#30 facts about myself- finally

[astrophilic-soul]

Tell us 10 facts about yourself! Send this to 10 other people!

Thanks for the ask 💜💜💜

1) I really hated burgers for some weird reason as a kid, though I'm slowly learning to like it now lol

2) I'm interested in programming and I'm thinking of creating a hetagame as a way of practicing programing lol, we'll see though

3) One of my fav games as a kid was Purble Place, because it was the only thing on our family computer other than solitaire

4) Talking about early 2000s games, in PvZ, me and a friend of mine used to call that zombie with the heart underwear and newspaper- like underwear man or diaper man in Hindi lol

5) I've been at the festival in Tamil Nadu where people pull those really big Chariots with gods in them with rope through the streets (and I held the rope for a few seconds). It's absolutely huge and here are two links about it! Personally, it looks really dangerous to me lol😅

6) I've ridden a camel and a horse!

7) My favorite insect/mollusca when I was a kid was a snail and still is! I liked to pick up the pine straw and look for them!

8) I apparently have some extended family in Indonesia that my grandma lost contact with? They exist but she doesn’t remember their names (she was a kid) so- yeah that’s a bit interesting

9) It took me until I was 6-ish when I watched an actual American film to realize that American films didn’t have a whole song sequence in the middle of their films and the songs that were on the radio were-in fact- not songs from movies but independent artists/bands

10) I’ve watched all parts of the Planet Earth documentaries at least 4 times

[suzena]

Like making angels out of crows

[bicon-crange]

Hi friend are you trying to make like a general sona like just to represent you in like art or are we talking like a sona for a specific fandom universe

well friend. im not gonna lie to u. i DO only want one bc all my friends have one and i wanna!!! draw myself mashing their cheeks with my tiny lil hands!!!

up till now ive kinda just drawn myself like this, and tried to mix it up but the more it looks like me the more i fcking hate it. so ive stayed kinda neutral blobby.

BUT THATS NOT GONNA FLYYY FOR HAVING FUN WITH MY FRIENDS!!!

So i gotta come up with SOMETHING

[fursasaida]

This article is from 2022, but it came up in the context of Palestine:

Here are some striking passages, relevant to all colonial aftermaths but certainly also to the forms we see Zionist reaction taking at the moment:

Over the decade I lived in South Africa, I became fascinated by this white minority [i.e. the whole white population post-apartheid as a minority in the country], particularly its members who considered themselves progressive. They reminded me of my liberal peers in America, who had an apparently self-assured enthusiasm about the coming of a so-called majority-minority nation. As with white South Africans who had celebrated the end of apartheid, their enthusiasm often belied, just beneath the surface, a striking degree of fear, bewilderment, disillusionment, and dread.

[...]

Yet these progressives’ response to the end of apartheid was ambivalent. Contemplating South Africa after apartheid, an Economist correspondent observed that “the lives of many whites exude sadness.” The phenomenon perplexed him. In so many ways, white life remained more or less untouched, or had even improved. Despite apartheid’s horrors—and the regime’s violence against those who worked to dismantle it—the ANC encouraged an attitude of forgiveness. It left statues of Afrikaner heroes standing and helped institute the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which granted amnesty to some perpetrators of apartheid-era political crimes.

But as time wore on, even wealthy white South Africans began to radiate a degree of fear and frustration that did not match any simple economic analysis of their situation. A startling number of formerly anti-apartheid white people began to voice bitter criticisms of post-apartheid society. An Afrikaner poet who did prison time under apartheid for aiding the Black-liberation cause wrote an essay denouncing the new Black-led country as “a sewer of betrayed expectations and thievery, fear and unbridled greed.”

What accounted for this disillusionment? Many white South Africans told me that Black forgiveness felt like a slap on the face. By not acting toward you as you acted toward us, we’re showing you up, white South Africans seemed to hear. You’ll owe us a debt of gratitude forever.

The article goes on to discuss:

"Mau Mau anxiety," or the fear among whites of violent repercussions, and how this shows up in reported vs confirmed crime stats - possibly to the point of false memories of home invasion

A sense of irrelevance and alienation among this white population, leading to another anxiety: "do we still belong here?"

The sublimation of this anxiety into self-identification as a marginalized minority group, featuring such incredible statements as "I wanted to fight for Afrikaners, but I came to think of myself as a ‘liberal internationalist,’ not a white racist...I found such inspiration from the struggles of the Catalonians and the Basques. Even Tibet" and "[Martin Luther] King [Jr.] also fought for a people without much political representation … That’s why I consider him one of my most important forebears and heroes,” from a self-declared liberal environmentalist who also thinks Afrikaaners should take back government control because they are "naturally good" at governance

Some discussion of the dynamics underlying these reactions, particularly the fact that "admitting past sins seem[ed] to become harder even as they receded into history," and US parallels

And finally, in closing:

The Afrikaner journalist Rian Malan, who opposed apartheid, has written that, by most measures, its aftermath went better than almost any white person could have imagined. But, as with most white progressives, his experience of post-1994 South Africa has been complicated. [...]

He just couldn’t forgive Black people for forgiving him. Paradoxically, being left undisturbed served as an ever-present reminder of his guilt, of how wrongly he had treated his maid and other Black people under apartheid. “The Bible was right about a thing or two,” he wrote. “It is infinitely worse to receive than to give, especially if … the gift is mercy.”

[apollos-boyfriend]

Hey I've been observing from afar through your reaction blogging, I haven't been in mcyt as much since the dsmp ended but I still care about a lot of the people in the mcyt circle and I'm interested in what goes on - care to give a rundown of what happened at this twitch rivals thing everyone keeps talking about? (no pressure only if you want to) Aside from the fact I'm sure it was terribly run like most twitch rival events are, but it sounds like there was more to it than that

okay so. i am going to be missing quite a few details because i missed a day myself + my streamer could not care less, so i heavily encourage others to add on stuff i missed

this was a multi-day competition, running for 5 days with prize rewards from 1k to 100k. it started with i think 150 players, with select numbers of people getting eliminated each round. day 1-2 are fairly normal, at least for twitch rivals. of all the games that got played through the whole event, i'd say like 1 was actually good, and maybe 2 were decent, at best. most are bad, poorly-executed, poorly thought out, or just boring in terms of both player enjoy-ability and content creation.

DAY 3 EDIT:

now, sapnap's been sapnap for this entire event already. obnoxious, a bad sport, but most notably, playing DMCA'd songs. the event ran on proximity chat, so while he was unmuted, everyone around him would also be subject to said songs, which could mute vods at worst and terminate accounts at best. most people are fed up with him at this point. while everyone's trying to come up with solutions for the glitch, sapnap spams the discord with useless shit. couriway calls him out in the discord, calling him annoying and obnoxious, then later calling him a cunt in twitch chat. sapnap uses couriway and feinberg's name in his stream title for clickbait and talks shit about them + their friends (hbg/house builder gang). he also makes some weird comment asking if couri is homophobic because sap was talking about having skeppy's dick in his mouth?? or something?? i'm unsure exactly how day 3's issue of the glitch resolved.

day 4 is also your average experience with your usual range of average to horribly painful games. sapnap continues to be a bitch and not take responsibility for his stans attacking anyone in sight, but what else is new

day 5 is. bad. the game set for deciding the final competitors can be cheesed (if you let someone else do all the work, you can punch them in the last second and steal their win) and eliminates like 20 people at once. on top of that, a glitch happens that leaves the server on standby for at least 30 minutes while admins decide what to do. firebreathman sends a picture of a bare naked ass in the discord. someone else sends a photo of their debit card. streamers entertain themselves in various ways, including growing a cactus (fulham), playing osu (purpled), collecting other people's streams for their overlay (fruitberries), playing slime rancher (badboyhalo), and building real-life furniture (couriway). tubbo (who was already eliminated at this point) starts jumping between streams and asking in chat for the tea. the game is eventually replayed, deciding the final 4 players, but it's just as broken and at that point, no one wants to be there anymore. it's revealed through multiple streamers (purpled, i believe also feinberg) that twitch rivals games are not tested before being ran. the only testing done was a stress test to see if the server could handle all original 150-some players. this explains why the games are so bad and poorly organized (some games take over an hour, others barely 30 minutes).

the final four are sapnap, shadoune, sneegsnag, and i think feinberg. it's the most anticlimatic game of connect 4 you can imagine. sneeg eliminates sapnap, and shadoune eliminates fein. notably, fein's game glitches during a throw, which despite being obviously a glitch, the coordinators brush off as being "part of the game". fein and multiple other streamers spend time analyzing every pov frame by frame and all agree that yeah, that was a glitch. shadoune and sneeg are left for the finals. they come to an agreement that this is stupid and a horrible event. tired of this bullshit, they purposefully stall the games and run a podcast for approximately 2 hours, forcing the coordinators to bend to their commands hunger games-style. essentially since the first glitch of the day people were begging twitch to just split the money, something that wouldn't be easy according to tubbo, because everything is pre-signed and delegated before the event. sneeg and shadoune give no fucks, and force the coordinators to split the money anyway, winning the day through the power of friendship. i cannot stress enough how no one wanted to fucking be there by the end of all this.

[foldingfittedsheets]

So I’m a little embarrassed to admit that when I thought my Switch was broken, my issue with force restarting it was that I mistook the home button for the power button. The advice people gave me should have worked.

When I realized today that the core should have its own button I was able to restart it and everything was fine.

To celebrate, please enjoy a non exhaustive list of other silly shit I’ve done:

When I first started driving a manual transmission car I learned how to drive stick from a single wretched session with my dad where he forced me to start on a hill with my emergency break before I had basic shifting down (I ended up starting the car in third gear on an incline which is an achievement that no one should ever do), and one drive in a parking lot with my buddy Dustin.

Consequently I believed that I must always keep my foot on the clutch when the car wasn’t in gear because no one thought to tell me that neutral counted as a gear.

I drove like that for years, clutch pressed in at every red light. The only reason I ever learned better was my clunker needed a jump and after my coworker had his car hooked up to mine he invited me to stand with him while we waited.

I very hesitantly lifted my foot off the clutch and when it didn’t stall I felt so goddamn silly. Years. I hadn't realized for years that I could be in neutral without the clutch down for years.

More recently I’ve been listening to podcasts in my car. I thought that if I hit the next track button it would skip to the whole next episode and dutifully sat through all the ads.

Then one day I was turning and hit the skip ahead button and realized it only did 30 seconds, not a whole episode. I immediately felt so silly and ridiculous for not realizing sooner that I could fast forward the ads without missing the whole episode.

Finally, the silliest way I've ever injured myself was so stupid that everyone immediately assumed I was lying. I was crawling down the bed toward my beloved in a negative sexual way. Cannot stress enough, there was nothing sexy in this scenario. I'm pretty sure I was pretending to be a cat screaming about licking my own anus. I went to plant my hand on the footboard, I overshot and went somersaulting off the bed, landing flat on my back.

The next day I tried to go into work while moving like a possessed puppet, hunkered over and slinking along trying not to move any muscles because everything was a fiery pit of pain. The managers saw this and called me into the office. "What the hell happened to you? Can you actually work today?"

I opened my mouth to answer and my favorite assistant manager instantly interjected, "And don't lie!"

I stopped and realized that saying I could still work was in fact a lie and got sent home to recuperate. My coworkers were all completely convinced when they heard the story that I'd been up to the freakiest sex shit imaginable and not a single one believed I fell off my bed pretending to be a deranged cat.

[livixcore]

All this for him? (idol!Hwang Hyunjin x f!reader)

✮ Summary: You pay your boyfriend a visit during his practice in the studio which ends up with you receiving another guys phone number while you're there. Jealousy takes over Hyunjin who decides to prove who you belong to.

✮ A/N: listennnn I know smut is a BOLD first post and first write but hear me out... mic and brush has the biggest chokehold on me and I couldn't help myself lols! anyways enjoyyy!!!! lemme know what you think pls and thank u x

✮ Pairing: Idol!HwangHyunjin x fem!reader, AFAB!reader, JealousBoyfriend!Hyunjin

✮ Genre: Smut, Angst (if you squint)

✮ W/C: 4.7k

Smut warnings under the cut!!!

