#57 ball human

[royalstarstorm]

My human version of 57 ball from itft since I barely even see fanart of him frfr

Also here’s my human version of The Sun

[akanemnon]

TWIN RUNES MASTERPOST

Because of the limited amount of links you can put into a post, you can find the links to each page in these sub-posts:

To be continued...

FAQ under the cut!

TWIN RUNES MINI COMICS

Glasses - Frisk Dance - But nobody came - An acquired taste -Smalltalk - All You Can Eat - Page 75 EXTRA -

AFTER RUNES:

Not-To-Do-List - Beach Episode - Salute the Frick - Morning Routine - The Universe is a Hologram - Trick as a Treat - Taste the Painbow - Dungeon Doofus

PRE-RUNES:

Fallen down - First steps - Press [C] - Eye opening - Whatstheirface - Acid reflux - Connection issues - Normal Human Behavior

______________________________________________________________

TWIN RUNES - FAQ

What exactly is this AU about? Twin Runes is essentially a comedic crossover AU between the universes of Deltarune and Undertale. No fancy nicnacs. Just the characters being their chaotic selves. But there might be some darkness lurking up ahead... ____________________

When is the next comic? The comic updates most Sundays at 6:30 PM Central European Time. ____________________

Why is this AU called Twin Runes? The name is more or less a play on the typical naming format of most AU's by featuring the "Runes" part. There are no literal Twin Runes. The whole name is more of a stand in for Undertale and Deltarune as parallel worlds. Hence the "Twin" part. ____________________

When does Twin Runes take place? This AU takes place between a hypothetical Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 of Deltarune. On the Undertale side of things, it takes place post neutral route just as Frisk was about to deliver Undyne's letter to Alphys.

How many pages are there going to be? The script for this comic estimates that the comic is going to be 137 pages long (if I don't make any major changes). ____________________

Is the Player a thing in this AU? The Player(s) lost control over both human children as soon as Frisk entered the world of Deltarune. Essentially, the reader takes the role of the Player. You have no influence on the outcome of the story anymore. All you can do is watch. Both Kris and Frisk refer to the Player as "It" and "the THING". ____________________

Is there going to be a Weird Route? Due to the lack of Player, all choices made by Kris are now their own. How to engage in battle all depends on Kris, and not the Player. Because of that, there are NO DIFFERENT ROUTES. There is only one route and that one is based on Kris' choices. Because of the lack of save points, there is no "what-if" scenario. ____________________

When Chapter 3 and 4 are released, will it affect the story? Any chapters after Chapter 3 won't affect the story in the grand scheme of things. Twin Runes created a new timeline so to speak. ____________________

How old are the characters in this story? Frisk appears to be around 9 years old. Kris thinks they're 14. (Both Frisk and Kris don't know their actual age.) Chara died when they were around 10-11. Susie is around 15-16 (she was held back once) Ralsei appears to be the same age as Kris. ____________________

What's up with Kris' and Frisk's hair? The red bits of their hair is more or less a representation of their souls. That in turn is also why Chara doesn't have that feature. They are soulless. It's a stylistic choice. ____________________

What's that thing on Kris' chest? It's a scar they got from tearing out their soul.

And why do they have weird lines all over their body? Both Kris and Frisk's anatomy resemble that of ball-jointed dolls. They appear just as markings across their bodies. Think of them as elaborate birthmarks. Kris and Frisk are still made of flesh and blood, but are in fact hypermobile. The reason as to why they do is still a little secret :) People here like to refer to these markings as "puppet limbs". You can get a better look at them and the scar in this artwork

Why does Kris have braces? This is why:

Why is Dark World Frisk green? Frisk changes their main sweater colors with Kris when they enter the Dark World.

Can other ghosts see Chara? (pre Darkner transformation) No, only Frisk and Kris are able to see Chara. ____________________

IS KRIS NOW FRISK'S COUNTERPART OR CHARA'S???? :) ____________________

So, was Chara in the locket all along? No, Chara possessed the locket to become a Darkner. ____________________

Where are Jevil and Spamton? Are they in Castle Town? The Fun Gang have already fought these two in the previous chapters and added them into their inventory. Outside of that little dream sequence, neither will be making an appearance. ____________________

Is anyone from Undertale Yellow gonna make an apperance? Outside of a tiny cameo from Clover (that has no greater bearing on the story) no one from Undertale Yellow is going to make an appearance. ____________________

Is (insert character here) gonna go to the Dark World/underground? With the way the story is going to play out, only the main group will be heading to this new Dark World. The rest of the story will be taking place there. ____________________

How did you come up with the idea of Twin Runes? Twin Runes is an offshoot of a separate script I wrote. It's a similar concept but turned on its head. The funny moments in that script made me just continue what now is the start of Twin Runes. I pretty much just wanted to see if I am actually capable of drawing a comic to begin with. So... in a way Twin Runes is my first attempt at a comic ever. If I ever finish Twin Runes, then I know I can tackle turning that mammoth project of a script into a comic too. In the grand scheme of things these two projects are sister series. They have A LOT in common and even share similar plot elements. When Twin Runes is over you will automatically also know certain mysteries of The Other Script. ____________________

What is The Other Script? As of this moment I call The Other Script: "Lost in the In-Between". At its core it's an inverse of Twin Runes. I.e. Kris falling into the underground and being aided by Frisk on their quest to return home. The story and jokes are a considerably more grounded than in Twin Runes and so are the characters. Though they do have their moments from time to time. The overall mood of that script is a lot darker in nature and it's a 200+ page passion project of mine. ____________________

Am I allowed to make fanart? ABSOLUTELY! You are very welcome to make fanart if you feel like it. Please let me know if you do by tagging me, so I can share it with everyone to see so that you get the appreciation you deserve :) ____________________ Can I use the funny faces you draw for memes or for stuff like memes or for profile pictures? That's what they're here for :) ____________________

Is there x ship in this comic? The focus of the story is not on shipping. If it's in the game it will very likely be mentioned or brought up, but that's about it. ____________________

What pronouns do you go with for the human children? I try to stick as close as possible to the games so I use THEY/THEM FOR ALL OF THEM WITHOUT ANY EXCEPTIONS.

______________________________________________________________

ABOUT ASKS

Asks will open for 24 hours after a new comic has been released. Your questions will then be answered over the course of the week.

Try not to submit multiple asks. If necessary, just keep everything in one post.

Keep in mind that I receive AL LOT of asks, so not every question can be answered...

Questions containing spoilers will not be answered on principle. Wouldn't be as fun if the surprise was ruined, right?

Before leaving an ask (mostly for everyone who's new), please make sure to read the FAQ section above. A lot of times your question might have been answered already :>

I love memes and dumb jokes as much as the next guy, but try not to spam

It probably goes without saying, but please stay civil. I want to give everyone the respect they deserve, and naturally like to be treated the same way.

Please be mindful about drawing requests. It is understandable if you're eager to see a certain character drawn in my style, but I do not like to be bombarded by requests. The more it happens, the less likely I am to do it. Be kind and ask nicely.

I don't take unsolicited comic ideas.

Don't use other people's posts that I reblogged to ask me questions! It has happened before and I do not wish to see this!

This isn't an ask blog. The comic has a script that will not deviate. Reader interaction with the characters won't be possible due to the overall "no Player" subplot.

Please do not ask me to put your characters into the story. Like I said, the script is already finished and I'm quite happy with it. Your characters are in better hands with yourself and your own stories. Please have respect for mine.

______________________________________________________________

ABOUT SUBMISSIONS

The submission box is for FANART ONLY!

It is meant for those who do not want to submit their fanart to their own blogs, in case they feel scared or intimidated to do so.

ASKS AND REQUESTS THAT ARE SUBMITTED THIS WAY WILL NOT BE ANSWERED.

Please wait until the ask box opens. You can read more on how asks work in the section above.

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCE SHEETS

The following are ref sheets of characters that don't have established Dark World forms yet (as of writing this comic). The list will be updated as soon as a new character enters the Dark World. Here you will also find references of characters that might appear as surprise cameos, or maybe even completely new faces...

______________________________________________________________

FULL ART

[devildomditzy]

You’re late for your date.

Like, Late late.

And of course, if the situation were switched, you wouldn’t have minded.

In fact, you would have expected it.

But you are you and Mammon is Mammon.

So of course, his leniency for being ignored is next to zero.

He leans against the front door inside the common room of the House of Lamentation. And he looks at his watch.

4:00

4:00

You’re an hour late.

And of course, Mammon tried to play it cool at first, swiping through his D.D.D with an unimpressed look on his face. He’s cool. Nonchalant. His brothers can’t know he’s internally freaking out;

Because he’s totally not.

Of course not. No way. Not over you of all people.

But he can’t hide the jitters so graciously given to him by his nervous system.

“Are you being stood up?”, Satan calls from a nearby armchair in the room, not bothering to look up from what he’s reading.

“I ain’t being stood up! They’ll be here, they’re just…busy. Yeah, that’s it. They’re busy.”

Asmo lays upside down on the couch, scrolling on his own D.D.D.

“Of course they stood him up, they’d much rather go on a date with mwah”, he gloats from his position.

“Oi! Shut up will ya?!”, Mammon screams back, now standing rigidly, hands balled up at his side in anger, leaning into the conversation, ready to make it an argument.

As he takes another breath to get a word out, Satan cuts him off.

“Where were you going anyway?”

“Yeah, where?”, Asmo brightly echos back.

Mammon sighs, body relaxing as he slouches back into his leaning position.

“We were supposed to go to Devil Coast ‘bout an hour ago. But of course MC ain’t got a bone of urgency in their body.”

He grunts, frustratingly looking down at his D.D.D. Twenty-five messages. No replies. What was up with ya?

Asmo cackles wildly, “Maybe they forgot about you, hm?”

Mammon’s face begins to heat up with anger.

“Listen here you little-”

Satan once again cuts him off. “We all know there’s no way they’d forget about Mammon. He’s much too loud”, he says, turning his page.

“Would y’all shuddup? Jeez”, Mammon’s tone becomes lethal in a way his brothers know they should stop pushing, so they do, shooting each other concerned glances.

“Have they texted you back at all?”, questions Satan.

Mammon sighs, “No, not yet.”

He looks down at his phone, scrolling through your message thread.

2:50 PM

Mammon: Yo! Ready to go?

Mammon: I’m by the front door, I’ll be waitin’ for ya.

Mammon: Remember to bring your coat ya dummy, cause I ain’t letting’ you borrow mine this time!

Mammon: Okay

Mammon: Maybe I would let ya borrow it if you really needed it and were shivering and stuff and needed The Great Mammon’s help to warm ya up.

Mammon: But you gotta say please 😜

2:57 PM

Mammon: Alright, where are ya?

Mammon: Thought we agreed on 3:00

Mammon: Do ya need more time gettin’ ready?

Mammon: Tryin’ to look good for your first, huh?

Mammon: I’ll wait a little longer for ya.

3:10 PM

Mammon: Hurry it up, will ya?

Mammon: I understand wantin’ to look nice, but it’s ten after! Ten!

Mammon: Ya know, you’re the only human that keeps me waitin’ like this!

3:30 PM

Mammon: Okay, yer bein’ kinda ridiculous right now.

Mammon: I mean come on, ya gotta date with Mammon. THE Mammon. Ya know how lucky you are?

Mammon: Alotta people would kill to be in your position.

3:35 PM

Mammon: But of course I wouldn’t go with them. I wouldn’t go on a date with anyone but you, okay?

Mammon: That’s why you need to get yer ass down here!

3:40 PM

Mammon: You’ve got some nerve makin’ THE Mammon wait around for ya!

3:45 PM

Mammon: Whatever, isn’t like I wanted to go out with ya anyway.

Mammon: I was doin’ this for you, ya know.

Mammon: Why would I wanna be see around with some lousy human?

Mammon: What am I, yer babysitter?

3:55 PM

Mammon: Look, I didn’t mean that, alright?

Mammon: Please come down.

“Are you sure they’re not asleep?”, Satan ponders curiously.

“Nah, I don’t think so. We’ve been talkin’ about this for weeks”, Mammon says defeatedly, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Are you sure they’re okay?”, Asmo asks, voice laced with concern.

“Okay?!”, Mammon shoots his attention to the avatar of lust. “Wah- what- why wouldn’t they be okay?”

Asmo looks around sheepishly, bringing his nails up to his lips to bite them, something he never does unless he’s either A) super stressed or B) covering something up.

Mammon steps towards his brother, anger beginning to boil, knowing what his mannerisms mean. “Whadda you know that I don’t?! C’mon, spill it!”

The urgency in his voice compels Asmo to speak, knowing how sensitive his brother is when it comes to you.

“Well… I promised them I wouldn’t tell you…”

“Tell me what?!”

His brother remains quiet for a moment.

“Asmo…”, Mammon threatens dangerously.

“Ugh, okay I’ll tell you”, Asmo sighs, mumbling quickly under his breath, “MC, please forgive me!”

