#AS A TRUE CAPTAIN
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I'm alive and
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so is he 🥰🥰
#I'M FRAZZLED#I FEEL LIKE THAT'S ALL I EVER AM THESE DAYS: TIRED AND FRAZZLED#BUT ANYWAY LOOK AT THE AUBERGINE ON THAT MAN#the calves girl.. the calves.. and the thighs.. and *clears throat*#anyway he's looking gorgeous in that video with his pretty pink cheeks such a soft prince 🥺🥺#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#danish captain america#*he's.. fun fact.. been demoted as captain (given that Simon retired he would be captain as he was the vice-captain)#**he's been demoted for a far lesser “man”.... who the hell gives *Pierre-Emile* of all people.. the captaincy WHEN KASPER IS RIGHT THERE#AS A TRUE CAPTAIN#AND IF YOU ARE TAKING IT AWAY FROM MY MAN *AT LEAST* GIVE IT TO CHRIS!!!#THE DISRESPECT TO EVERYONE (me especially) INVOLVED#HOW **DARE** THEY#Hjulmand would have never hurt me this way.. he actually respected me..
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Nasty Dog
(cw: Fae!Soap x f!reader, pre-negotiated consent but not from you, groping, public sex, exhibitionism, dub-con oral(f!receiving), dub-con fingering, fae contracts)
The look you give your boss is nothing short of absolute malice.
Price does nothing but smile, before tossing the dress onto the bar and nodding at it more pointedly.
"Change." He orders.
"I'm not wearing that." You insist.
"Should've seen what he picked out first, be glad I talked 'im down." Price tells you; it doesn't make you feel any better. You still stare down the fabric on the bar and wonder if you could even consider that a dress or something closer to a long shirt.
An incentive, Price had called it, a reward for a job well done. You understand the concept, you just don't know why this has to involve you.
"He's gonna try to fuck me over the bar," You try appealing to reason. Price is a reasonable man, mostly, surely he wouldn't want his bartender unable to pour drinks.
"I'll keep hold of 'is leash." Price assures you. Somehow it isn't comforting. Not that you find anything about the man particularly comforting. He's a decent boss but no more trustworthy than any other fae you've dealt with. Still, if he says he'll keep Soap on a tight leash then that's what he'll do.
"Fine," You relent, "but if I even see his dick I'm quitting."
The threat holds no weight, you have a contract with these assholes, and you know better than to break it. Price still raises a brow, likely thinking the same thing. You grab the skimpy dress with a grumble and go to one of the back rooms to change.
Stupid sex club. Stupid faeries. Stupid job that you stupid need to pay your stupid fucking bills.
-
It's late into the night before Soap even shows up. You're so busy mixing drinks, pouring pints, and trying to tug down the back of your skirt, that you don't even notice him slip behind the bar.
You do notice him when you turn to grab the Aperol, and your eyes immediately flick to the tent in the front of his pants. You scowl when you meet his eye.
"Keep it in your pants," You tell him, doing your best to avoid touching him as you reach around him to grab the bottle.
He doesn't give you the same courtesy, reaching down to lift your skirt as you lean.
You yelp at the sudden exposure and immediately attempt to cover yourself again. Soap's hand is firm where he's got your skirt held, and though you tug at the edges your ass remains out. Soap clicks his tongue.
"Didnae give ya the panties like Ah asked."
You give up on tugging your skirt down in favor of twisting to push at him. You shove his hands, his chest, anything you can make contact with.
"Let go," You demand, feeling something awful warm when he drops to his knees.
"Don't mind me, bonnie." Soap hums, his hands dropping your skirt to grip your thighs. Your hands follow his and you bend to try to slide his hands off of you, only to feel his teeth against the swell of your ass. You stiffen, shooting back to your full height in an instant. You glance at Price across the room, and he holds his hand up with a smile.
Bastard. You can almost hear him telling you to get back to work.
You try to move to grab a new bottle, and Soap keeps you tightly in place. The only thing you can reach is the beer taps. You shoot a quick glare Price's way.
"Pints only for a minute," You tell the patrons seated on the other side of the bar, before you turn your attention back to Soap, "because that's all you're getting, one minute."
