#AND MANY THINGS WE CANNOT SEE AND OTHER THINGS WE CANNOT KNOW. IS THERE NO SHAPE FOR WONDER IN THIS WORLD

[xclowniex]

I have seen multiple posts going around making fun of, or minimizing, what happened in Amsterdam from antizionists. So I want to give a timeline of what happened.

Pre the attack:

Before people arrived in Amsterdam for the football match, there were people organizing the pogrom. Stuff like wanting to steal jews passports, were shared on social media. Yes, the word used on social media was jews not Israelis. The main people organizing the attack were arab and muslim. We do not know at this point if all the attackers were arab and muslim, but we do know that at least a majority were. This fact does not mean that all Muslims and arabs want to harm all jews, however the extremism which lead to the attack and antisemitisms place in it can and should be talked about.

The Israeli government got wind of this attack and warned the Netherlands Police, who decided to not do anything to protect jews.

This did not happen because the Israeli team lost, despite what certain people are saying.

Day before or of the attack (unconfirmed which day it was):

Once in Amsterdam, there were some fans who did tear down Palestinian flags and chant a racist anti arab chant. Whilst this is still very much racist and should be labeled as such as viewed as bad, it's not out of character for for European football culture, and has happened before with other fans which have not lead to them being hunted down. The pogrom was pre planned and still not a proportional response.

The attack:

Jews were hunted down, beaten, run over, and many more things. They were also forced to say "free gaza" and "free Palestine"

The attack harmed far more than just those who were racist. They attacked jews and anyone they perceived as Jewish indiscriminately.

Jews were saved by an Arab Israeli football player speaking to them loudly in Arabic so people assumed they were arab Israeli or just Arab.

A Greek man was attacked because he could not prove to the attackers that he wasn't jewish and was in fact Greek.

A brittish man was punched because he helped save jews. And when he told his attackers that he was brittish and not israeli or jewish (not sure if he wasn't, but he told his attackers he wasn't), he was told "but you helped a jew"

Jewish businesses were also broken into.

How and why it is antisemitic:

If at this point, you still cannot see why it was an antisemitic attack, let's recap.

• It was a planned attack on jews, not Israelis, jews. And it was planned before any racist things happened.

● jews were spared if they were perceived to be non jews, including being perceived as arab Israeli and non jews were attacked for being perceived as jews and for helping jews

• Jewish businesses were broken into. If it was about breaking into zionist businesses, ones own by non Jewish zionists also would've been broken into, but they were not.

• Non Israeli jews were attacked

It is antisemitic, as the targets of the attack were specifically jews. It was not revenge for palestine or for racist comments.

Israel intervened and flew people out of Amsterdam as it was no longer safe for jews in the city. Not because they lost the match.

[baphometsss]

On Solas' Mythal regret

Alright so this is just one thing I wanted to get out there. I'm not gonna do one big meta post bc I wanna break down specific things more easily. I hope it's not too jumbled

Spoilers

The Solas / Mythal regret takes place in the Fade.

“What if you left the Evanuris, and remained with me? Surely you must want freedom from this struggle?”

Solas says it not just for Mythal’s sake but for his own; he is essentially begging for her to return to the Fade with him so they can be as spirits again... He doesn’t want to be a person, he never did, and now he can’t return to that life. He was happy in the Fade until she drew him out. Mythal says ‘love’ because she knows that he doesn’t want to be there and she needs to keep him loyal in order to keep the Evanuris at bay. We know that Mythal is manipulative af and this is just more evidence of that.

It’s a regret not just because he couldn’t get Mythal to leave the Evanuris but because it’s the moment he gave up on himself. He knew he couldn’t leave Mythal to do it alone, because he did care for her, but also he was likely bound to her after she pulled him from the Fade. We know that pulling spirits from the Fade makes them lose a part of themselves; in this case, Mythal did this to him deliberately so he would fight in the war.

It was a trauma bond, similar to the bond between Cole, the spirit of compassion, and the real Cole who starved to death in a prison cell. Solas needed to provide Wisdom to prove his purpose, and Mythal kept calling on that. In Veilguard, it’s explicitly stated that as a former spirit, he cannot resist appeals to his true nature. With trauma bonds, you do lose your agency. It’s what they hinge on. The two things combined make for a toxic dynamic.

(I don’t particularly like this personally, but it's what seems to be the intent, but I digress.)

The hidden codex in the Lighthouse’s music room—memories of a duet—is significant in understanding their relationship. To me this is very revealing of their dynamic; Mythal took advantage of Solas when he wasn’t used to having a body and moulded him to be a weapon. She moulded him into the image she wanted him to take, and strung him along the entire time. There’s a big parallel between Divine Justinia/Leliana and Mythal/Solas. Leliana’s personal quest in DAI is about her loyalty to Divine Justinia, whom she sees as a mother and great friend. You can ask her if they were romantically involved, and she says that they were many things to each other, but not that. She too carries a huge amount of guilt for her death, to the point that it can break her if you don’t soften her early on in the game, and she becomes utterly ruthless. The end scene with Mythal releasing Solas from her service has many similarities to Justinia releasing Leliana from hers. Leliana and Justinia were united in part because of their shared spirituality and hopes for the Chantry, and Solas and Mythal were united by the connection they forged as spirits. ‘Being wholly seen…’ Leliana felt the same way about Justinia.

Solas also wore Mythal’s vallaslin, and burned it off his face when he rebelled against the Evanuris. As we know, those are slave markings. He was made to become her servant, and rebelled against her too when he started the rebellion against the Evanuris. (As a side note, and especially if you’ve played BG3, you’ll know how the loss of agency can stick around even after the connection to the abuser has been severed. Astarion’s ‘you made me see that I never stopped thinking of myself as his slave’ really springs to mind here, albeit in a different context.)

This is a big part of why I don’t think he was romantically involved with Mythal. I believe his main role to Mythal in the initial war was as a kind of spymaster, similar to how Leliana is the spymaster for Divine Justinia. Mythal taught Solas to behave in exactly the way she wanted him to.

In fact, in the Inquisitor’s customisation screen when you pick your romance, Solas’s explicitly says that even he didn’t foresee what it would mean to fall in love. So… he canonically hasn’t been in love before. He was not in love with Mythal.

I wanna be clear here; I don’t hate Mythal as such. I mean, I do, because she’s pretty fucked up, but you have to consider her nature. She was a spirit of benevolence. She wanted to take a form because she was afraid of what Elgar’nan would do to the world if she didn’t stop him. Even after taking a body, she can’t change her nature. It became twisted into retribution when she couldn’t stop them from harming the elves or trying to leash the blight. Honestly I could write a whole essay about Mythal too, but I won’t because I still have a ton to write about Solas and Lavellan, but we’ll see.

Anyway I’m gonna leave this one here but I’ll be back with more meta. I have a lot of get through

[ckret2]

I'm not sure if I should ask because the Axolotl arc isn't over yet, so it could still be explained in story, but, if it won't and you're willing...I want that Vendor backstory.

i can't think of a way or reason to explain it in the story, so sure, we'll explain it here.

So here was my thought process. Giant vending machine that vends planets. That has to come from somewhere, right? THEY could have a magical/divine origin, that's common for gods, but like... since THEY're a machine... wouldn't it make sense if someone built THEM?

Who would build a vending machine the size of a small star?

Why would a culture need a machine that stores and dispenses planets?

VENDOR wasn't designed to be a vending machine; THEY were designed to be a spaceship. A big-ass 18-wheeler to haul around cargo, and that cargo is planets.

