#just know you were a major part of my mental health journey during covid and that I appreciate it so fucking much

[parvuls]

okay wait I'm writing an actual post so I can start handling all these emotions

[turtle-toe]

My experience with and opinion on fat acceptance

I am currently 16 years old and 5'6, 169 pounds. I need to tell my story.

I've been fat or chubbier my entire life due to poor eating habits taught to me early on. "Oh, you want thirds on that giant plate of yours? Sure, go right ahead." But I never really noticed until about 5th grade and really got self conscious in 6th grade. But, I was healthy. I'd say I was around 5'3 and 155-160 pounds. I moved around a lot, I was running with no thought about breath control every day at recess. But I still sucked in my guy and wore giant shirts so no one could see the shape of my body. Then, Covid hit.

I gained what i thought was so much weight during lockdown, as everyone else did too, as well as my oh so quirky mental illnesses. I was at 168 and it made me feel horrible. But not in the health way but the outer appearance way. Then I discovered fat acceptance.

I went from sucking in my gut to being sucked into a harmful mindset that I cannot change but that's okay.

Now, I have to give the movement credit where it's due; it both positively and negatively affected me. The negative part was that i gained about 20 pounds. I got to 180. The positive was that I gained confidence that I desperately needed. I started to not care as much about what I thought people would think, I started to wear more form fitting clothes, I started to even wear two piece swimsuits. But that 20 pounds felt absolutely horrible. And after about two years in the fat acceptance movement, I finally got out of it.

I finally stopped blaming everyone else, either for not being "fat positive" or for being the ones who made me fat. I finally stopped thinking the "naturally" skinny girls were my worst enemy. I finally stopped blaming my genetics. I finally realized just how much I was grossly overeating. I finally saw just how bad I was and how the path I was taking would've lead me to major health problems and an unhappy life filled with resentment and bitterness.

So I took that confidence given to me by the movement and I used it to better myself. After many ups and downs, I managed to get down to 162. I've gained 7 pounds back but I'm trying my best to be consistent. And this health journey started because I wanted to be healthier and just feel better, mostly because I wanted to justify it because I thought that it was wrong of me to want to lose weight to look a certain way. But honestly, fuck that. I don't care if it's fat phobic of me to want my own body to be smaller. So, health is a priority for me but I will be damned if I don't start looking the way I want.

And I tagged this with so many of these fat acceptance tags because I know for damn sure that I would've needed this post three years ago. To hear how it affected someone close to my age. So to anyone who is feeling like shit because you feel as though you can't lose weight or you don't feel as pretty as others; you can do this. You're absolutely gorgeous and handsome and pretty and interesting no matter how you look. But please, please, please don't take to the fat acceptance movement as a way go block out and ignore your insecurities. It doesn't work, it will only get worse. I lost those 17 pounds just by eating a few more vegetables and very inconsistent exercise. I realize everyone is different but it's way easier than you think it is.

Please, y'all, take care of yourselves.

[studiopeachz]

Task Brainstorm & Research

What am I passionate about?

Food

Cultures

Traveling

Music

tattoos/illustrations/designs

art/painting/drawing

Mental health

Self discovering/acceptance/explorations/expressions

What do you wish more people understood?

I wish people understood more about the different forms of self expression through different ways such as art, design, fashion, literature, etc. 

I wish people understood more about human rights, or general personal choices without judgement

What do you feel strongly about?

I feel strongly about self love and acceptance because the factors of accepting ourselves can be hard but can make us flourish, and gives us opportunities to express how we feel 

What makes you feel good?

Art in different forms makes me feel good has it drives my curiosity to learn and dig deeper for meaningful things

Beauty and self acceptance, embracing our imperfections

Wise words/sayings that inspire and impact me and others in a positive way

What makes me unhappy?

As an empathetic person, I feel unhappy for the one who also feels unhappy or any certain unstable emotions.

Making mistakes also make me upset as it is hard to admit our own wrong doings

Stereotypes, because it gives us an invalid label to individuals which do not define us as a whole

I don’t like when people judge you right away without knowing you

If you could fix something, what would it be?

I would want to fix the past mistakes i have done, wishing i could of done better

I would of want to fix the moments that I wish i could of done or fulfilled which leads to present regrets

What would you like to see in the future?

I would like to see everyone in the world to be kinder, and more understanding towards each other as it gives opportunities to get to know individuals truly, without having to judge them right away.

I would also like to see people normalizing natural and imperfect things and different creations of forms of self expression without any judgement, but curiosity instead. 

What would you like to shine a light on?

I would like to raise awareness about the beauty of differences and self expression, even in peculiar artistic ways

What do you see that others don’t see?

As an optimistic person, I like to see the good in everything, therefore I have this willingness to listen and to understand situations, stories, and journeys of others.

I find the most imperfect things to be beautiful. 

Things about Gen Z

https://www.livingfacts.org/en/articles/2020/meet-gen-z 

https://danschawbel.com/blog/39-of-the-most-interesting-facts-about-generation-z/ 

Demographics

Gen Zers are also the most diverse generation. Research by the Center determined that nearly half (48%) of 6- to 21-year-old Gen Zers are racial or ethnic minorities, compared with 39% of Millennials in that age bracket in 2002 and more than double the percentage of early Baby Boomers in 1968.

Attitudes

In many instances, the youngest generation’s views follow Millennials’ social attitudes, and are in stark contrast to the oldest group, the Silent Generation, with Baby Boomers and Gen Xers falling in the middle.

For example, 70% of Gen Zers say government should do more to solve societal problems, rather than leaving it to businesses and individuals. By comparison, 64% of Millennials and only 39% of Silents say government should do more. Similarly, roughly 6 in 10 Gen Zers and Millennials say increasing racial and ethnic diversity is good for society, compared with about 4 in 10 Silents.

Gen Z’s as consumers 

55% of Gen Z would rather buy clothes online and 53% would rather buy books and electronics online. [JWT]

Their favorite items to spend money on are food and drink (36%), going out with friends (32%) and clothes (18%). [Visa]

66% want to own both houses and cars in their lifetimes. [Deep Focus]

Gen Z’s most used tech devices are the smartphone (15.4 hours/week), TV (13.2 hours/week) and a laptop (10.6 hours/week). [Vision Critical]

50% would look on their phone to look for a better price while shopping at a retail store. [Gen HQ]

63% are concerned when it comes to protecting their identity when paying with a debit or credit card online or in a retail store. [Gen HQ]

Gen Z values

76% are concerned about man’s impact on the planet. [JWT]

79% of display symptoms of emotional distress when kept away from their personal electronic devices. [University of Maryland]

90% would be upset if they had to give up their Internet connection while only 51% would give up eating out and 56% would give up downloading music. [JWT]

84% multitask with an Internet-connected device while watching TV. [Forrester Research]

They have more than 10 apps on their smartphone with 10% having more than 40. [Visa]

60% of Gen Zs say “a lot of money” is a sign of success. [Deep Focus]

What are some general Gen Z issues/behaviours/values: 

Social anxiety (mental health)

Racial equality

Gender identity

Self esteem

Political and social issues

Technology/ social media content

Personal beliefs and values in comparison to older generations 

Speaking up/inner voice

Stress response

Optimistic attitude “it is what it is”

Three Campaign Ideas relatable to Gen Z demographic In Aotearoa:

(self expression)

gender identity / fashion & style / art & design / illustration / ink / skin art - tattoos

(self acceptance & confidence)

Body Image & Positivity / cultural roots / growth / well-being / 

(cultural diversity)

Culture / tradition / ethnicity / foundation / 

Research Gen z with self expression, self acceptance, and cultural diversity

WHAT DOES SELF-EXPRESSION REALLY MEAN TO GEN Z?https://www.havaspeople.com/project/what-does-self-expression-really-mean-to-gen-z/ 

We always knew that Gen Z would be distinctive. They are the first true digital natives, and grew up during times of uncertainty (the wake of the last financial crisis and Brexit in the UK). But over the last year the identity of this generation has been further shaped in a profound way as some of their most formative years are taking place against the backdrop of a global pandemic, with the significant interruptions that has wrought to school, university, and early working lives, as well as social connections. Gen Z were on the precipice of progress when COVID hit “pause” on life. And yet many Gen Zers are emerging as resilient, energized, and eager to express themselves and have their voices heard.

Rinsta (real) and Finsta (fake) social media accounts, often to keep certain aspects of their life hidden from family, potential employers, and others outside of their close social circles). Yet – on the whole – they trust the technology brands and platforms themselves.

69% of Gen Z believe that brands should make their stance on social and political issues known publicly. I believe this is what Gen Z mean by brand authenticity. 

showing us that authenticity does not just mean having a clear point of view, but also using your clout as a brand to share and amplify the causes that matter to you. 

showing your own alignment with the purpose and intent of a brand. Gen Z see the brands who they follow, ‘like’, and buy as a personal reflection of them as individuals, which is why they are prepared to pay more for brands that they believe support sustainability. If that’s how profoundly Gen Zers believe the impact of their consumer choices can affect the way they express themselves, it stands to reason that this will cut even deeper with regard to career choices, which is one of the reasons

This seems an important aspect of self-expression. Gen Z share a willingness to discuss issues in an open reflective way, and to seek out different opinions, which is one reason social channels are increasingly viewed as credible sources of news. To give another example, Gen Z are more comfortable talking about mental health issues than previous generations. While this can be attributed in part to the overall rise in awareness and acceptance of mental health issues over the last fifteen years, it is a noticeable shift from previous generations.

https://extremereach.com/blog/for-gen-z-consumption-is-about-self-expression/ “Consumption for this generation is an expression of individual identity.”

“Some people are angry and resentful because they feel like their voice isn’t heard, so clothing is a space where they can be self-governed.”

They’re experiencing brands in every corner of their online life and so these same “brands need to beware this generation’s discernment because they have a bloodhound-like nose for inauthenticity.”

We’ve been more empowered than ever, so why are Gen-Z the least confident generation yet? https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/gen-z-least-confident-generation 

Indeed, statistics show that, instead of a defining feeling of hope among Gen Z, there is a groaning sense of pessimism - of hopelessness. Long running research from University College London, revealed earlier this year that depression levels are two-thirds higher than millennials. The study found 14.8 per cent of 14-year-olds in 2015 said they were depressed, compared to 9 per cent in 2005. While 14.4 per cent of young people said they had self-harmed, compared to 11.8 per cent a decade ago.

“I feel like Gen Z and millennials occupy a really interesting place in politics,” says Nogia, 20 “- we’ve only known austerity, we’ve only know casual work, we’ve only know life long sentences of debt for getting an education and we’re living in an age of populism and hatred in politics.”

So, is this having a detrimental effect on a generation’s mental health and personal confidence? Pretty much.

Youth Engagement Officer at YoungMinds, “Young people today have to navigate a huge range of pressures, from school or university stress, to worries over their career and housing prospects, to the rise of social media, which can make problems like bullying or body image issues more intense than they were in the past.”