Soap doesn't respond except to shuffle closer between your legs and make himself comfortable. You grab a glass and tug the tap's handle to pour a pint for the man that slides up to the bar. Your eyes dart over him, assessing, and you switch to a cider over the lager you'd grabbed. You'd love to give him something with raspberry, maybe muddled with gin, light but stiff, but you're stuck.
Soap's tongue drags over the sleek silk of your panties, and you nearly drop the glass in shock. It takes all your self control to finish the pour, set it on the bar, and keep your face straight. His thumbs rub over your panties, spreading your clothed folds before he licks his tongue over you again. You shudder and push at his hands again, his grip feels like iron, his fingers digging into your thighs to a near painful degree.
The man on the other side of the bar gives you a strange look before retreating to some dark corner.
Another long lick followed by a deep groan, before he's peppering kisses over your ass and dragging your panties down to your knees. There's a measure of care to the press of his lips that you choose to ignore and then forget entirely when he bites your ass hard. You yelp and snap a hand over your mouth to keep from disturbing any of the men on the other side of the bar.
A placating kiss is planted on the fresh bite, and you twist to catch Soap's eye.
"Okay, that's a minute," You tell him, uncaring whether it is or not, "that's all you get."
"Ah dinnae agree tae that." Soap tells you, "Price says Ah have ya for the night."
Your gaze jerks to Price. Then around the bar. You can't find him. Is he even here? What happened to holding the leash?
You turn back to Soap and it feels like all the air has been punched out of you. He holds your gaze with those awful electric blues, and makes you watch him burry his face back between your legs. You twist back to the bar, your back twinging at how quickly your muscles tighten at the first touch of his tongue against your skin.
You grab another pint glass as one of the patrons on the edge of the bar grabs a stool in front of you. You need a distraction from the boiling anger you feel. So you can just be traded for favors? Given out like a prize for a job well done? What's next? He'll be selling you with the girls in the back rooms?
Heat slicks its way up your spine at the twist of Soap's tongue over your clit. Warmth slides back down to melt between your legs, pooling and tingling to following the steady flow of lapping. Over your cunt, between your folds, Soap's face held firm against you even as his hands slide to spread you apart. Waves of sensation that wear like a steady beat against the rocky beach of your self control.
Your hand shakes on the tap as you pour Guinness for a man that looks like he'd prefer a sour. The stout overflows, leaking down the glass and sliding over your fingers as a new wave of pleasure sinks under your skin. You don't bother drying your hand off, or apologizing, you barely get the pint on the bartop without cracking the glass.
The man gives you a once over as he takes it, and you grip the edge of the bar to try and gather your wits about you. You swallow down a sharp noise as Soap drags his tongue in strange familiar shapes over your clit. Your breathing feels uneven, and your hips push back into his touch without your brain telling them to.
It's all too hot, too wet, too focused, for you to keep a thought in your head. Your hands shake against the bar, fingers flexing open and closed with the overwhelming desire to grab and pull at the head between your thighs. You squeeze your eyes shut against the shot of pleasure that zips through you, tightening in your stomach before swirling between your ribs. You bend at the waist, pressing back, aching for more. Those strange familiar tracings are driving you mad.
(Johnny)
Each little flick and roll against your clit making your body shudder and react.
(Johnny)
Your cunt feels hot, electrified with the aching need that drips from it.
(Johnny)
His nose presses against your entrance, grinds teasingly against the wet hole until your breath is shuddering and you're halfway to begging him to fill you.
(Johnny, Johnny)
He pulls back to push his wiggling tongue into your cunt, and you nearly sob in relief. Your head feels like it's stuffed full of cotton, the throbbing pain behind your eyes is starting to recede back into the recesses of your mind. You hadn't even noticed it before it was gone.
Not that you notice its absence, not when your entire being seems to be focused wholly on the way your cunt stretches around Johnny's tongue. The warm wet muscle pokes and prods, wiggling and licking at your soft inner walls when it isn't fucking in and out of you like a promise.
A whimper leaves your lips when his tongue leaves you and drags another rough stripe over your cunt. It feels dangerous, loaded, intent. Some singular goal already accomplished, a deer finally shot allowing the hunter to feed, you almost feel Johnny smile.