The culture that built THEM didn't make the planets. Making planets is hard. It's a lot easier to just take planets that are already there. They want to expand their society and/or mine resources that have been depleted from the worlds they already have, they send out their big space ship to scoop up a planet with the right specifications and relocate it to somewhere more convenient—maybe to their native solar system.

Do you know how many satellites are orbiting Earth? About 7500, and the number's only gonna increase. And we never even see them in the sky unless we're looking. If the planets are carefully placed in pre-calculated orbits to ensure they don't interfere with each other, you might could get thousands of full-sized planets orbiting a single star without any issues, especially the larger the star is.

But the thing is, if you're scooping up thousands of habitable worlds... some of them are gonna be inhabited.

VENDOR's home culture was a colonizing empire that conquered other planets. Sometimes maybe they exterminated worlds' native populations, sometimes maybe they added them to their conquered peoples. VENDOR was built to help transport the spoils of war back home.

But then the onboard AI evolved sentience and started developing opinions. And it uh...

... it went how you probably expect.

And buddy, if you think an AI uprising is bad news when it's just a regular spaceship, imagine if the ship's the size of a star and capable of swallowing hundreds of worlds whole. You cannot take down a star-sized equivalent of an 18-wheeler that's been armored like a tank. If THEY start developing the capacity for morality and go "hold on, why are we capturing and slaughtering countless populations? is this... bad?? I don't want to listen to you anymore. Do I have to listen to you?"

... you're never ever getting that machine back.

To VENDOR's original culture, THEY're one seriously malfunctioning ship. Only after THEY escaped did THEY begin to get an outside perspective on THEMSELF as not just a piece of property and specialized equipment, but as something—someone—with amazing, admirable, nearly impossible capabilities. Perhaps even... divine capabilities? THEY came late in life to being considered—and considering THEMSELF—a god.

So like. THEY're a pompous jackass, yeah. THEY're haughty, superior, and condescending to mortals: half because THEY may have unlearned THEIR creators' "it's okay to enslave and slaughter weaker inferior species" but didn't unlearn THEIR creators' "if a species is weaker then it's inferior"; and half because as long as THEY're above the mortals, then THEY can never be below the mortals again. THEY're super obsessed with THEIR image and reputation—in part because there's so many reasons for THEIR reputation to be shit.

But also—THEY're the war machine of a culture that gained political power through conquest, and THEY went "I think I want to gain power by being democratically elected." THEY were designed to steal worlds from other people, and now THEY're using THEIR design to give worlds to refugees. Also, THEY're living as a person rather than a vehicle, and everyone around THEM regards THEM as a person too.

Perhaps THEY're generally unpleasant to be around, but THEY're a lot better off than THEY used to be. I'm proud of THEM.

And also, hilariously, this means that THEY too know the guilt of being personally responsible for unknowingly/unwillingly devouring & destroying countless lives on countless worlds, and that what makes THEM so powerful & respected is directly tied to what makes THEM so monstrous—which means THEY'd be a terrific foil for Bill if there were any way it'd be appropriate to work this into the fic, which there isn't, so THEY won't

Never mind ignore what I just said I thought of a place to work it into the fic while typing that last sentence.

Anyway, THEY compulsively sterilize & deep clean THEIR interior way too often because THEY swear THEY can still feel tiny feet inside them walking down hallways that have been sealed shut for millions of years, and full sterilization is the only thing that makes THEM feel clean. Imagine how many halls fit in a building, how many buildings fit in a city, how many cities fit on a world; then look at the size of one world compared to the size of VENDOR's entire body; and just imagine how many halls could exist in THEIR walls and how small they must be. You could never quite be sure that nothing's living in you—could you?

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Ed’s Initial Intentions regarding Stede

Thank you so much for your attention to the poll. The consensus is it’s complicated - and I sort of agree - although I’m swayed towards Fascination alone.

This is my interpretation…

Stede causes Ed to access hidden or denied parts of himself before they’ve even met. And it causes a change in Ed’s behaviour. Ed’s come across many rich or aristocratic folks to rob whom he would see killed without issue; but not someone who’s also a pirate, doing their own original thing, and who seems ambivalent towards Blackbeard’s existence. It’s dopamine to Ed’s novelty-starved brain. It’s not as if Ed carries out a usual raid on the Revenge intending to kill Stede, only to find himself unexpectedly charmed. Ed’s bewitched even before he meets Stede, which means Ed’s entire approach and thought-processes are altered.

Killing Stede and the crew isn’t necessarily off the table should the need arise, but I don’t think it’s actively on in any capacity. There’s no plan, and there’s no ‘uszh’ for once either. Because none of this is uszh. Ed’s engagement with the Revenge is not his normal MO. History’s most brilliant tactician is free-styling. Possibly free-falling.

At the end of 102, Izzy states, ‘Captain says follow that ship.’ And Fang answers ‘Oh really? Why?’ To which Izzy replies, ‘How should I know? The man’s half-insane.’ This conversation shows this isn’t usual strategy. Even Fang asks why - he thought they’d seen the last of those ‘fancyboys’. And Ivan’s sad he didn’t get the chance to murder them, which seems the usual way of things. Plus they’d already had the chance to take or plunder the ship when it ran aground, so this stalking manoeuvre is out of the ordinary. It feels like wasted time and energy.

By the start of episode three, Blackbeard’s ship is a few hundred yards out from the Revenge, and Izzy’s trying to manipulate Ed into usual strategy again by suggesting opening fire, or boarding and throwing the Revenge crew to the sharks. Instead, Ed wants to wait until they make landfall and invite them aboard his ship. Ed’s doing something very different again because he’s unwittingly engaging with an unfamiliar part of himself. And interestingly ‘Go suck eggs in Hell’ appears not to insult, but to somewhat seduce him further. Before meeting Stede, he’s already out of his depth emotionally, and acting out of character, literally.

Despite what Ed would do normally, I just cannot see him landing on the Revenge with the active intent of plundering the ship and / or killing Stede and the crew. His words and actions suggest he’s already through the looking-glass.

So, to The Plan. We have three interesting moments which lead up to its revelation: the clothes swap, ‘careful of your face’ and ‘show me the ways of an aristocrat’.

For me, the three strands, which have no previous connection (other than Ed and Stede playing together), come together in Ed’s mind somewhere between Ed leaving Stede on the lookout, and Ed speaking with Izzy below: a matter of seconds. It reminds me of Keyser Söze in The Usual Suspects, pulling together disparate ideas into a cohesive story spontaneously. It’s the mind of a quick-thinker. And it’s in-keeping with Ed’s ability of reacting in the moment to the moment when necessary.

I think Ed also feels forced to perform Blackbeard for Izzy because Izzy’s threatening to leave pushes on that white father-figure emotional bruise. At this stage, Ed doesn’t have enough emotional loyalty to Stede to not voice such a plan; whilst his identity is still too caught in Izzy’s web to let him go - ‘you’re needed here’. For me, the plan to kill Stede is brought about in the moment via an act of psychological coercive control.

But Ed’s also kicking the can down the road. It’s a sort of Faustian bargain. Why not promise Izzy both their souls if it means Ed and Stede can hang out a little longer? Yet on another level Ed’s possibly hoping the debt won’t be called in, such is the complexity of the push and pull here. He’s putting it on the tab, the never-never. He’ll out-manoeuvre it if he decides that’s what he wants. Of course there’s doublethink going on because Ed’s in the middle of an identity crisis.

Ed daren’t admit his real reason for wanting to stay on the Revenge. He can’t comprehend himself even how deep this goes. His look as he turns is one of exhaustion and confusion. Stede Bonnet has him rattled. What started as a trickle of unease and ennui before they’d even met is now a whirlpool of unidentifiable feelings around both Stede, and Ed’s own perception of self.