Social media is - predictably - a major cause of generational anxiety. Not only is it connecting us to the world’s most depressing news stories, it is also connecting us to a plethora of airbrushed, Facetuned accounts making us feel terrible about ourselves. No wonder confidence is low.

Gen Z demands more diversity and inclusion from brands https://www.campaignlive.com/article/gen-z-demands-diversity-inclusion-brands/1705491 

Gen Zers made clear throughout the study that they want brands to step up their efforts around representation. For example, 76% of Gen Zers said they feel diversity and inclusion is an important topic for brands to address, compared to 72% of millennials, 63% of Gen Xers and 46% of Baby Boomers who felt the same.

“Consumers don't want to see brands making an effort to be inclusive just for means of publicity,” said Jenna Stearns, researcher at quantilope and lead on the report. “They want to see something that's authentic and consistent.”

But brands that resonate most with Gen Z consumers are consistent in their support of social justice. Target, for example, has been vocal around LGBTQIA awareness and Pride month for years, said Steph Rand, senior research consultant at quantilope. 

“These brands are rising to the top because they are sustaining and consistently making [these issues] a priority, either in their communications or around the content they produce,” Rand said.

Responses regarding representation also varied by race, gender and sexual orientation. Individuals responded they feel their gender is more represented in mainstream media (70% male; 66% female) and brand advertising (71% male; 68% female) than their sexual orientation or ethnicity.

In 2021, consumers hope to see more individuals with disabilities represented in advertising and media, as well as more authentic PR backed up by action.

Integrated Awareness Campaign Examples:

Self Expression Campaign example: https://www.lsnglobal.com/youth/article/24865/a-kombucha-campaign-that-celebrates-self-expression 

Los Angeles – Health-Ade Kombucha’s latest campaign targets a new generation of health-conscious drinkers.

The campaign, You Brew You, introduces the brand’s new flavour and packaging concepts, as well celebrating the popularisation of kombucha. Diverging from traditional drinks advertising, it features a series of young models in bright clothing with colourful, neon-lit backdrops.

While kombucha brands tend to communicate in a way that focuses on health, wellness and fitness activities such as yoga, Health-Ade Kombucha is on a mission to change the image of the beverage and target a new generation of digitally-native consumers.

As the younger generation look to the future and consider how drinking impacts their health, they are turning towards soft drinks with additional health benefits. For more, explore the insight section of our macrotrend Anxiety Rebellion.

Self love/acceptance Campaign Example: https://fredandfar.com/blogs/ff-blog/banksy-made-me-do-it-transforming-everyday-ads-into-self-love-campaigns 

This stunt can have multiple meanings, as Banksy often uses his art to comment on such structures as capitalism, power imbalances, and corruption. 

Wrapped up in the Banksy frenzy ourselves, we started questioning art and its subjective worth. What makes art valuable? What qualifies as art? In what way can art be used or manipulated to impact our everyday lives? We live in a world saturated by advertisements, media and marketing targeting and manipulating us to be passive consumers. Thinking about what we are subjected to daily by multimillion dollar companies is eye opening, as is Banksy’s take on copyright laws and advertising.

Banksy urges, “any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It's yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.”

So let’s take back the power. We got the ball rolling by taking some campaigns and slogans you might recognize, and turning them into campaigns for self love and acceptance.

Join us by creating your own better slogan and use the hashtag #banksymademedoit. What we need is more self love in the world. Let’s saturate the world with our mission.

Cultural Diversity Campaign Example: https://www.refuelagency.com/blog/examples-of-brands-who-got-multicultural-marketing-right/ 

Rihanna’s brand, Fenty, is all but synonymous with authentic inclusive marketing, created on the foundation that everyone woman is beautiful and should feel included. In 2017, Fenty Beauty launched 40 shades of foundation, and that has since grown to 50. Chaédria LaBouvier wrote in Allure that Fenty Beauty’s sheer number of foundation colors is “a statement that women of color deserve complex options”. 

Rihanna shared that, “It’s important to me that every woman feel included in this brand.” Once this campaign launched, it had a ripple effect called “The Fenty Effect”, a movement calling for brands to challenge the status quo in advertising.

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Sorry! Lehner had around a 10 minute rant today about how he feels like the NHL lied to the players about loosening up the restrictions placed on teams and forced teams to get the Covid Vaccine. ESPN and the New York Post released an article about it today.

(this is a follow-up on this ask)

Ah okay, I found a TSN article about it, which covers the fact that he also apologized for some of his remarks (mainly comparing the restrictions to being “like prison” which is a bit cringe when you’re a millionaire in a free hotel, yeah), and also significantly clarified some of the intent behind what he was trying to say at the presser:

I’m gonna put my full thoughts this under a cut because it’s ended up running pretty long and rambly, but tl;dr: after considering his more precisely clarified points here and with the perspective I know he’s coming from, I can honestly see and empathize with what Lehner seems to be expressing here about how the NHL has chosen to handle player vaccinations and informing them about what that means for the restrictions on their lives, and I actually don’t disagree with his criticisms overall. Some of the phrasing could have been better, but he’s acknowledged that too.

All in all, it sounds like the NHL may have done a poor job of honestly managing expectations around what vaccine rollout would mean for the extra restrictions placed on the players and their families with each team, and that they’re also up to some version of their usual NHL schtick of prioritizing some platonic ideal of Competitive Parity (remember “the Vancouver Canucks will play a 56 game season”, anyone?) above all else, even when that is no longer realistic and/or comes at the expense of the short-term and long-term mental and physical wellbeing of the players. Classic NHL.

Right, so, long thoughts are down here. Also gonna copy the majority of his comments directly because I think it’s worthwhile for people to read exactly what he said:

"As I’m frustrated like a lot of people in the world right now everything didn’t come out of today’s press in the right way," Lehner wrote. "Main point is that we need to start take the mental health important as well In this situation. It has a huge impact on everyone in society right now. To put competitive edge before well being of people's lives is wrong. As I said, people are struggling with many different things mentally and we need to consider that, as well. Then, being lied to makes it worse."

I love hockey and the league has done a lot of good things," Lehner continued. "But this missed the mark. My bad to say it’s like prison and I apologize, but with mental health issues that are developing in the world, it develops problems mentally. We will see exactly how this affects everything with time. I don’t mean to offend anyone. I hope we can all work together to help people that suffer through mental help from this going forward. I’ve heard how a lot of people are doing through this as people talk to me about it."

During his briefing, Lehner said that the league has misled the players about how vaccination will lead to the loosening of restrictions.

"They told me yesterday that they're surveying all of the teams to see who has taken the vaccine and who has not taken the vaccine and they're not going to change the rules for us as players until all of the teams have a fair [amount] of [vaccinated players] at the same time, so there's not a competitive edge," Lehner said. "And that made me go crazy, to be honest."

Lehner said the league is failing to look at its players as people first and lied to them about taking the vaccine.

"These are human lives and people are struggling with this stuff a lot in society and we are humans just as everyone else," Lehner said. "So there's a twofold problem for me here - the first one is we got promised something to take something that not necessarily everyone wanted. So that was lie - a blatant lie. Second, to put competitive edge over human lives in terms of going back - and I'm not saying we're going out to a party or whatever, but we had a meeting when the season started, at the beginning of camp, that pretty much told us we can't go outside of our house, can't do anything, can't go to the grocery store, can do nothing on the road. You can take a meal out of the meal room and go sit up in your room, don't be with your teammates, don't do this, don't do that. Nobody thinks about the mental impact."

The Gothenburg, Sweden native says his peers are struggling through this pandemic season.

"I know people will say, 'Oh, you're millionaires' and this and that or 'What about these guys?' but we care about that, too, man," Lehner said. "No matter what people think, this is a society problem. But when government, corporations, NHL, whoever are taking decisions in terms of irrelevant things like competitive edge over the human being? It's not okay."

It seems pretty clear to me from this article that his main issue isn’t really with getting the vaccine or being required to do so (my understanding is that it is still opt-in for all players, not mandatory. It’s that he doesn’t view the League as having provided players with a realistic expectation ahead of time for how being vaccinated would or would not change their daily reality. That they were led to believe that getting vaccinated would lead to things that didn’t end up happening, and therefore weren’t empowered to make an informed choice about when to get vaccinated.

The way he describes it, the League was not clear enough ahead of time about the fact that individual players being vaccinated would not make them individually exempt from league-wide restrictions, and this created a feeling of false hope about what getting vaccinated would mean in terms of not just having to stay in your house or hotel room literally all the time. If you were looking forward to getting vaccinated because you were led to believe it would mean finally not having to live in that isolated, mentally draining environment all the time, and then only found out at the last minute or after the fact that no, you actually still have to keep following all these rules that are making your life so isolated and difficult, that’s gotta be pretty emotionally jarring. If you were a player who was a little unsure about getting vaccinated quite yet (for whatever reason, including possibly being in a risk group for side-effects or just not wanting to get waylaid for a week with the smile symptoms it induces during a crucial stretch of games), but decided it was worth it for the tradeoff of getting back to a life that was less of a strain on your mental health, and then got told AFTER you made that decision and got the shot that no, that tradeoff isn’t happening the way you were made to expect it to, I think it would understandably piss you off.

It also sounds like part of what he has taken issue with is that, from the sounds of it rather than ease internal restrictions on a team-by-team basis as determined by each team’s vaccination rates (which would mean that if for example the Wild had 95% of their team vaccinated, the Wild only the Wild would get to start living a life with slightly less restrictions), the League is instead opting to say “no, we’re only going to ease the rules for EVERYONE at the same time once all teams have reached similar numbers of vaccinated players and staff to ea other, because we would see having different rules for different teams as giving some of them an unfair competitive edge”.

Lehner takes umbrage with this approach, because he thinks that focusing solely on “competitive edge” by making more-vaccinated teams keep having to live incredibly isolated lives (even isolated from vaccinated teammates) is a case of the League prioritizing parity over the toll that barely being able to interact with other people or leave their houses is taking on players’ mental health. And I can really really understand his point here. We have all seen what quarantine has done to our individual mental health, and even if they are millionaires, those impacts also exist for the players.

I actually just recently re-read the Athletic piece about the intense mental health and addiction struggles Lehner has gone through and done the incredibly difficult work of getting help for in the last five years. This man has fought incredibly hard and done a massive amount of therapy and other work to sort out his head, deal with his demons, and get himself to a place where he can cope and wants to be alive. That kind of recovery journey is a battle which will continue for the rest of your life and requires constant maintenance practices (again, speaking from experience). He also spent most of this season not even getting to be around the team at all, stuck at home recovering from a concussion (which usually involves doing frustratingly little and waiting around impatiently in dimly lit rooms for your brain to heal). And now, upon returning to the team, road games mean more time spent sitting in a room trying not to be bored out of your skull, while possibly also having to have some limits on things like screen time as a post-concussion precaution.

