#40s dating

[she-said-he-said]

I Wonder If….We Can Get TOO Comfortable With Single-hood?

It’s a common theme…..we get divorced, we date and date and date. We have a few failed relationships back to back. After maybe the 3rd or the 4th that leave us unhappy and confused, we may realize it’s time to see a therapist to see what might be going on here. We were probably told to we needed to stop dating for a while, possibly a year. To take time to really get to know ourselves, to learn to be happy on our own. Without a need for another person to feel fulfilled.

We find new activities we love to fill our time to keep the opposite sex off our mind. We get active. We make new friends. We take up new hobbies. We learn to embrace being alone. Sleeping alone. Watching Netflix alone. Cooking alone. For one.

After a while, we start to get very comfortable in our independence. We don’t need someone around to feel whole.

We’ve learned to fill our time. We’ve learn to get everything we thought we needed from a person in a relationship from other avenues.

Of course, there’s one need humans have that can’t be met from others: Sex. Is it healthy to get to a place where the only thing we need from a love type relationship is sex? Is this why everyone seems to be only using each other for sex these days?

It goes both ways. I know many females who say that’s all they want from a guy right now in their life. I know many males who say the same thing. If everyone’s open about it and on the same page…is there really any harm?

I’m on a facebook group where women warn other women of experiences they’ve had with other guys on online dating sites. Most complaints are, of course, that a guy gives all indications that he’s interested in a relationship until after the deal is sealed with sex. Then, they disappear and move onto the next. Leaving women feeling confused and hurt. Was the sex bad? Or is it just that this guy has filled his life with his friends and playing in hockey league, taking ski trips with his buddies and gets all of his emotional needs met by these friends and the only thing he needs from a woman is sex? Why stop with one woman for just sex? If you don’t need a deeper connection? A partner in life? Why not keep trying to experience the hundreds that are on these dating apps? Plus, many guys think they can collect these women in their back pocket and come back around for more sex with them later.

I know, that for myself, I’ve gotten so comfortable living alone that it scares me to share my space with another person. I want to sleep when I want to sleep, to watch what I want to watch, eat what I want when I want, sit around and do nothing when I want without anyone judging. The thought of moving in with a guy and having to deal with his tacky decor and dated furniture gives me hives. When I go on a date with a man and it ends up at his place, I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed where I can wake up at 3am and look at my phone for an hour in bed without disturbing someone. Have I gotten too comfortable being single?

All that said, I miss being a team with someone. Someone to talk with about the hard and good things happening in life. Someone who gives a shit. Someone who’s there when I’m sad. I want to do the same for someone. I miss having a regular sex partner. I want to have someone to rub my back and eat dinner with me and touch me and watch a TV show with me. How will I get to that if I like being alone so much now?

While cuddling with a man after sex recently, he contentedly said “Wow, THIS is what it should be like”. Somehow our discussion from how great it was for him to have a woman in his arms led to his mom and the major heart surgery she’d just had. She was currently in the hospital down the street in Boston on a ventilator. I acknowledged how hard it had to be to be dealing with that all on his own. No siblings, no father, no woman. He said “that’s what a man does, I don’t mind taking care of stuff, I’m a man. Plus, I’ve got my buddies to talk to for support.” Well, Ok then. Hope your buddies give a mean blow job, too, buddy.

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[singlegrannydating]

I'm looking for a man of depth and substance

[devildomwriter]

“The seven of them are like treasures to me, but not because they’re rare or valuable. No, it’s not about that. You see, on that day, I was lucky enough to meet seven future friends. Truly special friends…the kind I can count on even if my life depends on it.”