✮ Warnings: choking, degradation. praise, jealous!Hyunjin, multiple orgasms, oral (m and f rec) unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it people!!) fingering, hair pulling, possessiveness. marking, softdom!Hyunjin, sub!reader, pet names (jagiya, angel, baby...) filming, squirting, creampie, not fully proofread mb x

It had been a couple of weeks since you had sat in the practice rooms to watch your boyfriend run through his choreo so when he called at 7pm and proposed the idea of you coming to watch his new solo performance practice you immediately jumped up to get ready. Somehow you managed to be out your apartment in 15 minutes and arriving at the studio another 30 minutes later.

“Finally you’re here! What took you so long? I called you about 45 minutes ago.” Hyunjin, in his dramatic state, jogged over to meet you at the door once he heard the door swing open. He clearly hadn’t noticed the drinks in your hands.

“Wow, okay so i’m guessing you don’t want this then?” you replied to his drama by shaking the drink around close to his face but before he could react you had pulled it away and strolled past him feeling his eyes burning into the back of your head as you placed your things onto the table at the side of the dance studio.

Still facing the table, you heard footsteps behind you as Hyunjin walked over seemingly more interested in the iced americano now inhabiting the table. You felt a pair of large ring adorned hands snake around your waist from behind and settle flat on your stomach as Hyunjin rested his head in the side of your neck.

“I’m sorry. I was just excited to have you here to watch me doing my solo choreography.” He mumbled into your neck as you leaned into his warmth, sighing comfortably.

“No it’s okay, I know baby. Thought you might’ve needed some energy plus the traffic getting here was crazy so I just thought an extra 10 minutes wouldn’t matter if it meant I wasn’t showing up empty handed.” You melted into his embrace and rested your hands on top of his on your stomach, tracing his rings under your fingertips. Being in a secret relationship and needing to be careful about it made moments like this even more special before reality set in. Hyunjin was quick to remember his choreographer was only stepping out for 10 minutes just before you arrived. He pressed a quick soft kiss to your neck and pulled away, grabbing the drink you had brought and took a sip.

“Thank you. I really needed this.” Just as he replied the door swung open and the choreographer walked in grinning as he spotted you standing in the corner.

“Ah! Y/N I didn’t know you were coming today? Hyunjin didn’t mention it.” He walked over pulling you into a hug and you shot a look in Hyunjin’s direction to catch him holding back a laugh. It’s not that you didn’t like Kai but he had always tried flirting with you every time you had came to the studio to watch your boyfriends dancing. Granted, Kai didn’t know you and Hyunjin were dating but still, he was shameless. You both had always told Kai you were just childhood friends (which isn’t exactly a lie) and you hung out often to just hide the fact you’re dating. He clearly believed it since the flirting was unavoidable despite Hyunjin’s eyes boring into the back of Kai.

“Haha yeah… I had no idea you’d be here either. I thought it was just Hyunjin otherwise I would’ve brought you a drink too.” You tried to cover up the fact you didn’t want him here. Hyunjin bit the straw of his drink smirking as you looked at him for help.

Kai cluelessly just offered a laugh and told you it’s no big deal as he had a coffee earlier already. Hyunjin set his own down and asked you to go sit down so he could show you the choreo for his solo stage.

The music started playing as he took his position in the middle of the floor. You had always admired him while he danced, swaying perfectly to the beat. The song he had for his solo stage was perfect for him. It had a jazz and expensive vibe to it and wasn’t bouncy or crazy in any way meaning his dancing was more mellow and slower, almost sensual. You sat back in your seat watching him run through the moves, his eyes moving to watch your reaction every so often.

Once he had gone through it the first time he was left with a layer of sweat covering his perfect features as he ran his fingers through his hair to move it away from his eyes showing you more of his face as he shot a smirk at you. He knew you loved him like this, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. He just didn’t realise how turned on this side of him made you.

Obviously you had noticed Hyunjin’s eyes watching you but you had also caught on to Kai watching you too instead of keeping his eyes on his student. You had kept a mental note of Kai’s eyes on you in case Hyunjin brought it up later, which you knew he would. Not that you’re complaining.

“That was amazing! Seriously ba-“ You cut yourself off before you finished that sentence hoping Kai didn’t hear. Hyunjin definitely heard as his cheeks flushed red underneath his already red face from his dancing, you almost missed the new flustered look. Settling for clapping with a smile to show how good you thought it was instead, just incase anything slipped out accidentally.

“Can I just say… Y/N… You look beautiful today." Kai interrupted your appreciation with a compliment but immediately snapped his mouth shut. "Sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” He added, mumbling but you could still hear what he said. “Sorry…”

“Uh no it’s okay!” Trying to save the man from embarrassment. “Thank you… I just threw this on today though it’s nothing special.” You thanked him to smooth the tension, tugging on your tight cropped vest and baggy jeans.

Kai rubbed the back of his neck in response, feeling minimally better. “Well you look amazing to me.” He offered a smile.

Hyunjin coughed from beside you as he sat down with his drink in his hand. His tongue poked out between his lips and travelled to the corner of his mouth as he sat back, adjusting his position in the seat. You suddenly felt intimidated with his presence next to you. He felt you tense up as his thigh and fingers brushed the side of your leg, a silent reminder to behave.

“Uh anyways let’s go again Hyunjin!” Kai pulled him out of his thoughts as he had an internal argument with himself to have control and not kiss you in front of the older man. He shot a subtle glance your way and winked as he stood up and walked back to the middle of the room.

About an hour went by when finally they decided to wrap up practice and head home for the day. They had gone over a couple other dances too just to cover some moves.

The entire time Kai’s gaze was still lingering on you which hadn’t gone unnoticed by you or Hyunjin. When it came to Kai leaving he had walked over and gently pulled you into another hug. “I meant it when I said you looked beautiful earlier.” You felt his hands sliding further down your back and a hand slip into the back pocket of your jeans and then quickly pull out again. “Come again soon, yeah?”. All you could do was awkwardly laugh and nod your head as he pulled back. He then walked over to Hyunjin to sort out their next practice session and then left the building which in turn left an insane amount of tension in the room.

You tucked your hand into the same pocket Kai’s hand had just been in and pulled out a piece of folded up paper. He had scribbled his name, phone number and a small “;)” onto it. Fuck. You quickly folded it up and held onto it in shock.

Before you had time to properly react Hyunjin had already crossed the room and ripped the paper from your hands. “What’s this?” He asked scanning his eyes over the paper, a deep laugh erupting from his chest as he read it. You stopped breathing as you waited for his reaction.

He shoved the paper into his own pocket as he kept his eyes trained on you. You stood frozen in front of him. “Aw, don’t get shy now. You had no problem replying to Kai’s very obvious flirting earlier.” He tilted his head to the side slightly still looking down at you. “I just threw this on today though.” He was mocking you but instead of getting offended you tried to press your thighs together in hopes of him not noticing.

His fingers came up to trace your jaw before finally wrapping around your throat slightly, pressing down on the sides and pulling you towards him to crash his lips onto yours hungrily. You immediately melted into his lips, gasping as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip which allowed him to slip it into your mouth.

You knew replying to Kai was like adding fuel to fire but you also knew (or hoped) it would end like this, with you wrapped around his finger. Teasing was in your nature when it came to Hyunjin.

With his free hand he unbuttoned your jeans and slipped his hand past the waistband, lightly ghosting his fingers over your clothed core feeling the growing wet patch. You felt him smirk against your lips. “All this for him, hm? Couldn’t help yourself feeling his hands over you? Sliding into your pocket and touching your ass?” The same smirk on his lips as he spoke and waited for your reply. "Enjoyed him watching you the entire time too, huh?" He added but all you could let out was a strained moan as his fingers continued their attack over your underwear. He pulled his hand out of your jeans, “Use your words Y/N.”

“N… no never. Only for you.” You whined, missing his touch. “I’m only yours.”

Just as you allowed your hands to wander across Hyunjin’s torso he pulled away from you and walked over to the seats to sit down, dragging you along with him to straddle his lap. “Are you gonna be a good girl and prove you’re mine, jagiya?” All you could do was hum in response as you attached your lips to his neck, sucking sharply. But before any serious damage could be done he had raked his fingers through your hair at your scalp and pulled your head back, the sting causing your eyes to tear up a little.

He wasted no time attacking your neck with the same urgency you had done to him. You whimpered as his lips reached just under your ear as he sucked and nibbled which left a mark behind. His tongue swiped over the same spot to soothe it before he travelled lower to the small part of your exposed collarbone to add another mark. Your hands found themselves in Hyunjin’s hair as you bit your lip and held back a moan.

You felt his hand gripping onto your waist, digging his fingers in which you hoped would leave a bruise behind causing you to start moving your hips on his lap needing more friction. A smile formed on his lips as he stopped kissing your collarbone and looked up to make eye contact with you as he grabbed the hem of your shirt, lifting it slightly. Giving him an eager nod he lifted your shirt off your body, immediately dropping his eyes back to your chest.

"No bra? Bet you came here hoping Kai would be here so he could see you like this hm? Such a tease.." Hyunjin hummed before continuing his kisses along your collarbone and down your chest. Before you could reply he had ghosted his lips across one of your nipples, laughing lightly as he heard your breathing hitch. Finally he took it into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the sensitive bud and watching your reaction.

"Hyune..." You whined out, pleading for more.

"I know angel, I know." His hand slipped past your waistband once more going back to touch you through your underwear where you need him most. Letting out a shuddered breath you dropped your head on his shoulder muffling any sound coming from your lips. "Needy today aren't you? Craving my attention that badly? Knowing how to rile me up perfectly."

Pushing your underwear to the side his fingers finally touched your clit, rubbing small circles around it as you moaned and let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. You gripped his forearm as his fingers continued circling your clit drawing the most lewd noises from your mouth as you dug your nails into his arm, forming little crescent moons underneath. His fingers danced around your entrance before he finally slipped a finger inside of you, pulling it out enough to add a second.

You squealed at the new sensation as his fingers continued to pump in and out of you at a steady pace. After a couple more thrusts of his fingers he started to curl them, feeling that spongey spot inside that had you gasping for air as his name fell from your lips like a prayer.

"Hyune please... need to cum." You begged, panting as you spoke with your chest rising and falling erratically. Your grip loosened on his arm and instead drifted to his very obviously hard dick in his pants, tracing the shape with your nails.

His hand in your pants faltered slightly at the new sensation but quickly found rhythm again. The fingers in your underwear continued to pump in and out of you, his thumb playing with your clit, as the other hand came up to cradle the back of your head and bring you forward so he could catch your lips with his in a slow, gentle kiss, swallowing your moans as your orgasm built up in the pit of your stomach.

"Cum for me angel. Been such a good girl." He whispered against your lips and with that you let go, the knot in your stomach finally exploding as your eyes rolled to the back of your head while you saw stars and his fingers slowed to help you ride out your orgasm with a high pitch moan ringing through the echoing studio.

He pulled his fingers out of you, slipping them past his lips and sucking them clean. A groan fell from his lips at the taste of you on his fingers. The sight was pornographic, you couldn’t help but crash your lips against his, tasting yourself on him. You deepened the kiss by grabbing the back of his neck to angle his head so you could take over a little, thanking him for the earth shattering orgasm he just gave you.

After you had caught your breath you wasted no time standing up with slightly shaky legs and dragging your jeans and panties down off your body in one swift motion, ridding yourself of the material and kicking it off to the side. Sinking to your knees in front of Hyunjin, your hands started off going up his inner thighs teasingly before finally reaching the tent in his sweatpants.

"Wanna make you feel good Hyune, prove how good I can be for you. Only you." You blinked up at him, resting your cheek against his thigh as your hand kept tracing over his dick with your fingers. "Please. Wanna taste you."

He only hummed in response, leaning over and putting his hand on the back of your neck to pull you in for a searing kiss. You bit down on his bottom lip causing him to groan into your mouth and pull back to look at you with lust filled eyes before sitting back again, waiting for you to continue with what you had begged for.

Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his sweats you pulled them down to his ankles leaving him in just his shirt and boxers. You started kissing his thigh, working your way towards his lower stomach before finally dipping into the waistband of his boxers and freeing his dick from the confines. Your mouth watered at the sight. He wasn’t too long but definitely longer than average with the perfect girth.

