#the more you do something the easier itll get so even tho its annoying something being annoying is better than being unable to do it right

[randomwords247]

Me after finishing my latest commission: Man thank goodness I don't have to deal with strict perspective anymore I love doing backgrounds but having to rely on vanishing points can really make my head hurt and I'm just glad I don't have to do that anymore and can take a break a-

literally me right after with the next artwork I'm working on:

At least its not 2 point perspective but still gosh darn it why do I keep DOING THIS TO MYSELF

[muwur]

do u think u could write something fluffy for atsumu? :D (if not, bc he just showed up in the anime, futakuchi?) nd they/them pronouns pls :3 ty ty!!!

dating headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for atsumu and futakuchi

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.6k words

a/n: oml my first request fgrinffej thank u anon <3 been doing sum ~research~ and brainstorming snaccing and i hope this is okay ! >:) for u i shall do both ppl hehe. feel free to lmk if you would like me to redo or add anything, i wanna do my requests justice :*)

also i find myself gettin inspo at 4 am ofhfuohf i hope this is a bit fluffy, tho its a bit playful n snarky as well fnoggrefjf. also this took me so long bc i literaly got this whole other idea LMAOOOO but i find it more suitable as a separate piece so be on the lookout for that (nudge nudge itll feature atsumu ;) i got a bit carried away AAHA). here u goo

atsumu

✧ boi’s a tease

✧ on days he stays really late to practice so like?? most days LOL  you drop by a nearby eatery and pick up some fatty tuna (or something else, you like to change it up sometimes even if fatty tuna is his fave)  for him to munch on (gotta replenish your body!!)

✧ even though it’s for him, he’ll make you share the food with him as you both sit on a field nearby the gym

✧ likes to feed you but exaggerates it just to mess with you

✧ “say ahh, y/n” he coos with a smirk when he holds out some food from his chopsticks

✧ and just to mess with him back, you close your mouth around the piece, taking it from the chopsticks slowly and never breaking eye contact with him until after you chew and swallow

✧ “ah, that was delicious, honey” you smile cheekily

✧ rip atsumu, he malfuncc inside

✧ however

✧ fights you for the last piece of any food or snack you’re sharing

✧ “why even offer sharing if you’re just gonna hog it all”

✧ “you were just slower than me, that’s not my problem”

✧ in the end, he would definitely just let you have it. Only fights you when hes bored and wants to provoke you, which is often

✧ pretty affectionate in public. likes to ruffle your hair or place a head on your hand, no matter what height you are

✧ especially likes to do this when you’re annoyed at him, which kinda makes it not cute anymore and you just wanna punch him in the face

✧ as annoying as he could be tho you had to admit that your bickering could be quite fun he was definitely a caring partner

✧ is quick to take notice how youre feeling, liek:

✧  “hey, are you feeling okay?”

✧ “yeah im fine, why?”

✧ “you know you dont have to lie, right? you cant hide these things, anyways, i can just tell if something’s up. what’s wrong, babe?”

✧ pulls you aside to talk things out a little, then offers to spend some time together after practice  

✧ squeezes your hand as he walks you home, plants a soft kiss to your forehead before parting ways, and says goodnight

✧ he also notices any changes, no matter how small, in your appearances:

✧ *scrutinizing you* “what do you want, atsumu?”

✧ “did you do something different today? maybe like with your hair or uniform or something?”

✧ “o-oh, yeah, i did.”

✧ “hm. it really suits you, actually.”

✧ “oh, thanks. it’s such a small change, i didnt think anyone would notice--”

✧  “dont get too ahead of yourself, i didnt say it looked nice-- im kidding, im kidding!” he has to say in order to defend himself from your piercing glare

✧ lowkey highkey cant go long without seeing you

✧ so when he finally gets to spend some time with you, he’s even more touchy than usual

✧ you eye him suspiciously before saying, “you’re acting like you missed me or something”

✧  “yeah, i did miss you. something wrong with that?” he asks, burying his face in your neck as he hugs you from behind

✧ “yes, because its been two days”

✧ expect lots of kisses and hugs, though. mans is deprived and he gets what he wants (with consent, of course)

