#ANYWAY the point is with the benefit of perspective I like it a lot better

[captainswan618]

I’m so excited bc so far the exact thing that I predicted is happening with this album!

The fact that I didn’t like the original as much when it came out, combined with the fact that I was 12 at the time (the most recent of any of the rereleases so far, and after the part of my childhood where I imprinted so heavily on taylor that her songs were basically in my blood), mean that the tiny changes aren’t bothering me as much as they have with the other rereleases!! even for the ones I loved when they came out, they don’t feel as viscerally WRONG as the ones from previous albums have :)

[randomwords247]

Me after finishing my latest commission: Man thank goodness I don't have to deal with strict perspective anymore I love doing backgrounds but having to rely on vanishing points can really make my head hurt and I'm just glad I don't have to do that anymore and can take a break a-

literally me right after with the next artwork I'm working on:

At least its not 2 point perspective but still gosh darn it why do I keep DOING THIS TO MYSELF

[spywhitney]

Why I'm Not Buying New Tickets for the Sydcarmy Train (For Now Anyway)

So yesterday I re-watched S3 (aside from EP10. I didn't feel like watching Sydney having a panic attack again) so I can write this with a fresher perspective.

For a little context, S3 dropped at 2am Thursday for where I was and I couldn't get to sleep because A) I was so excited to watch it and B) It was more hot than usual so that kept me awake so I watched it all immediately.

My main stance is not that I don't necessarily doubt sydcarmy will happen, but rather I don't like the idea of it as much as I did before S3. Now, to my points:

Season 4 May Be the Last Season I believe it will be, or if we're lucky (???), an extra season. With how the story has gone thus far, and how the actors are being catapulted into the spotlight, I doubt there will be time for a satisfying sydcarmy ending.

Carmen Is No Longer Attractive as a Male Lead

The bear is a show of flawed characters that we can all connect, sympathise and root for in one way or another.

I had a hard time finding the Carmy from the previous seasons, or enough of the good traits that made him sympathetic enough for me to overlook his unsavoury ones. The yelling, ignoring, the disrespect, the arrogance, the abandonment, the neglect (and whatever else I haven't said) directed at Sydney (and everyone else, but she gets the worst of him the most often) doesn't make me want to see them kiss.

The first word that came to mind is gross. Could you imagine if a friend explained what Sydney has went through with Carmen then revealed they're getting into a romantic relationship with him? There's a certain ick factor that can't be undone completely by longing stares, chemistry and hundreds of analysis posts for me.

If being around your "soulmate" is leading to deteriorating health, it's not worth it. Smells too much like struggle love to me, and I'm not fond of the implications of that.

Dwindling Faith in the Execution of Sydney’s Character I held an expectation that S3 will be heavily focused on Sydney, but she was side-lined once again, and not for characters or arcs that I and a lot of viewers wanted to see. (Not to mention how this season was in general).

This season was mostly rising action and conflict, and with that we've seen Sydney at her lowest and have to wait to see if she will be victorious before the end (the word victory was first said by Sydney and one other person so far in the show, so I hope that's a good sign).

I don't want to sit through watching a black woman be a workhorse/emotional support/"work wife" to a white guy, or just anyone really. There was microscopic if non-existent reciprocity or at the bare minimum acknowledgement of what Sydney has done for everyone and the restaurant (and not just from Carmen).

Carmen Has to Change More Than Sydney Does His flaws far out weigh the severity of Sydney's. With S3, him not being okay is making Sydney not be okay, this is something I was concerned about in S2 with all the parallels, while some are sweet/romantic, others like the throwing up, the ticket machine and now the panic attacks, are too largely negative to be overlooked.

Saying that Sydney is becoming Carmen is not a stance I agree with (or want to believe), but for the show so far he's been giving her more problems, more stress and not enough care, respect, love to make up for it. Sydney has a flaw of not being vulnerable and expressing herself. It affects herself and her relationships with others, but not to the point where they're worse of. Carmen's flaws are negatively affecting Sydney's health, while despite her flaws, Sydney's strengths positively affect Carmen without fail. See where the problem is? Sydney has nothing to gain (and so far, has gained nothing substantial) from being around Carmen in any capacity, while Carmen has continued to benefit from her presence.

Again, it's kind of hard to root for them when romance involves people who compliment each other, make each other better. "You make me better at this." This is certainly true for Carmen, but Sydney? I don't see how this has been illustrated, or at most to a significant extend to where the negative aspects of their dynamic are out trumped. (Sidenote: At least Claire was getting lovingly touched and getting fucked by Carmen while Sydney was building up their dream restaurant alone. That's some nasty work.)

Sydney Deserves a Changed Carmen, Not a Struggling One Or a different love interest altogether. (Luca, where are you at? My condolences to the sydmarcus crowd, they really burned your ship in S2 then let it sink in S3.)

This connects to my very first point, but I don't think there will be enough time for Carmen to improve to be the man Sydney deserves. He also has yet to suffer the consequences for how he's treating Sydney. So far he has suffered at his own mind and trauma, but that's not enough for me. He has yet to pay his dues when it comes to Sydney, so the the idea that she will stay with him and The Bear and wait around for him to be and do better when she's been doing that three seasons straight doesn't sit right with me.

