#AND MANY THINGS WE CANNOT SEE AND OTHER THINGS WE CANNOT KNOW. IS THERE NO SHAPE FOR WONDER IN THIS WORLD

[thebibliosphere]

You know what, that’s fair. It was a throwaway comment meant to be funny and also poke fun at how few votes this poll actually had (at the time of my reblog it had 3k, now it’s 13k) compared to how many actually chronically ill people are on here re: fromkenari’s comment about feeling out of place because of their dash experience.

(And even then there’s so way the number is so small as 13k because so many people don’t even realize they have a chronic illness because of how these things get played down.)

But reading it in the morning I can see how it doesn't read that way, and that's my bad. I am sorry, I should have either expanded on that or just hit reblog without comment.

- - -

Also, this next bit isn't to detract from anything you just said, all the points above are 100% on the money, I’m just going to do some MCAS comfort here for those of us who often feel excluded by the above and I don’t want anyone to snap back at you for making very valid and true points. This is just currently a sore spot in a few online places.

---

Hey mast cell folk: The above isn’t about us.

I know the most common narrative we see online is that ‘chronically ill people don’t go to the ER because they’re used to being sick’ and it can feel really crummy and alienating when it feels like we’re in the ER every other month (sometimes multiple times in a month) but that's the difference between having a ‘‘‘stable’’’ chronic illness and having an acute chronic illness.

Also, let’s be real, we also don’t always go to the ER when we should because we’re ‘used to it.’

Our bodies just sometimes explode in ways that cannot be mediated without emergency medical attention, making the inevitable debt unavoidable. And let me be clear, it cannot be avoided. There’s a lot you can tough out at home but anaphylaxis isn’t one of them. You’re not bad at being chronically ill, you just have an acute chronic illness.

Going back go my original comment, it might be more accurste to say that we are the Spiders George of chronic illness when it comes to ER trips, but we still count. Click the poll.

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

–

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[psychemochanight]

Honestly, even if I love the new interpretation of Dick as the "angry Robin" that we have these days, sometimes it feels bad that you can't talk about a version of Dick as Robin that isn't like that without getting people saying things like "that's not Dick, he's the angry one, the bloodthirsty one" and... What?

It takes away a lot of depth from the character when people only think of that when talking about Robin!Dick, when, since always, Dick was, quite possibly, one of the best written characters, and one of those that has more nuances to make him a completely human character, not only in the sense of not having superpowers, but of being able to empathize with him.

There are many versions of the story, but the most widely accepted version is that Dick lost his parents at the age of eight, watching them fall because they sabotaged their act, an act Dick probably saw many times, one he knew for sure his parents would never fail... Until it failed, and through no fault of their own.

Dick was a little boy who grew up in a loving family (as far as we know, I still think they were strict, but not necessarily bad parents... We'll talk about the Court of Owls later), and from one second to the next, all of that ended. Even if Bruce was there for him, things obviously weren't the same anymore, they never would be again.

Although many have the idea that Dick escaped from youth center to kill Zucco, in the original stories Dick didn't even know yet about him, at least not that much to know what he really did; but he wanted to escape from juvenile so as not to lose his values, so as not to stop being who he is, who his parents taught him to be.

Even in the lines where he DOES say he wants to kill Zucco, in most cases, when push comes to shove, he wants to prevent Zucco's death. There are some moments where he even confesses that he didn't want Zucco to die, he just wanted justice for his parents.

People now see Dick as the Robin who only saw misfortune and was an absolute menace to society, and while, yes, Dick was an absolute menace, it was only to the villains, who heard a little boy laughing at them before beating the shit out of them. Plus, even as a child he was a master manipulator, both for enemies and allies.

But what about the rest? Robin was supposed to be the light where Batman was the darkness. He was the one who comforted scared civilians when Batman couldn't. He was the sensitivity that Batman cannot afford to show.

Dick Grayson was the one who saved Batman from losing himself in the same darkness that he himself was making his only way of life, and this is something that Alfred has pointed out before. It is thanks to Dick that Batman stopped being the ruthless "hero" he was becoming. Damn, he was the one who softened Alfred's heart in the first place too.