✧ makes sure everyone knows he’s there to stand up for you if necessary, which can be pretty intimidating

✧ loves it when you fall asleep on his shoulder. will take selfies with your sleeping face and show you later

✧  “you look cute even when you’re drooling all over my arm”

✧ doesn’t talk about how he sniffed or kissed your head when you were asleep. definitely doesn’t admit how he was whispering about how lucky he was to be in love with you asdfghjk

✧ was the first to admit he loved you

✧ it occurred after his team won a game to qualify for nationals. excitedly, you raced your way to meet him and tackled him in a hug. who cares if he was sweaty. “i knew you guys would win, and im so proud, atsumu.”

✧ he stumbled a bit and hugged back. he pulled away shortly to look you in the eye

✧  “y/n, i love you.”

✧ and all you could do was blush before he pulled you into a soft, yet passionate kiss

✧ surrounded by like. literally everyone lol

✧ osamu just fake gags in the background

✧ later that day:

✧  “sooooo do I get a reward for winning ? ;)”

✧  “dont push your luck”

✧ but you do spend the night just chilling at his place, watching a movie and cuddling, unwinding from a long day

futakuchi

✧ you met each other in class, bonding over how bored and sleepy you both were

✧ one day he started passing you notes and you went with along it until this class’s purpose in y’alls lives was just for goofing off and totally not to see each other’s smiles or be a bit flirty

✧ loves to mess around with you, but also thinks highly of you

✧ shortly after you started dating and met the boy’s volleyball team, moniwa asks you to please keep futakuchi in line

✧  “babe, please, you’re driving your seniors crazy”

✧ but ever since he became captain, you could sense that futakuchi seemed more responsible

✧ but poor bby was also wayyyy more tired than usual

✧ you poked his back with your pencil whenever you found him dozing off in class, just in time before he risked getting caught by the teacher

✧ you also nagged him about getting more rest and maintaining his health, doing things to help him out until he gave in and made a better attempt at taking care of himself

✧ unless you have other activities going on, you’d usually come by the gym to watch practice and then walk home with futakuchi

✧ you always bring him and his team snacks. they all love you, especially koganegawa

✧ “how are you and y/n dating, they’re so much nicer than futaku--”

✧ cant even finish his sentence before the captain smacks his head and poor kogane chokes on his snacc

✧ but les be real you also go to admire your manz

✧ on the walk home one day:

✧  “you hit a really good spike today”

✧ sheepishly scratches the back of his head, “oh, thanks. kogane’s sets are improving, so it’s getting easier to hit the ball”

✧ secretly loves and craves your praise

✧ futakuchi’s pretty down for pda. you two can often be seen walking down the aisles, hand in hand

✧ will also give you lots of pecks, especially on your cheeks and lips

✧ he also insists on helping you carry your things

✧ wants you to rely on him

✧ saw you shivering once and took his jacket off, draping it around you like nbd

✧ lets just say he wishes he coulda thought of that sooner dhqnwxhgergk  youre not allowed to look this cute

✧ but now you literally keep half his closet in your house cuz he always tells you to return it whenever you want

✧ could go on dates anywhere and literally have such a good time. the night market? y’all will share foods and play games the whole time. the park? he could go for a nice, relaxing walk, or if it’s at night, he’d love to lie in the grass and admire the night sky with you (as long as you hold hands lol). at home? would totally binge some shows or movies with you, has sour gummies n a blanket ready to share hog

✧ can be a tease, but will protect you at all costs

✧ glares at anyone who looks at you with interest (boi gets jealous)

✧ had to pull you into his arms and give you a kiss to save you from getting hit on by someone from a rival school. “hey babe, i’ve been looking for you. let’s head back, everyone’s waiting.”

✧ you happily follow him, not noticing how futakuchi looks back at his now sworn-enemy and sticks his tongue out at them

✧ he will fIGHT anyone who hurts you, is very overprotective to say the least

✧ always makes sure he knows where you’re at, starts to worry a bit if you’ve gone mia

✧ got reallly worried one time when he called you like 5 times and you didnt pick up!