Like Sydney's gone through all that she's gone through (mostly due to Carmen) only for Carmen to be what she gets at the end? Eh, no thanks. (Especially if Sydney doesn't get loved up and taken care of by someone deserving, succeed professionally and win in general.)

Subtext, Glorious Subtext Last one. Whoop whoop! Being a sydcarmy has made watching this show so much better.

However, I can't be the only one who at times is getting tired of hyperfixating on subtext only for it to amount to nothing.

But, I have a few observations myself. I don't want Sydney to stay with Carmen/at the bear, I want her to leave. I have a feeling she won't but:

-In S3 EP5, when Sydney asked Carmen if he knew if Ever was special when he was there and I think he said he didn't, but Sydney said it was good he got to experience it.

-The only noteworthy Claire scene where she talks about the girl who fell into a glass table and laughed after the surgery, and Claire said she thinks the wounds didn't hurt yet. (And the scar on Carmen's hand. Is that from the pilot S1 episode when he grabbed the pan?)

-When it's revealed Terry is closing Ever, Richie presumes the reason is because she's depressed, but it's revealed she just didn't want to do it any more.

-The ever chef told Sydney if it wasn't for Terry closing he'd probably be there forever.

With these moments I like to think Sydney's arc is learning to move on, to not make "everything the thing". Carmen is the one who needs to stay at the bear, in one place and work on becoming himself with where he's at.

I may add onto this later, if you've read this far thank you, and I hope it was interesting. Links below are my rants on S3 and sydcarmy. Pretty sure you could decode the five stages of grief in them- I'm so dramatic lol.

This This And this

[aleakybiro]

Aromantic ppl need so much more rep. Not just for themselves but like for the good of the world.

As a romantic asexual, figuring out what I am caused me a lot of stress at first. How could I ever have a relationship if I couldn't live up to the expectations of one? Long story short, that turned out to be a good thing bc realising your relationships can't be typical means that you have to define what they mean yourself, and that's honestly really freeing.

But what helped me get to that point was reading about things from the perspective of aro ppl. They won't have a partner in the typical sense so aros build their lives around their other relationships and passions.

And i think that's honestly so important. Even for allos, for everyone. Because we as a society place too much value on one type of relationship. People think being single means being alone. That if you're gonna live with someone they have to be a romantic/sexual partner. And like, why? Maybe it's fine for us to live with our friends if that's what feels better. Maybe you're not alone without a partner because you have friends and family who love you. Why does a partner even have to be romantic?

Point is, basing your plans on one person and making them the one to fulfill all your needs is pretty harmful. All the people in our lives, all the different relationships we have meet different needs and that brings balance. Your friends can be the most important relationships in your life. You can pour your passion into your hobbies and interests because aros aren't people without love. They have just as much love as anyone else, and that love is just directed more into other things.

This perspective changed my life. I'm closer to my friends. I don't obsess over romance anymore. There is so much meaning to what I have right now and I don't need romance, I'm in no rush anymore. And it's all cause aromantic people have the courage to come out and say "we can love, we do love. Look at how much love there is in the world."

So yeah, I think it would benefit so many people to see things this way. To see it in media instead of the main character always needing a love interest, instead of the kiss being this magical thing that fixes everything.

And also, rep for aros and aces shouldn't just be "oh this person is focused on their work so they're probably aro/ace". Rep should be people who are out, or an arc about their feelings towards sex/romance. Rep should be aces who aren't aro and vice versa. Cause the amount of difficulty it would have saved me if i'd just seen people like me a bit more. I want the younger aces to see themselves so they don't have to go through that same difficulty.

Anyways thanks for listening, happy pride! Love comes in many forms!

[mystreet-liveblog]

Earlier today I thought to myself how Season 1 feels the most iconic despite being the least developed season (from a production and continuity standpoint)

Now I’m trying to think about why. I don’t think the reason has anything to do with the plot or characters or humor, but rather the formatting

Season 1 was a Minecraft Roleplay. Sure it had a few cinematic scenes, but at its core it was a bunch of characters existing and interacting in Minecraft. It was mostly first-person perspective with in-game dialogue read out loud by Aphmau, and it had that nostalgic feeling of playing Minecraft with your friends

None of the other seasons capture that same feeling (so far on my binge anyway). The first-person perspective is still in some bits of PDH S1 and Love~Love Paradise, but they don’t have that same Minecraft-specific vibe to them

The best example I have of what I mean is in S1 when Aphmau is unpacking her boxes and putting up her posters. She is building in Minecraft! You don’t see that past Season 1, where characters take out blocks and place them, because the story slowly starts not-being based in Minecraft

Of course, the switch to cinematic storytelling is by no means a bad thing. I’m just pointing out that the reason Season 1 feels so different is because it’s far more Minecrafty than others. The show slowly stops being a Minecraft Roleplay and starts becoming a “roleplay in Minecraft” during its run

And I think this is also why Season 3 feels sort of disconnected from the rest of the show (I know it’s where a lot of OG fans stopped watching back in the day, myself included). Season 3 is entirely cinematic, with most of the Minecraft aspects gone beyond the medium itself. Even the cats are changed from Minecraft cats to Neko Atsume cats