You lean over the counter, the cold, wet, wood seeping into the thin fabric of your dress to cling to your skin. Despite the sudden chill your mouth falls open as Johnny sucks at your clit, his tongue rolling over the sensitive bud in crashing waves of pleasure. Your lashes flutter, your eyes roll, and the customer in front of you leans back on his stool. The soft moan that drops from your lips seems to roll like iron across the bar, making every patron pick up their glass in the vein hope of not looking like they're watching you.
Johnny doesn't break from his ministrations, shaking his head as he tries to press closer to you. The stubble along his jaw scratches at your thighs, and you try to swallow down some of the spit that's collecting on your tongue as he swipes broad strokes with his own through your slick folds.
One of the patrons reaches over the bar to touch your cheek, and when you flinch away Johnny growls. He pulls his mouth from your cunt only long enough to warn the man:
"Anyone touches 'er I'll have their heid."
The threat shouldn't send prickles of heat over your skin like it does. Not for the slow way that Johnny puts his mouth on you again, a low growling hum as his lips close around your clit that rocks little jolts of heat through you. His tongue flicks tight short licks against the sensitive bud and each one seems to build a crescendo of want that coils tighter and tighter in the pit of your stomach.
Every muscle in your body pulls tight, forces the arch of your back as you push yourself desperately back into his attentions.
You drop your forehead against the bar with a pathetic whine. You feel pathetic, vulnerable in a way you've never experienced. Every patron at the bar seems to have their eyes on you, you can feel them like a brand, and that attempt to touch you... Knowing they're watching you fall apart, watching Johnny do whatever he likes to you because of a deal he made with your boss- You just hope none of them are wondering what they have to do to earn the same reward.
Johnny's head turns to press his lips to the soft skin of your inner thigh, smearing your slick across the skin, and pushes a finger into you. Your lip wobbles at the not-quite-full feeling, at the burning slide of his finger in and out of you. You can feel his eyes on you too, but where your customers' eyes rove hungrily over your body, Johnny's are focused solely on the way your cunt swallows his thick finger.
His lips mover against your thigh, silent murmurings that your ears strain for over the music of the bar. A second digit slides gently in beside the first, his fingers scissoring to watch the stretch and God it just melts through you. You feel the stretch like a slow warmth that spreads through your pelvis and dribbles down your thighs. Out and in, his fingers dive into you and pull back with just the taste of your slick on his knuckles.
It's less overwhelming than his mouth. Enough of a thought coalesces in your brain to make you lift your head off the bar.
And to feel a sharp jolt of fear burst through you at the way the patron across from you tugs at his belt.
No.
No, you can't do this. It's too much. There are too many people and they're going to think you're something more than just the bartender. They're going to try and touch you, or make you touch them.
It dowses over your heated skin like cold water, making you prickle and tense, shaking with something so close and yet so far from pleasure that your body can't seem to decide what to do with it.
You're not sure who you mean to call for help, but a name springs to your lips faster than your tongue can pick it up.
"Jo-" Johnny's hand wraps around your mouth, his body plastered against your back in a second. The rush of fear leaves you in an instant as his lips find the shell of your ear. His fingers never leave you.
The gentle thrust of his fingers into your tight cunt feels almost like a lifeline, a sensation you can hold onto that you can't confuse for anything else.
"Ahm here, hen." He murmurs, his eyes flicking from your face to the patron's hand. "Ahm nae gonna let anyone dae anythin'." More than an assurance, a promise. You sink back into the feeling. "Take it as a compliment," His lips drag over the top of your cheek, up to your temple, "look so pretty that they cannae help touchin' 'emselves."
You half expect him to leave you like this, to go back to where he'd been between your legs, but he doesn't.
Your fingers find his forearm and grip it tight, something to hold onto as his fingers pick up the pace. In and out, in and out, faster and faster, harder and harder, until you can't stop the high moans that Johnny's hand muffles. His lips press everywhere they can, peppering the side of your face and the length of your neck with something that feels almost like affection as your hips rock and your muscles spasm.
Each thrust of his fingers hits right where you want it, pushing at that wet ache that seems to radiate pleasure. You claw at Johnny's arm with both hands as your back arches to a near painful degree, and he releases his hold on your face to grab your throat.