✧ 20 minutes later his phone rings and he picks it up immediately. “hello? y/n? are you okay?? you haven’t been answering me for a while.”

✧  “ahh, yes, im sorry about that, my phone died :P”

✧ thinks the best cuddles are the ones in which you both end up falling asleep. also likes to admire your sleeping face totes not a creeper

✧ also loveloveloves to snuggle you from behind and bury his face in your neck and loves to just smELL you

✧ you told him you loved him first

✧ you were having a rough day when you heard a knock on your door

✧ opening it, you found a futakuchi giving you a small smile and carrying a plastic bag full of goodies. “i, uh, didn’t want you to be alone, so i thought we could hang out for a bit? just us two, your favorite snacks, and whatever else you want to do”

✧ touched by his gesture, you pulled him in by his jacket’s collar and gave him a long kiss

✧ after separating, you looked into his eyes as you cupped his face gently. “thank you, kenji. i love you. this means a lot to me”

✧ ejiufnicenjfdhksujsk he nearly melted in place

✧ later tries playing the pocky game with you, but then y’all forget about the pocky after your first round and stick to the smooching

[l999b]

lol supppppppppp$

hi. i miss u. i know i wasnt your dream girl u know, skinny, beautiful, nice hair, perfect laugh, fit just really good in all, but with those few months i really believed i was enough. and now i miss you so fucking much and i cant do anything about it. u can say u dont love me but i really loved you, and just because u can suddenly admit it doesnt mean i have to pretend that im over it too yknow. but i gotta. i miss you so much. today was really fucking tough. everyone was really sad today but they had someone to seek comfort in. nic w hk, nat w sean, mizah w yihui, nisha w owen, bry and jelli, aini and her class 3 friends, fiq and the y3 seniors. and i just needed someone. and i know im being overdramatic but i just wish i could b w u. all that talk about fmo made me rmb how we started talking and i felt so fucking stupid. like i put myself out there fully bc i thought u felt the same way. and it really hurts that it wasnt what i thought it was. and i really need you. you have been in so much of my swans life and u not being there just added more pain in my heart yknow? and i know youre struggling too. and my heart wants to reach out to you so bad but nic said that struggling and struggling wo me is two diff things. not that it matters bc i dont wna see you in so much pain for whatever reason but yknow. i never once regretted being w u dany but everytime i think about how much youre hurting i just wish like 0.1% in my heart that we never were a thing. then you wouldnt b hurting so much bc i know youre guilty of things w me and i hate that im a reason. bc all i wanted was to make u happy but now im indirectly causing you pain and im so so so sorry. im so sorry you blame yourself and my being a sob of a person doesnt help things but things like these happen and im just being a big baby about it. and i wish u wouldnt b so upset and hard on yourself bc everyone makes mistakes you know? youre not a terrible person and i dont have anything to forgive you for and i wish i could tell you that but im not allowed to anymore. i really hate the way im not supposed to look at someone who means so much to me anymore. im so fucking upset because you cant stand to stay in the same room w me at the same time and im so sorry for making you feel that way. i really dont know whats wrong w me but i hate this so much. and i wish we were never together because my heart feels so heavy and i try to cry it out at night and it just gets heavier and idk what to do. i feel like everyone gets so annoyed when i say i miss you so i cant even say that anymore. i know youre not coming back. and i know what we had wasnt real. but i really wish it was. its been a really lonely long hard week and i really hate acting all cool and happy. its so hard everytime i see you and everything reminds me of you and i cant seem to let you go and i dont know what to do. its been almost 3 months and i know for sure it doesnt take this long to get over someone esp if it wasnt real but i dont know whats wrong w me. i really want to talk to you. i wanna tell u i love u still and i never stopped. but i know it wont be reciprocated. and i know itll hurt more if i say something so ill just keep to myself. i know i always say getting over you was so much easier when i didnt have to see your face everyday, but when intern comes i think im gonna miss you even more and i wont even get to try to see your face anymore. i want you to be happy and id seriously pay for anything to get you to be happy again. in the event that u do find someone who manages to make u happier than ever tho? im so sorry i assumed you were happy. i should have never taken things too far. im so sorry dany. i love you.​

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #9: “i hope that i'm out of the pickle and eating the... pickle” - Daisy

how i feel about merge: https://66.media.tumblr.com/68a1cf13a1ea5ca8ec0c6c8a044f92ad/fdb9160ed3342b6d-08/s500x750/a71a511c4f332aba10424d15b5e074bc9bbe5e0d.gifv

Click HERE to watch Szymon’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Chips’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to view Szymon’s Trust Rankings!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video! Click HERE to watch another of Rob’s Videos!