This was the Robin that Superman saw as worthy of carrying the mantle of Nightwing, whom he saw as someone who could represent hope itself.

Bruce didn't start smiling just because of the other Robins like many people now believe, no. Dick was the first to make him smile again, the one who opened the doors for the others.

Dick was always kind and tender-hearted, always joy where there was only devastation.

Even if he was the living nightmare of villains, he was still that cheerful child who wanted to avoid the pain of others. The boy who inspired other heroes, not only because of his skills, but because of his heart.

Dick is a character who, while he is now more recognized as Nightwing than as Robin (which doesn't bother me at all, because that was always his goal when he became an independent hero), he still has a history that people seem to increasingly forget about and pigeonhole his development into something... Flat.

Were there times when Dick had more anger and pain than any other feeling in him? Yes, absolutely YES. But this stage is mostly in his Discowing years, not of Robin as such (I'm not saying there weren't such moments, but there aren't as many as people describe now), or as some animated series showed (I love these series, even if they turned Dick into a feral child who is unable to smile, lol)

Again. I LOVE Dick's portrayal as a feral child and absolute menace to society (which he was), but I also LOVE when artists, writers, and the entire fandom itself appreciates the different nuances of his personality, from his ability to laugh despite the misfortunes in his life, to his sadness that never ceased to be a part of him, until the moments where he could only feel rage and pain and felt that the world was only darkness, unable to see the colors that emerged from the light he projected by himself.

Look at him, he's so cute <3

Does anyone care about this yap? No, but I wanted to let out what I've been repeating in my head for days because people on tiktok have me fed up HAHA

[candyswirls]

For the requests - can I please ask for any Gadriel fluff/smut/comfort (any of these) with fem reader? Thank you!!!

I actually don’t write smut. I got this fluffy idea almost immediately. There’s not enough old women. This kinda took a path all its own.

He huffed as he paced impatiently within his room. What was the lieutenant hiding? Even now he was resting in his quarters after collapsing when they came in contact with those marks of chaos. It was too strange. Too suspicious. He-

“Gadriel,” rasped an old voice just outside the door.

He paused in his anger.

“I know you’re in there.”

He sighed, knowing he couldn’t bring himself to keep her out.

He opened his door, letting an old ad mech shuffle in with her cane. Blue lenses were dim and any bit of skin was wrinkled and leathery. Her legs squeaked.

He took a knee and assisted her getting up to sit on his bed. She stared forward, hand resting on her cane.

She patted his pauldron, “You’re still such a good boy.”

He didn’t move as she reached out and pinched a cheek.

“And still very handsome,” she added. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“You know I never deny a visit from you,” the Sergeant said.

“Mmm,” she hummed. “How goes the fight?”

“We have achieved victories but we suffer the loss of our brothers,” Gadriel growled. “Lyreo and Elion… they are dead. And I wasn’t even with them.”

“You regret this decision?” She inquired. “Not like you to split up your squad.”

He scoffed, “It was not my decision. The captain has placed a lieutenant over my squad. He has my command.”

“You do not sound pleased,” she commented while rhythmically nodding. “Speak to me.”

Gadriel spoke freely, “He does things in strange ways. He is cut off and will not speak to us. I feel as though he is already disappointed with us. Condemning our actions before they have even happened! He shuts down my suggestions despite I having lead this squad before him!”

“It is always difficult to relay leadership to another,” she said. “You always found that difficult. You’ve always been ambitious. Hmm, but I sense this is not all?”

“His past is shrouded in mystery,” he exasperated. “He refuses to tell us anything. I question his motives and who he really is. He was part of the Deathwatch, a noble honor, but acts as if though it is a shame! He also collapsed upon coming across signs of the archenemy. Even now he rests in his room.”

“The captain will not listen to my concerns. He is dismissive. I know he cannot afford internal strife among the ranks and is more concerned with this war. Yet why place the Lieutenant over my squad? I have tried to consider what errors I have made to cause this decision but I am still at a loss!”

She placed a hand on his, signaling to him that it was his turn to listen.