For the first two seasons, MyStreet was still a Minecraft Roleplay, but the third season made a big leap into TV-show territory. It sort of feels like it came out of nowhere, too, despite previous seasons having fully-cinematic episodes of their own. I can’t quite figure out why it felt so different because of this. Cinematics weren’t new, but perhaps since they often came alongside pov scenes they fit in better

And that makes Season 4 a very interesting case. I haven’t started Season 4 on my binge yet, but something I distinctly remember about it is that it brought back the first-person perspective shots (though I believe from Aaron’s pov this time, establishing him as a season protagonist). I think this is a great idea because it returns those initial S1 vibes I was referring to

Then, as the season gets more plot heavy, the pov gets replaced by more and more cinematics, until the paradigm shift fully establishes MyStreet as a TV-show once again. I think this is what Season 3 needed: a reason to become more TV-like

Season 4 is an MCRP until suddenly it isn’t, and its advancing story becomes deserving of cinematics. Season 3 didn’t entirely earn this shift. MyStreet has always been TV-like but it wasn’t a proper show until Season 4. Or, more accurately, it became a show in S3, then reverted back for a proper transition in S4

I still like S3 and its cinematics, but I also admit that it could’ve benefitted from taking itself a little less seriously at certain times. The pov shots are comedic because they remind the audience “oh yeah, this is a video game!” I don’t think S3 did anything wrong, but just by simply being different it created a different vibe to the whole thing

Anyway, I’m looking forward to starting S4 soon, and seeing if this post holds up by the end of it

[the-bonfires-ember]

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

[nananarc]

Gonna disclose my income as a freelance artist because I feel like it might give some perspective. And mostly bc I'm feeling a bit burnout and I want pity points ok? Lol.

Context 1: For sake of simplicity, all figures are net income (minused all fees, charges, insurance, benefits, etc)

Context 2: I live in a big city in Việt Nam and the cost of living is relatively low. A salary of 1000$/month is considered really good for someone living alone with one pet, no family or children, no debt or other liabilities. Entry level jobs usually start at around 200-300$/month.

.

Let's start in 2021 because that's when it can be considered when I started doing art professionally.

In 2021 and 2022, I was juggling between art school, a part-time online side gig, building social media for my art, and of course try to get commissions. But coms were few and far between, mainly because I didn't have an online present before and I only hang in relatively small fandoms. So all I earn through side gig and art were only some change, in total avarage to about 40$/ month. Some months made up for no income months.

In 2023, things starts to be a bit better as I get more confident in my skill, but coms are still few and far between and months with no income is still common. Side gig was few and far between too and pay less. Overall I'd say it goes up to about 80$/month.

This year 2024, art school is done, I can finally do art full time. But I was severely burnout because all the accumulated stress since waaaaay before catch up with me and i couldn't cope anymore. I have to spend a lot of time resting instead. Fortunately, I received a decent amount of coms each month, and the new patreon surprisingly got a few supporters (I fully realistically expected it to sit at 0 for at least a year). Overall, I have an 8 hours 4 days work week: 4 hours a day on com and managing social media and other stuff that actually makes money; 4 hours a day on my own projects and personal indulgence that doesn't directly make money. As of now, my income is about 180$/month.

.

You are probably wondering how the fuck do one live like this in this economy.

It's because my family is middle class and can afford a freeloader like me in their house, receive their pocket money and tuition fee. I'm privileged.

But of course my family isn't rich and if just one catastrophic event happens to us, we'd be in bad shit. I'm constantly in anxiety of money, work, and the future. It doesn't help that I'm late 20s and many people around keep reminding of how I'm not making money yet still leeching off parents. It doesn't help that, for years all i hear about art is it will just lead to failure and no money.

.

But still, I am thankful of my family for letting me stay here. And all my friends and supporters for giving me money oc lol, but more importantly, believing in me more than I ever do in myself. I read all of your little tags, your keysmash and compliments, and I keep them all dear to my heart, and I went back to them everytime I need motivation. I can't see where my future as an artist will be, but I cling to your support and love as the will to keep going. Thank you all so, so fucking much. I'd have been literally dead in a ditch somewhere without you guys.

Anyway, idk, I've always been adamant about wage transparency (especially in a corporate setting) but I rarely see this in freelance artists. except to flex, to promote the hustle culture, or to sell some courses they made. Most of us don't want/can't subscribe to the grind and have nothing to flex either. All we have is this shit economy. I'd wish we could have been more open about this and many of us wouldn't have to feel so lonely and despair all the time.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What do you think the best pet for Malleus would be? I want to say some kind of tortoise since some species can live for 80 to 150 or even 200 years.

I can just imagine him going on walks with it, and even when it gets really big he's still able to pick it up and carry it around.

Well, I don't necessarily think having a pet that lives for a long time would be the "best" for him specifically. This is because book 7 has a lot to do with Malleus having to learn to "let go" of the ones he loves. A pet is there to be your loving companion, yes--but is a loving companion what Malleus "needs" (for lack of a better term), or does he "need" to come to accept change? That's some food for thought!