Mammon stares at his brother impatiently as he starts,

“Well, MC came to me the other day after class. I knew something was wrong because there were tears in their beautiful eyes”, Asmo lays his hand across his forehead as if he were faint.

“Skip the dramatics and keep talkin’!”

“Okay, sheesh. So MC came to me and told me they haven’t been feeling very good lately.”

“What, are they sick or somthin’?”

“No no, nothing like that. More like, their brain feels sick? They said they don’t really know why, but they’ve been feeling bad about themselves lately - which I told them was totally ridiculous! AND I offered them a full makeover WITH facial and they denied it, but that always makes ME feel better.”

Asmo pouts before continuing, “Plus, with all the extra work Lucifer and Lord Diavolo have been giving them with the student council, they said they feel like they’re under so much pressure, they’re gonna crack soon.”

“Why ain’t they tellin’ me any of this!?”

“Because,” Asmo says annoyed, “they don’t want to upset you!”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”, exclaims Mammon.

Asmo matches his volume, “I know right?! That’s what I told them! But they said you were so excited about your date that they didn’t wanna ruin it- hey, where are you going!?”, Asmo yells as Mammon walks out of the room.

“Where’d ya think! I’m gonna go talk to MC!”, Mammon yells back.

So that’s why you weren’t there? You’ve been hurting? For awhile it seems, and you didn’t tell him?

He’s gotta admit, he’s a little hurt. But he knows this isn’t about him right now.

It’s about you.

Mammon didn’t know he would be nervous to see you until he was standing in front of your door. What if says the wrong thing and makes it worse? What if he can’t help you at all? What if he made you feel this way?

Okay. He realizes with that last one that he’s spiraling. Time to fix this.

He lifts a shaky hand to your door, knocking three times rhythmically - the one you know is his knock. And only his.

He cringes when he hears your weak voice choke out a small “come in”.

The room is dark; All the lights are out and it’d be pitch black save for the window next to your bed, illuminating your form, a shivering lump hiding under your blanket.

He lets out a sigh as he walks further in. He should have known about this. He should have been able to pick up on this. Boyfriend of the year, huh?

You sniffle as you pop your head out from under your hiding place.

“H-hey Mams”, you hiccup, giving away the tears that still stream down your face. “I-I’m sorry I ruined our date. I should have texted you, I-I just…”

Mammon walks till he’s leaning right over you, hands on his hips. “Uh-uh, I don’t care about that right now. What I do care about is you, mainly why didn’t ya tell me you were feelin’ like this before our date?”

The tone is his voice gives way to his own hurt, and you can’t help but start to cry again at the sound of it, knowing it’s your fault.

“Shh, shhh,” he quickly sits down on the bed next to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug. “I ain’t mad at ya or anything, I just wanna know why.”

He knows why; Asmo told him. But, he wants to hear it from you.

You pull your arm out from under the blanket (and Mammon’s hold) to wipe your face. “I’m fine really, it’s just”, you sniffle, but Mammon cuts you off.

“Ya clearly not, c’mon MC”, he says, oceanic eyes meeting yours and - it’s hard not to crack under that gaze. “Tell me what’s the matter, please.”

Mammon stares at you in silence, signaling that it’s your turn to talk, and he would quietly listen. As long as you trust him, he’d always listen to whatever it is you have to say, no matter what.

You sit up a little straighter, pulling your arm out from under the comforter to wipe your tears. Composing yourself, you look into his eyes. His face softens at the sight.

Clearing your throat you start, “I don’t know. I’ve just been so overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed with what? All that work Lucifer and Lord Diavolo keep pushin’ on you? Tell ‘em to shove it!”

You shoot him a dangerous look. “We both know I can’t do that.”

“Sure ya can, I do it all the time!”, Mammon proudly declares, making you smile brightly and chuckle.

“And you always end up hanging from the rafters”, you laugh.

“I never said I got away with it”, he replies, smiling just as brightly back.

Your giggle peters out as you begin to speak again. “I’ve got so much more work to do and so little time to do it”, you frown. “And I’ve been pushing myself really hard! And- I dunno. I guess it’s taking a toll on me.”

“Yeah, Asmo said you were havin’ it pretty rough.”

At the mention of Asmo’s name, you shoot upwards in shock.

“He told you?!”

“Course he did. Did ya forget which ones of us you can trust with secrets?”.

You grumble in anger. “That little - UGH! I’m gonna kill him.”

“Let’s put murder on the back burner,” Mammon says, pushing your shoulder to lay you back down in your slouching position. “How’s ‘bout ya tell me what’s really bothering’ ya and I’ll help ya threaten the primadonna later, yeah?”.

You give him the side eye, but collapse under his gaze. Curse those eyes! You swear he can put you under some kind of truth spell with those things.

“Fine. I guess… it’s just… I…”

“Any day now, Treasure.”

You make an exasperated noise and glare at him. “You know it’s not fair to use that word on me when I’m upset.”

“When you’re upset at me. And yer not upset at me right now, right? Please say right”, he finishes his sentence with a sense of urgency, now worried that he could be the cause.

He’s wracking his brain for anything he could have said or done recently that made you upset. Are you mad at him cause he teased you the other day when you did your makeup differently. He told ya he only did it cause he liked it. Are you mad because he cheated off of you in potions class? Well, he’s your first, dammit! You should be helping him anyways. That’s what a loyal subject does.

“No, no it’s not you. I just haven’t been feeling very good about myself lately.”

“What! That’s ridiculous!”, he shouts and - he’s trying to be helpful in his own way, but his raising voice makes you wince. He notices, quickly shifting his tone. “I mean, what’s there not to like, doll.”

You smile to yourself at the nickname. He’s trying his hardest to be sweet. You should try your hardest to let him in on your thoughts a bit too.

“I don’t like the way I look. I’m not pretty, I’m not cool, I don’t even know what you see in me.”

“Don’t be dumb, MC!”

“Mammon, look at you! You’re you. You’re one of the seven demon lords of hell, you’re a whole model, and you’re one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met - Devildom, Human Realm, or celestial! You know you’re hot, so I’m worried…”, you trail off quietly.

“Worried bout what, MC?”, he asks at your hesitance, worry evident in his eyes. He places his hand on top of yours on the bed without breaking eye contact.

“…I’m worried that one day you’ll realize you’re too good for me and leave.”

“Leave? Whaddaya talkin’ about? How would I leave? I live here too ya know”, he says, poking your nose.

“You know what I mean, Mammon”, you say swiping his hand away from your face. “You’ll leave me.”

Mammon rolls his eyes, waving a hand towards your direction dismissively. “Oh yeah, I’ll leave you alright. That’s exactly why I was waitin’ for ya at the door for an hour to take ya on a date. Cause I wanna leave ya soooo bad. Do ya see how ridiculous you sound?”.

You sigh, eyes looking towards the bedsheets as you play with his hand that has found its way back to yours. You don’t look up as you speak. “See, I didn’t even come down for our date. Or text you. I just moped around up here. Im a terrible partner. And I’m sure you’re gonna realize it soon.”

Mammon makes a ‘tch’ noise with his tongue, before grabbing you by the chin and making you look into his eyes, making you gasp in surprise.

“And ya think I’m such a great boyfriend, huh? I’m just the best? The guy who spends his free time at the casino runnin’ up scams? The guy who used ta blame his screw ups on ya to get outta trouble? Yeah MC, I’m a real peach. Cream of the crop if ya ask me”, he lectures, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What are you trying to say”, you question, grabbing his wrist to take his hand off your chin, to which he carefully obliges.

“I’m sayin’ that I’m not so great myself. But you still love me, right?

“Yeah, and?”

“Exactly. I’ve got flaws, we’ve all got flaws, even father had flaws, clearly”, he mumbles the last part under his breath.

“I wouldn’t stop lovin’ ya over any dumb thing like looks or status. In fact, I can’t think of a single reason why I’d stop lovin’ ya, ya dumb human. Sorry ‘boutcha luck, but yer stuck with The Great Mammon forever”, he jokes, ruffling your hair.

“What about when I die? I’m human, you’ll outlive me by a long shot. Don’t you want to be with someone, I don’t know, with the same…life span as you?”

“Nah, I’ll still love your dumbass skeleton when you’re a stupid ghost.”

“How romantic.”

“Listen. My point is I’m yours and you’re mine. That ain’t changin’, alright? And I’m not mad ‘bout our date, we’ll reschedule it. Just next time, ya could let me know before I stand by the front door for over an hour like a jackass. My brothers got enough to make fun of me over already.”

He pulls a little smile out of you with that last one.

“And about all that student council junk Lucifer and Lord Diavolo keep thrown’ on ya, I’ll talk to them. Maybe they’ll let you divide it up between all of us, alright?”.

You sniffle, wiping your face once more and shaking your head in an affirmative nod. “Sounds good. Thank you, Mams. I’m sorry.”

“C’mon now, quit yer apologizin’. It’s fine. You apologize for somethin’ like that again, I’m tellin’ Beel you ate his pudding from Madam Screams.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I’ll dare alright, ���n then some”, he jokes, tackling you to the bed. “Why don’t we watch a movie or somethin’. You gotta make up the lost date time you owe me.”

You laugh at his antics, agreeing. “Okay, okay. I’m on it.”

As you sit in front of your shared DVD collection to pick tonight’s selection, you throw your voice over your shoulder.

“Hey Mams?”

“Yeah?”, he asks from his spot on your bed, scrolling on his D.D.D.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, Treasure.”

[pickl-o]

What would The Sun, Refill Station and 57 Ball look like in human form??

here there are! tbh i might change how they look later

[countrymusiclover]

Gemini Runaway

"Being a twin of the Gemini Coven is a curse to never have children."

Raelyn Primrose Lane is on the run from her own family. She isn't trusting of anyone she comes in contact with all because she was forced to kill her twin sibling recently. Raelyn stumbles into the town of Mystic Falls and starts making friends. Alongside catching the eye of the original hybrid Klaus Mikaelson. Will Raelyn let Klaus in her heart or will her family manage to catch their traitor of a daughter

1 - Vow to never have Children

2 - Getting to know Him

3 - Original Vampires

4 - Blonde Friends

5 - A Hybrid's Offer

6 - Homecoming

7 - Abominations

8 - Date with an Original Hybrid

9 - Haunting Vengeance

10 - The Original Coffins

11 - Intense Family Reunion

12 - My First Friend

13 - The Mikaelson Ball

14 - Gemini Business

15 - Esther's Ritual

16 - You Only Live Once

17 - My Cousin Jo

18 - Tricky Witches Spells

19 - My Life Or Theirs

20 - One Last Hurrah

21 - The Ultimate Hunter

22 - Three Words Longed For

23 - The Bonds of Family

24 - The Sights of New Orleans

25 - A Dangerous Encounter

26 - A Coven’s Leader

27 - Dead or Alive

28 - The Miracle…Baby

29 - Sweet Vampire-Witch

30 - What's Wrong With Raelyn?

31 - Raelyn Let Loose

32 - Bringing Her Humanity Back

33 - Kol's Downfall

34 - Who Makes Him Human

35 - Finding the Cure

36 - Evening in the French Quarter

37 - A Harvest Ritual

38 - Davina - The Attic Witch

39 - Impatient Witches

40 - The Fate of Three Children

41 - Blood of Enemies

42 - Never Truly Gone

43 - A Magical Favor

44 - Papa Original and Confind Spaces

45 - Babies and a Ring

46 - Big Milestone and Mysterious Woman

47 - Proper Family Meeting

48 - Official Wedding Planner

49 - Uniting Friendships

50 - I Forever, I Do

51 - Our Secret Weapons

52 - Betrayal Can Come From Anywhere

53 - Dahlia's Offer

54 - Getting What They Deserve

55 - Vampires to a Witch Fight

56 - The Magical Border

57 - The Gemini Portland House

58 - Message For The Sire

59 - Red Head From His Past

60 - Sisterly Trio

61 - A Mikaelson Thanksgiving

62 - To Getting Rebekah Back

63 - Aurora's Revenge

64 - A Christmas Hex

65 - Vampire Camille

66 - Rescuing Klaus

67 - A Caring Vamp Sire

68 - King and Queen

69 - The Trial of Klaus Mikaelson

70 - Fighting the Magical Border

71 - Mikaelson’s before Gemini

72 - Kai's Message

73 - We're Screwed

74 - Gemini Fights and Supernatural Fates

75 - I Will Rescue You

76 - Moment of Peace

77 - The Horrific Merge

78 - Finally a Family Reunion

79 - A Long Awaited Evening

80 - One Day of Peace

81 - Gemini Downfall Wedding

82 - Finding the Heretics

83 - Heretics in Mystic Falls

84 - Meeting one of the Heretics

85 - Another Vampire Pregnancy

86 - Calling Us Home

87 - What's the Hollow

88 - Bloodline Deals

89 - The Last Remaining Gemini

90 - Parker/Lane Family Reunion

91 - A Family Dessert War

92 - Bye bye Hollow

93 - The End of Always and Forever

94 - Anything For Our Children- Flashback

95 - Running the School

96 - Family Troubles

97 - Unexpected Visitor

98 - The Family Falling Out

99 - Missing Coffins

100 - Not Little Girls Anymore

101 - Red Roses and Blood

102 - Owner of the Golden Coin

103 - A Rescuing Price

104 - Working through Changes

105 - Alina Mikaelson - Keener

106 - Changes under the Moon

107 - To Getting Elijah Back

108 - Like Father Like Daughters

109 - Always and Forever Lives On

---------- read part 100 to get the link to the next parts (you can only link 100 parts) 😢

