#if you have any more thoughts on this btw i will very fucking gladly hear you out!!!!!!!

[teddybeartoji]

mickey i need ur thoughts on jjk men (esp satoru) helping out and showing love for their partner with autism

like uuuuuuuu i was thinking abt toru keeping a pair of his sunglasses with him hust in case youre visually overwhelmed. ORRRR him teleporting you to a quieter space when he notices that theres too many complex sounds that are upsetting you.

ughhhhh like imagine one of them remembering that pressure is soothing for you and js puts their full body weight whenever you come back home from a bad day.

GUHHHH them keeping candles of your favorite scents and alwaya makes sure to keep your safe foods stocked up whenever you visit

OH NOW I'M REALLY KISSING YOU GRAY MY BELOVED!!! THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL LITTLE ASK WAHHH I GOT SO GIDDY

i agree with everything you said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i know that every single one of them would do anything and everything to help you out!! but i did pick some things out that really made me think of them!!! anyway hello my fellow autistic ppl this one is for you all i love you very very much<333

satoru 100% carries extra sunglasses with him and i think he'd actually carry his black blindfold aswell. obvs he's not gonna make you wear it as you're moving through public but he'd lead you to a quiet spot and then just let you have a moment. he's either sitting you down next to him or he's holding you against his chest, protecting you from every single ray of light that could possibly make it any worse for you. bc honestly... sunglasses are sometimes just not enough for me personally. i've had my fair share of times where i just have to cover my eyes with my hands bc it just hurts so much.

we all know that satoru is a big yapper but i know he needs his quiet time too. i think he would love to just Do Nothing with you in complete silence. maybe you're both just taking a nap together, maybe you're just laying in the sun out in the park. maybe you're resting your head on his lap, maybe he's resting his on yours. it's all just about gentle touches and looks.

he loves it when you ramble and he's literally your biggest hypeman!! he's ready to spend all of his fucking money on you and any fucking equipment you could ever need. you want a new game or a new console? they're both already waiting for you at home. you want to start drawing? he has already ordered a tablet for you to practise on. you want to get into photography? he's buying you a camera and three different lenses. he wants you to be happy and he wants you to be able to do everything you could ever possibly want. he's just the sweetest guy ever i am crying rn actually:((

he's the best little autism bf btw. bc he gets it. he understand. he knows. he knows all about the light sensitivity. he knows all about the difficulty of eating "normal" foods, always munching on candy and snacks bc that's just easier. he knows about the fidgeting, he knows about the innate need to have somebody lay on top of you. he knows about the rambling and the hyperfixations. he knows about the confusing social clues and the ridiculous differences of speaking tones. he knows about the eye-contact problems - whether you're someone, who struggles to keep it or you're someone, who can't tear your eyes from everybody else just like him - he understands! he knows about being straighforward and speaking exactly what's on your mind and then being scolded for it. he knows about Not Really Understanding personal space. he truly does understand and he's ready to do anything and everything to help you cope with Life.

toji is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee best weighted blanket and i stand by that. he's so fucking huge and he's so fucking heavy - he's perfect. he's gonna tease you about it but just a little!! you tug him by his hand and he gladly takes his place on top of you bc let's be honest... he's gonna love it, too. he's protecting you! he's taking care of you in a way that doesn't need words! he's trying his best! and if this is what you need - he is going to do it!!!

also with the light and sound sensitivity - he'd gladly pull you into his chest and cover your eyes with his big ass palm. and it would feel soo comforting wtf. the weight of it and just the fact that it's him?? fuck, i know it'd be so good. or your ears. he's placing them on your ears, muffling the overwhelming sounds while cradling you and wahh:(( he'd make you feel so safe.

suguru and shoko and parallel play. it's amazing. they will read a book while you're gaming. or suguru's painting while you're reading. or shoko's having her morning smoke and coffee while you're doing your skincare (i'm sorry i just can't get out the beautiful picture of her sitting on the little windowsill of your bathroom, a cig inbetween her fingers and a cup of coffe in her hand. no words are being spoken - it's just the sound of the birds outside, the water running and her gulping down her little espresso. thank you for listening.)

or suguru's doing his little home workout routine as you're crocheting. or it's you and shoko just laying on your shared bed scrolling on your phones in silence. could literally be whatever. they're gonna glance at you every once in a while, they're gonna ask how you're doing, how you're feeling and then they're gonna give you a tender smile and a kiss on your cheek and continue on. i'm melting just thinking about it.

suguru is obviously also going to be there for you if you have sleeping problems. he understands them all too well and he's pulling out all the stops to help you fall asleep (and himself). he's gonna make the tea one night and you'll make it the next night. it's equal. maybe you're also going to take a lovely little bath together, you'll giggle exhaustedly as you both slur out very stupid jokes and after that you'll both climb under the covers and take turns in listening to each others heartbeats and (hopefully) fall asleep.

shoko and sarcasm. she definitely makes a lot of sarcastic jokes and comments and she'll be a bit confused at first when you just blurt out the good-old "i don't know whether you're joking or not". but i think she'd find it super cute. she'll still occasionally make the comments but she'll make sure to check in whether you got it or not. i think she would tease but she'd do it very lightly (she definitely cackles when satoru doesn't understand sarcasm though lmao but you're her baby and she doesn't want you to feel bad). and i think she would love if you made terrible sarcastic jokes. like she would laugh until there are tears prickling in her eyes and you'd still be like ????? i don't understand and then she'd laugh even more. she's so cute.

kento is always ready to cook for you. he understands how hard it can be, how overwhelming it can be. he doesn't mind it a bit. i truly think this would be good for the both of you! he loves to cook and it's such a relaxing thing for him, and it's even better now that he knows he can see you fill your cheeks with delight. he needs you to eat well and he will make sure you do!

i also think that he's so patient with you and he'd never ever make you feel like you have to speak with him. he buys little plushies that you can turn inside-out, a pink side and a blue side - indicating how you're doing on the Speaking department that day. and these tiny interactive pins and you can express whatever you're feeling without ever speaking a word. he never pressures you in any way, always just reward you with more reassurance and a kiss to your temple.

he's ALSO the best listener. like he never talks over you. never. not even on an accident???? it's a superpower i think. he let's you talk at your own pace and he just stares at you with very soft eyes:((

wait i also think that shoko, utahime and yuki would gladly speak for you. in a sense of if you have social anxiety or you stutter or anything like that, they'd easily take up the task of ordering for you! they literally have all of your orders remembered and everything.

[sleepysnk]

i did this and.. yeah ❤ i hope you enjoy! reader is aged up btw!

Good Girl

Pairings: Carla Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW

A sigh escaped (Y/N)'s mouth as she exited her car, the day was gloomy and ugly. Puffy clouds blanketed the sky, covering the bright sun, and the pavement was now wet from the thunderstorm that had just blown by minutes before.

Shitty weather for her shitty feelings.

Her shitty feelings stemmed from her recent breakup with her boyfriend, Eren. The two had broken up days prior, due to some issues in their relationship. One thing led to another, and the two called it quits after some arguing; it was over within a blink of an eye.

She couldn't help but miss the brunette boy she once called her boyfriend, Eren was an amazing guy, but everything just suddenly changed within a year of them dating. Her heart felt heavy and her eyes were a bit swollen from all the crying she had done, she wasn't the happiest about it, but she knew she couldn't stay like this forever.

She stood outside his home, she decided to come by and pick up a few things she had left behind. Eren told her that he wasn't around, but to just come in and take whatever she needed.

It was simple, right?

She let out a shaky breath before turning the knob and entering his home, she inhaled the familiar scent of his home; something she missed dearly.

It was quiet in his home, usually when Eren was around, the house was full of energy and life. Without him here.. it felt.. odd, almost awkward.

She put her keys into her pocket and headed towards the staircase that led upstairs, she knew the way around his house like the back of her hand. It was almost like all of the memories of them together were playing in her mind at that exact moment.

She was about to head into his room when her eyes caught the light coming from the room down the hall.

It was his mother's room.

(Y/N) suddenly felt a feeling of panic when the realization that his mom was home. His mom. Did she know they had broken up? Eren and Carla were very close, especially after her divorce from his dad, but what if she thought differently of (Y/N) after this? Not all mothers like to hear the word 'break up'.

She was about to head into Eren's room, when the door opened down the hall.

"Eren! Are you- oh, hello (Y/N)! Are you looking for Eren?"

She didn't know what to say, her mouth went completely dry and all the words in her throat were caught. Carla seemed to be in a good mood, did she not know what happened?

"O-Oh! Hi Ms.Jaeger, um.. I'm not looking for Eren actually," she said, her voice sounding nervous.

Carla laughed a bit, "(Y/N), you don't need to call me Ms.Jaeger, Carla is fine. If you aren't here for Eren, what are you looking for? If you don't mind me asking."

So she didn't know.

She removed her hand from the doorknob. "Can I.. talk to you about something?" she asked, looking away from the woman.

Carla gave her a warm smile, she was used to seeing it all the time whenever she came over. "Of course! Come on in sweetie!" she waved her over towards her room.

(Y/N) shoved her hands into her pockets, she made her way down the hall and entered Carla's bedroom. She hadn't ever seen it before, there was always something about entering a parent's bedroom that put her at discomfort. She could never do it at a friend's house, it felt almost like it was forbidden.

"What's on your mind? You seem a little unlike yourself," Carla asked, breaking (Y/N) out of her thoughts.

She looked at the woman who was folding some laundry, a wave of sadness came over her seeing as it was Eren's clothes she was folding.

She swallowed thickly, "Well.. I don't know if you know yet, but.. Eren and I – well um.. – we broke up," she replied.

The room suddenly fell quiet, she took notice of how Carla stopped folding the clothes and her expression seemed to be of surprise and shock. She wasn't sure how she'd react, it was his mom for heaven's sake!

A sigh escaped her mouth. "I could see you two were growing apart.. Eren stopped speaking about you often, I knew something was coming, but I didn't expect it so soon. I'm sorry sweetheart," she said, coming towards (Y/N).

Carla held her arms open for a hug that she gladly took. A hug was much needed right now, considering not many people cared to listen to (Y/N) about what was bothering her.

She pulled away, a small sniffle came from her nose. "Thank you Carla," she replied, wiping a few tears that escaped her eyes.

Carla used the pad of her thumb to wipe her tears away. "Of course, you can always come to me about anything! It doesn't matter what terms you're on with Eren."

She felt comforted by her words, most parents would shun any ex out of the family, no matter what reason for a break up. It was sweet to her knowing that Carla would always be around, despite what happened between the two.

She watched Carla make her way to the side of her bed, she placed the green laundry basket on the ground, and climbed onto the bed.

"Come sit! You look like you haven't slept," she said, patting the pillow next to her.

She felt comfortable enough to come sit next to Carla, she had done it many times, the two had always been close. Considering that Eren was always a momma's boy, (Y/N) grew to become comfortable and open with Carla about a lot of things.

She removed her shoes before climbing onto the large bed, sometimes she'd forget that Carla was a single woman. She was always surprised at the things she'd have, like a large bed, or a big closet with only her clothing items.

Her head pressed against the wooden frame of the bed, it felt awkward for a few moments, she didn't know what to say exactly.

"I think Eren is going to be okay, if you're concerned about that."

Her eyes looked down at the sheets beneath her, it was true, (Y/N) was extremely worried about Eren. He had always had a hot temper and he took things very seriously, she wasn't sure what a break up would do to him. Though, it did need to happen. Considering all of the bad shit that happened in between.

"I hope he'll be fine.. he can always come to me whenever," she replied, crossing her legs.

Carla placed her hand onto her knee. "Don't worry about it sweetheart, despite Eren being who he is, I know he'll be okay. Just like you will," she said, tapping her knee a few times.

A smile formed onto (Y/N)'s features at her words, maybe Carla was right, maybe everything would be okay.

"Say (Y/N).. I know this may sound a bit personal but.. did you and Eren, ever..?"

Her face grew hot from the question, why was Carla asking? Sure, Eren and (Y/N) both had sex many times, but it was so odd for his own mom to bring it up. Most kids hide that shit from their parents before marriage, but, why now?

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, yes we did, if you want honesty. Though towards the end he stopped paying attention to me, so we didn't do it much anymore," she felt embarrassed, she wanted to disappear on the spot.

Carla didn't look at her after she replied, it gave (Y/N) some anxiety. What if Carla didn't like that Eren was sexually active?

"You kids and your hormones, I'm not going to judge though. I did plenty of wild things in my days," she laughed. She shifted her body around so she could face her, "Eren treated you with respect.. right?"

Her eyes filled with curiosity. "O-Of course! Eren always asked me before anything.." she muttered, shifting around on the bed.

Carla turned so her body was now facing (Y/N), the air began to feel thick between them and it was clear there was something going on here that wasn't exactly right.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her thigh, and it wasn't her own. Her eyes trailed up to see Carla's hand sitting there, what was she doing?

"You've always been a pretty girl, (Y/N)." she cooed, circling her thigh with her finger.

She swallowed thickly, was this really happening? This was Eren's mom, why was she being like this?

"What are you doing..?" (Y/N) asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

Carla only giggled, "You said Eren never paid attention to you in the end, no? How about I do it instead..?"

Was Carla actually saying she'd have sex with her?

(Y/N) didn't know what to think at the moment, what if someone walked in? If Eren saw what was going on he'd for sure be upset, and this was his mom. This wasn't some random woman.

"Just know there's no force here, if you don't want to, then we can just forget this whole thing. I just want to help you out sweetie," Carla said, rubbing her thigh once more.

She played with the skin of her fingernails, this was a difficult decision to make. Carla was a bit older than her, but (Y/N) did trust her a ton, her mind was so conflicted on what to do.

Fuck it.

"Sure.. help me out, Carla." she replied, looking towards her.

Carla's expression changed from surprise to a cocky smirk within a few seconds, she could see the excitement swirling around her hazel eyes. It sent chills down (Y/N)'s spine, she hadn't ever seen that look come from Carla before; not at her anyway.

"Lay down pretty.." she whispered, sitting up and unbuttoning her white top.

(Y/N) did what she was told, she laid down flat on her back, her head now pressed into the pillow. She felt the thumping of her heart beat against her chest, this was really happening.. and it wasn't a dream.

Her attention went towards Carla, who was already topless and wearing a black lace bra. The swell of her breasts stuck out from the fabric, her skin smooth, with a few small freckles around her chest.

"Don't be so shy, beautiful, I won't do anything too harsh," she said, a giggle coming from her mouth.

She laughed a bit, the awkwardness seeming to fade. Carla leaned down to press a kiss onto her lips, she could faintly taste the chapstick that she had put on a few minutes before she arrived. Their lips danced together, it made (Y/N)'s arms go around the woman's neck to bring her closer to her body.

Carla's hand played with the waistband of her leggings, she slid it underneath the fabric, and felt around her panties.

"Wet now aren't we? You're a dirty girl (Y/N).." Carla cooed, circling her finger around the damp spot of her clit.

A sudden gasp came from her throat, pleasure danced along her body making her brain turn to mush.

"Carla.." she whimpered as she played with her clit.

A smirk formed onto her features. "Take these off pretty.. I wanna see that pussy of yours,"

She lifted her hips off the bed to take off her leggings, she also took the opportunity to remove her shirt, exposing the bra she was wearing. Carla couldn't help but to savor the view of her body, she couldn't believe she looked this good underneath her clothes.

"So perfect.." she said, pressing a few kisses into her thigh. "Can I take these off?" she snapped the band of her panties against her skin.

(Y/N) nodded before speaking, "Yes."

Carla smirked before removing her white underwear, her wet cunt now on full display for her view. Carla grew wet from the sight of her pussy, it was so pretty, and she couldn't wait to devour it.

"What a pretty pussy you have, (Y/N)," she smirked, placing her hands on her thighs.

Chills went down her spine as Carla rubbed her finger along her swollen bead, she felt her cunt aching, it was uncomfortable; she didn't want to be teased.

"C-Carla.. can y-you start, please?" she asked, her voice almost coming out as a plea.

The woman chuckled at the sight before her, she hadn't expected Eren's ex girlfriend to be so submissive and needy. Then again, the two hadn't been doing too much, and she was a single girl.

Carla stood to remove her skirt, it slid down her hips and onto the floor. She needed to be more comfortable, she wanted to show (Y/N) some real action.

"Okay sweet girl," she said, looking up at her through her lashes.

A small gasp came from (Y/N)'s mouth as Carla's tongue made contact with her needy clit, her hips moved upwards towards her face, and her thighs started to tremble a bit from the touch.

Carla's hand found its way to her breast, where she began to massage and play with her nipples. A quiet moan escaped her mouth which sent vibrations along (Y/N)'s clit, it made her twitch and whimper.

"Carla! Shit!" she cried, putting her hands into the woman's hair.

Carla looked up at her, swirling her tongue around the most sensitive areas of her pussy. She inserted her finger into her hot, warm, cunt; the pleasure going along her body in waves.

"I love your pussy baby, fuck, how could Eren let this go?" she said, curling her finger to reach her g-spot.

(Y/N) cried out in pleasure from the feeling, her pussy was dripping wet, and her mind was becoming clouded from the euphoria. Carla knew what she was doing, the way her fingers would twist and curl to reach that spot, or the way she kissed at the bead of her swollen clit; it was like something she'd never felt before.

"Oh yes! Right there!" she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow.

Carla sucked on her clit one last time before pulling away, her chin covered in her slick arousal. "Come kiss me babygirl," she said, getting close to her face.

(Y/N) leaned in and pressed her lips against Carla's, she could taste herself on her tongue. Her walls fluttered around her finger, which made Carla smirk.

She moaned into the kiss as her movements began to speed up, her thumb brushed against her clit, she could feel the way (Y/N) was tightening around her which meant she was getting close. Carla wanted her to cum all over her fingers.

"Come on pretty girl.. cum all over me," Carla said, spreading her legs apart to see her cunt.

(Y/N)'s vision went white and her legs trembled as her orgasm took over her body, sparks of euphoria danced along her skin from the shock. Some sweat glistened onto her skin from the warm room.

Carla pulled her fingers out and brought them towards her tongue. "Suck."

She took her fingers to her mouth and licked the slick off of them, a small chuckle coming from Carla.

"Good girl, you're such a good girl (Y/N)."

-

The next day (Y/N) couldn't believe what happened the previous night, her mind kept clouding with thoughts of Carla going down on her.

She sat up in bed, it was still early morning. She reached for her phone on the nightstand, she noticed she had a text from someone.

More specifically, Eren.

Eren: so you like fucking my mom?

[rhysismydaddy]

An Artful Revenge pt. 3 (Feysand)

Part of the Damnation Series. 

Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 

~Feyre~

I spend three days figuring out what to do with the phone number. 

On Day 1, I decided I’d text, not call. It was the cowardly thing to do, but the thought of him answering the phone and putting me on the spot made me want to run and hide. 

Day 2 had been plain ole procrastination. I’d gone to the museum on the hope he’d be there, but like he’d said, that really was a horrible way of communicating.

Day 3, I decided, was the day of reckoning. I’d text him today. 

Shit, did billionaires even text? 

Maybe I should send a properly-formatted memo instead. 

And what should I even write? Hey seemed too casual. Hi, maybe? How’s your day going? Wanna make out? 

Gods, I’m bad at this.

After another two hours of staring at a blank screen, I send: Dinner tonight?

Then, because I realize I’m a fucking idiot: It’s Feyre, btw.

I throw my phone across the room in embarrassment, and put my head in my hands like that’ll unsend the message, then jump the couch like a hurdle when I hear a ding. 