She reached up and smoothed back some of his hair, cold metal brushing his skin.

“My poor Gadriel,” she hummed. “So many questions. So few answers. Perhaps this lieutenant is not here as a punishment to you but as a test. Maybe one from the captain. Maybe from the Omnissiah. Maybe just a simple case of clashing personalities. Do not dismiss your past accomplishments and drive.”

“But-“

“Ah, ah, ah,” she hushed. “You can’t fool me. Astartes pass all the time. Baselines even more. The passing of your squad mates is not your fault. Nor is it your lieutenant. There’s always the case of a better or different choice. We don’t always make them. This is war.”

Gadriel looked like he wanted to protest but chose not to. He wouldn’t dare argue with her solely out of respect.

“As for the suspicion,” she continued. “You are resourceful and academic. You know how to research. If others will not tell you, learn for yourself. There should be records on this Astartes. Reading to gain knowledge and learn of history is the best thing one can do for themselves.”

Gadriel nodded, “I know. You taught me that. I planned to go to the archives soon.”

“Good. I shan’t keep you long. We’ll both be headed the same direction. But I had to come see you though. I always know when one of my boys is upset.”

She cupped his cheek, “You fight hard, you follow your orders, remember the codex and what I taught you. But most of all, remember: you should enjoy fighting for the Omnissiah.”

He nodded and found himself resting his head on her lap.

“Thank you,” he mumbled. “You always put me at ease. I am honored to have you as a mentor. I admit, I find physical affection embarrassing but I appreciate you speaking to me in the privacy of my room.”

She chuckled as she stroked his head, “Like I said Gadriel, I know you. Now come, help an old magos back to the archives. My shipment of new legs won’t be here for a bit and these ones are rusty.”

He helped her off the bed and offered his arm as he assisted her out.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

Hey, I read your post about the harmful impact of saying "going nonverbal" and the like. As a low-needs autistic person who has speech loss episodes, it was really helpful in educating me on circumstances that I never considered, and I really appreciate that!

I have a bit of a question, and if you feel uncomfortable answering for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask. I also apologize in advance if I say anything disrespectful, and if you can correct me on those things I will be glad to hear it so I can learn to be better.

I have DID and therefore am part of a system. We are all autistic, though we each showcase symptoms differently. Some of our alters showcase symptoms more severely than others, in that they cannot speak and cannot communicate their needs because of various reasons (severe dissociation with body, trauma response, etc). Since I now know nonverbal isn't an appropriate term for us, I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on how we can describe those headmates. I'm not sure if they fully fit saying that they have "speech loss episodes", because they are fully unable to communicate at all times (even with the rest of us), though they are not always "in the driver's seat" of the body, so to speak. What do you think would be an appropriate term for them? (I know this might be a bit out-of-bounds of your experience as it's more about dissociative disorders than autism, but if you have any insight, that would be great! I definitely don't want to be using the wrong terminology.)

Again, apologies if this is in any way disrespectful. I see now what you mentioned in your post about how true nonverbal folks are drowned out by folks with speech loss episodes, so I figured it would be best to ask you directly, but if you are unable to answer for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask! No worries.

We hope you're having a nice day!

no worries, not out of bounds for own experience

yep, you exactly right that alter / headmate / system member / etc who can’t mouth speak in system that can mouth speak, is not nonverbal. even if feel like or is own separate person, even if don’t have so called body verbality because so blendy. — just like how alter who can’t hear in hearing system not Deaf, how darker alter in white skin system not Black or Brown or Asian etc. (though these also continue be issue in system community) — n really glad you noticed (genuine)

personally find best n clearest say “[alter] cannot speak”.

have heard people try coin new adjective identity words for this experience. can look those up if want, but for me they 1) too many n confusing n new n thus inaccessible to keep up so don’t, 2) niche micro label which have its purpose n you may or may not find useful, but in situation of limited communication n time, give unheard of term you then have to define take more time n effort than just quick “can’t speak”, 3) some of them suspiciously way too close to “nonverbal” “nonspeaking”

thank you for question!

