#A rare Big Sad from me
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| To live and leave fast |
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Pairing: Andrea Nuñez x Horacio Carrillo
For @narcosfandomdiscord NarcOctober - Day 16 (+ a bit of Day 15 tbh)
Prompt: Day of Surprises (+ a smidge of Day of Absolute Filth) - create a fanwork that focuses on dreams (+ a smidge of character's moral corruption)
Word count: â 2.3K
TWs: Canon-consistent violence, Real Big Sad, angst with some smoochin'
What was he doing here? He couldnât answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic. okay sjsjs the way I told myself that I was gonna stop at 800 words and it becamekfjs this. So again, imsorryforeverything but uhh yea, I barely proofread this so the Spanish is prolly rough and so is everything else but hey! We can just blame it on itâs all a dream, right âŠ.? Right??? Anyway, enjoy some shockingly non-antagonistic and sometimes tender back-and-forth btwn these two and probably the most ooc Carrillo to ever exist bc Iâve never written for him before. Idk why Iâm so obsessed with this crackship but I am and it is what it is
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Her voice rang out, âSo, tell me. How long do you really think you can go on like this?â almost in time with the flashing red light that cut through the half-broken blinds, filling the dank, dingy room.
Carrillo tried sitting forward from where he mustâve fallen asleep slumped against something, presumably the wall of someoneâs living room. No, not someoneâs living room. No oneâs living room. Because the place was a mess, covered in old takeout wrappers from Tijuanaâs finest dining establishments, broken glass, cobwebs, and dust that wouldâve been more befitting of an ancient tomb than this place. The smell of vodka or maybe rubbing alcohol burned his nose but he couldnât pinpoint where it mightâve been coming from.
Was he even still in Tijuana? Huh. Well, that would have to wait till later. Anyway, he didnât need to know what city he was in to know he was in an abandoned safe house. Which narco faction it belonged to didnât make a difference. This one had to have been empty for at least a month, probably more, judging by the disarray. That and the insect activity. From Escobar to El Señor de los Cielos, the pace of the narco-lifestyle only lent itself to living and leaving fast, and whatever got left behind was usually beside the point.
Okay, but howâd he get here.
Maybe if he asked her, sheâd stop looking right through him from where she stood across the room, arms crossed, leaning back against a mostly empty bookshelf that housed a few old books, some technical manual for car engines, and what looked like some old issues of Penthouse or some other stag magazine. High brow reading. He wondered if sicarios knew how much of a cliche they all were. Just once heâd like to meet one who enjoyed basketweaving, or birdwatching, or who was sentimental about their girlfriend. Anything that broke type. Then again, when it came to breaking type, he wasnât in the best position to judge.
âAy, por favooor, cabrĂłn.â Startled, he jerked forward at the sound of her voice. âRemember when I told you that you were straight out of Central Casting for a war movie?â Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, she scoffed, âWho are you to talk about breaking type, hombre?â
What the hell. Howâd sheâ He didnâtâ Or, had heâ Was he talking out loud this whole time?
He sat up straighter and a pain lit up his right side, going from dull to blinding. Hands already at the damp spot on his shirt, trying not to scream, he could tell the wound there was bleeding more now from the pressure of sitting up. Wait no, that was good. Actually, he could use that. Inhaling with the strength of his whole body, he pressed his fingers down, jamming them into the wound, and let the pain accumulate in his chest and ribcage, then exhaled, hoping his breath would send the sensation up further to his face, his forehead, activate the muscles there to share the load of his heavy eyelids.
He didnât think he was talking out loud, but then, he mustâve been since sheâd answered. That meant something, he knew. He couldnât focus though. Why couldnât he focus? Whatâd it mean? Oh right, blood loss. It was worse than he realized. But why wasnât she helping him? No matter how furious she was with him, that wouldnât have been like her, standing there while he bled out.
âAy pinshe Carrillo, no seas mamĂłn. I was helping but you fought me the minute I started trying to clean the thing. And then,â brows knit in his favorite it-is-what-it-is position, she pointed to a puddle by his feet, âyou knocked the bottle out of my hands,â then shrugged, looking around the room absently. âAnd vodka was the only thing I could find in this place that even comes close to sanitary. So, I had to wait for you calm down or pass out before I could do anything.â
He had no memory of that. In fact, he had no memory of anything before that dingy little room. Which was weird. Heâd been hit in the head enough times that lapses in memory werenât an altogether foreign experience, but usually he could remember something from before. Sometimes it might be hours before whatever disaster, but he at least remembered. Now, it was just blank. It occurred to him that he might beâ
ââand you might be in shock,â she finished aloud.
Jesus, was he saying everything he was thinking? He watched her and waited, seeing if sheâd answer more questions in his head.
That light outside kept flashing, bathing the room in a deep shade of red that danced off the broken glass, creating macabre shadows that skittered up the walls, across the floor, the ceiling. Through the blinds too, it cast alternating stripes of red and black on her face. It wouldâve been beautiful if it wasnât so sinister-looking. Well no, it made her more stunning, in a haunting, alien way, even though she looked how she usually did: hair messily pulled back, a few strands hanging in her face, wearing a tank-top and that button-up heâd found at the Salvation Army in San Ysidro. He couldnât focus. Thatâs right, heâd gone to drop off some old dining chairs he had no use for, caught it out of the corner of his eye hanging with the rest of the menâs button-ups. And instantly thought of her. Why couldnât he focus. The pain finally reached his eyes.
Again, she answered his thoughts. âWell, as much as I wanted to fight you for fighting me,â she looked down, pinching the collar of the shirt and wiggling it back and forth like a dollar bill, âI didnât get far enough in the process of dressing your wound to ruin it. And it is one of my favorites. I have to give it to you, tigre. Your attention to detail is the stuff of legend, and they were not wrong.â
At that, he smiled tiredly. She rocked forward, kicking off the bookshelf, and strode over to him, bits of glass crunching under the gummy, rubber souls of her boots. Doc Martens. So practical. They really were, the two of them, the same sometimes.
âAndrea,â her name came out in a whisper and a wince as he clutched at his side. He looked down in a daze that no matter how many times he blinked, how wide he forced his eyes open, he couldnât shake. âHowâd thâ what happened? What are you doing here? Howâd youâ ,â he grunted, shifting his weight to his good side, âmmâ get here?â
âTe he seguido, obvio.â
What? She folloâ he hadnât even briefed anyone on the raid at Agua Caliente until right before. Trujillo would never. Walt? No, after the debacle in Juarez, he was too wrapped up needing this win to jeopardize it by talking to a reporter. Even one as dogged and persistent as Andrea. And yes, she was resourceful. But resourceful, not psychic.
It felt like a lifetime of sitting there trying put it all together and he didnât remember when sheâd started making her way towards him, but she was already kneeling next to him now, slowly removing his hands from his side. Her eyes and forehead pinched in such a way that wouldâve amplified his concern if he werenât so out of it.
Her fingers felt cold around his neck. âĂrre, we need to get this off,â she said, unbuttoning the collar of his uniform.
He was alarmed when his hands brushed hers and he saw they were covered in some dark substance. Oh, blood. Strange, it looked pitch black in this light. Andrea continued working her way down, pulling each button gingerly, so as not to hurt him more. The closer she got to his stomach, the more her hands began to resemble his, covered in black.
âDale, mija. ÂżMe vas a explicar lo que haces aquĂ ya o quĂ©?â
He wanted to rub his thumb across her lip as it curled up in a smug smile. âWhy? Should I not be here? You want me to leave? Sure,â she craned her neck around, and called out into the empty room, âIâll just be on my way then and let someone in this massive crowd of eager, good samaritans help you.â
He chuckled thinly. When she faced back to him, she began untucking his shirt as delicately as possible. It hurt like a sonofabitch but it was going to hurt no matter what they did, so he softened the corners of his eyes, trying not to make her feel bad.
She continued. âThe better question I think is, what are you doing here?â
Once he was free from his dress shirt, she grabbed both sides of the hole in the white shirt underneath and tore it wider to get a better look at the wound. Blood leaked out in streams down his stomach to his waist. It appeared to be a large gash from some kind of shrapnel. Much too jagged for a knife. The harsh sound of air through her teeth was a good indicator of what kind of shape he was in.
Alright so, shrapnel. But he couldnât remember an explosion and there was no evidence of one having happened there in the room. What was he doing here? He couldnât answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic.
Heâd been doing a passable job not reacting too viscerally with his face, but when she started rifling through his pockets on either side, he grimaced, growling, âAy, Andrea! QuĂ© coño estĂĄs haciendo, porfavor.â
Paying him no mind, she held out her hand like a surgeon waiting for a scalpel. âKnife.â
He jutted his chin toward his feet. Spotting the shiny silver clip, she grabbed the knife from his boot, flicked it out, and made an incision in the hem of his uniform shirt. Catching the free section in her teeth, she tore down the length of the initial incision, and started packing the vodka-soaked gauze that sheâd managed to hold onto after his freakout onto the wound and tying it with the strips of cloth cut from the shirt. When she pulled hard, securing the final knot, he nearly keeled over.
âAycarajoperdĂłnperdĂłnperdĂłname,â she said, catching him by the shoulders.
She stayed there, acting as his scaffolding until the pain subsided. He lifted his chin to rest his forehead against hers and catch his breath. Just in her wanting to help him, the assurance of her fingertips against his shoulders, he felt her helping him. He couldnât remember a time he was so grateful for another human being. Grateful in the way only she could make him feel.Â
Speaking half to her and half to the ground, he tried putting the pieces together, âI donât know what Iâm doing here. For some reasonââ but lost the words when heâd barely gotten started.
âWhat?â
âI donât know. Itâsâ I have this strangeâ I have a feeling weâve always been here. And will ⊠always be here.â
Andrea nodded, eyes closed, like she knew exactly what he was talking about. It might feel like a trap if they didnât have each other. She was always more than enough.
After a beat of silence, she pulled back and looked at him sadly, like she knew something he didnât. Which was odd given what she asked next. âHoracio, por favor, necesito saberlo. Why? Why did you do it?â
Whyâd he do it? Whyâd he do, what?
âI know itâs in there, I know you remember. You have to, or youâll never make it out of here.â
He shook his head, squinting his eyes, confused and cranky like a kid prematurely woken up from a nap. âMake it out? Iâm not gonna make it out. Not unless you help me. Look atââ he motioned to his side, âNi siquiera puedo andar, mija.â
âYes, you can,â she insisted calmly, her eyes full of an inexplicable mix of hope and resignation.
What did she know that he didnât?
âI donât know anything you donât know. You just donât want to know it. But you have to try, tigre. Eso es la Ășnica manera de vengarte a Ă©l. No more cutting corners. No more deals with the devil. Eres mejor que eso, ya lo sabes.â
The devil. The devil. The flashing red light. Deals. Deals with the devil.
Ah. Calderoni. That. That fucking deal.
His own C.I.s in exchange for Calderoniâs intel on Agua Caliente, el HipĂłdromo, Carlos Hank Gonzalez. A bigger fish than the Arellanos. Even though he knew exactly what the family would do to the informants. Theyâd have to stop building bridges in Mexico to hang people from. He showed up in Tijuana to clean up Rebolloâs mess and gone ahead and made his own.
Still, she was never part of the deal. But he could guess how that happened. In some boardroom meeting he conveniently wasnât present for, somehow âjournalistâ and âinformantâ got conflated. They were wise not to include him. Not only would he not have agreed, he wouldâve ensured not a single one of them made it out of there on two feet and breathing.
So, is this what itâs like watching the boulder come crashing down the mountain for the hundredth? Thousandth? Millionth time?
Carrilloâs face fell with understanding. âBut I canât lose you.â
âSĂ, pero lo tienes que hacer. You have work to do. Because I love you. And you love me. And you owe me. And,â she rolled her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then flashed a dangerous smile, âI want you to burn the whole motherfucking thing to the ground.â
Then, cradling the back of his neck with both hands, she leaned in, lips christening him on the forehead, each of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, coming to a close at his own. There was a finality to the kiss that made him dig in deeper as if he could hold her here without lifting a finger, an urgency she returned so fiercely, when they broke away both their lips were swollen and flushed. Not without passion, but it wasnât carnal so much as the pure desperation of goodbye.
âGoing after those pinshe shingamadres is the least you can do.â He hadnât even registered tears at his eyes until she brushed one with her thumb that had escaped down onto his cheekbone and mused, âAfter all, you are the reason Iâm dead.â
âŽ
Slapped with a blast of air, his whole body jolted back to life, as he came to in a cold sweat, ceiling fan taunting him from above while he gasped for air and shivered against the damp sheets. He was so used to waking up violently like this, it didnât even scare him anymore. Confused him a little, maybe. But reassurance was quick to follow and his breathing slowed as he relaxed, because ah, yes, he knew how to deal with the nightmares now.
Like clockwork, he reached for his life preserver, turning and throwing his arm over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel the warmth of her back, her shoulders, hear her steady breathing next to him. But his hand sailed straight through empty air and landed on the cold, vacant spot of the mattress instead.
He almost doubled over. Pain unlike anything.
Worse than when Trujillo first delivered the news to him in his office. Much worse. The perpetual renewal of shock that this was real and the place in that dingy room in his head was not, only sharpened the blow each time. But he deserved to be wounded and wounded like this over and over again. After all, he was responsible, she was right about that.
She wasnât here to help him with the nightmares anymore. Now, she only lived in his.
â
taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc @narcolini
#andrea nuñez#horacio carrillo#andrea nuñez x horacio carrillo#narcoctober#Day of surprises#Although ngl I fully started writing this yesterday#But didnât finish and was gonna make it my fourth amnesfy day post sksksksn#so also lowkey Day of Absolute Filth#But then the surprise prompts slapped and I was like :woah-weebay:#do I spy a porque no los dos#I think I do#and it turns out I did sksk#Also one of the most upsetting fics Iâve ever written probably sksksks#A rare Big Sad from me#I say as I cackle and kick my feet together with glee#narcos/narcos mexico crossover#narcos#narcos mexico#netflix narcos#netflix narcos mexico#narcos fandom discord
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Are yall the type to have one huge playlist or a bunch of mini playlists that have certain moods and genres put into them
- sincerely someone with a playlist filled with 4K songs
#no I'm not joking#everytime i say this people flinch#like yes I do just randomly scroll#yes I do get whiplash#with Hamilton's satisfied being right after N25's cover of Kitty#shocked? don't be#yes it switched from kpop to j city pop to just French to Russian#MY PLAYLIST RESEMBLES MY MOOD SWINGS#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#adds the tags#anyways I'm a firm believer Asher just has a big ASS playlist#convince me otherwise you will not#NAWT DOJA CAT COMING ON#joking this song kinda hits#I had ice cream by BP in this playlist for a while and I didn't realize because I rarely get to the middle part#of the playlist#so I promptly REMOVED that song#there's also like certain parts of my playlist where you could tell I was smoking that good shit#because it's just BANGER AFter BANGER AFTER BANGER#NO SKIPS#JUST STRAIGHT BANGERS#and then there's the parts that are sad#happy#twerkable#and so forth#it's very funny
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I love all the little details in In Stars and Time so much
(Just as a note, I am currently in (the beginning? of) act 3)
The way that after a few loops the excited "It's my allies!" turns into a less enthusiastic "It's my allies." (And I think it used to be "it's my friends!" but I'm not entirely sure)
The first time Siffrin knocks into the counter and gets embarrassed, and then another (the next?) time it's frustrated, and then playful, and then frustrated again but this time refusing to show it.