So here is my i guess merge confessional! LOOK WHAT I DID! I MADE THE MERGE HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Voting cindi out last round was very sad but very needed, i think she was looking to have fun and cause chaos but i need some stability in my life rn, crackhead seamus has not came out yet and he can’t yet LMAO. so what happened is as soon as we merged Szymon approached me and wanted to call, and pretty much went on a rant about how annoying Rob is and how everyones so far up his ass, and that HE HAS THE IDOL!!!! And that Szymon wants me daisy and jules to start working together which i was like OH I LIKE THIS. Going into merge i wanted to reconnect with rob, and then keep my alliances with daisy and gage and try and just use them as shields to get into deep merge and then start causing shit.

In terms of my thoughts on everyone…. Gage i am very torn about. Because he is the person i am closest to on a personal level but i think game wise he just is rlly desperate to not lose. I offered him a f2 on our last tribe which i do intend on keeping my word on, but then as soon as we merge i just felt kinda off about him? And he formed a new alliance with Szymon Rob and Conor and didnt say nothing to me or tried to include me. Szymon leaked it tho and so im like oh ok i see i see. I think he is trying to have his hand in everyones cookie jar, but knowing he wants everything is off putting from an ally stance. But also last night he opened up a bit with me and i think he genuinely does wanna work with me, just perhaps not with Daisy. so i am trying to figure out like what is the right move with Gage, is he someone who can actually commit? and will he defend me if people like rob or conor suggest voting me? idk, but i hope he would.

Daisy: my relationship with Daisy is really strong. I think we have a lot in common personally and game wise we mesh really well. Coming in from embb10 i wasnt sure how we would work together but so far so good. everyday she makes me laugh and i want to keep working with her. Supposedly people are painting us two as a duo but i also think if people targeted us they would choose Daisy over me at this point which means i can embrace and keep working with her however openly i wish. Daisy i think also wants to more so work with Szymon and Jules which is fine by me. I think us 3/4 can work really well, it’s just about finding the right time to possibly take a shot at someone.

Szymon: i wasnt sure how i felt about Szymon at the beginning. Sometimes i thought he was annoying, other times i just thought he was being himself which i sometimes just dont vibe with. But him being really honest about his opinions with people shows that he actually is someone i can work with. i am a blunt person and when others are willing to throw mud too, it means we can work well together. I think he is very eager to vote out Rob and also doesnt want to work with Gage which i’m not 100% sure what my plan is yet regarding both.

Rob: rob is a big threat but only because he is so blatantly talking to everyone. dont get me wrong Rob is a great guy, but he isn’t a great ally just because he talks to me. I also know that he has the idol and clearly I aint the top of his ally list since he didnt include me in the one with gage szymon and conor and he also didnt tell me about his idol. Also every inactive person talking to him is not good bc i dont want his farmer ass to let his sheep target me. I think Rob may go home very early and he wont even see it coming.

chips/brandan: we arent working together. that’s about it.

Conor: we became a bit closer during the swap but i certainly wouldnt say he is an ally. more like a neutral friend. i think conor plans on working with gage/rob/szymon. which doesnt include me. But i dont think he has many other connections such as with dylan or daisy or jules. so im not sure how much he’ll be doing anytime soon.

Lovelis: he seems pretty inactive. itll be interesting to see if i can use our pre-established friendship to kinda pull him in and work with him but i also dont know who he plans on working with or doing. very nice and everyone agrees when he is on he is fun to talk to, its just about activity levels and trying to see if he actually is here to play or not.