And promptly frown when I read: If you’re going to ask me out, you have to call me like an adult.

I can practically hear his the smile in his voice, and I grit my teeth in annoyance.

But I call him anyway. 

“Look who grew up,” he says in lieu of hello, voice gravelly and amused. 

“Oh, shut up. Do you want to buy me dinner or not?”

He laughs at that, the sound making my lips twitch. “I would love to buy you dinner. But only because I can’t bear the thought of you eating Ramen for the third time this week.”

Narrowing my eyes and glancing around like a fugitive, I try to figure out how the hell he knows I’ve been surviving on reheated, soggy noodles for the past week.

I don’t have the chance to ask before he declares, “I’ll pick you up at six. Oh, and check your doorstep.”

The line clicks dead ominously, and I glance suspiciously at my front door. 

Tiptoeing over, I peek outside, eyes going wide when I see a package leaning against the brick side of the building. 

How long has that been here? I got the mail yesterday, so it had to come today, but... how did he know I’d call today? Is he Batman or something?

I grab the package, roll my eyes at the big red bow on top, and put it on the counter. Then I pick it back up and shake it like that’ll tell me what he’s up to. 

But the curiosity starts to kill me, and I rip into the pretty packaging like a feral animal, unable to wait another second. A shiny black box is inside, and I flip the top open, eyebrows flying up when I look inside. 

The dress is blood red and looks fitted and beautiful. But that isn’t what surprises me. It the thin, lacy underwear with a note attached. A note that reads, in Rhysand’s slashy, distinct handwriting, These are optional. 

The feminist in me flares, and I decide right then and there to make him eat those words. 

~

When six o’clock comes around, I’m prepped and ready for battle. 

My hair is done, my makeup pristine, and the dress is hugging every curve and propping my boobs up to sit nicely on my chest. I don’t typically give myself compliments, but I look damn good. And more than that, I feel good. 

I also don’t typically wear bold makeup, but I’ve thrown that rule out the window. 

My lips match the dress, a dark, ruby red that makes my skin look pale in comparison. I’m complete shit at eyeliner, but I put enough mascara on to frame my eyes and make the blue pop against the red of my lips and dress. 

I look like a mix between a pinup girl and a vampire, basically. 

Knowing how punctual he is, as soon as the clock on my phone reads 7:00, I swing the door open and smile broadly. 

Rhysand pauses, fist halfway to where the door was, and uses a long moment to take me in. His eyes linger on my lips, the exposed cleavage, the sweep of my hips. His mouth drops open slightly, but before he can speak, I step out and lock the door behind me. 

“The problem with your chauvinistic little plan to tell me what to wear, Rhysand,” I tell him, slipping the lace he’d gifted me into his pants pocket and accidently feeling him up, “Is that now you know I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“It was a flawed plan, I admit.” He swallows, eyes narrowing on my hips like he can sense if I’m telling the truth. “But the important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing.”

I roll my eyes. “Quoting Einstein now to make yourself feel smart?”

He smiles at that. “Stop calling me on my shit, Feyre. Let’s go.”

I take his hand, happy with myself for winning this round, and let him pull me down the street. He stops in front of a dark, speedy looking car. “Beefcakes busy tonight?”

He gives me a strange look, then laughs loudly. “His name is Rolando.”

Still chuckling, he opens the door for me before walking around to his side. The car’s low to the ground and dark inside, and it makes a loud, rumbling sound when he turns it on. 

He grins, almost like he can’t help it, and I laugh. “Boys and their toys.”

Rhysand pulls out of the spot smoothly, driving slowly because of the traffic. He reaches over and puts a hand on my thigh, just below the hem of the dress. 

It’s warm and wonderful and casual enough to not mean anything, but I’ve made it my goal tonight to make him cry like a baby, so I swat it away. “Don’t even start.”

“Start what?”

I look over at him and smile sweetly. “Trying to seduce me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I link our fingers together and rest them on the center consol. “Where are we going?”

“New York.”

My mouth drops open. “Um, what? That’s like a twelve hour drive.”

“We’re not driving.”

I gesture around us with my free hand. “Yes, we are.”

“You are such a little smartass tonight. We are currently driving, but we aren’t driving to New York. And before you ask, the answer is yes.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “To what question?”

“If it’s my plane.”

I drop his hand and throw both of mine up in frustration. “Okay what gives? Did you stick a chip in my head or something?”

He smiles, pulling onto the interstate smoothly. Even though it’s not as crowded, he still drives slower than I’d expected when I saw the car. “Your face is very easy to read.”

“It is not,” I argue, my face instantly finding insult with that statement.

“Yes, it is. I’ll prove it to you. Tell me two truths and a lie, and I bet I can guess which one is the lie.”

“What’s the bet?”

He takes his eyes off the road to give me a very male look. I narrow my eyes, picking up on the innuendo in his gaze, and he laughs. 

“And if I win?” I ask, taking in his profile while he drives and trying not to sigh at how handsome he is. Such a nice jawline. 

“I’ll answer three of the questions you’re dying to ask.”

Oh, he knows me too well for this. His smile grows because he knows I’m a fish gladly swallowing the hook, but still asks, “Do we have a deal?”

“Deal.”

I take a few minutes to think of facts about myself. 

“I had a pet goat when I was little, my best friend’s a lesbian, and I think Mick Jagger is sexy.”

They’re the three most random things I could think of, things he’d have absolutely no way of knowing.

But the damn bastard still says immediately, “Your best friend isn’t a lesbian.”

My mouth drops open because technically, she’s bi, and I make a strangled sound of disbelief that makes him grin. “I told you. You’re a bad liar. Shame, I could tell you really wanted to ask those questions.”

“I hate you,” I tell him, beyond annoyed myself. 

He pulls off the highway and turns, leading us out to a dusky private airfield I--shockingly--never knew was behind the airport. Rhysand slows to a stop and looks over at me, then leans slowly to press his lips to mine. 

It’s warm and sweet and soft, but I feel it all the way to my toes.

He ruins the moment by murmuring, “I’ll take my reward later, by the way.”

I shove him over to his side of the car and climb out, then realize I don’t know where to go. We’re surrounded by expensive looking planes, one of which is obviously owned by the billionaire trying to get in my pants, but I don’t know which one. 

I glance back over my shoulder at him, and he smirks and points at the one to our right. 

“Are you seriously taking me to New York?”

I kind of thought he’d been joking, but he nods. “My favorite restaurant is there.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“More like hungry,” he argues, holding out a hand to gesture up the open steps leading in the plane.

I stay where I am, casting a curious glance up the stairs. It looks nice and shiny in there, but no matter how nice and shiny, it’s basically a steel death trap. 

Even though I can feel his eyes on me and desperately want to hide this fact about myself, I can’t step up. 

And because he’s an observant little asshole, he notices. “You’re afraid to fly.”

“Um, well, not afraid-”

“You’ve never flown before.” 

I nod, blushing from embarrassment. I mean, it’s obvious he flies all the time if he has his own plane, and I’m small town enough to have never even been in one. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. My first time flying was three years ago, Feyre.”

My face must look doubtful, because he nods. “I’m serious. I never saw the point until a business rivalry made me feel inadequate. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. We can go somewhere else.” 

He’s sweet to offer, but... I want to go. I’ve never been to New York, and when am I going to get an offer like this again? 

“I’m... uh... are you sure about this thing?” I reach out and grab the handle of the stairs, shaking it to see if it’ll fall off or something. 

“Yes.”

There’s no argument, no doubt in his voice. And I know it’s irrational, but-

Strong arms wrap around my waist and heft me up, and I yelp as Rhysand flings me over his shoulder and my head comes very close to his ass. “What are you doing?”

“Kidnapping you. You obviously want to go, and I’d hate to miss the reservations.”

“Rhysand, wait, hold on a second.” He ignores me entirely and walks up the stairs and inside the plane, even stopping to shake hands with the pilot. I’m dropped in a plush chair, and before I can object, a seatbelt is around my waist. 

“See?” He gestures around. “Like a living room.”

“In the sky!”

He shrugs like that’s an irrelevant detail, looking back over his shoulder and gesturing again to the pilot. I peek around him to see the door seal closed, then the gentle-looking man disappears in the control room. 

“He’s the one flying this thing?” I mean, he looked competent enough, but... 

I start freaking out.

Rhysand slips his jacket off, throwing it over the back of a seat before sliding into it, gentle grace and luxury lining his every movement. His eyes roam over me slowly, and I can tell he’s about to try and distract me before he even says, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I pant back, gripping the arms of the seat with white knuckles.

Plan A having failed, he swiftly moves onto B. “Are you really not wearing underwear?”

B, I have to admit, does a decent job of momentarily distracting me from my inevitable death. “I thought you said I’m easy to read.”

He smirks. “Tell me anyway. I won the bet, remember?”

“I remember you never specified the terms, so-”

I cut myself off as the plane starts rolling, and if I had half a mind to care, I’d worry my painted nails are about to bust through the soft leather of his chair. 

I feel like fucking throwing up or stabbing him or running far away or crying.

Rhysand, on the other hand, looks completely relaxed, sprawled casually in the seat across from me.

The plane makes a slow turn, then pauses. Apprehension sweeps over me, and I groan and look at the ceiling. 

“Allow me to rectify that horrible mistake. My prize is... a kiss.”

Despite the nausea, I raise a brow and looks at him suspiciously. “You want to kiss me? That’s it?”

“Mmhm. Right now. Close your eyes.”

“But the plane-”

He shrugs and waves a hand. “Just close your eyes, love.”

I shut up and close my eyes, slightly pursing my lips and waiting patiently. I hear a shuffle, feel the warmth of his body come close to mine. My breath draws shallow in anticipation, goosebumps appearing on my arms.

There’s another pause, and I’m about to open my eyes to see where he went, but then the plane attempts to break the sound barrier and takes off, and I’m thrown back against the seat. 

At the same time, I feel a kiss on the inside of my knee.

My eyes fly open to find Rhysand kneeling in front of me, hands bracketing my thighs. I open my mouth to say something, but he growls, “Close. Your. Eyes.”

The frank demand in his voice gives me no option, and as soon as I do, he kisses my thigh again in reward.

“Now spread your legs.”

The plane goes faster and faster. “Rhysand...”

He sighs, a long-suffering sound that makes me giggle as I once again do what he wants. I mean, really, why was I even hesitating?

It’s obvious what he’s doing, and even though it’s not safe in the slightest, I’m well on board with the idea.

His hands move to my knees, then glide up, pushing the tight hem of the dress up. He’s pressing open-mouth kisses to my thighs as he goes, and then his hands slide up another inch, and my lack of undergarments are revealed. 

“Fuck, Feyre,” he says, like my going commando was my idea, not his.

I’m about to point that out when he leans forward and put his mouth on me. At the same time the plane lifts off the ground. 

I’m torn between panic and ecstasy. The combination makes me light headed, and a rush of adrenaline hits my system, making me gasp.

I try to sit up straighter in the seat, but he’s holding my hips in a death grip and pulls them the other way. I slide down, thighs falling further open. He slips his shoulders under them, completely in control of the situation, and all I can do is grip his hair and enjoy the ride.

His mouth is insistent and confident against me and makes me finally stop thinking about dying in a fiery plane crash.

He slides a hand up my thigh, somehow able to hold me still with just one, then presses a finger inside me. I groan and pull on his hair, squirming underneath his grip, but it’s useless. 

Rhysand holds tight, his strong hands preventing me from moving, as he devours me completely. I make a helpless sound, but he doesn’t take mercy.

I think, instead of the crash, I’ll die from this instead. 

I think I’ll just burn and burn and burn from the fire he’s ignited in my blood.

His name slips past my lips, and he pauses, then becomes even more demanding. I’m being adored, worshipped, eaten like a ice cream sundae.

Another finger slips inside me as his mouth sucks softly, and I come with a cry, practically strangling him with my thighs. 

He keeps moving, kissing me softly, until my thighs go limp and I fall back into the seat with a huff. 

He leans back on his heels, hands braced on my thighs, and runs his tongue across his lower lip in a way that makes me almost come again. Realization of what he just did courses through me, and I blush, well aware that my lady bits are still on display. 

“Flying isn’t so bad after all.”

Rhysand laughs, pressing one last kiss to my knee before gently pulling my dress back into place. Then he sits back in his seat, crosses his legs, and looks me over slowly. 

“Well, that was definitely a faulty plan, because now I don’t even want to go to dinner.”

“No?”

“No.”

The heat in his gaze sends a thrill through me, because suddenly, I don’t even care about New York. I want him to land this plane and take me home and give me a repeat of what just happened. 

But now it’s abundantly clear that if I went home with him, I wouldn’t walk out with my sanity. So, once again a coward, I deflect. “Well, too bad. I’m hungry.”

He says something I can’t quite hear, the way he looks at me tells me not to ask. 

“How long is the flight?”

He checks his watch. “About another half hour.” My mind wanders to very... creative ways we could fill that time, and I blush again. “I’m curious to know what you’re thinking about over there.”

His smile says he knows, so I look him over like he often does me and say softly, “I’m thinking about returning the favor.”

His eyes flare, his mind easily following mine, but he maintains his composure. “A half hour isn’t nearly enough time if we start going down that road.”

It takes me more than a second to figure out how to breathe again. “How much time would we need?”

“Days.”

Oh, holy hell.

I’m about to tell him to keep us in the air that long, but he winks and looks away, then presses a button on a remote I hadn’t noticed he was holding. A classy looking woman in a red skirt and matching blouse comes out of the cockpit, wheeling an ice bucket and holding two glasses. 

“Good evening,” she says quietly, looking at me kindly but avoiding eye contact with Rhysand entirely as she pours us both champagne. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Then she’s gone. 

I’m about to sip from my glass, but he reaches out and switches his with mine. 

Immediately, I steal my original glass back. “I’m not getting poisoned because you pissed her off.”

“What makes you think I pissed her off?”

“She couldn’t even look at you.”

His lips twitch. “I know you’ll find this strange, but some people find me intimidating.”

I scoff, a very ladylike sound, and take a gulp of the champagne. Noticing he still hasn’t drank any of his, I take his glass and sip from it with a raised brow. “Are you going to let me die alone?”

He rolls his eyes and calls me a smartass but drinks from his glass anyway. 

“Why are you always so sure someone’s trying to kill you, anyway?”

There’s a long pause, and he seems to be debating if he’s actually going to tell me before he responds, “I have a lot of enemies, Feyre.”

He sounds so unusually serious, like he’s just told me something important. 

“I don’t,” I tell him with a sigh, suddenly irritated with my normal life. “I think I’ve grown a bit boring, actually. No one hates me, and I never even have to worry about being poisoned.”

Rhysand chuckles and gives me a strange look. “You’re not boring. And never worrying about being murdered isn’t a terrible thing.”

“I’m boring. I can’t even lie properly.”

“That,” he laughs, “I can’t argue with.”

“New game: I say something, and you guess if it’s a lie. No betting this time.”

He sighs but nods and gives me a get on with it gesture. 

Keeping my face completely neutral and making sure my fingers aren’t twitching or any other obvious give away, I say, “I have two sisters.”

“True.”

I narrow my eyes, but take a deep breath and keep my cool. “I tried to learn Italian last summer.”

“Also true, but I’m willing to bet it went poorly.”

A laugh escapes me at that. “It was horrible. I’m complete shit at the accent.” I try to think of other facts about myself and come up short. Gods, I really am boring, aren’t I? 

“I’ve never been in love.”

His eyes scan my face. “That’s a lie.”

“It is,” I confirm, looking at his chin and wondering why I even said that in the first place. 

He ducks to catch my gaze. “Your ex?”

We’re getting into dangerous territory--even I know you don’t discuss your ex-boyfriend this early in the game--but he doesn’t seem upset or stressed or jealous. He looks... curious. So I shrug and nod. 

“What happened?”

Taking another large gulp of champagne, I say, “He wanted to get married, I didn’t. I loved him, but... he was older and wanted something I just wasn’t ready to give him. And then he moved, and I got over it.”

Rhysand’s silent for a beat, a muscle in his jaw twitching, then nods like he understands. “Older, huh? You have a type.”

I laugh at the thought of the two of them being anything alike. “You couldn’t look more different from my ex. And you refused to actually tell me how old you are. ”

He sighs. “I’m seven years older than you.”

Quick math has never been my strong suit, but I figure it out eventually, my mouth dropping open when I do. “You’re twenty-eight?”

He nods in confirmation, and I proceed to lose my mind.

“Just twenty-eight? As in two eight, twenty-eight?”

Another nod, along with a very strange look. 

I realize I’m acting just a little bizarre, so I shake my head to clear it and say, “You’re... very impressive, Rhysand.”

When I’m twenty-eight, I’ll probably be just another starving artist, looking for a museum to hire me as a curator and begging people to buy my paintings. I’ll be broke and will have developed an allergy to Ramen from how much I’ll be eating it. 

I definitely won’t be a gazillionaire with a private art collection and enough real estate to own half the city of Chicago. 

He shrugs uncomfortably, like my bewilderment isn’t deserved, and I can’t resist the temptation to tease him. “You also suck at taking compliments.”

“Yes,” he admits. “But so do you.”

“What? No, I don’t.”

He smiles and braces his elbows on his knees and immediately proceeds to prove me wrong. “You’re far more impressive than me. You’re gorgeous and talented and have a way of looking at the world that makes me feel like I haven’t lived a day of my life properly.”

I blush furiously and look at the ceiling of our death trap, wildly uncomfortable all of a sudden. “You’ve proved your point.”

Rhysand laughs, then glances at his watch. “We should be on the ground soon.”

Almost like he spoke it into being, the plane dips and a mechanical whirring sound meets my ears. Is that supposed to happen? “Oh, fucking hell, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

“You did try to poison me.”

I give him a nasty look and mutter, “So fucking ridiculous, flying to another city for dinner. Next time, we’re going to Taco Bell.”

He rolls his eyes at my antics, unbuckling and moving to sit next to me. His hand slides into mine, warm and comforting, and I grab onto it like child child running from the boogeyman. His thumb runs over the back of my hand, and I sigh, leaning to put my head on his shoulder. 

“Thanks for the dress,” I finally say, remembering my manners. 

“It looks good on you. Like I said, I have excellent taste.”

I smile. “I’m waiting on dinner to confirm or deny that.”

Suddenly, there’s a large sound and a bump, then I’m leaning forward as the plane comes screeching to a halt. I press my eyes shut and squeeze the shit out of his hand, but he just keeps running his thumb along my skin, silently comforting me.

The plane comes to an eventual stop, and I peek open my eyes to see him grinning down at me. “Welcome to New York, Feyre darling.”

~

A week after our soiree to the Big Apple, I decide I have a problem. 

I like Rhysand way too much to have only known him three weeks. 

He’s all I fucking think about. 

Which, I guess, isn’t a problem. Being swept off your feet is every little girl’s dream. But it’s getting harder and harder to resist sleeping with him.

I’ve been wined and dined and given searing kisses that make my toes curl, not to mention the whole incident on the airplane, but we haven’t actually had sex. Honestly, I thought I’d cave on the way back from New York, but I ended up passing out in a food coma before the plane even took off, my head nestled in the happy spot between his shoulder and neck. 

I definitely want to sleep with him, so much so it makes my eyes cross just thinking about it, but it just scares me how much I like him. 

And I know sleeping with him would just make me like him more. 

I need a breather, need to get my distance and keep my head or whatever the saying is. I need to calm the fuck down, basically. 

So I, being a mature adult, decide to avoid him.

I make it five days. 

