#loving someone who is in a committed relationship

[p0orbaby]

Why Do I Give You the Worst of Me (1)

summary: love and bad decisions collide as you struggle to balance a tour and a relationship that’s spiraling out of control

warnings: 18+ adult themes throughout

a/n: another series i’m hoping i don’t regret committing myself to… not sure how many parts it’ll be, i don’t plan anything

word count: 3.1k

-

You wake up face-first on a sofa that smells like cigarettes, spilled beer, and faintly, vomit. Not yours, you think. The synthetic fabric is scratchy against your cheek, and when you open your eyes, it takes a moment to realise it’s morning—sunlight cutting through the cracked blinds, striping the floor with dusty light. The sofa is mustard yellow, ugly in a deliberate, trying-too-hard-to-be-retro way. It doesn’t belong to you. Nothing in this flat belongs to you.

There’s a girl in the kitchen, humming softly to herself as she pours cereal into a bowl. You don’t know her name, but you know she wears Chanel No. 5 because it’s all you could smell last night when she leaned too close, whispering something you didn’t quite catch. Her hair’s a mess now—like spun gold caught in a tangle of barbed wire—but her makeup is still pristine. She’s the kind who sets her eyeliner with setting spray before going out, even if it’s just to the pub. You admire the commitment, if not the execution.

Your head throbs—a deep, insistent ache behind your eyes that reminds you of last night in bits and pieces: the gig (decent, though the sound guy fucked up your monitor levels), the afterparty (loud, sweaty, a haze of bodies and smoke), the lines of coke on a chipped coffee table, the bartender who kept giving you free shots because he recognised you from that NME interview last month. At some point, someone tried to fight you, though you’re not sure why. You vaguely remember smashing a bottle of tequila against a wall and laughing as glass shards rained down like confetti.

You roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling, which is peeling in a way that suggests years of neglect, a building held together more by stubbornness than actual structural integrity. There’s a stain in the corner that looks suspiciously like mould, but you don’t care enough to investigate. The flat isn’t yours, after all. You were invited here by someone whose name escapes you now—a bassist from another band, or maybe it was their girlfriend? They’re gone this morning, anyway, leaving behind only the detritus of a night well-lived: empty bottles, crushed cigarette packets, a single black stiletto abandoned near the door like a fairy-tale gone wrong.

You light a cigarette, despite the pounding in your head and the fact that you’re pretty sure it’s technically illegal to smoke indoors here. The girl in the kitchen glances at you but doesn’t say anything. You’re not sure if she’s annoyed or indifferent; you don’t care. The smoke curls lazily toward the ceiling, and for a moment, you let yourself enjoy the quiet. Mornings like this are rare—where everything is still and soft, where the chaos of your life is temporarily held at bay by the thin walls of someone else’s flat.

Your bass is propped up against the armchair, scratched and battered in a way that tells a story if you care to look closely enough. It’s a Fender Precision, black with a white pickguard, the same model Sid Vicious used to play—not that you’d ever admit that’s why you bought it. The neck has a gouge near the third fret from when you threw it at a sound tech who deserved it (and missed). The strap is leather, worn smooth where it rests on your shoulder, and the bridge still has flecks of blood from the time you played so hard your fingers split open mid-song. You keep meaning to clean it, but you never do.

You check your phone, which is cracked and sticky with something you don’t want to identify. No new messages, except for a text from your drummer that reads: “u alive?” You don’t bother replying.

-

You’ve been in the band for five years now, though it feels longer. It started as a joke—a group of friends fucking around in someone’s garage, trying to see who could play the loudest, the fastest, the most obnoxious. Somewhere along the way, it became serious. There was a DIY EP, recorded in one manic weekend on borrowed gear, and a string of gigs in dingy pubs where the audiences were more interested in drinking than listening. Then came the break—a slot supporting a bigger band, one of those industry darlings who’d already started to hate themselves for selling out. The kind of band that wears matching outfits ironically, even though everyone knows it’s not ironic at all.

Now, you play sold-out shows to crowds who scream your lyrics back at you, though most of them probably couldn’t name your second album. Your face has been on the cover of Kerrang! twice, though you didn’t bother reading the articles. You hate interviews, but you do them anyway because your manager insists. You’re better at the photoshoots—smirking at the camera in a way that suggests you don’t care (you do).

The band is your life, though you wouldn’t call it that. Calling it your life makes it sound like you have some sort of plan, and you don’t. You’re just here, playing gigs and writing songs and doing whatever it takes to keep the wheels from falling off.

Your bandmates are a mixed bag of personalities, each one a walking caricature in their own way. There’s Matt, the drummer, who swears he’s been abducted by aliens and won’t shut up about it. Alex, the lead guitarist, is constantly high and insists on bringing his cat on tour, which you find deeply annoying. And then there’s Holly, the singer, who somehow manages to be both the most chaotic and the most responsible member of the group. She’s the one who organises rehearsals, books the studio time, and keeps you all from self-destructing entirely. You love her for it, even if you’d never say it out loud.

The girl in the kitchen finishes her cereal, rinses the bowl, and leaves without saying goodbye. You watch her go, not because you care but because there’s nothing else to do. When the door slams shut, the flat feels even smaller, like the walls are pressing in on you. You stub out your cigarette, grab your bass, and leave too.

-

Outside, London is already alive, though you wouldn’t call it awake. The streets are sticky from last night—spilled pints and kebab wrappers crushed into the pavement, cigarette butts floating in puddles of something that smells suspiciously like piss. The air has that distinct urban flavour: exhaust fumes mingling with fryer grease and the faint tang of wet concrete. You pull your leather jacket tighter around you, not because it’s cold (it is), but because it completes the look.

The jacket is vintage—or at least you tell people it is. In reality, you bought it at a high-street shop three years ago, and it’s held up surprisingly well, considering the abuse it’s endured. The lining is torn, the cuffs are frayed, and there’s a mysterious stain on the back you can’t quite place. But it’s yours, and it feels like armour. The boots, on the other hand, are real vintage: a pair of Dr Martens from the ‘90s you found in a thrift shop in Brighton. They’re scuffed to hell, and the left one squeaks when you walk, but you refuse to replace them because they’re authentic.

You head toward the Tube station, your bass slung over one shoulder like a soldier carrying a rifle. People stare, but only briefly. In London, no one has the energy to care for long. The morning commuters are a mix of suits and students, their faces blank, their eyes glazed over as they clutch takeaway coffees in one hand and their phones in the other. You feel out of place but also weirdly superior, like you’ve cracked some code they haven’t even realised exists yet.

You hop on the Northern line, ignoring the signs that politely request passengers to “refrain from eating or drinking.” You’re not eating or drinking, but you do pull out a cigarette, which is arguably worse. It’s a roll-up, so you convince yourself it doesn’t count. An old woman glares at you, clutching her handbag like she thinks you’re about to mug her. You offer her a crooked smile, which she does not return, and you put the cigarette back in your pocket because she reminds you of your nan.

The train screeches into motion, and you pull out your phone. The lock screen is a photo of your bass, which says a lot about you. There are a few notifications—mostly spam emails and an unread message from Holly: Rehearsal at 2. Don’t be late, dickhead.

You glance at the time. 11:47 a.m. Plenty of time.

-

The rehearsal space is in Camden, a dingy basement that smells of mildew and unwashed socks. The walls are lined with egg cartons painted black in a half-hearted attempt at soundproofing, and the floor is sticky for reasons you’d rather not think about. The room has seen better days—probably in the ‘80s, when it was still a nightclub and not a haven for struggling musicians. There’s a single fluorescent bulb overhead that flickers ominously, and a space heater in the corner that’s never worked.

Holly is already there when you arrive, tuning her guitar with the precision of someone who takes this far more seriously than you do. She’s wearing a denim jacket covered in patches for bands you’ve never heard of, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She looks up as you walk in, her expression equal parts exasperation and relief.

“Christ, you smell like an ashtray,” she says, wrinkling her nose.

“It’s called branding,” you reply, dropping your bass onto the floor with a thud.

Matt and Alex show up ten minutes later, looking even worse than you do. Matt has the kind of face that always looks slightly hungover, even when he’s not, and Alex is wearing the same shirt he wore yesterday, now with an impressive new stain across the front.

The rehearsal starts late, as it always does, and quickly descends into chaos. Matt insists on playing a drum solo during every song, despite the fact that no one asked for it. Alex keeps stopping mid-riff to check his phone, claiming he’s “waiting for an important call,” though everyone knows it’s just his dealer. Holly shouts at both of them until her voice cracks, then turns her frustration on you for being “completely fucking useless.” You take it in stride, plucking random notes on your bass and pretending to care.

-

At some point, Holly storms out, leaving the three of you to your own devices. Matt immediately pulls out a joint, which Alex lights with a lighter shaped like a naked woman. You lean back against the wall, your bass resting against your thigh, and watch as they argue over which fast-food place to hit up after rehearsal.

“McDonald’s is closer,” Alex says, taking a drag.

“But KFC’s got the gravy,” Matt counters, waving his arms for emphasis.

“It’s not even real gravy,” Alex snaps.

“None of it’s real,” you interject, flicking ash onto the floor. “We’re all just cogs in the capitalist machine.”

They stare at you for a moment, then go back to arguing.

-

By the time rehearsal ends, it’s dark outside. You pack up your gear, ignoring Holly’s death glare as she reminds you for the millionth time that you need to take this more seriously. You nod, mumble something about “artistic integrity,” and leave before she can yell at you again.

Back on the street, the air is crisp, the kind of cold that bites at your skin and makes you wish you’d brought a scarf. You light another cigarette, even though you’ve already smoked half a pack today, and head toward the pub.

The pub is your sanctuary, a place where time slows down and the only thing that matters is the next round. It’s a dive, the kind of place where the carpet sticks to your shoes and the jukebox is permanently stuck on a rotation of The Clash and The Smiths. You know the bartender by name, though you’re not sure if he knows yours.

You order a pint and settle into a corner booth, your bass case propped up beside you. The first sip is like a warm hug, washing away the stress of the day. You’re halfway through your second pint when you see her.

-

You don’t notice her at first. Not properly. She’s part of the blur—the dim bar lights catching on glasses, the low hum of half-drunken conversation, the vague sense that you’ve been here before even if you haven’t. She’s leaning against the counter, waiting for her drink, and it’s not until the bartender—a man whose name might be Pete but who you’re pretty sure is just “Oi, mate” to everyone who comes in—hands her a gin and tonic that you actually see her.

And it’s a gin and tonic. Not a lager, not a rum and coke, not something ironic like a snakebite or one of those craft beers with names like Hops and Robbers. It’s a G&T, clean and crisp, with a slice of lime balanced on the rim like it’s posing for a stock photo. The glass is crystal clear, and so are her nails—short, practical, painted the sort of soft pink that suggests she doesn’t chew them during stressful moments (unlike you). She takes the drink with both hands, like she’s steadying herself, and there’s something about that—the deliberateness of it—that hooks you.

You tell yourself you’re just looking because she’s there. Because it’s either her or the guy at the next table who’s been droning on about Bitcoin for twenty minutes straight. But it’s more than that. There’s a stillness to her, an odd kind of clarity that doesn’t fit in a place like this, like she’s wandered in from a parallel universe.

She turns slightly, and you catch her profile: sharp nose, strong jawline, cheekbones that could cut glass but probably wouldn’t because she seems far too polite. Her hair is blonde—not platinum, not peroxide, but the kind of natural gold that makes you think of expensive shampoo and childhood summers. It’s tied back loosely, wisps framing her face in a way that seems accidental but probably isn’t.

She’s not wearing makeup. Or maybe she is, but it’s the invisible kind—the kind that takes forty-five minutes to apply but looks like you’ve just rolled out of bed looking flawless. Her jumper is navy, oversized enough to suggest she might have nicked it from someone else’s wardrobe, paired with jeans that sit perfectly at her hips without being skinny. On her feet are white trainers—clean, like freshly ironed bedsheets—Adidas, the classic three stripes in black, laces tied neatly, no fraying ends.

You’re staring. You know you are. But she hasn’t noticed, so it doesn’t count.

The bartender mutters something to her, and she laughs. Not the loud, performative laugh you hear from most people in bars, but something softer, like it’s meant for her and her alone. The sound is so out of place in this dingy pub that it feels almost sacrilegious, like someone’s brought a cathedral choir to sing in a nightclub.

You tell yourself to look away. You don’t.

Instead, you light a cigarette, even though the pub is strictly non-smoking. You do it for the aesthetic, the same way you do most things. There’s a half-empty pint in front of you—lager, flat and warm, probably with someone else’s fingerprints on the glass—but you take a sip anyway, because what else are you going to do?

She turns then, her gaze sweeping the room, and you’re caught like a deer in headlights. For a second, you think she’s looking at you, but she’s not. She’s looking past you, at the dartboard on the wall behind your head. Her expression is curious, like she’s trying to figure out why anyone would bother playing darts in a place like this.