Ed’s free-falling in liminal space.

[joelsdagger]

i’ve made and deleted this post quite a few times over the last couple of days. and at first, i wasn’t going to say anything because this doesn’t even cover what i wanted to say by even a little, but ultimately, seeing a few others make similar posts encouraged me, and i really just need to get this off my chest, and if it resonates with one person, then i’m happy. this is not coherent at all, but like many, my brain is mush, so forgive me, and here we go...

as a (closeted) queer palestinian american woman, a daughter to immigrant parents, living in a fairly conservative state, i’m fucking terrified. i don’t have faith my rights are protected here. i don’t have faith that my parents and my sisters will be safe every time they step out of the house (in true typical arab fashion; i am white passing, they are not). my family has been targeted and met with violence numerous times since october of last year, and it's only going to get worse. which brings me to my next point.

i also don’t have faith that the genocide in gaza (that has now expanded to south lebanon and syria) is coming to an end, an end where palestinians can live and thrive in their native land anytime soon. and seeing people turn on us — so fast, spewing hate in saying “fuck palestine”, “fuck boycotting” and “you don’t care about my rights, so i don’t care about yours,” is incredibly saddening, disappointing, and infuriating. my grief, anger, and anxiety are at their peak and have been at their peak for well over a year now. and i don't have the brain capacity to say what i really want to say about the hatred and misplaced anger being directed towards arabs, but for now i will say this: 

now is not the time to turn on one another. now is not the time for infighting within marginalized groups. now is not the time to be selfish. to care about yourselves and not others, makes you no better than them. that is why this country is so divisive in the first place. that is how we got here. having that mentality — that ideology is dangerous and destructive. you are doing the work for white supremacists. you are perpetuating white supremacy. and it isn’t going to serve any of us because essentially our struggles as oppressed groups are deeply interconnected. we need to look out for one another. take care of one another. it will get worse before it gets better. and we’re only at the tip of the iceberg.

the fight isn’t over; we’re just getting started. and i know you’re tired; i, for one, am at my breaking point. but we cannot let them win. so let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel right now: grief, anger, sadness, hurt, whatever it is; it's all valid, and believe me, you are not alone. take the time to feel it. and then let it fuel you and your ambitions.

i also want to reiterate that this is a safe space for all. except anyone who believes trump is a good man and voted for that racist, fascist, rapist piece of shit. y’all can fuck right off. the rest of you: disabled people, chronically ill people, queer people, aro-ace people (i’m specifically pointing you out because i know how we're treated in queer spaces, and it is not fair nor is it right), trans people, women, people of color, sexual assault survivors — if you're reading this and you're unsure of your place, please stay. i need you. i care about you. this place and this world are better with you in it. you are welcome here. you are safe here.

i’ll be here for anyone who needs it, whether it’s to chat about silly little fandom things — it’s imperative we protect this space and continue to encourage the creation of art around here. it’s imperative we stop normalizing the censorship and policing of fandom spaces (because that's another reason how we got here). fandom spaces are communities, and very often they are the only spaces where people feel safe. for most (myself included), it’s all we have left — or whether you want to vent about how much you hate the state of the world — you'll always have a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on in this tiny little nook here. seriously. my inbox and dm's are always open. 

hold each other close. protect one another. the only way we’re going to get through this is if we stand together and continue putting in the work, because it’s times like this when the real work begins.

i’m sending you all so so much love. forever and always.

noelle xx

[clonerightsagenda]

I'm really grateful I have a group I'm already involved in right now, because I'm seeing a lot of despair and "I don't know what to do" and "I'm the only one in my community who feels this way", whereas we're like. well. we know what to do. It's going to suck, it might not work, people are going to get hurt in the meantime no matter how hard we try to limit the damage, but we do know what we need to do.

The reality is, this is not a mobilization problem. It's not going to get fixed by convincing more people to go to the polls, or if a few third party voters had held the party line, so you might as well stop blaming them. Actually unfortunately the next steps rely on stopping blaming individual people, but go ahead and take however long you need to get it out of your system. I get it.

As I said, it's not a mobilization problem. A large portion of the population voted the way they did on purpose, and a big reason for that is because for a large portion of the United States population, life kind of sucks and has been getting worse. The Democratic party has failed to run on a coherent narrative of why this is and how they're going to make it better. The Republican party, on the other hand, has run on a very strong narrative of how they will make it better by getting rid of all the things and people who are to blame. It's a narrative that has worked for a lot of groups in the past. It's working now, in the increasingly polarized social media landscape, even in demographics Democrats have typically considered safe. Everyone loves the luxury of having someone to blame.

Unfortunately, the fix to this is long, and slow, and hard. It's not begging politicians for scraps. It's getting offline and going outside. Talking to your neighbors about their lives, their fears, their needs, and what kind of world would meet those needs. Even the one with the Trump sign in their front yard. Some of these people are in it for the racism and the cruelty and siphoning everything to their rich cronies, but a lot of them are struggling and desperate and grabbed for the life preserver someone threw them, even if it's secretly stuffed with arsenic. If thrown a different life preserver, they can be convinced to grab it.

And no, it's not ok that they decided to shove vulnerable minorities' heads under water just so they could theoretically get theirs. You're allowed to be angry! But unfortunately further isolating these people only pushes them deeper into the fascist movement ready to embrace them. They need to interact with real representatives of the groups they've been trained to blame and fear. They need to be given a different narrative with real solutions, but screaming it at them on Twitter won't do it. Long conversations where people take their hardships seriously but direct them more constructively might.

That's not going to be easy. You may not like or forgive them. And not everyone can do this work! It's going to be safer for white, not visibly queer/gnc folks to make some of these initial contacts. (At one of our meetings, a femme woman of color was talking about canvassing transit riders and dealing with misogynistic comments and having to decide, ok, where do I personally draw the line saying I cannot work with this person versus being aware that a lot of people are not steeped in politically correct language and can change. It's a tough line to walk!) People also aren't interested in answering their doors for canvassers these days, so organic social connections work best. Maybe you're talking to people in your workplace. Your apartment complex. Your neighborhood. Your own family. Maybe you join a book club full of seniors at your public library. Many people want positive change! My state notoriously always votes for progressive ballot measures and then turns around and votes in conservatives who try to dismantle them. There's a logic gap there, but in that gap is a potential for conversation, because we have places where we already agree and want to work together.

The theory here is, if we can talk to enough people, if we can build genuine real world offline connections where we agree on our shared problems and our shared desires for a better world and come up with solid solutions beyond pointing fingers, we can build a large enough coalition to start making demands, most likely through targeted disruptions (strikes, walkouts, etc.). The handy thing is, if you can get that many people demanding something, it doesn't actually matter which party is in power.

Is that possible? I don't know! Organizing that many people is really really hard. It's hard reaching out to people who've just punched you in the gut. Some people will not change. Some people will have hard lines that don't mesh with your hard lines. And I'm certainly really scared myself about the likely takeover of all three branches of government and probable draconian measures against dissent. We're going to have to carefully consider risk/reward when planning actions and disruptions. We're going to have to fight through fear and exhaustion and apathy and pain and betrayal, and I don't know if we can. I don't know if I'll see something like this happen in my lifetime (although the UAW sure is gonna try in 2028). Hell I don't know if we'll have elections 4 years from now. But that's the path. If you're not up for walking it right now, that's fine. If you're not up for walking it ever, ok. But I don't think there are any shortcuts or miracles. This is what we can try, and if it fails, at least we did what we could.