Five days of missed calls and intentionally unseen smoke signals. 

Then he apparently decides to stoop to my level and figure out how to text, because five days after the most extravagant dinner date of my life, my phone dings. 

If you ignore one more of my calls, I’m going to buy Dancers in Blue and light it on fire.

I spend exactly eighty-three seconds debating if he’s serious. I mean... surely not, right? I know he’s richer than sin, but he wouldn’t just burn fifty million dollars. 

Right?

Rational thought and self preservation be damned, I pick up the phone when it starts to ring. 

“That, Rhysand, was emotional manipulation.”

“Yes, it was.” He’s shameless. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not.” I don’t know why I bother lying, since I’m apparently such shit at it, but I do. “I’ve been busy.”

Yes, very busy with watching nine movies in the past four days.

“With...?”

Inspiration dawns. “My senior project.”

“Oh, really?” A nervous sweat breaks out across my back at the knowing tone of his voice, and I begin to doubt my genius. “What’s the subject?”

“Uh, well-”

“Now that we’ve reestablished you’re a horrible liar, tell me what’s really going on.”

If he were here, I’d strangle him. 

Or maybe kiss him.

“I need a few days,” I mutter, upset with myself for being an open book. 

“Why?”

His simple question makes me think he doesn’t want space. Is he as into me as I am to him? Is that even possible? 

“Because I like you,” I say honestly, having learned my lesson about lying. 

Rhysand’s quiet for a long moment, then he chuckles. “I see the issue.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Answer the door.”

What? “There’s no one at the door.” 

At least there shouldn’t be, because I didn’t invite anyone over. 

“Incorrect.”

Eyes already narrowed, I stomp over and fling the door open, practically ripping it off its hinges in my frustration. He’s leaning against the brick stoop, looking sexier than socks on a rooster in a midnight blue shirt and black slacks, smiling at me. 

“You are not allowed to avoid me just because you like me,” he states, brushing past me without invitation.

“What do you think you’re doing here?”

He kisses my brow. “I like you, too.”

“Okay, but-”

“And I have cake.” He holds up a clear box, allowing me a glimpse of the fluffy chocolate deliciousness inside. 

It’s almost annoying how well he knows me, because chocolate cake is my vice.

I try to think of another protest that won’t que him in to why I’m actually scared, but he cuts me off because of course, he already knows. “I won’t touch you, I promise. Even if you ask.”

My lips twitch. “Even if I ask?”

“Even if you beg,” he states with confidence, strolling into the kitchen like he owns the place. He looks around, face not giving a single detail away as he takes in everything. 

Thankfully, I’m not a slob, so the place isn’t dirty, but it’s definitely not a penthouse apartment. 

It’s a tiny old townhouse, barely big enough to even be called that. The water is lukewarm, never hot, and I had to just take the smoke detector out of the ceiling so it would stop beeping. 

It’s part of my scholarship, and compared to where most college students live, it’s a dream, so I don’t complain. 

His eyes roam over half-done canvases and art supplies, pictures of my sisters, random shit I don’t have the heart to throw away. 

I sigh and bump him aside with a hip so I can grab two forks, then motion for him to follow me. We head into the living room, and I flop onto the couch dramatically, then motion for him to hand me the cake. 

Sitting next to me with far more class, he flips open the lid and hands me a fork. “Chocolate mousse.” 

“I’m going to be three hundred pounds if you keep feeding me,” I warn as I take a bite, not at all concerned with that possibility. 

“I think you’ll be fine.”

I grab the remote and flip through movies, eventually sighing in defeat and putting on Scarface. 

“Seriously?” he asks around a mouthful of cake, fighting a smile. 

“It’s my favorite movie, and nothing good’s on anyway.”

He looks at me like I’m the most amusing thing he’s ever come across, but settles down and flings an arm around me. Fighting the urge to tell him this breaks his whole ‘no touching’ rule, I snuggle into his side. 

Maybe it’s the cake, or the fact that I’m horrible at staying awake through a movie past eight o’clock, but I drift off to sleep, my face pressed into his chest. 

~Rhysand~

I finish the movie--fucking Scarface--even though she fell asleep a while ago. 

She’s soft and warm against me, body relaxed into mine without an ounce of hesitation. 

She tried to hide it, but I know why she didn’t want to see me. 

She’s falling for me. 

Which, technically, is the plan. 

Technically, everything is going great. 

Except she’s fucking worming her way into my heart too. Which is so goddamn annoying, it makes me want to strangle her. Or maybe kiss her. 

Being with her is... a wonderful kind of torture. 

She’s beautiful and charming and doesn’t look at me with an ounce of fear in her bright blue eyes, but it’s also like holding up a mirror that shows me the worst parts of myself. 

I hear her laugh and am reminded of the last time I laughed and loved freely. I see her beautiful soul and compare it to the bleakness of my own.

I look at her blind innocence and force myself to not care that I’ll be the one who robs her of it.

Maybe that’s why I finish the movie. I give myself two hours to sit here and enjoy her company, two hours where she doesn’t hate me or curse the day I was born. 

But then the credits role, and I have to pull my head our of my ass and get on with it, no matter how much I don’t want to.

Moving slowly so she doesn’t stir, I lift her into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck, fingers playing in the hair at my nape, and sighs happily. 

I wish she wouldn’t do shit like that. 

I wish she was heartless and cruel and cold. 

I make my way up the creaky stairs to her room, then put her on the unmade bed, the covers horribly messy around her. The moonlight coming through the open window illuminates her skin and allows me to see how vulnerable she looks.

She’s in tiny little shorts that shouldn’t be legal, and a thin white shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide what’s underneath. Her hair’s a mess around her, her lips are parted, and there’s a calm, peaceful look on her face.

It’s perfect. 

It’s horrible.

Taking a deep breath and running a hand through my hair, I tell myself not to care. 

But as I take out my phone and snap a picture, my hands still shake. 

And as I type the message I’ve been mentally drafting for years, I feel like I’m going to be sick.

But as much as I hate myself for it, a feeling of victory shoots through me as I hit send. Revenge, it seems, really is sweet. 

And I’m just getting started. 

___________________________________________

Part 4

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[koushisatori]

All you have to do is ask

It’s me again! This isn’t beta-read yet, but I’ll do so tomorrow after lunch!! But i need to get this out of my drafts asap and...well, here you go!!  Edit: 16.11.,13:10: I beta’ed it now and weeded out dumb mistakes (and made new ones, probably ) !  ♡ ～('▽^人)  

oikawa x f!reader

genre: small bit of angst, fluff

warnings: someone kinda trying to force themselves onto you??

word count: 3.4k

note: this was supposed to be a drabble, now look at what it turned out to be </3</blockquote>

____________________________________________________

Tooru was sure that he had saved at least thousands of people in his last life to deserve you liking him back

you didn’t play ‘’unreachable’’ but he had to out in some work for you

especially with his fan club being all over him all the damn time, 

but you never gave him any reason to doubt your intentions with him which is why he took wooing you very seriously

both of you actually spend a lot of time by just talking and getting to know each other due to that

for example: he liked taking you on cute little and spontaneous dates on volleyball-free afternoons and would then walk you home after

or on lunch breaks that you (at first) spend with him alone 

(sometimes he waits at your classroom door to pick you up if it’s manageable for him - aka if he’s not swarmed by people with confession letters)

later you both are consequently joined by Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki 

the last two loved teasing him with their ‘fun facts for lunch’

’’(Y/N)?’’ you hear Makki sing even before you can see any of the other three. next to you, Tooru groans in advance 

’’Did you know that ‘Kawa can reach a g’’ as soon as he’s eye to eye with an insect larger than your pinky finger?’’ the strawberry haired boy says, mattsun next to him wagging his eyebrows 

the professional that you are easily suppresses a grin, you merely chuckle amused 

’’Who isn’t afraid of bugs larger than that? There are way smaller things that could kill you!’’ you exclaim with wide eyes ‘’...and I’ll gladly channel all my bravery and…’’ you look around before leaning forward, the two boys following your example, intrigued by the secretive expression on your face ‘’…annihilate everything and everyone that might scare Tooru or make fun of hi’’ – ‘’WOAH, (Y/N)-‘’

they had tried to flirt with you just to fuck with Oikawa (so with no real intention) but they had to realize rather quickly that this was a hopeless task – you couldn’t tell that people were flirting with you unless they spelled it out

(literally that one meme;   you: ’’were you flirting with me, Tooru?’’ Tooru: did for the past half-year, thanks for noticing tho <3’’)

Don’t worry you know the setter well enough by now to be able to tell when he does, and really - only Tooru’s flirting matters to you

it also makes you blush furiously, now that you truly get it, but we’re not talking about that

Iwaizumi took you to the side one day while you were waiting for Oikawa to finish his training

he asked you sternly if you were sure that you would be able to handle days, weekends, and sometimes weeks in which Tooru would unintentionally prioritize Volleyball over you

said, that you had to find a balance on the fine line that was leaving him be with his training and stopping him from overexertion (and really ruining his knee)

after assuring that yeah, you would because you genuinely liked him, volleyball obsession and all, and that wanted to be with him, Iwa let go of any rest reservations he had had against you and joined the general teasing

Okay, moving on

as soon as his and your interest in each other became clear, you kept a clear distance from other males (and females, ‘yer that desired, as you should btw)

if they pushed it, you unmistakable stated that you’re not interested in other advances because you liked someone

Like??? Oikawa really just had to say the magic words at this point, you'd say yes in an instant

for god's sake tf is he waiting for?!!

despite you being obvious with your interest in the setter and disinterest in everyone else regarding this you constantly get approached by admirers

some people need it spelled out that you mean what you say, honestly

A thing Tooru liked so much about you was your kindness, but it also was the reason that - as already said - some people still thought they might have a chance

it’s not your fault, your natural charm is like...the 8th wonder of the world!!

due to your impeccable behavior and perfect grades, you obviously were the teachers’ favorite student to pick to help out other students

cue to: oh, look!! you're chosen again *sigh*

up until now, the tutoring never bugged Tooru too much, it was more like an itch he couldn’t scratch

but usually, they weren’t after school (giving up your lunch break, you’re a hero) and never awoke any rumors

your latest ’student’ seemed to think that he was close to ’’winning you over’’, though, that you were secretly but undeniably head over heels for him by now

’’I’ve heard that he plans on asking (Y/N) out today!’’ - ‘’No way! Even with Oikawa-Senpai obviously being interested in her?’’ - ‘’Yes!’’ - ‘’Death wish~’’

Tooru had to hear it in between classes and while he trusted you (and the last comment made him chuckle a bit), this was not the case for that guy

You: go home after class, Tooru, I need to give another tutoring session :(

of course, he wanted to hear none of that, especially with the hushed words fresh in his mind

meanwhile, you vividly imagined his annoyed expression reading it and the cute little huffing sound; you couldn’t help but smile softly to yourself </3

Tooru Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→: I’ll wait for you, (Y/N)-chan, Iwa-chan and me wanted to try out something anyway (^.~)☆

Tooru Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→: also, I waited to try out the sweets at the patisserie for too long to not eat my weight in cake twice today, so you better hurry if you want me to share with you

His answer clearly stating: I will wait for you, don’t take too long

Okay, maybe he was a bit jealous 

that this guy gets a reward – another hour with you alone - for being stupid ?? it obviously fed into a crazy fantasy and it was unfair

Oikawa reminded himself that he had no reason to be jealous, especially since he had yet to ask you out and make it official

(it had to be perfect and cute just like you, okay? no rom-com was able to prepare him for the real thing!!)

training – for the first time in years – dragged on endlessly

his mind kept wandering, and after the first 5 volleyballs to the head, courtesy of a very annoyed Iwaizumi, said one took matters into his own hands dragging his sulking best friend out of the gym

‘’If you’re jealous, Shittykawa, then fucking confess already.’’ Iwaizumi says with his no-bullshit voice, letting go of Tooru's jacket. 

While it was obvious that Oikawa is, in fact, super fucking jealous, he chuckles and puts on an easy smile. ‘’Silly Iwa-chan! I’m not- OUCH!’’ The brunet yelps, holding the back of his head and looking at his childhood friend with a pout. 

‘’First of all, fuck you, Shittykawa, for thinking I’m falling for your dumb act.’’ The ace growls, narrowing his eyes. ’’(Y/N) is a beautiful girl. Of course, Extras try to get close to and confess to her, you morron.’’ The spiky-haired let’s out a tsk-sound, seeing Tooru’s wide eyes. ‘’I at least hope you are aware that she is waiting for you to ask her out officially, right? It’s literally on you to put your foot over the line between a girl friend and your girlfriend. But if you take too long, she’ll eventually be fed up with waiting…so why in hell are you stalling?’’ Iwaizumi huffs, crossing his buff arms over his chest.

With a shrug, Oikawa looks up to the sky before his gaze travels down to settle on his feet, shuffling from side to side. ‘’I’m scared that making it official will do more harm than good, Hajime. She never said something else but…is she really fine with me forgetting basic things over Volleyball? Or will she leave me after a while like my last girlfriend? Because she realized Damn, he’s really into volleyball. I also don’t want to hurt (Y/N) by asking her to be mine and then…being me and screw everything up again.’’ Tooru whispers quietly, trying to hide the vulnerability while intentionally avoiding his best friends eyes. 

‘’You’re dumb, Tooru.’’ 

Well…that’s not what he was expecting Iwaizumi to do or say. A punch against his upper arm or chest maybe, or a kick to the shin – always with love but still painful enough to get the message across. But not a soft-voiced statement paired with a sigh. 

‘’I hate...’’ Iwaizumi says, waving his hand up and down. ‘’...why do I have to do...the emotionally charged pep talk.’’ He grumbles, pulling his hand over his face before he looks up directly into Oikawa’s insecure but also curious eyes.

��’You might not be aware of it, but things already are different compared to last time. (Y/N) does not just accept your passion, but supports you fully. With the amount of time she spends on the bench doing her homework and cheering for everyone when we do training's matches, while remembering our schedules and matches, she’s practically an inofficial second manager. By any means, she’s a perfect match to your madness, it’s scary.’’ he jokes, thinking of all the small things you do for his best friend that - in the end - make him trust you even more.

‘’But…what might be more important to you right now is that you’re not behaving like last time as well. You still are so freaking stupid and overexert yourself…but you check up on her whenever you take a water break. If it's asking in person or sending her a message. You make sure to have at least two free afternoons where you spend time with each other, which is two days more than you did last time by the way. You have that stupidly dopey smile on your face when you see Y/N. I mean…nothing ever breaks your focus after you set foot on the field and yet here we are, standing outside because all you do is mope around instead of playing!’’ The spiky-haired player huffs.

After a moment of silence, Tooru cries out an ‘’Iwa-chan, you do love me!’’ while draping himself over his best friend. ‘’Oi, Trashykawa!’’ the other protests with a fake angry voice, yet hugging the other back for a second before he pushes him off nonetheless. 

‘’Okay, now move your ass, the pinning you two are doing is a pain to witness.’’ Iwa says accusatory before going back into the gym, leaving Oikawa to make a decision. 

Hurrying through the gym to the changing rooms, Tooru nearly makes it out unseen until Yahaba is half asking, half yelling from the other side of the hall. ‘’Oikawa-san, where are you going?’’ 

With a wide grin and his signature peace sign (it’s for his own emotional support here, okay, his nerves are killing him), the Captain turns around to announce ‘’I’m finally getting myself a girlfriend!’’ before he quickly leaves his hollering teammates. 

(Oikawa was quite sure to hear Mattsun yell something like ‘All of you! Pay up!’ and Kyoutani muttering an ‘I’m leaving.’ somewhere in his vicinity.)

5 Minutes later, the brunet looks through all the classrooms in the hallway you should be in, teaching a good for nothing that was adamant about trying to steal you away from him. Tsk. 

Right after turning around the corner, Tooru hears a dull thud, followed up by a soft gasp that made his insides churn uncomfortably. That it’s immediately followed by a low, deep voice doesn’t help at all with calming Oikawas heart beat. He slowly creeps closer to the slightly ajar door to the room with the treacherous sounds. The soft whimper following was unmistakably you, and his heart suddenly felt like it was on the verge of breaking for a second.

Should he turn around and leave? Perhaps Iwaizumi was right with you being tired of waiting for him. Maybe you were tired and accepted someone else? 

Luckily, a gruff inner voice growls – surprisingly sounding like his best friend – and mentally slaps him. You never gave him a reason to doubt your affection! And if he had to fight for your affection then so it be! Also, you wouldn’t engage in something inappropriate out in public. There was a 99,9% chance of him misinterpreting everything due to his own insecurities, and you being uncomfrotable right now. Unacceptable. 

With his resolve strengthened again, the setter finally takes the last steps over to the door. Standing there, he finally could understand the words being spoken. Oikawa suddenly had a presentiment of what was happening inside.

Meanwhile, you were struggling unceasingly. ’’It…it is flattering that you…that you like me, honestly!! And…there are surely many other girls that would feel honored to be confessed to by you, but I like someone else, I’m sorry. Please, accept my choice!’’ you say, damming your voice for shaking and underminding your own statement.

’’Ah, ah, pretty girl, it’s not nice to lie.’’ the guy in front of you chuckles. The usage of such a pet name makes you cringe in disgust. There’s only one person allowed to give you tese kind of names. ‘’I know you like me, too. You with your cute little blush when you talk to me and lingering soft touches-‘’ 

A scandalized sound of protest leaves your lips. You were just short of stomping your foot. ’’I did no such thing! I-’’ But as before, your words meet a seemingly deaf ear. 

’’I will be the best boyfriend a pretty girl like you could ever wish for.’’ Moving closer, the guy slowly backs you up until you meet the chalkboard behind you. ’’Come on, give in.’’ He murmurs, hitting his hand against the board next to your head, which forces a scared whimper out of you. ‘’I’m all you need.’’

Stepping into the room, Tooru couldn’t believe his eyes and ears,. The blood in his veins slowly but surely starts to boil. 

’’Please, let me leave! I told you, I am not interested. I am with-’’ You plea softly, one hand pressed against the guys’ chest to stop him from coming any closer, – did he really try to kabedon you against the chalkboard? - while your other was hidden from his view. Even though you were trying your best, the distance between the two of you was insultingly sparse, the guy making up for the lack bodily closeness in general by leaning forward enough for your faces to be separated by only a few inches. You could probably feel his breath on your face. Tooru really felt like punching the guy.

’’What’s so special about the pretty boy anyway? He has many girls running after him to choose from, let me have you. I’ll treat you better! I have so much free time and I would spend all of it on you. Let me take you out for a coffee, pretty girl, or dinner. Hm? I’ll prove my words directly. I mean…he hasn’t even asked you out! It’s unfair how he is keeping you on the back burner, stringing you along. To you…’’ suddenly the boy moves closer, lowering his voice to a sultry murmur ‘’…and to m-‘’ 

’’That’s enough.’’ Oikawa says, his tone icy, sending shivers down the other male's spine. You on the other hand… 

’’Tooru…’’ you whisper, relief evident, as you watch him move closer to you as fast as humanly possible. Yet you still aren’t able to reach out. ’’Please, Tooru…’’ 

Upon hearing your soft whimper, his brown eyes follow yours to your other hand, realizing that said one is still in the firm grip of the guys' right. At that a clearly dangerous growl leaves the usually sweet brunet. ‘’If you don’t let go of her in the next two seconds and leave her be for good in 5, I can and will break your arm.’’ Oikawa threatens with an overly sweet, yet terrifying smile, wrapping his own hands around the guy's wrist, blunt nails pressing painfully into the sensitive flesh on the inside.