Then her eyes meet yours, and the world tilts.

It’s not love at first sight, not really. Love at first sight is for Disney films and Hallmark cards and people who shop at Waitrose without looking at the prices. This is something else. Recognition, maybe. Like you’ve seen her before in a dream or a half-remembered story someone told you once. Like you’ve spent your whole life waiting for this moment without knowing it.

She holds your gaze for a second longer than is polite. Then she looks away, back at her gin and tonic, and you realise you’ve been holding your breath.

-

You don’t approach her right away. That would be too obvious, too predictable. Instead, you wait, watching her out of the corner of your eye while pretending to scroll through your phone. It’s a shitty phone, cracked and outdated, but you’ve never bothered upgrading because you secretly enjoy the low expectations it sets. No one looks at you and expects success when your phone screen is held together with Sellotape.

She moves to a table in the corner, near the radiator, and sits down alone. No book, no laptop, no visible excuse to be here other than the gin and tonic in her hand. She sips it slowly, methodically, like she’s savouring it. Like she’s savouring this.

You wonder what her story is.

Is she waiting for someone? A friend, a boyfriend, a clandestine meeting with a lover? Or is she just one of those people who can sit alone in public without feeling like a target? You’ve never understood that kind of confidence—the kind that lets you exist without an audience, without a role to play.

You take another sip of your pint, then decide, fuck it.

You stand, grab your bass (because leaving it behind would feel like abandoning a child), and make your way across the room. Your boots squeak against the sticky floor, and you curse them under your breath. She looks up as you approach, her expression unreadable.

“Mind if I join you?” you ask, gesturing vaguely at the empty chair across from her.

She hesitates, just for a moment, then nods.

“Sure.”

Her voice is soft, but not shy. Measured. Like she’s weighing every word before she says it.

You sit, placing your bass case carefully against the table leg. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You’re not sure what to say, and she seems content to let the silence stretch. It’s not uncomfortable, exactly, but it’s not easy, either.

Finally, she breaks it.

“You’re in a band,” she says, nodding toward the bass. It’s not a question.

You smile. “Yeah. What gave it away?”

She raises an eyebrow, and you realise it’s a stupid question.

“What’s the band called?”

You tell her, and she nods, like she’s vaguely heard of it but couldn’t name a single song.

“I’m Alessia,” she says, holding out her hand. Her grip is firm, her skin warm.

“Nice to meet you,” you reply, and for the first time in a long time, you actually mean it.

[crystallilytarot]

Choose a cup! What will your future spouse regret about their past after meeting you?

Pile 1

They had a serious relationship, it probably didn't ended so well. They were in love, at least they thought they were back than, so it's not that they were a player, but still, they wish they didn't had that commitment to a person who seemed nice, but turned out they weren't so good as your spouse thought. I think they stayed in the relationship a little too long, they tried to save it, and they wish they breakup sooner, to meet you sooner at least. For a few of you, this can be a friend, someone you already know, and later they will wish they realized sooner that they have feelings for you, and they asked you out sooner.

Pile 2

Well, for some of you, this person was a little bit of a player, they were flirty. But it seems like they didn't wanted to hurt anyone, they just didn't know what they want, also probably didn't know how to express their feelings properly. For others, this person was confident, flirty, until someone brake their heart, I think it wasn't neccesseraly a relationship, but their crush was mean to them. Either way, they were young and didn't know better, but they regret it, also they changed and healed a lot after. But they still feel ashamed because of their past, and wish they could change it.

Pile 3

Either they spent a lot of time online and they dated a lot of people, but non of them were a good match. And after, in the end, you will meet in person, but maybe they don't just move on from online dating, but literally move to your city. So they wish, they stopped it sooner and tried to find you irl. For others, they never really tried online dating. They almost gave up, and one day, like a last chance, they will try it, and you will meet there. You probably live elsewhere, but they don't mind to even move to another country, because finally you will be like they imagined their partner. They wish they did it sooner.

[fromduck]

No Glory

(Yandere Gladiator x Empress Reader x Yandere Emperor)

Summary: There is no glory in seeing your lover in the arms of another.

(Tw: Gore, Violence, Forced Relationship)

A/N: Guess who watched Gladiator II, hehe 🤭

-unedited-

-The Emperor’s wife is an untainted beauty.

-Despite the blood and death on his hands, the Empress remains pure from his sins.

-With soft luscious lips and unblemished skin, kind doe eyes a beautiful color.

-Draped in white robes, with gold accents. White Gold jewelry adorning her frame. Pearls hanging from her ears and entwined in her hair.

-She has a beautiful smile and kind eyes. Willing to choose mercy over shedding blood.

-Unlike her cruel husband who relishes in it.

-Anyone blessed to be within her radius marvel at her presence. Even more so when she smiles. Be careful not to stare too long, the Emperor’s watching.

-The Empress is beauty incarnate a being coveted by all people. Adored by the citizens of Rome and boasted as the most beautiful woman in the world.

-And the Emperor is a lucky man. A lucky man indeed.

-There are whispers of her divinity and where the Empress hails from.

-Some say she was given to Rome to the Emperor as a gift from the Gods.

-Others argue that she herself is a Goddess who willingly married their glorious Emperor.

-None know the Empress’ origins.

-Except for two people.

-The brutal Emperor of Rome.

-And a Gladiator who knows too much for his own good.

-A man who waits for the next fight he’ll be thrown in. Where he’ll be fighting for his life.

-For the delight and entertainment of others.

-His life matters not, it never did.

-Yet, when he wakes up, when he trains for his fights, and when he goes to sleep. He thinks of you. He lives for you.

-He knows the truth.

-You don’t belong to the Empire of Rome. Or that bastard Emperor.

-You belong to him.

-You were his long ago. When he wasn’t a war broken man torn by the cruelty of others.

-In a land far away from Rome, you both once lived together at peace.

-He’d been a gentle man once. Someone who pined after you in your youths, who’d begged your father for your hand, and had cried when he married you.

-He loves you so much.

-He had never been one for religion but if there were any gods out there, he thanked them sincerely for the life they gave him. One with you.

-Then the Romans came. And they took everything.

-They came with a hunger for blood and conquest. Ready to plunder their lands and take over them.

- They killed his family, his friends, people he had known.

-They did it with bloodthirsty grins. And the one who led them was the cruel Roman Emperor who lived for the violence.

-He killed many while on his black stallion. His sword plunging into innocent people.

-Man or woman, the Emperor didn’t care. He demanded blood and blood he would get.

-It was horrifying the strength of the Emperor as he slaughtered those around him.

- Your husband watched as he committed atrocities.

-There was no mistake, with that monster there, his and your home would be overtaken.

-Him taken a slave to fight in the pits of violence at the Colosseum.

-And you made a slave, owned by someone as an object.

-No. he wouldn’t let that happen.

-Now all he had left was you. And he would die before anyone touched you.

-So he prepared his stallion, picked up your precious form and placed you on the horse. You looked at him with worried eyes, tears slipping down your soft cheeks.

-He’d only look at you with loving eyes. Cupping your lovely face in his large hands.

-He remembered your look of worry as you questioned where would you both go. Your sweet gentle eyes pleading as you made him promise to never leave your side.

-He promised that not even death would separate you both.

-Then, he’d been clubbed upside the head. Pushed to the floor as someone began beating him with an inch of his life. He tried to get up but then another one had shown up with club and struck him in the head.

-Both Roman soldiers jeered as they continued their violent onslaught. He’d almost seen double.

-But what stood out to him was your anguished face.

-Your shrill cries of agony rang out through the air as the love of your life was beaten to a messy pulp.

-The stallion had jumped, and pushed you off of its massive body.

-You tumbled to the floor, hitting your back violently.

-With no regard for any injury, you’d quickly jumped up and tried to stop the cruel soldiers from killing your love.

-You’d shove at them yelling out for them to stop. Though to no effect as your smaller form was no match for the might guards of the Roman Army.

-One of them had only sneered at you before delivering a backhand to your face.

-You fell on your side, your nose bleeding from the impact.

-You quickly got up and clung to a guards leg as you begged for them to spare your husband.

-They ignored you and continued their onslaught.

-Until the galloping of hooves.

-There the Emperor was like a sign of death as he rode his gigantic black stallion.

-Blood coated his face and armor. None of it his.

-The war was over, Rome’s victory assured.

-And yet the Emperor was left unsatisfied.

-So he went on the prowl for more victims. All until no one was left.

-He caught sight of his soldiers torturing a large man as his wife begged them to stop.

-Any honorable leader would have stopped his soldiers and given the couple a swift merciful death. No more suffering was needed from a war already won.

-But he was far from honorable.

-As he approached it wasn’t because he wanted to stop the violence.

-He was honed in on the soft crying and pleading of the woman.

-A sound so delightful that he couldn’t help but want to hear more.

-He got off of his mighty horse. His steps confident.

-But as you turned around to face him, he felt his breathe hitch, his steps waver.

-It was as if he was in the presence of Aphrodite herself.

-There you were with tears in your big eyes and blood dripping down your nose.

-Even in filthy peasant clothes, you were the most beautiful being he had ever laid his eyes on.

-He had to had you. And have you he will.

-His eyes narrowed at your injured face. The soldiers most likely the culprit.

- “Stop.” He commands, his word alone enough to halt the violence.

-With a sob you run to your husband as he lay on the floor. You place his head on your lap. Ripping a piece of fabric from your dress, to clean the blood on his face.

-Your poor husband looks at you with swollen eyes, barely focused. Your heart broke further.

-The two soldiers quickly turn around. Sinking onto their knees to properly greet the Emperor of Rome.

“My emperor.” They say in union.

-They cower under the glare of the Emperor.

-“Which one of you hurt the girl?”

-Both soldiers look at each other confused. They weren’t talking about the sobbing girl behind them, was he? The enemy?

-The Emperor’s glare becomes murderous. He draws his sword from his scabbard. It glints with the blood of his foes. But all know that his sword can just as easily kill who he pleases, friend or foe.

-It was at that moment, both the soldiers knew that whoever was guilty— they would be dead in the next second.

-So, both blamed each other, scrambling to have the Emperor believe them.

-“It was him my emperor, he was the one who hurt the girl—-”

-“Nay my emperor, he lies—”

-Both soldiers plead their innocence. But the Emperor isn’t known for his patience.

-With a brutal slash, he beheads the two soldiers.

-Their heads roll off their bodies.

-A huff of satisfaction leaves the emperor, soldiers who lie are not worthy of his army. He may not be honorable but he has no patience for lying snakes.

-He averts his gaze, to you, only to be meet with a puddle of blood. Presumably your husband’s.

-The emperor snaps his head to your quiet sobs. He sees you dragging the large form of your husband, his arm over your shoulder, his form barely moving.

-You both were trying to escape, this wouldn’t do.

-With large strides, he rips you away from your lover. The man falling gracelessly onto the floor. He tries to pick himself up but his strength is diminished. He could only watch as the Emperor, holds your hands and stares into your beautiful eyes in awe.

-He knows that look. That look of adoration as if in the presence of a goddess.

-Your husband holds the same look for you and now the Emperor does too.

-You try to escape but the Emperor’s grip is painfully tight.

-A whimper escapes your lips as the man gets down on his knees, his head bowed. He mimics the same loyalty his subjects would show him. But he is in the presence of a goddess.

- “The Gods have rewarded me by giving you to me.” He whispers breathlessly. “You are the one they have chosen for me. Rome needs an Empress. And I need a wife.”

-With the hunger of a man starved he yanks you down to him, grabbing you by the hair and devouring you into a brutal kiss.

-You cry out into the kiss, looking at your husband pleadingly to save you from the Emperor.

-But your husband is at death’s door, fighting and pleading Hades to not take him. For he couldn’t leave you to such a grim fate.

-The Emperor pulls away, his eyes filled with lust. He’ll have you, but not here in this filth.

-He picks you up a bridal style, taking you to his horse. Taking you to Rome.

-You try to fight him, but he only gives you a scolding glare. As if to say, ‘behave.’

-You cry quietly, looking at your husband’s dying form. The Emperor only sneers at him, spitting on his bloodied face.

-Your husband looks at the Emperor with rage. A rage that makes him shakily get up on his knees.

-Your hands are tied behind the Emperor’s neck, begging him to let you go. A smack to your thigh makes you shut your mouth.

-Once you’re both secured on the horse, the Emperor doesn’t even glance back at him.

-He rides off into the distance, with the blood of his people on his hands and the love of his life in tears.

-Your husband, a broken man, lets out a sorrowful scream. He promptly collapses onto his side, passing out. Pleading with the gods to not take him. He needed to save you.

-Later, he was dragged by his feet. Slave masters had found him. They bet on how much money the large man could make them.

-Him, a none violent man, was put into fighting rings were people placed bets on who would win.

-Your husband, a gentle man was turned into a former shell of himself with each blood shed that coated his hands.