Licking a long stripe up the underside of his cock you made your way to the tip and giving it a light kiss, licking your lips after and tasting the salty precum that had transferred onto your mouth.

“Angel don’t tease.” He groaned, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your breath fanning over where he needed you most. Hyunjin wasn’t usually impatient and had a good amount of self restraint and control but today was different, he felt an uncontrollable need for you that had to be fulfilled.

Your tongue darted out of your mouth giving the tip of his dick small kitten licks before finally wrapping your lips around the head sucking lightly. A groan slipped past Hyunjin’s lips as his head tipped back slightly faltering but brought it back up quickly to watch you with your mouth wrapped around his length. Deciding to give him what he wants you finally sank your mouth down on his leaking cock, using your hand to accommodate for what you couldn’t fit.

“F…fuck y/n, always s.. so perfect for me huh? Always so good with that pretty mouth of yours.” His voice shuddered as he spoke, bringing his hands through your hair and creating a makeshift ponytail. “Does my pretty girl want my cum down her throat? Is that what my jagiya wants?”

You hummed in response and the vibrations caused Hyunjin to shiver and his grip to tighten on your hair, pulling at the strands. The mix of his hands pulling on your hair and the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat caused tears to well in your eyes as they fluttered open and you looked up at him through your lashes, the eye contact enough to have you gushing with arousal.

It didn’t take long for a string of curses mixed with your name to come out of Hyunjin’s mouth as his hips began to thrust up into your mouth, chasing his high. After just a couple thrusts his hips stilled and you continued to pump his length, keeping your mouth over the tip as he painted the back of your throat white. You let him ride out the orgasm and took your mouth off of him with a pop, saving him from overstimulation.

Once he had caught his breath you brought your face close to his, sticking your tongue out to show his release held in your mouth before swallowing it down and showing him it was gone causing him to smirk and once again crash his mouth onto yours, all tongue and teeth.

He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and roll you over him gently so you were on your back along the seat as he hovered above you. Grabbing his shirt by the back of the collar, he pulled it off in one motion, leaving he finally completely bare.

The new position allowed him to easily kiss down your body, starting with the corner of your mouth slowly making his way to the sensitive spot beneath your ear where he has sucked a mark into earlier. You whined at the contact in the increasingly sensitive area but he was quick to soothe any discomfort with his tongue, lapping over the area softly.

His trail of kisses continued down your body, between the valley of your breasts and across your belly. You felt even more bare if that was even possible under his stare as he kept eye contact with you the entire time he kissed along your pelvis and hips, finally coming close to your soaking core.

Feeling his breath fanning over your most sensitive area your hands surged down to thread through his hair, like an automatic reaction. He smirked at you before his plump lips finally came into contact with your clit, giving it soft kisses before sticking his tongue out, running it through your folds causing your back to arch off the seat you were laying on.

You were practically non-verbal at this point except the moans and whines slipping past your bruised lips, still reeling from the previous orgasm he had given you and the fact you didn’t give yourself enough time to recover before jumping on him.

Hyunjin got encouragement from your moans and hands tugging his hair and continued his assault on your clit with his mouth, rolling it between his lips and teeth, softly biting on it every so often. You felt him getting hard again as his length pressed into your inner calf from the way he was leaning over you.

With one hand holding your hips in place his other came up to grip your chest, rolling your nipple between his fingers and gripping the mounds of flesh. The added stimulation only caused you to moan loader, the sounds reverberating off the walls making it sound way louder.

You began to absentmindedly grind against his face, feeling him smile against you and chuckle slightly at your eagerness which in turn added an extra vibration to your clit which was enough to send you over the edge for the second time tonight. He let go of you clit with a loud smack of his lips and brought his face close to yours with a shit-eating grin plastered on it despite your arousal soaking his lips and chin.

“Baby are you alright?” He softly asked, stroking the side of his your face and ignoring his again painfully hard dick. Eating you out was one of his favourite things in bed so it’s no wonder he was hard again so quickly. He always cared more about how you were feeling rather than his own feelings at times like this, he needed you to be comfortable.

“Hyunnie, ‘m so so good. Need you in me… please” You had gotten to the point where all you craved was your boyfriend filling you up and you were so close yet to getting it.

“Such a greedy girl wanting my dick to fill her up even though I’ve given you two orgasms already. Don’t worry jagi I’ll fill you up real nice, it’ll be all you can remember all week.” His words hit you deep in your core as he grabbed your plush thighs, pushing them back to meet your chest and he lined himself up with your leaking cunt.

Grabbing the base of his dick he ran the tip through your folds, coating himself in your slick before finally pushing into you slowly and bottoming out in one thrust. You both moaned in unison at the stretch and tightness of your heat encapsulating him, sucking him in.

“Baby move. P…please move Hyune.” You begged, your hands going to grab his thighs as they snapped against your ass from the position he had you in. He pulled out halfway and quickly pushed in again. You could feel every vein of his length dragging along your walls as you clenched down on him feeling your slick leaking out of you at each thrust of Hyunjin’s hips.

Suddenly his pace picked up, his hips snapping into you at a wild rate.

“Pussy was just made for me right angel? Think we should show your little loverboy just how well you take my dick huh?” His thrusts faltered as he reached for his phone from next to your hip. He was quick to open the camera app and two seconds later you heard the telltale sign of a video starting. “Jagiya’s gone on dumb on my cock like the cock drunk slut she is. Who does this cunt belong to baby? Whose dick are you taking so well.” He gasped out through thrusts, holding his phone steady enough to capture him disappearing inside of you, bottoming out with each thrust.

“Y…yours! Hyunjin baby please don’t stop. Belongs t…to you ‘nd only y…you.” You shifted your hips up to meet his thrust, the new angle causing him to reach the spot inside you that had you hurtling towards your third orgasm. The pressure building was the most you’d felt all day. Hyunjin’s thrusts got sloppy as he neared his own release, the camera picking up on the slowed pace.

“Baby ‘m gonna cum quick if you keep clenching on me like that.” He groaned, trying to keep his pace while you drove him crazy.

“Cum with me Hyune… please baby.” You weren’t going to last much longer and you’d always loved the intimacy you felt whenever you and Hyunjin finished together. He knew this about you which is why not even a second later he had brought his free hand up to slot with yours, interlocking you fingers and giving them a slight squeeze, a silent sign of his that you’d caught onto meaning you could cum.

You chased your high, back arching off the seat as the pressure inside of you exploded harder than you’d ever came before, your arousal gushing out and coating your boyfriend’s abdomen and upper thighs. That was enough to have Hyunjin’s hips stilling as he bottomed out for a final time and released inside of you with a low grunt, giving you a couple more shallow thrusts to ride it out before pulling out of you completely. You whined as your legs spasmed and you felt empty again, your hole fluttering around nothing as both of your releases leaked out of you.

He was quick to get the sight of you fucked out with the mess between your shaky legs within the view of his camera before he stopped the video and crawled up to lay beside you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and pulling you close.

Your brain hadn’t fully registered anything for the past couple minutes as you caught your breath, still reeling from your final orgasm. Eventually you could feel a hand stroking the side of your face and registered the warm breath fanning across your neck.

“Mmh… baby.” Your voice came out as barely a whisper. Hyunjin quickly sat up and grabbed the water bottle on the nearby table and took off the cap, holding it up to your mouth and tipping it in, soothing your burning throat. “Thank you.” You smiled and sat up slightly, feeling the mess on the seat beneath you.

“y/n that was single handedly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m gonna need you to do that every time we fuck for the foreseeable future.”

“HYUNE! You can’t just say that you pabo!” You laughed while lightly smacking his shoulder causing him to laugh.

“Sorry sorry! Seriously though baby I had no idea you could do that.” Your face flushed with embarrassment but Hyunjin was quick to realise as he grabbed your face with both hands and ran his thumbs across your cheeks, leaning in to give your lips a gentle kiss. “Kinda wish Kai was here to see how good you were for me… It would be a real shame if this video somehow ended up in his text messages though.” Hyunjin shrugged, grabbing his phone and pretended to send the video.

“That would be cruel, the poor guy wouldn’t be able to face us normally for a long time.” Truth be told though, you wanted him to see. Maybe it would finally put a stop to his ruthless flirting and he could move on. You didn’t think Hyunjin would actually send it though so you didn’t bother to try grab the phone from him.

“Yeah I think you’re right. Oh well.” He shrugged and the noise of a text being sent caused your head to whip around and look at him with wide eyes.

“Oh my god Hyunjin tell me you didn’t. He literally going to stop being the groups choreographer!” You said in disbelief, still finding the humour in the situation though but more so in the fact your boyfriend was hot when he’s jealous.

“Aw whoops! Oh well! Come on princess let’s get you cleaned up and then home for a proper bath, maybe some nice dinner too.” He pecked your cheek and started to grab everything you had flung across the room. Aftercare in the company building was always quick and very minimal but you knew the minute you walked into your apartment you would be treated well by your loving boyfriend.

a/n: thank you so much for reading my first one-shot! i’m gonna go crawl into a hole after posting this and if it does bad then i’ll maybe die off from embarrassment! i’m trying to get this account up and running now starting with this post and then working on my other wips so we’ll see what happens. feedback would be very much appreciated, thank youuuu!

[cdragons]

Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You

Next Part

Summary: You have never, EVER, in a million years hated anyone the way you hated Felix fucking Catton.

Warnings- MDNI 18+, Felix is delulu, Reader is stressed and homesick and kinda crazy but she a baddie, Michael is Michael, Farleigh is Farleigh, Oliver will be Oliver (a creep), and author has spent too much time researching Oxford crap for this mess for a crack fic to be a crack fic

Author's Note: This fic is a follow-up to this post and I would like to thank grammarly for catching all my grammatical errors 🥲, @ethereal-athalia for enabling my crazy ideas 🥰, and @valeskafics for providing me Saltburn smut when I catch myself thirsting 😇

“FUCK!” you yelled at the top of your lungs just before your nose slammed down on the dewy grass.

Groaning in pain before the mortification of realizing what had just happened kicked in.

You didn’t know what was worse: the fact you had a full front view of the giant’s junk or that he body-slammed you onto the ground and caused you to land on top of the painting worth 30% of your final grade.

You wanted to scream your head off. The paint had finally dried, and you could finally leave the studio at two in the morning. It was close to finals, and pretty much anyone on campus who didn’t get accepted because of their daddy’s bank account was in their dorms. You had hoped that this fact would mean that the paths were empty and, therefore, safe to transport your 30” x 40” canvas.

“SORRY!”

You shot your head up to locate the person who just apologized. Lo’ and behold, it was the same plastered, pasty cunt with a bird’s nest disaster of a haircut drunken idiot who decided it was a good idea to go streaking across campus. His only other distinguishable features were that he was at least 6’3” and that he had a small steel piece pierced on his face.

After the “apology,” he and his friend continued running off to God’s knows where in the dead of night—leaving you behind on the lawn with a bleeding nose, bruised knees and palms, and an oil painting that was torn and caked in mud three days before its deadline.

There was no way to redo it. The project was assigned at the beginning of October. It took 5 hours to set up the models with the motifs and lights, 3 hours to take pictures, and 10 hours to underdraw the preliminary sketch. You didn’t even want to think about the sheer number of sleepless nights you spent in the studio mixing colors and layering. On top of that, you also had your other finals in other courses to study for.

You had practically been living in that studio for the past month. All of the custodians and security guards knew you by name. You got first dibs every day when they refilled the vending machines. It was a true godsend when you didn’t have time to visit the dining halls. Everyone had been so kind and sweet to you. It was a warm welcome compared to the snark and snobbery you experienced from most of your classmates.

Crying from the devastation of the loss of your situation, your shaking legs carried your body and what remained of your work into the building. You knew that your professor stayed in her office late for grading. You could only hope that she would sympathize with your pitiful appearance.

“Wait, so did you get the extension?”

Lifting your head from the sticky library table at Bodleian’s, you stared at your best only friend, Michael Gavey, with a blank stare. You didn’t react to his wince after he took in your haggard appearance. You didn’t need a mirror to know that you looked terrible.