That being said, I think it would benefit him to try out all kinds of pets, learning each of their unique behaviors and needs. He currently struggles to understand other races, and the act of having to adapt to taking care of animals with different expectations could help ease him into new mindsets and perspectives. It would help him "grow up" and broaden his horizons, in a sense.

If we had to settle on one animal, I think a raven or a crow would be the "obvious" answer since they're associated with Maleficent, the Disney character Malleus is twisted from. I don't exactly know what the implications of Malleus owning some kind of reptile as a pet are since aren't dragons also... reptiles... That'd be like saying a cat beastman has a cat for a pet. Doesn't that feel a little morally weird?? Especially since we learn in the Sunset Savana hometown event that beastmen’s ancestors are normal animals??? (I guess Gao-Gao Dragon-kun is a pet, but it’s virtual so I’m not sure if that truly counts.) Not to mention it's morbid to think about since Malleus was at one point going to be treated like a pet (an enemy human commander said he wanted to have a dragon as a steed).

Mmm, considering Twisted Wonderland is a world with magic, perhaps a phoenix could work? It is bird-like (to satisfy the raven/crow associated with Maleficent), lives a long time, but dies and is reborn anew every so often. If Malleus wants a companion that will be with him for a long time, then he's got it in a phoenix. Sooner or later though, he will have to face the inevitability of the passage of time and the change it brings with it... He can't always stay sheltered in the security that his friends and family will return to him or always be with him. Oops, my reply became depressing 💀

… Anyway, nothing can top Gao-Gao Dragon-kun, who will always be there for Malleus in good times and in bad! 🐉

[elbiotipo]

y'know, I think a lot of why people really get into "we should focus on solving problems here instead of dreaming of space" is as a reaction to rich nutcases who convince themselves of shit like "if I put humanity on mars that's better than paying taxes or solving hunger right". so I kinda can't blame the sentiment sprouting and growing beyond its most useful context but it's also kinda like... when did we let rich nutcases take over that entire conversation anyway? they don't even actually succeed at getting into space at all, national space agencies are still winning every single time there

Rich assholes aren't ever gonna "solve world hunger", that's another big fallacy. If someone like Bezos or Musk tried to donate all their money into "solving world hunger" they would either get kicked from their companies, or create agrobusiness megacorporations and being from Argentina I'm well aware on how they work.

But I digress. The reason why there is so much private interest in space lately is because there are market forces pulling up there, and those market forces exist, in my opinion, because there is a future in space. Because there are recent technological changes (most notably reusable rockets) that are creating new possibilities from communication to manufacturing to mining to tourism, there is a lot of potential in space. Not to mention the drive to understand how the universe works, which I think is a worthwhile endeavor on itself.

Why are countries like China also investing so much in space? Because that's where the future is. China has plans for space-based solar panels, international lunar bases, and space science and research. You don't hear much about that, do you? Why would China invest so much in space, just to compete with other countries? No, it's because there are real tangible benefits, from the scientific to the technological to the purely economical, into having a strong space industry.

The USSR knew about this. Much of the Space Race was also a weapons race, this is a sad fact. But when you read about so many of the experiments in Saluyt and Mir, most of them were from the perspective of securing a real presence in space that could bring benefit to people on Earth. From Earth imaging (now mostly done by satellites, to communications, to outright manufacturing. Same with lunar base plans. It all had the intention of not only stroking egos, but bringing real benefits to Earth and building steps into a permanent human presence in space. This wasn't utopian, and in fact, it was military meddling (much like corporatization in the US right now) that prevented the Soviet space program to reach even greater heights.

But my point here is that there isn't only a "wacky billionarie ego trip" push here. Space exploration can and will benefit the people of Earth, and becoming an interplanetary and one day interstellar society will be a great accomplishment. We are in the technological threshold to achieve this, and I believe that as society progresses through class struggle, space exploration will be a pride of a united and peaceful world, something, much like art, much like sports, much like science, much like those things humans do because we can, we can all participate and appreciate.

[many-but-one]

I didn’t want to derail your post, @the-alarm-system because I felt that your post is important and should stand on its own, but I also wanted to address that you screenshotted my tags here:

I want to explain what I meant by my tags, as I feel like you may have misunderstood what I was saying. l am supportive of endos existing. I've made that clear on more than one occasion on my blog! I meant I don’t like the phrase “the future is plural” because of the ambiguity of it and the fact that it’s been so misconstrued by so many. I feel like a better phrase that is less likely to be misunderstood would benefit the plural community but I’m not sure what that could be.

From the lens of endogenic plurality flourishing + plurality acceptance and education, I don't mind the phrase "the future is plural." I know plenty of endo systems and they are fine people who deserve to exist how they like! The only reason I don’t like that phrase is the ambiguity and how misunderstood it tends to be, and like I said, I think a phrase that is still concise but less likely to be misunderstood would be useful. I just, again, don’t know what that would be. I truthfully think it tends to be misunderstood because traumagenic systems are applying it to their own experiences (it’s what I did and why I was not liking the phrase at first, not realizing it was referring to endo plurals) and so of course we wouldn’t want the future to be plural because that means kids are being traumatized. However, from an endogenic system’s perspective and them applying it to their own experience with plurality, I can definitely see why they coined the phrase and mean it in the “I want more systems to exist” because a majority of endogenic plurals don’t see their systems as having come from trauma, which means endo plurality increasing =/= children being traumatized in order to exist as plural.