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tag list ask to be added @dragonixfrye @secretdreamlandmentality @ocappreciation @ocappreciationtag @kmc1989 @tallrock35

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto liveblog, Ep 51-60

Ep 51:

-I really like Team 10 actually

-Choji’s human ball attack looks so slow lmao, the animation probably doesn’t do it justice

-welp rip Choji

-I can’t really take Kabuto seriously, idk why but I think it’s because his character design is so… underwhelming? Like his outfit is lame-looking (yes, I know it’s because he’s a spy or whatever) and he lacks any kind of intimidating or mysterious aura

-I fully believe that Naruto would get stomped by any one of the others who made it to the third round (except Dosu and maaaaybe Shikamaru depending on how hard he tries. Oh and also Temari because from what I’ve seen so far, I don’t believe the writer would let Naruto lose to a girl). I already know Naruto beats Neji, but I’m expecting a MAJOR asspull for that to happen

-Naruto says that Gaara took down Lee “without breaking a sweat”, which is like objectively untrue. Gaara definitely broke a sweat. He literally broke his fucking FACE

-oh my fucking god Konohamaru’s trainer is back???? I thought he was a one-off character lol

Ep 52:

-Kakashi I love you but the bar for being a better teacher than you isn’t that high

-Ebisu’s pompous-ass voice is so funny, it kinda reminds me of James from Team Rocket

-also Ebisu’s explanation of Naruto’s lack of chakra control has made me wonder again how the fuck Naruto mastered Shadow Clone jutsu in the first place. Like I get that he has inhuman levels of chakra, but that doesn’t matter if he doesn’t properly know what to do with it, right?????

Ep 53:

-d-did Naruto just stick his fingers up Ebisu’s butt

-we stan Naruto calling Jiraiya out on his bullshit

-I do like Jiraiya’s voice tho

-rip Ebisu

-instead of making a hundred comments about Jiraiya’s perviness, I’m just gonna say this: ew.

-oh Naruto you sweet innocent child

-NEVERMIND JIRAIYA GOT WORSE EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-I never want to see the fucking sexy jutsu ever again, Jesus fucking Christ

-so I realize that Naruto’s seal isn’t always visible, but how the hell did he never notice and question it before he was told about having the Nine Tails within him

Ep 54:

-oh Dosu is attacking Gaara? Yeah Dosu is about to die isn’t he

-Gaara’s voice is extra edgy in this episode lmao

-aaaaand Dosu is dead. Bro fucked around and found out

-I still can’t take Kabuto seriously as a villain

-damn shit is getting real

-I am so fucking uncomfy with these Jiraiya scenes

-Naruto summoning a tadpole was kinda funny ngl

Ep 55:

-literally all of Team 7 needs to go to mandatory therapy, INCLUDING Kakashi

-I love that Sakura is fully supportive of Lee after he defended her in the Forest of Death; her buying him a flower along with Sasuke was nice

-I’m not a fan of Ino’s bun

-Lee my poor sonnnnnn

-see Naruto and Jiraiya’s dynamic has funny moments sometimes but it’s hard to enjoy them with all the pervy shit thrown in

Ep 56:

-watching this is making me crave ramen

-Naruto going like 👉👈🥺 was really cute

-Jiraiya says that Naruto’s body is “too small a vessel” to contain the Nine Tails’s chakra, almost like they SHOULDN’T HAVE SEALED IT IN A FUCKING BABY

-I feel like we’re supposed to like the Hokage, which is making me doubt my distrust of him

Ep 57:

-I like the big toad’s voice

-ah yes gotta love having ninja child soldiers

-Naruto was gremlining so hard at the end of this episode lol

Ep 58:

-why is Gaara turning this episode into a whole-ass horror movie

-Naruto saying he has a demon inside him as a show of power while threatening GAARA of all people was pretty ironic

-Gaara really is just trauma dumping all over the place

-Naruto basically instantly recognizing the tragedy of Gaara’s situation speaks a lot to his empathy and was a surprisingly mature moment for him

Ep 59:

-I want ramen so baddddd

-I don’t know what Shikamaru’s mom looks like but her genes didn’t even try

-also shoutout to Ino’s dad and his slay-ass ponytail

-Naruto please learn some tact

-Akamaru continues to be the cutest little bean

-I feel like they only included the Konohamaru side quest to pad out this episode’s runtime

Ep 60:

-I’m glad that Kiba, Ino, and Sakura all don’t seem too bummed about the results of their preliminary matches

-welp Naruto is fucking pissed

-the Byakugan veins look so painful

-why doesn’t Naruto just summon the giant toad and make it squash Neji

-respectfully Naruto needs to learn another way of fighting besides just “spam clones”

[iamarealkat]

SECOND COURSE - KITCHEN

(or at least the main parts i recognized)

mads mikkelsen and lydia hearst for "euroman", april 2010 by kenneth willardt.

1. GE Monogram 36" Rangetop

First up, the rangetop. Unlike a cooktop, which sets into a pre-cut space in a counter or island, a rangetop overflows the sides and extends beyond the boundaries of the counter with front-facing knobs. This unit in particular is the GE Monogram 36" Rangetop (ZGU366NPSS), with an MSRP of $3400, reversible grates, and six 18,000 BTU power boil burners.

2. 30" GE Monogram Tri-Zone Counter Depth Integrated Refrigerator

Next, a dual installation of 30" GE Monogram Tri-Zone Counter-Depth Integrated Refrigerators (ZIC30GNHIl, shown with optional custom panels for seamless appearance). With an MSRP of $6999 each, these units are made more shallow, known in the industry as counter-depth, to integrate properly with standard cabinetry. Featuring fridge, freezer, and convertible middle-drawer climate zones, this unit has a capacity of 14.09 cu. ft. overall, per unit. It has two separate sealed systems for constant temperature control, and uses the first HFC-Free refrigerant, which has a lower global-warming impact.

3. 30" GE Monogram European Convection Double Wall Oven

A 30" GE Monogram European Convection Double Wall Oven (ZET2SHSS). An MSRP of $5300, with two 5.0 cu. ft. capacity oven cavities. With easy-to-clean all-glass interior door panels, both self-clean and steam-clean options, ten-pass baking elements, and two True European Convection ovens, these units boast convection bake and roast features with closed-door broiling as to not overheat a kitchen, and a built-in temperature probe for perfectly cooked roasts. It also offers a proof mode to assist dough-rising for avid bakers, convection conversion as to not overcook standard recipes, can be monitored remotely with use of a smart phone and GE's WiFi Connect app, and is programmable in both Celsius and Fahrenheit.

4. GE Monogram 240v Built In Oven with Advantium Speedcook Technology

Behold, the GE Monogram 240v Built In Oven with Advantium Speedcook Technology (ZSC2201JSS).

This bad chicken has an MSRP of $3200 and has settings for Speedcook, microwave, convection, and warming. What the hell is Speedcook? It's a combination of microwaves and convection, delivering results up to eight times faster than conventional cooking, and without the need for pre-heating. This thing can reheat, microwave, toast, brown, bake, and gently warm to your heart's content, and has the ability to remember custom recipes.

5. 30" GE Monogram Warming Drawer

Next up, the 30" GE Monogram Warming Drawer (ZW9000SJSS). With an MSRP of $1600, this drawer has a 1.9 cu. ft. capacity, and has variable temperature settings of anything from 75*F to 230*F, and humidity controls from crisp to moist. Gross. It also has a half-rack so you can store more on the inside, and has ball-bearing glides so it pulls out and closes smoothly while making that soothing whoosh noise.

6. 24" GE Monogram Undercabinet Wine Reserve

We also have the 24" GE Monogram Undercabinet Wine Reserve (ZDWR240HBS). With a cool MSRP of $2000, undercabinet wine refrigerators are notoriously tricky because of their front-facing venting needs. If you suffocate refrigerators, even small ones, (like humans) they die.

This fridge features cooling settings suitable to red or white wines, full-extension sliding racks with both horizontal and vertical storage, and has a capacity of 5.5 cu. ft, or 57 bottles.

Hannibal also, apparently, does not believe in dishwashers-panel-ready, drawer-style or otherwise.

What he does believe in? Is coffee, apparently:

7. Royal Paris Vacuum Balancing Coffee Siphon by Royal Coffee Maker

This, dear Fannibals, is a Royal Paris Vacuum Balancing Coffee Siphon, specifically noted by Bryan Fuller to be crafted by Royal Coffee Maker.

Handmade by artisans with affordable materials such as genuine Baccarat Crystal, malachite, copper, obsidian, azurite, and plating of silver and 24k gold, these start at the low, low price of approximately $15,500.

Hannibal's model is the Royal Classic finished in silver, on a Piano Black base. It is, perhaps surprisingly or unsurprisingly, the most tasteful and least ostentatious of all available models.

This brings the approximate total of all Hannibal's kitchen appliances, plus or minus a few of the minor ones, to $45,000.

8. Additionally in his stolen borrowed home in Florence: La Cornue 43" CornuFé Range

In 1908, in the heart of Paris, Albert Dupuy ignited the flame of elite cuisine. It was there that Dupuy premiered the world's first convection oven. At the time, most ovens were mere flat-topped cavities that held racks suspended over a fire. The majority of people simply considered cooking to be heating food to eat. But Dupuy pondered: "What does it really mean to cook?" He developed his oven with a vaulted ceiling to usher heat around the food, rather than trapping it to burn beneath. To enable optimum precision, the oven drew upon the city gas lines that were winding their way to homes and street lamps throughout the City of Light. Dupuy christened the oven La Cornue after the French term cornue - the system for refining the gas that warmed the new creation.

Each range is made by hand and the labor is intensive. Each worker is a specialist, understanding the greater goal.

However they are not just craftsmen, but companions to each range along its journey from inception to crated final product. They are experts in steel, copper and brass, inspired by great design, working as a team to create an inspired tradition.

True excellence can only be achieved when every step in the process is in pursuit of perfection.

For over 100 years, La Cornue has continued to build upon Albert's initial convection innovation and they've expanded the designs and introduced new styles. As a result, the name La Cornue is supposed to represent a renowned spirit.

Hannibal's version runs about $10,000.

[fanartandfanfiction]

The Saga of Meatball the snake, chapter 3

Ominis was half asleep when he heard his phone vibrate. He clumsily felt for it on the nightstand. Ominis had a special enchantment on his phone that allowed him to read text messages, and he was able to read books in a similar manner. He could also hold his wand to the phone to reply. 

 Melody 11:52 PM: Hey Ominis, it’s Melody. I know it’s late but you wanted me to let you know when I got back soooo

Ominis 11:53 PM: You’re just now getting back? 

Melody 11:53 PM: Yeeeeeah. There were a few more poachers than I was expecting 

Ominis 11:53 PM: Are you alright? 

Melody 11:54 PM: I am now. Got banged up quite a bit. Sharp helped me and gave me a lecture. 

Ominis 11:54 PM: I’m glad you were able to get help. Thanks for letting me know that you returned safely. 

Melody 11:54 PM: Right, it’s late, I’m probably keeping you up 😬 Sorry!

Ominis 11:55 PM: It’s alright, I was awake anyway. Sebastian’s snoring is comparable to a chainsaw. 

Melody 11:55 PM: Eh, hit him with a pillow, he probably deserves it 😊

Ominis 11:55 PM: I’m highly considering it. 

Melody 11:55 PM: So what did you do this evening? 

Ominis 11:56 PM: I’m afraid nothing quite as exciting as what you did. Just studied. I have a history of magic test coming up and that’s my worst subject. Mostly because I fall asleep. 

Melody 11:56 PM: Yes, I know, I sit right behind you 😝

Ominis 11:56 PM: Wait, are you serious? 

Melody 11:56 PM: Yeah, once Garreth and I spent the whole class seeing who could get more paper clips into the hood of your robe 🤣

Ominis 11:57 PM: That was you?!?

Melody 11:57 PM: Yeah. I won btw 😁

Ominis 11:57 PM: I didn’t find them until I took my robe off in the evening and they all fell out. 

Melody 11:58 PM: Don’t take it personally, we do it to Prewett in muggle studies. But that’s just because we like to piss him off

Ominis 11:58 PM: So you’re friends with Garreth? 