He fixes his mouth against yours in a searing kiss right as you come, your cunt fluttering around his fingers. Wet squelching rings over the music, filling your ears, and his palm with the sound of your pleasure. His tongue sweeps against yours, and you swallow the rush of saliva the feeling brings.
Johnny looks terribly pleased when he pulls away.
Pleased and delightfully fuzzy.
Your brain is still working through all the sex hormones and the red lighting isn't helping your vision.
You think you should be... mad at him.
You do your best to scowl at him.
"I hope you're not expecting anything in return." You insist, though your knees feel weak enough to drop to the ground right there. Johnny hums.
"Already got what I wanted." He informs you.
Your eyes narrow.
Whatever the fuck that means, it probably isn't good for you.
You fend off his groping the rest of the night, and lock up with a strange(familiar and terrifying) weight on your chest.
#cod x reader#x reader#x oc#cod x oc#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#john mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#soap cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#fae!soap#1fae1#oc: moon#f!reader#captain john price#Price went home as soon as he could#he did not want to deal with an irate employee#or watch his bartender get fucked#moon is not his type(unfortunate but true)
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10/10 funniest Spock moment is when he accidentally tells everyone he went blind bc he forgot he has an extra set of eyelids.
he ACTUALLY thought that HE, himself, was permanently blinded before going, 20 minutes later, “OH FUCK! I can see again”
normally that’s something Spock would do just to fuck with everyone but this time he also had his ass handed to him because he couldn’t remember HIS OWN NUMBER OF EYELIDS
best Vulcan ever. I know Starfleet is still telling stories about him to this day
#spock would have insane insane lore amongst Starfleet cadets and veterans bc there’s literally no way to tell if something about him is#true or not#who are you gonna ask??? Spock?? renowned liar S’chan T’Gai Spock??#’im telling you bro these alien witches LITERALLY stole his brain’#’there’s no fucking way bro. AMBASSADOR Spock’s BRAIN was not stolen by alien witches’#’my cousin was there!!! the fucking Captain put him on a roomba and brought him on the away team!!! he did his own surgery!!’#’TO PUT THE BRAIN BACK IN HIS HEAD? FUCK OFF!’#’HE DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE’#’WHO TOLD YOU THAT?’#’MY GIRLFRIEND’S BROTHER KNOWS CAPTAIN UHURA SHE WAS LITERALLY THERE!!’#star trek#spock#star trek tos#s’chn t’gai spock
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LiS characters from different games hanging out
sean, max and chloe chillin at the diner- looking at each others work
Victoria and steph babysit daniel and chris, hijinks ensues
kate and alex having a jam session (idk what you call it)
rachel signs up to be ranger, ryan is there to mentor her and she accidentally starts a fire somehow
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#chloe price#sean diaz#victoria chase#steph gingrich#daniel diaz#chris eriksen#kate marsh#alex chen#rachel amber#ryan lucan#life is strange 2#life is strange true colors#captain spirit
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my love language is a violent immortal with no soul falling so in love with me that he completely changes himself for the better and worships the ground i walk on
#my dream man#so many examples#spuffy#delena#rowaelin#klaroline#captain swan#elorcan#sooric#buffy the vampire slayer#the vampire diaries#throne of glass#once upon a time#spike#damon salvatore#elena gilbert#emma swan#captain hook#caroline forbes#klaus mikaelson#aelin galathynius#true blood#sookie stackhouse#eric northman
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Not just a five-year mission
#every damn time they beam down#star trek#star trek tos#a summary#james t kirk#captain kirk#jim kirk#spock#mr spock#spirk#star trek: tos#st tos#star trek the original series#tos#tos spirk#star trek spirk#kirk x spock#kirk/spock#space husbands#memes#star trek memes#tumblr trash#shitpost#crack#it’s funny because it’s true
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Awareness is a thing specifically attached to Anya while ignorance is specifically attached to Curly.
I think it's so poinignt that she wears contacts. It hides a weakness if you think about it like Jimmy. But they are also this invisible thing that allows her to see better. Perhaps it's her position as the only woman on board. Maybe it's her being acutely aware of how dangerous Jimmy is. Or maybe it's just to point out how she specifically always sees how the little details make up the big picture. She dies with her eyes wide open, she never was able to look away even in death.