-A man who once held you with tender hands was forced to use them to kill for the entertainment of others.

-He fought weaker men, stronger men, and terrific beasts. All who were in the same position as him. All for the entertainment of others.

-The life he was forced into would have broken others, but not him. Not when he was fueled by an anger. An anger for the Emperor who had taken everything from him.

-The hesitance he once had for killing became nonexistent with each fight. His worth as a slave becoming more and more valuable. And he was taken to more and more valuable places.

-Like a blood thirsty hound, he followed you. He was at the edge of death many times, yet he refused to part from you.

-He followed you to Rome, vengeful and angry. Many times he thought he’d die but once he made it to the grand city, he knew the Gods had given him another chance.

-He needed to be stronger for you. So that he would save you.

-His reputation as a vicious fighter spread throughout Rome. Many eager to see him in the Colosseum.

-And that’s where they took him.

-Now he stands in the arena, his heart beating erratically in his chest. Blood splattered on his face and armor. None of it his.

-There is no glory where he stands while his defeated opponents lay bleeding on the ground.

-There is no glory in the screams and cheers from the crowds. All chanting his name as he stands as the last man standing.

-There is no glory in his victories, where he gets to live another day.

-His eyes shift to where you sit in the grand seats of the Colosseum. You’re beautiful with your beautiful gown and jewelry. Yet you look at him with such sadness. As if he were another dream out of reach.

-His soft eyes harden when a firm hand grabs your soft one.

-The Emperor brings your hand to his lips, kissing it ardently.

-He doesn’t break eye contact with him as he does this. A clear claim of ownership over you.

-He grits his teeth.

-There is no glory when you’re trapped with that despicable man. There is no glory when you’re not his. There is no glory when the Emperor is still breathing.

-He returns the Emperor’s glare. Eyes hard with pure hatred and loathing.

-And for that, the Emperor must die.

[gatheringbones]

[“Some of us have, consciously or unconsciously, sworn an oath of loyalty to the god of revenge. Hate is rage stuck in the desire to retaliate. People who hate and retaliate have a frightened and tattered sense of self. The desire to retaliate when others offend us is ingrained in us from cave-people times. This is not a sign of moral degeneracy but a natural, automatic survival reaction to threat and abuse. Our work is to retreat from our primitive inclination and advance our natural evolution. We accept the givens of human nature while choosing not to act them all out. We become generously human when we find a way of expressing anger without hurting others. Such nonviolent resistance flows from higher consciousness rather than instinct, and it makes the world a more mindful, safe, and loving place. When we are adult, we can hold and experience apparently contradictory feelings or conditions. For instance, we can be committed to someone and maintain personal boundaries, have a conflict with someone and be working on it, feel anger and be loving. Regarding conditions, we can feel abandoned while we remain committed to showing love. In fact, we can go on loving in any predicament, a touching example of how our psychological work can adhere to a spiritual standard. To see others as good or bad is to split the world into those who evoke love and those who evoke hate. Internally, our love will feel like longing and our hate will hide our fear. When we become comfortable with anger we form an arc of connection that makes us feel that we are whole and that others are too. What propels and sustains us in intimacy is love that is comfortable with other feelings. Then anger is a normal and occasional reaction that never cancels love. Nothing can.”]

david richo, from how to be an adult in relationships: the five keys to mindful loving, 2002

[kleopatra45]

Sun in the Signs of Juno Persona Chart

Sun in Aries

If your Sun is in Aries in your Juno Persona Chart, you are attracted to partners who embody qualities of courage, initiative, and independence. You seek a future spouse who is adventurous, dynamic, and not afraid to take the lead. Aries Sun individuals are drawn to partners who share their enthusiasm for new beginnings, are passionate about their goals, and have a strong sense of individuality. You appreciate someone who is direct, confident, and values personal freedom. In a relationship, you thrive on spontaneity, excitement, and mutual respect for each other’s autonomy. A potential partner who challenges you intellectually and supports your ambitions while maintaining their own drive and determination would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Taurus

With the Sun in Taurus in your Juno Persona Chart, stability, loyalty, and sensuality are crucial qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are attracted to individuals who are grounded, reliable, and have a strong appreciation for the comforts of life. Taurus Sun individuals value security and seek partners who share their commitment to building a solid foundation for the future. You appreciate someone who is patient, affectionate, and values long-term stability in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on trust, dependability, and a deep emotional connection. A potential partner who values loyalty, enjoys the simple pleasures of life, and is willing to invest time and effort into nurturing a loving and stable relationship would resonate with your relationship ideals.

Sun in Gemini

If your Sun is in Gemini in your Juno Persona Chart, intellectual stimulation, communication, and versatility are key factors in your attraction to a future spouse. You are drawn to partners who are curious, witty, and have a lively mind. Gemini Sun individuals value mental connection and seek partners who can engage in stimulating conversations, share their interests, and keep up with their need for variety and excitement. You appreciate someone who is adaptable, social, and enjoys exploring new ideas and experiences together. In a relationship, you thrive on spontaneity, humor, and the ability to learn and grow together. A potential partner who values communication, respects your need for independence, and encourages your intellectual pursuits would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Cancer

With the Sun in Cancer in your Juno Persona Chart, emotional depth, nurturing qualities, and family-oriented values define your ideal partner. You are attracted to individuals who are compassionate, caring, and prioritize emotional connection in relationships. Cancer Sun individuals seek partners who value home, tradition, and creating a sense of security and belonging together. You appreciate someone who is sensitive, supportive, and understands the importance of emotional intimacy. In a partnership, you thrive on loyalty, empathy, and a deep emotional bond. A potential partner who values family, cherishes emotional closeness, and is willing to provide a safe and loving environment would resonate with your relationship ideals.

Sun in Leo

If your Sun is in Leo in your Juno Persona Chart, confidence, generosity, and passion are important qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are attracted to partners who have a strong sense of self, leadership qualities, and a warm-hearted nature. Leo Sun individuals value admiration and seek partners who appreciate their creativity, charisma, and zest for life. You appreciate someone who is expressive, loyal, and shares your love for romance and drama. In a relationship, you thrive on affection, mutual respect, and the opportunity to shine together. A potential partner who supports your ambitions, celebrates your successes, and encourages your creativity would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Virgo

With the Sun in Virgo in your Juno Persona Chart, practicality, intelligence, and attention to detail are key factors in your attraction to a future spouse. You are drawn to partners who are responsible, analytical, and have a strong work ethic. Virgo Sun individuals value efficiency and seek partners who share their commitment to personal growth, health, and well-being. You appreciate someone who is organized, supportive, and values honesty and reliability in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on stability, mutual respect, and the ability to work together towards common goals. A potential partner who values self-improvement, respects your need for order and structure, and appreciates your attention to detail would resonate with your relationship ideals.

Sun in Libra

If your Sun is in Libra in your Juno Persona Chart, harmony, fairness, and partnership are crucial qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are attracted to individuals who are diplomatic, sociable, and value relationships as a source of balance and beauty. Libra Sun individuals seek partners who appreciate art, culture, and have a refined taste for aesthetics. You appreciate someone who is romantic, cooperative, and values equality and compromise in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on harmony, mutual understanding, and the ability to create a sense of peace and balance together. A potential partner who values harmony, shares your sense of justice, and enjoys socializing and collaborating on creative projects would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Scorpio

With the Sun in Scorpio in your Juno Persona Chart, intensity, loyalty, and transformation are key factors in your attraction to a future spouse. You are drawn to partners who are passionate, deep, and have a mysterious allure. Scorpio Sun individuals value emotional depth and seek partners who are honest, trustworthy, and capable of facing challenges together. You appreciate someone who is loyal, committed, and values intimacy and authenticity in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on trust, emotional connection, and the opportunity for mutual growth and transformation. A potential partner who shares your intensity, respects your need for privacy, and embraces your desire for profound emotional and spiritual connection would resonate with your relationship ideals.

Sun in Sagittarius

If your Sun is in Sagittarius in your Juno Persona Chart, adventure, optimism, and intellectual stimulation are important qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are attracted to individuals who are adventurous, open-minded, and have a philosophical outlook on life. Sagittarius Sun individuals value freedom and seek partners who share their love for exploration, travel, and learning. You appreciate someone who is optimistic, generous, and shares your sense of humor and love for adventure. In a relationship, you thrive on spontaneity, growth, and the opportunity to explore new horizons together. A potential partner who values independence, respects your need for intellectual freedom, and shares your passion for expanding horizons would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Capricorn

With the Sun in Capricorn in your Juno Persona Chart, ambition, discipline, and reliability are crucial qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are drawn to partners who are hardworking, responsible, and have a strong sense of purpose. Capricorn Sun individuals value success and seek partners who share their commitment to achieving long-term goals and building a secure future. You appreciate someone who is patient, practical, and values tradition and stability in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on mutual respect, loyalty, and the ability to support each other's ambitions. A potential partner who values perseverance, respects your need for structure and achievement, and shares your dedication to personal and professional success would resonate with your relationship ideals.

Sun in Aquarius

If your Sun is in Aquarius in your Juno Persona Chart, innovation, independence, and intellectual connection are key factors in your attraction to a future spouse. You are attracted to individuals who are progressive, unconventional, and have a humanitarian outlook on life. Aquarius Sun individuals value individuality and seek partners who are open-minded, forward-thinking, and enjoy intellectual discussions and debates. You appreciate someone who is friendly, idealistic, and shares your interest in social causes and community involvement. In a relationship, you thrive on equality, freedom, and the opportunity to contribute to a better world together. A potential partner who respects your independence, values your unique perspective, and shares your vision for a more inclusive and progressive society would be highly appealing to you.

Sun in Pisces

With the Sun in Pisces in your Juno Persona Chart, compassion, sensitivity, and spiritual connection are crucial qualities you seek in a future spouse. You are drawn to partners who are empathetic, intuitive, and have a deep connection to their emotions and inner world. Pisces Sun individuals value creativity and seek partners who appreciate art, music, and have a mystical or spiritual inclination. You appreciate someone who is gentle, compassionate, and values emotional intimacy and connection in relationships. In a partnership, you thrive on empathy, imagination, and the ability to share dreams and aspirations. A potential partner who understands your emotional depth, supports your creative pursuits, and shares your spiritual beliefs would resonate with your relationship ideals.

[astrocafecoffee]