Dylan: I LIKE DYLAN. BUT HE ALSO LEFT ME ON READ FOR LIKE 16 HOURS NOW LMAO. He was super fun to talk to on our tribe game night, and then in pms but then he kinda ghosted me but continued to talk in the tribe chat. granted i got rlly sloppy drunk last night so when he was free to talk more i wasnt ;/ So ill be interested to see if we can keep vibing, im defnitely open to working with him bc he seems like he would be fun to strategize and work with, but we aren’t necessarily at that point yet.

Jules: juuuules!!!!! amazing, fantastic, the best. but also not the most active. im interested in working with her and i think she appreciates me being crazy and i appreciate her being crazy too. also she is the main reason i won this challenge SOOOOOO. I think me szymon and daisy have a great opportunity to work with her and form a tight 4 if thats the path we choose to go down. Jules is here for fun and to socialize with people and i think some people are off putted by that but i thinks its fine, i just hope we have fun doing crazy stuff together and not against one another :D

THATS IT! MY MERGE CAST ASSESSMENT.

________________________________________________________________

SO I WON IMMUNITY! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE WHICH IS KINDA EMBARRASING SINCE I ONLY ASKED 2 PEOPLE FOR THEIR WORDS, AND THEN DAISY/JULES/SZYMON GAVE ME THE REST. Honk honk i love sharing, this is what communism is all about! But being immune first is kinda a great thing because it really puts you in a firm spot and allows/forces people to strategize with you. since i am unsure if i can attend tribal/live night it also provides some much needed security early on. i am hoping chips goes home at this first tribal which seemingly everyone is on board with. And then id prefer brandan or lovelis to go in live night. But i think Szymon and Daisy will want to vote for Rob. I am not sure if i want to take that shot yet because it might hurt my chances of working with Gage, but also leaves several more inactive people in. if i was confident people like lovelis and brandan would follow rob out the door that would be one thing, but i think it would make people like conor/gage possibly start targeting szymon/daisy/myself and that isnt a good thing. especially if we can wait to f9, and have 5 directly on rob and he goes home and then theres less potential for us getting outvoted

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

I know I have been sending only really text confessionals right now and I am REALLY sorry about that, since pretty much a lot of my life has FINALLY FUCKING CLEARED UP I can actually start doing them, butttt since I'm a procrastinator on all sense of the word I'm just gonna type something here and be done with it okay?

Anyways, MERRRRGGGEE! I am fucking SHOCKED that I have made it this far. Keep in mind I really don't think that I would have had any issues getting to the merge keep in mind. Other than the shit I was going through early game and then with some other stuff I feel relatively blessed to be here. I made some connections on my swapped tribe which helped me stay around, and then afterwards I pretty much like... I'm here! I wanted to try and win as many challenges as I could just to help me get by, but then again I'm not the most TALKATIVE person in the world so whatever, I'm planning on fixing that now.

ANYWAYS going into live night I am worried. I was playing three games at once including this WHILE working and BEFORE I got COVID so that was.... okay that wasn't really that fun but still WHATEVER I TRIED GURL OKAY? And from the looks of it the first round should be easy with a relative chips boot which I am fine with. The second round though? That's where the primary issue lies. The only name I heard relative to that is potentially lovealis which I am down with. I got Jules who is a Brandan STAN, my Coco loco alliance with daisy/szymon, and other connections I have made with people like rob. Since after Chips leaves we're in the Final 10 during live night that's easier for my mental sanity. and with me/daisy/szymon/rob/jules, that is already HALF the votes. So I feel... good.

I did not succeed at the social queen immunity.

A social queen i am not.

I was told the vote would be me... so I packed my bags.

Then... a LONG time later they want to blindside Rob. I say okay, I'm down knowing I trust no one so trying to hold on to my smallest sliver of hope that this isn't an elaborate lie.

Then we get live round! If I make it that far I'm ready to party!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Final Words

________________________________________________________________

Rob is voted out 6-3-1. He becomes the first member of our jury. We then have LIVE NIGHT! At live night, Lovelis goes home 9-1 and becomes the second member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment for this Episode and last Episode below:

[youmeanlove]

could you talk more about ur s/i dr pepper? im curious abt him and i wanna know how he interacts w wilson

HEH. im gonna use third person pronouns for him bc its easier in this context but!!!