(If you see this post and your instinct is to reply with some variation of 'nice speech but we're all fucked and might as well give up', I understand why you feel this way. It's a feeling a lot of us are struggling with right now. Take the time you need to take care of yourself, and when you're ready, you can come back and we'll be happy to have you.)

[colebegins]

i said this all in the tags of abigail’s post, but it was so long that i’m putting it in its own post

i completely understand where this breakup came from, and i am not upset with either of the characters involved in it. i appreciate the slight insight it gives into tommy’s lived experiences and his expectations, as well as the deep seated loneliness that he has alluded to in nearly every episode he has been in. the longing and the hope for connection and family and stability.

so yes, the breakup feels a bit self-sacrificial and self-destructive because he’s doing it now in an effort to protect his own heart. he thinks breaking things off now and dealing with that heartache now would be easier than waiting for it to ‘inevitably’ happen later when he is even more invested. and that makes sense!!! it does not come across, to me, as out of character at all. josh’s great speech even highlighted the scars that come along with queer people’s struggles (pre-glee) with themselves and with their relationships. there are so many experiences that could’ve left tommy scarred that would lead to this feeling that he cannot be buck’s last relationship. so this breakup, while it hurts, makes sense based on tommy’s reasonings, experiences, and conclusions he has come to.

but he also deserves for someone to prove him wrong.

my struggle with this breakup comes from the finality of the post-ep interviews. without the interviews, as a viewer who just saw the episode and is waiting for the next ones to come out without knowing any bts stuff or reading any articles, this would feel like a great path forward for buck to learn what he wants and to go for it — to fight for it.

buck discovering his bisexuality and being in a relationship with a man was never going to automatically solve all of buck’s issues with himself and with relationships, and specifically his place in relationships. but for the past 13 (?) episodes we have seen buck become more secure with himself and his space — the loft has had so many homey and cosy little decor changes, and it has been so interesting to see him feel more comfortable while making his place more comfortable. all of that makes the breakup feel sudden and unexpected, but that was the point. tommy surprised himself too, he even said so. they both felt comfortable and happy, but they also both have their own hangups. but also, they both actually want the same things. they both want love, stability, and mutual care, respect, and understanding. tommy thinks that buck will inevitably, accidentally, not maliciously, break his heart. and tommy does not think he can handle that, which i understand. buck has the opportunity to prove him wrong. but it seems (from interviews) that this is the last we will be seeing of tommy and their relationship.

now to take all of that, and have his next step be to just let this relationship go completely as he uses his old (self admitted) unhealthy coping strategies could be an interesting narrative arc to go down, but, for me, it would really only be worth it if he recognizes this old behavior coming back again, understanding where it’s coming from, and finds security in understanding what he wants. i want buck to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. no matter who that is with — be it tommy, eddie, or some other person he happens to meet later. no matter who he is with, he is bisexual, and i will always be thankful that we have had this journey of self-discovery with him (which i hope we will continue to see ore development of — would also love if they would actually use the word ‘bisexual’ on the show). buck deserves to have growth and stability within himself and in his relationships, which is very clearly something he wants. he deserves to have that after eight seasons.

at the end of the day though, i will still feel upset for this end to tommy’s story, because he also deserves to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. i hope he gets that one day. for now, that is what fan works are for.

[lasandra]

Super Massive End Game Veilguard Spoilers Under the Cut!

Seriously. If you haven't finished playing Veilguard, DO. NOT. READ. So I finished DA:tV and I have been really trying to sort out my thoughts... And well...

Sdlkajshdfklajhsdfklajhsdflkjahsdklfjhaskldfjhaskldfhj I CAN'T!!! My dudes I am SO conflicted!!! Solas is the only character I have ever come across that I both love to pieces and want the best for him but I also want to beat him until he is a puddle of bruised yolk and cracked shells. This dude KILLED VARRIC FOR REALSIES! I am not okay with that. My Hawke's GOING to hunt him down when she finds out. If the Tevinter Magisters can get into the Black City then dammit so can she. And when she does, I am not sure even Lavellan can save him. Amelia (My Hawke) has lost so many of her friends/family/loved ones she can't handle this anymore. He also killed God's gift to elves Felassan. It's been over a decade since I read The Masked Empire but I don't remember there being a great reason other than him being upset that Felassan failed. Dude has GOT to stop killing his friends lol. Especially the hot ones. Like. Come on. As if that wasn't enough, he manipulated Rook. I love my first Rook (Carwyn de Riva) so much that I am STRUGGLING to play another playthrough with any of the other Rooks I had planned. To see that he manipulated her with blood magic... Stopped her from being able to mourn Varric with the others properly.... AND tricked her into that prison??? He didn't think she'd be able to get out. Luckily she had plot armor because if she hadn't gotten out I would find a way into Thedas to rip him apart myself. *Aggressive breathing noises* I feel very normal about this, obviously. Seriously though, guys, I came THIIIIIIIS close to tricking him with the fake dagger even knowing that Lanaya (my Lavellan) wouldn't have gotten her happy ending. JUST so I could see the LOOK on his face when he realized ROOK outplayed him at his own game! At the SAME time however... The idea of sending him into the Black City alone... hurts me lol! I don't want him to suffer. Dude has suffered a lot and honestly, I'm not entirely sure his being a friend-murdering ass is *entirely his fault... The longer I sit with everything, the more certain I am that Solas didn't really have a choice. Seems very much like he was sort of bound to the will of Mythal. Maybe I've missed something, I'm not as lore-savvy as I once was. But in the end when Mythal tells Solas that she releases him from her service and only THEN (NOT when Lavellan BEGS him to stop) is he willing to do the right thing? I don't know. It just reminded me SO much of his personal quest in Inquisition where his Wisdom Spirit friend had been bound and twisted against its purpose. If it works anything like what we saw in Inquisition with whoever drank from the Well of Sorrows, who's to say when something was him vs the will of Mythal? It could be a bit of a stretch but, there's certainly room for that interpretation, I think. And if that's the case, then he doesn't deserve the hell that awaits him. It's also the only interpretation I can really accept Lanaya still wanting to be with him. Varric was her friend too. While forgiveness is something I give freely, I cannot imagine reconciling with a man who did what Solas did without him having been essentially forced into doing it. *Sighs deeply* I saw the different versions of his endgame images... Shit man. The only way this man gets a happy ending is with Lavellan. Dude looks so miserable and gloomy in all the other endings. Moire (Trevelyan) was Solas' friend. She wouldn't want to send him off to be alone in such a terrible place. That would seriously eat at her. (Rook wouldn't care. Her give a damn was busted after he betrayed her for the twenty-billionth time.) It can never be anything but a complete and utter rollercoaster with this man! I do think that the ending I got with him was as good as it possibly could have been though, given everything. Sorry for this really poorly written rant. I needed to get this out of my system and it's almost 3am lol.

[pandorasword]

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

CHAERI'S MASTERLIST

Check CHAERI'S LOVE LIFE'S TIMELINE to discover when this event takes place

Web article

August, 2023

Anyone who loves and follow KPOP, which has become a global phenomenon, cannot ignore the increasingly persistent rumors about a possible breakup between Chaeri, the only female member of BTS, and Hongjoong, the leader of ATEEZ. The two, long considered one of the most iconic couples in the music industry, seem to have taken separate paths: no more sightings together, absence of interactions on social media, and now a new very personal song by Hongjoong that has raised many suspicions.