Imagine being somebody like him, who has spent a lot of time working very hard to build up a lifestyle and a system of coping mechanisms in recent years which have allowed him to live a healthier and happier life, to then be thrown back into an isolated and highly restricted new lifestyle where probably at least half of all those habits and norms and support systems are taken out of reach, that has to be incredibly difficult (I’ve experienced something similar myself this year). Especially when you haven’t been able to even go and be with the team in the dressing room, or probably even do anything with your family that classes above “mildly strenuous”, because you’re out for six weeks recovering from a concussion, which is its own mental and physical health battle. And then, you are apparently given the impression from the League that “hey, if you’re willing to get vaccinated, that will lead to you being able to return to some semblance of a life that is less taxing on your psyche”, and you agreed to do so even if you were perhaps cautious about getting the vaccine before, because you’d rather accept whatever risk comes with the shot than gamble on keeping your sanity together for however much longer this isolation drags on, only to then find out that “actually no, even if your team and staff is entirely vaccinated you still have to spend most of your time sitting alone in rooms trying not to sink into a spiral of dangerous depression until other teams in other states with different vaccination programs are also immunized to similar levels, and our only real reasoning for holding that mental relief out of reach is mostly based on ‘competitive parity’”.

Yeah, I absolutely understand why he would feel very frustrated and even betrayed by that course of action! For Lehner, it’s not about competitive edges or the game on the ice, it’s about having made the decision to get vaccinated at this time with the understanding that it would allow access to an at least slightly less mentally taxing lifestyle, only to find out later that the League seemingly never intended to follow through on providing that despite you holding up your end of the deal. And it sounds like he is speaking for a number of other players beyond just himself who are also struggling with their mental health in these conditions. Even if he himself is managing to cope because of what he’s learned in his recovery, he would certainly be well-positioned to recognize signs in the people around him that they are struggling in ways that may be similar to what he went though before, and know how dire that can spiral into being.

Look, I don’t think Robin Lehner ever expected to be allowed to go out and lick people’s eyeballs or wander the supermarket maskless once vaccinated, but you heard the description of how intensely restrictive the NHL’s rules for players off-ice lives during COVID are. They are far more intense than the rules being enforced for non-NHL individuals in many of the same cities and states, because the NHL is trying to bring risk as close to zero as possible. And if you were a player told that being vaccinated was going to reduce contagion risks enough to mean that right away the NHL would finally let you and your teammates from “can’t go anywhere or see anyone, eat your dinner in your hotel room and try not to be depressed about it” to “you can go to the store with a mask on. you can eat meals with your also-vaccinated teammates. you can visit your parents or siblings while social-distancing/masking. you can spend free time around other people and/or in more public spaces without being chaperoned constantly by team staff. you can sit next to your also-vaccinated teammates on the plane/bus. you can hang out with them in their room”, and THEN later were told “sorry, we’re not actually going to let you do that yet. not for COVID reasons but rather because we worry not being totally miserable shut-ins will give you a competitive edge over that team in another state who aren’t getting vaccinated as quickly”. That has to feel like a slap in the face in terms of how much the league actually cares about your well-being or about being honest in its role in your personal medical decisions. Perhaps when he says “forced” he is expressing a feeling of being stuck between choosing “either get vaccinated or let your mental health keep degrading in isolation”, only to find out that making the deal doesn’t get you the relief you were promised.

Idk I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot here trying to circle in on my precise point bc my brain is a little scrambled today, but like. If the players made their decisions to consent to vaccination (at this time, with whatever version of the shot was offered, under whatever circumstances they may have going on personally or medically) based on one understanding of the situation, and then NHL really said “lol NOPE actually that was a false premise” and changed things after the fact, that’s kinda an informed consent issue and I think he’s right to call it fucked up! And everything he says about how mentally taxing such a super-isolated lifestyle is honestly only repeats worries I myself had right from the moment the “stay in your hotel room alone” rule was announced — that the League may be underestimating the toll (especially with some of the long road trips this season) that forcing players to live in total isolation like that was going to have on individual wellbeing and team morale.

Robin’s comments this morning could have been put better, but as somebody who has ADHD and who knows about bipolar disorder, I know emotions for folks with brains like ours can run fast and intense and sometimes lead to not always planning out every word as precisely and you might later have liked to once that moment has passed. The fact that he apologized for the less tactful part of the comment and sought to clarify his words tells me he’s thought a lot about this and wasn’t happy with how he expressed his thoughts initially. Also, while his English is very good, you can sometimes forget it isn’t his first language, Swedish is — some thoughts don’t translate exactly as they sounded in your head. That said, also Robin Lehner one of the more outspoken NHL players about mental health issues in recent years, and he also doesn’t seem like the type of guy to mince his words or tiptoe around a point — I’m not surprised he’s the person expressing these concerns about mental health, and I’m not surprised he was a bit blunt about it either lol.

All in all, it sounds like the NHL did a poor job of managing expectations around what vaccine rollout would mean for the players and their families, and that they’re also up to their usual NHL schtick of prioritizing some platonic ideal of Competitive Parity (remember “the Vancouver Canucks will play a 56 game season”, anyone?) above all else, even when that is no longer realistic and/or comes at the expense of the short-term and long-term mental and physical wellbeing of the players. Classic NHL.

(also: the New York Post is a right-leaning sensationalist rag 90% of the time. take all spin it puts on things with a grain of salt)

[humanemotionssuck]

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

[robogreaser]

This is a Long Time Coming...

It’s been a relatively hard task to sit down and make sense of, well, a lot of things as of late. I could chalk it up to the state of the world, but it’s been troublesome for significantly longer than that.

Long Story Short Version: I’ve been in a hell of a place, mentally, physically, and otherwise.

The proper story is a hell of a lot more involved than that and I know damned right well it’s going to take me a fair bit to explain myself and my various professional and social failings over the past... while. I’m gonna try to contain this under a read more, of course, but I apologize to mobile users if tumblr fucks that up.

Okay. That took a fair more bit of effort to figure out than I remember. Which, I suppose, is a fair enough bit of a segue into one thing that’s happened to me.

Tumblr has been deteriorating.

Whether I like to admit it or not, tumblr has been my go to social media platform since... 2011. Yeah. I’ve spent the vast majority of the decade here. I’ve seen a lot. Sure, I’ve lurked elsewhere, but I really cannot stand the interface and nature of a lot of other social media, especially the likes of twitter. Unfortunately for me, this place has been in constant decline for years now at this point. It extends well beyond the porn ban, but that’s a whole separate discussion.

I’ve lost touch with a lot of people I care about, some vanishing into the ether, some ghosting me, some just drifting into other communities or onto other sites. I’ve come to terms with the majority of this. It’s been happening for a while. It’s the very nature of digital relationships. It hurt, and I do think it’s contributed to a fair bit of stress and depression that has resulted in my... withdrawal from online spaces. It’s not a major factor, but its here, it’s present, it’s a factor in all of this.

I’ll be honest in that, well, I’ve tried to make this post several times over the past several weeks and months. It’s hard. Talking about my issues, using ‘I’ and ‘me’ so much in a post... it’s a bit jarring. But I’ll try to suck it up.

It’s been ten years (god I fucking hate time) since I’ve graduated high school. Yeah. It’s a fair thing to say that, on reflection, that’s incredibly jarring. The vast majority of that time has been... relatively unstable. I spent a fair few years working on my book and my publishing journey, now all but scrubbed clean from this blog (more on that later) and... well... Trying to be an adult. I’ve applied to, gotten accepted, and had to withdrawn from my dream school twice in this time. I’ve had a fair few jobs, nothing worthy of my resume, and lost all of them in one form or another, whether being fired for retaliating to my shitty work conditions, or, well, quitting for the sake of my own health during this pandemic. There has been a lot of family troubles. I’ve been through a lot of... ‘varied’ living situations, some horrendous, some just stressful, some, like now, actually really good compared to the others. And for the past few years in particular, it’s been constantly one thing after another, nonstop.

In short, progress is slow, but it’s happening. I don’t care to delve into a lot of these sorts of personal details lest this get to a ridiculous length, but that’s the short of the stuff I’d rather gloss over.

I’ve been on a health... Let’s call it a journey. I’ve been on a health journey. Over the past few years I’ve gone through the long processes of being diagnosed with ADHD, discussing my options regarding my depression and anxiety, and finally getting myself on a medication regimen that works. And then, because the health care system is a joke, I was without insurance. I had been off my medication, an absolute lifesaver and release of burden on my garbage tier brain, for eighteen months. Until last week. I think it’s fair to say, between my revolving door of living situations, employment, and then being un-medicated in a continually more stressful environment... That this is the main reason I’ve been absent. I’ve had no focus. There were weeks where I had no drive to do anything outside of routine that others depended on. I had not only gone back to how I was before situating my mental health, but in some ways, found a worse state.

Finances have been slowly eating away at me. I had been working a part time retail job until November, which made decent enough money, but not nearly for the amount of work and responsibility I was handling. I got fired. I found work with one of the big, corporate postal services. The pay was phenomenal, but it began to actively destroy my health, mainly physically, but also mentally, especially considering I was working a graveyard shift. Eventually when I began having prolonged health issues there, and then a whole lot of the symptoms of covid-19, on top of them turning me down for an entry-level position outside of the package handling, I had to quit. This was shortly after the lockdowns, in early April, and I refuse to look back despite people like my parents insisting on me trying to get work there again. Sure, the pay was phenomenal compared to anything else I had until then, but I cant continue to sacrifice my health. As of now, I’m unemployed, and... well...

I’m working on my commission queue. It’s art. It’s stuff I’ve owed friends (luckily those who are incredibly understanding and good to me) for an embarrassing amount of time, even before moving to and from Oklahoma at the end of 2016. I’m terrified of being the person who is known for taking commissioners’ money and running.

I know, I’m not good at giving updates. I’m not good at a consistent work schedule. I’ve had numerous tech failings over the past few years that constantly slow my roll on any progress I have made. Hell, I’ve had files corrupt despite being two thirds of the way complete when transferring from one computer to another. I’ve lost my cable for my external hard drive. I’ve had my tablet go to hell and back multiple times. But I am working. I am trying. I am sitting down as often as I can between looking for work and managing family nonsense to try and get my workload tidied up.

Which... brings me to my next point. And one I’m rather... ashamed about.

I have used trello, infrequently, since taking on a large load of commissions, and despite not being faithfully updating it and checking back on it, and using it to it’s fullest potential, I had kept, at the minimum, a list of all the work I did owe people using it. Well. Dumbass me attempted to use a mobile app. In short, in an effort to try and make myself tech literate and allow me easier access to my queue, I ended up deleting it. Somehow.

I’ve gone through and slowly flagged all my paypal notices and various emails concerning my commissions. I’m putting it together again. I’m trying. Granted, I am damned sure I am going to be missing someone, somewhere, somehow. I know it. I’ve got a shit brain, and despite my need for organization and minimalism, I don’t put it past me to have missed something along the way.

If you have commissioned me, please, do not hesitate to reach out and contact me regarding your commission. I owe every last one of you a massive apology for my continued failure to produce what you have paid for.

