and were going over all the stupid fancy shmancy literative devices and figurstive language (god why cant u call it literallt anything else i swear why does it have ro be so unnecessarily overcomplicated just call it sentence structures or writing techniques istg.man😭)so i unconsciously chanelled all of thise boring technicalities into this 😬
With me writing as a hobby you'd think I'd have the highest grades in English? No💔I wish LMAO
I NOW HAVE 130+ FOLLOWERS!!! Which is unbelievable if u wsk me bc etf why wre eo mwnt people following me i don't deserve this qt ALL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU ALL 🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
I still remember when @puff0o0⭐ began their self-aware au with König and Ghost qnd ive qlways veen cheerint for her from the sidelines ☺️☺️come to find out shes been mentioning ME in THEIR podts and writing on their blofs thwt my CoD blog is good and i.????😭😭😭cant????????😭😭😭😭😭 Literally -99999 damage and an ARROW 🏹 STRAIGHT thru the HEART 💘🥹 I LOVE U B (platonically ofc dw)😽💕💓💓❤️💞💞💕💞💕💞💞💞💕
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collieii · 1 year
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one line in trimax that's always stuck with me is from chapter 65, right after wolfwood's death. when vash is sticking the punisher by his grave and he says "it was part of his life". that phrasing is so interesting to me. the neutrality of it is one thing that gets me, i think. it was part of his life. for better or worse, whatever it was, the punisher was wolfwood's.
It's pretty easy to think that the punisher might represent violence, the eye of michael, the role of assassin that was forced onto wolfwood, the loss of childhood. but it's not really presented that way, not overtly anyways. we never see wolfwood shun the punisher, he's not conflicted by his use of it. he never considers abandoning it for some other weapon. it's his weapon. he doesn't discard it when he eventually decides to take a more vash-like approach and actually let people live. he pretty easily accepts it as his own, a tool he can use. (to be fair, at least part of that is probably because the punisher is a very good gun.)
the punisher can still represent the harsher aspects of wolfwood's character, the violence he's committed, that he's capable of. that's an important part of his life! and the idea of it as representative of his violent adolescence, childhood that was stripped away, goes along with this - it's literally a cross to bear. but besides showing his past as a burden, i think of the punisher as being a cross of responsibility. when you have a gun you have power, agency - you have a responsibility to make a choice. that's what wolfwood tells vash in chapter 4.
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the ability to take a life, the burden of it, is literally his cross to bear. that ability - and that responsibility - was given to him by the eom, literally in terms of the gun, and in terms of his skills. but the eye doesn't think twice about killing people. for them it's not really a choice, a responsibility, it's just a given. but wolfwood can't accept that. he's constantly considering the choices he makes.
so the punisher isn't only a symbol of the eye of michael, of the path that he was forced onto. it's also a way of expressing autonomy. the eye gave wolfwood the gun, but he decides how to use it and what it means. for much of the story wolfwood struggles to decide what to do, he's a very conflicted character. but eventually he resolves to use it against chapel, against knives, to help vash, and protect the orphanage. the gun gives him agency.
so the punisher was part of his life. it was the tool that he used to commit acts of violence, acts that he was forced into, but also the tool he used to break free.
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it's heavy for vash, too. he's not exempt from that idea, the idea of responsibility. as wolfwood said much earlier in the story, vash has always been able to sidestep the question of "what do i choose?", because he's only ever given himself one option - everybody lives. and he's always succeeded. but as wolfwood says, "the day will come when you'll have to choose". one day, it's not going to work.
and of course the story progresses, the stakes ramp up, and vash learns more, goes through more, and is pushed to his limits. i think by this point, by wolfwood's death, and maybe because of it, vash has realized that he might have to make that difficult choice in the near future. that's one reason why he wants to "do him proud". he has a lot of reasons to say this of course - to not let wolfwood's sacrifice go to waste, for example. but if we're thinking of the cross as responsibility, then vash is saying he doesn't want to forget the lessons he learned because of wolfwood. wolfwood has always grappled with responsibility, with what the right thing to do is. and the right thing is often not easy. vash hopes that when the times comes for him to make a choice, he'll make a good one, one that does right by wolfwood's memory.
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Have you played Yakuza 6 yet? If so ya got any kazumaji head canons based off the events of the game?
I absolutely love your ideas for them and I am beyond upset that Majima was barley in the game. Or even mentioned that much.
They did the boi dirty in this game, I swear.
*clenches my ass hard enough to shit diamonds*
oh I have OPINIONS about 6 I'll tell you that but it is good fodder for the kazumaji agenda 👀 I'mma be kinda rambly in this but I promise it all ties together kdjfjkldfkldf
so we all know Kiryu goes off to find Haruka and because I'm a big fan of dadjima, I can only imagine Kiryu lets him know while he's stuck in jail and Majima's just like WHAT
so Kiryu does a lot of self reflection but acting upon it is another matter. I can see Majima chastising him, saying she ran away cuz that's all Kiryu ever does (part of him is still pissy about him leaving in y3) and she's never had a healthy role model other than the king of hypocrisy. Kiryu would go on about how it's just to protect people yada yada but Majima would be like my guy, you left a bunch of kids in the care of your daughter who should not be parenting for you. you refuse any and all help because you think you can do it all on your own. you left me with Daigo who you said I wouldn't be babysitting AND YET—
I just want Majima to absolutely rail into him about how self serving he's acted despite better intentions. like of course Haruka ran away, look how much pressure she was under, what she went through in the idol bizz (maybe I'm a loser but I did not like Haruka's part in y5 that shit icked me), what you (Kiryu) do every time you feel like a burden to people. how naïve it was to think any part of Kiryu's past would leave him behind just because he wanted it to. how his lone wolf thing impedes on everybody else. how in 5 he literally says he needs to stop running from his past and he does it anyway. this game FRUSTRATES ME rrhrrhhrhrr KIRYU FRUSTRATES ME ACK. but also I have a thing for Majima just being angry at him, to actually lash out and spew all those feelings of being left behind or being refused to let help because Kiryu's stubborn. how he let himself be used all those years to help Kiryu out just because he asked and now once again Kiryu's off on his own, never changing his tune about how he doesn't wanna rely on people. Majima's not perfect either and frankly he communicates like shit too but I just want that RAGE to get out and explore how Kiryu would hear him but never listen. makes it all the more tragic when he finds out Kiryu "died."