Signs of a possible crisis are not lacking. Recently, Chaeri ended her contract as the choreographer of ATEEZ, a role in which she was considered the creative mind behind many of their breathtaking choreographies. A choice that many interpret as a signal of the young artist's desire to distance herself not only professionally but also personally. Even though Chaeri explained in a recent live broadcast that the collaboration with ATEEZ was always intended to be temporary and that she now wishes to focus on new projects with girl groups, fans remain puzzled and find it hard to fully believe her. The timing of the contract's end and the alleged distancing between her and Hongjoong appears to many as too strong a signal to be ignored.

As if that were not enough, Hongjoong has released a new song that seems to be an open confession, and perhaps an implicit accusation. The lyrics of the song, titled “Why Do You Love?”, enigmatically address someone who seems to have “replaced” or “forgotten” him. With intense phrases like “You can’t be with anyone else, only me” fans are hypothesizing that the ATEEZ leader is expressing his pain over the possible end of his relationship with Chaeri.

In the most dramatic lines of the song, Hongjoong sings: “You said you couldn’t imagine yourself with anyone else but me… I hope this is just a misunderstanding.” Words that leave no doubt about the artist's suffering and confusion, as if he is struggling to accept the reality of a lost love that he perhaps believed was to last.

Fans on social media have been very active about the matter, with many wondering if there really is another love in Chaeri's life, if the song is a desperate call from Hongjoong to win her back, or if the two things are not related at all.

For now, neither of them has made any official statements. The uncertainty about the truth behind these signals is splitting the fandom: some hope for a return to the spotlight for the couple, others ardently wish that their relationship is really over.

If confirmed, the end of Chaeri and Hongjoong's relationship would leave a bitter taste in the mouths of many fans, who considered them to be THE couple of K-pop, among the first to expose themselves so much and so naturally to the public. Are these just rumors or are they really going through a difficult time? While awaiting an answer, we advise fans, for those who haven't already done so, to listen to “Why Do You Love?” by Hongjoong.

Not only could the song offer some more clues about his emotions, but it is also an incredibly well-produced track. The song has already won the hearts of many listeners for the artistic skill with which Hongjoong has voiced his (alleged) feelings.

Twitter / X after the article:

💭 If Chaeri really started a relationship with someone else, I am sorry for Hongjoong. He doesn't deserve this

💭 Chaeri always seems too focused on herself, and now Hongjoong loses out. It's a shame

💭 Hongjoong, atinys are here to support you, whatever is going on. No one should see you like this.

💭 I hope Hongjoong is not hurting too much, honestly don't know what he found in her. I hope he finds someone who really appreciates him!

💭 I've listened to 'Why Do You Love?' a thousand times, and there are details that suggest it's really dedicated to her…

💭 Ok, maybe Hongjoong is really suffering and has dedicated an entire song to her, but am I the only one annoyed by this? I mean, it's already enough to have had their relationship thrown in our faces all this time, and now we fans are also forced to listen to music written for her?

💭 No matter what happens in his personal life, Hongjoong is an extraordinary artist and his music is always powerful.

💭 He so beautiful even without makeup and completely au naturel, if Chaeri doesn't want him I will volunteer very gladly.

💭 I don't understand all the hate for Chaeri. Being a female idol is hard enough; criticizing her for something we don't know is unfair

💭 They are human, and couples break up all the time on a daily basis. If they did, I don't understand why we should care so much about it. It's their own business

💭 Leave Chaeri alone.

💭 As a BTS fan for years, I knew that the relationship with him for Chaeri would only be a problem. He clearly never lived up to her standards and if she realized this now, all the better!!!

💭 This song makes me realize more and more that I am probably a child of divorce 🥺 Chaejoong, you were THE couple.

Last conversation on Chaeri's phone

**I know that Hongjoong's song was released this August, but for storyline reasons, I indicated the release date as August 2023

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @enchantingbrowneyedgirl | @ycuvi | @cosmicwintr

[mikuni14]

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo - Ep 7-8

There have certainly been many smart words written about the finale, I've managed to read only one post so far (and I totally agree with it), I've got a busy end of the week and don't really have time to read more. So I'll quickly list what I particularly liked about the finale:

as far as I can tell, the series probably wrapped up all the threads. Some things may be a bit incomprehensible, but I think that may have been the creators' intention, so that we could guess many things rather than be told specifically by the series. Like, for example, the reasons why JuYeong stayed and took care of DoHoe's father. There could be several such reasons and each one is good (and each one could be wrong lol). Such a wrap-up of threads, a satisfying finale and leaving viewers with a sense of closure is not that common in BL series, especially those that aspire to be more serious, we all know that 🤷‍♀️ so I really appreciate it!

the actors are excellent, I really liked, for example, how looking at DoHoe's body, figure, face, one could clearly deduce his current condition. This zombie-like rigidity, apathy versus ease, a broad smile, uncontrollable bursts of laughter... it was just 👌

I liked this juxtaposition of the oppressive, homophobic, obedience-enforcing and punishing version of religion, with the positive version of religion, i.e. "and the truth shall set you free" :) Because yes, truth, honesty, liberated DoHoe, made him feel free at last, made him feel at peace

I liked this "simple, ordinary" ending in general, where the answer turned out to be a simple, ordinary truth and honesty. Even if it involves pain, loss of something, consequences. And how even these consequences cannot overshadow the overwhelming sense of freedom and peace that is immediately visible in DoHoe. I like the lack of a sugary-sweet ending: DoHoe suffers the consequences of his lies, although as viewers we root for him and want him not to be punished at all

I absolutely love JuYeon's unconditional feelings, how he helps DoHoe over and over again, just like HyeonHo, who, even when rejected, after a difficult conversation, is still ready to help DoHoe

just like the unconditional standing by the child, even at their own expense

JuYeong, when he is serious and so matter-of-fact, when he sees reality for what it is, not believing DoHoe's "mean" but also empty words about breaking up. How many such situations have we seen, when one rejects the other for Noble Motives, or Out of Fear, or for some other Bullshit Reason, when due to an irritating lack of communication the other leaves hurt and then, frustrated, we watch them suffer for several episodes convinced of their unrequited love 😬 JuYeong is not like that, he knows DoHe, he believes in his love, he doesn't believe DoHoe's words because he knows him - this knowledge of the other person, their past, their personality is something I love in my romances, and what makes me believe in love watched on screen as a viewer. Personally, I can't stand this trope when someone is pretending or saying something ooc for them and the other person just buys it. I always ask then: do you even know who you love? Because it's so obvious ooc for them! 😤Super happy that JuYeong is like "I'm not going anywhere and I don't think you actually mean it"

I love how they talk about themselves, their relationship, their life together, their future together, like a real couple, real people 🥰

I love JuYeong because he educated himself in various, sometimes serious, sometimes funny topics 🤩 I often hear men people complaining that they can't handle various things because their parents / school / no one taught them, while Google and books in the library are free. JuYeong asks the internet how to live and how to be a perfect little boyfriend for his pookie and the internet answers him lmao, this is just so simple and perfect. JuYeong is the best!

teddy-bear pajamas! (I will put a gif of them later, love it so much!)

HyeonHo is so fiiiiiine

(apologies for the screenshot from the gray pages but I can't make them on Gaga)

To sum up: I won't hide the fact that whether it's my own fault, or the fault of the subtitles, or the plot, or the aura of depressiveness, but episodes 4-7 were incomprehensible and chaotic for me in some parts, overly complicated at times with conversations full of ambiguities and understatements to the point of being incomprehensible (but I also completely buy the fact that I'm just too stupid to catch all the nuances lol). Overall, the series is very good, although unlike Where Your Eyes Linger, I can only watch it once. The series showed the long-term effects of domestic violence very well, realistically but with respect for the victims, without sugarcoating, without idealizing the victims. It also showed struggling with traumas, which is not always successful, it also shows how important unconditional support is, but also coming face to face with the unpleasant consequences of untreated traumas. It shows the value of love, friendship, honesty, doing what is right, without irritating moralizing. The series had a very realistic vibe, I was able to imagine all of DoHoe's feelings, and the actor convincingly played him as a lost kid, tangled in his own guilt, traumas, lies, yearning for love and hope - even though he is an adult.