— Diavolo to MC about the brothers (Nightbringer Chapter 40-1)

[yuripira4e]

Sorry not a big shipper in the dungeon meshi fandom other than farcille and chilshi but I specifically don’t, personally, at all like mithrun and kabru for the reason I see mithrun as some like 48 year old man that has a “i cradled you in my arms” “I don’t remember that” platonic- older work friend relationship with Kabru until they meet up a couple years post everything and he’s mentioning some of the desires he’s tried out and is just like “yeah tried sex, it was okay. Not great compared to my ex lover.” “Oh who was that?” (Because he’s nosy) “her name was Milsiril.” And then it cuts to Kabru’s glass cracked all over the floor

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Hot Dog for a Hot Date - art by Al Moore (1942)

[heynhay]

let's drive out

[carlestin]

butters' pocket money

[three-realms-archive]

Just a Study

Content Warning: Spoilers for Lesson 40 of Nightbringer! Everything above the cut is spoiler-free!

The wise sorcerer watches his dear apprentice sleep peacefully, unaware of their close friend and mentor doing what he does best. Studying.

His eyes analyse the rise and fall of their chest, tracing his gaze over and across the parabolas that make up the shape of their sleeping form. The small chuckles that escape him when you snore and snort are sounds that you will never get to hear. The soft, unprecedented flushes of crimson across his cheeks when you nuzzle your forehead deeper into the crook of his neck is a sight you will never get to see. Yet your sounds, sights and touch… Solomon knows all of it. He knows the mean, median and mode of the number of hours you sleep at night; and he spends the midnight hours flipping through tomes dedicated to understanding love. To Solomon, this was all a study, really.

A study on how it would have been, if he had taken the time to know his fellow, human classmate from the get-go. How it would have been if he had taken you under his wing sooner - if he had won the race for your heart against the Seven Avatars of Sin. The data was there, in the form of the pact marks etched into your skin - placed there like perfect puzzle pieces. And no matter how much his brain wanted to process that data differently, the results and conclusion would remain unchanged.

To conduct a study, one must try to match the conditions of the experiment to the assumptions of the theory. Solomon knew this, and so he had strived to make Coctyus Hall your new House of Lamentation. He had lived with you - had eaten with you - had even slept beside you. He knew that you (more often that he liked) had shared a bed with each of the brothers before - so he had done that, too. He had taken your trip to the past as an opportunity to replicate the theory with ease, piecing together a domestic life with you that felt like bliss.

The perfect study.

It was meant to be the perfect study. For him and you.

So why?

Why did it hurt so bad, returning to the original timeline; and seeing how… easily, you fell back into your own life?

Why did it hurt, seeing you live, eat and sometimes even sleep alongside the brothers again?

Why did it hurt, sleeping beside you in your old room, when he had already shared a bed with you many times now? It hurt being with you, in this bed made for one, the pillows and blankets and your shifting form taking up room and pushing him out. Telling him that he didn’t belong next to you.

… The wise sorcerer watches his dear apprentice sleep; studying. He presses his lips gently to your temple and savours the familiar warmth that greets him, fondly. He selfishly, childishly, hooks an arm and a leg around you; entangling himself in you as you had done many times before with him. He easily finds your hand through touch alone under a blanket colder than the one you used to share; struggling to intertwine his fingers with yours properly. But he grips your hand like a lifeline when he manages to. He’s got the lines of your palm and the creases of the skin of your wrists memorised. With a small, shaky breath, Solomon uses his thumb to trace over them again, and again, and again. Studying.

It was just a study, right? A ‘what if’.

Just a study, with a simple title.

What if, for a while, he pretended you loved him?

A study compares the theoretical with the experimental. Compares the ideal with harsh, painful, hurtful reality.

You belonged with the brothers. They were your ideal.

… And his brief, domestic, blissful experiment with you was now over.

(i had started writing this before seeing that angest was ruling the poll, lol. but yayyyyyy i wanna start writing angst and romance with the characters i haven’t touched on yet, so have an angst solomon, set after lesson 40 of nightbringer)

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about secret dating

requested by: various anons requests: I saw the "Forbidden Love" prompts, mostly about not admitting to themselves / each other, and it really made me yearn for forbidden love prompts where they're together but they have to hide it from everyone else; one sided “keeping a relationship hidden from coworkers”; can you post prompts about two oblivious people who are already dating but the other people don't know they're dating? dialogues or scenarios would do<3 thank you and love your prompt contents!