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

GINGERWREN'S PAYNELAND RECS 2024!

I can't believe we have had Charles and Edwin for less than a year. Even still, we've had a lot of fun! I wanted to share some fics, art, and gifs that made this year worth it for me personally. I was talking to a friend recently, and we noticed recent rec lists seem to be short, tag based lists with no real input from the list writer. Many of them also seem to rec the same few fics. Sometimes I feel left out as a smaller writer, and I know my favorite fics also don't always make it onto these lists either.

So, gentle reader, I will not be making a list of tags and summaries. You can read the tags on the fics and the art work, should you choose to view. I will be telling you why I love the works themselves. This is the best way I can think to recommend work to you.

Without further ado: the list is below.

WRITING

sweeter than honey from the rock - @dearheartdont

This lives rent free in my head. Literally in my mind this is like a lost episode or something. I do not want to spoil it or anything, but some of my favorite things in it are the world building (there are delightfully sympathetic clients, and witty antagonists), Charles does... exactly what one would expect Charles to do in order to help the client and protect everyone, and he makes things temporarily worse for himself. Rest assured though, there is a very, very satisfying resolution. Really, this is such a wonderful fic.

Winter Bloom - @skinnybritishdudes

PINK!!! EDWIN!!!! NOW!!!! This was my request for our server's Christmas exchange and it blew me out of the water. Genuinely, the magical mischief PLUS the subtle horror PLUS the absolute tenderness at the end?? Was everything I wanted, and more than I expected. Friendship ended with my own pink Edwin origin story. THIS is Pink Edwin now. Run don't walk for this one (as you can see, I still have not calmed down I am so excited about this one).

Nothing Left to Hide - @roseganymede95

I know I need to say more than "spider jar" but there's a point where I just start crying softly and going "spider jar" while I am reading. Honestly I'm sure if I said that to you, you would probably know which fic I'm referring to. It's this one. It's brilliant. It rewired my brain early on and I haven't been the same since. I found a spider jar pin because it may as well be canon in my mind. They call each other mine in the fic what more do I need to tell you to get you to read this? Join the spider jar cult with me.

right. never finished it.- taableclofh

A classic. Charles tries to save Edwin from Hell. He figures some things out in the process. (This is canon divergent in the best possible way and was a real balm on the soul, somehow).

molliculi (soft little things)- @williamvapespeare

This was made in a lab to make me cry specifically. The first time I finished reading it, it was two in the morning. I stared at my bedroom wall for like twenty minutes, bleary eyed, and then finally managed to type something to @williamvapespeare (who was really gracious about whatever mess I sent, lol). God fuck. It's a character study on Edwin. It's a history of living and dying in 1916. It's wondering what it means to continue on existing, but never have lived on with your peers. It's an outsider's perspective on Charles' trying to figure things out. Go. Go now. Suffer with me.

All Rights Reserved- @phoenix-soar

Do you like possessive Charles? (There's one right answer and it's yes). This fic is the fic. This also lives rent free in my brain. I wish I could say something more coherent but honestly I do not know how much I can say- well there is this lovely description where Charles compares Edwin's eyes to the sea on a stormy day (ao3 is sadly down, I cannot pull the full quote, but it was gorgeous). The rest... 🌶️🌶️🌶️

The Case of the Omegaverse Portal - miraworos

Omegaverse, as specified in the title. Also a very well written casefic, and some really satisfying feelings revelations. Once again: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

ART

Kiss (Blue) - @ent-is-indecisive

Genuinely A I am just amazed by how lovely all the kisses you draw are. Like they come out stunningly, over and over. I have no idea how you pull off this wizardry but it is amazing. Anyway I picked the first picture we ever talked about but I am also genuinely blown away whenever you drop something in LOMA

Collab Gifset For Payneland Week- @mellxncollie

I know you have all seen Olly's gifs. If you haven't, what are you even doing? (Maybe you're new here. That's okay). It's something special when Olly makes a gifset for your fic. Genuinely, sometimes I just go back and stare at this one because WOW THOSE ARE MY WORDS. BUT ON A GIF. Genuinely thanks for making my first year in the fandom special Olly.