As an aside, I needed to update my “lean toward anti endos” verbiage anyway. I wrote that like…a year ago, maybe more, when I was still on the fence about the whole thing. At this point I’m pretty sure most anti endos aren’t a fan of my stance and so wouldn’t want me associating with them anyway. I say syscourse neutral because I don’t take sides in syscourse and typically don’t engage with it as much as possible for my own sake. Syscourse feels like a toxic minefield more often than not and I don’t like participating. I’m chronically terrible at updating my socials, so than a recent deletion of all of our alter info on our pinned post + an updated DNI, I don’t think we’ve updated that top portion in ages. So, thanks for pointing that out so I can change that as I didn’t realize that was still there.

Normally l'd ignore your reblog/tag screenshot but I just want it to be clear where I stand on the subject and don't want people who don't follow me to see my tags and see me as an endo-unsafe person. I am syscourse neutral in that I don't take sides, but I support endos existing. I used to be firmly anti-endo but l've changed my stance and am trying to be a better and less hateful person. I’ve said some hateful things about endos in the past and I want it to be made aware that I’m not the same person I was a few years ago (literally and figuratively, lol, I was very bitter, angry, and hateful toward MY OWN existence as a system, but with a lot of healing and acceptance of MYSELF I have also realized I needed to be more accepting of others too, even if I don’t fully understand them) so I wanted to nip your assumption in the bud and take a moment to explain my stance a bit more so my endo followers know I’m not against their existence. /gen /nm /just trying to explain myself more than tags would allow LOL

[captainmera]

Uhhhhhhhh

Do you happen to have a tut on how you draw your little poses? Like when you draw you? This is like a very weird question but I am in dire need of help with poses and I absolutely adore all the ways you draw them (and just in general)

Totally fine if not though,😭🫶

STEP.1: draw head.

STEP.2: choose an expression and then draw what you want the hands to be doing/gesturing. (think body language and emotion)

STEP.3: draw body as quick and flimsily as you can using lines in the shape of only C's S's and I's.

if you look at most of my quick sketches or doodles, a lot of the lines are just wonky CSI's, it's called the CSI-method. As a comic artist you just wanna communicate a pose as best as possible without lingering too much. At least if you do full colour + background + character designs + camera work + storytelling + and + and + lots of things... You don't have the time, you just wanna get to next page, tell the story.

And, like...... Allow yourself to draw crappy once in awhile and post it anyway. Idk if you've read my webcomic but there are very obvious pages where it's like WOAH MAMA THAT'S EFFORT and then there are pages where they all look like muppets. But it also makes the cool pages look even more BAMF thanks to it, it gives everything a nice melody and bounce from page to page.

I am inconsistent and I use that to my benefit by leaning into it and letting it punch emotion home more.

it's about communicating a feeling, I think, rather than always being accurate.

I am actually-- really, really, bad at dynamic poses and camera work. Like, legit super bad at it. I bullshit everything, lmao;;; I encourage anyone to also bullshit, and use references if you want! Like go! Whatever makes it fun and less stressful.

see? it's all nonsense but it looked nice anyway haha!

I didn't really consider perspective or anything, I'm trying to teach myself to draw from different angles and it's hard because I like my face-forward-camera lol. But I was focusing more on framing:

so that colours and shadows highlight the scene, so I can say more with one panel than I could with words. It's about the CINEMA~~!

Or, if you close your eyes and then open them. Where does your eyes go? That's the flow of your art. Sometimes it goes in different directions, but there will be key areas your eyes are drawn to. In this image, Hunter will most likely be first, Good! And then secondly Camila, also good! ... Sometimes it's the pizza as second, less good but it still works.

MY POINT IS

THE POINT IIISSSSSS---!!

As long as you have fun playing around with it, you'll learn from it. Don't hate the process, learn from it. If you just relax it'll definitely look better anyway.

My fanart looks better than my serious stuff sometimes lmao, because I put too much pressure on a perfect finish and that just works against the grain of what I'm actually, like, good at doing.

I AM JUST SAYING WHAT WORKS FOR ME.

You should absolutely study backgrounds and perspective and anatomy!

I'm just saying that, like...... It's okay if it isn't perfect. You wont die, people will like it, you'll like it. It's OKAY.

idk if this is what you asked for but I hope it helped.

[silverskye13]

Augh that last oneshot was wonderfully painful. I think if I was in that world, and learned I had a hels, I would be SO horribly angry at the universe. Like, how dare it say this other person's life is worth less than mine? How dare it create a whole person, say that they're only a part of me, when they're distinct and independent? How dare it put someone's blood on my hands to change me for the better? I think I'd become a knight just to crusade against the universe.

Heyo! Didn't mean to leave you in suspense, and absolutely no harm done <3 I am really busy throughout the day, and most of the time the one or two asks I manage to answer for these one-shots is all I have time for before sleep.

I'm glad you like the worldbuilding [and also the one-shots so far!]