Melody 11:58 PM: Yeah, he’s my best friend, aside from Poppy. So I suppose he’d be my best Gryffindor friend? 

Ominis 11:59 PM: So is Sebastian your best Slytherin friend, then?

Melody 11:59 PM: For the moment, but he doesn’t have a cool snake, soooo 😝

Ominis 11:59 PM: You’ll be happy to know Meatball has talked about you constantly. He’s asked a dozen times if you’re coming to see him. 

Melody 12:00 AM: Guess I’ll have to come by more often 😉

Ominis 12:00 AM: I’ve told him repeatedly that your name is Melody, but he still refers to you as “the pretty human”

Melody 12:00 AM: Aaaaaw, sounds like Meatball is a little flirt!

Ominis 12:01 AM: I’m glad you brought him to me. It’s nice having a companion, though he wants to come to class with me. I told him no. 

Melody 12:01 AM: I would TOTALLY take him to class with me. That’s like, instant cool points. 

Ominis 12:01 AM: He’d be a distraction, constantly chattering away. Now I’m going to have another distraction, knowing you’re sitting behind me 

Ominis 12:01 AM: Because of the paperclips, I mean. 

Melody 12:02 AM: It’s not always paperclips. Sometimes it’s just little balls of paper

Ominis 12:02 AM: I’m going to start shaking my hood before I leave. 

Melody 12:02 AM: You’re adorable when you fall asleep, btw. I got up to sharpen my pencil and you had a little smile on your face. It was like, the only time I’d seen you smile. Mostly because whenever I was around you, you just glared at me 😝

Ominis 12:03 AM: I apologize again for acting coldly towards you. 

Melody 12:03 AM: It’s fine, seriously. I’ve gotta get some sleep, otherwise I’m gonna drop my phone on my face. Goodnight!

Ominis 12:03 AM: Goodnight Melody.

Ominis put his phone down with a smile. It was nice chatting with someone besides Sebastian. Sebastian’s snoring went up a decibel and Ominis hurled a pillow at him with surprising accuracy.

He heard the solid thump sound and “HEY!” As Sebastian got hit. 

“For god’s sake, would you turn the other way?! You’re going to suck the wallpaper off with your snoring!” 

“Sorry, crab-ass.” Sebastian rolled over and almost immediately began snoring again. Ominis sighed and buried his head under the covers, attempting to muffle the sound. It worked, and he finally drifted off to sleep. 

Ominis was already in his seat in history of magic when he heard Melody enter with Garreth. 

“Prewett’s asked me for the hundredth time for your phone number. You’ll be happy to know I didn’t give it to him.”

“Ugh. He can’t take a hint.” Melody grumbled as she sat down. 

“He’s not a BAD guy, just give him a chance.” 

“Nope.” 

“Why? Got your sights set on someone else?” 

Ominis’ ears perked up. “Maybe.” Melody answered coyly.

“Is it me?” Garreth asked. 

Melody sighed and sarcastically responded “yes, Garreth, it’s you. I’d like to throw you down on this desk right now and have my way with you.”

“I mean, it’s not the WORST idea, just maybe after class is over? OW!” Ominis heard a solid thump as Melody punched Garreth in the arm. 

“Morning, sleepyhead!” Melody tossed a paperclip at the back of his head. 

“Good morning.” He smiled. 

“I thought we usually waited until he was asleep to do that?” 

“Oh, I told him. It’s more fun if it’s a challenge.” 

“So Ominis, Melody said you have a snake?” Garreth asked. Ominis turned around to face them. 

“Yes, we rescued him. Did she tell you the delightful name she picked out?”

“No, what is it?”

“Meatball!” Melody said proudly.

“I love it.” 

“Hey Ominis, are you free tonight?” 

“I am, why?”

“I thought maybe we could hang out, do something fun.” Melody said.

“I think you’re just using me to get to Meatball.” Ominis smirked. 

“Damn, you saw right through me.” 

“I don’t have any plans, I’ll probably just be in my room studying.”

“Ok! I’ll come by later.”

“Hang on, are you saying all he had to do to get you in his bedroom was let you play with his snake? Wait, that sounded wrong.”

Professor Binns floated to the front of the classroom and asked them to pull out their textbooks. He began reading aloud in his dull, monotone voice, and Ominis was asleep in no time. He woke up when he felt a paperclip bounce off the back of his head. Binns was still droning on about a wizard rebellion, so Ominis pulled out his phone. 

Ominis 8:35 AM: I felt that.

Melody 8:35 AM: I aimed too high. The score is 10-8, I have the lead.

Ominis 8:35 AM: Are you telling me you’ve already thrown 18 paperclips into my hood?

Melody 8:36 AM: 19 now, I just scored another point 😀

“Alright class, let’s go view the portraits and statues in the hall. I want you to choose one and write a report on it.”

Ominis raised his hand. “Yes, Mr. Gaunt?”

“I’m unable to see the portraits, sir.”

“Very well, choose a partner to work with. Come along now.”

They all got up and Melody put a hand on his shoulder. “You were trying to get out of doing the report, weren’t you?”

Ominis smiled. “Perhaps. Now I need to find a partner who doesn’t mind being stuck with the blind boy.”

“Oh hush, I’ll be your partner. Come on, let’s go pick a weird one.” She looped her arm through his and they followed the trickle of students into the hallway. 

“I say we go for a statue, I’d rather not have to listen to one of the portraits tell me how great they were.” Melody said as they strolled along. 

“Agreed. Some of them are very pretentious.”

Melody described the various statues in the hall and asked Ominis his opinion. They ended up selecting a skull belonging to Grimbald Weft, a notable tailor. 

“I don’t think I’d be cool with my skull being displayed after I’m dead.” Melody said, examining it in the glass case. “What did they do with the rest of him?”

“Perhaps the skull was all they were able to recover.” Ominis replied.

“If they’re gonna display my bones, they’d better use the whole skeleton and put me in a fun pose or something.” 

“I think I’d just prefer to be buried.”

“Then I suppose you shouldn’t do anything to become famous! Because apparently, your bones go on display.”

They chatted for the rest of the class and Melody told him she’d come by later so they could work on their report. He heard Garreth speaking to her and she laughed, though he couldn’t hear what was said. He felt a hint of jealousy, which was ridiculous, he barely knew her. But still…

“Melody is coming by this evening.” Ominis said to Sebastian and Meatball.

“You two are really hitting it off!” Sebastian said with a grin.

“We’re partners on a report.”

“Sure, sure. Though the rumor through the grapevine is that she won’t be on the market much longer.”

“First of all, she’s a person, not a slab of meat on the market. And second, I don’t care.”

“I heard Prewett’s really trying to win her over.”

“She said this morning it was never going to happen.”

“I suppose we’ll see.” There was a knock on their door. “Come in!”

“Hey guys.” Melody said as she entered. “There’s my little Meatball!”

“There’s my favorite human!” 

“Excuse me?”

“What?” Melody asked. 

“He just referred to you as his favorite human.”

“Favorite GIRL human.” 

“Right, he’s trying to backpedal now.”

“And Meatball’s my favorite little snake!” She scooped him up out the terrarium and snuggled him, loudly kissing the top of his head. Meatball’s tongue flicked happily.

“Melody, while you’re giving it away over there, how about some love for your favorite Slytherin?” Sebastian asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Terribly sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel left out. Hewwo my wittle Sebastian!” She spoke in a baby voice and pinched his cheek. 

“Are we still going to Hogsmeade this weekend or has Prewett swept you off your feet yet?”

“How did you hear about that?” Melody asked as she sat beside Ominis and crossed her legs, their knees touching.

“The good ol’ Hogwarts rumor mill. So are you going out with him?”

“I don’t know. He’s awfully persistent. I suppose he really likes me.”

“You can do much better than Prewett.” Sebastian said.

“Oh yeah?” She asked playfully. 

“Um, hello! I’m sitting right in front of you. Your knight in shining armor awaits!”

“Please, you’re my dumbass in tin foil.”

Ominis laughed out loud and Sebastian glared. “Woooow. Hurtful. I see whose side you’re on, Ominis!” 

“You are correct.” He replied with a smile.

“Well, I’m going to go take my wounded heart elsewhere while you two work on your report. I heard Lenora Everleigh is single now. Did you put in a good word for me?”

“I put in A word.” Melody replied. “Stop poaching my friends, can’t you go find a Slytherin girl?”

“I could, but I have a weakness for Hufflepuff women.” Sebastian winked and Melody rolled her eyes. “Alright, later guys.” 

After Sebastian left, Melody nudged Ominis’ shoulder. “I warned her in advance so she could hide.”

Ominis chuckled. “He’s not a bad guy.”

“No, he’s not, but I know he likes to see how many notches he can get on his headboard and I’d prefer my friends not to be among them.” 

“That’s understandable. Ready to start on our report?”

“I suppose. How long does it have to be?”

“At least three pages.”

“Oh COME ON!” She groaned. 

They worked for an hour before Melody dramatically collapsed beside him. “I’m dead, Ominis. I’ve died of boredom.”

“Terrible, you were so young.” He smirked. 

“Come on, let’s take a break and do literally anything else.” 

“What do you want to do?”

“What do you like to do for fun?” 

“I’m afraid I’m quite boring. I enjoy reading, going for a stroll, listening to music…”

“That’s not boring!” Melody said. 

“There’s also a game I used to play with Sebastian and Anne. It’s kind of silly, but fun.”

“Let’s do it! What is it?” 

“We’ll have to go somewhere quiet and spacious. I know a place.” 

“Let’s go!” Melody grinned. 

“Go on, Meatball, back to your home.”

“Aaaaaaaw.” 

“Sorry, it’s no place for a snake, you could get lost.”

“Where exactly are we going?” Melody asked.

“You’ll see.” Ominis said with a sly grin.

“Welcome to the undercroft! It’s a secret place, only Anne, Sebastian, and myself know about it. And now you.” 

“Woah! No one else knows this is here?”

“No, it was a secret passed on to me from my family. I spend a lot of time here, it’s nice and quiet.”

“And kind of creepy. You guys never thought to put any lights or furniture in here?”

“I guess not, we used to just sit on blankets or something.” 

“So what’s this game?”

“It doesn’t have a specific name. But you’ll get an understanding of how I live. You’ll put this blindfold over your eyes and attempt to locate me using your other senses.” 

“Sounds easy enough!” 

“We’ll see about that.” He pulled a blindfold out from his pocket. “May I?”

“Sure.” Melody walked over to him and turned around, and he slid the blindfold over her eyes and tied it on.

“This is wonderful if you suffer from migraines. Blocks out all the light.” 

“I get dreadful migraines. Wow, I really can’t see anything!” 

“And the game begins.” Ominis said, further away than she expected. 

“How are you so quiet?!”

“I can be very stealthy.” He said, suddenly behind her. She turned to grab him and he was gone. “Come on, are you even trying?”

“Ok, this is more difficult than I anticipated!” 

“Use your other senses.” Ominis said, tapping her shoulder. 

“Ugh!” Melody closed her eyes under the blindfold. If she stopped straining to see, she could focus on her other senses. She faintly smelled his cologne and stepped in that direction. She heard a quiet rustle of fabric and turned around. She froze and listened for the slightest sound. When she got a much stronger whiff of his cologne, she turned around and lunged at him.

He was closer than she’d anticipated and she slammed into him, knocking him backwards. She thought they were going to fall, but she felt Ominis’ strong grasp on her and they stayed upright.

“You’re not very graceful, are you?” He asked with a smirk. 

“Smart ass!” She laughed. Her hands were resting on his chest and his hands still rested on her waist. She tipped her head upwards and felt for his face. “I never realized how much taller than me you are!”

“Is that why you’re squeezing my nose?” He asked in a slightly muffled voice.

“Yep. How tall are you?”

“6 feet.” 

“Ugh.”

He patted the top of her head. “Look at you, so short. What are you, 5’3?”

“5’4, thank you very much!” She brought her hands down from his face and felt his shoulders.

“What are you doing?” He asked with a small smile.

“Trying to see like you do. Of course I know what you look like, but I’m trying to see if I can figure it out.” 

He stood still as she patted his shoulders and arms. Her hands went back up to his face. “Yep, I can tell. Same cocky smile. I don’t have to see you to know you’re smirking at me, you’re an excellent smirker, you know that?” 

“Is that a word, smirker?” His grin widened. 

“Stop it! Now you’re smiling even more!”

“Are you done molesting my face?” 

“Nope.” She squeezed his cheeks with her hands. She moved them up the side of his head and he closed his eyes as her fingers flitted across them. “You have obnoxiously long eyelashes, it’s terribly unfair. They’re better than mine. And these eyebrows are so often turned down into a glare or frown.” She gave his cheeks one last playful squeeze for good measure. “Ok, now I’m done.”

Ominis cleared his throat nervously. “Would it be alright if I felt what you looked like? You can say no if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Nope, feel away! You know, I don’t usually say that to a boy.” She took his hands and placed them on the sides of her face. “I’m going to take the blindfold off for now so you feel around better.” 