Pink Slip- @arisprite

Ari was super great during the flash sketch commissions and we had a blast. Now this reminds me of ongoing convos that @majorlb @deadboyslullaby and I have (and perhaps one day we will do something more with those) but the point here is Ari is great. You all should go and appreciate the wide range of payneland she has made. Her fem!payneland is dazzling, and so is her sad boy Charles (which I think is the first piece I ever fell in love with).

RITUALS - @deadboyslullaby

THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE. This was a collaboration with @likemmmcookies . @deadboyslullaby worked really hard on the inscription around the edges for this one and I am forever in awe of all the little details here. I want more of them doing strange, arcane stuff together always.

ORBWIN IN CHARLES’ RIBS- @jube-art

This is absolutely what I think is going on when one of them is orbing and the other isn't. No I am not taking feedback. Once more, this was a piece of art that re-wired my brain early on. Ribs are for lovers.

BONUS:

Feathers and Fur - merle_p

Super secret rare pair that rewired how my brain works forever. I love you catcrow. I love you Monty that's a little bit depressed a little bit of a masochist. I love you Thomas who can't help but take in strays but still has teeth and hasn't been declawed in this fic. This fic is just... so... gorgeous*chef's kiss*. I won't spoil it for you, but I implore you to read it so I have more people to talk about this pairing with.

These were all my recs for now. Thank you Dead Boy Detective fandom 2024! We may have had some bumps in the road, but here's to a strong and healthy 2025!

[spadillelicious]

Spadille!! 💭 what inspired you to create LDR?

(Hey Spike!! :D So sorry for taking forever to answer this...!!) To be honest, there are a bunch of different things that inspired me to make LDR!! Firstly, all the amazing creativity of the dca fandom inspired me to make my own AU. It just blows my mind to see all the wonderful art and writing created for our favourite celestial jesters every day! <3 Some AU:s that were especially influential to me that I would like to mention is @/venomous-qwille :s Ghost In the Machine AU and @/certified-handler :s Dealer's Choice AU.

I find Qwille's writing style incredibly painting and immersive, and it inspired me to get better at writing myself. I also really like the way they use music for some of their scenes! (that one scene where Misuta sings a line of Eurythmics' 'Sweet Dreams' hit especially different, and sent me down a rabbit hole of reconnecting with 80s synth music. I still haven't recovered over a year later haha <3 /lh )

And for Certi's writing, I cannot get over how good they are at writing scenes that just fill your heart with butterflies with how suave the dca are in their AU!! They're also really good at writing very tense, high-stakes scenes, and their AU has so many twists and turns that I always struggle to put the fic down <3 I really enjoy how the reader isn't sure who to trust out of Sun and Moon in their fic, which is something I wanted for LDR too :)

Besides the incredible works of the dca fandom, I also really like the aesthetics and nostalgia of the 80s and retro tech, which was something I wanted to include in my AU as well! I grew up with stuff like cassettes and VHS tapes (though not in the 80s), and reconnecting with that stuff felt... healing in a way I guess?

Speaking of 80s stuff, rollerskates have a special meaning to me as well. 

I grew up in a place where there are barely any places to rollerskate, but instead plenty of places to ice skate. It's cheap, and everyone knows how to. But I just suck at ice skating. I've tried to learn my entire life, and I still can barely stand on them.

When I was 15 though, I got to try rollerskating for the first time. There aren't any roller rinks where I grew up, but for PE class in high school, we could choose to rollerskate or play soccer. So I chose rollerskating, borrowed some knee pads and outdoor skates from a nearby YMCA, and for the first time I actually enjoyed skating. 

I still wasn't any good at it, but it was so much more fun than ice skating, and it felt like it was something that was much more... me than ice skating. I will always hold the memories of rollerskating around the lake, under the summer sun with my friends, close to my heart <3

And regarding what inspired the other, less sunny side of LDR... Maybe I'll talk about that some other time.

[omnium-gatherums]

Hey guys, can we like not shame people or make them feel bad because they aren't as educated on CDDs?