I think it's so important that Curly only lost one of his eyes but also his eyelid. He's half blind to it all, like he was originally. Never quite aware of Jimmy but not completely unaware of who he could be. To be honest, maybe he is still half blind, the damage would make it a responsible conclusion. He still might not be able to see the little things, but now he can't look look away. He is frozen with his eyes wide open looking at all the little things he accidentally ignored.
#something something anya and curly are true parallel while Jimmy and Curly are true foils and in this essay-#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing
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John Price x Reader. Fluff. Implications of a BDSM relationship.
At some point in the evening—for you, anyway, since when you answer the call it’s clearly midday for him—John finds the time during his latest deployment for a video chat.
He looks a little haggard when the call connects, face reddened across his nose and cheekbones and dark circles under his eyes. He brightens when he sees you, though, crows feet deepening.
“There’s my dove,” he says fondly, the rasp of his voice low and soft. His beard is growing out, curly and dark in the artifacting of the camera.
“There’s my captain,” you return, smiling.
“What day is it for you, there?” he asks, sitting back, getting comfortable.
“Saturday,” you answer.
“Mmm,” he hums, as if it’s the nicest thing he’s heard all day. Probably is, really. “Tell me about it.”
You do; John always likes to hear about your days, when he’s far away. The tiny adventures, the workplace dramas, the little pleasures and minor catastrophes of normal civilian life. Keeps him balanced, he tells you; reminds him there are other parts of his life aside from the job, and the work.
You show him the embroidery project you’re close to finishing, the little window hinges you bought at the craft store for the miniature apartment you’ve been building from a kit. It’s the same one that he always half-complains about being spread over the kitchen island when he’s home, and you always remind him that he doesn’t have much room to complain; he bought you the kit on a whim, after all, without your even asking.
At one point the door starts opening behind him—he’s posted up in a large tent, empty bunks behind him—and he quickly covers the camera with his hand. He mutes you for a moment, then comes back.
“Only got a few more minutes, sorry,” he says, refocusing on you. “And—y’didn’t mention that other project, I noticed.”
You suck your lips between your teeth, effecting ignorance. “Hm?”
“The writing one.”
As always, nothing escapes him.
“So here’s the thing,” you say, strangling the fingers of one hand with the fingers of the other, “the bathroom is so clean now, John.”
“Dove.”
“And I finally ordered my new glasses, you know, like I’ve been meaning to for months, and you keep reminding me about.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose between two broad fingers, eyes sliding shut like you’ve just told him that some important intel has gone bad. “How long have you been working on this.”
“I don’t think that’s important,” you squeak.
One blue eye opens, piercing you. Humor sparks in its depths, though when he speaks, his voice is gruff, every bit as commanding as when he gives orders to his men. “I need to go,” he says, “so here’s the deal I’m gonna offer you. If that draft isn’t done by the next time I speak to you, then when I get home I’ll put you over my knee and tan your arse until you’re crying. Understood?”
Your voice has retreated somewhere down your throat, hiding very far beyond your trembling vocal cords. “Yes sir, understood,” you manage to peep.
His other eye opens, and he smiles affectionately. “There’s a love.”
#true story#lol y’all are gonna hunt me down it’s not even that long of a one shot…like 4k max#price x reader#mwritesprice#madi writes#captain john price#john price#price cod#john price x reader
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MORE VOLLEYBOYS AU
#was so torn between making ranpo a pinch server or middle blocker#but tendou style guess blocking is so him#kunikida is the ace because he’s dazais new quick partner#drammmmmaaaa#also he’s captain because he deserves it#Libero kenji is true in my heart and soul#junichiro middle blocker because light snow acts like a screeennnnnnn oooooo#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#doppo kunikida#ranpo edogawa#tanizaki junichirou#miyazawa kenji
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Blood on your hands.
Idea was made by @baylardo. She provided a little scribble and I messed with it.