Your eyes were puffy and bloodshot red with dark mulberry bags underneath them. You had paled since coming to dreary England, but now you looked straight-up sickly. And if that wasn’t enough, your eyes had less life than a dead fish rotting at a Sunday Market.

Your voice was so meek that you were sure he had to strain to hear you.

“Yeah…I got it.”

You knew you had no choice but to beg your Studio Arts professor for an extension. But it killed you doing it. Professor Daria Martin was your favorite teacher and the only faculty member who actually liked you. Her support toward you meant everything to you; the last thing you wanted to do was disappoint her, let alone be the reason why she lost her job.

Your usually so snarky four-eyed friend perked up at the news.

“So, is everything okay?” he asked with hope.

Your head fell on neon-yellow ink-stained pages that filled the paperweight your ethics professor called a textbook. A bitter laugh fell from as your lips lifted to a wry, dry grin.

“Oof, not that simple, is it?” he asked.

“Is it ever?”

“So what do you have to do now?”

“Well-,” you lifted your head to take a deep breath as you started to explain, “- I still have the photos and copies of the sketch. But because the canvas was so large, it was special-ordered. That means I need to wait until another one can be delivered, and since all the works need to be completed in the studio, I can’t leave the campus.”

As you finished your explanation, Michael nodded his head in understanding before he paused, and a look of devastation painted his features.

“Wait, so does that mean-”

“I won’t be able to fly back home for the holidays.”

Fuck, you were about to cry again. You had been so excited to see your old friends and family. You remembered how absolutely homesick you were at the beginning of the term. Because you were a scholarship student from America, your parents encouraged you to settle on campus by moving to your dorm earlier than everyone else. It was bad enough that you missed Thanksgiving, but you had really set your heart on coming home for Christmas and New Year’s. What made it worse was that your parents had told you all about the dinner they had planned for your homecoming. It was going to be a feast of all your favorites.

English food sucked balls.

Your only saving grace was the Crunchie bars Michael got for you when you studied together or when you had to rewrite edit his essays.

You really DID cry after first reading his essay for Introductory English class at the beginning of the year.

“Did you try to report it?”

“Report what? ‘Hey, there’s a wasted asshole running naked across campus, and he body-slammed me to the ground and tore my fucking massive campus that blocked my view of the jackass. He’s probably richer than the goddamn Queen, given how he’s wasted right before finals.’”

“Do you have any description of him?”

“He’s a giant with a small eyebrow piercing, and his fat ass looked like it had never seen the sun.”

Without lifting your head, you heard the scrape of Michael’s chair before he walked across the table to sit in the chair next to you.

“Hey,” he began, bringing you into a warm arm hug, “it’ll be okay. You called your parents about it, right?”

“Yeah -” you sighed before continuing, “- they told me they understood and would Skype me daily.”

“See! Everything’s going to be – wait, did you say that this guy was tall?”

Furrowing your brow in confusion, you looked at your friend at the change in his tone from light and supportive to sharp and interrogative.

“Yeah?”

“How tall?”

“Umm,” you had to think about that, “I’d say he was about 6’3” or above? He was really fucking tall.”

“And he had an eyebrow piercing?”

Ok, now you were really confused. “Yes? Michael, where are you going with this?”

“I think the guy who ran you over was Felix Catton.”

You shot your favorite idiot with a deadpan glare.

“Felix Catton? The same Felix Catton who just so happens to be the same Felix Catton you hate?”

Michael solemnly nodded. “It’s him. It has to be. The only person on campus as tall as him is his cousin, and he doesn’t have piercings.”

“And he’s black.”

“Yeah, that too.”

You were skeptical, and it showed. You didn’t want to callously dismiss your friend, but you knew more than anyone how much his hatred for Oxford’s Golden Boy could impair his judgment. You were by no means a fan of the guy, but accusing someone of anything they didn’t do just because your friend thought so went against your principles.

He grabbed your arm and dragged you to the bookshelf in front of the table where Felix and his groupies sat. Both of your books and bags were in your chairs, but you managed to keep your spiral notebook with you. It wasn’t hard to find them – they were the loudest table in the entire library. They also reeked of cigarettes and booze.

“See?” Michael hissed. “Giant, pale, and eyebrow piercing. It’s him!”

“Michael,” you softly groaned, “just because you hate Felix Catton doesn’t mean you can –”

An extremely shrill voice interrupted you.

“I can’t believe you and Farleigh actually ran around campus naked!”

A petite girl with full pink lips and dull red hair latched on the arm of the man of the hour. “It was so hot to watch!”

This girl has weird-ass tastes in guys.

“And then how you crashed into that dunce at Ruskin! Brilliant!”

Your blood ran cold while another one of Catton’s faceless droning puppets chimed in.

“God, what an idiot! It’s their own fault, anyway. Who the fuck walks in the middle of the walk path with a fucking big canvas in front of them?”

One of the lessons hammered into your skull young was never to move before you think. That lesson had saved you ten ways from Sunday. But this was not one of those times.

You’re pretty sure that you hear Michael calling out your name as you walk away from the shelf and towards the overcrowded table. Tunnel vision took over you as you made your way to the overgrown idiot who almost cost you your entire future.

Grabbing the back of his shirt collar, you dragged the 6’5” towering fool on his ass all the way outside. You finally let go when the two of you reached the back of the building that had no windows.

“Hey, what the fu –”

You didn’t let him finish as you brought your fist to hit him square in the face – and, fuck, did you relish the crunch that immediately followed your swing.

Fuck, was his head killing him.

Felix should have known better than to have gotten cross-faded last night, but Farleigh had practically goaded him to do it. It’s not like his cousin ever had to worry about his grades for any of his courses during finals – the little shit-starter had always been so fucking academically gifted.

He skipped pretty much all of his morning classes and barely made it to his afternoon schedule on time while completely zoning out the entire time.

If he bombs on all his finals, his dad was going to absolutely murder him. But chances were he and his mum were going to be too busy entertaining whichever new friend his mum brought in for shelter.

“You alright there, champ?”

Felix swiveled his head too quickly and immediately groaned in pain. The motion made his hangover even worse. Rubbing his eyes to try to soothe the pounding in his head, he slowly opened them to look at his cousin.

The slag didn’t have the decency to look even a little bit affected from last night’s event – the fucker. No, he was sitting there with all Cheshire grins and gleaming eyes while Felix was two seconds from heaving his guts out.

“Yeah, I’m alright, mate.” He replied in a tired groan.

“Must have been quite the night. Wonder if it had anything to do with that little cocktail you took from our sweet Annabel’s belly button?”

Disgust was clear on Felix’s face as he recalled the body shot he had taken from his ex-FWB’s navel. He truly must have been off his rocker last night – he thought he was over with body shots since graduating secondary, but apparently not.

If he somehow got an STD from doing it, V was going to kill him.

But even with all of his horrible actions that caused the raging war inside his skull, that wasn’t the main cause of his misery.

Farleigh’s grin dropped as judgment painted his features.

“Oh,” he moaned, “please tell me this isn’t about ‘your angel’ from last night.”

He didn’t just take the dare of streaking across the grounds just for the hell of it. He needed an excuse to pass through the art building – all for the chance of seeing you.

You. His angel of paints and books who lived in the empty studio rooms of Oxford University’s Ruskin School of Art and whose presence harangued him every hour of every day. Everywhere Felix went, he would unconsciously look for you.

It was his soul calling out for yours – he knew it.

Felix had never felt so drawn to another human being in his entire existence. He’d never seen you outside of the libraries, art building, and maybe the dining hall if he was lucky. You never went to any parties or even had a drink at the pub at King’s Arms. He didn’t even have classes with you, but he knew Farleigh did. Word was that you and his cousin had shared a few classes – what’s more was that you were likely the only person who could go head-to-head with him in academics.

And to make it worse, the prat refused to tell him anything about you – not even your fucking name.

“Believe me,” he told him after Felix had been begging his cousin for hours to share anything about you, “she is way above your league.”

Which really hurt his feelings, by the way – sure, you were probably way above in book smarts, but there wasn’t a girl that remained indifferent to his charms after a good talking fucking.

“I still can’t believe you won’t at least tell me her name,” Felix complained once more, “or even just give me her number!”

“She’s an American here on scholarship and a bore,” he quipped back, “what’s there to tell? And can you please shut up? I want to get some reading done before tonight. You do remember the in-class essay we have tomorrow, right?”

Bloody hell, he did not. Pushing down the bitter feeling in his chest, he and his cousin made their way to meet everyone at the back. As soon as he sat down, Annabel clung on to his arm. Thank fuck he had been wearing one of his thicker jumpers – otherwise, her claws that she called nails would have ripped open the fabric.

“Hey, Felix!” she made sure to offer a very generous sight of her cleavage, “are you ready for tonight?”

Felix chuckled lowly before responding. “Aren’t I always?”

And just like that – he completely zoned out the rest of the conversation.

Annabel was probably saying something to get him to notice her, and Farleigh was likely responding so he wouldn’t have to – but Felix couldn’t be bothered to pretend to care.

He was lost in the living daydream that was his angel that haunted the art studios of Ruskin School of Art.

He was desperate to learn everything about you.

If he asked you to talk about your favorite books, would your eyes sparkle in delight, or would your smile widen in glee?

If he grabbed your hand, would your palms feel marred by his rough skin, or would you press your callouses to his?

If he pressed his mouth on yours, would your lips feel as soft and plump as they look? Or was their luster forever damaged by your teeth biting them whenever you were in deep concentration?

If he breathed in your scent at the crook of your neck, would your skin smell like the paints forever on your brushes or the musky pages of heavy ancient books you always carried in your arms?

If he planted kisses from your throat to your breasts, would you mewl in pleasure or whimper in anticipation?

If he touched your cunt, would you arch your back in ecstasy? Or would your legs crumble, and you would have no choice but to sink into his arms?

Felix’s thoughts were rudely interrupted when Farleigh jammed his bony elbow into his ribcage and hurriedly whispered.

“Look alive, Golden Boy.”

Looking forward, it was better than any of his wet dreams combined. It was you.

Your hair was loose, and your fists were clenched. You reminded him of a ferocious lion goddess with how focused your gaze was on him.

But before Felix would prepare himself to make a good impression, you walked behind him and grabbed the back of his shirt collar before fucking dragging his ass out of his seat and outside.

Bloody hell, for someone so much shorter than him, you were fucking strong.

When you finally released your grip, he fell on the ground like an idiot before he tried to stand and steady himself as quickly as he could.

“Hey, what the fu –”

You didn’t let him finish as you brought your fist to hit him square in the face – and, fuck, you might have actually broken his nose.

After staggering back, you started using the spiral notebook in your other hand to land blow after painful blow on his body.

“YOU. STUPID. FUCKING. INGRATE –” Each word that left your mouth was emphasized with another hit from your notebook “– I. HATE. YOU. YOU. RUINED. MY. PAINTING. I. SPENT. SO. MUCH. TIME. ON. IT. AND. NOW. I. CAN’T. GO. HOME. FOR. BREAK. BECAUSE. OF. YOUR. STUPID. SELF!”

Felix was confident you had more to say, but you were pulled off him by your friend – he’s pretty sure it’s Mitchell – by the waist with you kicking and screaming out profanities to him as your friend called out your name to try to calm you down.

He wondered what it said about him if he told anyone how much you looked like an angry cat. His parents would send him to a shrink if he told them how adorable he found you right now.

If you were this wild while fighting, he could only imagine how riled up you would get in bed.

Fuck, you might have just unlocked a new kink in him.

Catching his breath as he watched your friend drag you away into the distance, he heard a slow clap to his left.

Farleigh was leaning on the corner – his smug expression making it clear that he had seen the whole thing – as he looked at his cousin with a bemused expression before walking toward him and giving a sympathetic pat on his back.

“Well,” he started to break the tension, “at least you know her name.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, “I know her name.”

And he knew that you smelled more like the paints on your brushes than the books you carried with subtle notes of gardenias.

Tagging: @aemondsbabe, @ethereal-athalia, @aphroditesmoon, @barbiedragon, @valeskafics, @lexyysworld, @punkiwiki, @saltburnedme, @arcielee

Let me know if you want to be tagged for future Saltburn fics!