*tho I must note, as much as it does irritate me, 6 makes sense entirely for Kiryu's character lol. nothing he does in it surprises me in the slightest so while I'm not a fan of the story, it's pretty fitting for him since he's the downfall of his own story half the time. and it's not so simple as just saying Kiryu's to blame. he's constantly forced to deal with shit just as much as he wants to be left alone. he struggles and he tries hard I'll give him that. I don't think he's a bad person for what he aimed to do in 6 but he's not infallible either. and sometimes it's just par for the course. like how he makes the compromise at the end of the game to disappear so his family can be at peace all the while in his history, he's had major problems doing what he's told - never truly disappearing anyway, going about whatever's gonna happen in gaiden. could you imagine if Haruka caught wind that some resting bitch face motherfucker is beating the shit outta armies somewhere? could you imagine her finding out that Kiryu left again?
honestly I think his character is really interesting cuz of this. he has good intentions and I feel like to him there's some expectation that people should understand this, that people should accept his choices. I think it's fun to explore how others react to that - how it's in a way offensive, that Kiryu thinks he knows what's best and how to handle it as if he has all the power and say. how pissed people feel about him shoving them away for the sake of their safety, etc. I don't think he'd listen to Majima tbh but I think it's important that someone unafraid of Kiryu's dumbassery would lay it out how it is to him in a way that cuts, more so than Haruka, Date or like Akiyama could.
ANYWAY, Majima's mad at him lol but can't really do anything atm due to the surrounding circumstances. I like to think he's got some of the Majima family watching out for Kiryu and Haruka if they happened to see them. Nishida at least cuz ain't no one gonna arrest a cutie patootie like him. it's not much but it's a little peace of mind. Majima knows Kiryu's reckless as all hell so he's worried and doubly annoyed that Kiryu doesn't care (about his own safety or that other people are concerned for him).
so since Majima has a fat 5 minutes in the whole game, there's not much to say about his involvement overall (other than oopsie stuck in jail) but I've had some thoughts about what all the jimas³ are doing in the meantime.
all the jimas are grouped together because I said so even tho realistically they'd prolly be separated lol. Daigo and Saejima are handling things well enough but Majima's bouncing off the walls in boredom and nothing irks him more than being stuck in one spot while Kiryu's out probably getting hit over the head with a stop sign and refusing medical attention. Daigo's losing his mind but he can agree Kiryu's bullheaded and talking about that keeps Majima distracted. Saejima does his part in trying to get Majima's mind off things now that they have all the time in the world to catch up on whatever.
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time passes and I'm rewriting the part in 6 where they show up at the end cuz I live in a fantasy world.
Kiryu "dies" and suddenly the three of them are released early, no doubt knowing his death had something to do with it. Daigo gets Kiryu's letter and Majima makes some joke about Kiryu's literacy but a quick scan of the letter makes Daigo's face drop. he reads it and Majima doesn't think it's real. he doesn't know how to feel. even Saejima is in disbelief. but the letter is vague. it's conjecture written by Kiryu of his own death so there's a chance he's fine. Kiryu's fine, he's always fine. he's been shot and stabbed a million times, he's fine.
but it's not long till it's confirmed by Date. Daigo's skeptical cuz his inner punkass doesn't trust cops. Saejima's on the same page but Majima's in full denial whilst also believing it to be true. his reaction is immediate and violent. he wants something to be done, he wants revenge but Daigo wants to follow Kiryu's wish to avoid war. Majima's so outraged he frankly couldn't give less of a shit about Kiryu's wishes so it's up to Saejima to wrangle him back *insert a dramatic fight here.* Majima gets his ass beat and he's just a mess. things move fast though - the fate of the clan is up in the air and he just couldn't care. but Daigo needs him and for that he pulls it together, just barely.
fast forward to when the jimas go into hiding. they get set up in a lil safehouse via Nick Ogata. I like to see it as a basic bitch type of place, very out of the way, very ignorable but the inside is nice enough. they have to stay cooped up as much as possible and it drives Majima insane. he's fidgety, always pacing. Saejima tries to calm him down and it works for a time until Majima falls into another slump and repeats.
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they took a few things with them that they could, mostly small stuff, some clothes and the like. Majima brought along a few of Kiryu's things, namely some pocket cars and a shirt. he wears it often, being very against washing it. Daigo's too stressed to notice but Saejima watches Majima just break down into someone he doesn't know. he's tired, closed off, guilt ridden. Saejima starts to think this is who Majima was after getting out of the Hole. a shell of a person taking blame for things out of his control. losing the will to care for himself as some sort of self imposed punishment for not doing more. seething in silence in the powerlessness.
his beard grows scraggly, his hair is unkept and the circles under his eye grows darker everyday. his behavior mimics his Sotenbori days where everything was for Saejima, all he could think about was Saejima, how he failed him, how if he tried hard enough he could see him again. it's not the case with Kiryu though. he didn't even get to see the body himself.
he's always on his phone reliving memories through photos and conversations. he freaks out when anyone touches the pocket cars and eventually the shirt gets worn out. he's spiraling while the others look on, unsure how to deal with someone whose entire personality revolves around having a fake one.