More likely than not, I have a wip already started somewhere, and if not, I have a slew of reference and thumbnails already compiled together somewhere on my computers. I am not ignoring this work. It’s been painfully, embarrassingly slow. It’s been one obstacle after another. But I have every intention of doing this work, and, likely, upgrading the quality of the finished piece past what my commissioners have paid for simply because I do feel bad about the wait time.

I have been inexcusably unprofessional. I know this and I am working as best I can with the time and resources I have to correct it.

In a similar vein, as I mentioned before, I have slowly been cleaning up my rather unimpressive publishing attempts. I’ve gone through and cleaned this blog recently, deleting reference to my work by name and the process of trying to get myself published. I may have missed a few posts here and there, but for the most part I would like a clean slate in regards to building a social media platform surrounding my written work. And this is the part where... I am probably going to be the most upfront and honest with you reading this than I have been publicly before.

I am not ashamed of who I’ve been online these past ten years or so, but it reflects only a sliver of my personality, a sliver of who I am as a whole. I catered to a very specific subset of who I am in pursuit of finding acceptance in communities much larger than myself. I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in that time. I figured out what’s important to me, my health, my sexuality, my relationships and my long term goals. I’ve found a very important group of friends. I’ve found people who understand and empathize with a lot of the things I have been through, experience, and am at my core.

But the fact of the matter is, this hypersexual, sci-fi aesthetic-oriented, very open person is only a singular facet. And it is not nearly enough of a reflection of who I am, or who I want to be as a professional, public adult. Will I always be gay for robots? Yes. Will I, when time permits and creative energies are present, continue to make nsfw art? Absolutely. Will I always have a toe dipped in erotic literature and the like? Most likely.

But a lot of me, a lot of my emotion and strife and feelings regarding most things in the world, are completely separate from this. It’s separate from me liking porn on twitter or having a homestuck roleplay blog. It’s separate from who I am in real life, with my boyfriend or with my family or with my work. And I have been dwelling on this, sincerely, for a while. I need to allocate more energy into my life. The separate life offline and online too, where I am pursuing an actual professional career, because, at the end of the day, I want to be an author. I want to have a career telling stories. And, in my time online, I’ve found a lot of skeletons in authors’ closets, the kind that really put mine to shame, and the kind that will always be a footnote to their work. You know the ones.

I want my creative work to speak for itself. I want people to be able to enjoy what I do without a specter, without my time and energy having to explain to a future audience why it is I had explicit thoughts about x,y, and z. I want to be able to write a book, write many books, and have people enjoy them without a footnote about me, a person with a sexual life and a history exploring it through years of depression and isolation, clouding it. It’s not fair to my work. It’s not fair to a future reader. It’s not fair to me.

I’ve got several social media accounts made and slowly coming to life that I need to spend more time with as I try and pursue this new, second leg of a very long journey into publishing. I’m not going to link those here, now or in the future. It’s likely a few people I know and trust have access to them. But I am, effectively starting over from scratch trying to build a platform as a writer. And it’s hard. Juggling that, alongside all of the things in the world today, alongside family and my relationships, alongside my commission queue? It bears down on me and if I didn’t have experience handling more than one thing at a time, I might trip up more frequently. Hell, I forget to post and use those new accounts regularly.

But I’m trying.

I’m not moving away from my current social circles or hobbies or anything like that. I’m not abandoning any fandom or friends or communities. But I am going to be trying to balance myself more thoughtfully moving forward, past just commissions, past just writing.

I’m here. I’m moving forward, slowly but surely, and I am making an effort to improve.

[shelbymustange]

Is Canada really that good? I've been thinking abt leaving my country and America is a no-no for me

This is such an incredibly difficult thing for me to write, as I’m a white person living in Canada and I don’t know a lot about POC experiences in my country. Everything I know about racism in Canada is from an outsider perspective. The only thing I can really speak on is my experiences as an LGBT person, and as an AFAB person who was born and raised here.

I'm not even close to an authority on how POC feel about living in Canada, and I can only give my opinion on that based on my personal experiences with my POC friends and acquaintances, plus what I have read in the news and from articles written by POC.

As well, this is from the perspective of someone who grew up in rural Ontario, and is living in Ottawa. Ottawa is not a large city, and it is in South Eastern Ontario. Canada is a very, very large country. South Eastern Ontario is no where near the same as Northern Ontario, or even Western Ontario, let alone Alberta or the Maritimes or the Yukon. 

Please keep this in mind as a speak on what I do know. There is a lot more that I don’t, and if you are POC, I encourage you to seek out articles or posts written by POC citizens and immigrants about their experience coming to Canada and living here. As well as seeking out local articles written from the place you may want to move within the country. 

Now that I have said that, let me begin:

Canada has it's issues with POC, and it would be incredibly ignorant for me to say we don't. There is still racism here, there is still anti-immigrant sentiment. There’s a very, very longstanding history of racism toward our First Nations/Indigenous/Native people. This history and mistreatment is becoming more well known about my country. It’s currently in debate whether we should label the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women a genocide because of the systematic negligence on the part of our authorities toward finding these girls and closing the numerous cold cases there are. As well, the ‘Starlight Tours’ -- or a more apt and less pleasing name the “Saskatoon Freezing Deaths” are also gaining a lot more attention toward how my country has treated it’s Indigenous people, and their systematic oppression. Not to mention the issue surrounding our residential schools and kidnapped indigenous children. <--there is a lot to unpack about Canada and it’s First Nations peoples. I could go on for paragraphs about this. I encourage any Canadian followers to read the articles in this paragraph and learn about these atrocities if you think our country is perfect.

Canada is not a utopia for POC. Brown and Black people as well, still suffer from racism from our authorities, as well as just daily racism from the people around them. And there are cases of police negligence and brutality that happen in Canada. This is a fact that our country has to face. 

In terms of our government -- well, our parties are a lot different than the US. Here’s what our election looked like last year, and a basic overview on party policies. Our elections last like...a month? I think last year it was 78 days and that was a long ass election. Generally speaking, there isn’t as much of and Us or Them mentality with our parties and I think it’s because we have a Parliament system. In my perspective, they’re all sort of toeing the line because they need each other in order for any policy to pass, especially when we have a minority government.

So, no one other than the conservatives are aligning themselves with just one party. And the conservatives only do that because the PC party is really the only contending conservative power in Canada. The other three parties that have MPs in House are leftist parties. 

Personally speaking, I’m a leftist. I side more with the NDP than the Liberals in terms of policies, but I don’t align myself with a specific party. I’m just a leftist. I usually vote Liberal, because in my district, they are the only contenders against the PC party, and ultimately my district is PC led because it’s a small town and it’s just how people vote there.

That’s how I look at our government. Notice how much more flippant it is than you might get from someone in the States? AND. I’m going to be perfectly honest here, not long ago, in our provincial government, we had a Premier named Kathleen Wynne, who I wanted to like, but she made some really stupid decisions (except $14 min wage, thank u Wynne). She was a Liberal party leader. And, you know, I was not okay with a PC government in Ontario, especially one run by Doug Ford (brother of notorious Rob Ford). And he’s done some shit I don’t like at all, BUT! I can comfortably say that I respect Doug Ford because of his decision making during the Covid Pandemic. While it was slow and could have been handled better, do I think another leader would have done better? Not really. But at the same time, there was no downplaying, and despite his emphasis on business in his platform, he surprised me with his re-opening policies and how slowly they were taken. (except the schools, because that was fuckin stupid tbh but I’m not going to keep going on about that.). Generally speaking, here when you’re mad about a politician, it’s for non-heinous, smaller bad decision making, rather than taking away Trans rights, for example. (An Aside -- here in Ontario, trans people who are clinically diagnosed with dysphoria and referred for surgery by a professional have their surgeries covered by OHIP (provincial health plan), and do not have to pay out of pocket, so that’s nice).

(Disclaimer: this opinion is from a white person’s prespective, a white person who votes in rural Ontario, who’s friends and family are quite equally as skeptical and logical toward politics and politicians. My flippancy could very well  be because of my white priviledge and I encourage any poc Canadian followers to respond with their opinions so I can rb here. I just know majority of immigrant Canadians vote Liberal since like the 70s).

Largely our Conservative party is much more concerned with fiscal issues than anything else (though there are some outliers, like Andrew Scheer who was notoriously anti-lgbt and abortion, but from what I could see it was kept out of his politics?? I need to look into it more, but ultimately he was taken out as the PC leader I think largely because of the country’s opinions on this) but a good portion of their supporters can be racist, and non-supportive of lgbt people, anti-abortion, etc. Ultimately, our conservatives, when in power recently, have never tried to reverse LGBT rights, though they toe the line of reproductive rights, despite not actively re-opening the debate. As well, Ontario, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, as well as Vancouver, Edmonton and Calgary have enacted bans on conversion therapy. A bill has also been tabled that will federally ban conversion therapy, and it’s not something that the conservatives are really fighting against. For the most part, they leave LGBT people alone rather than actively passing laws to harm them. I can personally say, I’ve never felt fear for my life, or my rights when we’ve had a majority PC government.

As an immigrant, compared to the US, you are more likely to be taken in to our country, and it is much easier to get work. It’s also easier to become a permanent resident (here’s a list of personal stories from answers on Quora about Canada vs US immigration). 

As well, the Canadian government adopted the idea of Canada as a multicultural nation back in the 1970s. We’re not a melting pot like the US. And this can be a big draw for people looking to immigrate, because it emphasizes individuality and the positives of what different cultures can bring to a country. (Though this can be contested and quite fairly at that).

I personally know a good amount of people who have immigrated to Canada, from a variety of different backgrounds, who love it here, and have had very little issue in their lives. Not none, obviously for the POC, because racism still happens here, but they love being here, and ultimately they feel safe and like they belong. They have found community here. But this is just my personal experience, Heres’s a couple articles from and about Canadian immigrants:

Immigrants talk about when they 'started to feel Canadian' - Ottawa Citizen, 2018 As an immigrant, I know how it feels to be 'lonely and isolated' in my new country - CBC Saskatchewan, 2019    What It Takes: An immigrant’s journey from Zimbabwe to Canada - Global News, 2019

This isn’t to say that people come here and they’re always going to love it. There’s a lot of people who leave, either to go back to their home country, or to go to another country (like the US). Even though it’s easier than in the US, it can still be hard to get a job here in the field you want, things are kind of really expensive compared to the US, the US has better higher level education, they have better paying jobs, etc. 

And again, this is the perspective of a white person from a smaller city in Ontario. I know Toronto, even though half of it’s population are immigrants, has a lot of issues with it’s police and brutality and anti-black and brown racism. Ultimately, you will not completely escape racism, individual or systemic, in this country. It’s an unfortunate fact that we can all fight to change in the future.

But in a small town. It’s a community. As someone from a rural area, I know that in my experience, there has never been a point where I have seen anyone from my small communities who have been, at the least, outwardly racist toward a POC. I personally have never seen or heard of a person being confronted or abused or called names because of the colour of their skin or cultural background. (here is an article written by my brother’s friend and former band mate, who is a black man that was adopted as a child, about his experiences in small town Canada, and his perspective on the BLM movement and the response of his white friends).