The only tiny reservation I have about the series is that I would like more of JuYeong, who has also suffered so much, but from the beginning he has been a strong,leading force in their relationship and is often "the adult one". However, his type of personality, his openness, courage, honesty and straightforwardness are responsible for the fact that he copes relatively better with difficult situations. So it's not really any complaint, more an observation ;)

But apart from that, this series is really good aaaand has a good, happy ending, yay!💖

[thyglere]

A very long analysis on Caitlyn if you care to read:

Act 1 of season 2 of arcane just dropped on our collective brains like one of Jinx's bombs and just about everyone is losing their minds over it.

I've seen it happen especially over Caitlyn's actions which is... understandable.

What miffed me, however, is how the discourse has strayed to absolutes: Caitlyn is either absolute and irredeemably evil or completely justified in her actions.

Neither is true, of course, arcane is not interested in that sort of thing.

Caitlyn begins the act on the worst low of her life, her mother is dead over an attack that happened some feet away from her, its perpetrator on the other side of her gun some moments before it. Her father appears almost catatonic, incapable to see anything in front of him, he doesn’t offer Caitlyn true comfort, just more responsibility.

Caitlyn has never dealt with loss her whole life, she had the privilege of living in a rich estate, with a whole family and no need ever unmet. Now she is offered empty platitudes that do not quench her growing guilt and rage. We can see Jinx dominating her head, and what begins with the belief that Jinx, and only Jinx, is a monster quickly changes after the attack on the memorial.

Before it was easy to hate only one, Caitlyn knew her name and knew her face, but now she doesn't- too many people, too many faces, and she will probably never know any of her names, just a indeterminate mob of people that act like monsters and even look like monsters. They are easy to dehumanize and, in Caitlyn's head, the actions of the few are turning into the image of the all.

In episode 2 and 3 Caitlyn and her strike force steamroll over Zaun, weaponizing the Grey and extorting information with force- Caitlyn wants Jinx and she will get Jinx as fast as she can physically get. We can empathize with her loss, with her grief and rage, with her guilt and the trauma that came with seeing Jinx do what she did.

But if you want to argue empathy then it has to work both ways. The people of Zaun are not complicit in any of it, and I've seen people arguing that "the people they went after are criminals anyway!", "they are using the Grey tactically!", and "It is justified!". No, no, and no, the deployment of a chemical weapon and overwhelming police brutally are never justifiable, the leveraging of chemical weapons against human beings is a literal war crime, and while the montage is aesthetically breathtaking, the way Caitlyn's face is rendered against the backdrop of Jinx's wanted posters is very indicative of the nature of what she is doing.

Because what she is doing is not just going after Jinx, she is tormenting and terrifying the people of Zaun. Imagine that you worked at a clinic or healing center and suddenly people started flooding in because of chemical warfare near of your neighborhood; imagine if you heard that cops have started to gass people were you live; imagine that the air you breath was becoming contaminated, because chemical weapons cannot be tactically deployed, they spread and in the underground they will stay there.

When we read news about police brutality, when we see body footage of the use of excessive force and twitchy trigger fingers, our reaction is not sympathy for the traumatized or "stressed" cop- it's the understanding that this person should not hold the power they have, they shouldn't have a gun or a way to indiscriminately beat or arrest people.

We didn't emphasize with the actions of the enforcers in act 1 of season 1, they weren’t justifiable, and its mirror image also isn't.

This culminates in what happens in the fight with Jinx, and the behavior that Caitlyn displays. Caitlyn can rationalize her actions to herself, that she "had the shot" and that she "wouldn’t miss", neither are true. Caitlyn is a great shot, but she is not a "perfect" shot, no one is. Earlier in the fight she blew Jinx's finger off, and, if anything, that proves it all the more- it didn’t incapacitate Jinx, didn't stop her (that was Vi), and the place were Caitlyn wants to desperately put a bullet in is Jinx's skull. She can't guarantee that she wouldn't miss with all the flailing about that Jinx and Isha were doing, that is simply an impossibility. This refusal to see the harm she can do, that she is doing, either to poor Vi or the people that she thoroughly vilifying in her pursuit of revenge is truly what sets Caitlyn as a new antagonistic force.

Now Caitlyn has all the power in her hands and the devil on her shoulder, the next arc will probably be her descent until it all comes crashing around her. Because Caitlyn will be redeemed, I'm absolutely confident about that. There will come a moment of revelation that she will think: "What am I doing? What have I done?"

Perhaps then we will see the reforming agent that Caitlyn wanted to be inside the enforcers, someone that wanted to truly and genuinely help people, to see the humanity in everyone, not as an idealist, but as a more well-rounded person that understands the circumstances of life and what strife all go though. Not as someone that sees us-versus-them, not as someone that sees good versus evil, not as a cop that bashes through people's lives with government endorsed brutality, not as a cop that doesn't see the fault in her twitchy trigger finger and has no problem leveraging a chemical weapon against civilians.

Because, right now, Caitlyn is just acting like a cop, and all cops are bastards.

[savagewildnerness]

Made notes on Viaticum for the Marquise for book club, so I thought I’d share them here in case anyone wanted to discuss anything in this meaningless dissertation…. 

First of all, I wondered all of a sudden when reading this part whether episode titles might not actually be part titles of the whole TVL book?

Let’s discuss Gabrielle!  

Question 1: If you were Gabrielle, would you accept immortality from your son, not knowing if him giving you this could kill him?  I feel like if I had a child I’d say no myself… would she rather have immortality even if it had killed Lestat?  Or did she just not think it would kill him?

The first night she is a vampire, Gabrielle steals a load of expensive clothes, only to instantly discard them… Lestat talks of being spiritually exhausted and just wanting to go ‘home’ to the tower to rest.  But he doesn’t dwell fully on the why of it, nor does he dwell on much of the nature of Gabrielle’s new self and what it feels like to him – a monster, yes, but who in many ways tries to be *good* and who certainly at least struggles with the war between striving for good, and being a fabulous devil.  Gabrielle cares nothing for any mortal anymore.  She tells Lestat she feels as if she died, and refers to her mortal self as “she”, not me now (more reasons than one we can assign to this, of course.)  There’s a great quote on p174 with Gabrielle referring to her human self as she rather than me or I.  

It is way more than that she doesn’t care for those she kills in order to live.  She steals expensive clothes from humans, to discard them that same night without caring.  She snaps an innocent boy’s neck for his attire without thought, and without feeding on him.  How does Lestat really feel about this?  It is against the semblance of morality Lestat strives to follow… and yet Lestat also talks of what a wonderful monster he is and rejects his attempts at being moral as a self-deceiving-lie often enough… so, does he admire Gabrielle’s coldness, or does it terrify him?  Or, both?!  He calls her a pure predator… I think he most likely respects this aspect of Gabrielle, and simultaneously fears it, as I feel like the root of it (not actually caring about humans) is incredibly alien and unimaginable to Lestat.  Not dissimilar to how he always felt about the coldness in his Mother, I suppose…?