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Saejima takes initiative. maybe he's seen Majima like this before or maybe he hasn't. doesn't matter because he gives Majima a bit of tough love, telling him to get a grip. telling him that Kiryu wouldn't want to see him like this and, under his breath, he needs him in better shape so they can beat the shit outta whoever was responsible. it's not easy of course. it takes Majima awhile to learn how to live again and frankly he doesn't want to talk about Kiryu but Saejima forces him to - to get comfortable with mentioning him, enjoying the memories they had. letting him know it's okay to be vulnerable. it's not a kind or pleasant recovery but it's there. it's helping.
and perhaps some time under supervision, he goes to see Haruka and meets Haruto for the first time. he tries to keep a strong façade for her but she can see right through him and gets one of those rare moments where he's just quiet. where he's real. she catches him up on things and it's a rough one for the both of them, especially since he has to keep the visit short. she doesn't bother asking him where he's going afterward but he promises to keep in touch and that he does. she sends him a lot of photos and videos of the family and he backseat-parents Yuta whenever possible. Haruka's never been a fan of always having Kiryu at arms length but this arrangement helps her deal with the long distance since there's effort on both ends to stay close.
Majima's not used to having others around to help him cope but he eases into it decently enough without the Tojo Clan on his shoulders. he even gets along better with Daigo who has time now to focus more on himself and the grunge within his soul. he's a silly lil dork and that charm reminds him of Kiryu but in a way that doesn't send him spiraling. he starts to see all reminders of Kiryu in a more hopeful light, one that brings back his energy. for most of their home confinement, Majima wouldn't even go out as Goromi since half his confidence came from Kiryu's support. but now and then, with Saejima and Daigo backing him, he can tiptoe a bit back into his fav dresses, ones that Kiryu gave him, ones that hurt to put on because of the baggage they carry. he doesn't even have his wigs anymore so he assembles what he can, how he can into something he knows Kiryu would have called pretty regardless. it stills hurts but it helps.
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but, he'll always dip back into the pain of it all. missing intimacy and things taken for granted. he regrets his last words with Kiryu were criticisms knowing he's not perfect himself. maybe he's faced with realizations that he can't survive without certain people, that his attachment issues are brought to the forefront for everyone to see. it's ugly and embarrassing and for the first time in a long time he feels very seen. death's always been a reality for him and he's never cared much for it in regards to himself but losing someone so close, so suddenly? without closure or goodbyes? he's forced to deal with the frailty and mortality of someone he thought was invincible.
and it scares him.
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ropes3amthoughts · 21 days
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Some DunMeshi traditional doodles I made in school.
I’ve been playing a lot of golf lately so I thought of a Dungeon Meshi Golf AU. It’s kind of random, but the premise is instead of Falin being eaten by the red dragon, she wanders off and the party loses her on a golf course, but Laios and the others aren’t allowed to stay on the course unless they’re playing, so they have to complete 18 holes in order to find her. It’s a modern AU by the way but the races are still the same, like in Kui’s modern AUs. I honestly haven’t planned that much out but it’s silly to me so I’m going to make the occasional doodle for it.
Thistle is the owner of the course and he rides around in a golf cart and tells everybody to hurry up. In this particular instance he wants Laios’ group off of his course because they had wandered on without paying to play because they were looking for Falin.
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Senshi is a veteran golf player. When he sees Laios & Co. struggling he helps them out and joins their group. He gives them tips and advice and reminds them to stay hydrated and have fun.
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Marcille has only ever played mini golf before, so she really has no idea how to drive a ball. She would try way too hard to hit the ball, pick her head up, and keep missing, so she keeps getting frustrated. Chilchuck in the corner is making fun of her because he’s an ass like that. He’s not very good at playing golf himself because I imagine it would be a bit of a difficult sport for halflings so he never tried to learn it. I think he would definitely criticize the others though.
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I have more ideas for golf AU but I didn’t doodle them all out.
Anyways here’s obligatory Kabru because I don’t stop thinking about him ever. He has wings here because I was inspired by this fic I like. I feel like I’m pretty decent at drawing wings. They kind of got messed up on the left though because I ran out of space. I probably should’ve drawn him smaller. If he was going to fly he’d probably need bigger wings than that too. Maybe I’ll try to redraw this.
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The wings got kind of wonky here because I haven’t drawn them in this pose before and I didn’t use a reference.
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He doesn’t have wings or arms or like anything here because class ended and I didn’t get to finish.
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I was going to post these all later when I had more doodles but it’s been a little bit and no more so I’m just going to post them as is.
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batfamscreaming · 4 months
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Do you have any examples in mind for the Alfred as Bruce's handler idea? What would be the sort of thing that's weird? Because keeping him up-to-date on politics and taking care of his diet, or even talking him down from fear gas attacks doesn't seem that weird to me. Especially with how their lives are going. What specifically are you thinking of? This is such an interesting take, would love to hear more about this
"With how their lives are going" is sort of the point. A butler is a household manager, so like yes, there's some overlap with controlling and organizing lots of people-- but like, not their boss? In a smaller household butlers might do things like take on valet and housekeeping duties, which is probably what happened after the household downsized after Martha and Thomas died. That's also probably when he went from Mr Pennyworth to Alfred.
And people know it's a weird situation. Like. Okay. So the one potential relative the Waynes may have had (Jacob Kane) is too young to take Bruce in, or Martha and Thomas just fuckin hate their other living relatives and specifically write that if anything happens to us Bruce goes to Alfred, or Bruce goes to a relative for like 2 months and it Does Not Work and either Bruce or Alfred bribe a judge to make Alfred his guardian. Lots of options, all of them A Weird Situation Everybody Knows About.
I think partly because of trying to maintain normalcy in Bruce's life (and because of his own emotional issues) Alfred does hold onto the butler/valet thing maybe a little harder than might have been ideal, but if he dresses Bruce he's just lying clothes out for him on the bed or helping him get dressed up for important events. There's no point for Alfred to drive him around-- by all rights Alfred should have his own driver-- and they should have a cook and housemaid and maybe they have Dory like in the batman 2022, but it's still a weird thing to be, essentially, raised by the staff.