She was surprised at how bright the room seemed after having the blindfold on. She was also surprised at how close she was to Ominis. She watched his face as he gently moved his hands across hers. He had a small smile on his face as he did so. 

“Let’s see here…what a tiny nose you have! High cheekbones…your lashes seem long to me, but I suppose I wouldn’t know.” He ran his thumb across her lips. “I expected your mouth to be much larger, the way I’ve heard you shout and swear. You’re quite loud.”

“Rude!” She pouted. 

“Now you’re pouting. I didn’t mean offense, just that you’re one of those people that doesn’t hide in the shadows. You’re bold and fiery.”

“Are you describing me or a Taco Bell sauce packet?”

Ominis laughed, a delightful, full on laugh, not his usual polite chuckle. 

He reached around and felt her hair. He started at the top and ran the strands through his fingers. “Your hair is quite long. It’s very soft, and has a hint of vanilla?” 

“I suppose that’s my shampoo. I don’t know, I’ve never sniffed my own hair. Lean down.” She pulled his head down and pressed her nose against his hair and gave an exaggerated sniff. “Mhm, mhm, lovely, yes.”

“Oh? What’s it smell like?”

“I don’t quite know how to describe it. Let me sniff again.” He laughed as she jerked him downward. “I’m not good with smells. I know it smells manly and expensive.” She was sniffing his hair again when the door to the undercroft opened. Melody hadn’t noticed and Ominis was attempting to straighten up but she wouldn’t let him. “I’m not done yet, let me smell you!”

“Hello Melody. Watcha doing?” Sebastian asked with a grin.

“Oh, hello! Trying to decide what Ominis’ hair smells like.”

“Ok…why?”

“Why not?”

“Would you let go of my hair now?” Ominis asked, still partially bent over with Melody’s hand grasping his hair.

“Fine, but it’ll come to me at some point.” She let him go and then snickered. “I didn’t know your hair could stand up like that!” 

“Yes, well, someone was ruffling it up.” He pulled a comb out of his pocket and attempted to smooth his hair back down. 

“Sooooo Melody knows about the undercroft now?”

“Yes. We were taking a break from working and I told her about the game we used to play. She wanted to try it, so I brought her here.”

“It is NOT as easy as it seems. Would you just let me fix it?!” Melody snatched the comb from his hand. “Lean down, you jolly green giant.” 

Sebastian watched with an amused expression. “How’d it go? Did you catch him?”

“Yes, but it was difficult!” 

“She pounced on me.” Ominis smirked as Melody combed his hair. 

“How did it go with you? Did you pester my friend?” Melody asked, forgoing the comb and attempting to style Ominis’ hair in a mohawk. 

“I thought you were fixing it?!”

“I am, I’m making you look cool.”

Sebastian smiled at his two friends. “I struck out.”

“I’m shocked.” Melody said with a smirk. 

“I suppose I’ll just set my sights on another Hufflepuff bachelorette.” Sebastian wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“In your dreams.”

“You already are, love!” He wrapped his arms around her and made dramatic smooching noises. 

“Put me down, you oaf!”

Though Ominis couldn’t see them, he felt a flutter of jealousy. He wasn’t sure why, she was friends with Sebastian first and closer to him. 

“You know what, I want to play too for old time’s sake!” Sebastian grinned. “I’ll take the blindfold.”

Ominis handed it to him and he tied it on. “Alright, spread out!”

It was silent in the undercroft, but Melody knew her shoes would give her away so she slid them off and walked around in just her stockinged feet. She froze as Sebastian turned towards her. “You’re quite terrible at this, Mel!”

Suddenly, she was yanked backwards just as Sebastian lunged for the spot she’d been standing in. Ominis held a finger up to his lips and smiled. 

“Damn! You’re around here somewhere!”

Ominis took a small object out of his pocket and tossed it across the room, making a quiet thud.

“GOTCHA!” They watched as Sebastian lunged at nothing. And Melody was trying to suppress her laughter. “Are you guys still here?”

She watched Ominis walk silently up to him and whisper “Yes” behind his ear, making Sebastian jump. 

“I bloody hate it when you do that!”

A small giggle escaped and Sebastian whipped around towards her. “Now I’ve got you!”

She started walking backwards and crashed into a rusty cauldron, making a loud metallic noise. Sebastian lunged forward and she ran, causing him to stumble.

She jumped when Ominis grabbed her wrist. He tugged her along with him and into a corner of the room. He pushed her into the corner and she was surprised, thinking he was about to kiss her. Instead he just held a finger to his lips before quietly stalking away.

Melody watched him creep up right behind Sebastian and yank the blindfold off. “You’re terrible at this game.” 

“That’s because you have the stealth of a bloody panther!”

“Melody, would you like to go again?” He extended the blindfold with a smirk. 

“I’ll give it my best shot.” She turned around for Ominis to tie the blindfold on her. “Alright, let’s go!”

She was pretty much instantly able to find Sebastian, his breathing seemed quite loud in the quiet room. She tackled him with a triumphant cheer and he swore. “Alright, just me and you, Ominis!”

She could hear nothing but Sebastian’s loud breathing and her own heartbeat. Then she heard it, the sound of a small object thudding on the ground. Instead of turning towards the noise she wheeled around backwards and lunged. Ominis hadn’t been expecting her this time and she took them both to the ground. 

 He landed on his back with a solid thump and she landed on top of him. They were both laughing and she took her blindfold off. His eyes were so pretty, especially when they were full of happiness and laughter like this. She found herself wanting to touch his face and trace the pattern of his moles like a constellation. They both stopped laughing and they were looking at each other. Despite Ominis’ blindness, he met her gaze with accuracy.

“Would you two like me to leave, or would you like to get off of Ominis?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. 

“Sorry Ominis! Did you get hurt?” Melody got off of him and asked.

“Just bruised my ego.” He smiled. 

“You guys wanna do something? Or are you going back to work on your paper?”

“Ugh. I really don’t want to. It’s not due for a bit, I say we hang out. But I am BEGGING YOU to let me conjure some furniture down here. I know it’s your space and if you say no that’s fine, but do you really want to keep sitting on the floor?” Melody asked Ominis.

“I have no objections. Sebastian?”

“Go for it.” 

“Excellent!” Melody grinned and set to work. 

Sebastian walked over to Ominis and spoke quietly. “I’m shocked you brought her down here. You’d have my head if I did that.” 

“I think we can trust her to keep the secret.”

“I’m actually surprised you’ve warmed up to her as quickly as you have. You’re usually quite the grump. Or perhaps it’s her feminine wiles that have changed your tune?”

“Or it’s the fact that she adores Meatball and she’s a lovely person that I get along with.” 

“Where is the little scaly cretin?”

“I left him upstairs. I didn’t want him to get lost or hurt down here.”

“So it wasn’t to be alone with Mel?”

“Would you let it go?!” 

“Fine, fine, I’m just saying, she seems to fancy you, and-“

“Fancy me? What do you mean?” Ominis asked quickly.

“I mean she likes you, likes being around you. She’s a lovely girl and if you wanted a girlfriend-“

“Drop it.”

“Fine. Woah!” Sebastian looked up and grinned.

“What?”

“It’s like a new place! There’s comfortable sofas, a nice rug, a FIREPLACE, how did she conjure a fireplace?!”

“Well?” Melody asked with a grin.

“Mel, this looks fantastic!” Sebastian grinned back.

“I’ll have to take Sebastian’s word for it.” Ominis said with a small smile. 

“You may not be able to see it, but I know you’ll feel the difference!” She grabbed his hand and brought him over to the sofa. “Go on, sit down.” 

Ominis sat and smiled at her. “Much better than the floor!”

“See? You don’t have to live like cavemen down here.” She plopped down beside him on the couch with her legs crossed and her knee was touching his. 

“Mel, will you do that thing with my hair?” Sebastian asked. 

“Again?”

“Come on, I’m heartbroken!”

“Over what? You didn’t even care about her until you found out she was single!”

“Please?” He pouted.

“Fine, get over here you big baby.” 

“What do you do with his hair?” Ominis asked. 

“Mostly just twirl it around my fingers. Sometimes I make tiny braids. I did it for him once when he was upset and now he pesters me all the time.”

Sebastian sat on the ground in front of her with a satisfied smile. “I should put you to work painting my toenails while I do this. You know what? This is your last free one. After this it’ll cost one pedicure.”

“Do you really want me to paint your nails?” He smirked. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have the lightest touch.”

“I’m aware.” She began working her fingers through his hair. “My mother used to do this to me when I was upset. It always felt so good.”

“It does.” Sebastian leaned back against her. “So did you give this weekend any more thought?”

“I’d like to go but I don’t want to impose.” 

“The weekend?” Ominis asked. 

“I think Mel and Anne would get along great, and Anne would love to meet a new girl her age. I invited Melody to come to Feldcroft with me this weekend. I would’ve invited you but we don’t have that much room.”

Ominis didn’t like the idea of them going away for the weekend together. “I’d like to visit Anne too. What if I rented us a cottage? Would you be comfortable with that, Melody?”

“Sure! Sounds fun.” 

“Are you sure Ominis? It’ll be expensive.”

“It’s my parents’ money, I’m happy to spend it.” 

“Then we’re going on a trip this weekend! You can even bring Meatloaf.”

“Meatball!” Melody yanked his hair.

“Ow!”

“He’s my Meatball, my precious boy, and little angel.” 

“Mel, you’ve known Meatball for like, two days.”

“So? He’s a special boy and I love him.”

“He’s enamored with you.” Ominis said with a small smile. 

“I think I’m going to get him a little hat.” 

“Why?” Ominis asked.

“Because I think he’d look dapper.”

“Can a snake look dapper?” Sebastian asked. 

“Meatball can. He’s special.”

(P.S. I bet none of you picked up on the fact that my main character is named Melody Carlisle, or MC :D )

[mcondance]

mcondance 2024

* = 1k words or close, + = favs / personal best, bold = … something idk

january

1. 6 stu likes disgusting you

2. 8 twin xl. tim laflour

3. 12 human nature. richie jerimovich+

4. 15 stu has a thing for the sting of your hand+

5. 16 nite and day. fontaine*

6. 20 throat fucking w/ fontaine

7. 20 fontaine's deep strokes+

8. 20 big dick fontaine+

9. 21 backshots w/ fontaine

10. 21 hobie's skinny, but he's strong

11. 22 hush baby. william afton

12. 23 gunplay w/ fontaine

february

13. 7 stu's handsy

14. 12 dad!bf spencer shay+

march

15. 3 stu's a freak

16. 5 dorm sex w/ tim laflour

17. 7 fontaine has trick tendencies

18. 11 enraptured. spencer reid

19. 13 pretty brown eyes (quit breakin' my heart). spencer reid*

20. 15 s1 spencer's a good fuck, despite his outward appearance+

21. 16 two fingers and tongue combo w/ spencer reid

22. 19 office pussy w/ aaron hotchner and spencer reid

23. 20 degradation + dirty talk elaboration w/ spencer reid and aaron hotchner

24. 21 southern fantasy. aaron hotchner*+

25. 23 hotch wants a little peek under your skirt at the club

26. 24 hotch builds a vanity for office pussy!reader, then fucks her on it

april

27. 1 spencer kisses overbearingly deep

28. 7 luxurious. spencer reid

29. 10 blackout w/ jennifer jareau+

may

30. 12 say yes (please?). peter quill

31. 22 "till the room stinks." patrick zweig

32. 24 patrick pushes your face into his balls

33. 25 sitting on patrick zweig's face, l

34. 25 sitting on patrick zweig's face, ll

35. 25 "just the tip." patrick zweig

36. 29 bubble pop electric. spencer reid

june

37. 14 makin' love, in between the sheets. aaron hotchner

38. 19 aaron's never been the vulnerable type. but you.

39. 28 richie calls you princess when you've got a mouth full of his dick+

july

40. 2 soft kisses on some fat lips. aaron hotchner

41. 2 richie loves eating you out

42. 10 tdk!joker doesn't love you. but he fucks you like he does+

43. 12 sleepy hotch wants you to stay in bed with him+

44. 25 stu knows when you can't take it. and right now, you can

45. 29 angel of small death. billy loomis*

46. 30 sundress quickie w/ luke alvez

august

47. 8 strength kink, choking, and prone bone w/ luke alvez

48. 9 when we're makin' love. luke alvez

49. 9 in the low lamp light. luke alvez+

50. 10 the way. luke alvez

51. 10 luke's obsessed with how you take it

52. 11 miss her the most. luke alvez

53. 15 me and my valentine, we ain't got no place to go. luke alvez

54. 21 sunlight. spencer reid

55. 25 knowing better, twisted pleasure. spencer reid

56. 29 prone bone w/ luke alvez

57. 29 lovely. spencer reid*+

september

58. 1 an “i love you” that isn’t words. spencer reid*+

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #57: FAMILY REUNION

April, 1990

Wow, the Avengers got wrecked. Sucks to suck.