With a hiss, the guy finally pulls back his hand. It allows you to seek shelter behind the tall setters back. Your fingers tightly hold onto his shirt while you peek at the other from behind him. ’’Aww, come on, pretty boy,…’’ he says, voice provoking, the words clearly meant to degrade Oikawa. ’’…let me have some fun with sweets over there, and when I’m done you can have her all to yourself.’’ To top of his words, he winks at you. 

With the way he had tensed up the first moment, you half expect Tooru to suit the action to the word, and really break his arm...instead, Oikawa looks the other dead in the eye, while saying ’’Hey, (Y/N)-chan,? There’s that really sickening wretched smell in here, it’s kind of painful. I’d like to take you somewhere nice, will you get your things?’’

You hastily nod and do as you are told while Tooru continues to stare the other down, keeping his attention away from you and using the slighty height difference to his advantage. The moment you reach him, Oikawa finally lets go of the others wrist, grabbing yours instead. You tug him to the door as quick as possible, when suddenly life found its way back into the other. 

‘’Hey, what did you mean?’’ he asks, half angry, half clueless. Unable to accept his loss. 

Oikawa turns back one last time, a smirk settling on his lips while his eyes twinkle with amusement. ‘’I said, that a mouth breather as pitiful as you are is a disgrace to be in the vicinity of someone as amazing as her.’’ And with that, you both finally leave.

(Y/N)-chan…are you alright?’’ Tooru asks once you left the school grounds. His thumb drawing little circles on the back of your hand. 

You nod before you eventually look up, worrying your lip. ’’Thank you. I…I was really scared. Even though I'm sure that he would have done something…something…’’ you swallow down the nasty words, shuddering slightly. ’’I’m glad you came to save me, Tooru.’’ You finally settle on, pink coloring your cheeks. Beckoning him to lean down a bit by waggling your finger, you softly craddle his face and press a kiss to his cheek. The blush becoming more intense now with every passing moment.

Before you can pull back your hands, though, his had already found purchase on yours, keeping them - and you - in place. Everything about this moment felt right to him. Maybe now was the right time. ’’Pretty girl...’’ he murmurs, assessing your reaction. (He notes, pleased, that your blush intensifies, and your smile turns all giddy. He needs you to forget about that douchebag calling you that. He would repeat it until all you remembered was his voice using it.) ‘’I kind of really, really, really want to kiss you right now…’’ He whispers, the warmth of his cheeks telling him that he was most likely sporting a blush similar to yours. ’’…Will you be mine? Will you allow me to hold your hand? To kiss you silly? To steal bites of your food and make up for it with compliments and as many cuddles as you wish? Will you allow me to brag about you being my girlfriend and force you to wear my jersey to all my matches now and in the future?’’ His eyes didn’t leave yours for a second. He enjoyed watching yours light up as if he had just hung the stars in the night sky, or as if he had made you the best present a girl could wish for. 

’’Tooru…I thought you’d never ask…’’ you say with a smile so affectionate that it makes him feel mushy and warm all over. And then he finally closes the gap. 

The moment your lips meet for their first kiss is better than anything he had ever imagined. It isn’t a firework exploding, nor an unbalanced fight of passion and dominance. Instead, it’s gentle. A loving flow and exchange, wrapping you both in a blanket of warmth. A bubble just for the two of you. He understood what Iwaizumi meant with different, because – even though this relationship just started – he knows, that with you he had found a completely new world of comfort and love. Being with you already felt like coming home.

[just-a-creep-babe]

Matchup!

Commissioned by @nemkultra, tysm ^^ 💗✨

~Requests are closed~

Masterlist: x

I match you with: Eyeless Jack

This mans has some hardcore heart eyes for you ngl 💗~💗

You’re just,, so chill and easy to get along with??

Maybe it’s your style—that dark emo kind of fashion that he also tends to stick to himself—but something about you just makes him feel super at ease from the very beginning

In a room full of people, even before he got to know you, he kinda just naturally gravitates towards you tbh

You just have this magnetic pull on him that feels right

Your scent too btw?

It’s kinda weird to say but you smell fckn delicious to him 👀👌

And the fact that you’re pretty short—especially compared to him—combined with your scent & that magnetism really sends his demon instincts in overdrive

Meaning, he ends up getting very protective of you very quickly

He realizes earlier on that you can most certainly take care of yourself, but like,, that’s not gonna stop him from wanting to defend you any way he can

Any threats in the near vicinity, especially the physical/confrontational ones, are nearly nonexistent when he’s around

Which might be more often than you realize

Like I’m not saying he stalks you, he just sometimes keeps a close eye on you,,, from a distance,,,,, usually lurking in the shadows skdkhdksldl

Honestly, lord help anyone who comes near you with aggressive intentions smh

Not only that, but he also can and will remove anyone who’s bugging you or draining you social battery & making you anxious

All ya gotta do is ask or gives him some kind of signal

And even then, if he gets suspicious they’re being rude or unpleasant or anything, he’ll straight up just come to you like “is he bothering you, queen?”

But other than that, he’s a pretty laid-back person ngl

He’s a great listener & will gladly hear you ramble on about anything and nothing

Whatever it might be, whether you just wanna talk about your day or some new songs you’ve discovered, he’ll put you on his lap, stroke through your hair or trace your tattoos while purring contently, listening to you

Boy just wants to be near you and hear your soothing voice as you explain to him your general thoughts & opinions—it makes him so damn happy tbh ^^

He’s a very good bf and will always support you however he can uwu

Even if you don’t really feel like talking, he’s fine with just wrapping his arms around you & quietly enjoying your presence

He might not know much about ADHD, but he will do his research to get a better understand of it & learn how to help any way he can

He does, however, have a bit of PTSD himself, so he already knows a bit on how to help deal with that

So he’s very considerate of any triggers you might have and does his best to keep you safe & happy & comfortable :>

Also like,,,, this man’s presence is so damn comforting

Any time you feel a panic/anxiety attack come on, having him around does wonders

It’s very reassuring to have a tall, strong & protective demon bf in life tbh

Like he knows he’s pretty intimidating, so he‘a got a very calm & relaxed demeanor to make up for it

Knowing this strong ass predatory monster would do anything in his power to protect you from legit anything does wonders to your peace of mind

And having him hold you in his arms, purring and rumbling soothing praises is always very comforting—like the two of you are in your own little world & nothing can reach you

He’s kinda effortlessly powerful, but it goes without saying that he’s an absolute gentleman & would never use that strength against you—with exception in the bedroom, but we’ll get to that later ;)

He doesn’t wanna abuse his capabilities, but he still does end up naturally taking charge tho—both in the streets and in the sheets

Those are just demon instincts for ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Boy admires how you don’t take any crap & won’t hesitate to stand up for yourself tho

He likes knowing you’d tell him off if he ever crossed any boundaries; that way he doesn’t have to overthink or worry too much

Also, that nurturing side you’ve got with those strong maternal instincts??

His demonic side is crazy for it

He honestly admires you so damn much, you have no idea ✨🤧

Like he, himself, isn’t the best with kids; he’s kinda scared to hurt them and he’s not really sure how to react around them

But he still appreciates them & their different perspective on life

So he genuinely likes asking how your day went at work, and after a while, he’ll start learning about the kids & asking about them too ^^

If he can help them with any kind of,, situations out of their control, he most certainly will, almost like a guardian demon angel :”)

Like with kids, even if he does appreciate them, he’s also not the best with animals

They can usually sniff out his demon side & it scares them

Cats are sometimes ok with him, but even then, it depends on the cat

So honestly, ya just gotta give him a lil time to adjust to them and vice versa :”>

He’s also a lil freaked out by spiders, snakes, rodents and the like, but he’ll never admit it, so it’s just fun to tease him skdjdksll

He’s a very clean boy himself, so unless he doesn’t eat/sleep for a while & loses control to his demon, you don’t have to worry about him making any kind of mess

Ultimately, this mans is super chill & laid back and will absolutely not hesitate to cuddle up with you any day/any time, whether or not you’re feeling stressed or anxious tbh

You've had a long day & just wanna unwind watching anime or playing video games?

No prob boo; even if he might not understand them, he’ll gladly watch any show with you while offering up some fine back rubs to help you relax 😌👌

He doesn’t really understand poetry either, but he’ll listen to you read it aloud, purring faintly, rubbing his thumbs over your skin and sometimes planting lil kissies here n there 😚😚

He also might try to pick up an instrument, having the faint recollection of knowing how to play from his old life, just to impress you ngl

He just wants to make you happy & care for you because he loves you and thinks you deserve the world uwu

NSFW

Omg you’re honestly like,, the perfect height for him to just pick up & manhandle however he pleases tbh skdjdhslsl 😳😳

When you’re wearing dresses too?

All the easier to use you like a perfect little doll~

But he won’t do it unless he knows it’s alright with you, ofc

Like I said, he’s a gentleman first & foremost 😌👌

Homeboy’s also got a thing for those fishnet tights 👀

So you can bet he might just tear a hole through them & stick his dick in them to fuck your thighs through the lace

He just can’t resist the feeling of your plush thighs squishing his length, squeezing him with the frail material stretching & wrapping so perfectly around him

Don’t worry though, he definitely buys you new clothes all 👏the 👏time 👏to make up for it ;))

Sometimes when he’s feeling like a tease, he’ll settle you down nice and comfy while you’re still wearing those tights & get between your legs to tease his tongue through the material

Loves hearing your little gasps and moans as you try to rub into him for more friction, desperate to feel the entirety of his tongue without that stupid obstruction

Once he thinks you’ve had enough, he won’t be able to hold back any longer before dislocating his jaw and absolutely devouring you until you’re practically shaking against him

But other than the occasional teasing that has you mewling and squirming, this mans will absolutely treat every inch of your body just right 🥴👌

Those belly button & nipple piercings will definitely receive the attention they deserve 👅💦💦

If you’ve had a stressful day at work or if your anxiety’s starting to get the best of you, it’s no prob bb

You can lay back, relax & let him do all the work—having his fun tasting you & shoving his tongue in and out of your dripping core~

He’ll be on cloud 9 knowing he can help while also getting to stuff his face between your legs

Also likes dislocating his jaw to cram the full length of his tongue down you throat to toy with the little metal ball on your tongue too :pp

His demon is totally enamored with everything about you, so you can bet he’ll always leave plenty of possessive bite marks all over you

He’s super scared to hurt you tho, so it’s safe words galore tbh

He pays a lot of attention to your boundaries & needs; you’re so frail & vulnerable compared to him, how could he ever forgive himself if he hurt you?

His heats are especially bad when it comes to being rough—he has to resist absolutely ruining you every time

It honestly takes a long ass time for him to let you stay to help through it because he’s so scared of losing control

If he ends up going too hard & you need to use a safeword, he’ll treat you like porcelain during the aftercare

And even throughout the next couple of days that follow, he’ll be extra careful around you because he’ll feel like shit for taking things too far ngl

I’m talking about waiting hand & foot on you—not that he wouldn’t already do so regardless

And he might be a tad reluctant to do the nasty afterwards, but a lil convincing & reassurance on your part and he won’t be able to resist

Except he’ll take things real slow and careful

Like,, excruciatingly slow skdjdhsl

But honestly, it doesn’t make the orgasms any less intense

Instead of hitting you hard & fast like electricity rocketing through you, it’ll be like one long wave crashing into you as he keeps rocking his hips at a perfectly steady pace

He just wants to make you feel good & show you how much he loves and cares for you, ya know?

Those back rubs I mentioned have some high ass chances of turning into something more

They might end up with you beneath him, one of his large hands pining your hips down, the other entwining his fingers into yours so he can feel every little squeeze when he drags his cock along you most sensitive spots

And if you read him some steamy poetry, he just might end up between your legs one way or another, chuckling and coaxing you to keep going as he hits every spot so wonderfully

This mans is practically a sex god even if he might not realize it ngl 👁👅👁

Only thing is, like I’ve mentioned, him and animals don’t always get along

So he can’t stand being watched by your pets while he’s trying to get some :/

You, ah, might wanna close the door behind you or he’ll have to stop halfway through 😬

But he’ll be more than happy to keep going once he knows the two of you are completely alone again~ 😏👌

[faustonastring]

Hiii. Congrats on having 500 followers. This is not really a request but I think it would be fun if I you can describe your MC and I can fanart them/him/her, base on what you wrote (or you can send a photo of your MC for more accurate fanart haha..). Anyway, just want to give you my support and thank you for all the writtings, lighten my mood everyday ~

Ahhhhhhh please don’t feel obligated to draw anything for me, if you want to by all means go ahead, I’m not going to stop you, but you don’t have to go out of your way or anything 🥺

Describing my Apprentice

But being that you asked....ahhhhshshwhah quite honestly at first I wasn’t really sure, when I first started playing the game it never really crossed my mind, I just used my name (and I still do) and as dorky as I think it is, the arcana really helped me get through some shit and it still does, but when I started getting traction on this blog, I knew one day some one was going to ask, so I started to pull things that I liked about my self, traits that I like or find cute about other people, and a very half assed and dramatic backstory, which I’m still working out, but if any one wants to hear what I got for it, ill most definitely explain. Also, I always kind of thought of little oc’s here and there that gave representation to certain communities, like the trans community, the black community, and apprentice with vitiligo (which is so pretty, btw, if you have vitiligo you are so. Beautiful. And I mean that I’m the nicest, non sexualized way possible,) and if people would like, when I get more free time I will most definitely give them some more thought, but back to ✨me✨ I can’t draw, like to save my life, and I, not the best at explaining things, so here are some pictures I made on picrew of what I imagine her looking like, and below them I’ll go into more detail

👏Dumb 👏 bitch 👏 blonde 👏 but plot twist, she’s actually really smart. She just makes a lot of stupid decisions, and has a lot of ✨mental illnesses ✨

First let’s start out with her blonde ass hair, which ties into the truamatic totally off canon backstory I’m giving her, (and honestly if you think hard about it, you could probably guess why she has blonde hair) growing up I always wanted my hair to be blonder, and super curly, so, she has very blond hair, which is right in between super curly and super wavy, as for the color, the second picture sums up the color pretty well.

She also has very blue ass eyes, like In the third picture, and some long ass eyelashes, which look like false ones.

She also has a gap inbtweem her two front teeth, nothing too big, not too small, just right. (But if were being honest it’s a little on the smaller side.

She is also 5’5 and is super skinny, my reasoning for this is that when asra brought her back, she was deathly skinny, and she never really gained back her weight, because of this she has a small chest, and ass, but has an hour glass figure, and dimples (Tw) she also has self harm marks on her thighs and wrist.

👏She 👏is 👏muriels 👏cottage 👏core 👏wife. 👏Except the thing is, she looks the part, she looks exactly how you would Imagine a cottage core wife to look like, except she is a feral dumbass, who acts the exact opposite way. Sure she’ll bake cookies from scratch. :) But can she use weed oil instead of butter-

I’ve mentioned before that opposites attract, but for that to work, you, and your partners moral code has to be the same, which is why she vibes so hard with Muriel, he grounds her, and she keeps him on his toes, but what’s super cute about their dynamic is that even though they may seem like polar opposites they both have a lot in common, like they both like nature, and flowers, and they’re both from the south-

Her faveroite color is pink, which works out great because it works so well with green, and she can always be seen with a headband in her face, or her hair pulled up on in braids, because it is thick and loooong, (like waist length)

She alsooooo loves dresses, that are like ankle length, or skirts that are ankle length, their comfy, cute, and if your In a rush, you don’t need to take it off to fuck, just hitch it up a little bit, it will be finneeeee

Also I haven’t decided her name yet, I feel weird giving her my real name, but at the same time she was based off of me, so it’s either Emma, or Elisabeth

I think that’s about all of her physical qualities, if any one is interested in learning more about her, or anything spefic about her, send in an ask, and I’ll gladly answer it any time! (Please don’t be shy, it makes me happy knowing that people are interested in this dumb bitch 🥺)

[queerlytical]

Unpacking my aversion to cis-het men - 08/12/2020

This is going to be a long one.  One I’m quite nervous about posting about even when I’m here anonymously!

Will probably refer to cis-het men as men/guys generally in this post btw. & the ex I refer to here is a guy I was with for 5 years which was an emotionally abusive relationship. 

I’ve recently started to challenge my feelings towards cis-het men.  Accepting that I have the judgement that all men are basically weak minded by not challenging society as it is (and therefore accepting of all the oppression), and are desperately affected by toxic masculinity.  

A small part of my brain knows that’s not true.  I have a couple of cis-het male friends who I love and are clearly not like that.  But when I think “what would be the problem if I ended up with a man in the future?” the other part of my brain immediately shuts the idea down like “why would you do such a thing?! you only like women, end of story”.  Thinking that the guys  who are open minded and unpacking their own priveleges/opinions etc. are so few and far between there is probably none left out there for me to meet.  

So I decided to challenge this notion.  And perhaps there is some underlying internal homophobia conflicting with these thoughts at the same time like “if I just gave men a chance.” or “it would be so much easier to just find a guy who is interested in me” (there is a lot underlying that quote tho - not that many wlw in my area, my personal feelings towards myself as to how cis-het men perceive me).

Along with challenging this notion, I have basically been craving to be dominated and penetrated in the bedroom, with no particular strings attached.  The people I’ve slept with this year weren’t great experiences and I just wanted someone to push me around and top me.  I know there are women who would gladly do that but the women I tend to date haven’t been like that and I’ve always been more of the top than the bottom.  I have never entertained a guy for sex where I have decided for myself that this is what’s going to happen, I’ve always been pursuaded into it (I didn’t learn about consent until the last couple of years, clearly). I wanted to feel that control.  I wanted to be the one to say, I’ve decided this this time.  And to see, how I would actually feel given that this was something I wanted and not sort of forced onto me.

I changed my Bumble search to include “everyone”.  Note that I had also ran out of women in my search radius by this stage so it was just men coming up now.  It was interesting.  I noticed that there are a lot of guy profiles that are basically the same - “where can you be found after work? the gym” or “what do you quote too much from? the office, US”.  Literally after swiping for about 10 minutes I could have written the exact same profile as like 40% of these profiles I was now faced with.  

I obviously ended up swiping left for the majority of guy profiles.  I paid more attention to the men who had kind eyes, nice smiles, beards (I love a beard strangely enough), and anything interesting in their profile.  I struggled to swipe right on white men in particular. I think this makes sense due to:

 my ex being white and racist (and I have a tendency to want to get as far as possible from this particular ex), 

a close friend who was my only white cis-het friend who then turned out to be a racist tory

my dad who is white, racist and homophobic (not terribly but enough to make me uncomfortable to discuss anything with him).  

Plus the general consensus that white cis-het men are the most priveleged in society and they can never understand someone like me, right?  Let alone have done any of the unpacking and learning about their own privilege..  

I matched with a few guys and had brief conversations with them before getting overwhelmed about messaging people on dating apps (happens whenever I can’t keep on top of messaging like more than one person at a time).  There were some okay chats, nothing overly flirty.  Some voicenotes which freaked me out a little, not 100% sure why hearing men’s voices so early after speaking to someone online scares me, but it’s probably because I’m not as comfortable sending voicenotes myself.  