(I think maybe that's a separate point but I do think it should play more into the conception of Brucie as a person. He's not just comfortably empty headed and kind to 'the help' because he's stupid and never had parents to teach him how a rich man ought to behave. He's that way because he was raised by the help. Not even in the normal way where you pay/kidnap a nanny to raise your kids instead of her own. Just straight up the butler and the housekeeper and the family physician. [Bruce knows Leslie's a surgeon but his association is still like, 'ah, yes, my pediatrician who showed up to all my birthdays whether I wanted one or not.'])
The thing is that when this is happening as Bruce is a kid, it's weird, but like, it's normal too. They get a closer relationship than child and butler usually do. It's normal for a younger kid to not control his meals too much but once he's an older teen he makes requests for dinner and it happens. He starts growing independent and comes to Alfred less for advice, sometimes making him worry, but he's becoming an adult and soon he won't need Alfred at all!
...and then Bruce runs off with a few hundred thousand dollars in cash and vanishes for years without a word.
When he comes back he's got this absolutely deranged idea in his head about going out and violently making the city a place people are afraid to commit crimes. Sure petty theft and carjacking, but no: he's going to make mafiosos afraid. He's going to very specifically make them feel unsafe in their own homes. He's going to terrorize every crooked cop and politician until quitting and struggling for the rest of their lives sounds like a better option than continuing to take an extra 10k home a month.
....so anyway, Alfred unfortunately loves this kid too much to throw him into Arkham, and it seems like he'd be pretty hard to wrestle now after going through all that assassin training.
So early Alfred takes on what eventually sort of gets outsourced to Oracle, because even if he hasn't been around it since Martha and Thomas were alive he remembers more about upper crust society behavior and Bruce needs to nail it down. So it's not just "here's the summary of the daily newspaper master bruce" it's "this is Julia Danvers she's the only heiress to an oil field fortune and has an allergy to shellfish. She's sort of into environmentalism but isn't really thinking it through and any real complicated solutions that would cause damage to the business make her feel like the end of her family line, which of course ends with a woman and they're going to blame her for being a woman and ruining the business for everyone else. So when you talk to her, here is what I think you should do..."
Bruce doesn't pick his meals anymore because he barely eats so Alfred makes a protein shake with so many other added nutrients that you do have to ease yourself onto them unless you want to absolutely annihilate your gut and suffer in the bathroom for three days. Of course, Bruce never had to think about this, because Alfred did the easing on himself by varying the inputs over the course of a month gradually with the rest of his meals that were easy digestables.
Talking down from fear gas isn't something they plan for but it is something that like: Bruce is seeing a monster. It is telling him the terrible things it will do.
It is using Alfred's voice, so Bruce has to believe there's a good reason for it to do those things, and gives himself over to it.
It's not just that Alfred puts aside what he'd carefully raised and hoped for to ruthlessly try and keep alive what he has. It's that Bruce knows he's being handled, and allows it.
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unsur8 · 10 months
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This is my first request, and asked for by one of my best friends. I’ll be honest, I didn’t like how this turned out, and it’s certainly not my best work, but I need to deliver it in time for Christmas since this is a holiday edition piece.
SW: oral (male receiving), praise, possessiveness, bondage, slight overstimulation, established relationship
Word count: 1341
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Dragon’s Treasure
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The work of Fontaine’s Iudex was relentless. Even on Christmas Eve, he was tired and stressed. At the end of the day, all he wanted to do was return home to his sweet lover.
Although he wasn’t expecting to see his dear husband on their bed, shirtless with a red ribbon around his torso, the ribbon crossed your chest and wrapped around your back with a bow resting on your lower back to tie it all together.
“Welcome home,” you say with a cheeky smile. Neuvillete was a stressed man, and surely a present like this—like you—would surely relieve some tension in order to have a good Christmas day.
Neuvillete took his time making his way towards you while pulling on the cuffs of his gloves and setting them on top of the dresser. “This is quite the gift.” His hands slid over the sheets as he crawled onto the bed until he was hovering over you. “You may need to work on your craftsmanship.” His finger slipped under the portion of ribbon around your chest. It was loosely tied, but Neuvillete couldn’t blame you. You had done this all on your own.
Neuvillete’s cold hands went to your hips, making you slightly shiver. “I thought unwrapping the gift would be more exciting anyway.” Your hands go to the nape of his neck, and you pull him into a sweet kiss.
The kiss was brief before Neuvillete pulled away. “I believe we can make use of this.” His hand slides to your back and pulls apart the bow with ease.
Neuvillete leans back to look at his work. Your hands were bound above your head with the red ribbon. Dark hickeys decorated your chest, and his lips began to trail your collarbone once again. To say Neuvillete was possessive is an understatement. He loved seeing those dark patterns on your body—his bite marks and handprints—so everybody knew you were his.
“You’re rather needy,” you coo lightheartedly. Neuvillete was already rutting his hips against yours. He was so pent-up, it was almost painful how much his cock throbbed for you. “Let me taste you.” The feeling of Neuvillete’s heavy cock in your mouth was something that would never get old for you. His breathy moans, the taste of his pre on your tongue... It was all too enticing to resist.
Neuvillete’s hands went to the waistband of your pants. “No.” His tone was simple and authoritative. “I’d prefer to indulge in you.” In a motion so slow it was almost agonizing, he pulled off your remaining clothes. You were shameless when it came to Neuvillete. As he wrapped tentative fingers around your shaft, you let out a quiet whine. As his fingers slowly worked, he licked a slow stripe from the base to the tip. Instinctively, you attempted to pull on his hair as you squirmed beneath him. The result was struggling against the ribbon tied tightly around your wrists. You wanted to bring Neuvillete closer. You just wanted to drown in him—his scent, touch, and calm gaze. This man deserved everything, and you wanted—needed—to give him everything.
“Neuvi..!” Your legs slightly shook as he took all of you into his mouth. His hands gripped your thighs gently as he slowly bobbed his head.
Neuvillete momentarily replaced his mouth with his hands. “You’re doing so well,” he murmured lowly. His thumbs rubbed circles on your hips as he took you into his mouth again. When your hips began to rut against him, he pushed them down firmly. The hydro sovereign's strength was unparalleled. Despite usually being a gentle lover, he held you down with such force that the result would be light bruises.