Mars in Groom persona chart 💍

💎💎 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY ENJOY 💎💎

~~~~~~~~~~~~~✨✨~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☄️ MASTERLIST

☄️ SUN , MOON , VENUS IN

GROOM PC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~✨✨~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💍 MARS IN 1ST HOUSE :

- your spouse might be naturally assertive, not afraid to take the lead and express their opinions. They may also have competitive edge, excelling in challenges or tasks that require quick action and leadership. Mars also rules physicality, so they may have an athletic or physically appealing body. Their energy might be contagious and they have a habit of taking physical initiative whether through sports, dancing or simply Being highly active. Very passionate spouse. They will not be passive but will have a deep emotional and physical investment in love, which will manifest in their actions and interactions. Although they are passionate, your spouse may also value their personal freedom and autonomy. This can sometimes create a push pull dynamic, but don't you worry they might crave space but are equally committed to the partnership. Any disagreements in the relationship will likely be direct and intense but mars influence suggests that there will be honesty and resolution afterwards. They will not hold any grudges or any negative emotions for long. You might feel a strong physical pull towards them and the attraction will be both physical as well as emotional, that's for sure. They are hard to resist.lol. their confidence will attract you more. They may be highly driven to achieve their goals. Also their protective nature may extend to you as their partner , especially when they feel that something or someone threatens the bond. They may take the role of defender , standing up for you and the relationship when necessary. Mars in 1st house, mars in Aries or in any other fire sign or fire houses could be significant in the natal chart of your spouse. (Not necessarily)

💍 MARS IN 2ND HOUSE:

- your fs are the kind of person who won't hesitate to take big chances when it comes to money or their future. They don't play it safe , they are all about jumping into opportunities with confidence and they often succeed because of their boldness. They'll go to great lengths to ensure their loved ones are taken care of especially when it comes to financial security. They want to make sure their family is safe and comfortable and they’ll put in the work to make that happen, even if it means taking on challenges that others might shy away from. Also one more thing, There’s a real physical energy to them. They could be the type who’s always on the move. It’s like they have an inner drive to keep their body strong and energized.They don’t beat around the bush. When they have something to say, it’s straight to the point, no sugarcoating. They’re not afraid to speak their mind, which can sometimes come off as blunt, but it’s always genuine. They’re not easily swayed by trends or other people’s opinions. They know what’s important to them, whether it’s family, money, or personal principles, and they’ll stick to it—even if it means clashing with others. Mars in 2nd house, mars in Taurus or mars in any earth sign or earth Houses could be significant in the natal chart of your spouse.(Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 3RD HOUSE :

-Your spouse will have tons of energy when it comes to speaking and sharing ideas. They’re quick to jump into conversations, often passionate and enthusiastic about their opinions and They won’t hesitate to speak their mind, and they’re not afraid of a little debate or argument if it means getting their point across.They’ll be someone who’s always busy, haha ,constantly running around, whether it’s working on projects, meeting people, or learning new things. They’re mentally active and love being on the go, so there’s never a dull moment with them around.also, They’re not afraid to explore new ideas or take mental risks. They’ll always be curious, asking questions, and looking for new ways to challenge themselves intellectually. Their mind is sharp, and they’ll push both themselves and you to think outside the box.They enjoy competition, even in small things like games, challenges, or arguments. Their quick thinking and sharp wit make them great at coming up with clever responses, and they’ll love a good mental challenge, whether it’s a debate or a puzzle. Sometimes, they might speak before thinking, coming across as impulsive or overly direct. But this honesty is one of the things that make them stand out.they don’t hide behind pleasantries. You’ll always know where you stand with them. Mars in 3rd house, mars in Gemini or any other Air house or air sign could be significant in the birth chart of your fs but not necessarily.

💍 MARS IN 4TH HOUSE :

- your fs will have a fierce drive to protect their home and loved ones. Family is everything to them, and they’ll go to great lengths to create a safe and secure environment. They may be passionate about home improvement or making sure their living space feels strong and stable.They won’t shy away from their emotions. Mars in the 4th house often brings out a deep emotional intensity. They’ll express their feelings strongly and may be very open about their desires and frustrations. They might get deeply invested in their family’s well-being, sometimes to the point of overprotection.Your spouse may have a deep connection to their roots or family history. They could have a lot of pride in where they come from and a strong sense of duty to their family. There’s a need to feel anchored in their personal life, and they may value traditions or family bonds deeply.They’re likely to be motivated by a desire to build a strong foundation for the future. Whether it’s through owning property, creating a cozy space, or ensuring financial security, they’ll put a lot of energy into making sure their home is a place of stability and comfort. Sometimes, their passion and drive could lead to some tension at home. They might be very particular about how things are done or how the household is run, which can lead to occasional power struggles with family members. But their intense commitment to family makes them always try to fix things and restore peace. Mars in 4th house, mars in cancer or any other water sign or water house could be significant in the birth chart of your spouse. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 5TH HOUSE:

- your fs will bring a lot of energy and intensity to the romance. Mars in the 5th house makes them very passionate, and they’re likely to express their love with excitement and enthusiasm. They won’t just “fall in love”,they’ll go all in and make the relationship feel adventurous and alive.

They have a bold, dynamic approach to creativity. Whether it's through art, hobbies, or their career, they’ll approach creative pursuits with a lot of drive and originality. They won't hesitate to take risks or push boundaries when trying something new.They’ll love to have fun and are always up for a good time. Your future spouse could be the type who enjoys spontaneous adventures, from travel to trying out new experiences. Life with them will never be boring—they’ll keep things exciting and full of surprises.They may have a competitive streak, especially when it comes to activities like sports, games, or even creative challenges. They love to win, but their competitiveness could also inspire you to push your own limits and strive for greatness in fun and enjoyable ways. If you have children together, they’ll likely bring a lot of energy into parenting. They’ll be active and hands-on, always engaging with their kids in fun, dynamic ways. Their enthusiasm and drive will create an energetic home where there’s never a dull moment. Mars in 5th house, mars in leo or any other fire houses or fire sign could be significant in the birth chart of your future spouse. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 6TH HOUSE:

-Your spouse will be extremely hardworking and focused on their daily tasks. Whether it's their job, taking care of the household, or helping others, they’ll put in a lot of effort and energy. They believe in getting things done and will work tirelessly to meet their goals.They’ll have a strong drive when it comes to staying healthy. Mars in the 6th house often brings an interest in fitness, wellness, or taking action to maintain good physical health. They might be very disciplined about exercise or nutrition, encouraging you to lead an active lifestyle too.They’ll be very good at tackling challenges head-on. Whether it's work-related problems or daily issues that come up, they’ll jump in with energy and determination to fix things. They don’t shy away from difficult situations—they prefer to face them and find a solution quickly.While Mars is known for its bold energy, in the 6th house, it often expresses itself through methodical, practical action. Your spouse could be someone who likes to organize their life, create routines, and keep things running smoothly. They’ll feel best when things are under control and well-ordered. Because Mars brings intensity, there might be moments of frustration or tension in daily routines or work life. They might sometimes be quick-tempered when things don’t go as planned or if there’s a lack of productivity. However, they’ll quickly bounce back, always ready to take on the next challenge. Mars in 6th house , mars in Virgo or any other earth sign or earth houses could be significant in the birth chart of your future spouse. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 7TH HOUSE:

-Your spouse will bring a lot of energy and passion into the relationship. Mars in the 7th house makes them someone who wants an active, exciting partnership. They’re not the type to sit back—they’ll be hands-on, always bringing excitement and intensity to your shared life. They won’t hesitate to speak up and express what they want in the relationship. Mars here makes them assertive, sometimes to the point of being a bit forceful. They’ll have no problem being clear about their needs, which can be a positive thing, but it might also mean they can clash if they don’t feel heard.Despite their fiery nature, they’ll want a balanced, fair partnership. Mars in the 7th house drives them to fight for equality in the relationship, which means they’ll value mutual respect and want things to feel even in terms of effort, love, and commitment.They might have a competitive streak when it comes to love or even when interacting with others. Whether it's wanting to "win" your affection or being passionate about maintaining a strong, active relationship, they may thrive on keeping the romance alive with a bit of friendly competition or a challenge.The intensity of Mars can bring conflict, especially if there are differences in how you both approach the relationship. They could be quick to react when things aren't going well or if they feel things are off-balance. However, they’re also quick to resolve issues and move forward, as they won’t let tension simmer for long. Mars in 7th house , mars in Libra , or mars in any other Air sign or air houses could be significant in the birth chart of your fs. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 8TH HOUSE:

-Your spouse will have a deep, magnetic energy. Mars in the 8th house brings an intense, almost secretive nature. They’re not one to wear their heart on their sleeve, and you might find yourself drawn to their mystery. There’s an air of fascination about them that keeps you intrigued.They have a natural ability to bring transformation, both to themselves and to those around them. Mars here drives them to face life’s challenges head-on, and they’re not afraid to dive deep into difficult emotions or situations. Their presence in your life could spark significant personal growth, helping you both evolve together.Mars in the 8th house makes them intensely passionate, especially when it comes to intimacy. They’ll approach love with a deep desire for connection and emotional depth, seeking a partner who is willing to go beyond the surface. For them, love isn’t just about fun—it’s about merging on a soul-deep level.When it comes to shared resources, finances, or joint ventures, your spouse will be strategic and resourceful. They’ll have a knack for managing money, investments, or shared assets, using their sharp instincts to make the most of what they have. They’ll be good at navigating financial complexities or handling shared responsibilities. With Mars in the 8th, there could be a certain level of emotional conflict or power struggles at times, especially around deeper issues like trust, vulnerability, or control. They might be quick to act when feeling threatened or when something in the relationship feels off, but their emotional depth and commitment will help them work through conflicts and find resolution. Mars in 8th house ,mars in Scorpio could be significant in the birth chart of your fs. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 9TH HOUSE:

-Your spouse will have a strong desire to explore the world, both physically and intellectually. Mars in the 9th house makes them adventurous, always eager to travel, discover new cultures, or dive deep into new philosophies and ideas. They’ll encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and embrace new experiences together.They’re likely to be intellectually driven, with a thirst for knowledge that never fades. Whether it’s religion, higher education, or big-picture concepts, they’ll have strong opinions and a passionate desire to understand the world. Expect lots of deep conversations and debates, as they won’t shy away from challenging ideas.Mars in the 9th house gives them a strong sense of what they believe in, and they won’t hesitate to stand up for those beliefs. They might be very vocal about their philosophy, religion, or worldview, sometimes even a little forceful in promoting their point of view. They want a partner who can match their passion for exploring life’s bigger questions. Your spouse will have an optimistic outlook on life, often seeing challenges as opportunities for growth. They’ll approach life with high energy and a positive attitude, encouraging you to look at the bigger picture and keep striving for personal growth and adventure.They might have a strong need for independence, especially when it comes to their intellectual pursuits or travel. There could be times when they crave space to explore ideas or go on a solo adventure. However, this independence is part of their charm, as it adds to their sense of excitement and spontaneity in the relationship. Mars in 9th house, mars in Sagittarius,or any other fire houses or fire sign could be significant in the birth chart of your fs.( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 10TH HOUSE :

-Your spouse will have a powerful drive to succeed in their career or public life. Mars in the 10th house makes them highly ambitious, with a strong desire to climb the ladder and make a mark in the world. They’ll work hard to achieve their goals, and they’ll expect the same level of dedication from themselves and others.They won’t be shy about going after what they want in their professional life. Mars here gives them boldness and courage, making them unafraid to take risks or step into leadership roles. Whether it’s starting a business, taking charge in a corporate setting, or pursuing a public-facing career, they’ll bring a lot of energy to their work.They’ll have high standards for themselves, and they might expect a lot from you as well, especially when it comes to ambition and personal growth. There may be times when they push you to reach your potential, not out of pressure, but because they want the best for both of you. Your spouse is likely to be someone who stands out in public or in their community. Mars in the 10th house often gives a person a strong presence, so they might be seen as a leader, authority figure, or someone people look up to. They’ll likely be outgoing and not shy about asserting themselves in the public sphere. Their intense focus on achieving career goals might sometimes lead to a lack of work-life balance. They can become so driven that they might prioritize work over personal life at times. However, their drive for success can also bring prosperity and opportunities, making them a partner who works hard to build a secure future. Mars in 10th house, mars in Capricorn, or any other earth sign or earth houses could be significant in the birth chart of your fs. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 11TH HOUSE:

-Your spouse will be highly energized by their social circles and friendships. Mars in the 11th house makes them dynamic in group settings, whether they’re leading a team, participating in social causes, or enjoying gatherings. They’re likely to have a wide range of friends and love engaging with different communities. They’ll have a deep passion for causes that matter to them. Whether it's activism, social change, or community work, Mars here drives them to take action in pursuit of their ideals. They won’t just talk about making the world a better place—they’ll dive in and do something about it.They’re not the type to form shallow friendships. Mars in the 11th house means they tend to focus on meaningful, goal-driven relationships. Whether it’s networking for professional growth or collaborating on projects, they value friends who inspire and challenge them to be better.Your spouse might have a competitive edge when it comes to group activities, clubs, or team projects. They like to take charge and might want to be the one leading the charge or taking action in group settings. Their energy can push others to step up and achieve their collective goals. While they love being part of a community, they’ll also value their independence. Mars in the 11th house can give them a bit of a rebellious streak, where they want to stand out from the crowd while still being connected to like-minded people. They’ll encourage you to maintain your individuality even as you share experiences with others. Mars in 11th house , mars in Aquarius or in any air sign or air houses could be significant in the birth chart of your fs. ( Not necessarily).

💍 MARS IN 12TH HOUSE:

- Your spouse will have a quiet intensity about them. Mars in the 12th house can make them more reserved or introverted, but their energy is no less powerful. They may not always show their true drive on the surface, but beneath it, they have deep passion and determination that motivates them behind the scenes.They might not always express their goals openly, but Mars in the 12th house indicates they have strong internal motivations. They may work tirelessly on personal growth or pursue goals that are more private, often driven by a desire for self-improvement or to heal past wounds.They may have a strong desire to help others, particularly in behind-the-scenes ways. Whether it’s through charity, healing work, or offering emotional support, they are likely to be protective and deeply caring, though they might not always seek attention for their efforts.They could sometimes struggle to assert themselves or express their anger and frustration openly. Mars here can make them repress their desires or feel uncertain about voicing their needs. There may be moments when they feel misunderstood or have difficulty asserting themselves, but they’re incredibly resilient in overcoming these inner battles.They might be drawn to spiritual or mystical practices, searching for meaning and purpose beyond the material world. Mars in the 12th house can bring a deep connection to the unseen, motivating them to seek peace, healing, or personal transformation on a soul-deep level. Mars in 12th house, mars in Pisces, or any other water houses or water sign could be significant in the birth chart of your fs.( Not necessarily).

Hope you enjoyed ❤️

- PIKO 💖

[slowcatsisland]

Trafalgar D. Water Law; Ideal Type Deep Dive

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The first thing that comes to my mind is that audio - “ I need to find my darling husband!” “What do you see in that guy?” “He makes me laugh.”

Law absolutely needs to be with someone who can make him laugh.

Throughout the post time skip arcs, it has been shown that Law -

Has a fear surrounding accepting and giving love

Believes that there must be a reason for earning love/giving love to someone

Law’s character had the most development in Dressrosa and Wano that could propel him towards healing with the defeat of Doflamingo, the revenge of Corazon’s death, and the closure statement that Sengoku says to him: “Don’t try to find a reason for someone’s love.”

Law has to heal first, or have a partner that will help him heal. To me, Law wouldn’t even think of committing to a relationship until the end of Dressrosa/Wano.

Law surrounds himself with goofy people, so it makes sense for him to fall for a goofy person.

This person would probably be on his crew as his trust issues wouldn’t allow for him falling for someone that has other loyalties that could easily be prioritized over him and end up betraying him.

Law is strict about subordinate dynamics, which is why you being on his crew may also hinder him from wanting to pursue something with you because he’s supposed to be your boss essentially.

Law would want someone that is smart, textbook smart like he is, but I also see this not being important if he truly runs into the ‘one’ that brings him the most peace.

I mean by that if you can’t hold and add to a conversation about idk the anatomy of the human body and the effects of a certain ailment, you’re not totally disqualified from his radar.

Someone who could hold emotional conversations with him is good. Even if he probably wouldn’t want the conversation. He’s kinda icky with feelings. Someone that could tell him how he feels, how they feel, and how that changes the context of whatever situation they are in. He needs someone like that.

I used to be opposed to the thought, but I believe Law needs someone truly soft. That means you could still fight if needed, but would rather not yk. It’s okay if you’re not out here swinging a machete trying to bloody the streets with your foes. That aspect of humanity that you have is something Law needs more prevalently in his life.

I remember reading an analysis of Law’s type and the creator said something similar to “Law needs someone who wouldn’t pull the trigger, just like Corazon didn’t.” I don’t know how much I agree with it but I think it’s worth mentioning.

Someone patient, but stubborn. Someone who is willing to wait for him to be ready to accept his feelings and won’t leave him when he makes a mistake (trust me he will make many mistakes in a relationship). Someone who also won’t be an idle figure in situations, you have an opinion and will voice it even if it doesn’t agree with Law’s perspective. You think the crew should help him on something rather than wait on the submarine and him go off alone? Tell him and make him listen, even if he shuts you down.

Law needs someone positive that can look at things with a glass half full mindset. Someone who looks at the rain and thinks about how the plants are getting water, someone who watches the snow fall but are commenting about how Penguin and Sachi are making snow angles and Bepo is really comfortable in the temperature. You even out his pessimism and bring light.

You’d have to get along with the other crew mates, especially Bepo too. Bepo is so important to Law, and if Bepo didn’t like you it already taints Law’s image of you.

You were always kind to him. Even before he invited you onto his crew, he identified your nature and could make a note about how you’re different from the majority of people he’s met.

Preferably, you’d be goofy, but not too loud. I feel like Law gets uncomfortable around those that are crazy extroverted- kinda like Luffy. Sometimes it reminds him too much of the Donquixote Pirates with all their flamboyance. That doesn’t mean if you have this quality you’d be off the list, he would just need it in smaller chunks or around the crew to be acclimated to it.

Grr, someone that ends up reminding him of Rosinante. Someone that Law knows is just a good person, regardless of their past.

If he asked you “why do you love me?” And you couldn’t give him an answer, you’re perfect.

He needs someone to be his safe space. Someone that could sit in his office while he works, content in the shared silence. Someone that he could ramble about his coin collection to without the worry of being judged. Someone that he could let touch his chest and have them run their fingers through his hair without worry that he’ll be harmed. Someone that will soothe him after he has a nightmare or read out loud to him until he falls asleep.

Someone that cares for him- this loops back to the stubbornness. Someone that tries to make him go to sleep, to make him eat, to make him take breaks from working. To make him live happily, something that he’s starved himself of truly ever since he was 10. He prolly won’t act like it, but you showing you care for him makes his heart bleed suffocatingly.

Someone that can show him how to love again and what it feels like to love again omg. The destruction of Flevance and the manipulation of the Donquixote Pirates so cruelly changed his perception of love.

Law wouldn’t want you to be a big shot in canon. If your bounty was rather substantial compared to his crew and him, or you had a crazy ability- it would make him worry awfully. He’d probably try to keep you out of harms way even more than he does with the rest of his crew.

Someone he can tell everything to and trust that they’ll keep it a secret.

Someone that likes the cold, likes the ocean. Living on a submarine as a pirate kinda requires this lol.

Omg imagine you’re from the North Blue too. He picks you up around the same time he does Penguin, Sachi, and Bepo. You’re one of the original members. The connection I feel like he would have with you would make him more willing to fall for you…

I feel like Law would like someone with longer hair. If he could watch them brush it, curl it around his finger, watch them create a hairstyle for the day. Small acts of domesticity in life.

Someone with large, doe eyes. He can see so much emotion through them, they hold so much weight. It reminds him of Bepo. (lol)

Someone aware of their own emotions and are in tune with their wants and needs.

I feel like he would fluster really easily if you had a gummy smile. Yk those big, pure smiles where the gums showed. When your eyes crinkly and your teeth are bared so naturally and without malice. It’s so beautiful to see.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He’s so broken

Mwah 😽

[strawberryblue-blog]

A to Z —Pau Cubarsi.

summary: SFW alphabet with Pau.

warning: none. cute, soft, fluff, headcanon.

words count: 1k.

A - Affection (How affectionate is he? How does he show affection towards you?)

He was not very affectionate at first, he is very shy and was embarrassed to invade your space. Although he is learning to get attached and give you lots of cuddles but he still feels a little embarrassed. He prefers you to be the one to show it first.

B - Best friend (What would it be like if he were your best friend? How would the friendship begin?)

Probably if you were friends, Pau would be the shy friend who wouldn't approach you but after you became friends he wouldn't let you go. He is good, caring and kind, he would be your best friend forever.

C - Cuddles (Does he like cuddles? What would his cuddles be like?).

He likes them, he has to admit it. He gets so intimate and affectionate, he's a kid and likes it when you cuddle his hair, back or nape of his neck.

D - Domestic (Does he want to settle down? How good is he at cooking and cleaning, etc?)

Yes, he would like to move in with you in the future. He's still learning, he's still very young and living alone costs, but he would definitely do anything from home to help you.

E - End (If you had to break up with your partner, how would you do it?)

You would feel very sad, too much. But sometimes relationships wear out and I don't think he would cut you off. He would hold out until he tries to get it back or you are the one to leave him but Pau would rather break his heart than yours.

F - Fiancé (How does he feel about commitment? How long would it take for him to marry/ask you to marry him?)

Honestly at this age it terrifies him. He is very young and getting married is a huge decision that takes time and training. But yes he would propose in the very distant future.

G - Gentle (How kind is he, both physically and emotionally?)

Too much. Everything about Pau screams kindness. He is a cuddly little bear even if he is very shy, if he trusts you enough he will be like a baby in your arms.

H - Hugs (Does he like hugs? How often does he do it and what is it like?)

Of course he likes them. He likes to feel your warmth on his body when you hug him, how his muscles relax and how they fit perfectly when he surrounds you.

I - I love you (How quickly did he say the L word?).

It wasn't that fast. Probably because you were the first person he really said it to and he struggled a lot to say it to you. Maybe out of fear or maybe out of embarrassment.

J - Jealousy (To what extent does he/she get jealous? What does he/she do when jealous?)

He is not a jealous person but if he sees someone else trying to get close to you with other intentions, he might be somewhat moved like anyone else. But he usually isn't.

K - Kissing (What are his kisses like? Where does he kiss you? Where does he like you to kiss him?)

Shy but warm and soft kisses. On your forehead especially, hands and cheek, with small touches full of love and energy.

L - Little ones (How is he with children? Would he like to have them in the future?)

He is quite good with children, maybe because he is still one and understands them. Yes he would like to but as I said before, in the very future.

M- Mornings (How are the mornings with him?)

Mornings with laughter and shy good morning kisses while rolling in the sheets and snuggling with fiaca. When he wakes up with you he is in a good mood and could stay with you a while longer even knowing he is late for his commitments.

N - Night (How are the nights with him?)

Quiet and relaxed. Probably watch movies or play board games to have good times together, would go to bed late and wouldn't mind you talking all night.

O - Open (When did he start revealing things about himself? Does he say everything all at once or does he reveal little things little by little)?

It took him quite a while because of his shyness. He is a person who listens more than he talks but after trusting you, he would say anything he wants to know and tell you everything for advice or support.

P - Patience (How easily he gets angry?)

He never gets angry. Neither with you, nor with others. He is a person who would never lose his temper as long as no one would hurt you or treat you badly.

Q - Quizzes (How much would he remember about you? Does he remember all the details or does he forget unimportant things?)

Everything. He knows everything about you and remembers every second of your moments together because you are important to Pau.

R - Remember (What is your favorite moment of your relationship?)

He really likes when you go to the court to support him, that's definitely his favorite memory of his life. When you wear his jersey, when you shout his name, when you tell him how proud you are of him.

S - Safety (Is he very protective? How would he protect you? How would he like to be protected?)

The usual. He wants you to feel safe with him, so he might be a little protective when they are out and about, putting his arms around your shoulders or holding your hand tightly. Also when his friends are around, he usually hugs you around the waist or rests your back on his chest.

T - Try (How much effort does he put into appointments, anniversaries, gifts, daily chores?).

He is very detail-oriented because he loves to give you with your likes. He would buy every single thing for you, even clothes or food, whenever he goes to your house he always comes with something in his hands to give you.

U - Ugly (What are some of your bad habits?)

Sometimes getting lost in a fixed point maybe. Sometimes you're talking to him and Pau gets lost on you, it's like he gets paralyzed and you have to repeat things again.

V - Vanity (To what extent does he care about his appearance?)

It's quite embarrassing for him but he tends to worry a lot about his looks, maybe because he's young and doesn't feel comfortable with it yet. How for example, he didn't know how much he liked her smile before but now that you know that you love her, Pau starts to like it too.

W - Whole (Would he feel incomplete without you?)

Yes. After he gets used to you, it will be hard for him to leave you alone for so many days because of his travels abroad. He would call you at night or text you every hour to know what you are doing, where you are, etc. He hopes to come home soon to see you again and hug you.