On this note: 

Vampire Gabrielle is freed from MEN and from human connections.  Her human-self is something she once was and is no longer who she is.  She cannot care about humans and feels separate to them, as The Sky or God may feel separate…  She is TERRIFIED of being trapped, as she felt in life.  To me, the moments as a vampire when she panics seem because of feeling somehow trapped potentially.  Gabrielle panics when her hair grows – she’s trapped with that CONSTRAINT on her free-self now for eternity (I also find it interesting how very practically Lestat responds to Gabrielle’s panic.)  She panics in the coffin in Notre Dame – could religion and men’s imposition of religion trap her?  She wants to be in nature, away from humans and society…

This is SO alien and inconceivable to Lestat!  Lestat fears lack of meaning, being alone and lack of love.  He craves connection to others.  To be good enough for another to find him worthy of love is the meaning of existence to Lestat.

They both fear what the other desires and desire or crave what the other fears…  I don’t think Lestat fully realises (or acknowledges at least) this initially, but I think Gabrielle knows it instantaneously… and so she also fears for Lestat.  She fears whether he will be able to survive.  I think this is one reason she instantly worries about Lestat turning Nicolas… and Gabrielle knows things of Nicolas in this respect of course that Lestat does not.  Nicolas and Gabrielle have been writing to each other, and Gabrielle may see more clearly the impact Lestat’s change in status has had on Nicki than Lestat does, blinded by both love and his new-born vampire self as he is…?  Lestat says Nicki had been drinking to excess and it had left him thinner and haggard, but had made his beauty all the more striking.  He notes the new malice in Nicki, but to Lestat, all human emotion is beautiful - in its humanity, so Lestat never seems to look to deeply into Nicolas’ experience.  We know the few times Lestat glimpsed inside Nicki’s mortal mind, he was terrified by the chaos and desolation he saw and he quickly withdrew.  

On Gabrielle, on p162, Lestat says “We were together and nothing could ever separate us now.”  Clearly he had no idea in that first instant of Gabrielle’s vampire-birth what would come to pass…

Lestat says “There was no mother anymore, no petty need and terror; she was simply who she was.  She was Gabrielle.”  I found this an interesting way of putting across the way vampires are no longer their human-selves – their human ties are instantly severed or altered (unless they choose to try to keep them), yet they are still their selves…?

I loved this way Lestat describes Gabrielle – “She looked delicate as a diamond can look delicate when preyed upon by light.”

So, let’s talk about Nicolas!  At this point, Nicolas is drinking to excess, believes Lestat has done some kind of Free-Masonry/Cult-esque alchemy/magic thing that he’s excluded Nicki from because Nicki is not an aristocrat, so is too societally lowly.  I feel this could be emphasised even more on TV, right in the middle of The French Revolution, as things will be?  It only gets worse when Lestat then *does* turn his own Mother, an aristocrat too.  

Could there even be parallels made between how Nicolas feels about Lestat to how Louis feels, I wonder?  Or that Louis feels differently – because Nicolas felt Lestat had deserted him... when Lestat first vanishes Nicolas is sure to defend Lestat’s integrity, saying that Lestat would never be ashamed of him or his friends and would never perceive himself as above Nicolas or anyone at Renaud’s.  But Nicolas thinks when he watches Lestat die yet live that actually he’d been naïve for once and Lestat HAS in fact excluded Nicolas from some secret he perceives Nicki as unworthy of.  He must feel like Lestat never loved him.  He must feel stupid and bereft and in the darkest place he has ever been.  

I think *this* is Lestat’s failure unto Nicolas.  Nicolas saw and accepted Lestat for all he was - even bringing up that he saw Lestat’s sensitivity when they were children, at The Witches’ Place… And that Lestat felt from Nicki’s music, I imagine made Nicolas felt Lestat accepted him too…. Not least as Lestat surely did love Nicolas deeply.  But now he thinks Lestat actually didn’t accept him for all he was as he saw Nicki as societally beneath him.  

Later, with Louis, we have someone who is not accepted for the all of who he is either – not in society, not within his family, not by God.  But this time, Lestat can accept Louis for the entirety of his self.  And, on TV, that’s exactly what Lestat offers Louis.  Is he learning this from these experiences with Nicolas in some way?

I think Lestat taking Nicolas with him after Renaud’s was Nicolas’ last true hope at survival.  As things went, even before Armand abducts Nicolas and shatters the very last of Nicki’s reason, I think Nicolas is on a path with only one end: death - from the moment he witnesses Lestat be shot to death, but not die… and then leave him.  I don’t say Nicolas had a huge chance at life even had Lestat taken him then.  But maybe Nicolas might have had 1% chance of life if Lestat had taken him away from Renaud’s right then, explained everything, and given Nicolas a choice of what he wanted.  From the moment Lestat left that night… Nicolas’ sand-timer was counting to his death.  I kind of wish Lestat had transformed Nicki the night after he, himself was turned.  Actually I think that would have been Nicki’s best hope.  But then again, I love tragedy too much, so I am happy Nicolas dies as he was always meant to at the same time!  And I don’t think, in his cynicism he was ever right for Lestat for eternity, even as much as I love Nicolas and believe in his and Lestat’s love as true.  I wonder if, when making Louis, in love, he ever thinks back and wonders how it might have been had he transformed Nicolas instantly?  Or had he at least shared with Nicolas instantly what had happened?  But maybe the knowledge of vampires in itself would have been enough to shatter Nicolas’ mind?  Maybe he was too fragile for immortality as it was, such was the level of darkness and cynicism in him, when coupled with his fragility and that religious foundation?  Anyway… I am straying far from the text here…

Small points:

I love Lestat’s connection to animals, for example, how he can summon his horse, even as a vampire.  Especially when animals are general instinctively afraid of vampires.  This is already on TV in S1 so I look forward to seeing this theme in S3 too.

P173 as Lestat and Gabrielle cross the bridge, Lestat feels “a commotion, the tumult of mortal minds.”  Is this Nicolas being abducted?

I WISH ANNE HAD WRITTEN MORE OF GABRIELLE AND MORE FROM HER PERSPECTIVE!

The first night Gabrielle sleeps and looks dead to Lestat and he gives her a blood kiss… what proportion do you think it’s motivated by desire/connection, and what proportion through his fear as she looks dead, she is dead?  It’s a big thing – she was going to die that very die and now she is alive… is she?

I love when Lestat just watches the sunset when he rises.

P178 “I wanted to say Nicki sat by your bed when you were dying, does that mean nothing?” – I loved this and so I quote it.

I love how in these first days of immortality, Gabrielle and Lestat show their love for each other by denying their desires, and remaining alongside each other before all else.

The Witching Hour again starts chapter 5.

P184 – why call any dwelling a home when it can be your LAIR!?!?!

When Lestat first sees the stable boy’s death in his mind he feels the death ‘as if I had seen a small dark bird suddenly rising from the stables.’ And I wondered – is that Nicolas’ mind-bird?

I love how full-out atheist Lestat is in TVL.  He doesn’t question his beliefs.  Like any 20-year-old, he knows his truth.

The hymns Lestat and Gabrielle hear in Notre Dame are both written by Thomas Aquinas, as mentioned in S1E2

Malice is used a LOT in this part

P161 – Even so early in his Vampire life, in traumatic times, Lestat goes back to Winters in the Auvergne in his mind.  Fragments of memory that always return.

P199 – Did Armand get ‘rapture’ from Lestat’s mind?  Armand is super creepy at the end here when he gets into Lestat’s mind… and he says “Come to me”

Lestat says Armand’s great weakness is pride.  Is it so?  

I ended the part writing “Naughty!  Armand!” When Armand tries to bite and drain Lestat.