Drool dribbled down Neuvillete’s chin, the corner of his mouth slick with saliva. Your moans and whines made him so painfully hard, he couldn’t help but rut against the mattress for some kind of relief. The dragon wanted to make you his, and his only. Granted, you were already married to each other, but every time Neuvillete got a taste of you, inhaled your scent, and felt your skin underneath his hands—good heavens, he wanted to claim you. Your legs shook, and your eyes squeezed tight. You were so close as your whines turned desperate.
And then nothing.
Neuvillete had pulled away, panting slightly, and his breath was heavy. “Don’t tease me like that.” You complained, but your tone was almost pathetic. You began to get frustrated due to how your body was begging for release.
Neuvillete undid his pants, kicking them off as he climbed on top of you and nipped at your collarbone once more. His length throbbed against your stomach. “Patience.” He wanted to watch you cum, your face contorted as white covered your stomach.
“Let me have you,” Neuvillete whispered into your neck. His warm breath raised goosebumps on your arms and scalp.
“Please,” you beg from his torment. “I need you.”
That was all Neuvillete needed. He leaned back and lined himself up with you. He pressed the head inside, groaning as he slowly filled you up to the hilt. As you adjusted to his length, he peppered soft kisses on your cheeks. “You’re taking me so well.”
Once you gave Neuvillete permission to move, he started slow, gradually picking up the pace. He tossed your legs over his shoulders, hitting you deeper. He bit the inside of your plush thigh as you squirmed underneath him, your back arching. With hooded eyes, he focused on your face, eyebrows furrowed, and mouth slightly open as you whined his name.
“Such a good boy.” Neuvillete’s breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock. He loved how your legs trembled and how you were reduced to mere babbling as he plowed you. You were his, and Neuvillete would not let you go.
Feeling himself getting close, Neuvillete wrapped his long fingers around your cock and pumped you to the rhythm of his thrusts. He’ll be damned if he cums before you. You began to throb in his hand, your moans growing higher in pitch. “That’s it,” Neuvillete murmured with a breathy groan. 
He watched you become undone underneath him with a satisfied moan. White painted his knuckles and your stomach. Giving your thigh one last bite, he moved his hands to your hips. His low groans became slightly louder. Tears pricked your eyes from overstimulation, and your legs shook wildly.
“So good to me.” Neuvillete’s hips stuttered as he twitched inside of you. The sheets became messy as some leaked out of you. Neuvillete pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of your thigh before slowly pulling out, the slight overstimulation making him wince.
He kissed your collarbone, trailing your jaw, until he reached your lips. As you kissed, he reached up and undid the ribbon binding your hands. Finally, you could hold your husband. Your hands went to the nape of his neck and pulled him closer. Being able to touch Neuvillete was almost a relief. Normally, during intimate activities, he would squeeze your hand, or you would sometimes claw his back. Perhaps he got tired of the scratches and needed a break, but you couldn’t deny the tenderness of being able to touch him again.
“You did good,” Neuvillete mused as he slightly pulled away.
Your hands played with his hair gently. You couldn’t get enough of the silkiness, or perhaps you loved it just because it was his. “I assume you liked your ‘gift’?”
Neuvillete let out a short, breathy laugh in response. “Yes, I did.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and laid next to you, hugging you from behind. He nuzzled into your neck. This man was obsessed with everything about you: your smell, taste, sweat and tears, voice, mannerisms... He loved everything.
“Neuvi, we need to get cleaned up.” You attempt to push him away gently, but he just holds you tighter.
Neuvillete sighed lightly, his breath hot on your neck, giving you goosebumps. “Just give me a moment, dear.” He wanted this moment to last just a bit longer.
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everybody plays the fool
pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader
request: not requested, just based on personal experience & struggles rn lol
warnings: fluff, angst, loving someone else who is in a relationship, hurt, unrequited love? kinda?
note: recently experienced this with someone very important to me so super slay! some of these quotes are exactly what he said, which is kinda funny to use them in a fic. anyway, enjoy your early christmas present since i havent posted in 9 months!!!
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remus lupin was not a bad person by any means, no, but at the present moment, you wish he was so you had some kind of 'backup' for your hurt.
you and remus had been close for a number of years, your relationship flourishing once you joined the order. he was very protective and observant of you, ready to jump into action if you needed his help - but he was not overwhelming. he respected you, that much was clear, and if you needed him to care for you, he'd be there in a heartbeat.
his standing with romantic relationships was something that you were not always 100% clear on, and you never pushed him to clarify or share that part of his life with you. but members of the order had told you of past partners, and to your knowledge, he was single - and life was good. you felt comfortable being a bit more flirty with him and hanging around him more often than usual. remus never seemed to mind and was glad to have you around, and your heart fluttered like a golden snitch.
well, up until you found out he had a girlfriend.
when word had spread, you backed off immediately. flirting with him, making suggestive comments, and of the sorts was no longer your place, and while it stung, you respected it. ruining a relationship was not on your bucket list. but really, you shouldn't have worried too much about yourself.
remus had been showing you around grimmauld place, as sirius typically had old photos of their younger selves, and when you had discovered a bunch of old polaroids of the marauders, remus was quick to delve into his past at hogwarts. you ran your thumb over the photos, fondly looking at the group of boys.
you glanced up at remus, "i have to say, rem, this photo looks nothing like you," a soft laugh escaping your lips.
remus chuckled, "that was when i was young, y/n, full of hopes and dreams, handsome. you missed my prime."
you laughed along with him, but you sensed part of words held a bit of truth behind them, "i feel robbed of not being around during your prime, with the way you describe it."
remus shrugged, a sigh escaping him, "yes, well, that was when i used to be somewhat attractive and before all of this madness."
the words slipped before you could stop, "in a non-weird, platonic way, you're still attractive so don't let time control your happiness and contentment with your life, remus."