[sturniologals]

Mine. {M.S}

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆

warnings: smut/p in v (don’t be silly, wrap up your willy)/ slightly angry sex

Summary: Y/n and Matt are roommates. Your parents are all close and you were moving to go to college in new york, so of course Matt’s mom forced him to let you stay with him in the new and strange environment. This would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s always been extremely over protective and tries to control your social life in every aspect, so what happens when Matt finds your one night stand shuffling out his penthouse?

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆

The sound of my feet pattering against the cold floor of the kitchen is the only sound that can be heard in aydens desolate penthouse.

I walk towards the fridge to get some water but before i can make it there, i hear a loud snore. I quickly whip my head around to see my one night stand passed out on the couch.

“fuck! shit! fuck!” i whisper shout to myself under my breath as i run over to the couch and start shaking the man awake. i don’t even know his name, i met him at a club last night.

“Hey! wakey wakey buddy!” i shout at the man as i continue to shake his shoulders.

I have to get him out of here before matt gets back.

The man starts to groan and shift his body as he stirs awake. “why are you still here?!” i shout.

He woke me up when he left my room at around 4:30 this morning and i assumed he was leaving.

The man sits up and brushes his slightly greased black hair back. “s-sorry- i fell asleep in here when i was putting my shoes on i think.”

“yeah, okay time to go.” i say as i rush him as he slips on his sweatshirt and stumbles as he walks towards the door.

“jesus! okay! okay!” He says in a whiny voice as i shove him towards the front door.

He opens the front door and i’m met with Matt, standing in doorway.

“shit.” i mumble to myself, seeing his face instantly turn angry as my hookup awkwardly smiles at Matt and shuffles past him in the doorway. Matt’s not moving and holding intimidating eye contact as the man slides past.

The man walks past Matt but before he can get even a foot away, Matt grabs him by the collar of his shirt and jerks him back towards him.

“Don’t ever fucking speak to y/n again.” Matt gruffs out harshly as he looks down at the man, towering over him.

“Matt-“ I say, but i’m ignored in the moment.

The man says nothing but just runs off as Matt lets go of him.

Matt turns back to look at me, a look of desperation and anger in his eyes as he walks in through the door past me. I slowly turn behind him, shutting the door behind us.

I have to talk to him and address the problem because i’m not doing this shit again with him. The last time this happened, he was an asshole for a month.

“Matt, what the fuck?” I retort as ayden opens the fridge up and gets a bottle of water out.

“Hm? what’s the matter y/n?” He asks, faking a look of confusion as he takes a sip from his water bottle, his full lips glowing with a shimmer of wetness as he pulls the bottle away.

“Don’t act fucking clueless. I’m tired of you getting so mad when i hookup with someone. I’m not even dating him for Christs sake! It was just a fuck!” I yell, obviously getting bothered. I can physically feel my face heating up and getting red.

“y/n, don’t shout.” Matt says quietly and eerily calm, trying to put on a facade of being not bothered by the conversation.

“Matt, listen to me.” I say as i let out a deep breath. “I’m not doing this shit with you again. The last time i even talked about hanging out with a guy, you threw a fucking fit and was an asshole to me for a fucking week! i’m not doing it again. I’m 20 years old- i’m allowed to have a hookup or hell- a boyfriend if i want.”

I finish off breathlessly, relieved to have finally said the words that have been brewing in my mind for almost a year.

Matt’s face remains stoic as he places his glass cup down on the counter before rolling the sleeves of his white button up, up to his elbows and slowly walking over to me.

“why don’t you have a boyfriend then, hm? why just hookups?” He says quietly, the words rolling off of his lips so smoothly as he looks down at me.

“Because- you- you’d get mad and i just don’t want to deal with your attitude-“ I stutter my words out, my voice faltering as Matt continues to close the space between us.

“I don’t think that’s true sweetheart, you do whatever you want anyways. You always have. That’s what drives me so fucking crazy.” Matt says as his hand comes up to the side of my face. I can do nothing but stare up at him as his thumb runs over my bottom lip. I close my eyes and let out a huff of a breath that i didn’t know i was even holding in.

“I don’t want another man in this penthouse alone with you that isn’t me.” Matt says quietly as his eyes continue to scan over my face.

“Matt-“ I begin to grow angry and displeased with his words but he cuts me off by leaning down a few inches to my ear before i can finish my sentence.

“I want it to be me, y/n. You’re already mine anyways, just let me- let me be here for you.” he whispers seductively into my ears, sending a shiver through my body as he leans back up to look at me with desperate and pleading eyes.

“Matt, this will never work.” I say with hesitation. Deep down, i know it could work because now that i’m thinking about it, Matt is obsessed with me. Almost everything he does revolves around me, so i know he’d make it work.

“yes it will, y/n. I love you. I’ll make it work sweetheart. Please-“ He says as his eyes scan all over my face, looking for any of my emotions to read. I’ve never seen Matt like this. I’ve never seen him so- desperate…so vulnerable.

Before he can plead with me again, i throw my arms around his neck and place my lips on his quickly and passionately. He quickly reciprocates the kiss and his hands go straight to my hips as he lifts me up and places me on the kitchen island, i groan into his lips as the cold countertop hits my ass.

“My god-“ He groans out lowly before sliding his tongue into my mouth. My legs tighten around his waist and i can feel his hard erection pressing into my thigh.

When Matt feels my legs tighten around him, he lets out a low whimper that makes me audibly moan his name. He looks at me with swollen lips and dazed eyes.

“I want you- please.” I say with exasperation evident in my voice.

Matt groans into my shoulder before quickly pulling his belt through the loops as he grabs me by my waist and pulls me down off of the counter. I have no time to breathe or ask questions before he turns me over so my stomachs half way onto the counter and pushes my face against the cold granite countertop.

“Yeah?” Matt says with a lustful voice.

“Yes Matt.” I groan as he presses himself against my ass.

“Mm, can i?” he asks lowly as he fiddles with the waistband of my shorts.

“Yes- please.” I quickly give him my consent and he wastes no time as he jerks my shorts down along with my underwear. He immediately shoved himself into me without warning, making me yell out loudly as my pussy stretches, trying to accommodate his size.

“Matt! fuck!” I moan loudly as he bottoms out.

“So- so tight. You feel so good y/n.” He says with a hoarse voice as he slowly starts moving inside of me.

After a few moments, im starting to get used to his size as he slowly pulls out before shoving back inside again, this time he relentlessly increases his speed as i shout moans of his name. He grabs onto my scalp, getting a fistful of hair as he pulls my head up as he continues to ram into me.

“Did you make up your mind? are you ever gonna let another man fuck you like this?” He says loudly, having to almost yell over the erotic sounds poring from my mouth.

“Nobody ever again! I’m yours Matt, all yours.” I moan, my mouth gapes open when Matt hears my words and speeds up his pace even more somehow.

“I’m gonna fill you up, yeah? you’re gonna take every fucking drop.” He says sternly as his movements become sloppier.

“Matt please-“ I moan loudly as we both finish at the same time.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, ayden slowly pulls out while rubbing my back soothingly.

“I’ve thought about doing that to you for so fucking long.” Matt says with a small chuckle. I’m not even able to say anything, my body still trying to come down from my high.

[worriedvision]

He snaps at you for missing your anniversary dinner - Wriothesley

Angst, gender neutral reader. Lore may not be accurate solely because phones are used as a form of communication. Angst ending

--

When you had turned up to the nice restaurant, dressed in your finest to match how much you loved your boyfriend, you were looking forward to finally spending time with him. Being in a relationship with him was lacking with the general seeing each other, and dates were even rarer.

At first, you weren't overly concerned that he wasn't there yet - you knew all too well the issues that arise from his line of work. He would usually send you a message to let you know if something happened.

When 30 minutes pass, however, you begin to feel more eyes on you. Pulling out your phone, you call him. He picks up the phone after the 5th ring, immediately a sign something had gone wrong. You hear him huff and puff before he asks you abruptly what on this lovely planet you could possibly be calling about.

"Well, I've been waiting for you at-" before you can finish, Wriothesley cuts you off with a swear.

"Fuck sake, what part of me gave you the impression I would definitely have time for some silly anniversary dinner? If I don't show up after 30 minutes, surely that is the sign I won't be available unless I send you a message." He yells, the fact you happened to be on speaker instead of private mode projecting this to everyone in the restaurant. "Let me guess, 'oh, but I've made a fool of myself because of sitting like an idiot for this long for someone I happen to be romantically involved with', right? Well I've got some news for you, you delicate little flower. The world doesn't stop turning for you, there will always be more important things than you!" He finishes, you unable to hold back the embarrassed tears in front of the fully booked restaurant.

"I just wanted to spend tonight with you, is that too much to ask for? We've not seen each other that much, and I've been looking forward to this for months. It's sounding like you've not realised what date some work problems fall on, and you're taking out your frustration on me." You grumble out, the restaurant deathly silent as you continue. "You know, if you were honest about how you really felt about me from day one, I wouldn't have had my hopes up. There's plenty of fish in the sea that would love a much more casual relationship, but I'm not the one."

"...Wait, I'm -"

Before Wriothesley can continue, you hang up in him. It became clear to you that his role was too important for you to be a part of. You'd probably free up his timetable by ending things with him!

It didn't matter if he suddenly realised how badly he messed up, the truth of the matter was this wasn't a relationship where he could take you on many dates, but the important dates (e.g. birthdays, anniversaries) were the ones he would try his best to keep free. He didn't even tell you in advance today that he wouldn't be able to make it.

As much as it stung, you nod to yourself as you get up, the conversation in the restaurant finally building up again as you apologise for what everyone had heard.

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

______________________________

Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

______________________________

Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

______________________________

Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

______________________________

Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

______________________________

Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

______________________________

A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

______________________________

Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

______________________________

The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it’s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

[jinxthequeergirl]

The Ol switcharoo (pt 6)

Ford x reader / stan x reader

Summary:

Warning: I let Bill say 1 swear word (as a treat)

~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~

"The Dippers are a given so that's two points for me already." You said staring up at the night sky thoughtfully.

"Is that how this works?" Ford asked, eyes glued to you. It was early summer, you had convinced him to join you on the roof for some air. Though at this point he never really needed convincing when it came to something g you wanted to do with him.

"Yes now... let's see....there's scorpio, and Aries, serpent....there's triangulum austrael of course so that's..." You quickly did the mental math on how many points you had just awarded yourself, partly debating on how fair you wanted to make it.

"Ten points for me plus 5 for that shooting star!" You said pointing at the star crossing the sky. Ford looked up at the sky for the first time since you started speaking.

"What do you wish for?" He asked.

"You aren't supposed to tell." You rolled your eyes, falling flat against the blanket you lied out. "But if you must know." Ford followed your action, laying beside you, his fingers brushing your. "I wished that you get everything you want in life! And that you live a good, happy life."

"You wished for me?" He asked, blinking at you in awe. You grinned. "Of course, fordsy! I never use a wish on myself. Besides, I have everything I need right here." You said, grasping his hand in yours. Ford felt his stomach flip.

"Y/n i -" his voice cut out, and instead, all you heard was a terrible rining. You shut your eyes and covered your ears. Only when you reopened your eyes the white was gone, and you found you where instead laying in a pile of ruble. A familiar machine glowing bright as a man stepped through.

"Y/n!?"

Then it all came back to you. Of course, you weren't sitting on the roof with Ford. That was almost 40 years ago now. You were instead in the basement where your life felt like it was shattering into a million pieces

"Y/n it is you!" The man who came through shouted in excitement as you pushed yourself up to your feet. He raced twoard you engulfing you in an excited hug.

You froze, your brain still groggy from the damage the portal had caused, you'd be lucky to not have brain damage. "Who are you?..." You finally asked pushing the man off of you.

He was clad in tattered clothes, masks, and goggles covering his face.

"It's me! It's Stanford!" You stared at him in horror as he pulled the articles of clothing that covered his face away to reveal his identify to you.

You where in fact going to throw up.

"Y/n?" The man who said he was Stanford waved his hand infront of your face. You had stopped moving. How could this be Stanford when you were watching Stanford get up from his own ruble pile.

"I... where are the kids?" Was all you could think to ask backing away from him.

"Y/n? Kids? What are you talking about?"