#the spiral in the episode night I guess#there arent many characters out there that show true reclusion and depression feedback loops#she cant control people's fates :(#kathryn janeway#im not too happy with this but its just a quick little bit of practice lol#a mashup of my style with baylardo's#burple skivvy my beloved#startrek voyager#st:voy#captain janeway#janeway#art#my art#when ur on ur period (promised i would put that in the tags)#ummm yeah funny cos i feel a little neg about my art and stuff in my life right now IRONIC#i resent that i have to keep up art inbetween other art otherwise my skill rapidly degenerates sad!!!!#star trek voyager
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Saw this on Twitter and tbh, I can't detect any lies🤷🏾♂️
#officially a dontnod truther from now on#dontnod just gets it#decknine needs better writers#life is strange#lis#lis1#lis 1#lis 2#life is strange 2#life is strange true colors#listc#lis tc#true colors#the awesome adventures of captain spirit#captain spirit#life is strange before the storm#lis bts#life is strange double exposure#lis de#lis:de#lis: double exposure#dontnod entertainment#deck nine#square enix#lis double exposure#lis memes#double exposure#dontnod#twitter post
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rugby!!! winner gets price’s hand in marriage
pt. 1
pt. 3
#a day in the loife of a true brexit geezah#in my heart price is a big boy ☺️#I NEED A BIG BOY GIMME A BIG BOY☹️☹️🫶🫶#ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏#john price x reader#captain john price x reader x soap#captain john price#price mw2#price cod#john price#alejandro x rudy#alejandro cod#alejandro vargas#alejandro mw2#alejandro vargas x rodolfo parra#rodolfo parra#alejandro x rodolfo#rudy call of duty#rudy mw2#rodolfo x reader#141 fanart#cod fanart#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x john soap mactavish#ghost x soap#soap mctavish#gaz x reader#gaz mw2#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick
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Captain Marvel doesn’t know what a normal death is
(TW: mentions of death, brief mentions of murder gang violence)
No but really if you ask a street rat, literal living lighting, a bunch of ancient immortal people and a really wise king from a bajillion years ago, why would a reasonable answer be an option?
Like Billy thinks that if you’re 60 one of your feet are in the grave. Why? Because that was the life expectancy in the 50s. He's also homeless so he’s already more exposed to crime anyway, I wouldn’t doubt he thinks death by “minding someone else’s business” is common enough to be recorded as such in its own category and not murder. Also, he literally fights supervillains who try to kill him everyday? His view is skewed so much, that the damage might be irreversible. 😭
Moving on, Marvel is literally sentient magic. They can’t die, and if they can it’s not a thing that’s very easy to come by. The amount of work it takes to even do the equivalent of a paper cut is excessive, the concept of them dying would take a lot to set in. And they are a lost cause when it comes to knowing what a normal death is. The only “normal” deaths they’ve really paid attention to are the deaths of the Champions…and none of them had anything close to a normal death. (One of them literally gets hacked in two 💀)
The acronym; do I even have to explain? All of them besides Solomon, Heracles and Achilles literally haven’t died. And literally no hero in Greek mythology dies normally. Solomon is the only one who’s died of natural and normal causes, but he was alive in the BCE. That is a long time ago.
Now, Combine all of them together and what do you get? Captain Marvel: someone who does not have a correct interpretation of typical death!
This would probably concern others around them. Especially the JL, because I feel like Captain would mention this randomly.
—
(Green Lantern [Hal] and Captain Marvel were sent to investigate a crime scene together and they stumble upon the body.)
Captain Marvel: Aw…seems like their time came. (Captain’s got a sympathetic but large smile.)
Green Lantern (looking down at the stabbed body): Um, Cap?
Captain: It’s a shame. But I guess nothing could be done…
Lantern: Captain, they were stabbed???
Captain: Oh, I know. Happens to the best of people, right?
Lantern: Uh —No? Captain this is…worrying??
Captain: They’re in a better place now. Maybe.. ☺️
—
(They’re now back at the watchtower for a debrief, but it somehow turned into Batman questioning Captain Marvel.)
Batman: Captain can you explain why the body was not concerning to you?
(Batman’s staring at Captain intensely.)
Captain (confused smiling): …because there was nothing to worry about?
Batman (raising an eyebrow): Why?
Captain (hesitant): Because there’s probably not a serial killer or whatever running around? They killed an insider, it was gang violence.
Batman: How were you sure?
(Captain looks up to the side like their remembering before shrugging)
Captain: …Oh, I’ve seen similar bodies like that before.
—
(This occurrence is reason #5738 on why Captain Marvel cannot interact with civilians. But in Captain’s defense, how was Billy supposed to know lifespans updated?)