There was a lot of me saying to myself “what am I doing?! LOLOLOL”

I’m going to talk about one of the guys in particular now.  We’ll call him Z.  Z’s profile was very minimal, basically just said “ask if you want to know more”.  But he had a nice face, lovely smile, and his first picture even looked quite feminine in the face - he has super long eyelashes and due to the lockdown hair he was wearing a hairband.  He’s Asian (Sikh) like my two closest friends.  I have spoken to him more than any of the other matches from Bumble.  We don’t really talk much of substance.  I told him I’m “basically a lesbian” quite early on  and he told me he’d been healing from a long relationship and was now “ready to have some fun”.  He didn’t seem particularly phased that I was into women, didn’t say anything cringey like “don’t worry, I’ll turn you” (which is what I used to get when I was younger).  This pushed the conversations in a direction where it was kind of agreed that this was all a bit of fun - flirty, sexual.  

My first experience with a guy being interested me back in high school eventually turned into a FWB situation so this type of relationship I am used to and basically expect from men..  I’m not particularly bother by this atm but might unpack this some more at some point.   

Anyway, as me and Z are just having some fun, I’ve not been vulnerable or told him much about things I care about - I don’t even think he knows my full name. It has actually been a breath of fresh air when I’ve been with people who are too intense for me throughout my dating life.  He is very much the kind of person I would never usually interact with too- likes and plays football, hangs with a group of “lads”.  I don’t think we have anything in common yet we still manage to chat (albeit with gaps of many hours in between some messages).

What did interest me about Z quite early on in our conversations is that he never said the word “girls”, always “women”.  I pointed this out to him and he confirmed he did that on purpose because he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “boy” and that women deserve the same language used when referencing grown ass women.  This sticks in my mind as it definitely broke down one of my mental barriers around men not being able to understand “what’s the big deal”.  I think that’s probably why I’ve managed to speak to him for as long as we have.  Later on he also mentioned that people “can’t be fat shaming” which surprised me even more.  (Does my brain think cis-het men live under a rock or something?!).

We’ve been speaking 3 weeks at this stage.  We agreed to meet this weekend.  We ended up delaying it from Sunday to last night (Monday) because he was tired from a busy weekend and “wanted to give me the full experience”.  Surprisingly this didn’t make me super cringe.  I think I was probably more relieved to delay it another day as I was pretty nervous about how it would go, my head overthinking like - what if we have nothing to talk about? what if he comes all this way and I change my mind (as I am of course allowed to)? what if he’s a catfish and hurts me? etc. etc.  I don’t overthink this much when I date women.

So he was on his way.  I was running in circles getting ready like “WHAT AM I DOING?!!!”.  I had some rum to take the edge off and played the piano anxiously while he was on the way as something to take my mind off thinking about what was about to happen.

He arrived.  He was who he said he was.  He was the person who was in his pictures.  He was slightly slimmer than I expected but that was just the angles that his pictures were taken in.  It wasn’t awkward.  I poured us a drink and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a couple of hours.  He talked a lot, I hardly got a word in edgeways.  I didn’t mind as it put me at ease that there was no awkward silences. 

We finished our drinks.  I hadn’t left the heating on in my lounge so it had gotten quite cold..  I got closer to him.  Then we kissed.  It was nice.  I love kissing anyone who’s a good kisser no matter their gender. The excitement of the whole situation turned me on and we took it to my bedroom.

I struggled to look at him naked although when I did, I didn’t feel strange like I thought I would.  Obviously there is nothing wrong with the male form, I just haven’t seen a dude naked in my bedroom for years and when I was younger I used to tell myself I had phallophobia..  The sex was pretty much what I was looking for.  He didn’t bring a condom though which didn’t annoy me loads in the moment, despite him saying “I prefer without but ok” to which I replied “I don’t know where you’ve been” *eye roll*.  I thankfully had my own condoms (my stash usually for making dental dams, yno) but after I was kind of thinking to myself like “who the fuck goes to have casual sex with someone and doesn’t bring a condom when they have a penis?!”. I didn’t even let my ex bare-back me let alone some random dude.  

Anyway, I did it.  Consensual sex was better than any sex I had with my ex (not surprising).  He didn’t make me climax but it felt good (sex isn’t goal orientated for me but I know it was for him, as I assume it is with most men).  We held each other and chatted naked for a while after.  I think he wanted round 2 but I’m not sure I could have handled it.  He left relatively promptly after and I felt.. content.

I think I got what I wanted out of the experience.  It definitely boosted my confidence.  I’m not sure if I’ll see him again yet.  I definitely still feel very queer and mostly into women, I missed boobs a lot (like what do het-women hold onto?).

Part of me is like “okay next step is to see what it would be like to go on a romantic date with a guy” - something I have never ever done.  I don’t think I’ve been interested in it in the past (since growing up that is).  I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I would probably just treat them as my friend and have no clue how to flirt (if I even wanted to flirt).  But there are many conflicting thoughts about dating men romantically - what if it’s a success?  I’d end up feeling disowned by my new queer friends or judged by them, or what if I hurt someone?  how will dating guys impact how I feel about my own queerness??  I just settled back into my queer identity and now it feels I’m going backwards again.

I am definitely enjoying this new side to me that doesn’t take dating seriously and being comfortable that I don’t want a relationship right now and that’s okay!  I am continually learning about myself and trying to breakdown my own barriers so I can be my most true authentic self.  I’m having fun, and doing what’s best for me.  Which is a complete u-turn on the person I was less than a few years ago who just wanted to please everyone and was so depressed and burnt out doing so.

[10boys]

MLQC : Oral (receving)

♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

Gavin:

-Ugh ok so Gavin is 100% a giver

-He loves you more than life literally and theres nothing he wouldn’t do to show you.

-Naturally , hes a super bashful guy and gets a bit embarrassed when its time for he himself to be taken care of. He’s so used to being responsible for others that showing his vulnerability is something that took time, which you gladly gave him. You and Gavin have such a comfortable bond now he could do anything infront of you but ya know only things that make him look cool infront of you

-He came to your house superr late at night since after being on one of his week-long missons, still in uniform and smelling of “outside” to his airborn location

-after quick ilys and imys you offer him a shower to wined him down of his journeys

-The moment he stepped in and left you alone with your thoughts, they went wild

-His thick body fit into his uniform so well, his chest heaving from fatigue of his flight. His masculine smell filled your nose when you first embraced, the same one emanating from his steamy shower. Your thighs twiched as you imagined his body elongated and streached out to wash himself in the shower. His musclier arms reached above to rub the conditioner into his hair, the white bubbles dripping down his muscles coming together in the creases of his back. They’d dip into his V-line , as if showing your eyes where to go. Just as your were getting to the most delicious spot..

-“Babe..what are you looking at?”

-Actions speak louder than words......

-He layed beneath you on the bed as you kissed and sucked at his neck and ears. His fresh wet scent was tantalizing, his skin was soft and delicate beneath your fingertips. He held a tight grip on your waste, seemingly trying to keep you close as possible to him.

-Feeling your breast smothered onto his chest , nipples supply poking into his skin made the heat rush to his dick at an unbelievable speed

-Gavin has a very...active imagination. A small peak at your collar bones or the back of your lower thighs and he already has a saucy full-body image of you in his head. Saying something vaguely suggestive to him is the equivalent of your whimpers in his ear. You’ve ever wondered why those cheeks are always red?

-Plus the boys just super horny in general lol he always wants saucy times when hes with you. You don’t even have to ask and at the blink of an eye he’s shirtless ( he loves being shirtless for you ‘baby pls look at my hot bod pls love me the most’ )

-He poked you from beneath his navy boxers, hips slightly bucking into you as you continued to grope as suck at his neck and chest. His face flushed pink as his head started to cloud in his light waves of pleasure.

-As you began to kiss him lower, golden eyes poured into your own. He watched the way your lips connect and parted with his skin, leaving sheen pelts of spit his torso. Your tongue danced down his happy trail as you sucked light purple circles onto his lower abdomen.

-Gavin is a grunt and groner. He’s still shy, so he’ll be quiet at the beginning, but its hard to keep his cool when your figure is present to use at his leasure. Heavy breaths and pants will escape as he lets himself roam. His hands will never stay in the same spot when you’re around...They’ll start on your thighs, then to your waste, then your chest, then behind your head, then back to your chest, then to your ass, waist and chest, thighs and chest you get the idea

-Actually, most of the moans you hear from him are simply cause he failed at holding them in

-Btw Gavins v gentle with you but his ass grabs are superr hard. He probably just gets carried away at the sensation of it filling his palm but you usually still feel his grip long after he’s let go.

-He just wants to be everywhere, to take and claim all of you.

-You kiss and smell along his length, palming him over his briefs. The smell was so intoxicating you couldn’t help but clench your thighs, trying to create a heat of your own. You quickly disregard of his boxers revealing his beautiful fully erected cock. Pre-cum dribbes down as the cold hair hits his tip, or maybe cause the view of your face so close to his cock is just that hot.

“Mmm Babe stop looking” srry baby ur just so beautiful. Ofc you can’t look for long without him getting bashful.

-He has a large vein ranging from ball to tip and it feels amazing when you run your tongue across it. Like Victor, Gavin loves watching you play with it. Its almost too much for him to watch. Lick him all around with as much spit on your tongue as you can get, kiss his tip with his balls in your hand. And for the sake of our boy make alllll the dick-sucking noises too- They’re his favorite. He even trys to stay quiet to hear them better.

-You don’t tease Gavin as much as you do the others. Although he would take it for you, hes way too impatient. He’s got great stamina from his daily workouts and could fuck for years, but his first nut usually comes rather quickly. Like i said, it doesn’t take much to rile him up.

-A wet mouth and hollow cheeks get the job done for him. His grip in your hair is kinda massage like, he rakes along your scalp in un-rythmic patterns. In other words, he totally fucks up your hair everytime.

-In usual circumstances, your body is usually draped over him in the 69 position while you suck. Gavin absolutely, and i mean absolutely loves the smell of pussy. He is 100% a panty stealer. He loves to have your backside smothering his face as he thrusts up into your mouth. The smell is absolutely engulfing to him, he can’t help to suck at you from over your panties.

-But for sessions created just for catering to him, he likes to sit on the edge of the bed with your naked body quivering below him. He likes watching the liquids from your mouth dribbling off your chin to rest on your bouncing chest. But his favorite part is your legs spread wide for him exposing your opened heat. His tongue often peaks out in in-voluntarily licking motions before he can bite his lips. Your clit is his eye candy as he thrusts himself closer to his release.

-Typically lf hes layed across the bed he uses his forarm to hide his erotic faces from you he must not know how orgasmic you find them

-Gavins orgasims come on strong, erupting a deep growl from his throat as he shoots his loud into your mouth. His tense face softens , eyebrows rising showing his state of complete bliss. He stiffens, holding you down on him until his very last wave.

-Once he’s done, he releases his grip resulting in an erotic view of his white semen spilling out from your mouth, it drips down onto your breast piling up with the rest of your liquids. Your wattering eyes look up into his sending an intense blush across his cheeks

-If Gavin were in an anime he would be the boy with massive nose bleeds when he see’s you

-ooh no he’s horny again

-yes he will clean u up first

Kiro:

- Kiro is also a giver in theory

- Now dont get me wrong- this bright bubbly ball of sunshine loves to give his acts of service to you, but he is , very much so, a boy. He loves when you go down on him, he loves being the center of your attention and all your gestures.

-Kiros definitely a pint up boy- going from show to show and interview to interview, he barley has enough time to sleep let alone relive himself. When you two first got together, he was very modest and a bit shy to show his manly desires for you. He respects you for being such an important person in his life, having ungodly thoughts about you made him feel like a nasty boy. But as time passed and you escalated in your intamacy, he is absolutely shameless in letting you know what he wants or if he’s ‘in the mood~” “babee.. stop working..i wanna play~” “Those shorts look very good on you miss chips...so... short”

-Kiro doesnt talk much to let you know what he wants anyway, in fact, one glance into those ocean blue orbs and you know his intentions. He’ll act super cutesy at first, slowly inching his body closer to yours for ‘innocent cuddles’. Kiro is a very hands-on affectionate, so this part was normal. But soon his hands will start to wonder and grope while a devious smirk spreads across his face he knows you see him as a sweet little angel and he will play that role to his advantage

-He’ll nuzzle his head into your chest demanding you take notice to his actions like a freaking puppy, And once you lower your gaze to find his figure latched around yours, his seemly sensual orbs pour into you, sending you notice of his want for you. When kiro uses his cuteness to fight for dominance he will always win.Always. And you’re okay with that.

-Kiros not necessarily shy about his noises for you , especially after all the praises you’ve whispered to him about how good they sound. He’ll moan and whimper to you as your hands massage his length over his boxers, peppering kisses down his neck and across his chest. Your kisses feel like heaven to him, leaving small waves of heat at every peck and nibble left on him.

-With that said, when you start kissing and sucking at his lower abdomen , his mouth immediately hangs releasing a steady breathy moan for you. The view when you looked up at him was godly..

-Kiros pleasure face is absolutely erotic. His pleasure state in general is mouth watering. His eyes are dark and low, his face twists and contorts, he grabs at everything; His hair, the sheets, the pillows, you, anything that might fall into his grasp is being pulled and scratched at. As much as you would love to spend all your time planting kisses on his skin, you quickly relocate to different spots making sure not to leave any marks. Kiros shirt lifts a considerable amount of times from him jumping around on stage, so its better not to ruin any of his fans’ day by new-found knowledge of his intamacys. This service is for you but that is fan-service for them.

-Kiro loves being teased :)

-Blow your heat onto his head from over his boxers for a easy and quick way to wake up little kiro. Kiss him around the spots he wants you too, and make sure to keep eye contact. He gets super off from you watching him he just loves attention

-Please pay all attention to his balls. Lick them up and down for a while with his legs spread wide, nibble and suck at them. This will make his hips a thrusting mess as he trys to create more friction for himself.

-He’ll use his own hand to push his dick in your mouth, but first, he’ll watch as you lay there mouth wide and tongue hung for him. He’ll press his tip against your face, letting it roll over all your features. He lets out a soft giggle before letting the tip roll over your hot wet tongue. The wave immediately made his cock twich infront of you, a dribble of pre-cum leaking from his tip.

-Kiro is def a hand holder. Pls expect him to want your fingers interlocked to bring a loving gesture to your vile actions. He’s internally lovey-dovey during sex. Even if he’s not verbally spitting soft phrases at you, his mind is filled with fluffy thoughts of you “ahh.. so pretty” “she uses her mouth so good..” “she’s so lovely” “im so lucky” “..m-more there...ah...perfect” “i love her so much”

-Kiro nuts very well <3

- The boys orgasims...are mighty. His hip thrusts might get a little rough as his head fills with waves of pleasure, subconsciously bobbing your head down a little harder than intended. Short moans tumble over eatch other as his breath quickens considerably. He trys his hardest to keep his eyes open, the view of you teary-eyed engulfing his length is enough to finish him and it does .

- A few more deep sucks and his back arches, his body stiffens as waves of hypnotizing pleasure take him over. His moans were as pretty as his singing coming close, but as the shocks of heated kisses reminisce through his nerves , he sits silent, mouth hung open only to release small high-pitched gasps and a maybe dribble of drool.

-As he comes down from his high he’ll wipe your face and spit beautiful praises at you. He’s a fluff after sex so expect lots of mushy gushy cuddles and pillow talk <3

“Wow...that was the best one...”

“you said that the last time...and the time before...”

“Yeah !!! Until next time too~ !!”

-

Yayyy the continuation is done! Pls lmk what you think, and my ask is currently open ! Gavins is a bit short cause he’s my fav, so im a perfectionist in representing his image lol. Will add the links once im off work -Myk

[spacemilkies]

Could you do a Ben Hargreeves request where the reader and Ben dated and were in love before he died and the readers always been there for Klaus so they're like best friends but the reader doesn't know that Ben is with Klaus after he dies since he wants her to be able to move on even though he's always gonna love her but obviously it comes out? Like fluff flashbacks to them being happy and in love. I love your writing btw!

title: the wheels go round and round

pairing: ben hargreeves x reader; platonic!klaus hargreeves x reader

summary: 

the three of you were like a three-wheeled bike

but then you lost a wheel

its a good thing most bicyles can run on two wheels …

right?

a/n: bless the day to umbrella academy. after months of drought, it rained down 5k+ words on my soul

hope you like!

It was more than just an itch.

When describing the sensation of feeling the departed, Klaus had always summarized the connection to an itch.

But it was more than that.

It was a whisper at times and a shout at its worst.

It was both the burn of a cigarette and the sharp punch of frost.

Klaus no longer just enjoyed life because since the day he was born, he’d been destined to share it. Whether it be someone’s brother, mother or aunt.

He couldn’t simply exist without the obligation of presenting himself as a window to those who have departed. They were tethered to him, mere specters unable to indulge in their own whims.

But more often than not, Klaus felt like the collar was around his own neck. The hallucinations tightening around his throat like a noose.

It was suffocating.

Until the few times it wasn’t.

The moments where Ben was on one side,

and you were on the other.

“Please … Klaus. Not tonight.”

Had he had the energy, Klaus would have rejoiced. In the sea of hell, submerged in a pool of souls, hearing his dear brother’s voice was like breaking the surface.

Regrettably, at times he’d been too deep to begin with. The rapid ascend cracking his chest with aches and muddling the shores of his mind.

Or perhaps it was just the cocaine.

‘Twas all a blur at this age.

Except for his brother.

Klaus had been convinced that his brother’s multiple appendages had followed him into the next life, where they finally joined into one.

One string enough to define the parameters of life and death.

One potent enough where Klaus could almost feel the warmth of his finger tips.

No, this was definitely the cocaine speaking.

Shuddering past the residue, eyes fixated forward despite the obvious request for his attention. He learned long ago that it was much easier to escape the allure of desires that were not his own this way.

Of course, the notion worked better with strangers.

“And what exactly did I promise, dear brother?”

He knew.

Ben only sought him out for two things: loneliness and you.

And the two were often more intertwined than independent.

The phantom steps weren’t quite as soundless when the familiar gait in his memory coupled with reality. With his head bowed, Klaus only allowed himself the view of the restless sneakers planted in front of him.

He would account for deniability for just a little longer. Just until the fog lifted.

Yes, there was one plus to his powers.

No matter how much his brother wanted to launch him into kingdom come with the flick of his very murderous friends, there was just no true density to his physical wants.

“Klaus were going to be late. The recital starts in less twenty minutes. “

And in the other side of town, Klaus recalled groggily of the event he wasn’t suppose to remember. Not only would he be pushing the limits of his rather shallow physicality, but he would also suffer to the sharp keys struck in cohesion to whatever dated classical piece chosen for the night.

He could still hear the thundering notes of the last one echoing off the sides of his skull.

The agony of the preservation of music.

“Klaus!”

“Fuck!” Scrambling to his feet, the disheveled man shakily reached for the wall for balance. A few of his trivial belongings clattered to the street below. At least they were disposable now, there was no way he’d be able to make the trip back down again.

Beyond the determination, there was a hint of sympathy in Ben’s gaze. Despite being forever frozen in time by passing, Klaus felt like he was still growing despite the absence of aging. That and Klaus always had a soft spot for his sixth placed sibling.

Well, shit, there went his small window of deniability.

Smoothing his hands down the tattered and grimy black of his clothing, Klaus snuffed audibly as he looked down the alleyway.

“Well let’s get going then.”

____

“Fucking cmon, man.”

Klaus let out a quiet groan of disgruntlement when he peered around the corner once more. Much like like last three times, funding his brother just as ensnared with his significant other.

Despite his warnings, neither of the couple had kept things chaste. He’s managed to get more than an eyeful of Ben’s wandering hands and exposed skin.

Keeping a timer was a futile attempt.

They were too young to die.

Practically skinned alive by their father for sneaking out again.