X - Xtra (A random headcanon for him).

He likes to cook with you, especially desserts. He is very caring and likes to spend quality time while making yummy things, learns from you and is really fun to cook with.

Y - Yuck (What are some things he wouldn't like, either in general or from his partner?)

He wouldn't like it if you let your studies get the best of you. He understands that sometimes it's hard and you want to give up but Pau would support you to keep going and not stress out, that it's not all rosy sometimes and that's okay. He also wouldn't want you to stop studying so you can go see him, he wouldn't allow you to spend your time on the game while you have to study for important exams.

Z - Zzz (What are your sleeping habits?).

Being the little spoon is one of his cutest habits. Or sleeping on your chest, hugging your torso tightly. He feels warm and likes it when you gently stroke his hair until he falls asleep.

[love-takes-work]

Streamily Signing with Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli and Malachite

Jennifer Paz did a signing through Streamily for fans who bought a signed print. Here are just a few highlights of the stream.

She remembers dressing up as "Bob" for a charity purpose.

She does some line reads that Lapis had in the show.

Lapis was not Jen's first voice over work. She did The Angry Beavers back in the 90s. She's done a lot of ADR work for films. However, Lapis was her first recurring character.

Regarding a fusion between Peridot and Lapis, she didn't think much about that, but she thinks they could work together at a nursery in the barn and being a therapist.

She points out that she can't draw "worth shite" when a fan wanted her to draw on the print, so she just wrote her favorite quote ("I just wanna go home").

Responding to "can you do impressions of other Steven Universe character," she did some callbacks from "The New Crystal Gems," doing "the Garnet" and an Amethyst impression.

In response to someone asking if she auditioned for the role of Amethyst, yes she did audition for Amethyst and recorded the pilot episode for it. They just decided she wasn't the right voice for it. She loves Michaela's take on the character.

She loved the Mary Poppins rendition by Lin Manuel Miranda.

She comments that Steven Universe helped her with her mental health.

She thinks Lapis and Peridot were great as an Odd Couple type.

Her plans for the holidays include in-laws coming in next week and her kid gets to hang out with his grandparents. She loves her in-laws who are coming in from Philly. They love to drink and she's not a drinker.

Can Lapis waterbend people's tears? Yes, Jen thinks she can. Ask Rebecca, though. She could've done something to Blue Diamond with that. Jen loves that Lapis said "I've felt worse."

Jen quotes when Lapis said "No" to "Lapis, fly us in!" She loves that Lapis is a "waterbender" but her humor was so dry. She's getting over being traumatized and just wants others to do their stuff.

She gives some advice for handling adulthood: the only way out of difficult things is through it. If you avoid difficulties they will come back somehow.

She thinks Lapis would enjoy flying a kite.

Wouldn't it be funny if Lapis became Bob the Coach and started a Little League? Maybe she'd say "There's no crying in baseball."

Her favorite character from Steven Universe was Greg.

Lapis did a lot of sleeping and reading to recover from her trauma.

Jen's favorite colors are blue and magenta.

Jen used to not know what "ship" meant in a relationship context and had to find out on Urban Dictionary. She has a Gen Alpha kid now and there are phrases she is forbidden from saying them.

One of her favorite lines from "Hit the Diamond" was "This plan sucks."

Her favorite ship was probably Stevonnie.

She thinks if Steven and Lapis fused it'd be because they were playing catch or hanging out--it would be accidental while playing a sports game.

Someone started a goth band called Cult of Lazuli because of Steven Universe and Lapis. Jen loves this!

She can't commit to saying a favorite song. She agrees that Lapis would secretly listen to Taylor Swift.

She would love Steven Universe to come back but she doesn't know if it will. She'll just say yes, in her opinion it will come back.

Her opinion is that Lapis's water powers are somehow related to Blue Diamond's.

She made a joke about how Cult of Lazuli rocks "because we're rocks."

While signing a Malachite print, she said some stuff toxic relationships and how incredible it was that Lapis dragged Jasper into the sea--but for what? She hopes those who have been in toxic relationships are okay now.

She could not sing in Brazilian Portuguese in response to a request, but she took out a shaker and sang some of "That Distant Shore" in English. She thinks it might be fun to learn it in Brazilian Portuguese and loves the singer who did the voice for the Brazilian dub.

She would love if someone could do fanart of Lapis singing "Home" from The Wiz, or "Home" from Beauty and the Beast--all the music about home should be a Lapis playlist.

She answered what kind of car would Lapis have? She would have an electric car, because as a reformed terraformer, she cares about the Earth now. The car would be a VinFast, "because uh, just because." ;)

She was at one time bald due to alopecia during one of the cons that she had met one of the fans at. She remembers L.A. Comic Con. She was wearing a wig that she referred to "a bob wig." (A "Bob" wig? Heehee!) She found it itchy. She asked Kimberly Brooks and Michaela Dietz if they could tell she was wearing a wig. She was stressed out and ended up recovering through the use of addressing vitamin deficiency. She sends a message of support to anyone struggling with alopecia.

She signs some prints with "I'd love to see your color shining through," "Maybe I'm not alone," and "I just wanna go home."

She shared that her mom's name is Aurora (which was somewhat similar to one of the fans getting a print).

She shares that she loves the Muppets and her favorite characters are "the two curmudgeons in the box seats."

She said "Bob" is a favorite for her and she has a few new items in the shop. Some orders were not made in time to get into this signing, so she wants to schedule another one.

[hashimasims]

Presenting Kaye for @changingplumbob's Dating Deanna

Hello there! Umm . . . My name's Kaye and I'm applying to be a contestant on Dating Deanna

I've just recently aged up to a young adult (21 in Watcher years) and moved out of my Mother's house and into an apartment in San Myshuno! Nothing I ever did made her happy but I think most of that stems from the fact that we're on one of the spare branches of this save's legacy family - did I forget to mention my last name is Glynnan? I was also born a human which is a MAJOR area of contention for my mother Deliliah who thinks it's a disgrace but my big brother Domenic loves me just the same and doesn't care that I'm not exactly the girly girl princess mother always wanted. I wanted to play football instead of joining the cheer leading team in high school and I'm a bit of a glutton - though I consider myself more a foodie who just enjoys ALL food!

I'm an Adventurous sim and I love the slopes of Mt. Komorebi just don't put me on a set of skis, snowboarding is the only way to go down the mountain! I do have to admit that though I don't dislike rock climbing I'd much prefer using the safer machines found at gyms to actually climbing the mountain after hearing about my Uncle Daolong's incident.

I'm working on becoming a professional athlete one day and here's to hoping one of the EA Gods will patch in professional snowboarding. If that happens I'd be the happiest woman ever! But currently just making Candles and selling them on Plopsy to make a bit of extra cash while I slowly move up the athletic career corporate ladder.

I love listening to music at the end of a long day but PLEASE no winter holiday music! I heard far to much of that All I Want for Winterfest Song while I was working retail as a teenager I NEVER EVER want to hear it again if I can help it!

Now for the specifics I guess . . .

I'm a cisgender female still exploring their sexuality. I'm attracted to both men and woman so being classified as Bisexual might be easiest though I'm leaning more towards Pansexual since I don't really care if someone is nonbinary, trans, genderfluid etc and I've met a few Sims who claim they're bisexual but won't date Trans sims, to each their own but why? If someone makes me happy and I them it seems perfect to me!

My traits are Adventurous, Music Lover, and Glutton. I think there used to be more like Socially Awkward and Vegetarian but my Watcher wasn't sure if @changingplumbob had the more traits mod so removed the last two

My current aspiration is to be a Master Maker

My likes and dislikes are below ↓ There's quite a few but My Watcher actually cut it down from what was there when I was a Teenager

Am I OK with getting flirty with the other contestants? I'm here for Deanna but if any of the other contestants flirt with me I don't see a problem with it since we're not in committed relationships or anything.

Am I open to Polyamory? Maybe? It seems to be working fairly well for my cousin where monogamy hasn't been working for my mother - three kids from three separate failed marriages yikes! Maybe you shouldn't talk trash about El when you don't have even half as healthy of a love life. Sorry mom I know it's not proper to air your dirty laundry on national tumblrvision but oh well! Domenic raised me to think honesty is the best policy so . . .

Open to woohoo? I mean it's part of romance now a days so I'd be alright with it. I just won't let my brother tune in those days. Sorry Dom!

Am I open to flirting with Joey? I think I could be! Again I signed up for Dating Deanna and don't want to hurt her feelings but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess

My watcher is ALL IN!!!

[mcjhay]

I don't need a perfect relationship. I don't need fairytale endings or someone who never makes mistakes. What I need is real, honest love-the kind where we accept each other's flaws and choose each other, even on the hardest days. I need a relationship where we can communicate openly, where we don't hide our feelings or sweep things under the rug. I need someone who is willing to work through the ups and downs, who understands that relationships take effort, commitment, and forgiveness.

I need a partner who sees my worth, even when I'm not at my best, someone who is there not only during the highs but also through the challenges and uncertainties. I need someone who isn't perfect but who is perfect for me-someone who is loyal, genuine, and willing to grow together with me. I want a love where we learn from each other, where we build each other up, and where we face life's storms hand-in-hand.

Because, in the end, it's not about perfection. It's about choosing each other every single day and finding beauty in the imperfections. It's about finding joy in the little moments, laughter in our mistakes, and strength in knowing we're in this together. I don't need a perfect relationship; I just need one that's real, one that makes me feel valued, respected, and loved. May all find true love one day🤲

[thessaralka]

i really love the idea that Solas and Lavellan had sex in DAI because it adds a other layer of regret and yearning and self loathing to Solas's character arc and makes it just one more thing he feels he needs to be redeemed for, and adds more depth and nuance to their relationship. he also just seems like the type to fully commit emotionally to someone when he's physically intimate with them and I've never been a big fan of the idea that UST needs to (or even can) be dragged out for years to be romantic. like after a certain amount of time it's not sexy anymore. most adults who have been in sexual relationships understand that sex makes your relationship deeper, it doesn't ruin anything unless the relationship was illusory in the first place, and having sex with/ physically bonding to your literal soulmate and then not getting to touch them for years causes a lot more yearning than any mental fantasy ever could.

[novankenn]

Prelude to... A movie on Saturday

A snippet from "a Mafia" & "From Assassin to Sales Clerk" AUs

Pyrrha was once again in the mall being dragged along by Jaune. The man she was supposed to kill, but because of her traitor of a heart and turncoat of a brain, she couldn't pull the literal trigger on the job. Of course the dense, oblivious, sweet, cutie. Pyrrha shook her head to try and replace those words... only for sweet to become loveable, and cute to morph into adorable.

So because of her inability to override her heart and brain, her mark who somehow had spotted her trailing him, decided she must be his... bodyguard. Pyrrha didn't know what was worse. Not being able to finish the job herself, or having to PREVENT other hitters from completing the contract! In was insane, and giving her a migraine.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha yelped when he grabbed her by the wrist, and started to drag her towards his chosen destination. "Hold on!"

"Come on Pyr!" Jaune spoke through his adorable goofy smile. Hearing her nickname, and seeing that smile, made Pyrrha "Goddess of Death" Nikos, blush like a school girl.

The blush, and associated happy feelings instantly died upon stepping over the threshold to Pumpkin Pete's Novelty Store. Gods Pyrrha hated this store. It was tacky, gaudy, and over priced! Like seriously $200 lien for a hoodie just because it had a trademarked rabbit head logo on it? But Jaune loved the store, and as his... bodyguard she was required to stick by his side, even in this hell.

But that wasn't the full reason she hated stepping inside this neon coloured purgatory. No that other reason was currently staffing the till of the store.

"Hi, Jaune! Pyrrha!" Blake called from her spot next to the till, in an overly cheery tone.

"Blake! Did they come in?" Jaune asked, like a over energetic puppy.

"Yep. The whole set is on the shelf, next to the Cereal Display." Blake helpfully informed Jaune, who released his grip on Pyrrha and rushed off towards the indicated destination.

"Blake." Pyrrha greeted the cashier coldly. Now why would Pyrrha be such a... bitch to some one working in customer service? Well because Blake Belladonna was also an assassin. One who had TRIED to claim the payout on Jaune.

"Pyrrha, you can relax. I signed off as not interested on Jaune's contract. You and him are safe in here." Blake informed her rival hitwoman for like the twentieth time.

"I still don't trust you."

"And that is an issue." Blake retorted. "How can you be in a relationship when you can't even trust someone in the same profession... wait that is a terrible example. I can perfectly see why you would have trust issue there."

"Whoa! Limited Edition Chainsaw-hand Pete!" Jaune shouted in excitement from his side of the store.

"How many of those freakish Sche-Pop things are there?" Pyrrha asked with a defeated sigh.

"Two dozen." Blake responded. "Anyway, you need to be more trustful. How are you going to move forward with Jaune if you can't trust and be honest?"

"Honest and truthful?" Pyrrha snorted, "Tell me Blake, in your infinate wisdom how this would go. Ahem. Jaune I'm actually a hitwoman who is supposed to kill you for a Schnee amount of money."

"Yeah, maybe not that honest."

"Anyway, have you been that honest with... Yang?"

"How do you know about her?" Blake hissed, her hand reaching for the kukri sheathed under the counter top.

"Jaune and her are friends through her sister Ruby, and you should understand... blonds talk. Especially to other blonds."

"Shit!"

"So have you taken your own advice?" Pyrrha asked with a smirk. "Opened that Pandora's box of truth, to you blond?"

"I'm trying!" Blake hissed, "It's hard, you know. I even bought out her contract four years ago, so no one could pick it up!"

"Whoa. That is commitment. When's the wedding?"

"Hush you!" Blake answered. "You're no better, you know that! Blushing and squirming like a school girl every time Jaune even looks at you!"

"How else should I react?" Pyrrha asked. "His contract has a no-buy-out clause! I'm sleeping in his bedroom for Gods sake!"

"Same or separate beds?" Blake asked instantly serious.

"Separate."

"Shit!"

"Blake, where you thinking lewd thoughts about me and my sweet Jaune-Jaune?"

"No, and do you hear yourself?"