The little remarks that become "..." in later loops
I'm pretty sure the descriptions of the deaths got a little more graphic? I think when he slipped on the banana peel it said that he tripped or that he fell. In a later loop it said something about cracking their head open on a rock or something.
Their wish for victory became a wish for rest
It's just so interesting to me. For some reason, this game almost makes me feel like I'm reading a book. But also not really? I think it's because of how the details are laid out. My favorite stories to read have almost always been the ones that I can pick apart, and this game is very much like that.
#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#maybe? they're pretty small spoilers compared to the one I ran into#just in case#I love this game soooooooo much#I see siffrin and get immediate cute aggression#amd they're so sad :(#I want his friends to notice that something is off#I've seen little moments of it but nothing big yet#and there are some odd things going on that intrigue me#bonnie said the weird sadness (which looks a little like loop) smells like burnt sugar#the king mentioned something about siffrins smell#does he smell like burnt sugar too?#the weird sadnesses are connected to time in some way since defeating them lets you get rid of time stopping tears#also I'm pretty sure king is the croissant dude#and that he and siffrin are from the island everyone forgot#maybe it's that place on the globe that's been worn down?#the fact that siffrins carvings only come out well when they chant things like âplease be good please be good please be goodâ is interestin#and their wishes for being faster/stronger/whatever the other one was called always comes true#despite mirabelle saying that the change god rarely blesses anyone#oh! there was that weird double siffrin down the hall that disappeared when I got closer#and at one point siffrin became so stressed that time rewound without him dying or being frozen#and it always hurts his stomach when he loops back#I'm just waiting for the group to get suspicous/concerned#and for siffrin to have another breakdown#this gaaaaaaaaame#I love it so much
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in the last episode of zard patton ka bunn today, meenu graduates medical school with the highest honors after having a hell of a time getting there and sheâs brought back on stage to give a speech, but she runs and puts her medals around her fatherâs neck in front of her cohort. her father looks up at her with a proud grin and smile, dancing in his seat with excitement, and that scene punched me in the GUT.
i cried for a good 30 minutes over it because my dad is just as supportive of me and my dreams, to the lengths he goes for me and my sisters, including right now, where heâs driving 20+ hours to see all of us during a work trip since all three of us live in different states and he lives out of america.
there isnât a wish iâve had that he hasnât supported or fulfilled when it was the right time and i just reallyâŠa girly is so emotional all the time over her dad đ„č
#zee rambles#iâm just so SAD and ALONE all the time#and every time i think of my dad itâs honestly such a trigger button for tears when i rarely cry in general#but that scene#watching meenuâs father relentlessly defend her and support her dreams and her love#letting her talk to him about being in love with nofel when most fathers shy away from talking to their daughters directly#UGHHH so many feelings all the time#because my dad is a quiet man and is always easily embarrassed by shows of physical affection but heâs coming to see me next sunday#and he always gives me the tightest hugs and everything which. idk#it may not seem big to yâall but for my dad thatâs like amazing#personal#zee stop using tumblr as your personal diary challenge#i just have a lot of feelings#i cried writing this post lol
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I having lots of emotions about not graduating this spring this evening and I don't appreciate it.
#my friend just got offered a national parks job#which is what he's wanted for years#we took a class together two falls ago and he was talking about it then#and i am so so happy for him#he has worked his ass off and deserves it#but i am also so sad for me#i feel like i've lost so much time to being sick and like i haven't accomplished the things i wanted to in college#but everyone else around me is#national parks jobs. fulbright finalists. grad school applications. editor of the school paper. starting a band. getting engaged soon.#idk i know this will pass and five years from now this will not seem like a big deal#but right now it is so heavy#and also i'm pretty lonely in my real life right now#my roommate spends so much time with her boyfriend who lives an hour away#my other friends are so busy i rarely see them#i don't live on campus anymore so i don't have a nearby community#i get most of my social interaction with my residents at work#and i love them but i do desperately need other kinds of social interaction#anyway everyone ignore this
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I'm only on episode 13 of like 60-something of brotherhood and I already know this show is going to make me cry help
(I have also finally realized "fullmetal" is one word and not two lmao)
#tbh it almost has once or twice already lol#Fun fact I used to rarely ever cry at shows and whatnot#but the past several years like things just get to me easier I guess lol#Not entirely in a bad way tho. For me it's probably a good thing actually#A couple of the Big Sad moments so far#were things I already knew were coming just from seeing them referenced online a bunch.#I just didn't know the context or when they happened#So they didn't really get me tbh#but save for some vague plot points within the next few episodes I'm pretty much blind from here on - oh no#lee speaks#fmab
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truly dgaf about traumadumping i do sometimes experience empathy (like, in the crying over a sad story form) but it probably won't go off unless you have an incredibly tragic story are visibly emoting and i already really like you. so it doesn't really stress me out. people talk about fucked up things in cavalier and humorous ways it's how we deal with things. i am not really emotionally phased by discussing most fucked up or personal things in my own life expect for one or two topics that will make me immediately break down, so like who am i to judge. also learning things about people is fun.
#sounds dumb but i read so much as a child that i mostly formed a sense of empathy through that#in terms of like vicariously experiencing emotions. i am generally very altruistic. i can't read people very well either#which can be part of low empathy but it really depends on your definition. it's something people comment on but not a big deal generally#but it means i can kind of relate to people as characters. like the things i know about people and human behavior#and the kind of lives people might be living was first derived from a lot of books#and as i meet the kind of people i never read about i feel like i process that the same way i processed the stories#which i think helped make me more... perceptive. im generally good at reading people. But obviously kind of fucked up#in terms of relating and talking to people. I do care about people obviously but it's kind of rare that I do so emotionally#like get vicariously sad or angry more than I would over a novel character.#anyway. in the most well adjusted way possible please tell me thing about you so i can expand#my mental image of you and relate to new people i meet or read about through lived experience
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you know i don't use amazon but something i often think about. several years ago my mom ordered me some books for my birthday on amazon and one of them i asked for was the oxford world's classics edition of the rover and other plays by aphra behn edited and with an introduction by jane spencer. it was supposedly new but when it got to me, the cover (paperback) was folded at an angle and the edges of the pages were dirty like they were left somewhere contaminated. and you see i don't mind like a not-pristine book at all; most of my books are used. but what the fuck was that.
#that's still the edition i read out of and everything but wtf#i get that it is not a popular book at all#it probably has been sitting in the warehouse for a very long time#how is amazon treating their rare-selling inventory? that things get neglected like that?#i suppose it's a bit of a bummer bc it's damaged and i could've had a nice new one#but i never made a fuss or anything#tales from diana#fun fact it is listed as the 593456th best-selling book on amazon#act fast!!!!! grab a copy now!!!!!!!#no but you really should grab a copy. aphra behn's works are so under-recognized for how influential they were#and they're just funny fucking plays. the feigned courtesans? bruh#its the 880219th best-selling book according to barnes and noble's website#their awful 30-dollar gilded leather paperweight of the complete works of shakespeare (w no notes and unreadably small text)#is 2429th in sales. when it deserves to be negative a millionth#srsly the existence of that book pisses me off since it CANNOT be a good way to be introduced to his works#if anything it must be so frustrating. if u are someone or theres someone in your life curious abt shakespeare buy any other edition#it's not hard to find the arden or the oxford or the riverside shakespeare etc. for less than $30 secondhand online#or buy the plays individually or rent them from a library if you're just getting your feet wet/don't want a big unwieldy tome#literally that gigantic copy-paste w no new or useful supplementary material they've been selling for years. i cant imagine#how many ppl have bought it and tried to read through it and been so discouraged. makes me sad honestly#and frankly. on top of it. their design is just so ugly#there's no thought in it at all it's just a fancy pattern w a first folio engraving smacked onto the center. yawn#my riverside shakespeare 1973 is in really rough physical condition but the vestiges of its beautiful design remain#and that's that on that#also if there's anyone in your life who is interested in shakespeare please also turn them onto aphra behn. pls and thank you
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i kind of feel like deleting my instagram but on another hand that's like the last window i have left to somewhat see what my old school friends are up to
#partially inspired by me giving my number to my ex best friend and asking to message me when she has time and if she still wants to talk#buut i got ghosted so i guess thats a big no#i still think when she went to study elsewhere she probably thought of me as good riddance#since id hang onto her pretty much all the time with not really having other close friends#like there were other friends but we werent as close#on another hand whenever weve rarely seen irl weve grown apart so much that i dont think re-friending is possible#this is why you dont stay up past your bed time you just get sad#i miss having a bestie god im so lonely its been 9 years#i just want someone to feel as close to me as i feel to them#i didnt think id start crying from just writing shit in tags
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Love being an artist bc i can just draw silly little snippets of things without having to justify them as a detailed story w consequences or i would go insane
#the rest of the post in tags bc im being very vague abt something rlly specific#like something is probably wrong w me but#despite loving complex and human depictions of relationships and consequences sometimes they just#fill me with such lethargy#weight me down and make me SOOOOO SAD#like yes superbat are tragic and its compelling#bruce in general is very tragic#even in narumitsu edgeworth and phoenix have such sharp edges born from the disbarrment and the fake suicide#wangxian can have their happiness but they r both so broken and have such big holes in their heart to fill#its all fascinating and human and complicated and rarely doesnt hurt#writers do it such justice but i cant even deal thinking about it im SO TIRED of life in general that thinking about it in fiction sometimes#does me in#and ik writers can do ficlets or whatever but thats the thing i dont function like that i need them to have complex hurting emotions#so art rlly gives me leeway to depict things without having to cut my fingers on the edges of the details idk#much to think about ive just been very tired bc of irl and i feel guilty for indulging in silly things when they can be cliche#so i cant look away from the tragic humanity either
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so I was not prepared for people returning their dead fish and having the âdiedâ option on the til for returns at petsmart lol
#its like sad but itâs also a lil funny because they just bring the dead fish in a plastic bag and smack it on the counter#like ???????#finished my first day and everything came back to me from working at rite aid#literally 15 min into my shift someone came and stole 2 big bags of food#i could tell when they came in and literally the sound of him taking it#itâs very specific#itâs simply the fact that they keep their head down and make a b line#but this place is SO clean and the people are SO NICE and the overall store is just SO tidy which is unfortunately so rare in retail#i close tomorrow with others but this weekend is gonna be rough cause the game#south Philly at night on the weekend is wild
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I'm out here making RPF OCs you can't even imagine. My mind is open. My spirit is soaring. Haters lament my whimsy and power.
#rpf#oc#Rpf OC#I've had a really bad week#Buffer tags take me to the read more zone#Maybe just one more#Okay here we go#Turns out my grandpa and my dad and probably me all have a rare hereditary leukemia#Killed my grandpa but my dad they caught it before it activated#Going to get checked soon#Uh#Feeling pretty fucked up#Might be why I'm so sick and my blood sucks and does not fuck#Maybe we can do something about it#Hopefully it's not active in me yet#Been trying to comfort my friends and loved ones but#I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know what to do#I feel like I'm going to die#Honestly I want to make out with people and have more sex about it#I'm so scared and sad and I feel so alone because I have to be so brave for everyone around me#I want to be petty and inconsolable and slutty#I just wanted to write books and be a professor#Be a good cree auntie#Adopt some kids from my family who need it#But no#Now I'm the fuck with leukemia#Who knows what I get to do#Who knows when or if it will kill me#If you know me in person and this is how you're finding out I'm so sorry#I've been trying to tell everyone but it's so big and painful
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Vent
Tw: sewerslide and SH
#....i really miss being 4yrs without a care in the world and my family loved each other so purely#fuck its not fair that she does this to me#im shaking over how upset this is making me#i cant always be the one at fault thats IMPOSSIBLE and not fair#she sees it as im lazy n dont like being told to do stuff#i see it as she literally picks on me everytime her health anxiety gets to her or her fiance......i watch it happen like fuckin clockworm#but im the bad guy im the lazy emotional youngest sibling whos life was sooooooo perfect cus mom n dad treated me different#I WAS HIGHLY AUTISTIC#im sorry that you wanna feel special so you gotta pretend my life was just so great cus i got extra attention#I NEEDED EXTRA ATTENTION#Dad did his best to make us all feel equal and you know thst#i du no im jjst fucking done with the littlw comments#i read over my dads shoulder so i already knew but my sister brought up what he said to her before sending me here since the waters broke#he said âplease dont say anything to her she has enough on her plateâ#and she just got all snippy with me about it#....i literally came to your house with 3 big slashes on my arm when do i get a fucking break from the picking????#next time ill do both my arms maybe then shell have nice emptions for me#im literally frozen in my seat sweating cus of how upset im trying not to bw#its very rare she has a soft moment with me and she completely ignores my scars or my mental health#shes now crying in the other room......#like....i dont even know what to do abymore its not fair im always the bad guy#i shouldnt have to deal with a shitty attitude ontop of the other stuff i got going on#its like shes allowed to stab me but i even react to the pain suddenly im a horrible person#its times like these i just wanna end myself cus im tired of trying so hard and having no one to unmask with#im constantly performing for other people only to not get the same energy back im SO tired#update: i escaped#i love my sister but when shes struggling she acts bitchy towards me and thats not fair#literally did the oppisite of what my dad asked her lmao#i bet she stopped crying and is now finding any lil mistake to bitch about#now im blasting sad music into my ears in hopes of not spiraling
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dont understand why my brother never speaks directly to me, he always tells me things through my mom and idk why bc he has my number, if he wants to tell me something then he should text me
#it bothers me even more after i once read a conversation between them#and they were talking about me and my brother told my mom to tell me all these things#and the thing about it is that everything he said was so meaningful and it had a huge impact on me after i read it#cause for the first time in my life i felt understood by someone from my family#and i probably never wouldâve known about those messages if i hadnt been nosey and read them myself#bc my mom NEVER said a thing about those messages#i just dont understand why he never texts me directly#i text him and he rarely even sees them#and yes it makes me sad#even more after i lived with him for a few months#bc iâd felt as if those few months helped change our relationship a bit#making us become closer even if itâs just a little#which is one of the things i most yearn for#being close and comfortable with him the way i am with my other brother#bc i didnt exactly grow up with him due to our big age gap#and then i come back to mexico and i text him often so we dont lose contact and keep us as close as possible#even if weâre away from each other#but he barely replies#barely even opens the messages#and it makes me so fucking sad#does he find me that annoying and bothersome???#was i such a burden to him while living there and now that im gone he no longer wants to hear of me??#nessquik
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to be known .đ„ Ę Ë
{mlb!megumi fushiguro x f!reader}
summary: itâs time to meet papa gojo! and you are absolutely shitting it the moment megumi pulls into his dadâs driveway regardless of his countless reassuranceâ wanting nothing more than for his dad to like you and earn his respect. in the midst of all the chaos, gojo spontaneously suggests then you all take a trip up to the mountains, you absolutely ecstatic that you get to spend a little getaway with the people you love most. but when gojo reveals to you a heavyâ more serious part of megumiâs life that completely throws you by surprise, sorrowful words leave your boyfriendâs mouth upon confrontation.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, FILTHY AFF SMUTT, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it yâall), oral, pussy eating and fingerin YEOWW, DIRTY TALK, squirting, DOMINANT MEGUMI YâALL ALREADY KNOW, fluufff!, pet names, cursing, SAD MEGUMI LORE :(, angst af but with comfort, DEVOTED MEGUMI MY LORD!, all characters are aged up.
word count: 18.6k (BROOO LMFAOAOAO I CAANTTT IM SORRYâ)
authors note: PARTT THREEE AWWW FUCK MAN!!! this one is centered around megumi and i hope to GODDDD YOU GUYS LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO! the amount of love i have gotten from this series is actually fucking CRAZAAYYY i cannot be more thankful i truly cannot express how much you guys mean to me i do not have words but all i can say is that i love you all SO fucking much!! MWAAHHH <333
i highly advise you to read the other parts of this series or else you wonât be able to understand some of the storyline and references :( you can find my mlb!megumi fushiguro masterlist here!
the minute megumi pulled into gojoâs driveway, you started rambling.