he blushed from your words, smiling lightly, "in a non-weird, platonic way, i kind of like that you said that."
you looked at one another, your lips mindlessly swiping over your lips. remus cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that-"
you shook your head, "no, i overstepped - i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable..."
it was now remus's turn to shake his head, a soft smile on his face, "we both apologized, so i think we're even, darling. I'll see you at dinner."
after that first encounter, you decided to put some distance between you and lupin; you had figured it was the best option in avoiding any kind of awkward tension. and, for the most part, it worked. there were a few instances where you had to interact, but it was for the order and while things weren't necessarily awkward, it settled your mind.
soon enough, christmas had rolled around and yourself, along with the rest of the order and the kids, had decided to spend the holidays at grimmauld place. the house was bustling with such positive, happy energy and it was exactly what you needed.
remus and yourself were currently outside on the steps, sitting down as you people-watched. it was quite calming, had you not been a bit anxious considering it was your first time being alone with him in a while.
"so," remus started, "how have you been? i feel like we have not seen each other in a while."
you turned to him, smiling lightly, "good! currently doing a lot of raids for the ministry and sometimes that includes sleeping outside and just waiting. not ideal, but it's...life."
remus raised his eyebrows, "that's hell! you deserve better than that - do you have anywhere to sleep, like a tent?"
you shrugged, "sometimes we can conjure one, other times we decide to wait it out."
playing with his fingers, remus blew out a breath, "i'd say i would join you, but considering we spend enough time together here as it is, I'm not sure that it would be as fun."
you shook your head, "you said it yourself, we haven't seen each other in a while - it would be a blast having you there, if it weren't for the ministry." remus smiled at your reply.
soon enough, remus and you fell into a routine whenever you both were at grimmauld place: talking a stroll outside, sharing stories about your childhoods and memories that held importance, before heading back inside for the night.
you were incredibly thankful for grimmauld place. it had become a home, somewhere to rely on if you just needed some bustling of life, socialization, or love. tonight, an important quidditch playoff was on, and soon enough, the adults were becoming tipsy due to muggle alcohol.
you wouldn't have taken any action if remus's girlfriend was around, but she wasn't, so you took this opportunity to help the lycanthrope upstairs and into bed.
"remus lupin, you party animal," you chuckled, helping him discard of his shoes and vest. his face was a bit flushed as he laughed, "y/n, i-i don't want to-to be, but if i must."
with a snort, you shook off remus's vest, "even when drunk, you're still able to form coherent, intelligent sentences. here," you paused, placing some muggle ibuprofen and water on his bedside table, "take care of yourself for tomorrow morning."
remus gave a slightly-drunken smile, "thanks for taking care of me."
you folded up his vest, placing it on a chair in his bedroom, "of course, anything for the best guy around."
he groaned, "you don't have-have to say that, it's not true."
in your head, you sighed, 'oh merlin, please do not a self-pity drunk, remus.'
you sat down next to him on the bed, "rem, I'm not sure where that thought came from, but you are an amazing guy - you're the best. none of this negative self-talk, okay?"
remus laid back, eyes glossing over, "i'm sorry if i don't live up to that all the time, if i changed your perception of me."
you leaned over, grasping his hand, "remus, life isn't about keeping score or living up to expectations. it's about loving the way that you are living and as long as you are happy, that is the most important thing. be kinder to yourself, rem."
remus sighed, holding onto your hand a bit tighter, "ah, I'm just rambling...but y/n, i appreciate you, genuinely. i love you."
pang.
you gave a saddened smile, but hid it well enough that he didn't ask questions, "i love you too, remus."
remus then began giggling to himself, hiding his face between his hands. you laughed as well, unsure as to why, but he had brightened your gloomy feelings immediately. with a squeeze of his hand, you questioned remus, "what's got you so giggly, lupin?"
he laughed softly once more, "just-just thinking about the time i slept at the top of the astronomy tower."
your eyebrows raised high with surprise, "excuse me? when was this, and can we do it at some point?"
remus nodded his head excitedly, "of course, darling. it-it was a few years ago, yes, but quite fun! but, i should warn you - it gets veryyyy chilly up there." his eyes went wide, as though remembering the cold, and shivered. you tightened the blanket around him.
with a smile, you continued, "no worries, we'll bring our fair share of pillows and blankets, don't worry, rem."
remus looked over at you, his drunkenness slowly leaving his body, "can we share, y/n?"
as if you'd say no.
"of course, remus, whatever you'd like."
"hmm, no pillow wall."
you raised an eyebrow, "pillow wall? for what, rem?"
he hummed, "to separate us, but we don't need one...i like it when you call me that, rem."
your face flushed red, but hope he didn't notice as he continued, "i tend to get hot in the middle of the night."
'don't agitate the conversation, don't encourage it.'
"well, rem, unfortunately i'm the exact opposite and i get cold in the middle of the night."
remus softly chuckled, playing with your fingers, "oh, so you may need help to warm up? you know, you could always get warmer...there are certainly some ways."
shit.
you sighed, a sad smile on your face as you brushed remus's hair back, "get some sleep before you say something you might regret. goodnight, rem." and with that, you left the room in a hurry.
you cried that night, upset and angry at yourself for playing into his drunken flirting and suggestive tones. he clearly didn't know what he was saying, but you did, and took advantage of that. ugh, you hated how that made you feel. he had a girlfriend who he loved (you assume), and what you said and suggested...oh god, how were you two going to be friends?
remus awoke the next morning, aware of what he had said. if he was being honest, he knew what he said to you as he wasn't really that drunk. and he knew once you were aware of that fact, you'd be even more upset at him. getting out of bed, remus was met with the smell of tea, which wafted through the house until he saw you outside on the steps, knee bouncing nervously.
the lycanthrope met you outside and without looking behind you, you knew who it was. remus sat down beside you, tonks on his mind as he tried to formulate what he was going to say. nymphadora was his priority, his girlfriend, his love. but why did he do this to her, to you?