"EEP!" Pyrrha squeaked as she finally recalled what she just said, and said out loud. "Argh! I'm a mess! What am I supposed to do! This should never have happened!"

"Preach it sister." Blake replied. "Yang wants to take me to the movies, Saturday, and I bet you an hour's wages she'll invite Jaune who will bring you along."

"A movie!" Pyrrha's heart was slamming against her ribs. "What the hell do we do at a movie?"

"Hold hands? Make out?"

"We are killers Blake! We are ill equipped to do such normal things!" Pyrrha growled in desperation while unintentionally grabbing Blake by her hands. "What are we supposed to do? how am I supposed to act normal?"

"Don't ask me!" Blake replied. " The only normal thing I know is how to work a retail job!"

"Right." Pyrrha released Blake's hands. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but WHY are you still working here?"

"Deery." Blake replied without hesitation. "She's scary."

"Oh, yeah... I remember her." Pyrrha visibly shivered.

"Hey!"

"No."

"Rude. You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You were going to suggest I speak to one of Jaune's sisters." Pyrrha scowled. "Not happening. Ever."

"So then we go to this movie, flub it, Get outed as murderous psychos, and lose the loves of our lives?" Blake asked.

"Fine. I'll ask Saphron." Pyrrha capitulated. "Happy?"

"You were right Blake!" Jaune commented in his overly cheerfully friendly voice. "They had ALL twenty-four PLUS the four special editions!" Jaune pushed a shopping cart to the counter. A cart filled with boxed figures.

"Jaune. Don't you have like all of these at home already?" Pyrrha asked, leaning back from the freaky things.

"No. That was series one. These are series two. So they're different."

"How?"

"Poses. Accessories." Jaune cheerfully replied.

"I'll just ring these all though, for you." Blake commented.

"Oh, Blake?"

"Yes, Jaune?"

"Yang said something about movies Saturday." Pyrrha froze. "So I thought I'd check with you to see if you'd mind it Pyr and I tagged along?"

"Don't mind at all. The more the merrier." Blake replied, in her practiced cheery customer service voice.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Dark Things are to be Loved - Part 1

A/N: This fic is dedicated to my dear friend @clonethirstingisreal. Happy birthday, Carol! A gigantic thank you for hyping me up and letting me scream about Savage in your DMs while I was writing this fic; I couldn’t have written it without you.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Savage Opress x Reader (Fem; has hair and wears a dress)

Fic Rating: M (mature content intended for readers 18+; minors DNI) Note: there’s no smut in this chapter, but it is absolutely intended for an adult audience, as it deals with heavy themes. 

Wordcount: 2.5k

Fic Warnings and Tags: angst; language; toxic, controlling, and possessive behavior; discussions of violence and violent ideation; Reader is in a deeply unhealthy relationship with Maul; allusions to abuse; infidelity but it’s complicated; Savage is down bad, but he’s still a Sith and acts like one.

Chapter Warnings and Tags: jealousy; pining; violent ideation; allusions to drug use; collaring; misogynistic language from an antagonist; negative self-image.

Summary: After months of serving as your bodyguard, Savage is at his breaking point.

Suggested Listening:

This fic smells like: Jasmin Rouge by Tom Ford (heady, rich floral jasmine)

Next chapter | Masterlist | Sign up for my tag list

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

-Pablo Neruda, “Love Sonnet XVII”

A Shadow Collective party could be described in a great many ways, but understated and restrained were not among them. Hundreds of guests had assembled in a commandeered villa overlooking the sea on some planet whose name Savage didn't have time to commit to memory. It didn't matter. They would move on soon enough, and nothing would be left in their wake but chaos and ruination.

The ballroom was packed, hazy with smoke, and unbearably hot. High above the crowd, a troupe of Pantoran aerial dancers writhed and undulated, their naked bodies glistening with sweat and glitter as they dangled from long swathes of shimmersilk in a display that was as impressively athletic as it was erotic. 

Nor were they the night's only entertainment. A Devaronian fire dancer was set up near the throne, spinning torches with dexterity and skill. If Savage hadn't been otherwise occupied, he would have started a betting pool on how long it would take some drunken fool to stray too close and get their ass lit on fire. As it was, he had no interest in the fire dancer, nor in the various other performers who were set up on small stages with poles throughout the ballroom, dancing in varying states of undress.

His attention was focused on someone far more fascinating.

His eyes tracked you closely as you wove through the throngs of guests. He stayed far enough away to not be driven out of his mind by your scent, but close enough to tear the arms off anyone who dared to touch you. He doubted anyone would be so suicidal, even under the influence of the spice that hung densely in the air. 

Pykes. Black Sun. Hutts. Death Watch. They were all present, and every one of them knew you belonged to Maul.

Even if they hadn’t recognized you as mistress to the lord of the Shadow Collective, they could not miss the sheer black and red shimmersilk gown he’d dressed you in—its plunging neckline deliberately chosen to frame the heavy, ornate gold necklace around your throat, just as the high slits in the skirt were chosen to display tantalizing glimpses of your legs. 

“Look,” the dress screamed, even as the necklace whispered, “but do not touch.”

Maul’s colors. 

Maul’s collar. 

Savage hated it.

He’d seen the marks it left on your skin: indentations deep enough to remind you of its weight even when you took it off. The first time he’d seen them, he’d nearly lost control and touched you. His fingers ached to brush across your neck; to soothe your angry, irritated skin; to feel your softness and warmth. Your neck was made to be kissed, not collared like a fucking pet.

But you belonged to his brother, and Savage had no right to touch you. In the months since Maul had ordered him to guard you, Savage had watched, always from afar, always careful to maintain his distance, never trusting himself enough to get too close. 

It should have been easy. It would have been easy, if only you’d been just another pretty face, another fawning sycophant jockeying to ingratiate yourself with Maul. Force knew there was no shortage of such beings simpering their way through the Shadow Collective. Any of them would have happily jumped into bed with Savage for the opportunity to get close to his brother.

He knew, because he’d taken full advantage of their ambitions.

But not you.

In truth, Savage wasn’t entirely certain what you saw in Maul that had made you agree to be his mistress in the first place. But he knew exactly what Maul saw in you. The perfect hostess; the perfect trophy. Brilliant, captivating, and beautiful. A prize to be displayed. 

A possession. 

Even now, as Maul surveyed the crowd from his throne on the dais, you circulated through the stifling, oppressive room, charming the powerful crime lords who’d assembled for the night’s revelry. They looked at you and saw Maul’s show pony. None of them noticed that there was something fragile—almost brittle—about your beauty that night. But Savage noticed. His keen eyes spotted the subtle evidence of stress and fatigue: the tension in the graceful line of your shoulders; the hint of darkness beneath your eyes that makeup couldn’t quite conceal; the slightly strained quality of your smile.

“She’s wasted on that freak.” The words bore the sibilant tones of a Pyke. “I’d like to get my hands on her and show her what a real man can do.”

“Don’t let the beast hear you say that,” their companion tittered. “Do you see the way it watches her?”

“Fifty credits says it does more than just guard her body.”

“I’m not high enough to take a bet I know I’ll lose,” the second Pyke retorted. “Toss your credits to the brute, and maybe it’ll let you have a round with her.”

Savage didn’t need to tear his gaze from you to know the identity of the speakers. He could sense them in the Force. The thought of removing their heads on the spot was remarkably tempting, but he restrained himself with some difficulty. He would deal with them after the party, when everyone was flying too high on spice to hear their screams. There wasn’t a single guest room in the villa that he couldn’t access, and they all had balconies overlooking the ocean. Very convenient for disposing of corpses.

The Pyke was wrong. Maul hadn’t let his lack of certain anatomy stand in his way when it came to you, based on the sounds of pleasure that made Savage’s stomach twist and churn as he stood guard outside your bedchamber every time his brother visited you. No one could accuse him of lacking imagination. 

When Maul would emerge, hours later, his smirk revealed that he knew exactly what Savage had heard, and that he wanted it that way. Savage was content to let his brother think he merely craved your body. It was safer than letting him discover the truth.

Because the truth was that Savage awoke early each morning to ensure the servants made your caf exactly the way you liked. The truth was that every day since he’d discovered your favorite flowers, a fresh bouquet had been delivered to your bedroom. The truth was that he knew your scent well enough to identify it in a room filled with hundreds of people. The truth was that he dreamed of the color of your eyes and woke up rigid and aching with need. The truth was that if he ever touched you, he might lose his mind and do something insane, like telling you that he saw your face when he closed his eyes; that when he prayed, it was you he named as his goddess; that he would bathe the galaxy in fire and destruction only for the chance to kneel at your feet.

The truth was that he hated that fucking necklace.

Even now, he saw the way it dug into your soft, delicate skin, the weight of it pressing down on your neck. It was too tight, and he wondered how you could even breathe. Had Maul had it altered to fit so tightly? It wouldn’t surprise him. The gaudy, flashy gold was to remind everyone else in the room who you belonged to, but the weight, the discomfort—those were just for you.

 Savage was not so lost in thought that he didn’t notice you working your way strategically toward the wide doors that led to the terrace overlooking the villa’s expansive gardens. As you neared the exit, he drifted toward you, navigating the crowd with surprising ease, considering the number of guests who were already so wasted that they barely knew their own names.

He glanced toward the throne where Maul sprawled with a look of boredom on his face. Kriff. Maul was never deadlier than when he was bored. He needed a distraction, or his attention would soon fall on you, and the results would be grim. Savage unobtrusively keyed a command into his vambrace, instructing the guards to send in a few more dancers to entertain their lord. 

He was fully aware that he was likely throwing the dancers to the wolf, and he didn’t particularly care. Their safety was none of his concern. Yours was.  He waited patiently, keeping one eye on you, until he saw that Maul was thoroughly distracted by a pair of Twi’leks wearing costumes that were somehow more provocative than if they’d been fully nude. Once he was certain that you were unlikely to be summoned before his brother, he faded into the crowd and followed you out into the night.

He stepped out onto the deserted terrace and immediately felt some of the tension dissipate from his body. The night air was crisp and cool, and it smelled of sea salt and the dense, lush scent of night-blooming flowers. It was a welcome respite from the suffocating heat of the ballroom. 

He spotted you at once. You were alone in the darkness, your form silhouetted by the moons’ light against the vast gardens below. He pressed a button on his vambrace to activate the ray shield across the exit, ensuring that no other guests would wander out and disturb your solitude, then he leaned against a pillar, cloaked in shadow as he kept a silent, distant watch over you.

You gazed out over the gardens, your back turned to him. He didn’t need to see your face to sense the turmoil within you as you leaned against the balustrade. Your hand drifted slowly to your throat and rested against the necklace for a moment. Abruptly, you ripped it off your neck and hurled it into the darkness.

“No!” you gasped, your regret at your impetuous act immediate and obvious.

Savage shoved himself off the pillar and crossed the terrace in three strides, catching you by the elbow with his cybernetic hand just as you turned to hurry down the stairs into the garden.

“Where did it land?” he growled.

“I don’t—I don’t know,” you whispered hoarsely, staring up at him with wide, panicked eyes.

“Focus,” he said curtly. “Which direction did you throw it?”

You turned back toward the garden, looking back and forth frantically.

“There, I think,” you replied, pointing into the shadows.

He scanned the area you indicated, but even his predator’s eyes could not make out any sign of the jewelry among the luxuriant vegetation. He stretched out his hand, concentrating with all of his mind.

There.

The necklace clinked faintly as he pulled it to himself with the Force. You watched him silently, your lips parting slightly as the hideous thing landed safely in his hand. He turned to you, knowing that he was about to make a mistake, and no longer caring. He lifted the necklace and placed it around your throat, his knuckles grazing over your soft, warm skin.

His mouth went dry as his heart began to pound. Up close, he was surrounded by that damned rich, intoxicating perfume that made his head swim—made him want to do dangerous things, like lean closer to you, bury his face in your hair, slide his hands down your body, hold you against him. His hand trembled, and he fumbled with the necklace. Stifling a curse and forcing himself to pay attention, he peered closely at the choker, and his stomach plummeted.

“The clasp is broken,” he said quietly.

“Oh, gods,” you rasped, horrified. “If he finds out—”

“He won’t,” Savage interrupted. “You were walking in the gardens.”

Your breath began to spiral out of control, your chest rising and falling quickly as your fear took hold. Savage rested his hand on the side of your neck, raising your jaw with his thumb as he tilted your head back to meet his eyes.

“Look at me. You were walking in the gardens,” he repeated. “You tripped over a root. The clasp failed when you stumbled. I’ll have it sent to the jeweler for repairs in the morning.”

He dropped the necklace into his pocket without ever breaking eye contact. Your eyes looked enormous in your face as you stared up at him, panting slightly. He wasn’t sure you understood him until you replied in a ragged whisper.

“I was fortunate you were there to catch me. Otherwise, I might have been seriously injured.”

He felt a muscle in his jaw spasm, and for an instant, he felt nothing but pure, unadulterated rage at his brother. Lurking beneath that rage was a sick, twisting sense of guilt at his own complicity. But you were still gazing up at him, and his hand was still cradling your jaw, and in that moment, nothing existed in the universe except your face. He brushed his thumb across your cheek, and your eyes drifted closed.

“It’s a collar,” you whispered so quietly he almost couldn’t hear you even though he was standing closer to you than he ever had allowed himself to do before.

“I know,” he replied.

“He doesn’t like people touching his things,” you said.

Savage drew in a short, sharp breath through his nose. 

“Things?” His voice was dangerous.

Is that how he thinks of you? Is that how you think of yourself?

“You are not a thing,” he rumbled. “You are…”

He trailed off, and when he did not continue, you whispered, “What am I?”

“You are,” he began again, then hesitated. “... Perfect. And you deserve better.”

Your breath caught, and he felt your pulse begin to race beneath his fingertips as they rested against your throat.

“I had a plan, you know,” you said quietly. “To leave.”

Savage momentarily forgot how to breathe, and he had a brief, unworthy thought. Leave? But then you’d be gone. It was selfish, and he knew it. He didn’t want you to leave. He wanted you to stay. With him. But he knew it would never happen—could never happen. Maul would hardly permit Savage to steal his mistress out from under his nose and flaunt you in front of the entire Shadow Collective. And what reason did you have to stay? It wasn’t as though you returned his feelings.