âdo i look okay? wait gumi did my hair get messed up when i rolled down the window? fuck! is my top too skimpy? hold on do you think heâll like the sweets i brought? or should we drive to the market oh god take me to the marketââ
megumi reached over and squished your cheeks together with his right hand, muffling your speech and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
âyouâre fine baby.â he mumbled, gently letting go of your face and unbuckling both your seatbelt and his. âyou have nothing to worry about.â
âi have everything to worry about!â you whined. âthis is your dad gumi this is so so important and i can literally feel it in my bones how iâm about to fuck this up itâs my sixth sense itâs flaring upââ
he snorted and shook his head, nudging your forehead gently with his index finger.
âstop. put away your sixth sense.â
you smirked.
âonly if you pull your big one out if you know what i meââ
megumi whipped his head in your direction with wide eyes and pink cheeks as you slipped into a fit of giggles, you leaning over the console and pressing a sweet kiss to his cheekâ a little sly grin slipping from his mouth as you settled back into your seat.
âwhat?â you shrugged your shoulders, feigning innocence. âi thought i could tell you anything? is this relationship not built out of trust? out of honesty?â
ânot if itâs making my dick hard in the middle of my dadâs driveway.â he muttered, and you giggled relentlessly again.
âiâm sorry gumi iâm sorryââ you reached up and caressed his spiky hair softly. âdo you wanna put your hand on my tit? maybe itâll help withââ
âbaby!â he gasped. âwhat is with you right now-â
âgumiâ itâs every time you wear that godforsaken white button up itâs driving me nuts and now iâm gonna have to restrain my whore alter ego until we get back to your apartmentââ
megumi threw his head back and laughed, his rare big smile shining as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you in, stuffing your face into his chest as you felt his laughter buzz through.
you embraced each other for a quiet moment, his quick heartbeat vibrating against your ear as you cheekily smiled at the speeding rate of it, yours no doubt matching in rhythm with his if not fucking worse as he kissed the top of your head and released you.
âi hope your dad likes meâŠâ you murmured, looking down at your hands and fiddling with the hem of your top.
âhe will.â he pushed gently. âtrust me please.â
megumi lifted his hand and ran an affectionate thumb over your little cheek, face blank. âiâm more worried about gojo than iâm worried about you.â
âreally?â you tilted your head. âhow come gumi?â
âbecause heâs insane.â he responded bluntly, and your mouth flew open as he let his hand fall and settle over your thigh.Â
âwhatâ heâs your dadâ what do you meanââ
he shrugged a little, but you could tell he was apprehensive.
âhe can be a bit much sâall.âÂ
stuffing his keys into his pocket, megumi opened the door and stepped out, smoothly jogging over to the other side and opening yours as you gave him a cute smile in return, hopping out.
walking up the steps of gojoâs driveway felt like you were stepping into the gates of mount fucking olympusâ his house ginormous and elegant with the biggest lawn you had ever seen, intricate gold arrangements running across his front double doors as you approached, all that had you completely in awe and astonished and thankful over the place that megumi grew up inâ knowing that without this upbringing he wouldnât be doing what he was giftedly doing now on baseball fields across the country.
he reached and pushed the doorbell, a grandeous chime ringing through the air as you nervously bounced on your feet holding the little treats you brought for his dad, megumi looking at you from the side and giving you a little reassuring squeeze through your interlocked fingers, easing your jitters a bit.
the doors swung open thenâ dramatically and flashy as a tall fluffy white haired man stood in the middle with his arms out, his striking blue eyes and significant smile making you freeze in place.
he was respectfully kind of handsome⊠anybody with eyes could probably see that. and you wanted nothing more at that moment than for him to think highly of you and like you just as much as you already did himâ for anyone who took megumi under his wing and raised a man that was as gentle and kind as he was, was worth knowing.
âmeguuumiiii!â
âoh godââ
gojo threw his long arms around his shoulders and mushed a cheek up against megumiâs head, rubbing it endearingly from side to side as he gushed and cooed.
âaw my son my son my son! itâs been too long so longââ
âi saw you last week.â megumi grumbled as he tried to push him off, gojoâs grip only tightening in response.
he gasped. ânonsense! i hardly remember.â
and you giggled, gojoâs eyes snapping to yours then and widening as he practically shoved megumi off and stretched his arms out for you.
âand you!â he pulled you in and squished you up against his chest. âyouâre the one who melted megumiâs cold dark treacherous mean heart you sweet tiny thingââ
âgojo let her go.â
ââsuch grace such talent how did you get him to start being nice?! i saw it on the mlb networkââ
âsatoru.â
âi canât even get him to tell me that he loves me heâs an ungrateful little bratââ
megumi quickly stepped around and snaked his arms around your waistâ pulling and yanking as gently as he possibly could but finding it difficult seeing as his dad was being fucking mental towards you, the both of them bickering and literally wrestling as you tugged and swayed limply in between.
âoff. now.â
âmegumi release her youâre throwing around your wifeââ
âyouâre squishing her getâ off!â
a little oven ping made gojo stand upright, an eager excited expression on his face as he quickly let you go, took the treats you brought with a thank you, and started skipping inside the houseâ megumi catching you as you stumbled back a little with gojoâs voice gradually fading from your ears.
âyou guys come in come in! i wanna show you something i just bought its international meaning not from hereââ
megumi groaned and slumped his forehead to rest on your shoulder, your back to him as he held your waist a bit tighter⊠and you really couldnât help but giggle a little at their theatrics, craning your head in attempts at getting his attention.
âwhatâs wrong?â you asked softly, trying to wiggle your body around to face him but his grip stubbornly preventing you from doing so.
ânothing.â
âare you lying?â
âyeah.â
you laughed. âtell me babyâŠâ
ââŠheâs gonna scare you away.â he mumbled.
âscare me away?â you huffed out a shocked laugh. âgumiâ with every passing day that weâre together i feel like iâm gonna scare you away.â
he snorted and shook his head at your stupid statement, finally lifting himself up as you took advantage of the opportunity and turned around, giving him a comforting smile.
âi like him!â you beamed. âheâs funny, and he gave me a hug! thatâs a good sign is it not? he doesnât hate my guts yet right?â
megumi gave you a look. âhe wonât ever.â
âwe donât know thatâŠâ you muttered, letting megumi interlace your fingers and pull you inside the house. âi havenât started talking his ear off about the atrocious sandwich i had this morningââ
you looked at him. âyou know the one i let you try back at theââ
ââohh thatâs right.â he tilted his head in thought. âit was pretty bad though it was dry..â
âright?! they didnât even put mayo in it and i love mayo or something at least moreââ you froze. âfuck! baby see?!â
megumi chuckled and caressed the back of your hand with his thumb. âsee what?â
âsee what.â you muttered with pursed lips, eyes to the floor. âyou indulge my yapping gumi and thatâs bad.â
âbecause i like it.â
âdo you also like it when i get on top andââ
âoh my godââ
âtaadaa!â
gojoâs arms were stretched out in the spacious enormous living room that was probably bigger than your own freaking house combinedâ long grey lounge sofas along the center over marble flooring and a modernized coal fireplace behind him, all adorned with a glittery gold chandelier shining beautifully from the ceiling like a stunning halo.
âmy new installment.â he smiled cheesily. âmy pride and joy.â
âyou bought⊠a chandelier.â megumi mumbled.
âmhm! sure did!â
âwhy.â
âto keep me company.â
âto keepââ
âmegumi if you donât want me to be happy you can just admit that this is a safe spaceââ
you quickly slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress your laugh, gojo giving you a little grin before turning his attention back to a grumbling megumi.
âevery time i come here youâve spent money on dumb shit.â
you gasped. âgumi!ââ
âoh itâs okay sweetheart donât worry.â he crossed his arms. âiâm used to his abuse.â
âdonât tell her that.â he looked to you. âheâs being dramatic okayââ
âam not!â gojo pointed a finger. âheâs lying! come âere y/n let me explainââ
âno.â
megumi tightened his hand around your interlocked fingers, mumbling. âcan we just get on with dinner please.â
and his dad perked up with a big smile. âoh thatâs right!â
gojo happily paved the way through the house, rambling about the various layers of his chandelier and how each crystal was imported from the âlabyrinths of italyâ (as he put it), you trying your absolute best to listen and respond politely, but having a hard time seeing as you felt like a dark black misty fog was swirling around megumi that shot a chill up your spine, his head down to the floor as you eyed him worriedly.
you stoop up on your tippy toes and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, his gaze flickering to yours then and he weakly flashed you a wary tiny smile.
âsâokay gumi!â you whispered cutely, reaching and running your fingers lovingly through his hair with your unoccupied hand. âeverything is going great, donât stress.â
âare you okay?â he murmured, and you nodded rapidly, dropping your arm.
âof course i am!â you spoke gently. âiâm worried about you though.â
âmâfine.â he shook his head, squeezing your hand. âiâm fine if youâre fine.â
unbeknownst to you, gojo didnât miss the little chatter that was going on behind him with your endearing words, and he smiled softly to himselfâ your interaction and the way you spoke to each other slightly lifting a brooding weight from his chest that had been there since megumi was a teen.
upon arriving at the dining room, both you and megumiâs eyes widened as they looked over the mass amounts of various dinner foods lined neatly across the center, all of which strongly resembled a stereotypical thanksgiving feast as the platters glistened and shined with various juices and cooking oils.
âyou made this much food knowing it was just us three?â megumi mumbled.
gojo quickly nodded his head. âuh huh!â
âand did you actually make it?â
âuh huh!â
megumi gave him an annoyed look. âdid you?â
ânuh uh!â
megumiâs shoulders slumped and he covered his eyes in disappointment, lips pulled into a thin line as you giggled to yourself.
âi still think it looks great!â you replied sweetly. âdo you need help setting up the table? i can go grabââ
âoh no! god no you sit.â he grinned. âmegumi can do it.â
âbut iââ
megumi scooched a chair out and gently pulled you to sit, pushing it in as you did before wordlessly disappearing behind a wall into the kitchen to do as he was told, a slow sneaky little grin spreading across gojoâs face as he watched.
quickly, he slammed his hands flat on the table and looked at you with big excited eyes as you stiffened, alarm crossing your face as you fidgeted and squirmed under his stare.
âwho said i love you first? who kissed who first? who confessed first? have you guys done the freaky freak yetââ
you choked on your spit as your cheeks blazed at his last question, trying to come up with a proper answer to all of them but only stammering nervously as he kept throwing questions at you.
âoh! wellâ well heâ and iââ
âwho initiated the freaky freakââ
âgojo.â
your heads snapped to a disgusted megumi with pinched brows, his hands occupied with dark blue porcelain stacked plates, silverware, and napkins.
âwhat the hell are you asking herââ
âwhat?! you wonât tell me and she was just about to! havenât i raised you to wait until a conversation between two people is finished before butting in-â
âlooked more like harassment.â he mumbled as he placed the shiny plates and silverware down in front of each of you, you laughing cutely at his comment and megumi shooting you a small smile.
gojo gasped.Â
âhow dare you?! i would never do such a thing to your precious little girlfriend!â his eyes snapped to yours, a pleading puppy dog look on his face. âyou know that right?â
you giggled and nodded quickly, waving him off reassuringly. âitâs okay! really i donât mind anything at all.â
âsee!â gojo spat. âshe accepts me.â
âyouâre lucky she does.â megumi countered, coming around and sitting down on the chair next to you, scooting up before placing a soft hand over your thigh under the table.
megumi was suffering on the inside over gojoâs behavior and completely fucking embarrassed that you had to see him act this way, though he honestly should have expected itâ him unknowingly growing pretty immune to his sporadic antics since he had been around gojo for the majority of his life.Â
and that was a mistake, because having you here was like someone dunked his entire body with a bucket of chilling ice cold water to wake him the fuck up and make him see that gojo was, in factâ still insane.
but you seemed to be just fine⊠chatting back and forth with gojo about various topics as you both bounced off of several different things without even finishing the prior subject, megumi easing now that it looked like you werenât worried sick over his dad loving you or not, him already knowing from the start he was going to.
and the food was inexplicably delicious as you ate, gojo revealing to you that he had personal private chefs come in to prepare the bundle of dishes for the both of you to eat for tonightâs dinnerâ him expressing that if he had cooked himself, his newly bought chandelier wouldâve somehow came crashing down and he wouldâve for some reason died along with it.
âand what do you do?â gojo beamed. âdo you work?â
âi go to school!â you responded politely. âitâs about fifteen minutes from his stadium actually.â
he gasped. âmegumi! you snatched an educated woman! has he taken the time to visit you on campus?â
âoh yes of course!â you nodded. âhe picks me up for my morning lectures and takes me everyday, and then i go to his practices and games after my classes.â
âoh my god.â he slapped his hands over his eyes and hunched over. âa healthy beautiful balanced relationship oh what a blessing what a gift what a-â
gojo stopped, his head snapping back up and looking at you both from across the table.
âhave you guys gone on a trip together yet?â
you both shook your heads confusedly.
âhaahh?!â he shot megumi a glare. âwhy havenât you taken her out on a vacation yet? is this how you show y/n your appreciation for her? with all of your mlb money? thisâ this canât beââ
ânâno!â you stammered, placing a hand on megumiâs shoulder. âitâs okay! he does too much for me way too much i always feel appreciated that isnât necessaryââ
ââwhat her and i do is none of your businessââ
âyes it is!â he cut megumi off. âthe woman is a beauty do you really think nobody else wants her?! take her to a damn nba game see what happensââ
âdo you think iâm not awareââ
âi got it!â
gojo shot up with his index finger pointing up dramatically, wiggling it with a shining smile.
âletâs all go on a trip and take a gander at nature!â
âhuh?â megumiâs eyes narrowed. âa tripâ natureââ
âyup!â he nodded. âi went to a place back in my youth in the middle of the woods that had the clearest, bluest, waterfall lake thing i had ever swam in. its perfect! us three can be one with the tidesââ
âno.â
ââŠgumi we should.â you spoke sweetly and quietly, nudging his shoulder a little. âhe wants to spend time with us⊠with you especially.â
he looked at you then with a strained expressionâ the idea of going on a trip with an erratic gojo sounding like something straight out of the pits of hellâŠÂ but you wanted to.Â
and megumi could never say no to you.