Anyway, I hope this sort of got my point across. Canada’s a complicated nation, like most. I didn’t touch on the base level, ‘why is canada a good place to immigrate’ points or anything, but I figure you would look that up before making such a big choice. And I’ve already spent 4 hours trying to write something coherent and somewhat researched to say...

Again, I encourage anyone to rb with their opinion or with anything I may have missed. Or send an ask or whatever.

[onestowatch]

99 Neighbors on Vermont, 99 Radio, and Their New Singles “QWOP” and “Basement” [Q&A]

99 Neighbors has been disrupting current notions of what band and rap collectives look and sound like. Hailing from the unlikely city of Burlington, Vermont, artists HANKNATIVE, Shane Kaseta, and Sam Paulino met Somba and Juju to form what soon became the ever evolving 99 Neighbors. Later, members Connor “Swank,” Jared “JFear,” and Aidan Ostby joined the group, all adding their own new unique perspective.  

The group’s debut project Television showcased the group as one not afraid to take risks and defy genres. 99 Neighbors are now breaking their 2020 silence with the hard-hitting singles “Basement” and “QWOP.”

We had the pleasure of connecting with 99 Neighbors via email to talk about coming up in Vermont, their creative process, new singles, and more.

Ones To Watch: How did growing up in Vermont influence your music?

AIDAN: Vermont is a beautiful and secluded place. Young people can grow up feeling a disconnect between their lives and the culture/creative output of the mainstream. Kids in New York can go to so many places in the city to see exciting up and coming artists in-person and really get a feel for who they are and what they’re about. That sort of culture does not exist in even the most populated areas of Vermont. If you want to connect with artists and gain knowledge about music, it's either all on you or it's going to come down to word of mouth. Despite it being tough to connect deeply with influences compared to places with more contact with big artists, Vermont also provides (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful places to be creative in the country. I’ve never felt closer to the essence of my own life than when i was biking in Burlington, and kids in Vermont are so lucky to have access to that scenery and that very same seclusion that can seem limiting at times. Vermont is a wonderful place to be creative and a horrible place to be expansive.

What are some places to visit for someone going to Burlington for the first time?

JUJU: For a first time visitor, I’d recommend grabbing some food from the homie Kujt at his cart “South End Sliders” on Church Street marketplace. From there it's a short walk down to the waterfront where you can get a creamie at Burlington Bay and enjoy the view of sunset over the lake!

How has the creative process changed since signing to a major label?

SOMBA: At first I was worried about being consumed by the process of making accessible music for a wide audience. Luckily at this point I’m really happy to be learning new ways to communicate our ideas (as bold as they may be) through the internal accessibility and communication of our narrative structure’s composition. As opposed to some looming, speculative silent majority that is the music market, I focus on the building block mechanics to our songs & just keep the label-y shit in mind as I go. To elaborate, our sound design, and vocal performance in combination with lyrics and musical composition all have to have a conversation with each other and you. For me the Warner helped show me that the industry-buzz-word of “communication” actually goes a long way. It’s much better to try to clear up anything in the way of greatness than to focus on some vague goal of being great.

Where did you get the idea to start 99 Radio?

JARED: Sam and I had the idea to start 99 Radio during the first COVID lockdown in early March. We missed the experience of partying with our homies on the weekend, and we knew a lot of our fans did too, so we wanted to try and capture as much of that energy as possible through a livestream. Twitch was the perfect platform to host 99 Radio on because of the dope community we already had built up there, as well as not capping our broadcast at a certain length (we typically go for 3-4 hours).

Being stuck inside for a long ass time has had a pretty heavy toll on my mental health, but having a way to break up the monotony of quarantine life, as well as a new reason to look forward to the weekend, has been super beneficial during this pandemic.

With so many members, does it become difficult to create a singular vision or sound?

SWANK: Sometimes having multiple members can be a struggle when opinions differ but for the most part, we have organically grown better at making music together just by going through life together. With everything we been through, we have learned many things about each other and how we work so we can move forward in ways we think will be successful. A key thing for that is communication. We still got ways to go before we perfect it but right now we doing alright !

What do you hope fans will take away from listening to “QWOP” and “Basement”?

HANK: I want it to be an intro to who we are for people who don’t already know. The playfulness of the duo, combined with the serious aspects kind of serve as the setting. We’re some young people enjoying where life’s taken us since we started our journey, but at the same time there’s an air of seriousness. This all matters...

It also serves as a great representation of our last year specifically. We took this mf from the basement apartment we were crashing in and Burlington, and it’s a wild ride.

How is the upcoming release different thanTelevision?

SAM: I think it's smarter to compare these singles to our previous single run last year, given Television is a full body of work!

The process of making QWOP and Basement was similar to the creation of songs like Fuck No, Bangarang, Ripstick and Mercy II. Creating with the sole purpose of having fun and letting whatever happens happen. A carefree feeling with intent, if you will!

Who are some of your Ones to Watch?

99 NEIGHBORS: BKTheRula, Mavi, Ovrkast., Spit Infinity, Dijon, Will Keeper, and Serious Klein.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Pluralistic: 12 Mar 2020 (No health care for part-time TSA screeners, Akil Augustine on Radicalized, Wendell Potter rebuts Joe Biden, best Covid-19 explainer, Boeing's self-inflicted wounds, EU Right to Repair, virtual classrooms)

Books

About

Podcast

Plura-list Newsletter

@doctorow

Pluralistic: 12 Mar 2020

TSA boss doubles down on taking away health care from part-time screeners: They're touching your junk with diseased hands.

Akil Augustine on Radicalized: My book's Canada Reads champion lays out the case for Radicalized.

A former top Cigna exec rebuts Joe Biden's healthcare FUD: Wendell Potter is the prodigal corporate villain.

Ars Technica's Covid-19 explainer is the best resource on the pandemic: Beth Mole has outdone herself.

Boeing is even worse at financial engineering than they are at aircraft engineering: The $43B they incinerated through stock buybacks would sure come in handy about now.

Senate Republicans kill emergency sick leave during pandemic: Sick leave is cheaper than pandemics, but pandemics generate cost-plus contracts for the donor class.

The EU's new Right to Repair rules finally come for electronics: Snoods cocked at Apple and other US Big Tech monopolists.

How to run a virtual classroom: Masterclass from the 14-year-old Stanford Online High School.

This day in history: 2010, 2015, 2019

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

TSA boss doubles down on taking away health care from part-time screeners (permalink)

TSA agents handles the personal belongings and touch the bodies of millions of fliers. Part time agents don't get health-insurance. If they think they might have Covid-19, they might not be able to afford to seek care.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/11/politics/tsa-health-care-part-time/index.html

TSA chief David Pekoske told Congress that the Trump administration's decision to take away health-care from part time TSA employees was a good one: "I have no intention of restoring health care coverage for part-time workers. I think that was a good decision."

About 100 TSA agents have been sent home after it was believed they came into contact with Covid-19. The TSA will not try to track down passengers who also might have come into contact with sick people.

Akil Augustine on Radicalized (permalink)

My book Radicalized is a finalist for the Canada Reads national book prize. Each of the five finalists is defended by a Canadian celeb: my champion is the amazing and articulate Akil Augustine.

Akil just appeared on the @CBC's Canada Reads podcast to give us a preview of his defense, which he will field during several nights of nationally televised debates next week.

http://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1708600899815/

He did an OUTSTANDING job! Here's the MP3:

https://cbc.mc.tritondigital.com/CBC_CNDAREADS_P/media/cndareads-3NLwEPaV-20200309.mp3

A former top Cigna exec rebuts Joe Biden's healthcare FUD (permalink)

In a recent and important essay, Maria Farrell wrote about the road-to-Damascus conversions that ex-techies are having in which they recant the damaging product design work they did and begin to campaign against their former employers.

https://conversationalist.org/2020/03/05/the-prodigal-techbro/

Farrell noted that these techies had missed an important step in their transformation from venal attention mercenaries to noble attention freedom-fighters: they had yet to hit bottom, to truly repent their earlier sins.

They skipped like stones over the waters of privilege, and never sank, unlike so many of their victims.

Contrast those journeys with that of Wendell Potter, the former Cigna exec turned whistleblower, who has devoted decades of his life to revealing dirty tricks and lies. Potter campaigns tirelessly – and shrewdly – for Medicare for All, and is always at pains to point out that the anti-M4A talking points his adversaries parrots were all developed by him, when he was on the wrong side of history.

Take this thread, rebutting Joe Biden's FUD about M4A, delivered in the midst of a pandemic that has been worsened by the 77 million un- and underinsured people who can't get care or screening and disproportionately work in food-service and cleaning.

https://twitter.com/wendellpotter/status/1237438497218105344

As Potter points out, Biden's assertion that M4A costs $35T is just a lie. Once you factor in the savings of not paying for private healthcare, M4A SAVES at least $450B/year.

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(19)33019-3/fulltext

Biden's plan to cap premiums on a public option at 8.5% of your income is more than double what M4A would cost you. The corporate plans Biden lionizes shackle good workers to bad employers, and put millions at risk of having their care arbitrarily withdrawn or limited. And, of course, private care doesn't cover much. Surprise bills, deductibles, co-pays, out-of-pockets… Our plan – a blue-chip employer's top-of-the-line Cigna plan – costs us $24K/year.

We're rationing our family's health care because in addition to the $20K/year we're paying out of pocket, Cigna refused to cover a pain procedure that my doc – the most-cited pain doc working in California, who runs a major university pain clinic – says I would benefit from. That procedure might let me get a good night's sleep for the first time in 15 years and allow me to live a more normal, pain-free life. But because Cigna won't cover it, it would cost $55K, which we do not have. So I'm foregoing it.

Ars Technica's Covid-19 explainer is the best resource on the pandemic (permalink)

I've been reading Beth Mole's outstanding science journalism for many years and I've always admired it, but even by the high standards of a Beth Mole explainer, this soup-to-nuts Covid-19 explainer is just spectacularly good work.

https://arstechnica.com/science/2020/03/dont-panic-the-comprehensive-ars-technica-guide-to-the-coronavirus/

Mole's calm and comprehensive coverage relies on the most reliable sources and turns the results of our best evidence-based studies into a coherent narrative, from the disease's origins to its spread to its symptoms to its resolution.

Just this symptom-by-symptom breakdown was enormously informative and filled in a huge gap that I had previously mentally signposted as "flu-like".

According to data from nearly 56,000 laboratory-confirmed COVID-19 patients in China, the rundown of common symptoms went as follows:

88 percent had a fever

68 percent had a dry cough

38 percent had fatigue

33 percent coughed up phlegm

19 percent had shortness of breath

15 percent had joint or muscle pain

14 percent had a sore throat

14 percent headache

11 percent had chills

5 percent had nausea or vomiting

5 percent had nasal congestion

4 percent had diarrhea

Less than one percent coughed up blood or blood-stained mucus

Less than one percent had watery eyes

The sections on transmission, self-protection, and care during a social distancing lockdown or quarantine are likewise levelheaded, clear and informative.