Captain Marvel (pointing at an “old” lady): Oh, she’s 62?
Citizen: Yeah?
Captain (sympathetic): Oh. It’s good she’s still on her feet though.
Citizen: What?
Captain: She’s thriving for her age, right?
Citizen: C—Captain Marvel, she’s 60 not 99. She just retired.
Captain (confused): Really? Why would they have her working so long if she’s nearing the end? (The lady turns around with this expression on her face: 😟)
Citizen: Because she wanted to?? Captain are you ageist?
Captain (never heard that word a day in his life): Uh, I don’t think so? What does that even mean??
(The media later somehow gets ahold of the footage and it becomes such a scandal it reaches the JL; Captain Marvel is then forced to have a public statement. At the giant press conference, Mary and Freddy are there standing next to him and laughing.)
Captain Marvel (whispering): Shut up, it’s not like you thought any different.
Miss Marvel (also whispering): Yeah but we’re not stupid enough to say it to their face, Captain.
Captain Marvel (still whispering): It’s not like you guys would have any less scandals than I do if you were in the media as much as I am.
Reporter (impatiently): Ahem. Marvels?
(Both siblings look like deer in headlights while Freddy laughs at them. They both apologize in unison.)
(Captain then clears their throat, they look like they’re dreading this.)
Captain Marvel: I am terribly sorry for what I said about [62yo citizen]. I hadn’t intended to be rude, but I seemed as such because I had a gap in my…
Solomon (telling him what to say): …Knowledge. I was under the assumption that the average lifespan wasn’t much longer than a person’s 60s…
Captain (repeating what Solomon’s saying): I now know that, while once true, that information is outdated.
(Billy went on for three more minutes, only stopping because the DTC got too bored and people were starting to give him funny looks.)
#The urge to make Billy say the Logan Paul apology was consuming me#However I consumed it first#but do note my will is reinforced with faulty metal rods#while it can hold now it will not hold forever#and yes it’s true Mary and Freddy would have just as many scandals as Billy if they were in the public eye as often#Happy thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans btw#🦃🦅🎉#dc#billy batson#dcu#captain marvel#Shazam#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#hc#hcs#rambles#dtc#Au#my au
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Nathan/Vlad/Ursula created by @thebibliosphere.
Description provided by @wanderingandfound.
Trevor: the born and bred monster slayer, whose noble family was all killed by a village mob when he was a child, and he is the lone survivor of that massacre. Alucard: the half-vampire son of Dracula who lived a very happy life until the church killed his human mom and his vampire dad went mad from grief. And Sypha: the magician from a travelling people known as Speakers who have a prophecy that basically says the three of them are to team up to kill Dracula.
Description provided by @powerpolyculeshowdown.
Nathan/Vlad/Ursula: For most of the book it's about two of the characters' romance (Vlad and Nathan) and Ursula meets them closer to the end. Their relationship, I think, is supposed to be continued in the next book. They all kiss each other and it's clear from the book that they like each other, and are all open to polyamory.
#throuple#tournament#polls#castlevania#trevor belmont#sypha belnades#alucard tepes#adrian ţepeş#hunger pangs: true love bites#joy demorra#captain nathaniel j northland#captain nathan#nathaniel j northland#captain nathaniel northland#viscount vlad blutstein#vlad blutstein#lady ursula
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#digital illustration#digital drawing#fanart#digital art#drawing#life is strange#life is strange true colors#life is strange 2#lis verse#life is strange 2 fanart#life is strange fanart#lis fanart#max caulfield#max caulfield fanart#chloe price#chloe price fanart#alex chen#sean diaz#sean diaz fanart#daniel diaz#daniel diaz fanart#steph gingrich#captain spirit#chris eriksen#wolf brothers#pricefield#dontnod entertainment#deck nine#true colors#video games
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KaleidoScope Fanzine | Deeb, 1993-94
#getting back into my fanzine hyperfixation >:)#OBSESSED WITH THESE!!! AHH!#spirk#star trek#fan art#spock#star trek tos#captain kirk#star trek the original series#vintage#fanzines#fandom#star trek tvh#star trek movies#star trek the voyage home#k/s#the premise#james t kirk#jim kirk#the voyage home#the one with the whales#true love#lgbt history#gay#space husbands#cryin :')
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