“What was your plan?” he asked.

You took a deep breath. “It was risky.” 

You began to shiver, and you swayed almost imperceptibly closer to him, tilting your head slightly to lean into his hand. He nearly kissed you then, but he held himself back with supreme effort as you continued to speak, your voice barely a murmur, soft and low.

“I was going to lure you away from the crowd, fabricate an excuse to get close enough to steal your lightsaber, then put it through your heart and escape through the garden.”

Savage blinked. In a flash, his hand left your face and flew to his hip, only to find nothing. His eyes snapped downward, and he saw his lightsaber hilt, clutched in your hand. Slowly, he raised his eyes to yours. 

Fool, snarled the voice in his head bitterly. You fell for it like the pathetic weakling you have always been.

Anger and self-loathing flooded him, but worst of all, beneath the nauseating swirl of humiliation and disillusionment, he felt the cold stab of betrayal.

Next chapter

[harrypotterandthefandomaccount]

everybody plays the fool

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

request: not requested, just based on personal experience & struggles rn lol

warnings: fluff, angst, loving someone else who is in a relationship, hurt, unrequited love? kinda?

note: recently experienced this with someone very important to me so super slay! some of these quotes are exactly what he said, which is kinda funny to use them in a fic. anyway, enjoy your early christmas present since i havent posted in 9 months!!!

remus lupin was not a bad person by any means, no, but at the present moment, you wish he was so you had some kind of 'backup' for your hurt.

you and remus had been close for a number of years, your relationship flourishing once you joined the order. he was very protective and observant of you, ready to jump into action if you needed his help - but he was not overwhelming. he respected you, that much was clear, and if you needed him to care for you, he'd be there in a heartbeat.

his standing with romantic relationships was something that you were not always 100% clear on, and you never pushed him to clarify or share that part of his life with you. but members of the order had told you of past partners, and to your knowledge, he was single - and life was good. you felt comfortable being a bit more flirty with him and hanging around him more often than usual. remus never seemed to mind and was glad to have you around, and your heart fluttered like a golden snitch.

well, up until you found out he had a girlfriend.

when word had spread, you backed off immediately. flirting with him, making suggestive comments, and of the sorts was no longer your place, and while it stung, you respected it. ruining a relationship was not on your bucket list. but really, you shouldn't have worried too much about yourself.

remus had been showing you around grimmauld place, as sirius typically had old photos of their younger selves, and when you had discovered a bunch of old polaroids of the marauders, remus was quick to delve into his past at hogwarts. you ran your thumb over the photos, fondly looking at the group of boys.

you glanced up at remus, "i have to say, rem, this photo looks nothing like you," a soft laugh escaping your lips.

remus chuckled, "that was when i was young, y/n, full of hopes and dreams, handsome. you missed my prime."

you laughed along with him, but you sensed part of words held a bit of truth behind them, "i feel robbed of not being around during your prime, with the way you describe it."

remus shrugged, a sigh escaping him, "yes, well, that was when i used to be somewhat attractive and before all of this madness."

the words slipped before you could stop, "in a non-weird, platonic way, you're still attractive so don't let time control your happiness and contentment with your life, remus."

he blushed from your words, smiling lightly, "in a non-weird, platonic way, i kind of like that you said that."

you looked at one another, your lips mindlessly swiping over your lips. remus cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that-"

you shook your head, "no, i overstepped - i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable..."

it was now remus's turn to shake his head, a soft smile on his face, "we both apologized, so i think we're even, darling. I'll see you at dinner."

after that first encounter, you decided to put some distance between you and lupin; you had figured it was the best option in avoiding any kind of awkward tension. and, for the most part, it worked. there were a few instances where you had to interact, but it was for the order and while things weren't necessarily awkward, it settled your mind.

soon enough, christmas had rolled around and yourself, along with the rest of the order and the kids, had decided to spend the holidays at grimmauld place. the house was bustling with such positive, happy energy and it was exactly what you needed.

remus and yourself were currently outside on the steps, sitting down as you people-watched. it was quite calming, had you not been a bit anxious considering it was your first time being alone with him in a while.

"so," remus started, "how have you been? i feel like we have not seen each other in a while."

you turned to him, smiling lightly, "good! currently doing a lot of raids for the ministry and sometimes that includes sleeping outside and just waiting. not ideal, but it's...life."

remus raised his eyebrows, "that's hell! you deserve better than that - do you have anywhere to sleep, like a tent?"

you shrugged, "sometimes we can conjure one, other times we decide to wait it out."

playing with his fingers, remus blew out a breath, "i'd say i would join you, but considering we spend enough time together here as it is, I'm not sure that it would be as fun."

you shook your head, "you said it yourself, we haven't seen each other in a while - it would be a blast having you there, if it weren't for the ministry." remus smiled at your reply.

soon enough, remus and you fell into a routine whenever you both were at grimmauld place: talking a stroll outside, sharing stories about your childhoods and memories that held importance, before heading back inside for the night.

you were incredibly thankful for grimmauld place. it had become a home, somewhere to rely on if you just needed some bustling of life, socialization, or love. tonight, an important quidditch playoff was on, and soon enough, the adults were becoming tipsy due to muggle alcohol.

you wouldn't have taken any action if remus's girlfriend was around, but she wasn't, so you took this opportunity to help the lycanthrope upstairs and into bed.

"remus lupin, you party animal," you chuckled, helping him discard of his shoes and vest. his face was a bit flushed as he laughed, "y/n, i-i don't want to-to be, but if i must."

with a snort, you shook off remus's vest, "even when drunk, you're still able to form coherent, intelligent sentences. here," you paused, placing some muggle ibuprofen and water on his bedside table, "take care of yourself for tomorrow morning."

remus gave a slightly-drunken smile, "thanks for taking care of me."

you folded up his vest, placing it on a chair in his bedroom, "of course, anything for the best guy around."

he groaned, "you don't have-have to say that, it's not true."

in your head, you sighed, 'oh merlin, please do not a self-pity drunk, remus.'

you sat down next to him on the bed, "rem, I'm not sure where that thought came from, but you are an amazing guy - you're the best. none of this negative self-talk, okay?"

remus laid back, eyes glossing over, "i'm sorry if i don't live up to that all the time, if i changed your perception of me."

you leaned over, grasping his hand, "remus, life isn't about keeping score or living up to expectations. it's about loving the way that you are living and as long as you are happy, that is the most important thing. be kinder to yourself, rem."

remus sighed, holding onto your hand a bit tighter, "ah, I'm just rambling...but y/n, i appreciate you, genuinely. i love you."

pang.

you gave a saddened smile, but hid it well enough that he didn't ask questions, "i love you too, remus."

remus then began giggling to himself, hiding his face between his hands. you laughed as well, unsure as to why, but he had brightened your gloomy feelings immediately. with a squeeze of his hand, you questioned remus, "what's got you so giggly, lupin?"

he laughed softly once more, "just-just thinking about the time i slept at the top of the astronomy tower."

your eyebrows raised high with surprise, "excuse me? when was this, and can we do it at some point?"

remus nodded his head excitedly, "of course, darling. it-it was a few years ago, yes, but quite fun! but, i should warn you - it gets veryyyy chilly up there." his eyes went wide, as though remembering the cold, and shivered. you tightened the blanket around him.

with a smile, you continued, "no worries, we'll bring our fair share of pillows and blankets, don't worry, rem."

remus looked over at you, his drunkenness slowly leaving his body, "can we share, y/n?"

as if you'd say no.

"of course, remus, whatever you'd like."

"hmm, no pillow wall."

you raised an eyebrow, "pillow wall? for what, rem?"

he hummed, "to separate us, but we don't need one...i like it when you call me that, rem."

your face flushed red, but hope he didn't notice as he continued, "i tend to get hot in the middle of the night."

'don't agitate the conversation, don't encourage it.'

"well, rem, unfortunately i'm the exact opposite and i get cold in the middle of the night."

remus softly chuckled, playing with your fingers, "oh, so you may need help to warm up? you know, you could always get warmer...there are certainly some ways."

shit.

you sighed, a sad smile on your face as you brushed remus's hair back, "get some sleep before you say something you might regret. goodnight, rem." and with that, you left the room in a hurry.

you cried that night, upset and angry at yourself for playing into his drunken flirting and suggestive tones. he clearly didn't know what he was saying, but you did, and took advantage of that. ugh, you hated how that made you feel. he had a girlfriend who he loved (you assume), and what you said and suggested...oh god, how were you two going to be friends?

remus awoke the next morning, aware of what he had said. if he was being honest, he knew what he said to you as he wasn't really that drunk. and he knew once you were aware of that fact, you'd be even more upset at him. getting out of bed, remus was met with the smell of tea, which wafted through the house until he saw you outside on the steps, knee bouncing nervously.

the lycanthrope met you outside and without looking behind you, you knew who it was. remus sat down beside you, tonks on his mind as he tried to formulate what he was going to say. nymphadora was his priority, his girlfriend, his love. but why did he do this to her, to you?

"how're you feeling this morning? any hangover symptoms?" you questioned, just trying to move past the awkwardness.

remus shrugged, "i feel fine, believe it or not. how are you?"

you bit your lip, "okay. didn't get much sleep, wasn't able to shut my brain off." or your tears.

remus glanced at you; you looked exhausted and with the fresh-looking bags under your eyes, he knew you cried. and with that knowledge, his heart panged.

you took in a shaky breath before whispering, "are we okay after last night? i-i couldn't sleep because of it."

remus sighed, nodding his head, "i couldn't either, darling."

you cringed, and he noticed.

remus continued, "it's not on you, y/n, it's on me, and i'm sorry. it was a shitty thing of me to do."

you looked down, your fingernails becoming the most interesting thing in the world, "I'm sorry, too. i shouldn't have continued the conversation. it's not all on you, rem."

remus looked towards you but your head remained down, "y/n...i-i think we both went with it but it got real at some point but i did that." he paused before continuing, "let me take responsibility."

you furrowed your eyebrows, meeting his eyes once you looked up, "remus, you were drunk, i fed into your drunken conversation-"

he interrupted you, "if we're being honest, i wasn't that drunk. let me be better, y/n, please."

your heart ached as it shattered into pieces, trying to mend itself back together. he wasn't that drunk when he said those things to you last night? you became increasingly confused, upset, angry, heartbroken. this man had worked his way into your heart, becoming not only a true friend, but someone you loved. and when a flirty conversation began taking a turn, he knew exactly what he was doing, saying.

but you couldn't have him, and the way this conversation is headed, you would never.

"i just want us to be okay," you whispered the half-truth, wishing you could say what you truly wanted from him. that you wanted him.

remus grasped your hand before letting go as he felt you tense, "you are not in the wrong at all, y/n. we are more than okay."

with a nod, you bit your lip once more, "just-just let me know if i overstep, okay?"

the lycanthrope looked over your face before turning towards the street, "i wanted you to overstep last night, y/n, so take that worry and throw it away. i truly wasn't that drunk, and what i said - what i did - was unfair and selfish, and i won't do it again."

you wanted to sob. he wanted you to overstep, to break his resolve concerning you and his current relationship. remus lupin may not have been entirely sober but he was aware of what he wanted, and he doesn't deny it. this was his way of moving on, of validating your feelings and hoping it wouldn't affect anything. he'd get past it, he had to. he loved nymphadora.

but you loved him. remus lupin gave you thousands of butterflies in your stomach to the point where it made you nauseous. you showed up to grimmauld place more often than you liked just for the off-chance of seeing remus. your autonomic body functions shut down and your palms became increasingly sweaty at the thought of him. you were enamored with remus lupin, but he was enamored with someone else who he didn't see as often as you.

you were the fool in the game of love. you were there as a convenience.

you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that thinking of him made you nauseous - but in a romantic way. you want to know what it is like to kiss him, to wake up next to him, to say "i love you" in a romantic sense.

before you realized it, tears began running down your cheeks. remus turned you towards him, wiping your tears. you felt as though you were going to be sick.

"i'm sorry i made you cry," he whispered, remorse and guilt heavy in his tone. he knew what you were feeling.

you shook your head, making remus move his hands as you wipied your tears, "ugh, no, emotions are just dumb."

remus sighed with a nod, "that they are, and they get us into trouble."

your mind was racing.

he continued, "but having and expressing them is the most important thing any of us can do. whether we are overstepping or not." more tears began to flow as remus finished, "that's why everyone loves you so much; emotions are your superpower. i love working alongside you, and knowing you, y/n. truly."

with a tear-ridden face, you turned to remus and gave him a sad smile, "thank you, remus." with a pause, wondering if you should say anything else, you continued, "I'll see you inside."

before he could say anything else, you went inside and up to your bedroom, the covers becoming your comfort and safe place for your tears.

you were utterly in love with remus lupin, but he was utterly in love with nymphadora tonks. and while you guessed that remus knew your feelings towards him, he had an obligation to her, history with her, and you'd never compare. you wanted to overstep, but doing so would be wrong. you knew that time would pass, that you'd get over remus lupin eventually, but at the moment, he owned your heart while he loved someone else.

you assumed, that everybody plays the fool at some point in the game of love.

[bread-wizards]

Love Laudna wanting Orym to be the one to cut her down if need be because she feels he can make hard choices, and Travis like "uh hello? What about Chetney? You want to put Orym through that anguish? I am right here" like damn, he right tho