Also. Hm. Magneto has an M on his chestplate. Wanda has a W broach holding her cape. No wonder Quicksilver is the unfavorite of the family. Where's your Q? Get with the program, nerd.

Last times in Avengers West Coast: a lot.

To make a long story short, bad things kept happening to Wanda and she went catatonic. Magneto raptured her and her house into space and then did SOMETHING and now Wanda is a card-carrying supervillain all cackling. Her new, evil outfit is a good look for her though.

Wanda killed and then unkilled Wonder Man and then tortured him a little in an unclear way to mock his love for her. She captured US Agent and Agatha Harkness and Wasp. And when Hank Pym tried to stop Wanda, Quicksilver showed up and super speed punched him a lot.

Also, the Avengers are getting evicted or something? It's a baffling plot point since they own, not rent.

Quicksilver asks Magneto if he should just kill Hank Pym while he's unconscious.

Magneto: "Stay your hand, Pietro. Dr. Pym presents no threat in his condition. And there has been enough bloodshed. No need to take a life when it is not absolutely necessary." Scarlet Witch: "You disappoint me, father. Is this the same Magneto who once led us in such glorious battle against the humans?"

New evil Wanda has decided she's going to be the one to chant "kill kill kill" in Magneto's ear. What a weird dynamic.

Floating uselessly around, the Avengers and Agatha Harkness have their own thoughts about this mess.

Agatha wishes she had known earlier that Wanda was headed this way, so she could have tried to steer her away from it.

I don't know if you get to say that, considering your idea of sparing her distress is to wipe her mind.

US Agent just thinks that Wanda must be using magic because probability manipulation wouldn't be able to make the Avengers float in a force field.

You say that but it's not very probable, is it?

Wasp is sad because she thought Hank was going to be her knight in shining armor, not get immediately wrecked before accomplishing anything. Also, she didn't expect Quicksilver to show up or be a dick still.

Didn't you? The last time the Avengers saw Quicksilver, he was part of that whole thing with Hank Pym's old villains. Sure, Quicksilver showed up in the Fantastic Four Evolutionary War tie-in and wasn't a dick but I don't know if the Avengers know about that. The Inhumans aren't big into sharing news.

And Wonder Man wishes he could muscle out of the force field... and hug Wanda.

Even after that vague something she did to torture him, he still has it bad for her. The poor dolt.

Meanwhile, outside, Robot Human Torch Jim Hammond gets an emergency signal beeping on his wrist and drops the eviction subplot for now to go investigate.

He finds a big hole in the south wall of Scarlet Witch's cottage so he crashes through the north wall.

They'll never expect that!

Robot Human Torch: "Flaming fireballs! I don't know the two men, but you... lady, you look like the Scarlet Witch! But... how could that be??"

It's called a change of clothes and a haircut, Jim.

Wanda tells Jim she brought him (back) into this world and she can take him out. She gathers green magic balls around her hands but

Quicksilver shoves her, interrupting her magicing.

He says that Wonder Man was about to break free and attack her, which Wonder Man is frankly baffled by because he wasn't and wouldn't.

Robot Human Torch Jim Hammond doesn't really care what they're talking about. He just thinks people talk too much in the future.

He creates a fire cage around Wanda, Magneto, and Quicksilver. To distract them so he can try and free the Avengers and also Agatha.

Wanda could think that cage away but Magneto can also magnet it away.

And with a gesture he rips up a chunk of the floor.

OF THE NON-METALLIC FLOOR.

And shoots him and the family (barring retcons) into the sky.

Leaving the Avengers a bit nonplussed.

And leaving the cottage a bit destroyed.

The Avengers just can't have nice things in this era. They're always blowing up or crashing or sinking.

Wonder Man wants to fly after Wanda but Hank stops him. It'd be dumb to fly after MAGNETO and REALITY WARPER WANDA without a plan.

Also, Hank is fine. Pietro didn't actually hit him that hard.

Robot Jim Hammond goes look into the sky! It's a metallic bird, it's a plane! It's Iron Man!

Last issue, Iron Man responded to the emrgency beacon by turning right around and flying back to the Avengers West Coast Compound.

And now he's arrived.

He spots Magneto, Quicksilver, and a woman who looks like Wanda with a new haircut and wardrobe on a flying chunk of non-metallic floor.

Tony wants to believe in his friend because she's been a superhero for years but he has to concede to himself that Wanda doesn't seem to be resisting Magneto...

But he doesn't shoot first.

Maybe because Wanda spots him first and alerts Magneto. Or maybe because Nice Tony who didn't want to kill a monster in Acts of Vengeance doesn't think violence solves all his problems.

Magneto tells Iron Man to fuck off because Magneto business is none of Iron Man's business, even if Magneto and Iron Man's 'predecessor' fought in the past.

Because Iron Man faked his death and then introduced a 'new' Iron Man.

Iron Man points out that he doesn't know what Magneto is up to but there was an emergency signal from the Avengers West Coast Compound and Magneto is flying from that direction.

Looks suspicious, y'know?

Magneto, escalating things: "You make me sad, Iron Man. My purpose in life is the preservation of mutantkind, not the destruction of humanity. But if you insist upon placing yourself in the status of an enemy... as an enemy you shall be treated!"

Then he magnets Iron Man.

It's an easy joke that Magneto could solo the Avengers because he's a powerful villain and also he could just squish Iron Man into a ball.

Except. Tony Stark ain't no dummy.

He built anti-magneto defenses into his armors after the last time Iron Man tangled with Magneto.

Which is apparently a 'demagnetizing agent' added to the ferrous polymers.

Not entirely sure how that works but anyway, Iron Man is not magnetic.

Then Wanda gestures at Iron Man and all the automatic systems in the armor fail because he may have created contingencies for fighting Magneto but how do you create contingencies for reality warping?

(If that's even still what Wanda has going on? She describes it as just her usual hex power. And the floating and being held in place was described as magic. Is Byrne backing off on the reality warping thing after realizing that it made Wanda basically unbeatable except by author fiat? Maybe. Who knows! It doesn't matter! This is his last issue!)

With all the systems in his suit failing at once, Iron Man plummets out of the sky.

Quicksilver belatedly tries to tell her they should have captured him, not killed.

Hmm.

And Magneto muses on the irony that Iron Man's own anti-magnetic defenses now stop Magneto from saving him from death.

Magneto: "But... your newfound ruthlessness troubles me, daughter. When it is the fiery Quicksilver who concils caution in the Scarlet Witch, there is much to ponder!" Scarlet Witch: "You would be well advised not to question my actions, Magneto. I am no more the timid child you once recruited to your band of felons! As you have changed, so too has the Scarlet Witch!"

Okay, but what the fuck happened between them in space?

Whatever Magneto did, Wanda snapped out of her catatonia and into such villainous villainy that Magneto and Quicksilver are uncomfortable with it.

This is a major character shift for Wanda and it happened off-panel. I'm so annoyed by that.

Back at the Avengers West Coast Compound, the Avengers gather in the meeting room and I'm thrilled there's an establishing shot of the estate.

Hank tells the Avengers (West Coast) that they can't directly confront Wanda "as long as [she] thinks she's one of the bad guys again."

So they'll need to go in all sneaky.

Wonder Man brings up that Magneto is presenting himself as a hero lately and US Agent takes issue with that.

And is the third superhero I know of that compares Magneto to Hitler.

US Agent: "Hitler probably never doubted the correctness of his actions either, Williams. And even though Magneto claims to have been a victim of that particular nightmare, it's never stopped him from carrying out a campaign of murder and terror against innocent civilians. There's the blood of hundreds, maybe even thousands on his hands, and nothing that will ever wash that away!"

It's weirdly common.

Anyway. Hank doesn't engage with any of that. Just tells Wonder Man to go get a Quinjet ready.

And Hank seems to have some thoughts about Pietro but he's unwilling to voice them until he's sure the Avengers aren't being monitored by Magneto.

Good point. How the hell did Magneto find out about Wanda being catatonic?

So Hank just tells Wasp he wants Quicksilver captured alive!

Wasp: "Well, sure. That goes without saying, doesn't it?"

Ah, more innocent times.

The Avengers pile into a Quinjet and flyyyyyy in pursuit of Wanda, Magneto, and Quicksilver.

And those three are headed towards the new, improved Asteroid M.

Professor X and Magneto really are egomaniacs.

Xavier can swear up and down the X-Men are named for having something X-tra in their genes, but we all know he just loves slapping his initial on everything.

And Magneto may say that Astroid M stands for Mutants but we all know it's Asteroid Magneto.

Wanda and Pietro ask Magneto about rumors that he's with the Hellfire Club these days. Magneto says, yeah, sure, but he still wants an asteroid headquarters.

He likes looking down on the world.

Magneto says that while looking down on the world, he noticed all of Wanda's travails, like losing her husband and children.

So I guess Wanda's baby mind-wipe got undone if Magneto is casually talking about it.

Wanda says that "it was a time of tempering, a fire in which my steel was reforged and made stronger."

Like I said last issue, YOU'D REALLY THINK WANDA GOING EVIL WOULD HAVE MORE TO DO DIRECTLY WITH THE BAD SHIT THAT'S BEEN GOING ON.

But I guess not. Or she's lying to herself.

Meanwhile, Iron Man crash lands through a condo right when some guy was putting the moves on his female companion.

It was an exact words situation. Wanda's tricky magic probability reality manipulation shut down all the automatic systems in Iron Man's armor. So he was still able to manually activate the emergency parachute.

And the property damage cushioned the rest of the fall.

IN FAIRNESS, he does tell the guy to contact Tony Stark for compensation.

Tony is pretty good at paying for the damage that Tony Stark does. And, apparently, the Hulk.

Deadpool used to tell people to claim any damage he caused by filling out the form and checking the box that says Hulk damage.

That rascally Deadpool.

Anyway, up in space, the Avengers. They park the Space Quinjet a little away from Asteroid M and turn on stealth.

... Can't Magneto sense metal?

Oh well.

Wasp is sent in to scout the situation out.

And I guess somebody poked John Byrne and told him that Wasp's characterization has moved on since the 60s because she has this whole internal monologue about how she's not a silly teenager anymore and that she's been doing the Wasp thing her entire adult life.

Well, I'm glad that somebody poked John Byrne and told him that.

She's determined that they save Wanda from getting drawn into Magneto's nonsense when she's already been through so much.

Robot Human Torch Jim Hammond is the new Guy Whose Politics Are Decades Out of Date because he worries about sending a Girl off alone.

Get yourself some respect for Wasp, you.

But Hank Pym has his old Ant-Helmet and Wasp has her old Wasp antenna and they can communicate with each other through them without using normal communication channels because it's apparently a bio-frequency.

Wasp sneaks into Asteroid M through a waste gas dispersal tube. Once inside, she reports that she's in a service corridor, mentions seeing something moving, and then goes radio silent.

Since the only thing that could block the signal is if Wasp lost consciousness, the Avengers assume she was captured and leap into action.

Even Robot Human Torch Jim Hammond gets to join as the Avengers fly through space because hank brought oxygen webbing based on Reed Richards' design for Human Human Torch Johnny Storm.

It carries (generates?) enough oxygen for Jim to flame in space for half an hour.

It's actually funny how much the issue sweats the minutiae.

Wasp mentions when she's flying to Asteroid M that she's using a jetpack instead of her wings, Jim gets the oxygen webbing to let him do his thing and side-eyes older stories that depicted him flaming in space, and Hank mentions that the Ant-Helmet has airtight seals and his red 'i'm not wearing a superhero costume, I swear' jumpsuit has a force field built in for space stuff.

Anyway, they fly over to the Asteroid M and Wonder Man punches a big hole in it.

And yup, Magneto can sense metal doing stuff because punching a big hole in the hull let him know exactly where the Avengers were coming from.

Also, he has Wasp.

Most uncool. There's not even airholes in that jar.

The movement she saw was apparently a service robot, which alerted Magneto, who conked her out and put her in a jar.

Anyway, Magneto immediately ties up US Agent with scraps of metal from the hull.

Robot Human Torch flies to confront Magneto but Scarlet Witch is also here and she goes through with her threat to unresurrect Jim.

The robot Human Torch just kind of drops dead.

I would say he'd be missed but I'm not really sure why he was even here. He never does anything.

Magneto reiterates returns the jar of Wasp to Hank.

AND THEN YOINKS THE QUINJET THROUGH THE HULL, DISASSEMBLES IT, MAKES AN ORB AROUND THE AVENGERS, AND YEETS THEM BACK TO EARTH.

What a dramatic way to tell someone to get off your space property.

The Avengers just can't have nice things like headquarters or Quinjets...

Wanda yells for Magneto to kill them while they're helpless.

Magneto: No, Wanda, no."

Considering how much more bloodthirsty she's become than him, I once again wonder WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED when Magneto yoinked catatonic Wanda into space.