Feel free to use and reblog!

Part 1: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about confessing a forbidden crush Part 2: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about showing love without confessing

Setting/scenario:

#1 - keeping it secret at first because they didn't think it would turn into something that serious anyway #2 - enjoying the thrill of the secrecy #3 - being unsure whether that nervous feeling in their stomach is coming from their feelings for the other or the fact the relationship has to be kept a secret #4 - it's killing them that they have no one they can share their thoughts about their new relationship with #5 - making up the most random excuses to secretly meet up with the other #6 - screaming internally because they're having a date but they can't talk about it #7 - trying to act casual and unsuspicious in public when they're together but it's so hard #8 - teasing the other because they know how hard it is for them to keep their affection/arousal to themselves #9 - making promises that they don't have to keep it secret for much longer (but is it really realistic?) #10 - developing a method to communicate in code #11 - keeping it secret to protect the other #12 - keeping it secret until better times come #13 - making up for keeping it secret by extremely romantic/spoiling dates when they're alone #14 - wanting to fix everything before making the other their official s/o #15 - finding it the least stressful way to date to just keep it secret #16 - enjoying their little, happy secret because that way, no one can ruin it/take it from them #17 - it's like living in two completely separate worlds because their relationship is something that just exists between the two of them and the time together is always otherworldly #18 - wanting to stay in their happy dream world forever #19 - making plans for the future together, even though they don't know where they will be tomorrow #20 - they're keeping the other's love letters hidden under their pillow even though they know how risky it is

Dialogue:

#21 - "You're the most precious thing to me. So, I have to keep you as safe as possible." #22 - "Ah, I'm glad to have you finally to myself." #23 - "When I'm with you, it's like the earth stood still. I'm never so at peace." #24 - "You know, I really don't want to imagine what would happen if the others knew." #25 - "We have to be more careful. This was really a close call." #26 - "Do you really think it's necessary we keep it secret for much longer?" #27 - "I'm doing this for you. You're much better off when the others don't know." "You always say that. But I'm not sure if I still believe it." #28 - "It's not ideal but hell would break lose if it came out. I'm really glad we have the moments of peace. And intimacy." #29 - "Could you have imagined that we would someday end up like this?" #30 - "You're the best that happened to me. And I can tell no one about it. But I want to shout it from the rooftops." "Oh, you better don't. But you can always whisper it to my ear." #31 - "Isn't it fun to have this secret?" #32 - ^ "That's one way to call it." #33 - "I was really impressed how you handled that earlier. So cool. So smooth. So casual. As if I hadn't just made you whimper and made your eyes roll back minutes prior." #34 - "It's all worth it. I would risk it all again just to be with you." #35 - "Do you really think this is a good idea? They could find us." #36 - "You'll be the death of me." #37 - "To be honest, it's pretty funny to see you acting so unfazed and oblivious when we both know you were still thinking about me being naked." #38 - ^ "I always think about you being naked. It's not as if it's a new challenge to keep a straight face." #39 - "But you do know that I'm doing this all for you, right? Otherwise, I couldn't care less." "But you have to act as if you were in for the thing itself. They cannot connect you to me." #40 - "One day, I will carry you off to a place where it's just us. So, be prepared to be kindly abducted one day, alright?"

[richolderwomen]

I'm widow and mother of two. I ready to embark on a new chapter and hopes to meet her future husband

[chappellrroan]

a man dating girls half his age will never get respect or any sort of grace in my books

[dianeandrews]

Take me out tonight 🖤🐈‍⬛️

[devildomwriter]

“I’ll never forget the you I met in this world, ____.”

 “I love you.”

“I should find it a bit curious for you to feel that way about me, under normal circumstances. However… Not right now. No, right now I’m genuinely glad. ___… I’d like to kiss you. If you’ll allow me that, close your eyes…”

— Barbatos and MC (Nightbringer Chapter 40-6)

[debie08]

I think am gaining height lately 😆 it’s a good thing though lol 😂

[shiiokaze]

A Lucifer Study: First vs. Later impressions