You held a finger out and a warning look in his direction to make sure he stopped. "Mable, dipper, are you ok!?" You looked around and found both of them. "Thank God." You fell to your knees, and they ran into your arms.

"Y/n?are these your kid?"

"Don't! I don't want you near me or these kids! Either of you till I het some answers!" You said pushing the twins behind you, watching as the man who assumed to be Stanford stood next to the man who claimed to be Stanford.

The one dressed in black future garb looked hurt he raised his hands up to say something but stopped when you shushed him.

He waited 30 years to see you again, 30 years and your face was still the one he conjured up when he went to bed at night only to return home and to be treated like an alien by you?

"ANSWERS NOW OR I LOCK BOTH OF YOU DOWN HERE!"

"Y/n... kids... this is my brother, my twin brother, the real Stanford Pines." Stan said, finally catching Fords attention.

"The real Stanford pines?" Dipper asked.

"...What?...." Your heart sank. You felt a pit open up in your stomach. Stan came over and sat you down. You stared at him once again, unable to move. "Let me explain... I know you're going to hate me, and that's fine, just please."

You could have socked him in the mouth right then and there, but you nodded.

Instead, you listened to both of them bicker and argue. You listed to both of them tell two sides of one story, a story about a life you didn't even know they lived with each other. You began to wonder what parts of your life weren't lies and even tried to remember as much of your own past to try and make sense of this.

Then it came to you in the story everything Ford had to say about his time with you matched. Until he confessed to lying about going to see his family, until he told you he got into some scary stuff and had to call Stanley and how they fought and argued and stan accidentally sent him through the portal for 30 years while he attempted to fix it.

"You fixed the portal, Stanley? It wasn't y/n? The one person I asked you to call to come fix it and help?" Ford asked, annoance clear in his tone.

"Listen when y/n came home I didn't know how to tell her...tell you what had happened something had already gone on between you two and it would have just made you feel the same guilt I did...so I lied to you...I told you I told you I was stanford...that I had surgery to remove my sixth fingers...that I was done with this life and that you should be too because Ford said he didn't want you near anything in the stupid journals."

Stan looked at you with sincerity, a sappy look on his face you've only ever seen a few times, a look that read "I care for you trust me."

Ford caught onto the look his brother gave you and the way he held both your hands in his reasuringly and felt something bubble in his stomach, and he scoffed, realizing what was going on between you two.

You blinked at his hands in yours. "Stanfo-stanley pines..." stan smiled hopefully as you spoke. Before he could answer, you stood up and put all your remaining energy into your right hook that knocked Stanley over.

"30 years! Everything was a lie! I gave up MY LIFE because of a lie you told for 30 years! I had feelings for you and none of them...all of them because of a lie you told! What is wrong with you!? Why wouldn't come to me to bring back your own brother... my friend is beyond me!" Stanley looked away from you with guilt rubbing his face where your fist had connected.

"Y/n let's calm down I'm sure-"

"And you!" You said pointing at Ford. You felt the air leave your body when you turned to him and really got a good look at him since he came through the portal. He was the same for the most part, still tired he still had all six fingers on each hand. It was your Ford the way you always remembered him. And for a split second, you lost the speech you were about to shout at him. You wanted to run and hug him.

"You lied to me too!" You said instead.

"You just wouldn't listen to anything anyone had to say for your own good, would you!? Me? Fiddleford? Your own brother!? You are selfish, and I lost my life to that selfishness. You lost yours too because of it."

Ford grabbed your arm, stopping you from turning away. "Leave Me alone!" You growled yanking your arm from him. Before storming out of the basement to your room.

You slammed the door shut and sank to the floor. It was only a matter of seconds before you heard a knock behind you. "Go away! I don't want to see either of you!"

"Y/n, it's me and dipper!"

"Are you ok?"

"I just need to be alone right now." You replied softly. You could hear there was about to be protest before another set of footsteps appeared.

"Kids, why don't you go up to your room while I talk to my brother." You could tell stan was hesitating outside your door deciding if he should say anything else. Eventually, you heard him walk away.

You stared into the darkness of your bedroom, breathing deeply, trying to decide if you were the idiot for believing Stanley for so long. Your throat hurt from that awful feeling of wanting to cry.

Then something sticking out from underneath your matress caught your eye. You got up and snatched it, staring at the paper. Was this what that little demon was talking about, all of this and all he wanted was to be able to talk to you.

"Contact me BFF!"

You sighed. You couldn't possibly be miserable enough to summon a completely different entity just to talk to.

Right?

Before you could fully decide, you heard familiar laughter fill your room.

"Men, ain't shit am i right?"

As the little yellow fiend faced you, you couldn't help but let your thought wonder to the different universe where none of this happened. You wondered why it was happening and how you let it happen.

Then went through a cycle of anger and grief in a split second before turning to the shape.

"When did we become old men?" Stan asked his brother, trying to lighten the mood.

"You look like dad." Ford added, earn a laugh from the both of them, followed by a beat of silence.

"Listen Stanley I'll stay in the basement and try to clean up and handle remaining damages caused by the portal but when summer is over and the twins go home this becomes my house again, no more mystery shack and I get my identity back." Ford said in a matter of fact tone.

"Fine, but you stay away from those kids and while your at it....away from y/n too as far as I'm concerned they are the only family I got."

"You can't dictate on if I talk to MY friend or not-"

"You said it yourself 30 years ago. You didn't want her anywhere near whatever was after you back then, so keep it that way." Stan said it a pointed finger mimicking his brothers matter of fact tone before storming off. He paused outside your room only for a moment before continuing on.

That night, the Pines family house was silent. The living room was not busy with a movie marathon, the kitchen was not filled with dinner food, the yard remained empty.

The twins(lead by mable) worked on a plan to get their grunkles and yourself all on good terms.

Stanley had forgotten up until this point how lonely and cold a bed could be without you beside him.

You let off some steam, you ranted and ranted and ranted to your new "friend" till you thought you couldn't talk anymore and passed out cold on your bed.

Ford found himself back in the comfort of his own room. Right back, where he was 30 years ago, hunched over a desk scribbling something on paper.

"I would like to formally apologize-" He shook his head, crumbling the paper up and tossing it in the trash. He pulled out another piece of paper and tapped his head looking at the very worn and beaten letter addressed to you under his equally worn and beaten photo of the two of you he carried with him the whole time and sighed.

"I'm sorry..."

~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~

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[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 00

next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989. 43 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began.

Sir Reginald Hargeeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got seven of them, yes seven.

..

MARCH 21, 2019

I have to be at least somewhat proud of myself for lasting this long. I thought as I sat on the bus, not everyday you are born with magical powers and are destined to save the world from evil. Yes, hearing myself think that sounds crazy. But that's normal in my life.

I had reached my stop after a half an hour of sitting with my earbuds in, listening to nothing at all. I just wanted to seem unapproachable on the sketchy city bus.

My destination was a terribly designed office building, the space was so crammed and ugly it made me want to turn right back around and get on that bus again. But I didn't because I was trying to convince myself that this would be good for me, but I didn't believe my words.

I was about to have a therapy session with some middle-aged white lady who has glasses and tell her all of my life issues, starting every week at 5pm..

It's not like I had anything else going on, I haven't had work for days now. So I thought I'd give it a shot.

The waiting process made me anxious as hell, I finally got the courage to walk up to the front desk and gave the man who sat there my name. And now I have to wait for this lady to get done with some other patient.

I sat on a chair and frowned, like she is really going to be focused on "my" problems and not the 30 other people she sees today.

I swear it was only a second into me zoning out when I heard my name yelled. "Y/n L/n? It's so nice to meet you!" A woman said, when i looked up at her i saw the exact lady i was describing earlier to the closest details.

I let her lead me to a smaller room that looked way better than the lobby. It had two chairs, a water machine, some fidget items and a large window view of the city. Gloria, I learn to be the name of my therapist, asks me to sit with her.

She clears her throat, "I know this is our first session so you may not be the most comfortable sharing details. But I'd like to know a little bit about you if you're okay sharing."

“Well, I’m 29 years old and a home care nurse.” I say slowly. Hearing the words leave my mouth I knew I haven’t amounted to a lot in my years.

"Oh wow, 29? I would've never guessed that Y/n, you don't look a day over 21" Gloria complimented me i give her a tiny smile in return.

I'm not sure why that is, I get that a lot in my working field. Older women saying that they wished they looked as young as me.

"That's a great start for today's session." She smiles, "A little bit me is, you know my name already but I'm 56 years old since Monday. I have 3 children and a cat named Mr. Furball."

I regret what i said earlier because I think I already like Gloria and not just because of Mr. Furball. But the fact that she has a calming sense about her. I find myself listening to what she's saying, and I rarely do that with people nowadays.

"But I would like to hear more about your upbringing, how’d you become the fine young lady you are today?" She says.

Oh, she wants to hear about my childhood. I mean I knew she would ask but so soon, I'm worried about saying anything. So I told her that.

"I'm worried about opening up to someone about my past cause well I've never done it before." I said.

She hands me a cup of water. "That's okay Y/n, we can take it at your pace."

“I grew up in a small house with my mom and dad until I was twelve. When I was scouted by Reginald Hargreeves because of my unique abilities. And I've been there ever since I was 18 when I moved out to live on my own.” I waited for the burst of confusion I was about to get from Gloria. Not everyday one of the Umbrella Academy walks into your office.

“Oh wow…” she says, eyes wide. “You're one of those superheroes? That’s amazing wow.” She nervously chuckles “I’m sorry I’m normally not this shocked about things, and I hear a lot on the daily.”

“It’s okay” I say, staring at my hands.

She clears her throat. “I'm sure being apart of the Umbrella Academy was big but could you tell me about your life before that?”

I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, pictured my childhood in my brain and opened my mouth.

"Well, I'm sure to this day my father still thinks that my mother cheated on him, due to his "daughter's" virgin Mary-like creation since they were just newlyweds. He held it against my mother all of her life." I took a sip of water and continued.

"I'm not sure why he turned to alcohol. But that turned out as you could expect. He turned on everyone around him and acted like a beast. He regularly attacked my mom for anything she did wrong. But what made him more angry was that his freak of a daughter could heal her mother, after every beating."

"My mom told me before I left I had made her so much happier and in her words. She didn't even question these strange occurrences; she knew her baby was special." I smiled a bit.

I could tell that Gloria was painting a picture in her head of what I was describing too.

"And by the age of 8, I was standing up to my father, even if it didn't end so well. I'd get the beating instead but by the next day, my bloody body would be as good as new. On the surface at least, I had lots of internal issues from that time. But none of that stopped my father from trying to get equal with me.." I stopped talking after that.

My eyes could only focus on my right hand as it was picking at my left hand's skin. It was a habit I picked up as soon as I started to use my powers because I knew my skin would be right back to normal in the next few minutes.

"That's awful y/n I'm so sorry." She frowned. "Would you be okay with continuing?"

I blink up at her. “Yes, that would be okay,” I said. “Then there was this one day..”

..

17 YEARS AGO

“In five, four, three, two. This is Jim Hellerman, reporting live for channel 2 News outside of the Capital West Bank at Main and Sixth. A group of heavily armed men stormed the bank not three hours ago and took an unknown number of hostages.”

That was the big news update of September 2002, I remember. Well I don’t really have to think about it much because I was there with my mom at the bank. She planned on making some deposit when we were screamed at, not to leave by a man who had his gun pointed at us along with so many other civilians. He taped us up and told us to stand in a corner.

That was the first and only time I feared for my life. Police didn’t want them to start shooting, so they didn’t come into the building. Meaning that we were on our own and could die at anytime

One of the armed men walks into the scene unfolding. Sirens blaring, people getting shoved around and threats being made to the innocent.

“Now you’ve put me in a position where I gotta do something I don't want to do. Hmm?” He said talking to another person on his walkie talkie.

My mom brought me closer to her trying to use her body as a shield if things went south. And to us we thought they were about to be.

But strangely, a girl walked up to the man. She’d looked to be around my age in a school uniform and cartoon mask. Her loose curls bounced in the wind as she skipped up to him.

“Shit!” He screams putting his device down. Not noticing the girl until a few seconds after his outburst. “Hey, get back with the others.” He told her, trying to sound intimidating but she didn’t seem to fear him at all.