I don't even think you guys actually understand "do your own research" or just researching things in general as some of you might think you do, and I don't say this in a shaming way or as if I'm better than you, but many of you (mostly anti-endos) will sit here and complain about people not doing their research and yet will literally state outright myths about CDDs that literally take a single Google search to debunk and it's kinda crazy to me. Like I still see so many of you continue to assert the myth that DID is rare, yet acting like you are educated on CDDs. DID is literally not rare, not as rare as you think or act like it is, and it takes one singular Google search, one singular reading of the page "DID Myths and Misconceptions" on BeautyAfterBruises to even confirm this, or literally looking at any other website that properly educates about trauma, dissociation, and dissociative disorders.

And can we not act like researching is easy? Or like everyone is even interested in researching CDDs?

Sorry, but your average layperson isn't interested in reading complex ass research papers or reading long books with complex jargon in them in order to educate themselves about something, and let's not act like everybody is interested in doing this or as if it's easy.

And this isn't even getting into the fact that so much research is inaccessible, and most people don't fucking know about websites like Sci-Hub or free ways to get books or anything to be able to even ACCESS this research at all.

And this also isn't even getting into the fact of "how do I know if something is accurate?", "how do I know how to READ and UNDERSTAND research papers", etc.

I also don't think you guys actually understand what "do your own research" means - sorry again, but you cannot get a full or better understanding or grasp of CDDs if you do simple Google searches and read like a few webpages or something and be done.

It took me YEARS to research CDDs, and KEEP researching them, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, reading the same things OVER AND OVER again before I really fully started to understand CDDs and really feel confident in my knowledge enough before I ever even started USING this account to educate others. Hell, I didn't start being open about my DID until I was diagnosed just 2 years ago, and I was questioning DID well before that, researching it well before that.

I'm still re-reading things and understanding them so much more and so much better as I've changed, grown, and learned more as a person, and as our dissociation has been slowly chipping away in tiny crumbs.

It's okay to not be super educated on CDDs, and it's okay to not educate others on CDDs. You can simply have a CDD and be a person with a CDD online talking about your CDD and hanging out with others and making jokes and venting and chilling and not necessarily "educating" others about CDDs.

Be kind to people, let's not treat people like shit or shame people just because they aren't educated or something.

And if you are interested in research, being pointed towards more research papers, want to know other fun little tips and tricks to research and how to access things etc., you can check out my post "What You're All Getting Wrong About DID." I poured a lot into this post over the course of many months to put it together, and I truly think it's a truly amazing post to educate people about DID, even if I'm biased :P It's still one of my favorite posts we've made as well.

And if you are someone who isn't very educated, it's not shameful. It's hard and it's confusing and it's not easy!

[nemainofthewater]

Halfway there and currently Caoxiang are winning with 59.9%, followed by Jiang Yanli with 15.6%, and then in third place Everyone from a Journey to Love.

Tag propaganda under the cut.

Note that it contains SPOILERS. As always, the write in propaganda is the last section, so if you're worried about spilers for things not on this list, you can avoid it

Tang Lian

#many of these are very sad and maybe cry#only one of them fucked me up for a whole 48 hours straight though#partly his death and partly the way we got to watch everyone find out and react to the news!#I’m totally fine!!!!!!#tang lian my beloved#the blood of youth by @jianghushenanigans

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang

#tumblr polls#gu xiang and cao weining 😭#not only was it so tragic#but seeing wkx find out and react was heartbreaking also😭 by @there-and-back-again

#look jyl’s was sad af#and tang lian’s had me going nooooooo#and pian ran’s was SO SAD#but nothing hit me like gu xiang & coa weining’s MY POOR BABIES 😭😭😭 by @unfortunatelycake

#jyl and pian ran hurt me#but WORD OF HONOUR DESTROYED ME by @sothisiswhyiamhere

#I never finished word of honor#but I heard about those deaths#that's painful enough right there#though jiang yanli comes second#if we're taking non-cdrama though#ianto jones death still haunts me by @ihavetothinkofaname