This is a tab you should just keep open in your browser, IOW. Mole's updating frequently, too.

Boeing is even worse at financial engineering than they are at aircraft engineering (permalink)

Boeing is experiencing a potentially terminal slump. Between losses due to its 737 Max scandal (a self-inflicted injury), and the dropoff in travel during the pandemic, it has had to draw down its entire line of credit and institute a hiring freeze.

https://wolfstreet.com/2020/03/11/boeing-crashes-as-43-billion-in-past-share-buybacks-turn-into-existential-threat

Obviously, Boeing can't be blamed for the pandemic.

But you know what is absolutely the company's fault? Its financial engineering.

Since 2013, Boeing squandered $43 billion on stock buybacks, whose sole purpose was to goose its share-price.

As Wolf Richter writes, Boeing, this "master of financial engineering – instead of aircraft engineering – blew, wasted, and incinerated $43.4 billion on buying back its own shares."

The company just had to borrow $13.825B. Its shares are down 46% since March 2019.

The entire company – a jewel of American industry – might not survive, because it focused on short-term enrichment of shareholders, rather than safe aircraft or financial prudence.

Reality has a well-known anti-capitalist bias, part MMMLVII.

Senate Republicans kill emergency sick leave during pandemic (permalink)

Senate Republicans have killed emergency sick leave legislation, a move that will force millions of low-waged cleaning and food-service workers to choose between homelessness and potentially spreading Covid-19.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/coronavirus-paid-sick-leave-us-republicans-block-senate-bill-new-york-washington-a9395821.htm

The GOP says that paid sick leave will endanger the fragile bottom lines of employers and also that the feds have no money to pay for such a thing – despite finding it easy to blow $2.3 trillion on tax-cuts for the super-rich.

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/28/tax-cuts-trump-gop-analysis-430781

They also found $20 BILLION in the senate's sofa cushions to give to the Pentagon, an agency whose auditor found more than a trillion dollars in off-the-books transactions in its financial records.

https://www.defensenews.com/congress/2019/12/19/pentagon-finally-gets-its-2020-budget-from-congress/

Refusing to help poor Americans stay fed and sheltered isn't just cruel, it's lethally reckless, and it demonstrates the moral hazard of oligarchic capitalism. Subsidizing sick-leave would merely afford survival to millions of Americans, after all.

Whereas the crisis that this will produce – a pandemic that is made worse and longer – will cost billions more, but that money will go to the donor-class, the Beltway Bandits whose cost-plus, no-bid contracts will transfer even more money from the poor to the wealthy.

It's disaster capitalism at its worst. The Senate GOP is dooming you and everyone you love to the risk of disease and death because preventing that risk would help millions of poor people, whereas creating the risk helps a handful of ultrarich people.

The EU's new Right to Repair rules finally come for electronics (permalink)

The EU Commission's latest "Circular Economy Action Plan" has enormous significance for Right to Repair and electronics.

https://ec.europa.eu/environment/circular-economy/pdf/new_circular_economy_action_plan.pdf

In addition to a host of eminently sensible, long overdue measures (bans on single use items and the destruction of unsold goods), there's a renewed emphasis on electronics, through the "Circular Electronics Initiative".

https://techcrunch.com/2020/03/11/european-lawmakers-propose-a-right-to-repair-for-mobiles-and-laptops/

The initiative mandates that components be reusable, repairable, and upgradable, and requires long-term software support to keep IoT devices useful for longer. These mandates – also long overdue – show that the EU is finally willing to ignore the priorities of Apple and other US Big Tech companies in favour of Europeans' rights to the long-term enjoyment of their property and the right not to drown in e-waste).

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/08/ghost-flights/#eurighttorepair

How to run a virtual classroom (permalink)

For 14 years, Stanford Online High School has been running fully virtual classrooms, with continuous, ongoing improvements in their tech and methods. They've just published a new guide to "the essential steps for preparing to teach online in a short period of time." They're also conducting a series of webinars on the subject.

https://ohs.stanford.edu/how

(I just realized that I've got a decade-old mail rule that autodeletes anything containing the word "webinar" that I probably need to turn off now that the term is being used by people other than hustling spammy grifters)

This day in history (permalink)

#10yrsago Leaked UK record industry memo sets out plans for breaking copyright https://craphound.com/BPDigitalEconomyBillweeklyminutes.pdf

#5yrsago Portland cops charge homeless woman with theft for charging her phone https://news.streetroots.org/2015/03/06/homeless-phone-charging-thief-wanted-security

#5yrsago How Harper's "anti-terror" bill ends privacy in Canada http://www.michaelgeist.ca/2015/03/why-the-anti-terrorism-bill-is-really-an-anti-privacy-bill-bill-c-51s-evisceration-of-government-privacy/

#5yrsago RIP, Terry Pratchett https://web.archive.org/web/20150312202353/http://www.pjsmprints.com/

#1yrago Security researcher reveals grotesque vulnerabilities in "Yelp-for-MAGA" app and its snowflake owner calls in the FBI

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Slashdot (https://slashdot.org), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/).

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Museums and the Web: March 31-April 4 2020, Los Angeles. https://mw20.museweb.net/

Currently writing: I'm rewriting a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm also working on "Baby Twitter," a piece of design fiction also set in The Lost Cause's prehistory, for a British think-tank. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel afterwards.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: A Lever Without a Fulcrum Is Just a Stick https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_330/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_330_-_A_Lever_Without_a_Fulcrum_Is_Just_a_Stick.mp3

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

[bunkershotgolf]

China’s Li Makes Full Use of Downtime During Golf’s Coronavirus Break

Haotong Li, the first mainland Chinese golfer to feature in the Presidents Cup, is making the most out of golf’s enforced shutdown due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

The mercurial Li has used his extended time at home to plan for a quick return into the upper echelons in the world order after slipping out of the top-50 of the Official World Golf Ranking last year.

The 24-year-old has read books to enrich his mind, invested in fitness equipment and a golf simulator to get stronger and sharper and more importantly, donated US$142,647 from his Presidents Cup charitable allocation towards the Hubei Charity Federation for Covid-19 relief.

“I am very touched to see those workers who are going to the frontlines for assistance,” said Li, winner of the inaugural PGA TOUR Series-China Order of Merit.

Now a two-time European Tour winner, Li hopes his dedication will revive his form which has seen him notch only two top-10s in the past year. He also lost his two matches at the Presidents Cup at Royal Melbourne Golf Club last December, which soured a highly anticipated debut as the first mainland Chinese golfer to qualify for the International Team.

“I have conducted a review of my whole career and had a lot of talks with my family and friends, trying to find out where I can do better in the future. And the more I think about it, the desire of getting back to play in tournaments grows. There’s one thing that I’m certain that this shutdown would only make me love golf more,” he said.

“I think the number one priority (during the shutdown) is to keep practicing because this is a great chance to adjust my swing and improve my skills.”

He reckons his decline in form has been self-inflicted. “I always wanted every shot to be perfect and apparently, that doesn’t help you when you are not in the best condition. So, this is what I’m working on aside from my golf techniques.”

Li added that he enjoyed reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, a book which has sold over two million copies and translated into 30 foreign languages. It touches on the principles of finding one’s true and deepest self which piqued his interest.

“I’ve been reading books and learning new things which has been a good way to spend time. The Eckhart Tolle book is mainly about how to communicate with your deepest self and how to find your inner peace. Some opinions could be helpful, like how to focus on “now” and how this would help you get rid of some negative thoughts. But I have to say that I may not agree with all the points the author raised. Generally speaking, it’s worth a read,” said Li.

The golf break enabled Li to continue with a course in Sports Training by the Shenzhen University and he has also spent time competing with compatriot Ashun Wu on the golf simulator.

“I was be able to finish some college courses which I missed out in the past. And playing a few times on the CGA Simulator Challenge with my tour buddy Ashun was fun,” he said.

He misses the competition “a lot” and cannot wait to tee it up again to get the adrenaline flowing once more. “(I’ve missed) the cheering crowd, all my friends on tour, and mostly the exciting feeling that you get after making a nice shot during competition,” said the lanky Chinese.

The health situation has served to remind Li to value what he has achieved in his short but successful career thus far which includes the two victories on the European Tour. He won three times on the 2014 PGA TOUR Series-China en route to becoming the No. 1 on the developmental circuit.

“Luckily, none of my family and friends were affected by the virus directly. My mom been very cautious and when I was still out there playing on tour months back, she always shared tips with me and reminds me to wash my hands often and wear masks,” he said.

“We lost lives every day. All industries got hurt and people got worried about jobs and income. I believe we will get over this in the end as long as we stick together and help each other.”

Li is not giving up his dream of competing full-time on the PGA TOUR and returning for a second Presidents Cup appearance next year when Quail Hollow Club in Charlotte, North Carolina hosts the prestigious team competition.

“The PGA TOUR is a very challenging tour where you have to bring out your best game against the world’s top players every week to stay high up on the ranking. In the past, I’ve played some good rounds in major events but I would need to get that stability and be more mentally strong. This is what I’m working on right now,” said Li.

“The experience (at the Presidents Cup) is quite unforgettable and I still feel excited about that. I didn’t play in every round and I believe in our captain (Ernie Els) and every decision he made. Honestly speaking, I could have done better in those two matches which I played in but I didn’t and that is the most disappointing part of my first Presidents Cup journey. But as I said just after the tournament, I believe I can prove myself if I get a chance to play in the International Team again.

“I really loved the atmosphere of the Presidents Cup which you won’t know until you’ve been there. I didn’t have a great debut but I want to go back and prove myself.”

Note: Attached image is for one-time use only with this press release and must be credited to IMG. If you wish to unsubscribe from this email list, please reply with the subject title “Unsubscribe”.

[sundeepsingh4949]

Interview Questions & Answers:

Target Audience: Any person who takes part in the healthcare system and their health (any age group)

  What do I want to learn from this Interview: What kind of impact this app would have if it were launched in this demographic?

 1.     How old are you?

·       37

·       40

·       40

·       41

·       45

·       47

·       47

·       49

 2.     How are you feeling today?

·       Calm

·       Good

·       I am felling okay today, feeling little overwhelmed.

·       Okay

·       Pretty Good!

·       Tired

·       Great

·       Not too bad

 3.     How do you evaluate your overall health?

·       my overall health is great. I am a full-time nursing student so lots of time is spent sitting and making time for physical activity is often hard. I do eat a well-balanced diet and make sure that I indulge in self-care that is not only good for my inner self but also for my outer self. My health can sometimes take a backseat because being a nursing student often means putting your work first or the care of others, so self-care has been a learning journey for me.

·       I’m a fairly healthy person.

·       Decent

·       By mood

·       Not super good but it’s getting there

·       I’m physically healthy, but not mentally and emotionally healthy. Sometimes I become my own biggest critic.

·       Above average? I eat well, exercise, and get decent sleep.