I feel like "the universe" is almost becoming its own, somewhat meta character at this point, like a stand in for the hand of the author almost, but more mindless. It's anything unfair about one world and favorable about the next, and I like how it's starting to work as a kind of... Forced perspective. As a reader [or a writer] we're always aware that for most stories, an antagonist is only ever a change in perspective. If we had the whole story, the line between "good" and "bad" would be a lot harder to distinguish. Since a protagonist is well established though, "good" and "bad" sort themselves neatly, and you have the benefit of rooting for your perspective to win.

But "the universe" vs hels has turned into the idea of that forced perspective being biased. The "good guys" really are only good by benefit of perspective, and when you're locked on the other side of that wall, pigeon-holed into the karmic retribution of being the antagonist, the uphill battles you fight when the "good guys" win are uniquely unfair. It's added a new layer to the story I didn't anticipate, a god-like narrative character that everybody gets to squint at skeptically and go, "Hey, wait, that's not fair." Maybe you don't want any character to come to harm -- maybe you very much do. But regardless, you would expect "the universe" to at least have the decency to be fair about it and not pick favorites. Something as inherent to character-ing as simply existing in the story shouldn't be biased... But it is.

Anyway all that to say, I endorse you becoming a knight of The Order of Balanced Scales, and wish you luck on your crusade!

[achillescomehome]

[picture id descriptors at end of post]

okay these commenters just... get it. not to say my other commenters don't, but i adore when people pick up on the subtle hints i drop when the gods' perspectives pop up that they're in a human-like form, but it's a mask and will always be a mask. okay, so maybe it's not always subtle, but i don't like actually defining exactly what they are. whatever i can come up won't be fitting or as good as whatever each reader's mind comes up with personally. like, sure, i can strip them of their mortal personas (which... is what it is. personas. facades. masks.) but it's up to my readers to fill in those gaps. is it a fully defined, enraged, otherworldly being? is it nothing but a black blob of teeth and eyes and pure hunger? who knows.

and i love, love, love what bakedbean15 pointed out: what poseidon and co. are doing is morally ambiguous. that's exactly what i was hoping to convey: that poseidon and triton and amphitrite can make all the jokes they want, tease percy until he leaves the room and play as many card games as possible, but they will never fully be understandable. nor will their morals align with humans. they are gods and at the end of the day they will act as such, and if that means all but feasting on gabe's pain for their own benefit and pleasure more than for percy's sake, then so be it.

another layer i love people picking up on is that they're not just gods, they're gods of the sea. they're part of the sea itself, and that's a whole new realm of morally ambiguous. who tells the sea what she can and cannot do? no one. the sea does not answer to the sky or to the earth. in fact, both can be seen answering to her.

anyway, i wanted to giggle and kick my feet about some of my fav comments

______

[picture id descriptors]

[Picture ID: Archive of Our Own comment from frostd0nuts on Chapter 7: “"For kindness was not natural to gods; it was a learned habit." and now we have an additional layer of insight into just how precious percy is to poseidon, as well as amphitrite and triton. once you've endeared yourself to the gods, they will love ferociously...and to protect, deal pain in equal ferocity.”]

[Picture ID: Archive of Our Own comment from Livon_Saffron on Chapter 7: “This was beautiful and I am satisfied so much like being so hungry and suddenly your most delicious juicy filling food appears in front of you. I loved the part of Amphitrite raging. And especially as you stripped the gods of their mortal personas, to show their ugly beautiful chilling true divinity. That mortal were learned, but their true essence never went away, it just slept like a chained monster. Also my fav torture part was her ripping his throat out.”]

[Picture ID: Archive of Our Own comment from annievvv7 on Chapter 7: “Oh, you so brilliantly described the ancient Gods nature. They are so powerful forces of nature that are nearly incomprehensible to us mortals. Gods are the souls of those powerful natural forces/concepts that we cannot explain or understand. Their nature is destructive and I think our ancestors who had lived closer to nature they understood these forces better. They knew they need to appease these powerful beings with sacrefices to not be destroyed by them. I had chills down on my back reading your descriptions of the ancient spirits of the Gods. Thank you for the update. I love Amphitrite so much, she loves Percy as her own I hope we will see her being friends with Sally. As she admires her for her persevearence. Hehe one of my secret concept is a polyamorous relationship developing between Poseidon Amphitrite and Sally.”]

[Picture ID: Archive of Our Own comment from bakedbean15 on Chapter 5: “OKAY I LOVE THIS FIC AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT SO BUCKLE UP BECAUSE IM ABT TO WRITE A FRICKIN ESSAY

first of all, love the epic references, and i am absolutely obsessed with ruthlessness rn, and also the bit abt the birkenstock made me wheeze 🫠

there are two main things i love about this fic. firstly, the personification of the sea. its so poetic and beautiful and it really has such a huge impact whenever it's brought up. i love it so so so much. second, the fact that poseidon is very much so behaving like a god. he's nice to percy, sure, but he has absolutely no mercy for gabe. even just killing him isnt enough for poseidon, and i think i think it brings up some big questions. and not to spoil the fun here, because i know we all love to see gabe getting a taste of his own medicine, but is what poseidon is doing truly right? of course, gabe is a monster, but hypothetically, real person smelly gabe, was in fact also a person, with his own traumas and fears and things that made him the way he is. it's no excuse, but I wouldn't say hes inherently evil. (dont misread me here, the stuff he did was WRONG AND MESSED UP) and the bit about keeping the whole torturing gabe thing from percy just proves that this isnt for percy, poseidon, triton, and soon amphitrite, are doing this for themselves. which is morally ambiguous and very on brand for greek gods.