I WROTE AN ESSAY AND IT WONT LET ME ADD A READMORE IM SO SORRY 

hes pretty much how i see my future if i succeeded professionally but epic failed in the emotional and mental department LOL! he’s a heart surgeon (?? maybe i havent decided on a specialty yet bc theyre all sexy) thats just tha tone tumblr post that says “the fact that i am constantly saying strange and unpleasant things is just part of my charm.”

for now unless i think of something better him and james were close in pre-med and medical school that they attended together! different specialties but they were able to talk enough to get rly close to each other and just have that classic gay academia friendship yknow? at that time in their lives they were both pretty..apathetic i guess? driven about their careers, but rly just floating along in other facets of life like their relationships and opinions and all that stuff! it was fun for a friendship but when you start getting gay for your bro and neither of you have the emotional capacity or strength to confront it things start to get a little messy lol...

james at that time was still the kind of veiled selflessness that he is when hes older but he was definitely very much aggressive about umm acting as if he had a complete sense of self and knew who he was/where we was going! it frustrated him that his good pal boston pepper had a habit of questioning everyones motives and feelings out loud which i slike so annoying boston please stop. and so eventually after enough of boston half-trying to place all the weight of their gay feelings on james and james completely ignoring it they kind of got into the ‘i like you and i dont want to so i am going to make myself hate you’ fight! it absolutely didnt work but they did both see it as a mutual agreement to back off and stop talking to each other as much : (((

so they moved on w their lives got jobs separate but close to each other and boston just watched as james got himself involved in 3 whole failed marriages and a ton of other girlfriends like :((( homie im sorry but ur gay.... boston wasnt doing much better tho he became even more like eeuuuuuuu world is a fuck born to say random thoughts that ocme to me in the middle of interactions and push everyone away because im ~~~weird~~~~...if that makes sense???

anyway they started working closely again around the time a year or two before house gathered up his first diagnostician team! it was very awks to see each other again but honestly neither of them rly tried to escape the situation bc like..hi old friend i love you so much lets sadly catch up over coffee....

writing this is making me realize i still havent figured out how we actually end up datingKJHFSJF is this just pining forever???? im not sure but!! their personalities are similar to how they were in college but with more intensity and more aversion to conflict. aka even more skirting around issues!

one thing is that boston is very umm..i guess it would seem to a lot of ppl hes someone that needs to be helped (not to say he isnt but he doesnt exactly like to be seen like that) which is just emotional candy for jamesKFHJFD he definitely worked more to insert himself into bostons life and habits and all that - partly as a way to just enter his life again and stay friends and partly bc he cannot hold back from trying to ‘fix’ ppl. boston was like okay yeah ill roll with this bc i miss my bro even tho it annoys me and makes me hella paranoid

im kind of losing the point here but! over time despite the fact that they both knew their reasoning for acting they way they are isnt really the best At All it did help to foster a friendship again and they do just act gay and kiss each other and dont talk about itJKFHSJ but dont worry itll be talked about it will.....

okay yeah i really got off track what i mean to say is. james likes to hover over boston and offer way too much attention under the guise of just wanting to be a friend and help the guy out! boston knows how wilson is and knows he wants to help boston to help himself and its a compeltely self-destructive selflessness but he wants to pretend he doesnt care and that this is all for friendship! they really offend each other a lot because of the different ways they care and interact but they do share similarities in how they finally Do talk about situations... when they both reach a certain point of frustrations theyll be completely honest tho it can all be a bit aggressive and DRAMATIC.

but no matter what dr pepper is a weird disconnected little man that cares about his patients but not himself (similar to wilson in that way) and all he wants to spend his time doing is sitting on the couch with wilson and complain about the news (which they do often)! 

i guess at this point in the story in my head theyre very clashing in thier personalities but theyre so endeared and in love they just need to find a way to get past their inner issues and how they act in relationships and then boom! gay time! also they need to stop dating ladies theyre gay therye fucking ggay

THIS MADE NO SESNEJKFHSJF I HOPE U CAN GLEAN ANYTHING FROM IT!!!!