âjust us three?â he mumbled, eyes drifting back his dad.
âi have an even better ideaââ
gojo sped away from the dining table and over to the large marble counter top island that sat in the middle of the kitchen, him pulling out his laptop from a random drawer and opening it up. âyuji and his girlfriend should come too! itâll be like a best friendâs trip! they can come over right now eat dinner all of you sleepover and then we leave tomorrow morningââ
you gasped excitedly, megumi eyeing your beaming hopeful smile at the mention of your best friend and yuji potentially coming, his heart and face softening at the way your pleading doe eyes looked at him.
âcan we gumi?â you asked hopefully as gojo continued to babble on and click away on his laptop. âitâitâs okay if you donât, really. i donât ever want to do something you donât want to do.â
âyou wanna go?â he murmured, reaching up to pat over and caress the top of your head.
you looked at him shyly, gnawing at your bottom lip. âyeah⊠it sounds really fun and i love the idea of going somewhere with you like that⊠andâ and my best friend would be there too with yuji! if they decide to comeâŠâ
megumi hummed, his hand coming down to poke your pink cheek with his index finger softly before leaning and pressing a kiss to your lips.
âsâokay.â he nodded. âwe can go.â
âreally?!â you gushed. âare you sure?â
âof course pretty baby.â
you squealed and cupped his face, bringing him down as you peppered kisses all over his mushed up cheeks as he laughed.
âthank you thank you thank youââ
ââbook for two nights leave in the morning possibly italy nextâ okay done!â
gojo proudly stood back with his hands on his hips, smiling at his laptop before his eyes came back up to the both of you, you releasing megumiâs face.
âalready?â you gushed.
âuh huh!â he skipped over to the table. âwe leave tomorrow morning together, drive up the mountains, we get to the air bnb that night, sleep, wake up the next morning and hike up through the national park until we get to the waterfall, swim, go back to the air bnb when weâre done, and then we leave the following morning!â
you and gojo stood and cheered happily while jumping up and down, megumi calmly sitting back and huffing out a breath through his nose.
âdo you even know if yuji and her best friend can go?â he spoke. âhave you asked?â
you both stopped.
âno but iâll ask right now!ââ gojo dashed out of the dining room and down the hall, his fast footsteps echoing through the house as megumi rolled his eyes.
they said yes.
ây/nnnn!â
the minute your girl friend and yuji stepped through the front doors, you ran with open arms as you threw yourself on them and jumped up and down excitedly, megumi watching with amused eyes as the three of you chanted and bounced like little kids.
âtrip! trip! trip! trip!â
âoh heeeyyy! good to see you both again.â gojo greeted, yuji and your girl friend immediately throwing themselves on him and jumping up and down again.
âthank you for this all inclusive trip you rich rich man!ââ your best friend cried as yuji butt in.Â
ââyes! thank you satoru youâre a gift youâre a saintââ
âyouâre the hottest dilf i know!ââ
âoh nonsense!â gojo waved them off cheekily, putting on a show of faux nonchalance. âiâm just coming for parental supervision you guys have earned this.â
you all spent the rest of the night together playing board games in the living room and watching movies in gojoâs home movie theatre, you and your best friend laughing from time to time at megumiâs constant bickering with his dad and yujiâs lovesick devotion to gojoâ all of which thatâs been there since megumi and yuji were in high school.
and you were having the best time youâve ever had in your fucking life as you snuggled up with megumi on his lap while watching movies, surrounded by the people you loved most in the entire world while you all laughed and ate and basically did whatever the fuck you all wantedâ your tummyâs hurting from scarfing down packs of gummy worms and leftover food from dinner.
âoh! oh! letâs watch human earthworm four now!â yuji jumped, pointing at the big screen.
âaw no! that oneâs gross babe!â your girlfriend whined. âyouâve made me watch it like a million times alreadyyy.â
âbut megumi and y/n havenât seen it!â
âyes i have.â megumi cut in.
ây/n hasnât seen it!â
âno! iâm trying to save her eyes from that wretched movieââ she craned her neck to look at you from her seat. âitâs good but itâs bad y/n.. i couldnât sleep for three days straight after.â
you giggled and sleepily fixed the fluffy throw blanket that was over you and megumi, him finishing the job off for you and readjusting himself so you could get more comfortable on his lap, you enveloped entirely in his warm arms while gojo snored away somewhere in his seat.
âmâokay with anything!â you spoke, your boyfriend picking up on the tiny sleepy slur in your voice.
âokay so human earthworm fourââ
ââno! please! i thought you loved me!ââ
âi do! but human earthworm four!ââ
âwe should go to sleep baby.â megumi murmured in your ear as they went back and forth, and you shook your head.
ânuh uh.â
âcâmon.â
megumi started shifting, and you quickly tightened your arms around his neck and pulled him back.
âno iâm awake iâm awake.â you mumbled. âi wanna stay.â
âitâs already late though...â he gently reasoned. âi can feel you falling asleep.â
he smiled softly when you shook your little head again with fluttering sleepy lashes, him pressing a soft baby kiss to your nose before tugging an arm underneath your legs and the other over your back before standing, pulling you up and carrying you.
âweâre gonna go sleep.â megumi announced to the other two, and their heads turned.
âaw yuji look! heâs carrying her like a little brideââ
âaw niceee megumiii!ââ
âgod.â he muttered, readjusting his grip a little before turning and leaving the theatre, you already fast asleep as he carried you down various dark hallways before reaching the main grand staircase area, the beaming moonlight seeping through the giant windows as they illuminated the same familiar path he used to walk many times before since the age of six, but having an entirely different outlook on it now that you were there on the same path with him.
gojo had his personal assistant drive you and megumi sometime in the night beforehand to get your suitcases for the trip and pack your things, megumi now finding them neatly in the corner of his childhood bedroom as he entered, pleased to see that it was nearly left untouched since the day he moved out.
you stirred in his arms, your mind almost sensing that you were in his room as your eyes opened and slowly scanned their surroundings, a little gasp escaping your lips.
âis this your room gumi?â you spoke softly.
âmhm.â
âoh!â you wiggled and he gently set you down, you pulling the blanket over your shoulders as you looked around.
his room was huge, or at least bigger than the normal average room would normally be, and it was soâŠÂ him. black bed sheets and black furniture, gray carpeting with a big gray desk chair neatly tucked in, a tall bookcase that held a combination of various philosophical books and manga all shuffled together, and a big bulletin board nailed to a wall that had push pinned photos scattered about.
you perked up, curious as you walked over to the board to get a closer look at each photograph, smiling when you spotted many of megumi and yuji playing for their baseball team in high school, pictures of the field or a glove holding a ball, and several others of megumi serious in his uniform next to a big grinned gojo.Â
âgojo made it and hung it on the wall.â he spoke softly. âsaid my room lacked feeling or something like that.â
âi love itâŠâ you murmured. âyou look so cute in these gumi.â
you leaned and looked closer at one of the photosâ it entailing megumi who looked to be maybe seven or eight, and a very young looking gojo with an arm swung over his little shoulders, the both of them throwing a peace sign.
you lifted your hand and gently ran your index finger over the glossy photograph, your eyes softening.
âis this when he took you in?â
megumi walked up and bent down a bit to get a better look.
âyeah. it had only been a year or two i think.â
you nodded in understanding, and as your hand fell to rest on your side, your gaze caught another photoâ
a photo of you.
one that megumi took on one of your night outs except you were completely unaware to the fact that he did until this very momentâ your eyes trained to the mirror visor in his car while applying lip gloss in the photo, you wearing his black leather jacket with a denim skirt on.
pointing, you looked behind you at megumi.
âitâs me.â
he nodded.
âdid gojo pin this here?â
âno.â he shook his head. âi did.â
your eyes widened as your head turned back to the photo, your cheeks burning up.Â
âi pinned it there when i came to visit him after we hung out that day.â he murmured. âsâmy favorite.â
you swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest.
âhow come itâs your favorite?â
his eyes stayed glued to the picture.
âbecause you look beautiful.â he answered. âand because youâre in my car. in my jacket. and with me.â
you felt your smile grow as you looked up at him, your entire body fuzzing and tingling over as he looked back down at you, both of your cheeks a vibrant pink under the dark moonlight.
âi love you.â he spoke softly.
your eyes softened, arms coming up to wrap around his neck and pull his forehead to yours as he reciprocated and held you, an emotional lump building in your throat at his genuine beautiful wordsâ words that may be short and simple to others, but everything to you because it was megumi.
âi love you too, gumi.â you gently pecked his lips. âso much.â
and he smiled.
a full closed lipped one as he tightened his grip around your waist and lifted you up off the floor, carrying you over to his bed and delicately laying you down as he kissed you again and again, his cold hands slipping underneath your shirt to rest tenderly on the bare skin of your torso.
megumi pulled back to look at you, his eyes unexpectedly widening at the sight of you spread out underneath him like you were, with your gorgeous hair sprawled out and your pinky cheeked face looking up at him timidly while on his childhood bed, a sight he oddly didnât expect himself to get hard as a fucking rock over.
âwhat baby?â you whispered.
he shook his head and pecked your lips before helping you sit up, walking over to his suitcase after and unzipping it open to reveal his tidy folded up clothing, him rummaging through it for a little before pulling out what you recognized to be one of his big gray sleep shirts.
âyou wanna wear this to bed?â he asked you, holding it up.
you nodded happily, holding your hands up for him to throw and catching it once he did, you immediately stripping down with no fucks given to nothing but your black panties as you slipped the shirt on over your head and untucked your hair from underneath, loving that it smelled like him.
you both proceeded to do your little night routines that you did whenever you slept over at his place, and after you washed your face, brushed your teeth and applied a little moisturizer in his personal bathroom, you flicked off the light and jumped into bed with a waiting megumi, his arms immediately coming around over your waist and pulling your back to his bare chest as you both got comfortable.
but after a few minutes of silenceâ
megumi was still fucking hard.
and he was actually way worse than before, since now you were in his shirt and the only thing you had underneath was a pair of panties with no bra on, your juicy tits just inches from his grubby hands as they itched and burned to grope them in the rudest way possible.
and he wondered what it would be like to fuck you dumb on his childhood bed.
but he couldnât. you were previously tired and sleepy and he wanted to respect that, concluding now that you were probably already drifting off as your breathing evened out over the soft murmur of the wind outside, your face heavenly against the moonlight through his gigantic window next to his bed.Â
amidst the whirling of his horny perverted brain as he tried to calm his thoughts and let you sleep, he was already unknowingly grinding his hard dick against the fat of your ass, his shirt on you riding up as he did until he was fully rutting against your bare yummy cheek.
he tightened his grip around you and buried his nose into your hair, inhaling and squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to will himself to fucking stop and just let you sleep, but cursing under his breath when he felt you shift and lift your head a little.
âgumi?â you mumbled sleepily. âwhat are you doing..?â
ânothing.â he spoke into your hair. âgo to sleep pretty baby.â
you sighed deeply and closed your eyes again, but it only took megumi an entire sixty seconds before he started grinding his dick on your ass again.
and you were wide awake at this point, the ache in between your legs severe as he mindlessly panted and grunted softly against your earâ delicious hot fucking noises that riled you up and had you grinding your ass back into him, feeling his pajama clad big solid dick against your skin.
he breathed in a sharp breath through his nose when he felt you do it, burying his face even further into your soft hair as he rutted on you harder this time, more forceful as he groaned and shoved a hand down your panties.
you gasped and looked down, his skilled fingers already working you so good and spreading your juices all over your clit and folds as your hips bucked up against his digits, his hips still grinding desperately on your ass as he pressed sloppy wet kisses over the side of your cheek.
âg-gumiââ you whined.
âhm?â
he slipped and pumped a finger inside you and you whimpered.
âwe canâtâ we canât go past this okay i donât want your dad or anyone else to hear us.â
âwe canât?â
megumi slipped his hands out of your panties as you turned around to look at him, your eyes widening at the way he stuck his tongue out and pressed his arousal covered middle and ring finger flat on it, licking and sucking on it lewdly with an open mouth as he looked at you with half lidded eyes.
ânâno.â you gulped, your pussy feeling pathetically empty as it craved and meowed for megumiâs cock even though you just told him a lying no, wanting nothing more than for him to throw you around and make you cry but horrified over the thought of everybody else in the house hearing.
âno?â
he shifted on top of you and in between your legs, your breath hitching as you watched him grab the hem of your shirt and slowly pull up until he hit the lower fat of your tits just below your nipples, his bottom lip pulled into his teeth as he tugged the rest of it up and groaned over the way your tits spilled out of his shirt, megumi already starting to grind his cock against your pussy again.
âholy fuck.â he mumbled, dazed eyes trained to the way your boobs bounced with every hump he made, his mouth and hands quickly coming down to squish your tits and drag his tongue over your perked up nipples, wasting no time at all in slobbering and sucking all over them as you moaned and whimpered at the feeling of his wet hot tongue all over your tits, your fingers gripping the bedsheets beneath you.
he released your nipple with a pop and leaned back, his fingers hooking underneath the straps of your panties and pulling them down before he tossed them somewhere in his roomâ followed by his pajamas and boxers.
âbut i miss you baby..â he mumbled, rubbing the length of his cock between your wet warm folds. âmiss you and the way your pussy sucks up my dickâŠâ
you whined, your hips jerking with each rub that his tip made against your clit as it slipped up and down, your shaky fingers suddenly encircling around his cock and pumping it for him, megumi moaning as you did and your lashes fluttering at the sounds of his pre cum covered dick squelching against each yank of your wrist.
âiâll go slow hm?âŠâ he fucked himself into your hand, breathless. âand weâll just⊠weâll just be quietâŠâ
you bit your bottom lip, squeaking at the way his tip would nudge up against your little hole as he moved.Â
âsâslow okay?â you whispered and guided his cock down to your entrance, megumi immediately lining himself up and pushing his big dick in slowly as you squirmed underneath him. âgoâ go slow i donât want them to hearââ
âiâll go slow pretty baby donât worry.â he murmured, caressing his thumbs over your tummy as he pumped himself inside little by little, his body shivering in delight over the way you screwed your eyes shut and twitched as you tried to take all of him, licking your lips once he was fully in as he gently started pumping his dick in your puffy cunt.
but megumi was a fucking liar.
because it only took a total of five minutes for megumi to start pounding into your little pussy like a rabid beast, his hands clutching the beds headboard in front of him as his mattress squeaked and hit against the wall violently, you choking and gasping at every drilling slam of his hips.
âhah!â gumi!â you hiccuped. âsâslow downnn pleeaasee theyâre gonna wake up!ââ
âwho fucking cares.â he grunted, one of his hands letting go of the headboard and grabbing a fistful of your tits as his eyes screwed shut in pure nasty ecstasy, your tight tight pussy drinking and slurping him up as he slammed against you, your body bouncing with every thrust.
âbutâbut you saaiidd!ââ
you squealed as he fucked you harder and leaned down to bite your red hot cheek.
âhow about you take what i give you yeah?â
you moaned pornographically loud, the way he was being extra mean doing a number on you as he nastily licked a long soothing stripe over where he bit you on your cheek, his lips coming down to hover directly over your ear as he placed a hand over your mouth, muffling your whines.