"how're you feeling this morning? any hangover symptoms?" you questioned, just trying to move past the awkwardness.
remus shrugged, "i feel fine, believe it or not. how are you?"
you bit your lip, "okay. didn't get much sleep, wasn't able to shut my brain off." or your tears.
remus glanced at you; you looked exhausted and with the fresh-looking bags under your eyes, he knew you cried. and with that knowledge, his heart panged.
you took in a shaky breath before whispering, "are we okay after last night? i-i couldn't sleep because of it."
remus sighed, nodding his head, "i couldn't either, darling."
you cringed, and he noticed.
remus continued, "it's not on you, y/n, it's on me, and i'm sorry. it was a shitty thing of me to do."
you looked down, your fingernails becoming the most interesting thing in the world, "I'm sorry, too. i shouldn't have continued the conversation. it's not all on you, rem."
remus looked towards you but your head remained down, "y/n...i-i think we both went with it but it got real at some point but i did that." he paused before continuing, "let me take responsibility."
you furrowed your eyebrows, meeting his eyes once you looked up, "remus, you were drunk, i fed into your drunken conversation-"
he interrupted you, "if we're being honest, i wasn't that drunk. let me be better, y/n, please."
your heart ached as it shattered into pieces, trying to mend itself back together. he wasn't that drunk when he said those things to you last night? you became increasingly confused, upset, angry, heartbroken. this man had worked his way into your heart, becoming not only a true friend, but someone you loved. and when a flirty conversation began taking a turn, he knew exactly what he was doing, saying.
but you couldn't have him, and the way this conversation is headed, you would never.
"i just want us to be okay," you whispered the half-truth, wishing you could say what you truly wanted from him. that you wanted him.
remus grasped your hand before letting go as he felt you tense, "you are not in the wrong at all, y/n. we are more than okay."
with a nod, you bit your lip once more, "just-just let me know if i overstep, okay?"
the lycanthrope looked over your face before turning towards the street, "i wanted you to overstep last night, y/n, so take that worry and throw it away. i truly wasn't that drunk, and what i said - what i did - was unfair and selfish, and i won't do it again."
you wanted to sob. he wanted you to overstep, to break his resolve concerning you and his current relationship. remus lupin may not have been entirely sober but he was aware of what he wanted, and he doesn't deny it. this was his way of moving on, of validating your feelings and hoping it wouldn't affect anything. he'd get past it, he had to. he loved nymphadora.
but you loved him. remus lupin gave you thousands of butterflies in your stomach to the point where it made you nauseous. you showed up to grimmauld place more often than you liked just for the off-chance of seeing remus. your autonomic body functions shut down and your palms became increasingly sweaty at the thought of him. you were enamored with remus lupin, but he was enamored with someone else who he didn't see as often as you.
you were the fool in the game of love. you were there as a convenience.
you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that thinking of him made you nauseous - but in a romantic way. you want to know what it is like to kiss him, to wake up next to him, to say "i love you" in a romantic sense.
before you realized it, tears began running down your cheeks. remus turned you towards him, wiping your tears. you felt as though you were going to be sick.
"i'm sorry i made you cry," he whispered, remorse and guilt heavy in his tone. he knew what you were feeling.
you shook your head, making remus move his hands as you wipied your tears, "ugh, no, emotions are just dumb."
remus sighed with a nod, "that they are, and they get us into trouble."
your mind was racing.
he continued, "but having and expressing them is the most important thing any of us can do. whether we are overstepping or not." more tears began to flow as remus finished, "that's why everyone loves you so much; emotions are your superpower. i love working alongside you, and knowing you, y/n. truly."
with a tear-ridden face, you turned to remus and gave him a sad smile, "thank you, remus." with a pause, wondering if you should say anything else, you continued, "I'll see you inside."
before he could say anything else, you went inside and up to your bedroom, the covers becoming your comfort and safe place for your tears.
you were utterly in love with remus lupin, but he was utterly in love with nymphadora tonks. and while you guessed that remus knew your feelings towards him, he had an obligation to her, history with her, and you'd never compare. you wanted to overstep, but doing so would be wrong. you knew that time would pass, that you'd get over remus lupin eventually, but at the moment, he owned your heart while he loved someone else.
you assumed, that everybody plays the fool at some point in the game of love.
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crepesuzettey · 12 days
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Are we giving our opinions on LWS now? Lol okay. Personally I think it’s fine. I like all the episodes so far well enough and find them funny, but I don’t think it’s anything outstanding. I get the criticism.
I think I remember someone saying that the “eating a snack in a business office” vibe was kinda weird and slightly off-putting and I kind of agree with that lol. Though I find it interesting to see different areas of the building, I definitely also appreciate the sets of Smosh Mouth and FWS.
I think it’s the fact that it’s called “Lunchtime with Smosh” that makes it feel a bit half-hearted. Obviously it is its own thing but by using that title it is connecting itself to the original show. Even though they’re just eating a small snack and then moving on. You’re kinda asking for comparisons there lol.
And yeah, it may be true that this is the most casual we see them. They’re talking about not random topics and the conversation moves along naturally. But on the other hand, I do feel a little like the conversation topic plans, combined with the business-y setting also gives off less of a personal vibe. The thing is that Smosh Mouth also has planned topics, BUT — and I know everybody is probably tired of this — it does feel different when Erin is the one kind of moderating everything.
This is not anything against Erin — I don’t dislike her — but more about the role she is playing here. Because LWS was presented as “Ian and Anthony content”, she is sort of a third party here and she plays that role (also because she directs it, right?). I’m sure this is also partly because Ian and Anthony are too busy to plan for it or something, and she isn’t a cast member so she may not want to be “advertised” as part of the podcast, but anyway. It does make a difference to me.
I don’t take issue with FWS in the same way because, even though the topic is decided beforehand, it is still mostly Ian and Anthony (and any guests) talking to each other, and the execution of it feels less dictated. Although, the reason why the guest format kept getting worse was because it felt more structured imo.