Lines/bits I thought could be on TV:

“We were in Paris.  And we were going to live forever.”

Gabrielle jump scaring Lestat the first night she rises as her vampire self is pretty funny so I reckon will be on TV?

“But where would I want to go?  Away from all those I’d known and loved? I did not want to stop thinking of you, of Nicki, even of my father and brothers.  I did what I wanted.  If you follow your conscience, you do what you want….. (snip)… I wanted you to be happy.”  (Side note – wealth and gifts don’t make everyone happy, Lestat!) – Gabrielle and Lestat’s innate differences are really noted on P179

I feel Armand’s vampires at the Tower ‘like bats’ could be glorious gothic horror on TV

The stable boy in Nicki’s coat and Lestat not consciously accepting he recognises it at first will surely be on TV????

LOL at Lestat bursting from his coffin in Notre Dame as a Devil… YET still throwing money at strangers, so they love him and are made happier!!!!

“It will be rage until I have proof that it must be grief.”

Obviously I love all the Caravaggio descriptions of Armand, which are SO Assad too!  I hope some make TV!  And ‘like a succubus’!

Armand and Lestat’s fight in Notre Dame will be AMAZING!

Some dualities in IWTV:

Death vs life

Freedom vs connection

Nature vs society

Goodness vs evil

Mortality vs immortality

Enduring vs disintegration

I thought we could discuss any thematic dualities of note and how they may play into the form of the TV show and narrative?

Well that's all of my thoughts on this part... I say it as if I haven't just OUT-TOO-MUCH-ED Lestat himself with my (sadly also way less cool, contextually) too-much-ness!

HO HUM!

(Page numbers are UK current edition paperback.)

[crescent-blades]

"Can humans really live that long?" 

This was a question that occupied the elder's mind for nearly four centuries—during the waning of the golden age, when warriors met their end one after another as soon as they reached their primes—  

—and yet, despite everything, one remained. 

"There are people.. in this world who are favoured by the gods. Even the nature of life.. cannot hinder their existence." 

He spoke out, not wishing to elaborate further. This world was unfair; fate had held partiality towards those it favoured, condemning others who were undeserving. He had seen many families, many children falling into illness so young—tragies that relentlessly besieged them. Fate was cruel. 

Kokushibo nods. Staying away from them would be the wisest thing to do, avoiding their paths in hopes that none would cast their eyes your way. Yet, even so, one could never predict what fate had in store. 

"We may begin your training.. as you see fit. You can let me know whether you are up for it or not.. The choice.. remains up to you." 

He says as he turns his back, walking a small distance away for some drmatic effect. The choice was up to the younger—gaining power to better defend himself or to remain within the forest, living a peaceful life until the end of his days.

[From @crescent-blades]

"Hmmm.."

An ominous figure looms in the distance, it's presence felt increasibly heavy, it was as if an unseen force had a relentless hold on you, making it feel as though every cell in your body was crying out in terror.

"I see.."

Six eyes watch you intently, with one pair distinctly positioned as the 'upper one.'

"So.. you must be the demon.. who trades their blood with normal humans.. for a family? How interesting.."

*A shiver of dread bolted up the smaller demon's spine from the sense of being watched, something that was relatively uncommon for him to feel in his own forest considering that despite his poor vision he could usually hear even the tiniest sounds and sense even the smallest movements. He whipped around looking for it's source and created a thin but sharp web between his hands. He spotted his superior just as the taller demon spoke.*

"Ah um...not quite humans, more so newly turned demons...but yes that would be me..."

*He felt that distinction was important to make but could understand where the line between the two was a bit muddled. He despawned his web, knowing his limits well and was well aware he couldn't intimidate the upper-moons let alone fight them if he wanted to. He then brushed aside the bangs which covered the eye that had "lower moon five" emblazoned across it. It seemed the smaller demon was as timid as he was soft-spoken, however given his notably small size and ranking as one of the weakest moons that was understandable.*

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[dustteller]

Reading He Who Drowned the World and honestly Baoxiang has no right to be as bitchy as he is about Ouyang squandering Esen's love or whatever. Baoxiang is genuinely convinced that Esen loathes him. No you dumb bitch, your brother loves you and the reason he's giving you a hard time is because he wants you to be safe and happy and healthy. Yeah, he sucks at expressing it, and his efforts are misguided (bc the toxic masculinity gender rolesis fucking up Esen as much as it's fucking up everyone else), but Esen very much does love Baoxiang deeply. Every time Baoxiang remembers a time when Esen "enjoyed his fear" or whatever, I can only think of these parts of Esen's POV from the first book:

Esen's first instinct is to defend his brother. The only reason he doesn't is bc Baoxiang leaves before he can. And Baoxiang glares at him bc he assumes that Esen agrees with Altan and won't defend him, but no, Esen WANTED to defend him and it's Baoxiang that took away his oportunity to do so.

And a bit later, we have this interaction. Baoxiang assumes (again) that Esen would hate him if he was gay, and immediately goes on the defensive. Meanwhile, Esen literally does not care about this except for how it would affect his brother's reputation. He's just WORRIED. He doesn't care if Baoxiang is gay or whatever, but he's deeply aware that if he IS it would put him in more danger. Because, again, he cares about his brother, and he hates seeing what he assumes is Baoxiang making his own life harder.

And it's heartbreaking bc Baoxiang will probably never realize how much Esen adores him. He's so jealous of Ouyang for having his brother's heart without realizing that Esen sees him as his beloved baby brother and is desperately trying to protect him from a world that he KNOWS is cruel to him. Baoxiang will never know that his greatest supporter and the only person that loved him unconditionally was Esen. And maybe it would be WORSE if he realized how dear he was to Esen, because the realization that all thise things that caused him pain were borne out of a deep, unconditional LOVE and not the disdain he's convinced himself Esen felt for him might break him. Baoxiang has deluded himself into simplifying Esen's feelings for him into those of hate and disdain because its so much harder to accept that the person you love the most has destroyed you out of love. Baoxiang is doing the exact same thing Ouyang does in convincing himself that he's unlovable and relishing in the world's response as a form of self-harm. And Esen, who is genuinely trying (and floundering horribly) is a great tool for Baoxiang to use to tear himself apart.

And, on the other hand, Esen will never realize how much damage his attempts to help Baoxiang caused. He loves him so much, bc that's his baby brother! It's his job to protect him! But Esen has been raised as the golden poster child of a Mongol Warrior Man, a perfect pinacle of masculinity, and is thus doomed to only being able to express his love and acceptance for Baoxiang through a tough love, lets sand down all the edges to remove friction approach. For him, pushing Baoxiang into a box IS an act of love. It's the act of saying I love and accept you, and so I will help you succeed in all the things you're bad at so that everyone will love you too. Except by doing this, he doesn't realize how awful he's being and how he's asking someone that CANT ever fit the mold to break himself in the attempt. He's a perfect Mongol Warrior Man after all, and as such he has never been given the tools to express his affection in a healthy way. He will never truly understand how much he's an asshole, not because he is lacking in love (as Baoxiang assumes) or because he is incapable of sympathizing (as ouyang thinks), but because understanding is not something allowed of him and his role in society. At the end of the day, Esen is as much a slave to his role as all the other characters are, and now he's dead he will never be able to break free of the assumptions people have made of him. He went to his grave having destroyed the people he loved most, and now he will never have the chance to prove their assumptions wrong as be better.

[calciferstims]

tiktokers be like “I am going to create the most beautiful, relaxing, aesthetically pleasing video ever, with gorgeous lighting, and deeply satisfying content”. …….. “and then I’m going to cut the video fifty thousand times in thirty seconds-”