“I heard a rumor.” She spoke out.

He bent a little to reach her height and get in her face. “What? What did you say?”

She leaned in and cupped her hand to mimic whispering in his ear but loud enough for all of us to hear. “I heard a rumor that you shot your friend in the foot.”

Without any hesitation he did what she commanded and shot the nearest armed man who happened to be trying to rough up my mom. We screamed as he kept shooting.

“We just heard shots from inside the bank. It’s uncertain if any hostages have been harmed in that.”

“There’s some movement on the roof. Possibly law enforcement.”

A loud crash and a boy landed down from the roof. It was crazy he wasn’t harmed at all from that high distance. He was also wearing the same mask and uniform as the girl but he had blond hair. From where he landed he jumped on one of the robbers and started beating him to a pulp, and then throwing him out a glass window.

“Looks like one of the armed robbers had been thrown from the bank.”

Another boy with brown hair runs in from the opposite doors as the girl and yells. “Guns are for sissies. Real men throw knives.” He then threw one of his knives and it curved in the air hitting a robber no where close to where the knife had originally been heading. It was incredible.

“I've been in many hostage situations like this, and it can escalate very quickly.”

The original man hops on a table pointing his gun out at the two of the before seen children plus another one. “Get back you freaks” he says walking back and forth in fear.

“Hey, be careful up there, buddy.” The knife boy calls out.

“Get back now!” The man screams.

“Yeah, I wouldn't want you to get hurt.” The girls mocking voice says.

Right before my eyes another boy teleports behind the man, sitting criss-cross on the table. “Or what?” He said calmly.

The man turns around and shoots at him but before the bullets could hit he teleports again. This time standing up with his arms crossed, clearly not impressed. But the man tries to shoot again.

“Ooh! That’s one badass stapler!” The boy laughs. The man no longer had a gun anymore but a stapler placed in his hand by the kid instead. The boy shoves the stapler into his face and the big man falls back, head hitting the floor before his body does.

“Although there’s been no activity for a few minutes, we’re gonna stay live on location to make sure we don’t miss a thing. In this hostage situation at the Capital West bank.”

The five already counted for children make way for the last and shortest one to make his move. “Do we really need to do this?” He talks quietly.

The blonde one replies to him. “Come on, Ben. There’s more guys in the vault.” So his name was Ben huh?

Ben sighs, “I didn't sign up for this.” Before walking into the room with more people. Large black tendrils illuminated the room as men screaming could be heard behind the door. And a beast roars but then the sound stops and Ben walks out again, this time covered in blood and guts.

He breathes heavily. “Can we go home now?” I felt bad for him.

The kids untied our hands and told us to run. And once it was clear to go my mom started to run out of the doors thinking I was right behind her.

“Now we see the hostages. They— They’re free. They’re scared clearly but they do seem to be unharmed.”

But I was behind her trying to help this older woman who’d slipped on the floor. As I was helping her, the kids walked out too.

“People are coming out now. It’s not the armed robbers. These are schoolchildren in uniforms with masks on. Jim Hellerman, Channel 2 News.”

But there was one not accounted for robber, the one from earlier who had been shot in the foot. I started to run out and call out to my mom who was outside. When the man got up from the floor, cocked his gun and shot at the kids.

Fortunately, he missed them but the bullet hit me.

Questions being asked to the children stopped when they saw my body flail onto the floor outside of the bank doors. I was shot right in the chest. There was blood everywhere and it started to leak over to where the kids were standing. They turned around to see where it was coming from..

Everyone looked horrified and there was a bunch of screaming. Mainly from my mother who was wailing as she ran over to hold me to her chest screaming for me to wake up. And that will be engraved in my memory forever after this day, I never wanted to hear her like this ever again.

Police started to rush over but in a matter of minutes, a miracle seemed to happen. At least to the city that is. There was a yellowish glow around my chest and the blood seemed to have reversed back into my body. Even the stains on my blue dress were gone. The bullet even spit out of my chest; it was truly witchcraft.

My eyes then shot open as I started to breathe in and out.

I don't exactly remember what I felt during those moments but I'm sure I left those people around me stunned. After all this was their first look at powers.

I couldn't care what the paramedics were talking about above my body. I was focused on the 6 children looking at me bewildered as well as the old-looking man with them and whatever my mom was saying at the time.

I was put on a stretcher and rushed to a hospital for evaluations after the pandemics came but they never found anything. It was like everything was perfectly reattached.

But as I was leaving I could see the news reporters zeroing in on the kids trying to get the details on how these children saved the bank from thievery.

“Our world is changing.” The man spoke to the crowd. “Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary.” He said looking back at the children. But they weren’t paying attention, some were staring at my ambulance and some eyes were on the ground.

“I have adopted seven such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy.”

I now realize thinking back, the seventh person he was talking about was me..

..

PRESENT DAY

My mouth felt like it was moving faster than my brain so I took a pause and chugged the rest of my water cup.

Once again Glorias eyes were wide open. As she took some notes down in a notebook I never noticed beyond this point.

"Uh once I got home I remember the house phone noise filled my house with its nonstop ring, the other person on the phone would change my life forever when he came in.”

“And who was that person?" Gloria asked.

"Reginald Hargeeves, eccentric billionaire and caring father from what the public knew.." I rolled my eyes.

"So I'm guessing it wasn't really like that" she asked carefully.

"He was never a father really, more like a hard state-national basketball coach." She wrote that down.

"I guess it was a hard decision for my parents to make well, my mother. My father was ready to give me up as soon as Reginald stepped foot in my small house."

"And I'm sure they thought there was nothing bad about the offer they were given, he promised I'd be raised in a steady environment with the best schooling and my powers would be used for the greater good. And in exchange, my parents would get a large sum of money for my absence."

"What were you doing during this?" Gloria worried.

"I think I was just sitting right there next to my mom actually. I definitely didn't understand at that point what was happening to me. Still thinking about the events of that day.”

"And then I was being taken out of my only home in the blink of an eye. I resisted the people taking me, starting with screaming and then kicking and then running. Back to my mom's arms, Reginald himself had to pull me away from her. The deal had already been struck and there was no taking me back."

Now looking back at my hands I could only see small teardrops on my palms. Gloria reached for a tissue from the other side of the room. "Thank you," I said as I wiped my eyes.

"I like to think that my mom was upset that day but the memory has already started to fade as I reached adulthood.

You know after that day I was no longer 'Y/n L/n' no, I was known by my new name.. Zero Hargeeves."

..

I decided that was the end of my story, at least for now because I couldn't place the pieces together anymore. I was full-on sobbing at that point.

Gloria decided to bring up something more light to talk about next but I don't remember what it was because I'd zoned out and thought about the cat she'd told me about earlier.

The two hours seemed to fly by because the last thing I heard her say was if I didn't have anything else to talk about then that would be the end of the session. My legs seemed to move on their own as I walked out of that building. I would come back at the same time next week and honestly, I think therapy was for the best. I forgot about how I felt about all these things for the longest time.

I started the journey back to the bus stop, stopping to look in the windows of shops.

Shops like bakeries and bookstores and other things like that. Until I came to a stop in front of a store with a TV sticking out in the window.

My eyes scanned the screen and they went wide. The lady on the news had a somber expression as someone died. I was feeling sad for the person's family, but then I read the red-blaring headline.

The person who died was Reginald Hargeeves...

...

Aug 14 update:

If you'd like to be added to the tag list for rest of the series (starts at chapter 10) say taglist in the comments!

[dr-spectre]

So.... This game is 2 years old now huh?

Honestly... I don't think i have a TON to say about this game. It's just a great ass fucking video game that has given me a lot of fun and great memories!

This game came out during my final year of school, which is kinda funny considering that Splatoon 3 acts like a "finale" to a trilogy. It's interesting how those kinds of things work out eh? Splatoon 2 came out at the start of my secondary education, and Splatoon 3 came out at the tail end of my final year.

I remember thinking before the game came out, "why do we need a Splatoon 3? This is pointless, it's just more Splatoon 2." And then my mind was quickly changed once i got to play the Splatfest test fire and the actual game itself.....

I completed ROTM in such a short amount of time and i documented my reactions to my friends. Although i was spoiled in that Deep Cut had boss fights and Mr. Grizz was the final boss, ROTM still gave me a giant smile to my face all the way through. It was so fun, so charming and just a really good single player experience.

One of the things that i LOVE about Splatoon 3 is the vibe. I just love the location of Splatsville, i love the aesthetics, the lighting, the model improvements from Splatoon 2, the music, it's my favourite art style/aesthetic out of any of the Splatoon games by far. It just feels so polished, i don't know how to exactly describe it.

Also the fact that this game won best multiplayer game of 2022 over CALL OF DUTY! OVERWATCH 2 AND MULTIVERSUS MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY!

PEOPLE GOT MAD ABOUT THIS AND THAT MAKES ME WANNA EVIL LAUGH! All of those fucking depressed and sad Call of Duty players who whine and complain about how "wahh modern gaming sucks!! There's no good games anymore wahhh!! It's all microtransactions wahhh!!" BITCH! SPLATOON 3 IS LITERALLY THE GAME YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR!! Yet you won't play it because it's on Nintendo huh? Yeah... You're a fucking PUSSY!! YOU'RE WEAK!! You're SCARED to be seen as less of a manly man!! You only wanna play games with oily dirty buff men.... Yet you call others who play games like Splatoon gay? Hmm..... Sounds like you're a wittle insecureeeeee!!!!

Have fun rotting in microtransaction hell you LOSERS!! GAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways.... uh.... sorry....

I also fucking love Deep Cut too. I thought i wasn't gonna like these guys and i remember thinking when i first saw them "oh... okayyyy..."

But now? I love these bastards.

I love their dynamic and how they are bandits but they actually wanna help the people back in Splatsville. That is such a cool and unique take to have for Idol characters. The Squid Sisters are very cutesy and so are Off the Hook, but Deep Cut aren't. They are loud, messy, chaotic, in your face, rude, etc. They are about contrast and the character designers did a phenomenal job at conveying that theme via their backgrounds and looks.

Another thing that i love about Splatoon 3 is that it also acts as a celebration of things that have come before, Inkopolis Plaza and Square return as hubs, old colour combos from previous games act as loading screens, most of the music returns in the jukebox, it rewards long time fans for sticking around and for a long running franchise IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT to have that stuff!!!

Seeing the improvements in the model quality from Splatoon 1 to 3 genuinely makes me kinda emotional, it shows how far we've come in just a little under 10 years...

It really homes in on the point that... These characters, have grown up with us.... The Squid Sisters are about to reach their mid 20s, Pearl is nearly 30 fucking years old!!!

And the last thing i wanna bring up before i talk about the Grand Fest...

...Is Side Order.

This fucking DLC... My god... Being able to experience it by myself and just enjoy the stuff i was seeing, being able to SCREAM AND CRY AS MUCH I WANT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME DUDE!

When i got to the 10th floor in the tutorial and i saw Marina Agitando staring me down.... I did the loudest gasp a human could possibly do and my jaw was hung to the floor for a solid MINUTE!

Marina's first fucking dev diary made me cry and scream, THAT IS NOT A JOKE!!!! THESE CHARACTERS ARE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME!

And the final boss.... Made me cry, it broke me down, i was singing along to Ebb and Flow as best as i could, it felt like i was brought back to 2018, being in my room, listening to that song on repeat... I feel like a kid again....

I love this song... i love it so much... Like it's not the most hype finale song ever, but, the emotion behind it, the build up from Splatoon 2... The power this song has in it's meaning... It's some good shit man...

So yeah! I love Splatoon 3!!! It's my favourite game out of the series and anyone who is gonna jump into this game now is gonna have a LOT to chew on.

And... It's both sweet and sad that we're at the end. This is it... The moment we've been waiting for. The final Splatfest to end them all. The event 9 years in the making.

The Grand Festival...

I am extremely excited and so FUCKING NERVOUS for this Splatfest!!!! I know i am going to cry and be so overwhelmed with joy. Seeing the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook perform their old songs again after all of these years is gonna make me sob so loudly it's not even funny.