Getting caught for it again.

All for love.

Teenage reckless love.

Counting upward, skipping a few useless numbers along the way, Klaus finally decided on a limit and turned back to the pair with a stronger resolve.

“As distastefully envious I am of your abrupt jump from bases so quickly, I’m afraid you’ll deny me the opportunity to try the same in the future if we don’t get going,” he emphasized with a pointed look at anything but the two flushed individuals.

Ben let out an equality frustrated huff and you laughed in turn.

And Klaus…,

Poor Klaus was just ready to end it all.

Ben drew you in close once more for a quick snog, one teetering close to another endless makeout fest without his brother’s grunt.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, after your classes?”

Your face scrunched in thought, before clearing with recollection and you shook your head,” I have practice tomorrow evening.”

Ben’s bottom lip pulled downward at the thought, but you quickly remedied it with a peck on the cheek and a suggestion.

“But maybe, we can meet at night? At the cafe?”

The question was directed more towards the lingering Klaus, who rolled his eyes.

The gesture met by silence.

Seconds ticking into minutes, until he couldn’t take it any longer.

He threw up his arms in exasperation.

“Fine, you little miscreants. I swear if you two drag me through a teenage pregnancy. I will kill you both and drag your souls into my bedroom to view a true the horrors of entangled lovers.”

_

“Ugh, I don’t know.”

Rubbing sleepily under the droop of his eyes, Klaus was willing to bet anything as long as it got him back in bed before noon. If someone told him something like friendship was such a binding contract, he would have gladly done without it.

The remaining option of pure solicitude and his family be damned.

Anything less would have had him in bed still.

“Look, Ben will love anything you get him. He’s easy like that,” he quipped around a yawn.

What he didn’t mention was how frankly any of them would take a grain of salt if it came as a gift on their names-day.

Who knew being born without an identity would come without the rest of the joys in the world. But with everything else denied, what was one more traumatized shard of a misplaced childhood.

When he finally returned to reality, he found you standing just under him, your nose barely bringing the line of his shoulder. You were watching intently, in a way that could only be described as expectation.

Ah, you’d said something else hadn’t you?

God, he was just making this much longer for himself.

What did Ben even like?

Surely under all the endless screaming and turmoil Klaus had been present enough to at least learn something impertinent about his brother.

All of his siblings mumble of wants.

A proper life.

A real family.

Friends.

Bringing together all two of his lingering brain cells, he squared his shoulders with a posture of authority. “A music book.”

To his suggestion, your nose twisted into a look of pure disbelief.

Oh, you unfortunate clueless little doll. If only he had the time to introduce you to the chaotic world his brother had created to express his undying love for you.

“A music book, because he likes to understand you. You and that complicated, beautifully musically-inclined brain that he’s so obsessed with. Poor boy is tone deaf, but if he can keep up with you literately, then he’s a happy monkey.”

His lips pulled at the joke that went over your head with no reminiscence.

All that mattered was that his brother would be happy.

You would be sated.

And he could get his ass back to sleep.

Klaus felt like something worse than a train had plowed into him. Which was ironic, because he couldn’t think of much else that would leave his body wriggling in agony.

Just the effort needed to part his eyelids felt like shouldering the weight of cinderblocks. The trials of it all would have been much more terrifying had it only been the first occurrence.

Fortunately, or supposedly unfortunately given his state of health, this was far from the first time that he’d found himself plastered to his brother’s couch. His impromptu visits were really beginning to affect the integrity of the upholstery, he mused as he picked lethargically at the dried flakes of his own spittle.

Not even on his best day could Klaus recall exactly where they’d drug him from this time. He tended to only bare the scorches of hell not the memories of it.

A low rumble of thunder tickled at his consciousness, and his body managed to comprehend the action to find the available window perched just east of his grungy nest.

To find only instant regret as the bright rays began the thrall if his punishment.

No storm then.

Then what was- oh.

“The parents are arguing,” He sang alone and off tune to the accompaniment of two voices just beyond his reach. Despite its size, their cute little kitchen managed manifest acoustics only found in the hazy mists if his shower.

“He needs to go to rehab, Ben! This is getting ridiculous.”

“Rehab isn’t going to cure the voices. “

Understanding the horrors behind why Klaus was such a dysfunctional mess had done nothing to deter your efforts to provide him with solace.

More often than not he found himself drug to recitals and practice performances where you felt the noise would help to overcome the screams.

It may have been a nicer sentiment should he have control of the playlist if songs. He was more likely to fall asleep and face his maker than find peace.

Indirectly he found himself observing Vanya on more than one occasion, however, a Samaritan token that he hoped he could cash in at some point in the future

“So were suppose to just let him keep doing this to him self. “

Oh bless your soul.

Klaus shoulders rolled in a crooked dance as his hand touched the three places out of order to a religion he had no experience dabbling in.

May the big guy or women upstairs truly gift you for your heart.

“Baby, it’s not that easy…”

Well, gift you more than they had when they wrapped Ben up and presented him to you.

Klaus wondered if you recognized the veteran you were when it came to keeping the real monsters at bay.

“You think when this is all over … think I could marry her?”

The question was asked so causally that Klaus nearly inhaled the paper roll balanced between his lips. Ben, this little rascal, hardly missed a second as he reached over to take a puff for himself.

A slow dazed smile curled at his lips, his mind floating up and away in chase of the cloud.

All the while, Klaus nearly died from an abrupt pneumonectomy.

“Sorry, I’d like to dissect this first. When what’s over? Sorry to break it to you, but those powers aren’t going anywhere.”

That was a long dead dream amongst all the siblings. This was their life and they just had to adapt to make the best of it.

Funny, he couldn’t remember if he’d heard that from mom or dad.

Frankly, their mother was an autonomous robot programmed by their father, so he supposed they were one in the same.

He shudders at the visage.

Ben took another long drag before handing the joint back, letting the smoke settle in him before releasing it out into the world. He was becoming such a professional, Klaus almost wanted to cry.

Rolling his head back, Ben caught his brother’s gaze, the same languid grin still plastered on his lips,” I mean the old man has got to die at some point right? Then we’d be free.”

Except the old geezer just couldn’t seem to find the bucket to kick. Klaus had to wonder if he was even born with one.

Maybe that’s why he took everything from them, because he lost his bucket. Since he had to suffered it was only right that he did.

Scoffing, Klaus fell back into the cushions of the couch. Their father dying would just be one nightmare for another to him. While his other siblings lived their life, he’d be the unlikely bastard still hearing dead old dad.

He waved his brother to continue,” So dad dies. He has no more control. Enter your bride to be. What could go wrong ?”

“They could say no.”

The taste of rejection was familiar and thick, a viscous emotion that was contagious in all the worst ways. It was an airborne virus, a bacterial infection- a stigma embedded into the very walls they grew up in.

They’d spent their whole lives being discarded from the inside. How would they handle the same on the outside?

Well Klaus certainly didn’t think that Ben deserved that.

“You’re an idiot. Of course they would say yes.”

And when that lazy smile brightening with the energy of the sun, Klaus thinks, yeah it’ll be alright.

___

Except it’s not.

It’s the opposite of okay.

___

“Did you know he wanted to marry me?”

Klaus looks up in surprise, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t. You were equally as expressive as you were aware. To be honest, you had to be to keep up with them.

Just because they were a danger, didn’t mean they weren’t inherently surrounded by it as well.

As fate brought about.

Ben always made sure to keep you on your toes. Scolding you when your back was turned to the happenings of the world. It was done out of love, to protect you from what you couldn’t see.

Your defense when he wasn’t there.

So of course you’d been primed to pick up on little mannerisms and peculiarities. Lately, when the two of you were alone, wrapped up in your lovers nest, Ben often lost himself to his own thoughts.

But naturally that wasn’t enough to support the little investigation.

No, you needed evidence.

The little box hidden behind the bookshelf was more than enough to close the case.

You still had it.

Unsure of what to do with it now. It didn’t seem like a family heirloom, but what did you know ?

The touch of your own hand stroked fondly over the fingers of your left, a quirk of a sullen smile twitching halfheartedly.

“Yeah, I knew. It was so easy to tell with him.”

Ben’s manifestation came as easy as a whisper yet felt like the heavy side of an iron hammer. He hovered between the two of them, uncertainty rooting his presence just short of reaching you.

His face twisted at the sight of your solemn agony as you picked apart the memories of your life together.

“Every recital I kept wonder if that was going to be the day. “

Klaus could only watch it play out, no plausible intervention available in his capacity to offer comfort. The wound was still so fresh and deep with all of them. The two of you together were just barely managing to keep the gape from tearing wider.

“Then I realized, that wouldn’t be his style. He’d probably try to stick it in a milkshake then freak out when I went for a spoon.”

Ben’s broken laugh cracks his chest, rattling like a case of skeletons. Klaus is glad you can’t hear it, the torment of its sound would only plague his nightmares.

“I would have said yes without a ring.”

When Ben reaches for her, Klaus can’t help but do the same. The urge feels like his own, physically, but when his brother lays his hand atop the pile the warmth doesn’t feel like it’s coming from his own body. At the touch, it sparks an array of emotions he’d only once viewed through a one way mirror.

Now he was the window.

Too bad it was already broken.

“I would have said yes to anything.”

____

“Every time. I know you say you’ll see me again, but damn, you really surprise me, Klaus.”

When Klaus draws you in for a hug, its more than instinctual. Its not an ambient desire.

Its a whim of his own, something that he takes his own personal comfort in.

His.

So maybe he’s a little disgruntled, when a third pair of arms joins the embrace.

And maybe, he’s a little smug when you only respond to his warmth, and his alone.

Call it his own payment.

Grinning, you brush away the damp fringe from your flushed cheek. You always called performing a rush. He thought living with Vanya would help him understand that, but it seemed that music lover’s were truly just one of a kind.

“Tell her how amazing she sounded.”

Ben encroaches on the moment again, and Klaus grits his teeth to bare the grin as he recites the words. Sometimes he wonders if he you can hear his voice as well as he can. The two of you always had such a special connection.

It was a shame that death had to be the one thing that built a wall between you.

With a sigh that could double as exhaustion, you leaned back on your heels. The adrenaline of the recital was finally wearing off. All the long nights and endless dance of fingers across the keys had waned down to this moment, and now it was over.

For now at least.

Give or take a few weeks, just short of a month or two and you would be back at it again.

“So … you look … good?” You winced at the delivery but prided yourself on how it didn’t come out sounding like an interrogation. It was so difficult to properly voice your worries when it came to Klaus.

So much had changed over the years.

You thought you would be able to function without the third wheel.

Most bikes ran on just two after all.

But Klaus seemed to need that third wheel in a capacity that you just couldn’t understand. Frankly, there were a lot of things you didn’t quite comprehend and you had practically dated a superhero.

But with Ben it had been not easy but simpler in all the ways that came natural as being together.

Klaus was the opposite in more ways the one.

Yet so explicitly streamlined down the single reason that he wasn’t alone.

He was never really alone.

No matter how often you tried to fill the space with your presence, some skeleton from the past managed to draw him away.

You think thats the one thing you hated most about the house he grew up in. Despite all those people, it had been voided from so much love that it got to the point that he’d let anything in.

And now he didn’t know how to close the door.

He was getting so weathered just standing at the entrance, taking whatever was thrown at him.

Klaus managed his usual exaggerated grin, and you made no comment of how it drooped a the side. “Oh, but thank you my dear. Truly, here I thought no one would noticed how I walked straight off the runway to make it here on time.”

Laughing came easy, even when it was forced.

“Well, I appreciate it. I really do, Klaus. Everytime.”

Klaus lifts his shoulders and let him fall in his own quirky way,“It’s what he would have wanted.”

“Still wants.” Ben’s words drift like a breeze.

You reach for his hand, meaning every word as they cross your lips,“Yeah, well, he had a great brother.”

There was no denying that your friendship had fractured from being on the receiving end of the blow that was Ben’s death. Things weren’t quite as they were, lacking the instrumental piece that his ghost couldn’t be to bridge your worlds.

But it wasn’t broken.

Ben wouldn’t allow it. He kept Klaus alive, pushing him to remain conscious and aware of the world. Even if his brother’s motivations were selfish demonstrations of his own agendas.

At the end of the day, Klaus retained your friendship.

And in a world of apparitions, it was nice to reach for something and have it met half way.

“Yes, thank you. I’m glad he can hear that and my efforts are for naught.”

Ben flittered between the two of you, instinctively drawn into your orbit. Klaus tried not encroach, but unable to not watch as Ben tried in vain to grasp the wisps of your hair. The intentions phased through you without your notice yet Ben’s look of complacence didn’t falter in the slightest.

It’s what he wanted for you after all.

Your blissful unawareness would be necessary for you to properly prefers in a world without him.

Even when he was still there to watch your steps forward.

“We should treat her to her favorite cafe.”

Ben was back at his side, flickering in and out of space with ease. The question snapped Klaus out of his revere and he found himself answering audibly in reflex,“Oh yes, with my limited funds.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion,

“Sorry?”

Klaus waved you off, not having to explain in detail for once or come up with an exuberant tale to mask his insanity. “Oh, not you.”

Your eyes flashed with recognition. Apart as you were, you weren’t as accustomed to Klaus day to day demons. The man who was once a constant in your life managed to fade to the background without your say so. You knew he was doing it out of his own attempts to shield you. 

With Ben, you were a proper team, one that could at least attempt to maintain the forlorn sibling. But alone, it felt like you were a mere spectator.

“Is it getting worse? I mean its, always worse right?”

“Not… always,” he trailed off.

“Klaus you cant keep drowning them away the way you are. Its not healthy.”

This really wasn’t how he planned for this evening to go. But you were a lecturer at heart and consequently he was your favorite subject. He had resist the urge to make a face when Ben hummed in agreement. “I know that.”

He looked up at the touch of your hand, trying hard not get to far swept into your altruistic stigma. Without Ben around, he’d managed to do a better job of dragging you into his mess rather than allow you to pull him out.

You were just too helpful.

Always loaning money or your couch to rest on.

Just attending your performances hardly felt like a redemption to all your kindness. Ben certainly felt that way. In Klaus defense, he never lead a very virtuous life to begin with. Besides, wasn’t the point of all this for you to live your own life?

Ben had died, leaving you two to reform a friendship in his absence. Sure, it was the squeakiest wheel but it turned.

You had just as strong of a hand in keeping him afloat.

“Then act like you mean it. I know its not fair for me to simplify something so difficult, but you just have to cut them out.”

Klaus wondered if he’d imagined the hitch in your voice or if Ben had noticed it as well. Your gaze had lowered as you delivered into your speech, hiding away the true emotions festering beneath. Klaus didn’t know what he would do if the sniffling began. He was oh so terrible when it came to managing emotions that were not his own.

Who was he kidding, he hardly had a reign on those.

But you continued on. Your stance growing sterner with every word.

“Let the past go.”

“Forget about them.”

“Move on.”

They were the same words regurgitated from Ben’s own request to see that you moved on properly after his death. He hadn’t wanted you to remain stuck on his ghost, remembering what had been and constantly reimagining what could be.

More importantly, he wanted you to let go of him completely, so that you wouldn’t seek him out in Klaus.

Klaus always found it odd how you never showed any addition resistance to Ben’s ‘dying’ request. Not that he expected you to declare vengeance. But you knew, he was a walking window to the world of the dead. Knew that if he tried enough, he could manifest Ben back to you. But you never asked.

You just smiled and nodded.

Ben pretended to be unaffected, tried to convince himself that it was what he wanted. But Klaus knew he was hurting from the lack of contact. Yearning to use the advantage only his brother could provide.

Wanting.

Needing.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Even Ben?”

Ben was in front of him immediately, his face hardened in the event of Klaus breaching their deal. But Klaus was done with the suffering, tired of making everyone around him feel it too.

At one point in their lives, they were all happy.

And it was time to stop acting like Ben’s absence was the end of it all.

“Ben…”

Klaus expected more tears. Something of a sort of production of dramatics that would call attention to your private moment. He certainly had the theatrics in him to do so. But you were just … quiet. As if hearing Ben’s name aloud had stripped the sound from your voice.

Ben looked at him with chagrin, mouth already moving to berate Klaus’ impulsive decision,” Look what you did- all our progress.”

“I didn’t want to! I just-”

“Ben, its fine.”

The silence that followed was deafening. It took them both a moment more to realize which of the pair you’d called out to. And with such confidence. You’d just included yourself in the conversation as if you’d been there from the start.

As if you’d-

“You knew…”

Klaus somehow managed to add more foundation to Ben’s fractured words. The weight of the realization suddenly splintering the mirage you’d all built together to keep the world spinning. You’d all contributed to the great tragedy in which no one was truly happy.

“That you could see him?” Your shrug was lopsided. The weight uneven as you offloaded your own demons. “Klaus, you can see everyone. Of course, I figured you would seek out your own brother.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Like there were idiots for thinking otherwise.

In a way they were.

“But you never-”

” -said anything?” You interrupted with another sluggish shrug,” Ben made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me to know. The least i could do was respect those wishes.”

You’d do anything for Ben.

Even forget.

Or pretend to, at least.

What would you be, if you couldn’t meet his last request.

Frankly, it was all too much for Klaus, his body shaking with misplaced laughter as the situation settled within him. You truly knew them- knew them both better than they knew themselves. They’d presented a game and got played by it.

Ben was fairing slightly better, daring to even smile a little in muted pride. Klaus finds himself thrown back in time, the same feeling of trespassing establishing within him when Ben reaches out with a phantom hand to stroke your cheek.

Swallowing around the barrier, Klaus narrates helpfully,” He’s uh- stroking your cheek. Or trying to at least.”

For some reason you all laugh, your accompanied by bringing your own hand up to touch the side of your face. You’d managed to find the right cheek without either of their guidance. Not that anyone was surprised anymore.

“I’ve missed you.”

Oh how Klaus wished you could hear Ben. Something you could all agree on. But he played his part, being the voice needed to maintain the connection,” “He misses you.”

When you open your eyes, your gaze is more watery than it had been before,” Yeah, I’ve missed you too.” 

Klaus is caught off guard when your hand extends out, fingers flexing. At first he thinks you’d dared to try to reach for Ben, hopeful for a missing touch. But instead he finds your gaze trained on him, your touch as warm as he remembers.

“I knew I could rely on him to keep you alive. “

Ben chuckles fondly,” Damn right.”

You sigh audibly through your nose, giving Klaus one last squeeze before letting go. “Honestly, this is great. I felt so weird trying to pretend like he wasn’t there. Seriously, you two share one brain cell. As long as you’re functioning, it was safe to assume Ben wasn’t far.”

The jib was popular joke of yours when Ben was still alive. The two brothers were a mix of mischief that you rarely managed to keep up with. Together they were a duo, but the three of you were more than a trio.

A unit that sheltered each other from the harshness of reality.

“I’ll take you up on those parfaits now. Maybe a hot chocolate with a shot. I know you’ve got something on you.“

Klaus was going to end up with whiplash by the end of the night with the way this conversation was going. You departed from them with a promise to return as quickly as you could change, leaving the two siblings floundering in place.

“I know I said this before, but your fiancé is strange.”

The way Ben smiles reminds Klaus of the day he decided that he was in love with you.

Ben didn’t even try to correct him.

“Yeah, but we like them that way.”

[randomimaginesideas]

One more chance (Klaus x reader)

Request; May I request a Klaus x reader but like REALLY ANGSTY cause I’m in a sad mood uwu. With the prompts 31, 19, 17. I know, very angsty 😅🥺 but I love Klaus so can you please write a happy ending please and thank you if you can! 🥰🏹💛💛 Also I really liked the recent tattoo shop! the smut was good btw

- 17. “Please don’t cry. Do anything but cry.”