âshhhââ pant! âbaby not so loudââ
âmmm!â
you breathed heavily through your nose as he rammed you, him hating the way he couldnât openly hear your sweet moans anymore as he opted to moving his hand away and turning your face with his fingers, lips to his ear.
âjust moan in my earââ he choked. âmoan please.â
âgoddddd gumi you always fuck me so goodââ
âyeah?â pat pat patâ âyou like it when i fuck you like this pretty baby?â
hic! âuh huh!â
âshitââ he shoved his face into the side of your hair and hovered his lips over your ear. âand only me right? not gonna let any other low life fucking loser in your life anywhere near you when you have me right?â
ânânever!â you hiccuped. âonly you i donât ever want anyâ hah!â anyone else againââ
you practically screamed as you unexpectedly came all over his dick, your gushy walls spazzing around it as your pussy squelched out warm liquid, your squirt covering megumiâs lower tummy and sheets.
âattaaa girllll.â he groaned, quickly coming up and letting go of the headboard as he gripped your bruised waist with his hands, him throwing his head back and heaving as he fucked you sensitive on his cock with his balls begging for release that megumi was more than happy to giveâ you gasping at the way he quickly slipped his dick out from inside you and jerked himself off violently for literally a second before he came all over your tummy and pussy with a loud moan, coating all of you in his gooey release.
âfuuucckk.â he breathed out, his body shaking as he slowly pumped and milked out the last few drops of his cum with a strong grip on your thigh, you completely and utterly fucked out and dazed at the way he used you just the way you liked it, him slowly running his softening dick over your cum covered pussy and in between your folds as you twitched at the sensitivityâ spreading it around as you both tried to catch your breaths.
âyou okay?â his hands came up and gently brushed some of your hair away from your face, you nodding ditzy and red cheeked as he tucked a few strands behind your ears and kissed your forehead lovingly.
âstay here.â he murmured as he moved and got off the bed, your eyes closing but opening again after a minute once you felt him in between your thighs with his fucking phone out pointing at you.
âgumiii!â you whined and laughed. âwhy are you taking a picture?â
he shrugged, but peered up at you with a little knowing smile on his face. âto pin on the board.â
your eyes blew open in terror as you watched the flash go off and him place his phone back on his nightstand after, you frantically shaking your head.
âyou canât! baby your dad is gonna see it you canât!ââ
he cutely laughed as he got up again and went inside his bathroom, coming back in with a little hand towel before opening your legs gently and cleaning you up, tossing it across the room in his hamper then before laying down next to you and pulling your body to his, the both of you entangling with each other as megumi pulled the covers over.
âiâll keep it in my wallet then.â
âno! gumi!ââ
the following morning, all of you got up bright and early to shower, get ready, and finalize your packing as you hauled various suitcases down the grand staircase (yuji literally throwing his down and crying when it popped open halfway with his clothes spilling out) and all eventually climbed inside a big fat luxury shiny van that gojo personally rented for the trip.
âwow satoru!â your best friend gushed. âeven the seats are so lush! and they have screens with movies look yuji look!â
âoh my god i see human earthworm fourââ
âno!â
gojo smiled big through the rear view mirror at you all as he made various erratic dangerous turns and lane changes while out on the road, megumi gripping you and his seat for dear life whenever he sharply swerved and cut somebody off with their horn blaring.
âgojo you are going to kill usââ
âoh hush megumi! i was about to miss the exit i had to do what daddy had to doââ
âdonât ever call yourself that ever againââ
âdaddy gojo! daddy gojo! daddy gojo!â
your best friend and yuji bounced around and chanted from the back in their seats, megumi groaning and stuffing his face into your neck as you laughed and ruffled up his soft black hair, giving him a comforting kiss to the top of his head.
the four hour drive there was filled with a mix of yuji and gojo yelling and excited about every single wildlife animal they saw run in front of the van, you and your best friend chattering about all the pictures you were gonna take and how they had to be candid or else you were both drowning yourselves in the lake, and megumi still bickering with his dad about his driving and his lack of awareness for the road.
âoh! gumi gumi!â you shoved your hand inside your bag of gummy worms and pulled one out. âletâs do the thing! the lady and the tramp thing itâll be cuteee!â
âthe what?â he watched you as you plopped one end of the gummy worm in your mouth and puckered up the other side, ushering him to take it as he huffed an amused breath through his nose and leaned forward, biting the other end before you both moved closer along the sugary worm until your lips connected together.
a click of a camera made you both quickly spring apart, a mischevious looking yuji and your best friend with their phones out snickering from above the backrest of your seat.
âup to nasty activities again we see?â yuji wiggled his eyebrows.
âagain?!â you gawked. âwhatâ what do you meanâ whenââ
âmegguuumiiiâŠâ your best friend dragged. âi knew you were freaky but i didnât know you were this freakyâŠâ
he froze, eyes wide.
âi have no idea what youâre talking about!â you quickly sputtered. âabsolutely no ideaâ nuh uh gumi do you know?â
ânope.â
âyeah me neitherââ
âyou sure?â your girl friend quirked a brow. âpretty sure it sounded something like âgod gumi you always fuck me so goodâââ
yuji cut in. âââonly me right? not gonna let any other loser anywhereâââ
you both jumped over the backrests and lunged at the both of them, all of you screaming and yelling as you quickly covered over your best friends mouth and megumi wrestled with yuji to get the two of them to shut the fuck up, gojo craning and leaning over to get a look from the drivers seat at what was going on.
âif you love me youâll stop!â you screamed. âand youâll let me brainwash you and condition you into forgetting everything you heard last nightââ
âbut itâs funny!ââ
âchildren! youâre shaking the van whatâs going on back there?â gojo called from the front.
âitâs shaking because youâre going ninety miles per hour and swerving.â megumi spat over his shoulder as he had yuji in an arm lock.Â
âplease! spare me!â yuji gasped. âwe play baseball together man! we won the world series like seven months ago please let me bask in the glory a little while longerââ
megumi rolled his eyes and let him go, silently walking over and wrapping his arms around your waist before pulling you off of your best friend as you kicked and yelled, your girl friend cackling and pointing at you as your boyfriend dragged you back to your previous seats.
you huffed and crossed your arms as he set you down, megumi biting hard on his tongue to refrain himself from laughing.
âiâm putting you on a sex ban.â you muttered.
he let a laugh slip out as he leaned over to look at your face, you looking to the side defiantly.
âa sex ban?â he repeated. âfor what?â
âfor being bad.â
he reached over and pinched your cheek softly. âand what did i do?â
âyou bewitched me last night with your big dick and handsome face and told me we would be quiet and slow and you lied to me.â
megumi snickered as he pulled you over to his chest by your shoulders in a hug, squishing his cheek up against yours.
âmâsorry.â he mumbled. âiâll make it up to you.â
you grunted in response and he chuckled.
âiâll let you steal the greece magnet from the cafe.â
you shot up like a light with wide eyes and the biggest smile he had ever seen over something so simple as a magnetâ and his heart softened.
âreally? really?! you mean it?!â
he looked at you with a tiny smile and nodded.
âsuddenly the sex banâs been lifted there was never such a thing i donât even remember when i said that i donât know what youâre talking aboutââ
at some point during the trip you all knocked out dead asleep for a couple of hours, gojo chugging literally five energy drinks in one sitting to keep himself awake (even though you all offered to drive, him refusing) until you finally arrived at the cabin air bnb in the middle of the nightâ gojo taking advantage and snapping pictures of all of your sleeping faces and cooing before gently waking you up.
gojo truly went over the top and rented the biggest fucking cabin any of you had ever seen, a gorgeous one that sat on top of a hill and overlooked the stunning views of the national park and over other dimly lit cabins below, the subject of light pollution completely nonexistent as the constellations twinkled with pride.
the men carried in the suitcases while you and your best friend frantically tried to capture the stars through your the cameras on your phones, whining when it just didnât look the same as in person and you slapping a hand over your forehead once you realized you forgot your digital camera at home like always.
âwhat do we think my kids?!â gojo exclaimed with his arms out as he spun around in the main living room. âexquisite? tranquil? yummy?â
âyummy!â you all exclaimed and jumped on gojo once you came in the house, megumi staring with his arms crossed as the three of you squeezed and rubbed your cheeks over his dad comically.
âand what is satoru gojo for? hmmm? to live lavish!â
âor almost run us off the cliff.â megumi muttered, grabbing yours and his suitcase before walking up the stairs to claim a room.
the rest of you eventually went up to your respective rooms, exhausted from being in the van for freaking four hours and needing to rest up for the hike tomorrow morning, eager to see and swim in the big glorious lake gojo couldnât stop talking about since the moment he booked the trip.
ânow donât be shy tonight y/n!â your best friend called from down the hall just as you were about to go inside your room to join megumi. âif you guys want to get freaky again donât mind us! especially you megumi!â
you quickly ran inside your room and grabbed a pillow, poking your head out and chucking it at her and laughing when you actually managed to land it on her face, her running down the hall to throw it back but you slamming the door and locking it in her face just in time.
âwhat is happening.â megumi mumbled, stirring around in the bed to face you, his sleepy eyes drooping.
ânothing baby.â you smiled softly, the wood creaking beneath your feet as you walked over to his outstretched arm and climbed into bed with him, the both of you snuggling up under the covers and sharing sweet sleepy kisses with your body heats combating the cold roomâ a sliver of moonlight peeking through the wide windows on the other end as you the two of you fell fast asleep with no sign of struggle.
the next morning, you all changed into your hiking attire and packed your bathing suits, gojo bouncing off the walls and excited that he was finally going to revisit the place heâd been wanting to go to since the last time he wentâ the rest of you eagerly gushing and giddy over the thought of the grand waterfall and lake and big rocks that yuji wanted to cannonball off of.
gojo informed you all that the hike should only take about thirty minutes with no setbacks, and once you were outside and following the set trail along the parameters of the national park, it had only been about fifteen minutes in until someone started complaining (gojo).
the sun was blazing but nothing that wasnât unmanageableâ the cool breeze and shade from the giant sequoia trees making up for the slightly stinging heat as you walked hand in hand with megumi, tight interlaced fingers as you both enjoyed the quiet air and the soft occasional chirping of birds, jumping over various rocks and logs along your journey as you happily spoke to megumi about anything that came to your little mind, him contently listening and nodding and loving everything you had to say to him, always.
âoh! look gumi!â you whispered, pointing to a tiny deer from across the pond to your left. âitâs a baby!â
âwhere?â he crouched down to your level to try and match his line of sight with yours, the corners of his lips softly turning upwards once he spotted the deer sniffing a pile of grass and taking little nibbles out of it.
âsâcute.â he murmured. âwhereâs the mom though? baby deers usually arenât seperated from theirââ
âheeeelppp! heeelppp meeeee!â
you all jumped and spun around to be met with a hunched over gojo in a fit of tears, his body trembling as you saw what you now realized to be the mother of the baby deer, chewing mindlessly on the hem of gojoâs shirt.
âiâm dying! iâm dying! this is it!ââ
âcalm down.â megumi muttered, walking over to him and pulling you along halfway before separating his hand from yours and stepping closer.
âstop screaming and donât move. itâll probably move on if you stop freaking out.â
âmegumi do you study deers for a living?â yuji spoke up.
megumi gave him a deadpanned look.Â
âwe are in the mlb.â
âno i know!â he shrugged. âbut maybe on your downtime?â
âheâs freaky with y/n on his downtimeââ
âshuuushh!â you gasped and slapped a hand over your best friends mouth, your wide frantic eyes snapping to see if gojo heard but relief washing over you when you noticed he was still screaming and crying, oblivious.
âiâm sorry iâm sorry!â she muffled under your hand, laughing once you pulled away. âiâll stop iâm sorry babe. i love you.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and pulled her in for a hug, kissing her cheek with an exaggerated âmwahâ like youâve done ever since you both were in middle school, her reciprocating before you turned your attention back to a flailing gojo.
âgojo stop movingââ
âi canât megumi i canât! itâs gonna eat me up whole and alive and without mercyââ
âhow long ago was it that you came here?â you asked sweetly, walking up to stand next to megumi.
âuhâ i think i was maybe twenty⊠or twenty seven!.. or twenty threeâŠâ
âis it just like you remember?â you smiled. âi meanâ so far? the hike?â
âoh yeah even better!â he beamed. âthereâs actually a clear trail now for hikers.â
âyeah?â
âyeah! back then it was barely marked and rough everyone had to raw dog itââ
without him noticing, the deer slowly released his now soggy chewed up shirt and pranced away, no longer threatened by his jagged movements as gojo stopped them the minute you spoke to him.
ââbut i had a map and snacks and the park rangers on speed dial so i didnât really careââ
âgojo.â
megumi pointed and he stopped, his dad turning around to see the deer somewhere far off across the pond with its baby.
ây/n you saved me!â gojo jumped up and wrapped his arms around you, you giggling as he swung you around roughly before setting you back down with a grin on his face.Â
âthanks sweetheart.â
you gave him a cheeky thumbs up, and as the group continued along the trail, megumi reached over and gently ruffled your hair with a little smile of gratitude on his face, pressing a kiss to your forehead after.
âsatoru what were you even doing to the deer for it to do that?â
âi wanted to pet itââ
the rest of the trail was relatively easy, no more setbacks as you all basically kept gojo on a leash deeming his âwandering offâ rights revoked, the only annoying thing being the occasional bites from mosquitos and random bugs with you and your best friend running for your lives when the bigger ones buzzed past you, the end of your hike drawing near as the soft crashing waves of the waterfall were now in earshot.
âyou okay gumi?â you asked sweetly, pushing some of his spiky hair back from his forehead and wiping the sides of his slightly red face down a little with your hand towel, throwing it over your shoulder after and passing him your water flask. âdrink drink, you look a little red.â
âiâm fine.â he took the flask and kissed your head, chugging back some ice cold water as you walked. âjust hot.â
âfuck i know.â you huffed, taking the flask back once he was done and drinking a bit yourself before shoving it back into your backpack. âweâre almost there though! and the minute we get there we should jump off that big rock your dad mentioned! likeâ like you and me iâm not doing it by myself but if you do it with me then iâll be okay maybeââ
you paused and looked at him sheepishly. âcan you do it with me?â
he smiled softly and nodded, swinging an arm over your shoulder and caressing the skin of your upper arm. âi can baby.â
you cheered and skipped on excitedly, pulling megumi forward by the hand until you were caught up with the rest of the group.
as you talked on with yuji ahead about the next coming baseball events for their team, your best friend leaned closer to megumi with a hushed tone.
âhave you seen the bikini y/n brought?â she smirked. âehh?â
he looked at her blankly. ânot clearly.â
âi have.â she wiggled her eyebrows. âitâs a skimpy little number⊠i forced her to bring it. and itâs black your faveee.â
he huffed out a breath, appearing unbothered but his mind⊠curious.
âŠvery.
âthe bottoms are tied by the sidesâ easy accessâŠâ she wiggled her eyebrows. âand the top squishes her boobs up all nice and snug they look like pillowsââ
megumi stared straight down with burning pink cheeks and a tight jaw, shoving her away by the shoulder as she cackled.