·       I would say that my health is overall okay, there are some things I need to change like eating more frequently or exercising more

 4.     What changes have you noticed in your health over time?

·       I have noticed better sleeping and eating habits. I also noticed that I schedule more leisure time. I lost a lot of weight (40 lbs.) over the last 3 years and that has changed my overall activity and ability to function exponentially. like I said in the previous question, self-care has become a part of a developed routine over time

·       Getting worse

·       Slightly poor stamina and low energy

·       more anxious

·       Differences in feelings, appearance and appetite

·       I’ve seen my body getting stronger and more physically fit, while training my mind to be happy as well.

·       Harder to wake up, sometimes get random pains, and generally can’t do somethings I used too.

·       I have noticed that my appetite has gotten smaller, and I am eating less which I attributed to the fact that I haven’t been working out for awhile

 5.     Do you currently have a health insurance, and do you feel comfortable sharing your current health information with your doctor or insurance companies? Please Explain.

·       Yes, I have health insurance. I do feel comfortable sharing it... but it’s not accepted by all types of medical locations so finding a good center that takes my insurance can often be a lot of work.

·       Yes, I have health insurance and I feel comfortable sharing my healthy information with my doctor.

·       I do have insurance. I do share some health information with my doctor, but they don’t really take it seriously

·       Yes, I currently have health insurance and I do feel comfortable sharing my health information with my doctor because I’d like to have any health concerns I have addressed.

·       Yes, I am very upfront with my doctors/insurance about issues I may be having because communication is key in order to keep your health in perfect shape.

·       Yes, only due to the fact that I’ve been going to the same place and when I have to change, I feel I might not be as comfortable

·       Yes, since my treatments require specific practitioners in order to receive proper treatment and my insurance only has a limited number of providers under coverage.

·       Yes, I do, and yes, I am. I know how important that information is for me to get a proper diagnosis, as well as the coverage I need for said diagnosis

 6.     Were you able to visit your doctor as usual throughout the pandemic? Please explain your experience.

·       Yes, I was able to. I went in just for my yearly physical exams and blood work, but the process was the same just implemented with covid safety guidelines

·       Yes, I was. I had to wear a mask, do a screening and social distance but everything else was the same as usual.

·       Yes, however, only seldom was I able to visit. I visited maybe once or twice over the course of a year and a half.

·       I didn’t need to go but if needed, yes, I was able to see a doctor during the pandemic.

·       Yes, they had just implemented mask policies along with temperature checks and a survey about symptoms before you step into the building.

·       Thankfully I did not have an issue that required me to meet my physician during the course of the pandemic.

·       Yes, I was able to visit both in person and tele health. The experience was good because I feel like I was getting the care I needed and even in the telehealth visit which was a new experience, it was helpful because the doctor was able to prescribe me antibiotics for a viral infection I had caught

·       Yes, smaller clinic so easier to follow covid rules

 7.     Have you ever been diagnosed with a disease that you may have avoided if caught early? What disease was it? Please explain your experience.

·       No... but I had asthma due to being born 2 months premature which led to my lungs and the amount of surfactant in lungs being underproduced (which is more so a congenital condition) but for about the last 8-10 years I have outgrown my asthma.

·       No, I haven’t.

·       Covid-19 shouldn't have gone out

·       No nothing like that

·       No, I have not

·       No, I have not been diagnosed with a disease.

·       Depression and it could have been avoided by being in a better environment or having family members that noticed the change in behavior and overall lifestyle.

·       No, I have not been diagnosed with a disease that I could have avoided

 8.     What are some of the things that you find difficult to manage on your own in terms of your health?

·       The thing I find hardest to manage is finding time to exercise. Even if I step away 30 minutes to get a workout in, I often feel anxious that I am not studying enough. This is something I would like to implement.

·       I get a bad cough once or twice a year and it didn’t go away no matter what medicine I take

·       Nutrition, and emotional wellness. As a student who’s constantly on the go, it is a hassle to eat something healthy and fulfilling when so many fatty, fried foods are around me. furthermore, I need positive reinforcement and an uplift to get my mind in the right place.

·       Um I guess I would say more sugar level of blood pressure.

·       Managing headaches. I get a decent amount of sleep, but sometimes when I experience headaches, I find it hard to just relax and lie down due to my tendency to stay occupied with a hobby or task.

·       Accurately tracking activity, finding things actually beneficial to health from reliable sources, and remembering to take care of myself

·       Having the proper environment to improve on my health

·       It is difficult to manage healthy eating habits because majority of the time, I feel like I don’t have enough time to make myself a proper meal or meal prep, so I end up buying food outside or barely eating

 9.     Do you have people in your life who can help you cope with health issues and were they able to succeed? How were they able to help?

·       yes. my family, friends, and boyfriend have helped me in overcome insecurities and often just discussing changes and having a gameplan is good.

·       Yes, my parents. Always kept an eye out for any distress I may be in

·       Yes, they would give me tips and check up on if i did the things to get better. i.e.: take my medicine

·       Yes. My friends and family. They were able to offer me verbal and emotional support.

·       I do have people like that. They shared with me their own struggles and ways in which they overcame them.

·       Yes. I have people in my life who can help me cope with health issues.

·       Yes, I’ve never had any serious issues that required their health though.

·       Yes, just by listening and providing the right resources

 10.  What kind of care do you require, and are you receiving it?

·       I require an inhaler and yes

·       My health is in decent condition. The only care that I require is mental health care. I am planning on going back to a therapist soon.

·       I need good sleep and I’m receiving it

·       Mental health care, eye care, medical care, and I am currently receiving them.

·       Monthly care and yes.

·       I do require physical care and mental care and I get these either from my doctor or friends or family

·       General care I assume and yes, I am

 11.  How many types of medication do you take and are they prescribed by your doctor?

·       I take no medications. For my asthma I did take a singular and an asthma pump (Ventolin) but since I outgrew the asthma, I no longer take these medications- they were prescribed

·       Albuterol and montelukast, yes, it is.

·       Just vitamins. Nope

·       Kepra and lamotrigine

·       I take three types of medication and they are all prescribed by my psychiatrist.

·       Not really any

·       3 and yes

·       I take 3 and only one is prescribed the others are OTC vitamins

 12.  Would you prefer if there was a system in place that can monitor your health 24/7?

·       YES – 79.2%

·       NO - 20.8%

[weabbynormalblog]

Childhood trauma=Adult Survivor

The things we tell ourselves. Be careful for what you wish for. Its really important to stop crying over shit you can't change or control.

I know its hard. Don't do this don't do that etc. Suffering is necessary especially if your a Buddhist and certainly if your human.

The Sercret, The law of attraction, the latest buzz words, you'll catch more bees with honey, that's a fact. Act now! Try this! Find the easy way out? Is there an easy way? No decision is still a decision. Stay, go, turn in circles, pondering the all of its entirety. All vying as your solution. Yes like attracts Like. FACT Belief overules like. Thats why "This shit of attracting is all wrong!". " Hello? Belief is everything!" Its our level of personal experience that is my "now" domain. I'm the God here in my life in this body today. I believe what I believe till I believe otherwise...I say the human experience should be all-inclusive, empathetic, understanding and supportive. Most people and humanitarians would agree. That's not how nature works. Survival of the fitess. Do or die. Like attracts like and I get tackled and body slammed to the ground. Why? Am I a bad person because of "xyz"? Nope. Did I do something to someone else? No. This time it was all because I was mad, triggered and I exploded; had a verbal melt down. The neighbor was disturbed by my authentic emotions. No nukes were sent, no one is getting hurt here. Just venting and trying to work out my anger. Not to hold shit in and to stop the rings of abuse. Clearly the other person in the room was overwhelmed too. Im trying to solve some issues instead I get yelling and fuck yous. I know this is not my fault!!!??? I know the whatever happened to me. "Insert major life changing event here" I am changed there is no doubt...nothing worked out as I hopped or wished it. Even so I took all steps necessary and just the same outcome. Still void, suffering and unremarkable. Yet I am where I am. No further along or better or worst off. Cha cha cha! And I must do without and put up with injustice. Denied!!! All my emotions are tied up in a neat, tight, the most perfect, best ball of raw ugly emotions on a kitchen timer ever ...I can't talk to anyone about anything, thier shackles get up and they go on the defensive, then arguing and me walking away because again I am unable to communicate what I need and overwhelmed again by my situation. Unable to communicate what is necessary for us solve our issues to move on together or apart. Grrrrr This is so common for us with brain injury, PTSD and many other host of mental health issues. There is so much that needs to be said that it gets left unsaid. Often its too late for those in need. Its very difficult to relate and communicate effectively beyond our frustration with others. We don't have the copping tools or vocabulary to express it in times of great frustration or in dire situations specifically. Am I doing something wrong? How do I change it? I must also learn to protect myself as well. So I try to diffuse with humor. So hey dial it back a thousand buddy, calm down~ me im doing my breathing exercise "listen I got high blood pressure" in hopes they back down and talk calmly and nope. Another deep breath counting on the in to 5 hippopotamus hold 6 out 7 or 9 hippopotamus depending on my stress level at the time. Look I got a Brain injury, cant we get along? Meet half way? Can we talk later? When were not angry? No? Then just leave me alone and finally I get to walk away having dealt with someone within conflict as effective as possible. Progress for me even though nothing was resolved ~ yes theres more pain and more frustration. Live and try again tomorrow or move on. When being in a place of anger thats all you can relate to, you are not able to understand anything else? Some can some can't. Im working on my flexibility, trust, bettering my health, down to my now moment. They want some kind of resolution and they end up dragging me back under again with things that aren't helpful for me, no truth, no resolution and just more critism and blaming. Not productive. Toxic people thrive in thier emotional power. Next step then. If they can not find the same patience you need to work on "issues" then work on improving your boundaries. Refuse to discuss issues when angry, make time to talk to suit