We may never know. This is John Byrne's last issue on the book.

He wasn't fired but he did ragequit.

All the Immortus subplot scenes were building up to a storyline where Immortus uses Wanda's reality manipulation powers to create some kind of sacred timeline that he rules over.

Byrne suggested this to editor-in-chief Tom DeFalco to be the next big Marvel event.

All the books would change to a new timeline where Kang beat the Avengers that first time in issue #8 and the only person that would realize something changed was Black Knight, who would fall out of that time warp that Thor jammed him into and then forgot about.

For whatever reason, Tom DeFalco hated this idea.

(Maybe it was because it was too similar to Emperor Doom, a story where the world is altered - through mind-control, instead of reality manipulation - and the only guy that's aware is someone who was conveniently in isolation that prevented them from being affected with the rest of the world.)

(Also, I'm not sure why Immortus would want a timeline where Kang beat the Avengers, considering that Immortus hates Kang. All the eras of Kang hate each other but Immortus super hates Kang.)

Tom DeFalco said no to the idea. John Byrne though he meant no to it being used as a big crossover but that using it as just an Avengers West Coast story was okay.

But it turns out that Tom DeFalco thought he was vetoing the entire concept and when he saw the plot teases in the book, he got mad and demanded John abort the story.

So John Byrne quit the book.

And now you know why next two issues are fill-ins before Roy and Dann Thomas bring the Wanda is Crazy and Evil arc to some kind of ending.

I'll have to see what kind of ending it is but aside from that bit on Byrne's website about the Immortus plot, we'll never know what his plans for Wanda were.

I don't have high hopes but it's moot.

Regarding this issue: Meh.

I already don't love this plot and this feels like a retread.

Wanda, Magneto, and Quicksilver completely stomp the Avengers on planet Earth in issue 56. Then the Avengers follow them into space and get completely stomped again.

I hope that Avengers West Coast gets another long-term writer soon and some quality writing finally.

Follow @essential-avengers. I fell down an Earth X hole for a while and I'm so, so tired. Can't think of a silly way to say it but: Like and reblog.

[transgenderer]

The musculature of the short-beaked echidna has a number of unusual aspects. The panniculus carnosus, an enormous muscle just beneath the skin, covers the entire body.[45] By contraction of various parts of the panniculus carnosus, the short-beaked echidna can change shape, the most characteristic shape change being achieved by rolling itself into a ball when threatened, so protecting its belly and presenting a defensive array of sharp spines. It has one of the shortest spinal cords of any mammal, extending only as far as the thorax.[46] Whereas the human spinal cord ends at the first or second lumbar vertebra, for the echidna it occurs at the seventh thoracic vertebra. The shorter spinal cord is thought to allow flexibility to enable wrapping into a ball.[47]

The panniculus carnosus is a part of the subcutaneous tissues in vertebrates. It is a layer of striated muscle deep to the panniculus adiposus.[1] In humans, the platysma muscle of the neck, palmaris brevis in the hand, and the dartos muscle in the scrotum are described as a discrete muscle of the panniculus carnosus. Some of the muscles of facial expression in the head are part of the panniculus carnosus. In other parts of the body, the layer is vestigial, and may be absent or may exist only as microscopic, disconnected fibers.

The musculature of the face, jaw and tongue is specialised for feeding. The tongue is the animal's sole means of catching prey, and can protrude up to 180 mm (7 in) outside the snout.[22] The snout's shape, resembling a double wedge, gives it a significant mechanical advantage in generating a large moment, so makes it efficient for digging to reach prey or to build a shelter.[48] The tongue is sticky because of the presence of glycoprotein-rich mucus, which both lubricates movement in and out of the snout and helps to catch ants and termites, which adhere to it. The tongue is protruded by contracting circular muscles that change the shape of the tongue and force it forwards and contracting two genioglossal muscles attached to the caudal end of the tongue and to the mandible. The protruded tongue is stiffened by a rapid flow of blood, which allows it to penetrate wood and soil. Retraction requires the contraction of two internal longitudinal muscles, known as the sternoglossi. When the tongue is retracted, the prey is caught on backward-facing keratinous "teeth", located along the roof of the buccal cavity, allowing the animal both to capture and grind food.[26][49] The tongue moves with great speed, and has been measured to move in and out of the snout 100 times a minute.[22][50] This is partly achieved through the elasticity of the tongue and the conversion of elastic potential energy into kinetic energy.[49] The tongue is very flexible, particularly at the end, allowing it to bend in U-turns and catch insects attempting to flee in their labyrinthine nests or mounds.[51] The tongue also has an ability to avoid picking up splinters while foraging in logs; the factors behind this ability are unknown.[49] It can eat quickly; a specimen of around 3 kg (6.6 lb) can ingest 200 g (7.1 oz) of termites in 10 minutes.[52]

The echidna's stomach is quite different from other mammals. It is devoid of secretory glands and has a cornified stratified epithelium, which resembles horny skin. Unlike other mammals, which typically have highly acidic stomachs, the echidna has low levels of acidity, almost neutral, with pH in the 6.2–7.4 range. The stomach is elastic, and gastric peristalsis grinds soil particulates and shredded insects together. Digestion occurs in the small intestine, which is around 3.4 m (11 ft) in length. Insect exoskeletons and soil are not digested, being ejected in the waste.[52]

The leathery snout is keratinised and covered in mechano- and thermoreceptors, which provide information about the surrounding environment.[57][60] These nerves protrude through microscopic holes at the end of the snout,[61] which also has mucus glands on the end that act as electroreceptors. Echidnas can detect electric fields of 1.8 mV/cm—1000 times more sensitive than humans—and dig up buried batteries.[62] A series of push rods protrude from the snout. These are columns of flattened, spinous cells, with roughly an average diameter of 50 micrometres (0.0020 in) and a length of 300 micrometres (0.012 in). The number of push rods per square millimetre of skin is estimated to be 30 to 40.[63]Longitudinal waves are believed to be picked up and transmitted through the rods, acting as mechanical sensors, to allow prey detection.[64]

Numerous physiological adaptations aid the lifestyle of the short-beaked echidna. Because the animal burrows, it must tolerate very high levels of carbon dioxide in inspired air, and will voluntarily remain in situations where carbon dioxide concentrations are high. It can dig up to a metre into the ground to retrieve ants or evade predators, and can survive with low oxygen when the area is engulfed by bushfires. The echidna can also dive underwater, which can help it to survive sudden floods. During these situations, the heart rate drops to around 12 beats per minute, around one-fifth of the rate at rest. This process is believed to save oxygen for the heart and brain, which are the most sensitive organs to such a shortage; laboratory testing has revealed the echidna's cardiovascular system is similar to that of the seal.[38] Following the devastation of a bushfire, echidnas can compensate for the lack of food by reducing their daytime body temperature and activity through use of torpor, for a period of up to three weeks.[53]

A well-developed olfactory system may be used to detect mates and prey. A highly sensitive optic nerve has been shown to have visual discrimination and spatial memory comparable to those of a rat.[65] The brain and central nervous system have been extensively studied for evolutionary comparison with placental mammals, particularly with its fellow monotreme, the platypus.[66][67] The average brain volume is 25 ml (0.88 imp fl oz; 0.85 US fl oz), similar to a cat of approximately the same size;[68] while the platypus has a largely smooth brain, the echidna has a heavily folded and fissured, gyrencephalic brain similar to humans, which is seen as a sign of a highly neurologically advanced animal. The cerebral cortex is thinner, and the brain cells are larger and more densely packed and organised in the echidna than the platypus, suggesting evolutionary divergence must have occurred long ago. Almost half of the sensory area in the brain is devoted to the snout and tongue, and the part devoted to smell is relatively large compared to other animals.[69]

The short-beaked echidna has the largest prefrontal cortex relative to body size of any mammal,[66] taking up 50% of the volume in comparison to 29% for humans.[70] This part of the brain in humans is thought to be used for planning and analytical behaviour, leading to debate as to whether the echidna has reasoning and strategising ability.[70][71] Experiments in a simple maze and with a test on opening a trap door to access food, and the echidna's ability to remember what it has learnt for over a month, has led scientists to conclude its learning ability is similar to that of a cat or a rat.[72]

The solitary short-beaked echidna looks for a mate between May and September;[27] the precise timing of the mating season varies with geographic location.[93] In the months before the mating season, the size of the male's testes increases by a factor of three or more before spermatogenesis occurs.[94] Both males and females give off a strong, musky odour during the mating season, by turning their cloacas inside out and wiping them on the ground, secreting a glossy liquid believed to be an aphrodisiac.[42] During courtship—observed for the first time in 1989—males locate and pursue females. Trains of up to 10 males, often with the youngest and smallest male at the end of the queue,[95] may follow a single female in a courtship ritual that may last for up to four weeks; the duration of the courtship period varies with location.[22][96] During this time, they forage for food together, and the train often changes composition, as some males leave and other join the pursuit.[95] In cooler parts of their range, such as Tasmania, females may mate within a few hours of arousal from hibernation.[97]

Before mating, the male smells the female, paying particular attention to the cloaca. This process can take a few hours, and the female can reject the suitor by rolling herself into a ball.[94] After prodding and sniffing her back,[94] the male is often observed to roll the female onto her side and then assume a similar position himself so the two animals are abdomen to abdomen, having dug a small crater in which to lie. They can lie with heads facing one another, or head to rear.[98] If more than one male is in the vicinity, fighting over the female may occur.[98] Each side of the bilaterally symmetrical, rosette-like, four-headed penis (similar to that of reptiles and 7 centimetres (2.8 in) in length) is used alternately, with the other half being shut down between ejaculations. Sperm bundles of around 100 each appear to confer increased sperm motility, which may provide the potential for sperm competition between males.[98][99] This process takes between a half and three hours.[98] Each mating results in the production of a single egg, and females are known to mate only once during the breeding season; each mating is successful.[100]

[chef-mordo]

Codex Entry #003 | "Angirasu Bōryū" (Anguirus)

[This Series is heavily inspired by Trollmans’ “FOLLY OF MAN” series on DeviantArt, so be sure to follow him if you enjoyed my work]

Species: Angirasu Bōryū (Anguirus) Subtitle: The Indomitable Mountain First Modern Sighting: December 30, 1956 Height: 90.24 Metres Weight: 72,102.46 Tonnes The Anguirus species are believed to be the first mammals to reach true gargantuan proportions. The species' ancestors are believed to be some of the earliest members of the Pholidota order, which notably contains pangolins; as such, the two species share many similarities. Though, many features are quite remarkably the results of convergent evolution. Similar traits allowed them to thrive in very different niches. Anguirus’ ancestors are believed to have been around the size of a medium dog before the K-Pg Extinction Event, evolving to large sizes sometime after. It is theorised that they became truly colossal to fill in empty niches left by Kaiju that either became extinct or dormant with the end of the Mesozoic. However, there is a shocking lack of transitional fossils to help understand the evolution of this kaiju. Only one other possible ancestral fossil has been discovered, an elephant-sized creature dating to only 57 million years ago. Such a radical growth is unusual, as this process would typically take tens of millions of years. Another abnormal peculiarity of the fossils is the fact that they were found in a large cavern a mile underground within the Yunnan Province of China. No other terrestrial mammal has been found to live this deep in caves, not to mention any food sources able to support an animal of this size. The Anguirus lineage seems to be a true anomaly within Earth’s ecosystem.  The species do seem to have quite a few traits that would benefit a subterranean lifestyle, though it is thought they may now be purely vestigial, as there is a very low possibility of any major terrestrial hyperfaunal ecosystems within the Earth’s crust. A few hyperfaunal researchers have suggested that the pseudoscientific “Hollow Earth Theory” may have some truth to it, but as of the current moment, all evidence remains superficial. Anguirus have powerful clawed arms that seem to be specialized for burrowing beneath the ground, in fact, they seem to be able to cut through buildings and even bedrock with relative ease. They also have somewhat poor eyesight, with bright lights shown to be effective in stunning them. This seems to be balanced out with incredibly strong hearing, meaning that modern cityscapes tend to disorient and anger them. Due to this, Anguirus primarily avoid human settlements, though it is unknown where they reside.  Anguirus have large whiskers covering much of their face, this paired with their powerful noses helps to locate food and water within the ground, this is theorised to be the purpose of some of their seemingly subterranean traits. Unlike most other kaiju, Anguirus seems to feed off of other living things, even when full-grown. The tongue and digestive system of the species seem to line up with primarily insectivorous animals, suggesting the existence of invertebrate kaiju. Despite Anguirus seemingly being adapted to eat hyperfaunal arthropods, Anguirus have sharp, conical teeth with an incredibly strong bite force (exact bite force is inconclusive) that allows them to grapple onto opponents with minimal effort, similar to the jaws of a crocodile. The agility of Anguirus cannot be understated either, despite their large and seemingly lumbering build, they are actually one of the fastest terrestrial kaiju, able to outrun most opponents. They can also jump to heights upwards of 250 metres, creating shockwaves as they hit the ground. Another very unique quality of Anguirus is their ability to roll into a ball and continue moving, even being shown to launch themselves into the air in this form.