âtry to keep your boner down once you see it megumi! i could barely even keep mine down sheeshââ
âi liked you better when you werenât talking.â
âand you should thank me by buying me a hot dog at your next game theyâre fucking expensive-â
âguys itâs here!â
gojo bounced up and down with his arms out, his back to you all as the four of you gasped at the size of the waterfall, incredibly fucking massive and beautiful as the crashing sounds of it meeting the lake below overpowered anything else, the water literally shimmering and gleaming and crystal clear blue against the summery sun as you all walked down, quickly claiming a spot and setting down your bags.
it was genuinely perfect, and you were so amazed that something like this existed without you even knowing about it until two days agoâ your eyes excitedly scanning your surroundings as you watched the people further up ahead splash and swim around and jump from the rocks.
as everybody else peeled off their hiking attire with their bathing suits underneath, megumi quietly eyed you from the side in his swim trunks as he folded up his clothes, shamefully waiting for you to reveal the skimpy bikini your best friend was blabbering on about.
ây/n hurryyyy!â your girl friend whined. âi wanna run in with you!â
âcoming coming!âÂ
you quickly grabbed the hem of your top and pulled it over your head, megumi sucking in a sharp breath and coughing at the way your tits jiggled out and the way your hips looked with the little tied bows on the side and the way your stunning hair fell over your shoulders and the way your thighsâ
âoh! whatâs wrong megumi?â your best friend gasped dramatically. âdo you need some water? here, y/n your flask is over thereââ
you bent down to grab it, your ass completely in his view as he roughly covered his mouth with strained eyebrows, pinky cheeks, and a pathetically solid dick under his swim shorts as you walked over and sweetly handed him the flask.
âhere gumi!â you chirped, faltering over his stiff body and covered mouth, tilting your head. âwhatâs wrong? are you okay?â
your best friend snickered and pointed at him from behind you as he glared, his eyes softening once they landed back on yours.
âmâokay baby.âÂ
he took the the flask from you and sipped a little before screwing the cap back on and setting it down next to his bag, you nodding and turning to walk over to your best friend, but stopping when megumiâs hand caught yours.
âwait.â he tugged your hand a little, his voice gentle. âcome here.â
you listened and walked closer to him, your pretty doe eyes looking up at him curiously as he softly cupped your cheeks and leaned down, pressing his lips delicately to yours for a moment before pulling away.
âyou look cute.â he mumbled, cheeks pink. âi like your bathing suit.â
you gave him a huge smile, your face gleaming as you leaned up on your tippy toes and pecked his nose. âthank you gumi! i was nervous about it but i got your favorite color!â
you stepped back and rotated side to side as your tied bows shifted, wanting to innocently show him the bikini but only accidentally riling him up even furtherâ the thought of submerging his entire body in the lake now to hide his boner an appetizing thought to him.
ây/n! you coming?â your best friend called, and you quickly nodded and ran over to her, taking her extended hand in yours and interlocking your fingers tightly.
âokay ready?!â she gushed.
âready!â
âoneâŠâ the two of you counted.
âtwoâŠâ
âthreeee!â
you both squealed and sprinted down, the wind whipping through your hair as you jumped in the cool lake together and laughed at the way droplets of water splashed across your faces, the surface reaching up just past your knees once you were a good distance from your resting spot.
âguys come in!â you yelled. âit feels really nice!â
you looked at megumi and waved him over, him walking down before making his way through the lake as yuji and gojo raced in.
âonward my second son!â gojo called, yuji giving him a piggy back ride as they splashed through the water but comically tripping and dunking themselves in once they reached you.
âaw man! my foot slipped on a rockâŠâ yuji mumbled as he shook water from his hair, your best friend laughing and kissing his cheek.
âitâs okay bud, at least you carried satoru all the way here with no issue!â
gojo gasped. âwhat are you trying to say?â
she laughed and shook her head. âiâm joking! iâm jokingâ maybeââ
you skipped over through the water to catch up with an arriving megumi then, his arm coming to rest around your waist as you walked back up to the group together.
soon you all made it down to the deeper end by the waterfall and hung out, you jumping on megumiâs back at one point for a photo your best friend offered to takeâ your arms wrapped around his neck with your cheek mushed up against his as a small smile played at his lips, gojo grinning softly to himself at the sight knowing megumi never really smiled for pictures with anyone but you⊠something that wasnât very hard to tell as he stared.
megumi loved you. genuinely.Â
and he lived life so much differently now that he was with you.
yuji later dragged your best friend and megumi to the other side where he heard other people say fish were swimming in, eagerly wanting to catch one and take it home for himself as a souvenir and begging the other two for help, you and gojo laughing from a distance whenever they were close to grabbing one but screaming when they accidentally would let it go.
âyou having fun?â gojo asked you after a minute, and your nervous eyes snapped up to his striking blue ones.
âoh yes! so much!â you smiled kindly. âthank you for this satoru⊠seriously. you didnât have to do all of this but you did, and i canât thank you enough.â
he shook his head, a content expression on his face as he continued to look at the three ahead.
âno need! youâre all my kids. itâs what a dad does, isnât it? take you guys out?â
you giggled softly and nodded, but after a bit, gojo spoke up again.
âsometimesâŠâ he began. âi feel like i may lack what megumi needs.â
your eyebrows furrowed. âwhat do you mean?â
he looked on ahead.
âever since megumi was young, i always worried that he would be alone for the rest of his life and not learn to appreciate the things he already had.â
gojo pursed his lips. âheâs always been a quiet kid⊠didnât like to talk to anyone or listen to anyone and was justâ living. emptily living.â
emptily?
âhe didnât go out. he didnât do what a regular teen does at his age. he didnât believe anything had value to it and just lived. he never had anyone either until yuji⊠but even then the look on his face never changed, and i fear baseball only scraped the surface.â
âfor how long?â you murmured.
âfor as long as iâve known him.â he answered.
âi thinkââ he shook his head. âi know megumi thinks that he isnât worth anything. he thinks he deserves nothing and just blocks everybody and everything out⊠and i⊠i worry.â
you stayed quiet and listened.
âheâs different. heâs reserved and refuses to accept any forms of love because he thinks itâs wasteful when heâs the one thatâs receiving it⊠and i just want you to know that even though heâsâ heâs mean sometimes and says grumpy things he doesnât mean it. he really loves you and i donât want you to be scared offââ
âbut he isnât any of those things to me.â you spoke softly. âat all. iâve never once thought megumi to be any of those things.â
gojoâs gaze flickered to yours.
âiâve never met anyone as genuinely kind and selfless and loving as he is. i feel like people always get the wrong impression of him and it justâ pisses me off because he doesnât even do anything and yet theyâre quick to judge just because heâs different⊠and i hate that.â
you played a little with your fingers. âmegumi always silently does things for people when they donât deserve it, and they never notice it either so he doesnât even get something as simple as a thank you because theyâre too focused on how different he is.â
gojoâs eyes softened as he placed a friendly arm over your shoulder, shaking you a little.Â
âyou see what i see, then.â he spoke.
you smiled sadly, your eyes trained to megumi as you watched him sharply cup his hands underwater and catch a fish, throwing it inside yujiâs makeshift cup tank silently as yuji and your best friend proceeded to jump and cheer and peer inside to look at it.
âbut i love him because heâs different.â you express. âand i worry one day heâll get tired of me and tired of the things that i say and leave⊠but i would never blame him for that. i would never regret getting to love someone like him.â
gojo smiled down at you, and he felt relief again. relief in knowing that megumi was in good hands, in your good hands, and that he didnât need to worry so much about him anymore, that his years of begging and wishing on his knees for anyone and anything that would listen to him and help save his son, help him learn to love and cherish, to save him from a life of nothingâÂ
all of those years and he was finally heard.
âoh he would never.â he spoke softly. âbecause ever since he met you heâs been different. he smiles more. heâs calmer⊠more lenient. heâs awake.â
and heâs learned to love, most of all.
âheâs never told me thisâŠâ you trailed off sadly.
âi wouldnât either.â he responded. âmaybe itâs something he wants to forget.â
he huffed after a minute. âand also megumi never smiles when i take pictures with him but he smiles with youuu!â he whined. âno fair.â
you giggled then, grinning at him apologetically as you did.
and gojo felt so lucky that his son managed to land a soul as genuine and pure and sweet as yours was⊠that he managed to land someone who loved him for the same reason many others didnât.
âyou donât lack what he needs satoru...â you murmured. âyouâve always had it exactly. without you, he wouldnât be living the life he has now surrounded by the people that love him⊠he wouldnât have his career eitherâ and he knows that.â you nudged his shoulder gently with yours. âhe loves you⊠and i hope you know that too.â
gojo stared at you blankly for a minute before his eyes gradually filled with fat tears, his lips wobbling.
ây/nnnnn!â he wailed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and rubbing his cheek side to side on top of your head. âyou sweet little angel! you always know just what to say! oh iâve never felt so moved! iâm paying for your college tuition okay?!â
âhuh?! no! you canât pay it please no!ââ
âi have to! i have to! youâre my future daughter in lawââ
âyouâre gonna make me cryyyy!ââ
megumi turned around curiously at the familiar sound of his dadâs crying, his shoulders relaxing once he saw it was just you and him jumping around and wailing and hugging over god knows what, him smiling softly to himself.
âtold you dummy.â he muttered under his breath. âhe loves you.â
âwho loves who?!â your best friend shot up. âyuji loves me? yeah no shitââ
âheyyy!â yuji whined. âare you saying youâre used to my love? that itâs boring?â
âno! i never said that! youâre just as dramatic as satoruââ
megumi ignored them and started making his way back over to you, and upon you and gojo realizing, he put you down with a smile and you proceeded to walk across the waterâ your heart secretly heavy over everything gojo had told you.
if you had known, you wouldâve worked ten times harder for megumi to know how much he was loved and appreciated by everything in his lifeâ the thought of him thinking such cruel things of himself making it hard for you to keep your crybaby tears down as he got closer.Â
megumi didnât deserve the life he grew up withâ the one that was outside of satoruâs control.
the one filled with loneliness and judgement and justâ nothing. he didnât deserve to be looked upon as indifferent and actually label himself as so without mercy and without any means of saving himself.
âi caught a fishââ
you flung your arms around his neck and pulled him down tight as he let out a huff of surprise, your eyes screwed shut as you tried your absolute best to keep the tears at bay as you hugged him with everything that you had.
âi love you gumiâŠâ
he slowly snaked his arms around your waist and hugged you back.
âi love you tââ
âno but i love you.â you pulled back to look at him, his eyebrows furrowing at your sad expression. âa lot. more than anything. please tell me you know that.â
his concerned eyes darted around your face momentarily before slowly nodding.
âiâ i do. i feel the same wayââ he shook his head. âare you okay?â
you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck and nodded, the ebb and flow of the water swaying the both of you gently as you embraced each other.
megumi didnât push further after that, opting to asking you about it after as you pulled him to the big giant rock off to the side of the waterfall where many others had jumped off of previously throughout the day, you excitedly bouncing on your toes once you both reached the topâ no sign of prior sadness from you that only confused him.
âoooo iâm scaredâ fuck iâm scared!â you shivered in place and megumi squeezed your hand.
âyouâve been talking about this all day.â he murmured, gently nudging your shoulder with his. âyou canât back out now.â
âiâm not!â you shook your head frantically. âiâm not⊠right? or am i⊠oh god i think i amââ
âweâre jumping.â
âno!â you cried. âi canât do it i canât do itââ
âyes you can.â
âno i canât! iâm a big fat puss it took me a year to talk to you do you think i can do something like this?!â you threw your unoccupied hand out in emphasis. âfuck i didnât even talk to you, you talked to me!ââ
he leaned down to look at you at eye level.Â
âbaby, if you donât do this now youâre gonna be crying the entire way home in regret. do you wanna do that?â
ânoâŠâ you mumbled.
âdo you wanna regret this?â
ânoâŠâ
âthen jump with me.â
âgive me a kiss and then iâll do it.â
megumi laughed cutely and pecked your lips.
âyou ready now?â
âapparently.â
without warning, megumi booked it across the rock as you ran with him, his baseball legs nearly sending you fucking flying as you both jumped over the cliff and down below, a huge splash coming up as your submerged bodies naturally rose up to the surface, you cheering happily and peppering your boyfriend with kisses once it was over.
and when the sun eventually began to set, you all reluctantly left the lake with whines and borderline sobs as you dried up and shimmied on clean clothes before packing your bags up, beginning the walk back down the trail to the cabin shortly after.
it was a lot easier on the way down now that the sun wasnât scorching and burning over you allâ each of you refreshed and content from a days worth of swimming and fish catching as the cool night air softly brushed against your skin, the cabin soon coming into view a lot faster than you all anticipated.
and after arriving and showering and everyone getting comfy in their pajamas, you all ate dinner together in the grand living room where you finally watched human earthworm four under yujiâs begging request, your best friend succumbing up to it since he had been rejected so many times before already, but regretting it almost the second the movie started playing.
âi think iâm gonna be sick.â your best friend mumbled, a hand over her mouth.
âwhy? whatâs happening?â you whispered to megumi as you covered your eyes in pure fucking fear, him softly chuckling to himself.
âiâll spare you.â
âokay great thank you babyââ
âitâs not even that gory!â yuji exclaimed. âcmon babeee now i feel bad.â
âno donât.â she muttered beneath her hand. âitâs fine. iâm trying.â
âaw when your girlfriend loves youu.â yuji smiled cheekily, kissing her cheek as she laughed and pushed him away.
âi think i remember you showing me this movie a couple of years ago yujiâŠâ gojo pondered, scarfing down a bag of potato chips. âit was good but i prefer something more like pride and prejudiceââ
BANG!
you all froze.
silence.
âwhat the fuck was that?â you sat up, the rest of you stiff in alarm.
âi donât knowâŠâ yuji trailed off. âmaybe the wind? outside?â
âmaybe..â gojo mumbled with his mouthful. âi think itâs fine!â
you all eventually shrugged and continued watching the movie.
âoh no this is the partââ your girl friend quickly slapped a hand over her eyes. âi canât watch i canât watch i canât watch!ââ
âwell then i canât either!â you anxiously covered your eyes again as megumi lazily pulled you closer to his chest, him sleepily laying his cheek on top of your head.
âyou guys canât hang!ââ
BAANGGG!!
âoh fuck no!ââ your best friend screamed and reached for the remote, shutting off the tv. âsomethingâs outside.â
ânuh uh.â gojo frantically shook his head with wide blue eyes. âsome-one is outside⊠that bang was way too loud for it to be an animal.â
you shot up in fear, megumi slowly following suit and sitting up with pinched eyebrowsâ now wide awake from all of the noise.
âsomeone has to go check!â your best friend harshly whispered. âsatoru go check!â
âno way!â he cried. âplease! no! i canât go out there!ââ
âi thought you said you were our âparental supervision?ââ she spat. âgo do parental supervision activities and go outside!ââ
âbut iâm too handsome to go outside!ââ
âwell someone needs to!ââ
another crashing bang came from outside, way louder than the previous times as you all screamed in terror and ran to each other, huddling close together on the floor as you silently anticipated for the next sound.