sorry for writing the longest comment ever, im excited for the next chapter 😭😭”]

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbtinotes 22yo INFJ here. I recently lost a friend (INTJ) after dating her briefly. After breaking things off, there was a lot of hurt on both sides that we weren't able to reconcile. I ended up blocking her to move on, since then have unblocked but never reached out. This loss has been eating away at me every day since and I can't stop thinking about my mistakes or feeling like a failure. At the same time, I don't think maintaining a friendship was benefitting either of us.

There was a lot of drama over how I handled the breakup, and it was messy since we both still had feelings but she no longer trusted me. I also think we were in somewhat of a codependent relationship and my thoughts about her are obsessive. I constantly wonder what she's thinking and whether or not I can "fix" things despite the damage done. I've always had self esteem issues, social anxiety, and I believe have struggled with depression for a long time.

I know I have good qualities and my friends remind me all the time, but I just don't see myself that way, and I've always struggled with dating and this falling out with my friend has put me even deeper into my issues and made me more aware of them. I still care for her a lot, but I don't know if reconciliation is possible and am afraid of repeating the cycle, and she's villainized me at this point anyway. I honestly have no idea how I'm supposed to build myself up from here.

----------------------

The best way to have healthy self-esteem is to be a person of integrity. It means making decisions primarily from the perspective of your better self, with a view of the bigger picture (Ni). It means doing whatever is necessary to preserve every person's well-being, including your own (Fe). It is never too late to choose integrity. The sooner you choose it, the sooner you can get to a more positive place in life. The path to integrity is a lifelong process of learning how to be the person you're really meant to be.

When it comes to failure, having integrity means owning up to mistakes and learning to do better. The way is: face facts, take full responsibility for everything that was in your hands, and resolve the situation to the best of your ability.

Resolve is not the same as fix. "Fixing" is usually motivated by an egocentric desire to assuage guilt, silence regret, or unload resentment. By contrast, "resolving" should be motivated by care and empathy and a genuine desire to do what is best for everyone involved. Negative feelings must be laid to rest and everyone must be allowed to move on in the most positive way possible. Resolution can be a difficult process and might require several steps, for example:

Contrition: For the sake of learning and personal growth, do a full accounting of all the things you have done that were hurtful, harmful, or morally problematic. Make a list and review the reasons why you engaged in such behavior. Feel your remorse fully, and make a choice to forgive yourself by accepting that you are human and still have much to learn about how to make moral decisions.

Atonement: Issue a detailed and heartfelt apology to everyone who was negatively affected by your behavior. Provide an honest explanation for why you behaved poorly, without making excuses or deflecting responsibility. Ask for forgiveness, recognizing that you are not entitled to it and do not have control over whether it is granted. In your own mind, forgive others their mistakes, for the sake of your own well-being, because you do not want to keep carrying around the heavy burden of a heart poisoned by resentment, anger, or hate.

Closure: Do a full accounting of all the things you appreciate about the person and the relationship you had together, and say thank you to them. Express that you hope the negative experiences won't erase all the positive experiences you've had together. Sincerely wish them the best going forward. Grant everyone the freedom to open a new chapter of life.

Blame is always counter-productive to relationships. Since the relationship is basically beyond repair, continuing to play any kind of blame game (whether blaming yourself or her) is only going to keep you stuck in negativity. It sounds like blame was a significant factor contributing to the breakup, so it's time you learned a better way of handling painful feelings via improving your emotional intelligence. You need to get back in touch with your caring and empathetic side in order to let go of blame and leave the past behind.

You've had many opportunities to end the situation but instead chose to continue it. At some point, you have to make a decision as to whether your energy is better utilized moving backward or moving forward - you can't have it both ways. When you choose to move forward, feelings will fade as time passes, and you'll get better perspective from which to learn important lessons, lessons that will hopefully better equip you for success in future relationships.

Remember that the process of grieving a loss and healing from it cannot begin in earnest until you release yourself from the compulsion to fix and, instead, move toward full acceptance of reality.

[charles-leclerc-official]

I was talking to my psych teacher about biases in experiments and the importance of planning procedures around them when I started telling them about what I'd noticed in journalism and stuff and I finally put words to the thoughts I'd been having:

Biases are inherent to people, like people will be biased it's not something we can change, people can make efforts to be objective but I feel that some amount of bias will always seep through, which is fine! But what I find really really annoying is when people claim to be unbiased and then VERY CLEARLY have biases, which again is pretty common if not annoying, but the thing that pisses me off is when these people expect their audiences to believe that their very biased opinions are fact instead of what they actually are

Like I know its a lot to expect from people nowadays to be able to critically process things without letting their personal feelings cloud any information but it's still irritating

Like I myself am biased towards things but I don't pretend my opinions are anything but opinions unless there's factual data to prove my point