The outward appearance of Anguirus alone can be presented as evidence to the trials its ancestors had to endure to grow to such towering heights. Such a drastic increase in size meant that these animals would have to deal with new threats and predators. Gradually, its ancestors had evolved to prevent injuries from attacks and fights through the formation of hair-derived scales along their bodies. Quite remarkably, these have been shown to have evolved independently from pangolins. In addition, some scales also have formed horn-like formations atop them. Several more horns can also be found along the back and side of their horns, as well as a nasal horn that is theorised to have possibly been an offensive adaptation. Recent tests have shown that the spiked plating along the back and head of Anguirus can absorb large amounts of heat and radiation and either disperse it through the air, or reflect it back towards its source, further studies into this could break ground in anti-kaiju defense and weaponry. A final offensive ability used by this species is the “ultrasonic roar”. Theorised to have once been used as a form of echolocation before being converted into an attack, the ultrasonic roar is loud enough to rupture the eardrums of some species, the soundwaves are even visible without any sort of specialised equipment.   The intelligence of Anguirus can often be compared to that of horses and other equids, due to a seeming ability to use body language, pheromones, grunts, snarls, and roars to communicate with other species it encounters. Anguirus have also been shown to have an incredible memory, as well as some level of advanced problem-solving. However, it is not common to see them demonstrate their intelligence due to being highly temperamental towards most species and having few issues that are unable to be solved with brute force alone. Although it is not unusual to see Anguirus living solitarily, it is thought from fossil ancestors that they may live in family groups, mated pairs, or small herds.

Well, I hope y'all have enjoyed the Anguirus codex entry for GODZILLA: Age of Monsters. I'm sorry for the long wait, I've been very busy with my freshman year of highschool. Expect new posts relatively soon, Age of Monsters will be undergoing a small soft reboot (Fixing the Godzilla design, creating a distinct style, changing a few story details, etc). As always, likes are appreciated, follows and repost even more so. Thanks for reading!

Tune in for more updates and future posts. Peace and love! ✌️🏽

[migorify]

The Sun burning 57 Ball’s eyes, but make it human!!!

The Sun is my baby and I love him so much!!!!!

🥹🥹🥹

Plus I don’t see much fanart of 57 ball anyway…

[williamsockner]

Urban Fantasy Bingo

1. Main character dates a serial killer but the show thinks he’s just a complicated bad boy 2. Codependent siblings 3. Rampant unintended homosexual tension 4. Incest 5. Creepy dolls 6. Exploitative shots of dead teenage girl’s corpse 7. Narrative unsympathetic when bitchy teenage girls gets murdered 8. Parent or significant other in law enforcement 9. Shady big pharma 10. Ugly and/or disabled girl with no personality flaws 11. Amnesia 12. Black best friend (bonus points if gay) 13. Love interest with no personality besides fucking and sports 14. Love interest with no personality besides being embroiled in supernatural bullshit 15. Someone dies during sex 16. Main character commits rape but narrative refuses to acknowledge it as anything but angsty manpain behavior 17. Randomly excellent episode in an otherwise lackluster show 18. Writer’s room fetishist on display 19. Bodyswap/bodysnatch/shapeshift/possession 20. Everyone cares about the blood feud 21. Hundred-year-old urban legends or local history shockingly relevant to small town youths 22. Narrative clumsily attempts to make serial killer sympathetic 23. “the ugly one” played by a hollywood ten 24. Mortal threat to a character’s life during a sports game 25. Murder at prom 26. Super special chosen one and/or ancient prophecy 27. Writers convinced that remorse is the same as redemption 28. Love triangle 29. Snarky put-downs towards clear sources of inspiration 30. Love interests swap because the bad boy character was too interesting to the audience 31. Musical episode 32. Fictional classic monster actually existed in-universe 33. Character witnesses an alternate timeline where they didn’t exist and/or died 34. Character comes back as a ghost but gets no speaking lines so the show could save on the acting fee 35. Evil twin 36. Reincarnated true love 37. Super sexy high femme who’s actually 200 years old 38. Manic monster dream girl 39. Weird hybrids 40. Masquerade ball 41. Characters in class receive a lecture on a topic relevant to the episode 42. Flashback episode 43. Villain has a weird kink 44. Illegitimate lovechild 45. Abusive parent has a favorite child 46. Someone cuts their palm for a blood sacrifice 47. Someone sacrifices a pet for an evil ritual 48. Black witches have more power 49. Scene at the morgue 50. Teenage alcoholism 51. Regular alcoholism 52. Visible manifestations of someone’s guilt and/or plot exposition in the form of dead loved ones 53. Dead perfect significant other 54. Characters get caught doing something and give transparently fake names of celebrities or pop culture references 55. Musical sequence that exists only to show that an actor can dance, sing or play an instrument 56. CPR brings someone back to life and doesn’t break any ribs 57. Character discovers secret power at last second before they almost die 58. Secret society has a ritual to decide who is the head honcho monster 59. Incongruous musical choice 60. Someone has a dark side/evil blood/a prophecy that they’ll go evil 61. Someone turns into a violent sociopath because they lose their soul and/or humanity 62. Somebody bleeds out the eyes or mouth, or has a nosebleed that someone else has to call attention to 63. Significant other hunts what you are 64. Halloween episode 65. “You tried to kill me and that takes grit, I’m proud of you” 66. “There’s nothing on the other side when you die” especially if we know ghosts exist 67. Inconsistent ghost rules 68. The enemy of my bigger enemy 69. Head in a box 70. Cold opening of teenagers getting eaten because of a dare, bonus points for haunted house 71. Racist one-off criminal encounter 72. “Cool costume, bro” to an actual monster 73. Halloween costumes significant to role character plays in the story 74. Wise mentor figure with colorful past and parental affection towards protagonist 75. The one normal guy who keeps getting pulled into bullshit 76. Everybody in the cast dates each other as the writer’s room tries to figure out what the fans want 77. Immortal character put in a box 78. Non-human has to pass as human…badly 79. Ancient character has to adjust to modern day 80. Random regular human with an axe to grind 81. Bait and switch big bad at the end of the story, turns out to actually be a main cast member having a meltdown after taking out villain 82. Head of the secret council actually an evil puppet master 83. Police scanner 84. Debilititis 85. People randomly discovering superpowers around puberty 86. Character that main character hates for no good reason turns out to be evil all along 87. Plot-relevant celestial event 88. Someone telekinetically forces people to turn their guns on each other or themselves 89. Badly-pronounced French 90. The apocalypse originates in this small podunk-ass town 91. Unreasonable hometown pride 92. Latin as the mother tongue of magic 93. Local police covering up for high monster murder rate 94. Single parent is overworked medical practitioner 95. Guardian is not yet ready for this level of responsibility 96. Someone turned out to have a child they didn’t know about 97. Weird pregnancy (bonus if no sex actually happened) 98. Someone’s kid gets aged up to skip working with a child actor 99. Somebody sends their child “away” to keep them from getting embroiled in the bullshit and then they get embroiled in the bullshit anyway 100. Descendants of an immortal 101. Resurrection with no consequences 102. Resurrection or healing with consequences will haunt the protagonist 103. Protagonist has at least one dead parent 104. A friend of the main cast dies in the pilot 105. Candlelight vigil for a high school student 106. Fucked up mother-son dynamics 107. Daddy issues 108. “Fear makes the meat taste better” and/or “I like to watch them scream” 109. Souls get sold and/or girls get married to Satan 110. Deal with the devil turns you into a ticking time bomb 111. “you worded your wish wrong” 112. Alternate reality without magic 113. Real-world religions or spiritual practices treated as monsters of the week 114. All myths contain a grain of truth 115. Someone attacks a wedding 116. Mundane who really wants to be a monster 117. Redhead 118. Feral child raised by wolves 119. Bitchy cheerleader 120. Characters go undercover at a school 121. Mental institution episode 122. Protagonist framed for murder 123. Cold open of dog-walker getting eaten while dog runs away 124. Show starts off with missing or murdered girl 125. Animal motif or animal companion 126. Non-human but non-animal sidekick 127. “The council sent me to give you exposition” 128. Secret society of hunters 129. The Corporation 130. Death by bees 131. Jumpscare 132. Douchebro thinks he’s getting seduced but is actually about to get eaten 133. Siblings have pronounced disagreements over how to feel about their absentee parent 134. Deep South 135. Magic can solve everything except cancer 136. Beautiful sprawling mansion 137. Musical sequence intercutting one couple having sex and someone else dying or doing something else dramatic 138. Safehouse and/or bunker 139. “s/he was just trying to protect you” used as a justification for abjectly abusive parenting 140. Family with oodles of generational wealth 141. Groundhog Day Episode 142. Random skull in dark place 143. Someone punches a mirror 144. Black blood 145. Weird eye color signifies supernatural status 146. Wicker Man episode 147. Pagan gods 148. Faith healer 149. Couple going on a date gets eaten 150. Someone gets murdered in a church 151. Villain boasts that “maybe that works on wimpy monsters, but not me” 152. Chasing the murderer through a house of mirrors 153. Diner 154. Episode titles named after songs or famous books 155. Supernatural war 156. Getting out of a Faustian bargain 157. Someone wakes up tied to a chair at an insane dinner party full of corpses

[maximumcatfeels]

Listen,

I think that the comedic potential of Meowscarada as a roughly human preteen sized cat with cat sized mischief tendencies cannot be overlooked.

Like, it doesn’t have opposable thumbs so maybe it can’t quite figure out how to open the can of Pokémon food but it is still tall enough to reach YOUR plate of food, steal your sandwich , and then run off with it

Plus it would totally make a noise to get your attention, bat things off surfaces that it can reach, and then sashay away without a care.

and then it lays across your lap while you are trying to get work/homework done and it’s so large that it’s cutting off the circulation to your feet but it’s purring and you don’t want to move it

Or it’s so cute curled up on your bed sleeping and twitching because it’s hunting in it’s dreams and you take video of it and sent it to the group chat and everyone goes “awwwwwww good kitty!!!”

And then it horks up a massive fur/vegetation ball in your shoes the next day because you forgot to give it a treat at precisely 3:57 pm like it has trained you to do.

You know.

Cat things.

[blondbitchbeatdown]

Are you going to post a list of the 60 contestants?

Well since you asked, here’s our bracket:

1. Dio Brando (JJBA)

2. Barbie (Barbie)

3. Sasha Waybright (Amphibia)

4. Klavier Gavin (Ace Attorney)

5. Regina George (Mean Girls)

6. Edward and Alphonse Elric (FMA)

7. Dirk and Dave Strider (Homestuck)

8. Rose and Roxy Lalonde (Homestuck)

9. Adora (She-Ra)

10. Vash (Trigun Stampede)

11. Yuri Plisetsky (Yuri!!! on Ice)

12. Cynthia (Pokemon)

13. Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club)

14. Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

15. Bakugou Katsuki (My Hero Academia)

16. Michael Shelley / The Distortion (TMA)

17. Teruki Hanazawa (Mob Psycho 100)

18. Stella (Winx Club)

19. Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)

20. Stede Bonnet (OFMD)

21. Nanami Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

22. Bubbles (PPG)

23. Aziraphale (Good Omens)

24. Naruto (Naruto)

25. Hunter (TOH)

26. Mami Tomoe (Madoka Magica)

27. Warren Stone (ROTTMNT)

28. Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)

29. Misa Amane (Death Note)

30. Byakuya Togami (Danganronpa)

31. Sanji (One Piece)

32. Joey Wheeler (Yu-Gi-Oh!)

33. Link (The Legend of Zelda)

34. Beatrice Umineko (Umineko When They Cry)

35. Heather Chandler (Heathers)

36. Sergeant Calhoun (Wreck-It Ralph)

37. Lucia Nanami (Mermaid Melody)

38. Raphaella La Cognizi (The Mechanisms)

39. Glinda the Good (Wicked)

40. Pacifica Northwest (Gravity Falls)

41. Megan Bloomfield (But I’m a Cheerleader)

42. Noelle Holiday (Deltarune)

43. Charlotte La Bouff (The Princess and the Frog)

44. Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

45. Rapunzel (Tangled)

46. Kagamine Len and Rin (Vocaloid)

47. Raffaela Musiker (Startrek)

48. Johnny Test (Johnny Test)

49. Shinji Hirako (Bleach)

50. Android 18 (Dragon Ball Z)

51. Chloé Bourgeois (Miraculous Ladybug)

52. Finn the Human (Adventure Time)

53. Emma Frost (X-Men)

54. Sandstorm (Warrior Cats)

55. Apple White (Ever After High)

56. Theodore “Tobey” McCallister (WordGirl)

57. Minako Aino and Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)

58. Harley Quinn (DC)

59. Marie Mjolnir (Soul Eater)

60. Maria Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog)