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#(and I never knew that much to start with tbh)
seasons-of-death · 1 day
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bf!jj helps kook!reader to ride a bike
warnings: none! fluff
i’ve been having writer’s block BUT i randomly got this idea and wanted to write it, i really miss writing fluff tbh :(
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the moment jj heard you say those words, it was like a lightbulb went off in his head.
"i'm not even sure i know how to ride a bike anymore."
his eyes almost bulged out of his head like he was a cartoon character. you two had been laying in your bed, the boy's long fingers carding through your hair as you complained about how you had to take your car to a mechanic because it had been "making weird noise lately", and jj had simply chuckled, saying "well, sounds like you're gonna have to do it old school." when you furrowed your brows in confusion, he said, "you know, ride your bike, like when you were a kid."
that then led to you telling him about how while you had learned how to ride a bike when you were a kid, you hadn't done it in nearly ten years, and weren't even sure if you knew how to ride a bike, and the look he got on his face made you immediately regret ever telling him.
two days later, he appeared in front of your house, next to him a blue bicycle with a wicker basket.
"what's this?" you asked with a small pout on your glossy lips, making jj grin. "what, you don't even know what a bicycle looks like anymore, fancypants?"
"you know what i mean, jay." you crossed your arms in front of your chest, and the boy made his way over to you, putting his hands on your forearms and practically dragging you to the bicycle.
"i just borrowed this from sarah." he shrugged, ringing the bell before looking at you, an unsure look on your face, "come on, it's not like it'll kill you."
"how do you know? people die from trying new things all the time. all you know, i could be unable to break, and then a car runs over me. or i could fall off the bike and break my arm. or, what if i crack my skull on the pavement?"
"well, this is not a new thing for you. this is just you... trying something again after a long time. come on, baby. don't be a pussy. and i did forget to get a helmet, but..." jj mumbled, taking his cap off his head and placing it on yours, a self-satisfied grin on his face, "this ought to soften the blow."
"you know you can be fined for not wearing a helmet?"
"well that'd be accurate 'cause you've got fine-"
"do not finish that sentence, maybank."
"sorry." he scratched the back of his neck, watching as you got onto the bike, his usual smirk taking over his lips. you took a deep breath, looking down at your feet, placing one of them on the pedal while the other one still rested on the pavement. "just take deep breaths. it's muscle memory like... well, riding a bike."
you didn't even need to look at him to know that he had that usual stupid grin on his face, so you simply kicked back the kickstand, and put your other foot on the pedal, and like jj had said, it was muscle memory; all the memories of you racing on bicycles with your friends when you were younger came back to you, and it was like you'd never stopped doing it.
until it wasn't.
you weren't even sure what had happened, but as you were trying to brake, your balance went off and the bike started wobbling, and before you knew it, you were on the ground with your knee covered in blood, the red liquid now dripping onto the concrete.
"shit!" jj rushed over to you, kneeling down next to you, and without even thinking, he took off his shirt and wrapped it around your knee as a makeshift-bandage. he scratched his chin, looking at you with an apologetic look. "are you alright, babe? i really shouldn't have-"
"i wanna try it again." you stated with a grin, much to his bafflement.
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idleoblivion · 3 days
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"Life Cycle of a Maggot" Idia Shroud x GN Reader
Synopsis: The evolution of your relationship with Idia, as compared to a fly.
A/N: I guess I was kind of experimenting with this one, tbh I don’t know how great I wrote his character but enjoy the angst at least. 
Word Count: ~1.7k
Warnings: angst, Idia/reader both implied to be depressed
Phase 1: Egg
Flies deposit eggs into rotting organic material. 
…and there couldn’t have been a better description of him when you found him. Rotting material. 
He spent nearly every waking moment immersed in technology. It felt natural, always having been surrounded by it. It almost felt like home. 
Only almost though. Because nowhere truly did anymore. 
He could never find solace from the painful memories in the forefront of his mind. Despite his best efforts they always stayed there. He couldn’t think of ‘home’ without thinking of his failures, of his regrets, of Ortho…
So he stayed online. In a space he could control, where everything worked the way it was supposed to, where there was no school or anxiety or brother to remember. He neglected himself, his body, in favor of the computer screen. 
He couldn’t name a single other student he considered a friend, and as much as he needed his own space it had started becoming lonely. He couldn’t remember if he’d gotten all of his homework done, and he didn’t particularly care. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept right. Or if he had even had a full meal on any given day. He certainly felt like he was rotting, and he was sure he looked it too. 
And then you came into the picture. 
He knew of you before you met, he’d heard of you in the short moments he spent with the student body. You hardly spoke a word to anyone and could barely bring yourself to make eye contact. Notorious for being shy, nobody could list a single other thing about you.
When he begrudgingly had to partner up with someone for a potionology assignment, he looked around the room with a knot in his stomach. Everyone was finding their partners easily, forcibly reminding him of the wall of isolation he’d created for himself. While he was debating whether or not to just ask for 0 and move on, you were walking up behind him. 
When you lightly tapped on his arm to get his attention, he turned to find your nervous face staring down at the floor. 
“Do you have a partner yet?” He shook his head no at you. “Will you be mine then?”
He considered his options. He could risk getting stuck with someone random, take the 0 like he wanted to before or give you a shot. He didn’t know anything about you, but the more you uneasily rocked back and forth, the more certain he felt you’d be someone he could handle personality-wise. At least compared to your other peers. And unless he wanted to risk ending up like Leona, he really needed to get his grades together. 
“…S-sure.” Is all he offered in response. But that seemed enough for your shoulders to drop in relief, and for you to finally look at him. The small smile you wore confused him, why would anyone be happy they got stuck with him? 
“Thank you. We could just call to work on it if you didn’t want to meet for real.”
That was…surprisingly considerate. He guessed he made the right choice after all. 
Phase 2: Maggot
Maggots will eat the rotting material around them. They thrive in their environment of decaying matter. 
Calls about the project turned into much more rather quickly. It felt like one day you were a stranger, the next you were pouring your hearts out to each other.
Misery loves company, and your company was inexplicably inviting. You made him want to unleash everything he suppressed. All the suffering his pride wouldn’t let him show, he wanted to share with you. Somehow he just knew you’d get it, you’d understand what nobody else could.
He isn’t proud of the trauma-dumping that ensued at the end of a meaningless hang out one day. He’d granted you access to his room, to meet in person for the first time. The reality of which set in immediately after you arrived. That you had accepted his invitation to his space, that he wasn’t alone in that moment. And an innocent “Are you alright?” from you ended up being enough to break him.
He cried, he gasped for air, he thought he remembered screaming but he wasn’t sure. He fell to the floor with his head in hands, sobbing and blubbering about everything weighing on him. He knew he blew it big time, melting down the second you showed up. He knew you’d leave, you had no obligation to help his pathetic self after all.
He didn’t expect tears from you as well. It shocked him so much his crying nearly halted.
You detailed your own struggles to him. Your own struggle to fit in and feel accepted, and the loneliness that came with it. Your own regrets, things you’d give anything to change. You sat across from him on the floor, tears falling gently as you rambled and rambled.
He didn’t know what came over him, but he put his hand out. He flinched when you actually took it, but didn’t let go. He managed a meager smile as he relished in the peace he’d found with you. You sit in silence for a while.
He’s visibly relieved when you agree to try hanging out again sometime. Relieved he’d finally found someone to rot with.
Vent sessions became regular, though not as emotional as the first. You became his only confidant. You were almost always in his space or talking to him online. It was almost obsessive, and he loved it. 
You both fell further into solitude, into your own despair, but together. You thrived in it, and so did he. It was the best kind of miserable he had felt in a long time.
Phase 3: Pupae 
Maggots then encase themselves in a puparium, where the maggot's body will begin changing. 
Of course, it couldn’t last forever.
You started hanging out with him less, turning him down when he’d invite you to play games or vent like you had been. He tried not to take it personally, remembering how much he loved to self-isolate when he was especially down. Maybe you were going through something extra rough right now, and you wanted your space from him. He’s down the same to a lot of people, so he couldn’t blame you. 
Until he realized how naive it was to think that was what had you busy. He was rushing to class to turn in a paper he had to finish without your help when he spotted you in the hall. 
It was nothing like the first time he saw you. Or any time he’d seen you when you two were alone.
You had people around you, a small group. They spoke to you. You spoke to them. You weren’t looking at the floor, you were looking at one of their faces. You laughed at something they said and he felt his chest tighten.
Worst of all, you were positively beaming. 
He immediately felt bad for thinking that. He should want to see you smiling like that. If he cared about you, he would want you to be branching out, making new friends. Especially when you had expressed how alone you felt. 
He did care, just maybe not in the way he was meant to.
Because he couldn’t bring himself to be happy for you. Because he recognized where this was going to head immediately.
You were changing. Somehow, some way, you were finding the strength to grow. Strength he knew he would never find himself.
He didn’t bring it up the next time you met in his dorm. But he felt it, the difference in the atmosphere. Like his negativity and sorrow didn’t reach you the same way anymore. Not like you didn’t care, but like you couldn’t relate the same way. But he pushed those thoughts down for as long as he could, not wanting to admit the reality of the situation.
You were changing. And he simply was not.
Phase 4: Fly
Eventually, a fly will emerge from the casing to leave and continue on with its general life cycle. 
Rain checks turned to missed calls turned to ghosting altogether. 
His pride wouldn’t let him beg for your attention, but he missed it. He mourned it. Grieved the friendship that really never was, but meant so much to him.
He resented you for it, but a part of him couldn’t blame you. You were nothing like him now.
He spent even more time in his room if that was possible. But on the rare occasion he’d leave for class and spot you, you always had people with you. People who could be funny and casual, people who could hold a conversation without saying something depressing, people who you could do activities outside of school with. People who weren’t him, or anything like him.
You were kind enough not to say it, but he could see it with his own eyes. How he had become a burden to you, a weight on your chest. While you were trying to improve yourself he only ever got worse. 
You weren’t content to rot, clearly. You had this ambition, this drive to escape the hell you had created for yourself and start over. You would always understand him and his pain, but you had pushed through your own misery and found yourself happier. And with no room left for him and his lack thereof.
You were moved on. Because what was temporary weakness for you was eternal for him, like his curse.
Had he known that from the beginning, he would’ve never gotten involved. He had to figure out what you were, but he knew right from the start what he was.
You had flown away, sprouted wings and left the rot behind. Like you were meant to.
And he was a hungry, starving maggot. And always would be.
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daeyumi · 10 months
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au Impa 👁️💧
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kirby-the-gorb · 2 months
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Thanks for thinking of me! ___________ いつもリブログありがとです!
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thank you for the drawing! your kirby is very cute <3
絵をありがとう!あなたのカービィはとてもかわいいです ❤️
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I suspect it’ll take me a hot second before I can get this sketch right, so here is the wip just for fun hehe
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themyscirah · 1 month
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Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this
#like damn if i really was 100% right about this before i even knew what i was talking about#anyways one of the many many problems with new 52 wonder woman is the fact that diana isnt religious enough#also that azzarello and chiang are incapable of imagining a feminist utopia which is the original genre that wonder woman comics were based#in in the same way that batman for example is connected to the noir genre. and the mythological aspects of the og wonder woman comics were#in fact a common framing aspect of the feminist utopia genre of the progressive era (with many of the deeper greek mythology aspects being#established as the foremost ww genre later on)#anyways this failure to understand this layering of genres in the ww mythology i believe is the principle contributor of why this run which#is popular with many and has such a footprint in other more mainstream media is hated by so many longtime wonder woman fans in that it not#only neglects but actively goes against key parts of her premise#a comparison could be made to a superman run that is heavily based in science fiction and exploring deep sci fi genre plots without any#understanding by the creators of why it matters that superman is champion of the oppressed and disrespecting that core part of him by in#some ways making him actually go against that in service of the high sci fi genre plots and conflict#and then ofc to translate better in this reality this run would function like a can of worms in that while dc in comics would eventually#course correct back to the base version the public opinion would become divided and especially adaptations would need all the canon changes#from that run torn viciously out of their hands bc they refuse to LET IT GO#anyways yeah teehee i swore to someone id never read it but i needed it for fic research purposes unfortunately so i started it. only read 6#issues but meh. first one wasnt terrible tbh id read worse but after that i got much more unhappy#anyways they simply dont understand why people like the amazons or why people should like the amazons. which again is like half the freaking#point bc like. feminist utopia genre. but i digress#its bad but its bad in a way that proves me right about why its bad so at least theres that#someday when i post my rebirth ww fic ill post the analysis of nu52 ww and the comparison to the beat movement/ginsberg that ive got in my#drafts. finally get that A in comic book literary analysis#blah
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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parvuls · 1 year
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okay wait I'm writing an actual post so I can start handling all these emotions
#in the tags#because I am extremely aware of the privilege involved in buying extra content and even getting it shipped so fast#if seeing madison/kickstarter talk bothers you feel free to ignore this post! it'll likely be my last one on the subject.#but the thing is: three and something years ago I was deeply depressed and confined to my house because of covid#I hadn't been active in any fandoms in 3-4 years at that point and I started to think I'd never feel this passionate again#and then I read omgcp in a fit of insomnia one night#and then waited with baited breath for the last episode to go up so I could write a completley canon compliant madison fic#I spent six months obsessively writing it.#it was my first long fic in 5-6 years and working on it honestly - genuinely - dragged me out of that bad place.#when I posted it I knew one day it'd be jossed by canon madison but I was so okay with it. I couldn't WAIT#and tbh I thought it'd happen much sooner than it did#but now we're finally here and it weirdly feels like a big moment for me#like a: look where we were and where we're at now kind of moment. like a: end of an era kind of moment.#by no means the end of my omgcp era#but I think a part of me just felt unfinished as long as this moment was still unfulfilled#anyway. if you were here when I was completely new to this fandom and just started talking about that 2015 summer nonstop#just know you were a major part of my mental health journey during covid and that I appreciate it so fucking much#rip madison fixation 👋 you've served me well#text
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featherymainffins · 3 months
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I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.
#I don't want to keep a snail as a pet because theyre kinda prone to shell injuries#and then they die. id be in a constant state of stress#i can't have tarantulas even though i really want to for the same reason - spiders molt and they can actually fuck up#and they fuck up kinda frequently. and if they fuck up they die#because they either tear off their organs in an attempt to free themselves or they essentially turn themselves to stone#or they suffocate. i know that I'd be extremely stressed every da#id be like 'what if it happens what if they fuck up molting i have to stand here on guard in case they start molting and mess up'#because sometimes if you're really fucking lucky you CAN manage to save them. but you have to#be there on time and you have to pray. because its much easier for you to kill them than save them#and i would never forgive myself for that#in general it's very stressful for me to keep pets who don't have very clear signals of joy and displeasure/pain because i#constantly worry about possibly taking bad care of them and them being unhappy#i loved my hamster but i did breathe a breath of relief when she died of old age because every day with her was just#so unbelievably stressful for me. i wouldn't help but be preoccupied with trying to figure out if i was doing something incorrectly#if i was a bad foster parent to her if she was content etc etc#she was a great hamster but the experience was very much 0/10 for me i would never own a hamster again#in the same vein i probably couldn't have a tarantula due to this as well.#plus tbh I didn't even want a hamster my parents got her for me because they wanted me to feel obligated not to kill myself#they said that if i killed myself they wouldn't care for her and she'd die so i had to stay alive.#a part of me knew they were bullshitting but it still freaked me out super hard and made me unimaginably anxious about#getting run over or anything happening to me and paradoxically that made me even more suicidal and depressed#didn't help that my mother didn't even believe in her own plan and accused me of planning to kill myself AND my hamster#she accused me of that several times. I've always had a lot of intrusive thoughts about hurting animals so it#made me break down and self harm every time. obviously that made my mother even angrier and many a time it led to#her accusing me of being a danger to her and others#if she felt particularly hysterical she screamed i was just like my father and that she feared me as much as she had feared him#when he still had a gun. you can imagine how that made me feel considering i jsed to have nightly night terrors about my father#killing my mother.
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kxllerblond · 8 months
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the 'clark has father issues' development over the years has been catastrophic
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aeide-thea · 1 year
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disjointed thoughts abt like. various anti-'normalization' takes i've seen and how actually i think like. expanding the range of things people are aware of & comfortable with is in fact often a helpful step towards becoming less dependent on the concept of normality to determine acceptability, because once you understand that normal isn't in fact a narrowly fixed range but is subjective and can be widened, it becomes a much softer yardstick & less of a bludgeon
#this connects in general to like. pushback against stances that i know from personal experience to have been valuable stepping stones#in the process of broadening my thinking#like idk if some ppl really never knew what it was like to feel totally ruled by social pressure to be Normal or if they've just forgotten#but i think like. our efforts at radicalization have to contain room & compassion for ppl who are starting from very normie places#thinking also abt like. tiktok(?) shit like 'neurospicy' here which like. is WAY too twee for me personally#and i def get where ppl are coming from who feel like it's bc the kids are scared to claim words like disabled#but it's like. no shit the kids are scared to claim words like disabled???? i would have been too??#having a stepping stone out of Normality that they can feel good about for themselves is like. good in those circs imo!#like there's just. SO much pressure to fit yourself into the Normal box if it's even halfway possible#where 'possible' VERY much includes 'shutting yr eyes to‚ or even cutting off‚ the bits that don't fit'#like. i thought i was a cishet teen! i had body worries i now think are incredibly stupid! Normal absolutely had power over me!#and it's just like. idk. if under that kind of crushing pressure ppl are coming up with cutesy little escape hatches?#seems defiant and resourceful to me tbh!#anyway this is 100% an off-the-cuff beta edition post and may have bugs#but i just kinda think the general concept of like. stepping stones. evolution. learning rather than always-already-knowing.#could use a little more love than it sometimes gets
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bro he is literally just laying there saying whatever in their head talking about anything and everything but not sleeping.
#thinking about junior high#specifically it started with me saying i should relearn the clarinet i should get one again#then somehow to getting stuff i missed from teachers 'before or after class' because they were busy or i didn't want to be late for class#then to how i was usually on time so i had like no reason to worry#except for pe because i had math all the at the bottom of the junior high hallway then pe at the entire other end of the school#and we had to change but he was pretty lenient and i was usually one of the first kids out#also how most of us left our stuff in the locker room and not the lockers because they were a hassle and somehow we never had any theft#then i thought about how this kid next to my actual locker in fifth grade (no locks) took one of my pokemon magnets im pretty sure#and i never got it back#then i remembered another thing that happened in the fifth grade hallway#where that guy i had a crush on gave me a golf ball he found in his bookbag#well he asked if i wanted it and i said yes (like having things and liked him) and im pretty sure it stayed in my bookbag the entire year#if i knew which bookbag i used that year and if i still had it it might still be in there tbh#also when i was thinking about band i couldn't think of my study hall in 8th because i quit and then suddenly i membered#and idk how i forgot she was like my fav teacher and i had so much fun cus my 2 best friends (like the waterparks song?) were also in it#and since it was like the end of the day she let us like talk and mostly do what we wanted if we didn't have any late work#and me and andi probably spent like 75% of it doodling our little oc guys#i think our other friend spent a lot of it drawing aswell.#wait. now that i think about it. was she in our study hall? doubting myself all of a sudden.#yeah she was because we walked home together and i dont remember waiting in the hall for her or anything#i do remember that when me and her were still in band andi came and got us basically because we always took our time#i miss them :(#winona has something to say
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coldvampire · 1 year
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ngl. unconsciously disengaging from this website has been hdjfkg kinda good for my mental health overall? like yes im still dhdjfjf left out of a lot of stuff BUT i see it less so that means my feelings don’t get as hurt lmao. functionally that’s more or less the same thing probably?
going recluse isn’t what i ever want to do (& I didn’t even do it on purpose, just got busy and had a low social battery because of it) but aside from me being overall comfortable by myself, it just kind of seems like it’s where people are content to leave me. doesn’t feel great but it is what it is.
#not rly on discord servers for the same reason tbh#got tired of trying to interject my awkward attempts at participation#I mean people can still @ me but i just don’t have it in me for the server stuff#my social perception is low enough that I can’t tell what the right move is but high enough I know when I fucked up#idk if I’m just not built for larger groups or if it’s something else :(#wish I knew so I could work around it but it’s not exactly a perfect experiment#so w/e. I do kind of miss it a bit but I also feel like my absence doesn’t make a difference#which is a sad thought in itself but that’s how it goes#idk I think in general I’m in a weird spot where I make an impression but it’s never a vital one to the dynamic ?#I do sometimes doubt like. what I bring to interactions in general lately#doesn’t feel like much if I’m being honest. I mean I think I’m at least moderately interesting but djfjf who knows#weirdly settled with myself as a person but I’m thinking that cost is probably an isolating one#knowing a lot of people just never breaking past that surface level#sucks. not much else to describe it as.#idk I’m sure this is bad for me but I think I’ve kind of already messed up first impressions#it’s so stupid but I keep encountering the same dynamic of either we Click fairly quickly or we just don’t really at all#and I feel like that’s wrong of me bc I know some people need time but unless that initial click happens I just seem to falter??#idk idk idk I guess lately it’s like I feel alone/lonely but I don’t feel like I’m wanting to return to anything#bc I never felt like I really had a place there to start with#weird feeling. very weird feeling.#logging back off now dhjfkf
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fingertipsmp3 · 9 months
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I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above
#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day#sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier)#but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing#i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing#the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d#like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing#now… now i can’t even think of her. again#it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN#what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up.#that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life#the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades#i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke#and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know#i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel#i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint#cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies#off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat#and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere#and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on#i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now#so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing#i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable#like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need#mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol#personal
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11ofcrows · 2 years
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It always surprises me when people don’t know my zodiac sign because I feel like I fit the stereotype very well, and I even have a tattoo of the constellation
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pureconancommentary · 2 months
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Let him call, because again, Agasa was the one who set up this secret, he should be the one defending it. Again, the parent shows up out of the blue here, but I kinda wish they didn't. Because Shinichi's the protagonist, he has to deal with everything in the end, but I want Agasa to be confronted. Have him make up more lies. Bring in the parents slower, have them contact Kogoro to arrange for Conan to stay long term and work out payment. Ran asks about the parents and Kogoro is like 'oh it's fine, they're covering his stay', and Conan's going '...? ???????'. Agasa denies having anything to do with it on Yuusaku's orders. Conan frets about it for a while and they actually see how he'd react to potential unknown danger. And then spring the 'kidnap him' trap to fully show him what could possibly happen.
But I guess just 'kidnap him and potentially give him a heart attack to prove that death is a real possibility' without any setup or warning is fine, too, sure.
#ch 49#vol 5#I actually don't mind the kidnapping as much as many other people#But now I've made a more fleshed out scenario in my head that I'm sad isn't how this goes#But mostly I just want more acknowledgement that Shinichi never set up any of the identity drama#Agasa made up the story; he's the one who put secrecy in Shinichi's mind; and if there's any poking at the story; Agasa should be defending#Instead he just sits at home not having to deal with anything except occasional vents from Shinichi#And I guess fiddle with gadgets that might help#But really he was just 'oh you shrunk; well that sucks but no you're not staying with me; go with Ran'#Like; I know he justifies it with Ran's dad running an actual detective agency and thus can potentially get criminal info#But lbr; both of them knew that Kogoro wasn't going to get anything useful from where he was at the time#And even if he told Shinichi to increase Kogoro's reputation; there wasn't any planning on how to make that happen#Which almost got Shinichi killed /immediately/ after getting shoved onto Ran#Agasa doesn't even know about that near-death experience; and it would 100% be his fault tbh#Many times Shinichi was going to die would be because of Agasa insisting on secrecy and giving Shinichi the responsibility-#Wait; no; hold on; he might have not actually been trying to help Shinichi hunt for the org#He might have just shoved him into a place he was relatively certain would be safe#And told Shinichi he could just make Kogoro famous if he wanted to put the detective in a position to get info#/But he wasn't actually supposed to be able to do it - Shinichi wasn't supposed to succeed at doing that/#He was sent into hiding with a former cop; Agasa probably didn't realize he'd actually be in the fringes of BO activity#Or that Shinichi is just /that/ reckless when it came to crime solving#It was supposed to be a placebo while he and probably the parents tried to think about what to do#But Shinichi not only gets very close brushes with death on a regular basis#He can't even keep up the kid act with Ran and needs help#Agasa took his eyes off the teen child for two seconds and found that he started a bonfire of danger somehow#(Look at that; yes; I /can/ think myself in many circles to make almost anything justified)
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