#ANYWAY YEAH I DONT KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED BUT IT DID
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fun little update regarding the void
hi! After my (near) success on day 1, I realised that the void is truly not a scam and entering it is not some sort of grand challenge. So, like I did on day 1, I started meditating before sleep everyday. In this post, I have tried my best to explain everything that was happening. I included my experiences from day one to four. I've also included general learnings and observations in the end.
Day 2 as I listened to the person guiding the meditation I experienced this heightened awareness of something yet nothing (ykwim?) I was tapping into something that my brain wasn’t used to, and it freaked me out a bit. I suddenly became hyper-aware of my body—every heartbeat, every breath, the blood rushing in my veins. It was overwhelming, so I ended up sleeping, trying to process what had just happened.
Day 3 I was doing this at 2 am in the night. Suddenly, I felt goosebumps all across my body, and started feeling like something was with me in the room lol. Scared asf, I said my prayers and slept. Day 4 I WAS SO CLOSE! I was meditating, and lost in my own thoughts, I started daydreaming about something, when I felt my mindspace expanding, and I immediately knew I was the entering the void. suddenly extremely jarred, I shifted my body and brought my focus to my environment and the feeling instantly vanished. I tried to bring myself to like daydream and shift my focus away from the 3d again, but I felt this insane pressure on both of my arms, something that happens in when you are in a hypnagogic state or something.
what I learned from my attempts :-
Something I noticed in my attempts was that, I was tired enough that I just melted into my bed, in that heady state where I wasn't like, hyperaware of my surroundings like I usually am. Whenever, the transition happened, I didn't realise it until some time later. I finally realised that that much level of unawareness you have to bring about the 3d to enter. I was probably zoning out, solely listening to the meditation guide or suddenly daydreaming & didn't even realise what was happening.. A lot of success stories match this theme you know, like how they did not realise they were in the void until moments later, or how they experienced the same symptoms that I did and they stayed calm and entered... blah blah blah. Right now, I just need to make it through those uncertain few seconds of the transistion. How? I dont know. I cant bring myself to indulge my mind in fantasties enough to take my awareness off the 3d. but I will enter somehow lol, I know that fact for sure. Was I confident about what I was doing? I wasn't until I saw that I was doing something strikingly the same to these 100% success rate methods, a sort of combo between this one by @catherineaboutlife & the distraction method by @luckykiwiii101 (yeah, the one that's all the rage these days). I believe the reason why these methods work so well is because it is what I have seen 90% of people who entered doing, they were focused enough to focus on something enough like breathing, day dreaming, something, enough to take their attention off themselves and enter. SO focus = key. It doesn't even matter what u focus on.
conclusion:- I literally came to conclusions that 1000 other bloggers come to and preaching all this time lol. Anyway, I am assured & confident that I will enter.
#loa blog#loablr#loa tumblr#loassumption#manifesting#void#void state#void sucess#loassblog#law of assumption#success story#pure conciousness
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Figured I'd try my hand at some Redacted character post/text edits!
[ 1 / ? ]
Credit to @/sainthowlzon for all the Listener icons, and to @/elisacaleisa for their google drive with all the canon icons!
(slightly alternative version of the Solaires' GC edit below the cut bc i had a lil too much fun with what Vincent would name his contacts)
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted memes#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted vincent#redacted honey#redacted guy#redacted azmidi#redacted sweetie#redacted david#redacted asher#redacted treasure#redacted porter#redacted alexis#redacted william#*slaps post* *flextape meme guy voice* now THAT's a lotta characters!#good Lord these were hard to figure out ALT text for. anyone more experienced with describing images feel free to lmk if i did it wrong#i'm trying to both give credit to the images source (when there even is one. text screenshots are usually source-less when i find them)#And to explain what the original images said. And how I edited them. And who's speaking in what message and aaaaaaa ...i Tried#breaking away from my old style of edits by actually changing the OP's handles to suit the characters. but i'm not creative enough to think#-of cool ones so it's just gonna be their names most of the time probably lmao. but i'll leave the original ones unedited if they happen-#-to fit like the Darlin' one did. and sometimes there Is no handle/url in the image to begin with so. i'm playing it by ear#still gonna put credit to the OPs in the ALT text when i can tho. anyways. that's enough overanalyzing meme edits for one night#i spent way too much time on these so i sure do hope that some of y'all find them funny#and as usual with these kinda edits i really hope i'm not accidentally making any that have been done before!#if i ever make a duplicate of someone else's i swear its not intentional i just dont have time to scour the fandom for every existing edit#also i know that's not how iMessages are formatted but i had to find a way to make it clear who's POV we're seeing the convo from so yeah
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hey i feel like we're really sleeping on that time Danny possessed Vlad & framed him for assaulting a minor
Editing with the clip because people don't believe me. Episode is 41: Eye for an Eye.
#Danny Phantom#i think this ties into my other post i made a long time ago about Danny siccing the GIW on Vlad#like we KNOW in CANON that if Danny was even a tiny bit more like Vlad he would literally become a supervillain#villain is such a stupid word i hate how it's spelled. why is it like that#anyways i need to like. rewatch DP cuz i remember shit & then i'm like#did that actually happen. because that sounds too insane#but like. he Did That. didnt he#i think that's what i love about this character. but a lot of people ignore it#Danny is like. gritting his teeth going ''do good do good'' it isnt effortless it isnt easy he doesnt even want to do it half the time#& sometimes yeah he WILL do crimes or get back at people who've been assholes to him or whatever#he WILL use his powers for bad sometimes#he'll be like ''dont do that it's bad'' but like. he WILL do it himself#the whole ''i'm a hero'' thing he's got going on is like. more of a. how do i put this#it's like when you're drawing or writing & saying ''it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to BE''#like Danny isn't a hero sometimes. he's got morals & has a general understanding of good & bad#but also he's 14 & being attacked every day#i would start saying bad words & threatening people that annoy me too man#okay i glanced over the scene again for the first time in years & Danny was literally in the middle of outing Vlad to the whole town???#hello?? are we really ignoring this?????#VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO#this show is so stupid i love it#love how Sam & Tucker immediately backed him up yeah fuck Vlad all my homies hate Vlad#okay you know what. maybe i will do a DP liveblog. i think it would be fun#on daddyplasmius. only posting this on pa-pa-plasma cuz it's kind of just a. weird rant post? kind of? idk
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as alicent defender and alicole fan i really didn’t like this scene
#AND IF ANYONE ASKS#i know its not their fault#im not blaming them i just simply dont like how fast it happened and by fast i dont mean that alicole happened fast because they knew each#but yeah#each other’s for YEARS. i just wanted alicole scene without sex scenes and all we got was sex scenes i dont think they did anything wrong#bad grammar but anyway#does anyone else feel the same way??#alicole#house of the dragon#team green#alicent hightower#asoiaf#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#anti blood and cheese
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Ef's moment of respite at the bottom of the Mariana Trench from amazing story Falling Falling Stars by @not-poignant
#new#my art#I planned a lot of things#but now I am kinda numb emotionally#cause sister's nearly divorce crises and her husband being my best coworker#and me not managing my talks in my head lol#soooo I don't think I will draw anything for a long time#rip plans but life always happens#and maybe it a good thing#anyways#oh how I enjoyed drawing this one!#I've never drew anything bigger than like 2k pixels#and this one was meant to be printed on A3+#and the first time I did the right size for it I was like WHAT? DO? YOU? MEAN?#when I am at 100% it's only one rock at my whole screen#but then I figured out that like... I can draw details ten times moooooore#spending 8hours on one roooock!!!#MORE SPACE#and I dont know shit about proffesional stuff with exposition and placement and shadows and colours#so details everywhere as I go#and I love to think that the portal to the lake with antlers bars is portal to Augus' lake#and I wanted water snails and knitted jelly fish and kinda blanket but water themed so it's a big algue piece#and it just piled up#and the colours feel was the most relaxing thing to look at all the time#yeah#really proud of this one
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confession time!!! can't wait for bt bones
#how is it gonna happen tho#dont know if i like buck prioritizing eddie over t or buck and t just now really meshing more#ooooh#or they breakup cuz t doesnt want kids#thats always good#i dont want to villianize t just because i dont like him (jk i do)#so maybe buck and t just kinda dont work out#like its not a bad breakup its just one those i like you but we wont work long term breakuos#or t says no kids and bucks empty womb is like devastaed so obviously they have to break up (bpreg got to me im so sorry)#or they full send and make t the worst person ever#like fully sides with gerrard and tells buck to play into gerrards bs (not gonna happen but if it did tim i would love you forever)#anyway#cant wait for them to breakup#wait no#the funniest thing would be an offscreen breakup#especially after all that in season 7 hes just gone with buck saying yeah we broke up#💀💀💀#honestly manifesting that even tho its not gonna happen#a girl can dream#okay t hater hours are over#buddie#because ofc#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#sorrh i just dont like him and i dont think canon can do anything to change that#me thinks
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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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Reading Wit's conversation with 'Nomad' in Sunlit man and I'm sitting here like what did you do Hoid. What happened on Roshar. What are the 'events in Alethkar.'
Hoid I love you but if you are the cause of any hurt for my Bridge Four and adjacent guys I will be MAD
#wren reads#sunlit man#sunlit man spoilers#trying to piece things together is fun#theres something homely about roshar beinf Home#like yeah i understood that reference#so true king dirt IS weird#anyway SIGZIL MY BOY#what HAPPENED#stormlight archives#book five is gonna RUIN me#i also love how the word spren isnt mentioned until after this conversation#though if youve read stormlight you pick up pretty quickly thats what aux is#ALSO BRO whyd you break your oath what happened????#are you the only one who did???#he thought wit was kal i dont know how i feel about that aaaah#this is making me wanna reread stormlight#though i might instead do an In Order cosmere read#and catch all the one of books ive missed so far#need to reread dawnshard because i DID read that but forgot most of the signficance
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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oh god youre the skeleton guy i had no idea
a higher power deemed that i must go forth and become cunty as hell. and i said aye aye captain and he put me in the sea and watch that sponge thing walk out of his house in his underwear before the hand of god put his pants on. from there it was all bubbles and boat vehicles and fish and sponge cubes and the sponge bouncing on his logo and playing his nose like a flute. wait no thats not right
#ask#internet-toon#sorry the moment i typed aye aye captain it was all over for me#but anyway hi yeah im still me#just using Gelato as my icon cause i wanted to show him off after so long of having him since June#i'll probably change back to Boe at some point. just kinda vibing with giving Gelato some time to shine#my beautiful guys#i did make a post or two about the change but with how much i reblog stuff it's easy to lose those posts#anyway can you tell i might have adhd <- undiagnosed#thank you for your ask :) sorry sometimes i dont know what to immediately respond with#so ill plop in some photos to get my mind working and end up making myself laugh really hard#kinda funny to me to think about ''huh. there's a flamingo in my feed now and a sudden lack of that skeleton dude. mustn't be related.''#i know that's likely not what happened but it makes me laugh thinking about
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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