These characters genuinely mean the world to me and it's gonna be so fucking hard for me to watch their final major appearance and say goodbye. Cause after this, we don't know what's gonna happen. I know they will come back, they have to but... In what capacity? That's what I'm scared about...

So yeah, let's savior this moment when it eventually arrives, take all the time you need to be engulfed in the Grand Fest.

Thank you Splatoon 3, you have given me so much.... It's not time to say goodbye just yet but, i wanna watch you as you walk into the sunset with your head held high....

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about secret dating

requested by: various anons requests: I saw the "Forbidden Love" prompts, mostly about not admitting to themselves / each other, and it really made me yearn for forbidden love prompts where they're together but they have to hide it from everyone else; one sided “keeping a relationship hidden from coworkers”; can you post prompts about two oblivious people who are already dating but the other people don't know they're dating? dialogues or scenarios would do<3 thank you and love your prompt contents!

Feel free to use and reblog!

Part 1: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about confessing a forbidden crush Part 2: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about showing love without confessing

Setting/scenario:

#1 - keeping it secret at first because they didn't think it would turn into something that serious anyway #2 - enjoying the thrill of the secrecy #3 - being unsure whether that nervous feeling in their stomach is coming from their feelings for the other or the fact the relationship has to be kept a secret #4 - it's killing them that they have no one they can share their thoughts about their new relationship with #5 - making up the most random excuses to secretly meet up with the other #6 - screaming internally because they're having a date but they can't talk about it #7 - trying to act casual and unsuspicious in public when they're together but it's so hard #8 - teasing the other because they know how hard it is for them to keep their affection/arousal to themselves #9 - making promises that they don't have to keep it secret for much longer (but is it really realistic?) #10 - developing a method to communicate in code #11 - keeping it secret to protect the other #12 - keeping it secret until better times come #13 - making up for keeping it secret by extremely romantic/spoiling dates when they're alone #14 - wanting to fix everything before making the other their official s/o #15 - finding it the least stressful way to date to just keep it secret #16 - enjoying their little, happy secret because that way, no one can ruin it/take it from them #17 - it's like living in two completely separate worlds because their relationship is something that just exists between the two of them and the time together is always otherworldly #18 - wanting to stay in their happy dream world forever #19 - making plans for the future together, even though they don't know where they will be tomorrow #20 - they're keeping the other's love letters hidden under their pillow even though they know how risky it is

Dialogue:

#21 - "You're the most precious thing to me. So, I have to keep you as safe as possible." #22 - "Ah, I'm glad to have you finally to myself." #23 - "When I'm with you, it's like the earth stood still. I'm never so at peace." #24 - "You know, I really don't want to imagine what would happen if the others knew." #25 - "We have to be more careful. This was really a close call." #26 - "Do you really think it's necessary we keep it secret for much longer?" #27 - "I'm doing this for you. You're much better off when the others don't know." "You always say that. But I'm not sure if I still believe it." #28 - "It's not ideal but hell would break lose if it came out. I'm really glad we have the moments of peace. And intimacy." #29 - "Could you have imagined that we would someday end up like this?" #30 - "You're the best that happened to me. And I can tell no one about it. But I want to shout it from the rooftops." "Oh, you better don't. But you can always whisper it to my ear." #31 - "Isn't it fun to have this secret?" #32 - ^ "That's one way to call it." #33 - "I was really impressed how you handled that earlier. So cool. So smooth. So casual. As if I hadn't just made you whimper and made your eyes roll back minutes prior." #34 - "It's all worth it. I would risk it all again just to be with you." #35 - "Do you really think this is a good idea? They could find us." #36 - "You'll be the death of me." #37 - "To be honest, it's pretty funny to see you acting so unfazed and oblivious when we both know you were still thinking about me being naked." #38 - ^ "I always think about you being naked. It's not as if it's a new challenge to keep a straight face." #39 - "But you do know that I'm doing this all for you, right? Otherwise, I couldn't care less." "But you have to act as if you were in for the thing itself. They cannot connect you to me." #40 - "One day, I will carry you off to a place where it's just us. So, be prepared to be kindly abducted one day, alright?"

[mattitties]

Boyfriend, pt 2 - matt sturniolo

you guys asked, so i delivered (hopefully)

part 1 here

I left the party last night feeling on top of the world. I recounted everything to my best friend the second Matt had left and she came back to me.

“I came back from the bathroom and saw you guys totally hitting it off, so I just stood back and watched. I thought he was about to bend you over the bar and fuck you right there,” she told me. 

It’s now the next morning and I’m trying to distract myself and not think about the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet. It’s only 10 AM, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but as someone who doesn’t talk to boys literally ever, I am naturally very worried. 

As the hours pass and it’s now 2 PM, I go into my roommate’s room. “Why hasn’t he texted me? Do you think he was just fucking with me? What if I didn’t give him the right number and he’s now texting some other hotter bitch instead of me? What if I was-” I start to ramble before she cuts me off.

“Oh my god, shut up! It’s been like 14 hours, chill out! He’s gonna text you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We don’t know anything about him, he could be sleeping still or he could be having a busy day. Take a Xanax or something, good gracious,” she tells me, finishing just as my phone vibrates.

I check it absentmindedly, fully expecting it to be my mom or a spam text, but instead I see an unknown number.

Hey it’s Matt, just wanted to see when your free to hang out?

I let out a shriek and show my roommate my screen.

“Fucking told you!” she says excitedly before her face changes. “Oh boy, he’s one of the fuckers who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. You gotta fix that.”

“Oh for sure,” I say, starting to type in my phone.

hey :) i’m free tonight or tmr if either of those work

Tonight is good, I can pick you up around 6 and we can get dinner. How does Boa sound?

“Oh my god. He wants to take me to Boa,” I tell my roommate. I’m just about on the verge of vomiting everywhere.

“Oh fuck yeah! Mr. Moneybags over here!” she cheers.

that sounds great!

Sick, whats your addy so I know where to pick up my gf ;)

I give him my address, turn off my phone, and immediately go to my room to take an everything shower and get ready.

I’m finishing up my hair at 5:30 when I get another text: Leaving now, be there in 15 min. I made reservation for 6

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I was so confident around him last night, but now I feel like a completely different person. I’m terrified I’m gonna be an awkward mess when I get in the car and he’s gonna wonder what happened to the girl he met last night and I won’t even be able to eat I’m so nervous and–

Nope, I’m not worrying anymore. It’s gonna be fine. I triple check everything to make sure I look good, and finally he texts that he’s here.

I grab my bag, go downstairs, and open the front door to our apartment complex, where I’m met with a very familiar face standing next to it. He’s wearing a black short sleeve collared shirt, blue jeans, and a black baseball cap he put on backwards. Man, he looks good as fuck. 

He looks up when he sees me and smiles. “Hi,” he says. “Car’s right there. I was going to come in but then I saw I had to be buzzed into the building and I didn’t know which apartment was yours, so…” It seems that his confidence from last night has lessened quite a bit as well, as now he’s just awkwardly rambling. I find it adorable.

I shake my head and smile. “You’re fine, this is perfect.” I follow his lead to his car, and am surprised when he opens the passenger door for me. “Thank you,” I say as I get in, and he shoots me another quick smile before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. 

“So Boa, huh? You really are trying to show off your YouTube bucks,” I joke.

“Me and my brothers go there a lot, it’s not really that expensive,” he says. 

“Speak for yourself! I was looking at the menu and almost had an aneurysm at the prices!”

He laughs and glances at me. “Well lucky for you, you’re not the one paying, are you?”

We continue our banter for a few minutes before there’s a lull in the conversation. “Do you wanna put some music on? Here’s the aux cord,” he tells me, pulling out a cord.

“Oh,” I say, immediately regretting all my life choices. I am historically NEVER on aux in any situation because my music taste is comprised of Taylor Swift, dad rock, and depressing music. “Um… you may not like my music. We can just play whatever you like.”

He looks at me wearing a tiny frown. “What! You’re the passenger, you get aux. Whatever you play will be fine.”

I sigh dramatically as I plug my phone in and queue Taylor. “Okay, but if you don’t like it, just remember I gave you a chance to say no.” He nods. I watch his face to gauge his reaction as “The Story of Us” starts to play, and I roll my lips into my mouth to hide my laughter when he recognizes the voice. 

“Yayyyy,” he says sarcastically. “I love Taylor Swift…”

The rest of the drive consists of me explaining to him that if he was willing to give her music a try, he would definitely enjoy her music. I was fully expecting him to laugh it off and come back with some smart ass comment about her as nearly every other man does, but he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. “You’re right,” he told me. “Maybe we can listen together and you can show me more of her stuff!”

I think I fell in love right there.

When we arrive at Boa, the man nearly eats shit rushing around to open the passenger door for me, and walks slightly ahead of me to get the door for the restaurant. Neither of us have any ounce of the same flirty energy we had last night, but there’s no awkwardness at all. I still can’t believe this is happening. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect gentleman, we have so much in common, and he’s actually into me? It seems far too good to be true.

“So,” I say when we get seated, “what exactly made you feel the need to come up to me last night? Did I really look that uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you looked like you were about ready to sink into the floor. I mean, in all honesty, I was kind of eyeing you all night but I didn’t have the courage to come up to you, so I guess I sort of used that as an excuse to do something. Plus saving you from creepy guy and all,” he replies.

“Well, thank you, no matter what your reasoning was.” I look around the restaurant. I feel so out of place, it’s disgusting. I’ve only lived in LA for a couple months, so I still feel like I don’t belong, especially when I end up in the same restaurants that people get papped outside of. But somehow, even in a place like this, I feel oddly safe and at peace with a man that I met not even 24 hours prior. 

I’ve never been much of a great conversationalist; if I’m in a one on one conversation, the other person needs to be a rambler for it to not be awkward. But he’s not a rambler, and we both are just so invested in what the other person is saying that it’s somehow a never ending conversation. We have so much in common – our love for movies, Legos, journaling, us both attempting to get back into reading after going so long without it – I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s so refreshing, and it’s terrifying. I know I’m going to fall for him fast. I may be already, but I can’t be. We just met. 

He pulls me out of my trance by repeating his question. “You ready to go?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, thanks for paying,” I smile as I get up. 

“Of course! What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t pay on our first date?” he jokes. 

“Ohhh, our first date? Does that imply there’ll be a second?” I ask as I get in the car.

“Would you like there to be a second?” 

“I mean I guess…” I smirk at him. We’re both looking at each other, smiling ever so slightly. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and I’m 99% sure he wants the same based on the way his eyes are shifting focus from my eyes to my lips. I’m about to lean in when –

“I should get you home.”

Oh. I nod. “Yeah… yeah, probably.” I sit back in my seat.

He turns on the car and Taylor Swift blasts through the speakers. “JESUS–” he yells, turning the volume down as we both start laughing. “I know I said you could show me her stuff but let’s take it down a notch, god damn!”

We don’t talk at all during the drive home, but it’s nice. Just the music in the background, and subtle glances between us every so often. When we pull up in front of my apartment complex, he parks the car and turns it off, then starts to get out.

“You don’t need to get out, it’s okay,” I tell him.

“Well I have to make sure you get into your apartment safe, don’t I?” Again, what a gentleman. I didn’t even think people like him existed anymore. I smile to myself and lead the way, taking him up to the 4th floor and down the hall to my door. “I guess this is where I leave you?” he asks.

“Unfortunately, this is where you leave me.” I’m looking up at him, he’s looking down at me. I can tell he wants to say something, and I hope it’s what I think it is.

He opens his mouth, takes a sharp inhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Bingo. I smile and nod, holding his jaw lightly in my hand. He takes my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other, and our lips collide softly in a matter of seconds. I haven’t kissed many guys, but they’ve always felt just a little off and I never knew why. But this? This feels right. It’s gentle, but our tongues slip into each other's mouths as the kiss grows deeper. I know I need to stop this here, as much as I don’t want to. I give in for a few more seconds before I pull back. 

“I, um… I need to go inside,” I tell him, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Okay,” he says, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll text you, because yes, there definitely will be a second date.”

“Good.” I kiss him one last time before I unlock my door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

———————————————————————

i probably won’t do a part 3 because idk how to keep it interesting from here but if you have other fic requests lmk and i’ll do my best 😚