âoh my god someoneâs actually outside.â you whispered. âwhat if theyâre trying to break in?â
âoh donât say that sweetheart i brought my rose crystals with me!â gojo whined, megumi shooting him an annoyed look.
âi couldâ i could go check?â yuji offered, his voice slightly shaking as he propped himself up to stand.
âno!â your best friend grabbed him. âno yuji if you go outside youâll never come back you canât!â
ânever come back?â he gulped, immediately plopping himself back down. âi wanna come back...â
âthen stay insideââ
BAAANG!!
the power went out as you all erupted in a fit of horrified screams in the pitch black living room, megumi instantly clasping a hand over your wrist to feel you there and tugging you gently.
âdonât separate from me.â you heard him mumble.
âwhat the fuck do we do?!â
âsomeone is trying to rob us someone is trying to robââ
âquick! the four of you! stand in front of me!â gojo gasped. âthis is our last night on earth and iâll be damned if i donât live to see you all be wed!â
he stood and ran. âquick quick! we donât have time! iâll be the officiant hurry and line upââ
your girl friend shook her head incredulously. âsatoru you cannot be serious right nowââ
âoh iâm dead serious.â he nodded frantically. âwe are gathered here todayââ
BAANNGG!!
âweâre done! weâre done! weâre done!ââ
âfuck this.â megumi mumbled, standing and pulling you up with him before wrapping his arms around your legs and throwing you over his shoulder, readjusting his grip before quickly walking out of the living room and down the hall to the bathroom, using the faint glow of the moonlight to help light his way.
and once he found it, he carefully set you down on the cold tile floor by the tub and stepped back.
âiâm gonna go check outside.â he reached for the door knob. âstay here okay.â
âno!â you gasped, crawling over and grabbing his wrist. âno gumi please donât go outside iâll go you stay hereââ
âno way.â he pushed. âjust stay here iâll be right backââ
âif you go outside youâll die!â you cried dramatically. âand then your ghost has to watch me move on by the pressures of society even though i donât want to move on but i apparently have toââ you tugged him closer, eyes wide. âdo you want to see me with another man?!â
âbabyââ
âdo you?!â
âno the fuck i donâtââ
âthen stay here andââ
âAAAAHHHHHH!â
you both looked at each other blankly for a couple of seconds before megumi quickly shut the door and locked it, crawling his way over to you through the dark bathroom then and reaching out to feel where you were atâ sitting next to you once he found you.
your hands found each others and you interlaced your fingers, you scared for your fucking life and worried over what was going on out there with the rest of them, your head coming down to rest on his shoulder as his came to rest on your head.
after a few silent moments, you spoke up.
âwanna know something?â
he lifted his head to look down at you.
âwhat baby.â
âwhen you drew my initials in the dirt at the world series⊠i saw my life flash before my eyes.â
megumi chuckled as he reached up to gently brush some of your hair away from your eyes.Â
âsaw your life flash before your eyes?â he murmured. âin a good way or a bad way.â
âin a good way.â you smiled.Â
he hummed.Â
âand what did you see?â
âcanât tell you or it wonât come true.â you giggled. âi wished for it on 11:11 itâs legally binding.â
he chuckled and squeezed your hand.
ââŠwas i in it?â
you nodded. âthrough the entire thing.â
his eyes softened.
your mind was suddenly drawn to the conversation you had with gojo at the lake, and you frowned.
âgumiâŠâÂ
âhm?â
you lifted your head and shifted your body slightly to try and look at him, the darkness of the bathroom not really helping but you satisfied with the slight outlines you could see of his face.
âare you happy?â
his brows furrowed, slightly taken aback.Â
âyes⊠why?â
âhave you always been happy?â you pushed further. âlikeâ your whole life. the happy you are now, have you always been?â
he stopped.
megumiâs never lied to you, and he never intended to do so, but he juggled the possibility of maybe this being one of those times where a little white lie was deemed kind of necessary.
âuhâ yeah.â he nodded.
you pursed your lips.Â
after a period of silence and you playing with his long fingers, you spoke up again.
âgumi i want you to know that you deserve everything youâve ever gotten in your life.â
his head snapped up.
âand i donât ever want you to feel like you donât. youâve worked hard and had to deal with too much to think that you donât deserve any of what you get in return.â
why were you telling him this?
âso when you tell me that youâve always been happy, i hope thatâs the truth.â
he bit the inside of his cheek in regret, hating that he lied already, and fearful of your reaction to the factuality of his life.
âi uhââ he struggled. âsometimes i think i donât deserve it.â
all of the time, actually.
âwhy gumi?â you asked sadly.
he shook his head. âi donât really ever do anything. and iâm⊠difficult.â
âbut you do everything. thatâs all youâve ever done.â
megumi frowned.
âi just piss people off baby.â he murmured. âiâm lucky youâre not one of them.â
âno gumiââ your grip tightened around his hand. âitâs not you though, itâs them. itâs their problem if they want to get pissed off and think of you a certain way, not yours. and that definitely doesnât link to other situations in your life.â
you leaned your head down to try and catch his attention, his eyes drifting to yours once you did. âi want you to know that there is so much more that life wants to give you. so much. even more than what you have now⊠and you need to give yourself the chance to let it.â
megumi could only nod, and you sighed softly.
âyou need to go easy on yourself gumi⊠please stop thinking that everything is your fault because it never has been. youâve never done anything wrong.â
you tenderly ran the pads of your fingers over the back of his hand.
âlife isnât all that bad⊠it brought you to me, didnât it?â
it did.
but when was it that megumi earned the rare privilege to be with you in the first place? what did he do so right that made you look at him the way that you did, when everything he did was always so fucking wrong?
andâ and why did he receive the fortunes of time that night? the fortune that put you right in front of him at that party three years ago? the one he almost didnât even go to?
because living a life thatâs empty and dormant is all megumi knew how to doâ blurring through all aspects of it without any means of pulling himself out from the waves of fucking nothing, thinkingâ believing that he made no significance to anything as the faces of everyone around him were hazy and confusing with a big fat âxâ plastered across every single one.
he never allowed himself to see. to feel. he never thought it was worth it. he never thought he was worth it.
so why did it feel like the universe made you just for him, when all he did in return was loathe it? why was it so forgiving?
âyou know⊠i wasnât a virgin when we met.â he mumbled.
âi know.â you responded softly. âthereâs no way you fuck me this good without prior knowledgeââ
he snorted, but eventually shook his head.Â
âit was only one time. years ago. and i didnât do it again until you.â
you only nodded understandingly, but the way your lips pursed in distaste was a dead giveaway to megumi that you werenât particularly keen about it, and neither would he if it was the other way around, the both of you equally and funnily territorial.
âit was when yuji and i first got signed to the team.â he began. âwe went to a season kick off party and a bunch of other players were there from other different sports. even international.â
you listened.
âi think that day was probably the worst iâve ever felt in my life.â he opened up to you. âi didnât really care about anything or feel anything⊠and i got really drunk when i donât even drink like that. i was lost and trying to find a way to help it, and i was so fucking exhausted andâ and angry at life for doing this to me... for leaving me alone.â
you swallowed the thick lump in your throat.
âso i got wasted to forget about it, and then i just went up to a random girl from i donât know what team and i donât even remember her nameââ he ran an exasperated hand through his hair. âit didnât help at all though. at all. i was still useless.â
megumi peered up at you then, a tiny sad smile on his face.Â
âand if i knew you were coming i wouldâve never done it.â he murmured. âi wouldâve wanted you to have it.â
âuseless?â you breathed out in disbelief. âhow could you ever think youâre useless gumi?â
âi donât do anything pretty baby.â he shook his head. âi donât deserve the career i have, i donât deserve the father i have, and i sure as fuck donât deserve youââ
âbut why?â you raised your voice a bit. âwhy canât you just let yourself have those things? theyâre yours theyâre all yours everything that youâve ever done in your life has led up to this point with you and i together. with your dad. with yuji and my best friend. youâre so fucking selfless and kind and forgiving to the point where itâs dangerous because now you just donât believe anything is rightfully yours.â
âiââ
âyouâre everything to me. the greatest privilege iâve ever gotten in my life is to literally just know you gumi. to know who you are and to know what youâve done and what you representâŠÂ how significant you are.â
he stared.
âyou didnât get lucky with anything because youâve earned it all. youâve done everything right so please let yourself be happy baby⊠be selfish for once in your life and just take whatever it is that life is pushing to you without looking back because you deserve to do something like that after giving for so fucking long.â
you leaned in then and delicately planted your soft lips to his forehead, letting them linger there for a moment before pulling back and pressing your little cheek beside his lovingly.
âyou deserve to be known, megumi.â
what specifically was it that he did that brought you to him?Â
what the fuck was it that earned him the right to listen and receive your captivating loving words that soothed his pain like nothing else could? like nothing else ever could?
because whatever it was that he did, he wanted to keep doing over and over again for the rest of his life until the stars fell from the sky.
it was because of you that megumi already thought life wasnât so bad after all.
the way youâd get excited over little things like magnets from greece and cake batter ice cream and baby deer and coffee cake and lady and the tramp gummy worm kisses, the way youâd laugh about almost anything even if it wasnât that funny, the way youâd greet him every time you saw him with a skip to your step and a sweet little kiss to his face, the way you simply enjoyed the light soaked joys of life without any ounce of hatred in your heart like he had up until the moment he met youâ all made him believe that life maybe is precious in the end.Â
and your face never had an âxâ plastered over it when he first saw you.
your face was beautiful and radiant and clearâ not a single haze or blur over it as he felt his body miraculously float to the top from his makeshift sea of nothing, your soul pulling on his hand so he could finally breathe for once when he hadnât even said a word to you at the party yetâ you standing there under the neon lights in a pretty little pink dress and an angelic fucking smile.
you were like being bathed in the rays of the sunâ blissfully happy and free⊠and you loved him. something megumi to this day still couldnât understand but never once questioned it, terrified of jinxing it away and you leaving him when dying sounded a lot more appealing to him than that.
and megumi couldnât remember the last time he properly criedâ tears rolling down his cheeks and all.
but he was doing it now, in the pitch black bathroom with the same person that taught him how to feel as his shoulders trembled, him straining and alarmed and completely lost as to what someone is supposed to do when they cry.
so megumi listened when his body pulled him forward and when his head gently tucked itself into your neckâ your eyes widening and teary as you felt wet droplets fall and roll down your skin, him swallowing back hiccups.
âgumi?â you whispered worriedly, going to pull back but stopping once you felt him snake his arms around you and drag you slowly to sit on his lap.
âplease stay.â
it was quick when you realized his words had double meaning as you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him so so close and snug that you hoped and prayed megumi would comprehend the unconditional love you had for him through your embrace as he silently weepedâ him clutching at your clothes as if he was trying to make sure you were actually real and not just some fucked up dream where he finally learned to be happy.
âiâm never leaving megumi.â you said seriously. âever. even when you ask me to or yell at me to⊠i wonât.â
you felt him solemnly nod, a comforting wave consuming the both of you as you sat and held him while he sniffled.
ââŠgumi.â he corrected after a moment, pinching your side.
âsorry!â you sputtered and quickly pecked his cheek. âsorry⊠i was having a serious moment and i needed to use your full government name.â
he huffed out a laugh through his tears.
âsâokay.â
you ran a soothing comforting hand along his back, megumi slumping into you at the feeling as you peppered gentle kisses along his forehead and wet face, wiping his cheeks continuously again and again patiently until he eventually settled and his breathing evened out.
he silently leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss then, his hands coming up to cup your face as you cupped his, your mouthâs moving so slowly and softly as his thumbs caressed your pretty cheeksâ you smiling through the kiss before gently pulling back.
âi love you pretty baby.â he grinned.
âi love you gumiâŠâ you smiled kindly. âand if you ever leave me iâm strapping a bomb to my chest and laying on your bean bag until you change your mind.â
megumi burst out laughing, his little squeaks making you giggle as he shook his head and nudged your forehead playfully with his index finger.
âyouâll never have to worry about something like that.â he spoke lowly.
âand neither will you.â
he smiled.
âiââ
âmegumi and y/n where the fuck are you?!â
you both froze, eyes wide.
âi completely forgot why we were in here in the first place.â you frantically whispered, him nodding along with you in agreement.
âoh my god theyâre dead theyâre deadââ
âsatoru be quiet!ââ
you heard multiple soft padded footsteps near the door of the bathroom, megumi wiping his eyes with his sleeves a little to get rid of the evidence before you reached up and helped him wipe his left over tears.
âdonât worry gumi.â you spoke sweetly. âthe powerâs still out so they wonât be able to see if thatâs what youâre thinking about...â
he sent you a little smile and gave you a fat kiss on the cheek.
once your boyfriend gave you the all clear, the both of you slowly stood and unlocked the doorâ it creaking as you timidly opened it.
there on the other side, the rest of the group stood a couple of feet away, them jumping at the noise but relaxing once they saw it was just the two of you.
âwhat the hell were you guys doing in there?!â your best friend harshly whispered, rushing over and pulling you into a tight hug. âwe couldnât find you for like thirty minutes!â
âhiding.â megumi answered flatly, and she shot him a glare.
âso you just pick her up and take her away?! leaving the rest of us over there to die?!â
he nodded.
âyou sadistic freakââ
âokay! okayââ yuji tugged your girl friend back from her mid attempt lunge and into his arms, squeezing in hopes of it calming her down with megumi smirking from behind. ââwe found them itâs all overâŠâ
âmegumi why couldnât you pick me up too on the way?â gojo whined. âiâm your dad!â
âyouâre too heavy.â
he gasped. âso youâre saying you wouldâve?â
ânoââ
âyouâve changed him y/n youâve changed him!â gojo jumped on you and spun you around. âheâs a new man! a loving man! iâm paying for your textbooks too!ââ
âno!ââ
you all decided to reconvene in the living room at some point after that, huddling together on the same couch and staring silently at the wall ahead of you in the darkâ soaking in your pathetic fear and refusal to go out and check outside as you all froze and trembled with chattering teeth at how cold it was.
finally, you had had enough.
âiâm going outside.â you muttered, standing from the couch.
megumiâs hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.
âno.â he spoke firmly. âno youâre not.â
âyes i am gumi, i have to try and see what happened to the breaker box outside or weâre all gonna freezeââ
âno.â
âyes.â
âno.â
âgumi!â
âiâm coming with you.â
âabsolutely nâ eeekkk!â
megumi had you thrown over his shoulder before you knew it as you squealed, trudging over to the front door as the rest of them watched with wide eyes.
âbrave brave soulsâŠâ yuji whispered dreamily. âiâll miss themâŠâ
âsacrifice is the purest form of loveâŠâ gojo sniffed. âthey love usââ
their voices trailed off as megumi carried you outside and to the side of the cabin where he assumed the breaker box might be, you yelping when he roughly bit your ass just before setting you back down on your feet.
you both treaded along carefully, the wooden floorboards creaking beneath each step as the chilly air whipped through your bodies and produced goosebumps as a result, megumiâs hand clasped around yours as he led the way.
âdo you think itâs a person or an animal that did it?â you spoke, tone hushed.