Also, that isn’t inherently a bad thing, it’s the way that they do it. Like it never feels like LWS has a particularly strong brand or anything to support it (a set really helps with this for viewers). FWS also struggled with this when they kept doing guest episodes and adding gimmicks that don’t really add anything to the conversation, in order to fill the time (instead of maybe getting cast members to watch the videos with them and prompt more interesting conversations — the Food Battle 2006 vs 2016 episode was great because of this — or just having them watch more videos).
With LWS though, I feel like I always expect to not like the episodes that much and then I end up enjoying them anyway lol
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beanghostprincess · 9 months
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We talk a lot about Sanji protecting Usopp, but we keep ignoring how beautiful and hot it would be for Usopp to lose his mind over somebody hurting Sanji.
There's this huge fight against another crew, and in theory, everyone has their own fights already and there aren't any problems. But turns out the guy Sanji is fighting against is a sniper or, well, a long-distance fighter and something Sanji can't win with his combat style. But he's stubborn and he keeps wanting to win because otherwise he'll feel useless (he already can't fight against women, he's not gonna let this guy do this to him).
But he's bruised and bleeding and struggling to keep up more every time, and everybody's focused on their fights so they don't pay much attention to it. It's Sanji, he'll handle it. But he can't handle it, actually, and it hurts. Mentally. Physically. Everything hurts. But he doesn't give up or ask for help because that's just the way Sanji is. The guy he's fighting against is about to pull one of his moves, and Sanji might be stubborn, but he's smart enough to know that this one is going to be the end of the fight and probably him if it keeps hurting him this way.
He's hurt and weak and breathless and scared, for once, so fucking scared. So he closes his eyes and prays for the best.
Then, all of a sudden, he hears a loud scream and incoherent cursing when a presence appears right in front of him, making him open his eyes.
"Hey, babe." Usopp smiles down at him quickly before returning his eyes to the damaged guy in front of them, preparing his slingshot for another attack. "Need a helping hand from your amazing captain Usopp?" Sanji doesn't even have the strength to talk. Too embarrassed about it. Too hurt, too. The cook presses his hands into fists and tries to stand up, failing and falling to the ground in the same second. Usopp frowns, concerned. "Love-"
"I can help! I can win! Just-" He feels like crying, but that would be more humiliating than his boyfriend having to save his ass. He keeps staring at Usopp's back, and he just feels so protected and warm by his presence that it almost makes him feel bad how nice it feels to be covered. "I can do this!"
"You can't." Usopp mutters, ready to attack again. "But that's fine. I'll just do what you can't, right?"
The cook can't fight against that logic. Their logic. His logic, to begin with. But he still feels like he hasn't done enough to help. Like he's a failure for even thinking about how romantic and good it feels to be taken care of this way for once.
But even if the frustration is still a lot, he gives in to Usopp's words. "I guess." He sees Usopp aiming at the guy, far away from them. So much Sanji can't even see him properly. His boyfriend stays quiet for a long while, his breathing is heavy and his hands are shaking. Sanji keeps hearing him curse under his breath, and he doesn't know where his funny and charismatic sniper has gone. So that raises a question: "Are- Are you mad at me? For not asking for help?"
Because it has happened before. Countless times, at this point. Usopp never gets truly mad, but he does always end up worrying too much and begging Sanji to stop fighting on his own all the time and start relying on others.
Sanji can see some sort of smile from where he's sitting. "Mad? At you?" His hands stop shaking to aim better, squinting. He never ends up answering the question, leaving it in just a sarcastic scoff. "Are you alright? How much did he hurt you?"
The cook frowns at that, holding his bleeding arm close to his chest and refusing to look down. "It's fine. Chopper will-"
"How much did he hurt you, Sanji?" His voice is way deeper now. Serious. It makes Sanji shiver under his words.
He doesn't have the heart to tell him, but he does it anyway. "My arm-"
"Legs?" Sanji ignores the shaking that suddenly takes over Usopp. "Can you move?"
"I'm sorry-"
"You have nothing to apologize for." And then, he goes back to aiming. This time it does feel like he's about to attack. "I'll protect you when you can't. I'll fight when you can't. I'll save you when you can't save yourself. I'll make people regret their actions when you can't... And this scumbag has some apologizing to do."
So Sanji watches as his boyfriend takes the other sniper down with sudden, swift movements that the cook can't even see properly and doesn't even understand, at this point. He keeps watching as Usopp beats the shit out of this random pirate because he decided to hurt him. The sniper keeps on attacking and attacking and attacking and Sanji can only see him move in front of him, cursing under his breath and hearing his name being repeated over and over again like a mantra Usopp keeps to gain courage.
The fight ends almost instantly for Sanji, the obvious winner of the fight shining over him with an exhausted smile and some wounds that aren't nearly as bad as Sanji's. "What? Impressed of your boyfriend saving your ass for once?"
Sanji doesn't know how to tell him that he has never been more in love with him.
They help him get up from the floor (Franky ends up carrying him), and nobody makes a single comment about this thing happening. Not even Mosshead, who's walking right behind him with Usopp by his side. Sanji pretends not to, but he listens to every word of the conversation.
"Well done there." Zoro keeps his monotone tone, but he always sounds a little bit happier when talking to Usopp. "I'm surprised you weren't scared to death."
Sanji senses Usopp being offended even before it happens. "Hey! Have more faith in me, idiot!" The sniper sighs. "The one thing I'm good at and you still say these things..."
He doesn't have to turn around to know Zoro's shrugging his shoulders. "I just figured you'd do your thing."
"I was scared." Sanji can't gasp at the confession, but he buries his head deeper on Franky's back. "But it's just- My feet just moved on their own." The cook knows Usopp's looking at him. He always knows. "Besides," He takes a deep breath, his next words coming out from a place deep in his heart Sanji has never seen. "I can't let anybody take him away from me."
Sanji fights the urge to jump to his arms, and decides to give in to sleep right away, not fearing who might attack from behind anymore.
Usopp will just do what Sanji can't.
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