- 19. “I can’t do this anymore.”

- 31. “You cheated on me?”

Summary; Reader goes to visit her boyfriend, Klaus but finds Klaus in bed with somebody else.

A/N; The apocalypse didn’t happen in this fic. The reason why I didn’t make Klaus “cheat” on the reader with Dave is since I can’t get mad if Klaus went with Dave since it was war! And you need someone so I would understand that.

Trigger warnings; Sad but with a happy ending. 

You were standing in front of the Umbrella Academy opening the gate. You had texted Diego to ask where Klaus had spend the night. Diego had answered that he had seen Klaus walking around in the umbrella academy, and thus here you were.

You knocked on the door, waiting for the front door to be opened. A couple minutes later the front door opened and the smile of Grace greeted you. ‘Hello, Grace.’ You said with a smile. ‘Hello (Y/N), Klaus is in his bedroom but I haven’t seen him awake yet. ’

Grace took a step aside, letting you in. ‘Thank you Grace.’ You said with a soft smile. ‘Can I make you something? Thee or breakfast? I’m afraid we don’t have any coffee.’ She asked you and you shook your head. ‘No, I’m fine. Thank you. But I think Klaus would love some breakfast later.’ You said and Grace nodded. ‘I’ll get right to it then.’ She said walking towards the kitchen.

You started walking towards the bedrooms, seeing Klaus his door closed. You quietly opened the door, wanting to surprise Klaus. You saw Klaus laying on his stomach, his leg sticking out under the covers. You took a step forward, but your foot hit a vodka bottle making it roll into the room. You let out a sigh.

You walked towards the bed, and placed your hands on Klaus his shoulder. ‘Klaus? Klaus?’ You shook your boyfriend awake. Klaus’s body slowly started moving, but then something started moving next to Klaus too.

‘Klaus! What the hell!?’ You yelled at him when you saw a blond woman come out from under the covers. She looked around and saw you standing there, a look of shock on her face. Klaus had quickly woken up from your yelling, shooting up from the bed.

‘Shit (Y/N)!’ He said and he turned around looking at the woman. Only now did you noticed that Klaus was only wearing his boxers while the girl was naked. All the anger inside your body turned to ashes, making a place for calmness. You placed your hands on your hips. ‘Explain.’ You sneered at Klaus.

‘(Y/N), this is Mercedes.’ Klaus said waving his hand at the woman, Mercedes. Of course, ofcourse she had a name like that. ‘Mercedes, would you be so kind as to leave me alone with my boyfriend?’ You asked, plastering a fake smile on your face.

‘Boy-boyfriend?’ She asked surprised, and she turned to Klaus. ‘You said you were single!’ She said frantically, climbing over Klaus to get out of bed. She quickly pulled her clothes back on. Just before she left she turned to you. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.’ She said but you held up your hand, and then let it fall down again.‘Goodbye Mercedes.’ You said and she quickly left.

‘(Y-Y/N) I’m so-,’ You turned towards him and held up your hand again. ‘You cheated on me?’ You said calmly, but the tears were forming in our eyes. ‘(Y/N), I didn’t mean too. Yesterday I had taken a bath and my high was wearing off, so I started...seeing things again. I just had to take soms pills, but I may have also had some whiskey with that.’ Klaus started to explain, falling silent as to think about how to explain the next part.

‘So you got to high didn’t you? You were high and drunk. And let me guess you went out and met Mercedes.’ You guessed and Klaus nodded and stood up. ‘Yes, exactly! I was drunk and high, very high so you can’t hold me accountable.’ Klaus said looking at you.

‘And you just happen to forget you have a girlfriend waiting for you? And you didn’t think about how she would feel if she found out?’ You asked looking at him, he was silent. ‘Would you have even told me?’ You then asked softly. Klaus remained silent, looked at the ground and then shook his head.

You let out a strangled laugh, went with your hands over you face. “I can’t do this anymore.” You mumbled. ‘What did you say?’ Klaus asked carefully. ‘I said, I can’t do this anymore.’ You said louder, looking him in the eye. A tear went down your cheek but you paid no attention to it. ‘I have been patient enough with you with your drugs and alcohol abuse. Other people would have already left you by now, but here is where I draw the line. No more Klaus, no more.’ You said, tears streaming down your face at the end of your little speech.

“Please don’t cry. Do anything but cry.” Klaus set taking a step closer but you took a step back. ‘Please, (Y/N) I can’t live without you.’ Klaus said, his voice sounded broken. ‘Please don’t leave me.’ He begged her. You were silent for a while. ‘I need to think.’ You said and then you ran out of the room.

***

Klaus finished his story and looked around his therapy group. ‘It has been a week and I still haven’t heard anything from her.’ Klaus sighed. Everybody looked at his hand, taking Klaus his story in. ‘No opinions? No advice from anyone?’ He asked looking around the group.

‘When you cheat on someone, you’re telling them they’re not good enough for you.’ A woman, Klaus believed her name was Susan, said. She was sitting across from Klaus in the circle. She was first looking at her hands, but was now staring straight at Klaus.

Then Klaus was reminded of why Susan was in his therapy group. She had found her husband, who she had a relationship with for 20 years in bed with another woman. It turned out he was having a secret affair for 5 years with her best friend.

‘You’re basically telling them you never loved them. You may beg to differ but how can you put someone you truly love in such a position? To make them doubt there self-worth. To make them question everything they thought they knew about you? To make them believe that their trust was completely misplaced?’ Susan said, Klaus knowing that it was also a little bit about their relationship.

‘But I was as high as a kite, and to drunk to even walk. It was just a mistake.’ Klaus tried to defend himself. Susan stood up angrily. ‘Cheating is not a mistake. If you truly love someone, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved ones lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off for someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to it’s soil. Cheating is a choice, it’s a choice you made because you obviously don’t give a single fuck about your relationship.’ Susan screamed at Klaus. ‘I have been listening to your stupid stories for almost a year now, and you always sound so fond of this girl. But if you truly loved her you wouldn't cheat on her. Sober, drunk, high it shouldn't matter. ’ Susan finished sitting down again.

Klaus stood up. ‘I have somewhere to be.’ He said and he stormed off.

***

You were in your sweat pants, sitting on the couch watching FRIENDS when your doorbell rang. You slowly walked towards the door, and opened it. You eyes went wide when you saw Klaus standing before you, a single rose in his hand.

‘Klaus I,-’ You started but this time Klaus hold up his hand, the one with “Hello” on it. You wanted to laugh but the situation didn’t really let you. ‘Just hear me out, please.’ He looked at you begginly, so you nodded. You wanted to give him a chance.

He handed you the rose first. ‘I wanted to get you a whole bunch of them but I only had two dollars in my pocket.’ He said and he saw the corner of your mouth quickly shot upwards, but it came down just as fast. ‘Thank you.’ You said, looking at him expectantly.

‘(Y/N), you make me feel loved, protected, and taken care of. You make me want to be a better person, and I don’t ever want to live my life without you by my side. This week without you has been miserable. A wise woman said something to me today and just made me realise how much I fucked up. I love you (Y/N), and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life to prove just how much I love you. I know that you won’t be able to forgive me what happend, at least not for a long while but I gladly expect that punishment because I deserve it. I just want to ask you to be mine again, and I’ll be yours, till the end of time.’ Klaus said looking at you.

Your eyes went from Klaus to the rose, and back to Klaus again. ‘I used to think of you as somebody who would never hurt me, but I have decided to give you one more chance. One more chance. But it will come with some rules, mostly about your drugs and alcohol problem.’ You said and Klaus started to nod frantically. ‘Anything.’ He said taking a step closer.

‘I’ll have that kiss now then.’ She said and Klaus didn’t hesitate placing his lips softly on yours. You slowly pulled away and took a step back. ‘You may come in if you want.’ You said with a slight smile. ‘Oh, I can’t. I have therapy to get back to. I have somebody to prove wrong.’ Klaus said placing a kiss on your cheek and he was off again.

You looked at him from the distance and closed the door. You grabbed a vase from one of the cabinets and you placed the rose in the vase. You looked at the rose and grabbed one of the petals tearing it off. One more chance.

[ims-monbebe]

Hi love! I hope you're okay and feeling well. I loved you 1st mx reaction btw. Can I just get a mx reaction of when someone is hitting on you? For all members. Take your time thank you.

Hi love I’m so happy you enjoyed it! I’ll gladly do this for you thanks.

Reaction requests are open

Hyunwoo / Shownu

Honestly I feel like with Shownu… he’s so oblivious really he wouldn’t notice if someone was hitting on you right in front of him?? If he was like across the room and saw someone hitting on you he wouldn’t go up to you and make a huge scene. He would just laugh at the persons attempts and only step in if he saw you getting uncomfortable / if the person was getting too touchy just so he could tease you later about it lol.

“Come on Y/N admit it, you really needed my help with that one.”“Hyunwoo I was fine by myself you kinda just-”“You saw how I scared him away with my manly charms?”

“Jesus christ Hyunwoo.”

Hoseok / Wonho

We know this boy is a DRAMARAMA RAMA QUEEN (I’m fucking cringing at myself I’m sorry) ANYWAYS I know for a fact as soon as he saw someone being to touchy with you he’d stomp over there and cause a scene. He’d pull and drag you away while looking at the guy like he’s lucky that’s all he did. What is his is his, and if your his best believe no random guy was going to get any of that.

“You’re too beautiful for this world Jagi, I gotta protect you from the unpure intentions of it.”

Minhyuk

This boy I feel like it depends what day you catch him in for him to do anything about a guy flirting with you. He can either A, attack, or B just walk right up to you say hi to the guy and drag you away like nothing was happening. There’s probably no in between. For the sakes of being cute and fluffy I’ll go with scenario B lol. 

You are clocking out for work and this guy stops and is trying to get your number, you look around and see Minhyuk skipping from the parking lot right inside your job to pick you up for your planned date.

“I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t see him around.” The random stranger smiles.

“Hello jagi!” Minhyuk slams the door open while skipping inside. “Who’s your friend? Am I interrupting something? Hi! I’m Y/N’S boyfriend it was nice meeting you but we must go now bye!!”

He’d be smiling like this the entire time too istg lmaooo

Kihyun

With Kihyun, I feel like he’s more like Minhyuk but not as easy going as he would be in his scenario B. He would walk up and introduce himself, but be a big time shit head about it. Istg. He would just stare him down and nod his head like he’s hearing the best story of his damn life if he came around and saw someone hitting on you. He wouldn’t be jealous or try to fight the guy. He would just find it so funny probably.

“Kihyun, you didn’t have to be that mean to him.”

“What? Y/N you really care? Come on, it was funny. You had to let the guy down sometime.”

“I know but did you really have to knock his coffee out of his hands and have it land all over his shoes?”

“Hey, he started it when he said your boyfriend is kind of short alright? It was self defense.”

Hyungwon

Hyungwon would be a little jealous. He couldn’t help it deep within himself because he cares so much about you. But he couldn’t blame others for wanting you, you were too damn beautiful. If he saw a guy flirting with you, he had to go up to him and make sure that everyone knew you were his girlfriend and no one else’s.

“You’re so beautiful, how does a girl like you stay single?”

“I um-”

“Hey beautiful!” Hyungwon runs up to you and kisses you smack on the lips, he turns around and looks the guy dead in the eyes. “Oh I’m sorry Jagi, I didn’t realize that you had a little friend around. Let me introduce myself, hello I’m the boyfriend.” 

Jooheon

Jooheon, where do I begin with this big sensitive boy? I feel like he’d be very jealous compared to his older members. If he saw a guy flirting with you, he’d duck and dip in a crowded room to run right to your side ready to throw missiles. He does not play any games. 

“Jagi, who’s this?”

“He’s just someone I work with.”

“Oh really? That’s cool, that’s cool. What’s your name?”

“Jooheon plea-.”

“You know Y/N’S my princess right? I’ll break your teeth right now if you try any funny business with her.”

“Jooheon, for fucks sake!”

“What? I was just making sure he knew.”

Changkyun / I.M

Changkyun… help this boy. He would probably let the whole thing play out before attempting to make his presence known. He would watch in the back grinding his teeth at how the guy laughed at everything you were saying. 

“Oh Jagi!” Changkyun called out to you. “What are you doing? You got our drinks like 5 minuets ago.”

“This nice guy was just telling m-”

“No no no Y/N you don’t need this random stranger helping you out, you got me. Rely on me.”

“Changkyun! He was just trying to help me by saying what movie he thought was better to go see today with you.”

“Oh.” *nervously laughs* “I knew that.”

[eb17021993]

6th May 2021

Once again I woke up to your face. We again cuddled. You facing me, a hundred things going on in my mind. Too many thoughts, too many voices. Can't breathe as my heart rises. I kissed your nose, can't rmmber next but, u went out for ur morning sesh. I thought to myself I should have done it before she had it "there goes another chance and agn whn she comes bck she's alrdy had one"

You came back from ur sesh and flopped down while I sat up with my back on the headboard, arms crossed. I began to observe while you just lay there for couple minutes of not moving so I come closer and stroke your hair gently, you demanded a head massage which I gladly obliged. You positioned yourself in between my now crossed legs while I am trying to catch my breath hoping tht you wouldn't hear my heart pounding.

Few moments later, my hands were doing few things to your head. Caress your face, your eyebrows, nose cheeks, ears. Gripped your hair to release some built up tension. Slightly pressed both of ur temples.. Wrapped my hands on the side of ur neck. Run my hands behind ur ear and burried my thumbs onto tht dent just by the outline of ur jaw..

I know wht I'm doin.

Your eyes closed while making gentle mixed noises of satisfaction and comfort. Deep intake of breaths, sighs of relief, sweet little moans. I love how you're reacting to my touch. But I kept staring at your lips. I could not handle it anymore.

Still thinking deliberately, hundreds of thoughts all at the same time, doing my best to stay calm. I was too nervous cos they were all up outside, we both can hear them all tlkn as our door was slightly opened but bein blocked by the toilet door.. I was panicking cos I know wht I'm abt to do. But then I told myself tht I don't want to wait anymore. "Oh fuck it!"

As I braved myself and pulled your chin up. You wondered wht's happened and took a look for a sec as I bent my back down, dived in, eyes closed, pressed my lips onto yours, held your cheek and jaw. Then you kissed me back. I breathed in and smooched once, twice, thrice more. I pulled back to see you. You opened your eyes. I smiled at you as you did too. Looking at you straight in the eyes, it will be forever ingrained in my memory how beautiful everything was tht moment.

I bent down once more and kissed you. Such sweet gentle kisses. Then kised your nose and ur forehead and pulled away and smiled agn while maintaining eye contact.

'I've been wanting to do tht ever since the beach. But, you were too drunk"

'Oops. Sorry'

'Just couldn't handle it no more cos if I didn't do it now, it felt like I would've run away'

'You didn't want to have regrets'

'Mmm'

As you reached and held my face while still laying down. I petted your head.

'I've never been kissed upside-down for a vry long time. You were like spiderman' while making tht web hand gesture as you felt giddy.

I smiled as I felt proud you enjoyed tht little stunt I pulled which btw, I never expected it would've been like tht but I couldn't ask for more nor I'd have it any other way.

I knew you got shy cos you strted to ramble. My eyes weren't going anywhere. I kept staring. It seems like I forgot to look at anything except you. You do return my stares but you felt overwhelmed, maybe bcos of ur position. But one thing I loved is you didn't look away or turned away cos u got shy, u just simply closed your eyes and giggled as you couldn't handle everything all at once. And as u opened ur eyes agn I'm still looking straight into them doe-like eyes. Thn u'd smile like a little girl. And I'd smile back.

I noticed tht you were becoming a mess and playfully pointed it out.

'You're fidgeting, u're being nervous now'

'Yeah' to which u agreed definitely

'If I'm being too full of myself, I'd say you were coming on to me vry aggressively ever since. But I'm not' as I smirked diligently.

Tht's how I knew I'd taken my control over and have become aware tht all of my jitters disappeared when I had tht first kiss.

You got confused onto wht I meant.

'What do you mean by full of urself?' you asked

'If I'm being cocky' I explained

'You are cocky.' as I grinned more 'You have control over your emotions' you continued

'Oh I am very nervous. Everytime you touch me I get so nervous and don't know wht to do. It just doesn't seem like it'

And tht statement of yours made me realized, it wasn't a matter of control over you nor the situation but control over myself as you reassured me. But I couldn't help but tease a l'il bit more.

'You are nervous now, aren't you?' which earned me a sheepish smile from you 'It's okay. It's cute.'

You began to play a game where you'd cover my eyes and pretend my chin was my nose and asked me to speak and make faces. You said it was funny and weird. We laughed like fools. You kept touching my neck. I kissed both of your hands.

'You're beautiful'

'It doesn't matter. Looks doesn't matter.'

'I know. Still. You're beautiful'

Don't take it the wrong way. I ain't innit for your looks only. I believe I'm just lucky tht I get to look at your beautiful face in this lovely morning. But I said it like tht cos ever since we met, there's nothing but comfort between the both of us. No awkwardness. No set boundaries. No judgements. It's so easy to be around you. I evn let you touch my head. Not only my hair. But my head. I let you pat it, stroke it, scratch it. The only ones who I rmmber touching my head was my Mom, my father and my Mammoo. Some friends who took care of my hair had touch my head but not ths intimate. Not like family. No one else.

You asked me to switch places. Now I'm laying in your lap. Made me do to u wht u did just now.. You found it funny.. I find it amusing u're using it to hide ur shyness and I kept pointing it out.. So, to shake it off, I pulled u down to kiss me now tht I'm in ur previous position. We were facing upside-down. You were too tall to bend down and it proved to be tricky as u weren't tht flexible u said so I made more effort to reach you.

Kiss. Smile. Stare. Repeat. My heart tht was untameable for the last couple of days whn you get too close to me, is feeling very calm and at ease now tht we shared our first kiss in this lovely morning..

And the thing is... That was my proper first kiss... Perfect...

[akiyama-san]

I've noticed your comments about Love Live Sunshine and don't get me wrong, we all have our own opinions and I'm not telling you stop posting your negative thoughts about it, but why do you hate Love Live Sunshine so much? And if you hate it that much, why are you even watching it?

I suppose it comes off as hate doesn’t it? Well despite how it appears, it’s not entirely hate, it’s mostly disappointment, and while that might not sound much better i’ll try to explain what I mean, hopefully to a degree that it can be understood. 

Spose I should start at the top shouldn’t I? 

I think it goes without saying that this point that I didn’t like the original show at all, it had its moments, and 2 or 3 good characters, which isn’t saying much I realize but these casts are fucking bloated of course only a handful will be likeable. The concept seemed really fucking stupid from the outset, and it is, but I’ve seen worst, and as a first attempt by SunRise for an Idol show, to my knowledge, the idea to give it an actual plot to follow was in theory a noble one. It failed completely, but the thought was there. More to the point, almost everyone was completely flat, incredibly stupid, and beyond insufferable. 

I’ll be honest, I can put up with a lot, and if I had chosen to watch it of my own volition I’d probably have been more forgiving of the writers dancing on active fault lines, but at the time some years back, I had several people breathing down my neck to watch the fucking show so I went in pissed off. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t change the fact that these characters say and do things that would make me want to hurt a small child, but I would still have been more kind to it in the long run. 