I really appreciate your blog because even when your analysis is pretty fucking filled with actual solid data to back you up your still pretty clear that you have preferences, and that's something I rlly respect

I used to have problems bc I used to take everything too seriously and if I saw even one negative thing someone said I'd start spiralling and internalising shit, like the f1 fandom doom posting would have honest to god actually affected my mental health, but I worked and am still working on it and I regret getting into sports a little but I've loved it soo much for so long I'm like ill just cope fuck it

Blogs like yours and brakeboosted and umm ackshually on twt are super lovely and I really appreciate all you guys so much

Anyways sorry for ranting I just have a lot of feelings about this stuff

Hi, yes I completely agree. One of the reasons for the name of this blog is to hold myself accountable for bias, and also to advertise to anyone who comes upon it exactly where my bias lands. My frustration with the clear bias under the guise of objective reporting in F1 is one of the reasons for this blog to begin with. Got very tired of the way Ferrari and Charles were being reported on. But also just to have a source where is bias is clear and people can choose to take it or leave it. If that makes sense.

I can't get rid of bias, it's a sport we all have favorites. What I can do is try to be aware of it as much as possible and be open about that fact. I do go to a lot of trouble to make sure I am being fair, I always look at what the other perspective is, what the other driver and their fans are saying, how they are interpreting things(naturally through their own bias as well)

I like the facts and data because I can't really lie. Especially with the raw data. I can't make Charles look faster if he wasn't faster etc. It helps ground my own opinions as well to see if what I think I saw is actually reflected in data.

Biases are normal to have, and I think it's important and healthy to reflect on them, try to be aware of the ones we have and take it into account when presenting information and sharing perspectives and opinions. I am naturally always going to be inclined to give Charles the benefit of the doubt. I try to see if that is warranted and see what the other side is saying and if they have a point.

And this issue goes beyond F1. Journalists for other areas often have clear bias but try to present themselves as neutral. It's frustrating and isn't helpful. I'm just doing what I want journalists to do, just come out and admit your bias and we can go from there. It's healthier and more informative that way. It's not possible to have a fully objective opinion with no preferences one way or another. So to combat that I try to make my stance clear. Sometimes I think I could do better, so it's an area I am always working on.

Thank you anon, this is a good topic to bring up and a good thing for people to think about when reading reports and the like.

[tadpole-apocalypse]

Working out how Astarion’s act 2 confession goes in my head. I always pick the non-araj confession, the one that’s locked behind killing Yurgir now. I really like that he’s beside himself with guilt enough to approach Tav about this, and I prefer how he confesses his sexual insecurities. Also just the fact we even get two different act 2 confession scenes is crazy to me.

Under a cut for length:

Morgan didn’t really know what a vampire was when she met Astarion because of her sheltered cult upbringing. Her only reference was vampire erotica she likely read at some point after she got out, which definitely glossed over the horrifying monstrous aspects of vampirism in favor of the sexy ones.

Their early sexual encounters were fun and satisfying but she wasn’t overly impressed. It was very standard romance novel level sex with little of his own personality. But he was attentive and thorough and technically very proficient and she liked that. She gave him a lot of leeway for being so hot…he has pretty privilege for sure. She writes him off as a fuckboy, brats it up in bed to poke him for reactions because it’s funny to her. He shows his personality more when he gets pissed off and when he gets blood and that gets her attention. It impresses her, to see him acting selfishly in bed when she is able to goad him into doing so.

She’s blindsided when he confronts her. She is someone who generally knows what’s going on with most people she interacts with; gentle prodding with detect thoughts to test their mental defenses, then peeking into their surface thoughts and intentions. She’s extremely good at doing this undetected to all but those experienced in mental magic. With Astarion she can’t do that, not without brute forcing her way into his head with the tadpole, anyway. But detect thoughts doesn’t work on undead, and she didn’t think it mattered because she thought she had him figured out; he wanted sex and her blood. Easy.

She totally fell for his seductions if not his cheesy performance and was only just starting to put together that wow…he was actually a bit more fucked up by what happened to him than she realized at first. This his slavery wasn’t hyperbole and he hadn’t living an existence that allowed him to reap any benefits from his condition. That his slavery included mental, physical and sexual torture that lasted longer than her human perspective can really comprehend.

It’s very hard for her to deal with at first. The revelation leaves her feeling humiliated, panicked (how could she have read things so wrong?), anger at herself and at him for making her feel like a fool. Shame, for teasing him as a poncy fuckboy with a blood fetish.

However she is emotionally mature enough to handle those reactions appropriately and recognize the severity of him revealing this to her face and it forces her to examine her own feelings and motivations. Him admitting he wanted their fake relationship to be real, that she deserved something real, was a gut punch.

They have some similarities in that they were both controlled in their own ways by powerful men with delusions of godhood and dealing with having their own autonomy for the first time, she’s just much further along in her healing. She’s had ten years to adjust and also the benefit of therapy (the cleric that rescued her started a counseling service for adventurers in Baldur’s Gate ☺️)

She feels bad that their relationship up until this point was the best relationship he’d ever had. His only one! She wants to be nicer and be better to him. They stumble over boundaries a bit until they get it settled by act 3 when they are firmly in their ride or die phase for each other.