#i was between the wow couple and everyone from ajtl#i cried so hard for everyone from ajtl but at least most of them were profesionals who were prepared for their deaths#the happy couple shouldnt have died they didnt know it was coming and neither did we.#the shock just took me out. still does by @fealiniel

#god bai jiu really does deserve that#however. maybe because it eas my first brutal cdrama death. i cannot get over cwn and gx by @nutcasewithaknife

#gx and cwn tore out my heart omg#ive only watched a couple on this list and honestly i was also v upset by pian ran but word of honour takes it by @annagrzinskys

#I only know the first one but that’s enough#I’m still in denial about#word of honor#polls by @auroramagpie

#gx and cwn#i cried. every time i watch the episode i cry#everyone (a journey to love) cracked me up by @dommingjeffsatur

#look I was already spoiled for weining's death but to find out is was THAT guy who killed him broke me by @prideofyunmeng

#so many good ones#gu xiang's tore my heart apart ngl by @jaimebluesq

#Gu Xiang and Cao Weining deserved win :sob emoji: by @measured-words

#all i know hurt#but none like gu xiang and cao weining by @fire-burning-brighter

#GU XIANG AND CAO WEINING#there's something to be said for not being spoiled#cause it was SURPRISING#you know?#it was not expecting the happy ending to go so poorly!#it was watching the train wreck in motion and not being able to stop it#it was gu xiang telling gong jun to KILL THEM ALL#it was cao weining never seeing the betrayal coming!#that HURT ME#cdrama poll#lmao i forgot gong jun's character's name lolol#anyway#THEY ARE ALIVE IN MY HEART#MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WHOM by @wanderingthunderstorm

#GU XIANG AND CAO WEINING HANDS DOWN#i had never cried so hard during a cdrama before by @dripping-moonlight

#omg ouch#it sounds like fangs of fortune is pretty gut-wrenching D:#but i had to vote for Gu Xiang and Cao Weining ;__; by @vergoftowels

#shijie was PAINFUL but good god a-xiang and her dumb boy made me weep#they were SO CLOSE to a life of happiness and the hope of acceptance is what killed them i CRIE#woh by @ouaismongars

#I may have cried a river for Yangli and Tang Lian but Word of Honor was such a betrayal that I had trouble breathing through my tears#spoilers by @cherryvampyyri

Everyone (A Journey to Love)

#but I'm obligated to pick AJTL as a chronic Yuan Lu and Yu Shisan lover (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) by @rose-tinted-vision

Other

#look I know he was a very minor character but teng zijing’s death in JOL had me openly sobbing at work#guest were asking me if I was ok#very embarrassing! to this day I am still fucked up over it! by @bitterfrosts

#bai jiu (fangs of fortune)#there's only for so long I can see a kid being burnt to death while he keeps yelling out his gege's name by @travalerray

#beware the spoilers in my tags#i haven't seen most of these so it's hard to say#but yeah gu xiang and cao weining were rough#it was so much worse in the book too#teng zijing from joy of life was also Not Okay#but if we include animated wuxia then i would say the one that got me the worst#would have to be qiu shenji from da li si rizhi#it has a live action now i think but i'm terrified of it because it looks not even remotely similar to the original story by @sirspamzalot

#yeahhh#literally everyone from fangs of fortune#but especially my baby ying lei by @endrega23

In honour of the fact it is the evening preceding the birth of a religious figure best known for rising from the dead please have this poll.

They are alive in our hearts 😭😭😭😭😭

There are SPOILERS

SO MANY SPOILERS

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

Write-ins, propaganda, and images are welcome!