Then the movie happened, and well.... Lets just say the series needed the fucking soft reboot that was Sunshine after that abysmal travesty of a movie that completely deficated on a third of the casts character development. I’m still trying to work out the quantum fucking mechanics of how Honoka could receive her microphone from her future fucking self BTW. 

I openly admitted this at the time, and this is important because this is often overlooked by the crowd. I said that after the failure of the movie, and knowing that a new series was coming, if SunRise could learn from their mistakes, then I would gladly and open-mindedly go into Sunshine with a positive attitude and be kinder to it if the series was able to escape its charred charcoal burned roots. 

Needless to say I was absolutely blown away by how incredibly Sunshine could be at times, and how baffling disgusting and incompetent it could be as well. I stress that Sunshine is wholly the better property I was able to enjoy more than whole episodes and character arcs completely this time around, as opposed to the original where I enjoyed maybe 10 minutes of its total 700 minute run from episode 1 to movie credits. 

The series had incredible characters to start, those already good characters ACTUALLY GREW INTO EVEN BETTER CHARACTERS, THESE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY GROW AND MATURE AND THAT’S INCREDIBLE. I’ll say openly that the second years are some of the best characters I’ve seen in any anime in the past several years, and I would never hope to take away from that. Better was that we actually had rivals that we could see and understand, that weren’t placed on a pedestal for no discernable reason, one that stood on relatively even ground that could be combatted in real time, force growth and change upon both groups. 

At the same time, while the series had heights and feats that rivaled Everest, it also had lows that would put the Mariana Trench to shame. No, I don’t care what anyone says, I will never get over all the bullshit that happened between Mari and Kanan, and how absolutely disgusting Kanan is, even now, refusing to grow up or stop being a cunt or do anything of value to the group you so claim to love. I’ll be generous and say I was fucking disgusted by SunRise repeating what happened with Honoka and Kotori in the first season here with Mari and Kanan, almost beat for beat. It was terrible the first time, and suicidally bad the second time. 

To regain the focus, by then end of it while my opinions were of the mixed nuts variety with plenty of roasted salt, I still gave it a hearty recommendation because I thought it was genuinely pretty good, blue cuntveats notwithstanding. 

NOW

Where my problem overall with Season 2 lies. If it disappointment and wasted potential were a physical force this series could level mountains. 

From the beginning we’re told that we’re on an incredibly strict time crunch and that we need to focus all our efforts hardcore in the second round. 

Only for almost literally all of the first 6 or 7 episodes to be nothing but filler and padding to waste time, where no growth or progression of any kind took place at all, and such wonderful gems as 

Dia: Please call me Dia-Chan.

Chka: No!

and the omnipresent 

Chika: Teach how to do a backflip

Kanan: Not on your fucking life!

Kanan: Oh shit she learned how to do the backflip... 

Where it all came to a head however was with the reveal of just how many students the school actually had, because that was something that was never brought up. The total number of students is 68 when all are accounted for. And the is beyond miserable. 100 fucking students isn’t enough, to maintain the school you need at least 200, but closer to 300. With 68 students the school should’ve closed fucking years ago. The revelation of that number killed the entire fucking show, it made moot the efforts and development of every single fucking character, because no matter what, even if they had gotten 100 students, this same predicament would still inevitably rear its head once again next year or the year fuckin after. 

I want to make clear, more than anyone else on this site, I have authority to speak on this matter, and no one can refute this, hell I’d barely even listen to them if they did because I severely fucking doubt they ever dealt with this sort of thing, if they did they would totally agree with me.

I have come face to face with a school closure myself. 15 years ago the district announced that my Elementary school would be closing, this school with 700 students that churned out some of the best results in the city might I add. It was a hard and long fought battle, it lasted 3 years, but eventually the parents won that war, and it’s still open now. How did they do that? By actually getting involved, going to meetings, talking directly to superintendents and comptrollers, explaining things like how some of them go to work really early or work late, they can’t send their kids anywhere else because they’d never be able to make it to other schools in the morning on time or pick up on time because of how far away they are, how different schools offer different programs, and not all schools offer the same accommodations for special needs children as this one did, ETC. The point is, the parents got active in the fight, the people that might have been able to affect the outcome did, and while it was no easy task, they did it, they actually fucking one that battle. 

I don’t expect even a fraction of that to occur, but to at the same time tell me that the parents don’t know or care at all, much less any of the other fucking 59 students are powerless to help in any meaningful capacity is an absolute load of horse shit. 

Where it started to bring my blood to a boil, nay to a bursting point, was what happened in the last to episodes with Saint Snow. The best song the franchise ever gave us was Self Control, followed by Shocking Party. This is a fact. From a single interaction some of the most intriguing and likeable characters we got were also Saint Snow. For them to be all but ignored in season 2 until 8 fucking episodes in is ludicrous, but for their first appearance in over 10 episodes to be them failing a concert and us not even getting to hear any of the fucking song, is insulting, it’s infuriating, it’s domestic abuse. This isn’t a slap in the face, this is Studio SunRise forcefully shoving their cock in your mouth against your will and punching you in the eyes with brass knuckles for crying about the cock in your mouth. 

Honest to God, if I wasn’t committed to seeing this through, these last two episodes would be my first set my merchandise on fire moment, and that is saying a lot. It might sound like i’m being overdramatic, but honestly there are a lot of people that agree with me on this matter. 

I did a lot of thinking in writing this post and it took me the better part of an hour to write it. I still hold fast on my thoughts about the original, 2/10 garbage. 

I still hold to my opinions of season 1 Sunshine, 7/10 very good. 

But this season? Well let me put it this way, I score every episode and tally the scores at the end, if season one got a 70 percent

Season 2 probably wouldn’t even reach a combined 20/130 

I will still recommend newcomers to Sunshine season 1 absolutely, but I will also absolutely tell them to pretend season 2 never happened, do not watch it because it will make you commit homicide in the aftermath. 

Why do I hate Sunshine Season 2? 

Because SunRise finds new and exciting ways to fail at absolutely everything on every single level every week. I infamously gave the movie a 1/10, in the long run, I think I would sooner rewatch that movie on loop than ever rewatch this season of Sunshine ever again. 

[treeplays]

spoilery Batman: The Telltale Series thoughts below….

With the Wayne family plot twist I like that they’re doing their own thing and not just rehashing for the billionth time. But at the same time they kindof… are… just rehashing for the billionth time. The only scene we have with young Bruce interacting with his family is this same scene we’ve seen every other Batman incarnation ever that everyone is sick of by now. So why not show other scenes in Bruce’s life with his parents or even give the player control over Bruce in these scenes? They drop the twist on you and then that’s just kindof it.. you see a tape w Thomas Wayne being evil and you hear from other people how he’s evil but that’s it. I actually WANT to feel invested here guys! It’s like with the other characters, I feel like I’m expected to automatically care about them just bc of who they are and not bc of actual interaction with them. Batman is hot for Catwoman bc she’s Catwoman, Bruce cares about Alfred bc he’s Alfred, Bruce broods about his family bc he’s Batman, etc etc etc. Like yeah ok I get it, but I want to care about THIS Alfred, I want to be conflicted about THIS Wayne family. And there wasn’t as much set-up as I’d have liked for the big moments to really matter as much as they should have.

I liked the thematic element of the Batman vs Bruce choices, also makes lots of room for divergence in the plot but then again they ran the risk of being repetitive by constantly repeating the same choice of Go as Bruce or Batman, and ofc we have the old problem of branches that don’t actually make a difference in the story. I’m probably repeating myself here but imo it’s fine and understandable for these types of games to be somewhat railroaded but the problem is when your “tailored” story is only actually “tailored” in one branch and super clunky and awkward in the other, it’s painfully obvious which route is the one the creators were expecting to you to take so the opposite route just feels purposely wrong. And I feel like this wouldn’t be a difficult problem to fix if closer attention was given to the flow of dialogue in relation to all previous choices and not just the one that the writers try prodding you into doing. (Which btw is a separate issue from bugs like Alfred chewing you out for supposedly beating up a guy you barely touched lmao. ughhhggggg)

And I’m a bit iffy on this repeat of The Wolf Among Us-style “good cop or bad cop” thing, I mean, it totally fits but it just feels so been there done that. And again irritating that just like in TWAU the game treats you like you’re being a ‘monster’ even when you’re not, regardless of whether it’s a case of bugged dialogue or just the feel of the plot in general. So by first episode’s end when I realized this was the road they were going down again where people are going to treat u like a baddie no matter what then I mean fuck it I’m going to brutalize the mobster anyway since that’s apparently the only valid choice, I just didn’t care anymore so it was just like screw this. And that sucks bc it just ruins the whole thing, the illusion of choice just gone and my investment goes completely down the drain.

I get that it makes for more drama or whatever and normally I would gladly comply, but not when the only difference is characters being pissy with you for a bit and then continuing on with no noticeable difference in the plot. In TWAU it worked better for me because there were situations where they make you genuinely WANT to give in and go the “bad/violent” route, but here it’s different. I don’t want to go around beating the shit out of mentally ill people lmao! Especially when it feels like TTG is actually putting more time and effort into villains’ tragic backstories than the terrible things that they’re doing right now. Idk maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention I just wasn’t convinced that these people I’m supposed to want to beat up are actually that bad, I guess I just didn’t see the evil things they did because the entire time I was po’d that there was no “Hey Oz has a point!” option. It’s like Telltale is expecting you to be so invested in the “I’m Batman” role that they expect you to step right into the grimdark beat-em-up version without giving you a reason to.

I guess I have to give credit where it’s due here tho bc I did appreciate that we can also be compassionate like telling Harvey to talk to his therapist and chances to empathize like in the scene with the Vale kid, the Episode 5 Harvey confrontation, and in the end battle. I guess it’s really Oz here that I’m mostly thinking of, they just didn’t give me enough to reason to resent him as much as it seems you’re supposed to and there are barely any options to be nice to him. He’s introduced as an old friend and the conversation goes fine but suddenly in the next episode I’m supposed to believe that he’s a terrible person and I hate him? It just feels odd especially since the Wayne family plot twist comes so early that you know he’s right the whole time and yet you’re supposed to be all offended that he’s badmouthing your family when he’s actually 100% correct????

I actually really like the idea of interacting with the Joker before the whole arch-enemies thing, him and Bruce meeting each other before they interact as hero and villain is an interesting dynamic and gives a lot of meaning to their potential future encounters. I didn’t especially mind the plot convenience there bc i Mean, he’s the Joker lol. Although I have to admit I kindof facepalmed at the fact that he’s still just hanging out in Arkham even though no one knows who he is or where he’s from lol. That’s Arkham for you I guess.

I found it weird how in episode 5 Catwoman’s “betrayal” is treated like some big reveal but then shrugged off immediately and she just hands back the device to you no problem. No fight or quick time event and it was just a repetition of their previous interaction I felt like it was more anticlimactic than anything tbh.

Also kindof odd how Harvey becomes Two Face even when you choose to save him. I’d assumed he would just get the scarring another way but instead he gets the behavioral issue without the actual look which is a little weird when at one point the tv reporter refers to him as Two Face even tho his face is fine lol. 

And there again, the issue with the “tailored” story being only tailored for one branch, all the foreshadowing indicates TWOFACE INCOMING or BATMANxCATWOMAN HERE so it just feels anticlimactic when that doesn’t happen, and the plot line continues on very similarly anyway so it’s just like ok what’s the point then? That imo is what Telltale needs to work on most here, making their multiple storylines more cohesive and not so obvious which works best and is intended as the ‘default’ or 'right' choice.

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 10 - "If the votes aren't Unan1mous, I'm going to die." - Maynor

what the fuck kind of alliance votes out two of my closest allies two rounds in a row, and doesn't even tell me their concerned or trusts me with their opinion.

alyssa and jess. jsyk.

Well, being completely blindsided doesn't feel good. I just want to make sure that I'm safe moving forward, and I'm feeling very upset about how this just went over. I'm so pissed at Jess and Alyssa for not saying anything. And even Aidan. Fucking Aidan said nothing. I need to look at this situation positively, but I honestly don't know what to do right now.

I guess I need to find a way to strike against Jess/Alyssa/Devon because they are the power trio right now... I just hate doing it because I love all three of them, but if I want any chance of winning at all, I kind of need to do that.

I probably need to start by making sure I have Aidan and Dani with me. Chelsea being on the wrong side and talking with me helps, and then I need to solidify my relationship with Jones and Maynor.

Maybe with all of those combined, I have a chance.

So tonight I fucked up harder than I EVER HAVE FUCKED UP IN A GAME BEFORE (and that's saying something). I've been going through a rough patch the last week and have probably gotten a total of 15 hours of sleep since Friday???? When I was on call with Devon/Alyssa I read something out loud Jones sent me and it mentioned the whole alliance with Alyssa/Jones. I'm hoping I fucking mumbled but Alyssa understood me so DEVON KNOWS. I attempted to play it off but I DON'T know. I just don't fucking know. I'm dumb. I feel dumb.

I'm just trying to build trust with people at this point. I feel like my game fell apart fucking HARD this round. I cracked at final 10. FINAL FUCKING 10. I'm not trying to get DOWN on myself but low-key this is probably why I don't win games lmfao.

I told Alyssa about the idol so I'm hoping this is a sign of trust. I don't know how I 1000% feel about telling her but here goes nothing I guess?

I was in a pretty decent position going into this round and then....until I literally set fire to the rain and fucked shit up.

My relationship with TJ took a hit. That's not going to be good in the future. My relationship with Maynor took a hit. That's not going to be good in the future. My relationship with Chelsea is fucked (but did we ever have any type of working relationship, not really). My relationship with Devon probably took a hit because of my own stupidity. My relationship with Alyssa took a hit when I was sipping on dumb bitch juice. My relationship with Jones is still a major question mark? My relationship with JD is as stable as I am currently and that's saying SOMETHING?

THAT'S LITERALLY ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING GAME WHO HAS SOME SORT OF ISSUE WITH ME?

Literally the only two people I didn't piss off or give reason to hate me is Dani/Aidan... and that's.... just fucking sad.

I destroyed my game and that's on me.

Time to pick up these pieces somehow and make them FIT.

Here is a Haiku about my game:

My game is a mess. I messed it up real bad. Jumping of a bridge.

okay so,,, I talked to Alyssa and Jess,,,,,,, and I understand,,,,,, like 80% where they're coming from? Jess told me she and Alyssa flipped because they didn't realize TJ and I came to them and said JD said Jess' name?? Jess went to JD and she said that Tim was the one who threw Jess' name out,,,,, and like,, they couldn't take my word for it when I said I trusted Tim, WHICH I UNDERSTAND that they didn't trust tim, but the fact that I told them how i felt and they just didn't listen to me bothers me.

like,, imagine this scenario,, would you take the testimony of someone who's in your alliance (albeit with some ulterior motives, but still in the alliance) and told their alliance (95% of) the truth,,, or someone who is never online and had been stirring up chaos and drama and was spewing shit this entire day just too keep their self safe? just answer that in the comments below thank you xoxo

so now that Alyssa and Jess know what happened on my end, and I know what happened on their end, we're both in agreement that JD has to FUCKING GO!!!! Tim was fucking robbed, i'm so espresso depresso you have no idea i'm so sad that Tim's gone. what a king,,, the creator of Jones' angels,,,,, robbedt,,,,,

we're rebranded as Tim's Angels btw jsyk <3

but ummm this fucking Unan1mous thing???? more like fucking BOOnan1mus amirite ladies hahahahahah ha h hah ah  um,,, hmm that joke sucked i'm so sorry. SO okay yeah,, Alyssa/Jess/TJ/Maynor agreed they'd vote for JD, and that they'd try to get the rest of the numbers to work for JD, BUT the problem is that if ANY ONE PERSON DOESN'T VOTE UNAN1MOUSLY,,,, they're safe. so we gotta get /everyone/ on board with this. hopefully Chelsea won't want to have like,,, revenge against Alyssa/Jess/Devon or anything sksksks

but ummmm let's hope for the best? I gotta get to school at 6:00 am and it's 2:00 am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's snoozeville for me. catch you on the flipside :p

I hashed things out with Devon last night because I was so pissed off about the vote, but I still have a lot of trust to rebuild. When i mentioned my name going around, Devon, Alyssa, and Jess knew that my name wasn't out there and still didn't let me in on the Tim vote. I was completely alone and had to make an alliance with the others out of desperation and tbh, i think I look like an idiot. But anyway, i think Devon and i are on good terms and I hope we can rekindle our old team that i was loyal and comfotable with since the beginning.

This might be a long one Johnny. I am so sad that Tim went home. I was shocked. I thought i was able to trust Jess, Alyssa, Devon but they all lied and now to me personally are dead to me. Like im still going to work with them until i have an opporunity to strike against them. Like Alyssa she’s great but now has to leaving sooner than later. Devon final 2 is dead, i would gladly vote you out but have to time it really well. Dani m Aidan dead even more but seems like they are worried about Alyssa Jess and Devon so might use them to take out Alyssa. But yeah last night was rough. I had this ‘thing’ happened to be that was triggered by this game and my class lab. It wasnt good. There was a dark low moment were i got a negative thought that I should just tell them to vote me out for unanimous week. My friend texted me and told me to think it thru and Im glad i didnt day anything. I still want to play and try to make it to the end. Only person i trust 100% with out a doubt is Jonesy. ❤️ Everyone else can leave. Except i also like TJ amd Jess.

I'm not sure where my vote will land tonight. If I vote JD, I lose a shield in this game. At the same time, if JD goes tonight in a 9-1, we start to build trust among those we previously blindsided.

If I make it an 8-2 or 8-1-1, then I'm worried that people will use the process of elimination to find out I flipped....

Another random note about tonight. If JD stays due to me, the next target becomes Chelsea.

Essentially, I am deciding between playing with Chelsea or JD....

Everyone is saying JD’s name like lets do this. But now everyone is afaid of an idol and i swear if the votes aren’t unanimous, im going to die.

If I get idol'd out in this format I AM FUCKING SUING.

I CAN'T GO OUT ON MY FIRST TUMBLR ORG IN A ROUND BASED ON A ZWOOPER GAME.

HOW FUCKING IRONIC WOULD THAT BE?

YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!

In all honesty I'm struggling hard this round. Idol's are so dangerous this fucking round. SO FUCKING DANGEROUS.

The mental gymnastics happening this round is insane.

I'm honestly having PTSD about this god damn format. The ONLY time I've ever cried because of a game was IN THIS FORMAT (thanks JOHNNY).

Today all I've done is try and repair relationships. I've worked harder than a hooker on a Tuesday today. I am exhausted. If I go this has been fun-ish.

I feel fuckig awful i worked too hard in this game to potentially get idoled out and that breaks my heart that that could happen tonight. apparently JD is writing down my name because she thinks i'm "Stubborn" and she wants to save me???? like if you wanna save me then like maybe don't vote for me?????? like i get the intent behind it with like,,,, the idea to save me but this is fuckin wit hme to my c ore . .Jess thinks JD's ly ing ad that she's voting for Jess, I just,,, fuck i really wanna die right noww yk i think i might be getting out there's like a 60% chance JD doensn't have an idol, and if she's comfortable enough then she wont play it. but there's a good chance I'll be going home. fukfalkdsfajsdads don't be surprised if i cry i'm just so upsetti/uncomfortable with the idea of going hope i tried too hard but um yeah

Wellp I’m really close with Aidan and so far I feel like we are doing really good. I feel bad because I lied straight to JDs face about voting jonesy. Instead I voted for her.

I'M DEFINITELY NOT CRYING OR ANYTHIGN FUCK