âif it was a person i think they wouldâve broken in by now.â he mumbled. âbut then i donât know why the power went out.â
âme neitherâŠâ you gnawed at the inside of your cheek in worry, squinting your eyes to try and see better through the darkness as the only sign of life apart from you two were the ringing crickets in the trees.
you clasped your other hand around your already intertwined ones anxiously, him squeezing your hand reassuringly in exchange.
âmaybe we shouldâve brought a bat.â you suggested. âyou know⊠because you swing it and stuff.â
he chuckled. âswing it and stuff?â
âuh huh.â you nodded. âfor protection. i realize now that if it is a person weâre kind of dead because we brought nothingââ
just as you were approaching the corner to the balcony, a sudden rustling scratchy noise made you both freeze in place immediately.Â
âweâre done forââ you whispered frantically. ââweâre dead okay dying so now i have to tell you before we go that youâre the hottest man iâve ever met in my damn life and i hope you know thatââ
his cheeks grew hot. âbaby weâre not dyingââ
âdo you see it? where is it? what is it? whatâs making that noiseââ
megumi peeked his head around the balcony, his eyes scanning the view in front of him before his shoulders slumped and his face went dead.
âitâs a fucking raccoon.â
âhuh?â
you walked forward, peering around yourself only to find a chunky fluffy raccoon by the breaker box chewing on one of the disconnected cables, the lounge chairs and decorative plant vases on the balcony all knocked over in disarray that could only explain the constant loud banging you all heard earlier.
âwe were losing our minds for this.â he mumbled.
you laughed and pulled him along, the raccoon perking up and freezing once it sensed your presence before it dropped the chewed up cable, its heavy little paws scurrying off into the trees ahead and disappearing into the night.
âaw maaann!â you whined. âi wanted to pet itâŠâ
âdonât think that wouldâve been smart baby.â he chuckled, walking over to the breaker box and crouching down.
âwhy not?â you pouted. âit was cute. and chubby.â
âbecause itâs a wild animal.â he blindly tugged and fiddled with a few cables in hopes that something would magically happen. âit couldâve bit you if you did.â
âso? you bite me all the time whatâs the difference.â
he laughed. âiâll stop then.â
âno!â you cried, throwing your arms around his neck and leaning your weight on his back as he let out a surprised huff, him still crouching as his hands instantly came under your thighs to keep you from slipping.
âno gumi iâm sorry! please! i like it when you do it!â
âyou complained.â
âi didnât! i was just trying to justify petting the raccoon i swear!â
a sly smile played across his lips.
âsay youâre sorry.â
âiâm sorry!â
âand that you love me.â
âi love you i love you!â
âand that youâre never leaving me.â
âiâm never leaving you ever ever everââ
megumi plugged in the chewed up cable in a random lucky slot and the cabin sprung to life, the warm lights instantly blinding both your visions from being in the dark for so longâ you hearing the group inside scream and cheer as his strong legs stood up, hoisting you further up his back and properly hooking his arms underneath your thighs.
ânice job gumi!â you gushed. âcool baseball man and electrician.â
he let out an amused breath as he turned his head to the side and pecked your cheek, his heart fuzzy as you readjusted your arms and wrung yourself closer to him, the side of your cheek pressed up against his.
âi plugged it into a random spot.â
âand what.â you quipped. âi wouldâve plugged it into the wrong spot and blown up the cabin.â
megumi smiled to himself as he continued to walk along the side of the air bnb and back over to the front, his legs carrying you up the steps of the porch and inside the house where you found yuji and your best friend bickering over human earthworm four again, and gojo nearly passed out on the couch with his hand inside a bag of chips and crumbs over his mouth.
âyou guys!â your girl friend sat up. âwho was outside?! did you see?!â
âit was a raccoon!â you exclaimed as megumi carefully bent his knees a bit so you could slide off his back. âand a chubby one! it knocked over everything and chewed up the breaker box.â
âa fucking raccoon?â she groaned, slumping off the couch and trudging over to the stairs. âiâm going to bed all that freaking mess and stupidity for a damn animalââ
âooo! wait for me babe!â yuji quickly turned off the tv and zoomed over to her, picking her up bridal style like nothing as she squealed and laughed.
you watched them with a warm smile go up the stairs before walking over to a snoozed out gojo.
âjust let him be baby.â megumi murmured and you stopped, him carefully prying his greasy hand away from the chip bag and tossing it before grabbing a throw blanket and settling it gently over his dad, you smiling and giving your man a kissy on the lips before retreating up to your room yourselves to sleep, wanting to rest up for the big drive back home tomorrow.
but definitely not before megumi pinned you down and gave you the best eat out of your fucking life.
âi canât! i canât i canât gumi please i canât cum againââ
âiâm eating.â he grumbled against your wet abused pussy, pulling you roughly back down after you tried to run away from his mouthâ his hips subconsciously thrusting against the mattress to ease his aching dick.
âyouâve madeââ pant! âyouâve made me cum three times already pleâ eeekk!â
megumi slobbered over your slick folds, completely not giving a single shit about what you had to say as his tongue plunged into your hole repeatedly with his arms locked around your waist, keeping you meanly cemented to the bed with no inch for escape.
and he was eating so loudly tooâ slurping and gulping as he ran his mouth over your pussy side to side as you squealed, your fingers gripping the sheets and trembling when he pulled back to spit on your puffy overstimulated clit.
âgumi plleeaassee!ââ you hiccuped, his dick spasming at the way you gasped and choked and clenched your thighs around his head, watching the way his drool oozed down your clit and pooled on the bed over the already wet patch on the sheets.
ânuh uh.â he spoke with his mouth full, tongue licking a fat stripe up your slit. ânot âtill you squirt on my face.â
âbut iâ i caaannât!ââ
âiâll make you then.â
megumi let your clit go with a pop and hovered up over you, him sucking messily over his ring and middle finger before trailing them back down to your pussy and prodding your hole open, your breath hitching as you felt them sink inside of youâ megumi nudging your head to the side with his cheek before diving and biting over your exposed neck.
you shrieked breathlessly when he wasted absolutely no time at all and started skillfully jerking his fingers inside and out of your hole rapidly, his mouth licking and sucking over your neck as your pussy practically screamed and gushed over the speed, your hand shooting down to grab his wrist.
âfuckkkâ mâgonna cum again gumi please let me pleaseââ
âyouâre so polite pretty baby...â he hummed against your neck, his breath shuddering as he fucked you fast with his fingers. âonly if you squirt. if not mâtaking my hand away.â
âno!â you shook your head frantically as he licked over a new hickey amongst the other five he already gave you. âdonât take it away iâll do it iâll do it!ââ
you didnât even know if you could since squirting isnât something you can just do on command, but you were so pathetically desperate for him and his mean fucking mouth and fingers that you didnât give a single fuck and just wanted to cream all over his big hand.
megumi groaned into your neck and rammed his digits over and over and over, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as the sounds coming out of your hole were wet and sticky and gross and it only further got megumi off as he forced your legs to stay open, you running off a high pitched moan as huge fat drops of your squirt trickled out, him shooting down and hovering his mouth over your pussy so you could finish all over his face just like he wanted.
âfuuuucckk just like that baby yeahââ he panted, slowly slobbering up your remaining release as your body twitched with ecstasy and severe overstimulation, you literally limp on the bed as he soon peeled back and licked his tongue over his lips like he just ate the most delicious meal of his entire existence (he did), wiping his wet face down with his sleeve after.
megumi pulled your panties back up and your shirt down with a kiss to your wrist, settling into bed next to you and chuckling when you whined dazedly and weakly pushed against his chest as he tried to pull you in.
âwhat baby?â
âyouâre mean.â you mumbled, eyes fluttering closed as you shoved your nose into his neck.
âmâsorry.â he spoke softly, a little smirk on his lips. âwhat did i do?â
âyou know what.â you grumbled, feigning annoyance. âand how am i supposed to hide the ten hickeys you just gave me you vacuum.â
he laughed into your hair as he ran a soothing hand over your bare thigh. âiâll give you one of my hoodies baby itâll be fine.â
âmhm.â
and he didâ the following morning when you all packed up and loaded your belongings and suitcases back into the van for the long drive home, megumi gave you one of his big baseball merch hoodies with his last name embroidered on the back to wear and hide your hickeys with the hood up.
but you shouldâve known you were never safe around your best friend⊠because on the ride back home she pounced on you from above your seat without mercy and snatched the hood off.
âoh my god!â she gasped, cackling as she peered and pointed at your love bites. âmegumi you little leech! what are you doing to her every night give her a damn break let her breatheââ
megumi pushed her off and she fell back in her seat behind them, her uncontrollable laughter making you whine and pull the hood back over your head in embarrassment.
âwhat? whatâs so funny?â yuji asked, unplugging one of his earbuds.
ây/nââ
ânothing!â you jumped up and glared at her. ânothing! nothingâs funny at all i donât know why sheâs laughing.â
your best friend snickered and blew you a kissy face, shrugging. âyeah i forgot what it wasââ
âmy kids!â gojo called from the front, pushing his round black sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before beaming. ânow how would we feel if i was finally invited back to one of your games ehh? megumi? am i allowed back inââ
âno.â he deadpanned.
your eyebrows furrowed. âallowed?â
âsatoruâs banned from the stadium.â yuji laughed. âour management wonât allow him on property and if they see him they freak and call the police.â
âhuh?!â you sat up. âwhy!â
âhe brought fireworks to our first world series and set them off in the middle of the fucking game.â megumi grumbled.
you slapped a hand over your mouth and laughed loudly, gojo shooting you a cheeky smile from the rear view mirror.
âthat was you?!â you shook your head incredulously. âi remember that! it woke me up i was sleeping during the gameââ
ââlike she always was until the day she saw her little leech.â your girl friend cut in, and you couldnât really counter that as you giggled and nodded in agreement.
âcan you blame me?!â gojo exclaimed. âmy sonâs first world series and you expect me not to do something extravagant to showcase my fatherly love?â
âyou couldâve just sat there and watched.â megumi pushed, readjusting his arms and pulling you closer as your head fell on his shoulder.Â
âbut thatâs borinngg! did you like the fireworks y/n?â
âi did!â you perked up. âthey were really pretty! and it kept me awake for the rest of the game so i didnât miss them winning.â
âsee?! the only one who appreciates me in this van is your wife megumi. thatâs why sheâs my favorite.â
you giggled as megumi rolled his eyes, and he turned his attention to you once he felt you tug a little at his jacket, the rest of the group going back to their own worlds.
âwhenever your dad calls me your wife⊠it reminds me of when you drew my initials in the dirt.â
his brows pinched. âhow come?â
âbecause thatâs what i saw when my life flashed before my eyes.â you spoke softly. âand what i wished for on 11:11.â
megumiâs heart incandescently melted at your little words as he linked them to what you had mentioned earlier in the bathroom, his mind playing wonderful images of a married life with youâ something he had already pictured many many times before in the late hours of the night when he was up lovesick over you.Â
âi wish for it too. everyday.â he murmured, and you beamed, your cute face coming up to give him a sugary kiss before your head settled back over his shoulder.
âgood.â you replied. âbecause if not i was gonna strap two bombs to my chest and superglue myself down to your bean bag.â
he snorted and fixed over the throw blanket that was draped over the two of you, pinching your little cheek before getting comfy with you again on the coushy black leather seat, both of your eyes watching the passings of trees and cabins and rivers from the window for a while as the slight rock of the van and megumiâs arms eventually lulled you to sleep, his scent filling your body with warmth and familiarity that soothed your mind over with little to no effort at all.
megumi looked down at you then and stared before he trailed a delicate thumb over your bottom lip, his eyes greedily drinking in the sight of just you as you slept peacefullyâ the details of your face something he wanted to commit to unforgettable memory and recall across every single life time in hopes that it would bring him to you in each one.
and he wondered why the universe was so forgiving again as he watched you sleep.
but instead of spending time desperately trying to come up with a useless answer, it still wouldnât change the fact that he was given the chance to properly live again with an angel like you⊠and he found himself thankful for the universe in exchange actually.
thankful for it listening to him. thankful for it watching him. thankful for it granting him the life that he lived now, the same one he dreamed about and yearned over since he was a teen, and the same one that wouldnât have been possible in the first place if it wasnât for you bouncing into his lifeâ silly and talkative as you settled into the crevices of his existence and got comfortable with no means of ever leaving, him never wanting you to as he shut the doors of his soul and bolted it tight with thirty different locks.
you made him happy, as simple as that may sound, for it was something that he never was.
you showed him how to love. you showed him how to laugh. you showed him how to cry as the concept itself and feeling was extremely foreign to himâ almost taboo even.Â
you saw him cry before he even saw himself. and though he half expected to be embarrassed and relieved that it was pitch black in the bathroom so you wouldnât have properly seenâ he didnât really fucking care because it was you.Â
and how was crying supposed to feel? that much he couldnât tell.
but if crying felt like that every timeâ afloat, alive, goodâ with the same woman who teetered over the edge and pulled him from his empty sea, with the same one who noticed him when nobody else did, and the same one who made him feel like he was blessed by the eternal warmth of the sun with just her gaze aloneâ
then maybe crying was something megumi wanted to do all of the time.
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @fushigurioo @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @k4zivy @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @stilettoheelz @tinyray-lovesfood @mirophobic @aylinnhealsformeow @zeesturniolo @asparkofapricity @arionater @lolololololhanma @dancer545 @dongh9e @bluberrymochi17 @princesstiti14 @heeseung-lover686 @livmarauder @kikiiguess @dee-writes-anime @iloveoldermenn @starrysho @nanabeesblog @simplyraeblue
tumblr wonât let me tag some of you i donât know why ugh!!! :((
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yuta okkotsu#gojo satoru#jjk fanfic#jjk x you#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fluff#megumi fluff#megumi x you#jjk megumi#jujutsu megumi#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk yuji#jjk geto#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu yuta#jujutsu geto#gojo x you#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#yuji itadori#yuji x reader#nanami kento
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Also wtffff pay attention to me :(((
.. The (not too long lasting) urge to ghost people just because they don't give me much attention or/and don't respond to me right away, plus projecting my insecurities onto them/fearing their possible hidden judgments - is Real.
#đ€đ#Yes I know people have lives + people care about me + my brain is going blank but basically ik the world doesn't revolve around me#but sometimes I wish it did a bit whenever I'd want it to#OH and when I'm feeling socially insecure/getting rejection sensitivity dysphoria big time#I wouldn't ghost someone ever unless if like.. They were dangerous to my wellbeing or some shit.#+ I value talking things out/regulating my emotions/the good stuff y'know?#beung honest and vulnerable whenever I'm ready/feel safe enough#being*#-- Or sometimes instead of that urge I just feel sad or mild anger + ''>:p fine!! Meanie ass/fuckhead... đ'' + once in a while mild#arrogance - the arrogance/superiority thingy (idk what to call it) only really happens towards ppl I remember who've hurt/made me feel#really insecure in some kinda way#though. Also - this is coming from a person who's more humble and rarely tries to attention seek (or.. Maybe just overtly?)#Hell - I used to think I was *better* than attention seeking people and couldn't stand it. Now I can understand mult. reasons why ppl do#that though and don't think so harshly about it#btw Yes ik what cognitive distortions are!... Gonna add that to my pinned post actually#What having a minimal amnt of socialization/semi-involuntary isolation and ableist xps/trauma/double empathy issues does to a mf
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