[lorelune]

o4o: extended author's note

🎀 masterlist 🎀

WOW!! i genuinely... genuinely cannot believe i finished this piece 😭 like truly. around a year ago, i was cooking up the idea for an a/b/o collab and to think... almost a year later i have finished my piece :3c

o4o was originally just supposed to be a one shot featuring beloved omega jing yuan and his heat, but the idea expanded into much more fleshed out world, reader and dynamic. i truly never intended to go explicit with the mommy kink but you Know. sometimes things simply occur and you gotta go with the flow!!

omegaverse is so interesting to me in so many ways... the social workings of secondary gender, biology, and the relationships characters can have based on secondary gender too. i've had this very clear vision of scent gland anatomy in my minds eye for literally two years and it felt sooo nice to get it down in part iii for folks to like see. the vision. in o4o there is also this element of queerness that like... cannot exist in the real world! which is very fun and fascinating to me as an author to explore. both reader and jing yuan are omegas and the dynamic they with one and other is inherently informed by their secondary gender, but they express that secondary gender in very different, complimentary ways.

when i was cooking up o4o, i wanted to try and lean away from the reading of a/b/o which boils down to "alpha = stereotypical man" and "omega = stereotypical woman". femininity and masculinity are socially-informed concepts, and thereby change by concept and time, and i really wanted to (and attempted to) keep some amount of like... liminality to their expression. though jing yuan is perceived an alpha by the xianzhou alliance at large (because he is large, strong, and has a commanding presence), this is like... mostly coincidence and fabrication on his part. he cannot help that he is large (a great deal of which is soft omega pudge anyways!! and a slow metabolism adds to it), he's strong due to his lifetime of hard training, and his 'presence' is something he's like... constructed and honed because it is convenient and serves him well.

reader is more genuinely stereotypically in their world (at least what we see of them!!). they're a bit of a weakling, a lot of a crybaby, and very easy to coddle!! more like an omega kit than a grown one to be so real (see why jing yuan takes a liking to you LOL). but there's like embers of reader that distinctly aren't this stereotypical omega. they traveled to the Luofu alone, and settled without a pack or family unit. in part iii, we get a peak into reader's family, and you get a glimpse of reader's family, which is very non-traditional as well. they want to claim bite jing yuan. there's like!! in general lots of playing with perceptions in this piece. it's been very fun. playing with the expected bounds and outside of as well!!!

i DO have a sequel planned, a fun little spanking fic from reader's pov that truly i have been dying to write hehe. getting to do a deep dive on kink like o4o is very fun and like... rewarding. playing the long game on a kink to set up the Brain reasons why the characters involve enjoy it is like... long and hard. but very!!! gratifying. i'm excited to revisit these two, as both crybaby reader and milfy jy have altered my brain chemistry in unknoweable ways <3

finishing this piece would truly. TRULY. not have been possible without the cheering and support of multiple beta readers over each part. my pal honey helped out on parts i and ii and sadly doesn't have a tumblr anymore, but their jy thirsting and thoughts were VITAL!! @harmonydove was such huge help combing through part iii for clarity and cielo (@aimfor-theheart) did a much-needed final read through despite not going to hsr. and. AND!! truly truly TRULY this fic could not survived, lived and thrived with the continued, in-dms support of beloved mermie (@ofmermaidstories). she read this fic as i wrote and listened to my many questions and anxieties as this piece grew and grew. forever grateful. to all of these lovely folks!!!

thank YOU reader. for immersing yourself in this story and its world, and enjoying. truly there is nothing more that i desire as i writer. enjoy this piece this holiday season and be well 💗 🎀 💦

— lore 🩷

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[calciferstims]

tiktokers be like “I am going to create the most beautiful, relaxing, aesthetically pleasing video ever, with gorgeous lighting, and deeply satisfying content”. …….. “and then I’m going to cut the video fifty thousand times in thirty seconds-”

[mabaris]

that stupid comicbook.com article and also fan response in general to the companion romance situation annoys me so bad for the sole reason that everyone acts like the only people in the game are the pc and playable companions

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!

[vettelcore]

people with outdoor cats be like: yes my cat came back home half dead, caught hiv, is full of parasites and sometimes has gone missing for weeks but i don't care bc at least the cat is free and not locked inside like selfish people do!!!

[liuisi]

feel like theres a balance to strike between "people putting guidelines to being a christian (you need to read your Bible everyday, you need to need to never miss church, you should never be anxious... etc.) and saying that not doing them is sinning is wrong" and "you DO need to grow in your faith and be consistent"

[jubileebloom]

I aspire to be a lover not a hater. but