everyone. Agree to listen and then be heard. Set a timer. Be open, be reserved to be more distant from other people emotions and be more grounded with your own. Recognize and hone in on your own emotions. Practicing mindfulness, meditation, a healthful regime, socializing that benefits you too is necessary to being a good human. Im so tired of the fucking ripples that keep all my family apart already...All of it stems from the abuse and damage to the core of my soul that left rings on my childrens' lives as well. My Maternal Grandmother was in the Holocaust that tends to mare your parenting skills and the ripples expand. 3 to 4 generations of children no longer speaking to thier mothers. Im sure thier mothers were not to blame. No one protected me either. I was given up for adoption. I was abused. It happens.Thats ok I'll work with what I got. It can end there. No need to add to a bad situation. Maybe the 1person I sent off had my back. All because I promised Daddy Warbucks to make sure my best friend got on that plane. I understand I haven't been as good a friend to myself than I have to others. I was very self sacrificing like everything was my fault. Ive turned that bus around. At the end of the day you may think nothing matters. You matter! This world is nothing without your unique personality in it. Yet here you sit alone in fears with tears streaming down into rivers...I don't know about you but Im tired of wet feet. A lifetime of abuse and suffering very often at the hand of others. I over compensated for everything. Even my language supported it. It did surprised me on the face of Oliver that day. It was painful and it revealed more of the abuse of self to me often forgotten in the past similar moments of thier upbringings. Aha! PTSD, ADHT, me with Dyslexia no doubt I suffered along with my children. 11 years later we are finally starting to do the work that should of been done back then. No one was ready. I would of made my son sit at the table during dinner. Pressured my husband to enforce our agreed rules. Took time to feel and deal with the loss of Pearl, our marriage and business ...trying to understand our feelings, deal with our mental health issues Before seemed impossible, I never gave up on my family. i gave them the space they needed. Now theres Covid restrictions and passports. This stupid ass greedy human world. And now geography is still in our way. Its a lot and still only a fraction of what some humans suffer from the hands of other humans. Very sad. Friends will come and go. I know its what needs to happen. The toxic people have to learn thier lessons too. Next step is slow down give yourself some space and peace. Deep breathing till you feel you can respond when dealing with conflict. Or make another time to work on it. Do things at your own pace, no excuse needed they will wait, they feed off of it. Practice beneficial things. Like being self sufficient, its a struggle worthy of the time and effort. Im working to overcome my issues. I now know that's not the way that love or friendship should work. I ask why me what did I do to deserve such torture? I remind myself, it's only 1 part of the journey. Everyone hurts, cries and dies. Love should bring out the best. Not the worst. They are a lousy mirror right now. Thats ok we can still move forward. I can forgive them for what they were not capable of. I love them inspite of it all. As is, as it always has been. They were only capable of showing the negative even when I worked so hard to stay positive and be a good example. If not me then who? Critisim everywhere. No solutions only problems. They beat me down at every turn...I'm still breathing. Everything's a contest and no one ever wins. If you can't do this, then how are you going to do that? Why are you judging me and why do I care so much? I care not to be in conflict and this is what is driving or rather coloring my reality. I avoid conflict like Covid. My childhood trauma that I thought I dealt with years of therapy and moved on from was rearing its ugly head yet again. How

do I slay the beast for all time? My limiting behavior needed more help. So I needed to build a better foundation for myself. One built on everthing in its own time with practice, patience,acceptance, learning and more growth. So I won't have to walk away from conflict ever again. I can lean in and help us grow together as a couple or as a family or be what the other human needs positively in thier now moment. Sometimes its not about us, its about giving back with what we have learnt. I know it sucks that we have been thrown to the odds of fate to do better apart. Its not thier fault, or mine either. Yet heres me litterally paying for all of it. With my resources, energy, health and sanity. History has a way of slapping you in the face. Yes Im woke as fuck! Your opposition yes they too pay with thier blood, sweat and tears. Perhaps never on the same page or kiss or moment. At times my heart is so broken. Doubting thoughts need correcting. Like I want nothing much to do with the whole entire human race right now, I mean you no ill will. The Talliban kill with impunity, chaos and destruction in thier wake. Do they have no wants or desires but only destruction for what they can't have? Cant we teach them how to live, love and listen? Do they not want the same as others? A healthy family, a roof over ones head and food in our bellies? Are we not all from this world? I was told this duality is healthy. The human condition needs to see destruction to appreciate growth. I still don't know how this all will help that woman with the gun pointed at her head or to watch your family be slautered in front of your eyes. No human should know this. Violence has always been a part of being human. We are a human animal. I protect my life and those that I love. Life and death I choose to fight for my life and thiers. I also choose to fight for others ...when in reality we are just fighting ourselves. I appreciate everything I lost and have. So I sit in what will be my art studio and den...I know my worth and how lucky I am. I look about all the things that are still here. Stuff holds space. Illusions fade. Love can hold space for others. Did they loved me enough to say your beautiful or even I love you? Or cared enough to be by your side during your worst moments. Perhaps a we'll get through this together? Good thing I never needed any of that. I was always able alone. I did need kindness, empathy, support and understanding. It was devastating to be met with violence. Everthing was a fight in my life. But isn't that the nature of living? Personally Im tired of the abuse. They throw it back in your face every chance they get. So it seems the lesson is to look at who Iam or are. After reflection its our belief of who they are and who we are in conflict that decides the winner. Can they learn to look beyond winners and loosers? Meet us half way? Walk a mile in my shoes. I know I can. Its going to take lots of patience, proactive support and some serious housework and cleaning to shape up humanity on this world. I'm doing my work. Im not on this rock to police or please others. What about these toxic people? Where are thier lessons? They need help too, no? Society and my answer to that, is you have to go! Then the police say no. Due to Pandemic Conditions; I am in utter disbelief but I do understand. Past abuse that was not legally recorded. Yadda, Yadda shwing shwing. What about my rights and issues? Legal up Baby! Money and the boys club is still king. Harsh as it was, there are many other moments in my life that hurt me way more. I will survive this and move well beyond. I will not let others narrow mindedness change who I am. Openess, understanding, no judgements here. Yet my generousity was used against me and in the worst way by people I love like no others. Betrayed again. 》Tip off here. Recurring themes. Betrayal can be healed. At the time you could have punched me in the stomach, I wouldn't, couldn't even feel it. There was nothing but numb and delayed reactions. "Let's face it, the best is never good enough when you

have suffered abuse and neglect." Its a deep riff and or trauma that someone else may be responsible for in your psychological makeup that makes and moulds us too. It happens a lot. Unfortunatly its more common than not. Childhood trauma. I get that. As an adult I know it's my cup to fill. Unknowingly I may have inflicted it onto others, for that I apologize. I'm still a work in progress, working on myself here. I'm the one falling, stumbling and then I get back up. The damage has been done. Please walk away, I got this now. They had affected everything I did. At the sink, the powder room, the work, the garage.....mess here and there, important things left undone...here's me trying to get them all done and save the world too in one breath. No wonder its too big, too heavy and we all need to lift. The first step is admiting ill be ok, I've got my back. I'll get through this like everything else with tears, journaling and a hot beverage. I send strength and courage to those in need. You will find a way to cope, help and move on. Believe! I'll leave that guitar right there as a reminder of my shit and thiers. Along with the 7k check and your ego at the door. Let go of all expectations, broken words and promises. The stuff they said they would do...that they never did. You want something done? Do it yourself. Can't do it all then get the professional that you need.

I understand you are broken, we all are. The catch is you have to fix it and fill it. Talk to someone you trust or write it down, talk it into a recording app...whatever help you need you deal with it in a positive way 7f you can't then look that shit up. Own your shit and get on with living! You can do this! If you live in fear find a way to empower and protect yourself. Just remember we are just human here, right now. No super powers, no agents for the world or our times. Be humble, be open, heal yourselves and then help heal others. 1 person and 1 step at a time. Like the green grass that's brown in the spring, with water, care and nutrients in the fall it will be a sea of green. Small steps add up to big changes over time. Break it down. Carve out time for happiness practice. 15 minutes a day just you sitting in peace and quiet. Every step you take from here on will go in a positive, proactive solution oriented manor or not at all. It's what you choose to do《Tip. Choose better thoughts and food choices. Work on 1 thing at a time. This is what micromanagement is good for; on yourself. Yes we can be success and happy in life without anyone, that doesn't mean we should. We need to trust eachother and work together. We learn so much from conflict so don't fear it. Its what helps us grow and learn when we become stagnant.

[nqobilemkhize]

Think outside the box. Why not think like there is no box?

“Community requires us to think outside the box”, stated one of my classmates. “There is no box, the box is there by design. You designed the box to be there”, our lecturer replied. Something I have taken away from my experience on this block is that to thrive in community based Occupational Therapy (OT) one must remove the box because as much as thinking inside the box is limiting, thinking outside and around the box is just as limiting. For me that box is the medical model. The grassroot level engagement that occurs when we engage with communities requires OTs to shy away and not greatly depend on the medical model. This week’s blog post will discuss the role of OT in Primary Health Care (PHC) and share some examples on how media may be used as a tool for health promotion.

At the Alma Ata Declaration on Primary Health Care in 1978, PHC was defined as “essential health care based on practical, scientifically sound and socially acceptable methods and technology, made universally accessible to individuals and families in the community through their full participation and at a cost that the community and the country can afford to maintain at every stage of their development in the spirit of self-reliance and self-determination." PHC has been misconceptualised as only being curative, designed only for poor people, only based in the community and that PHC is cheap. Keleher (2001) stated that PHC requires intersectoral collaboration and multidisciplinary involvement in order for it to be successful. I agree, the Department of Health alone cannot complete all 8 elements of PHC which are Health education on prevailing health problems and the methods of preventing and controlling them; Nutritional promotion including food supply; Supply of adequate safe water and sanitation; Maternal and child health care; Immunization against major infectious diseases; Prevention and control of locally endemic diseases; Appropriate treatment of common diseases and injuries; and Provision of essential drugs (WHO, 1978).

What is the role of OT in PHC? A study by Naidoo, Van Wyk & Joubert (2016) explored how the role of OT in PHC is perceived by healthcare professionals in KZN, South Africa. The study included community healthcare workers, primary healthcare nurses, Department of Health Management and experienced and community service Occupational Therapists (OTs). All participants noted that OT was predominantly curative/rehabilitation-based and individualized, not enough was mentioned about health promotion and prevention initiatives and population-based approaches. The community healthcare workers expressed the need for OTs to involve them in their sessions and provide educational sessions for them due to not being well informed and therefore being unable to adequately assist the community especially people with disabilities. Another recommendation by the community healthcare workers was for OTs to center their services around the burden of disease in that particular community. During my current experience in a community setting we have not only provided rehabilitation services but we have provided remediation and health promotion services to the community. Health promotion through our talks at the clinic have been community-based and though treatment with individual clients has been client centered and individualized, central to treatment was the individual’s environment. I witnessed that community healthcare workers (referred to as community caregivers in the community in question) did not know what OT is and were happy to hand us the list of community members they were seeing and leave us to it. In order for carryover to occur and be effective when our block has ended, the community caregivers needed to be invited to sessions and work alongside us. I now realize our failure to foster a transdisciplinary approach. A recommendation for the new year may be for the students to host a workshop for the community caregivers where they educate them about OT and its role in PHC.

When individuals of the community are unwell they go to the clinic, PHC is thus the first level of contact in the healthcare system striving to bring health care as close as possible to where people live, it should be responsive to the needs of the community. Let us dissect the role of OT in PHC using the 8 elements of PHC. Health education on prevailing health problems and the methods of preventing and controlling them: this has already been discussed. Just like my group and I, other OTs can conduct health promotion speeches at clinics with particular focus on the most prevalent disease/s in that community. OTs can also provide health education at high schools (time management, stress management, anxiety management and other coping skills to prevent and/or manage mental health problems), old age homes (combat unconstructive use of leisure time and secondary complications of aging), places of safety and primary schools. Immunization against major infectious diseases where the public is urged to immunize will be part of health promotion together with Nutritional promotion and Prevention and control of locally endemic diseases. OT plays a vital role in Maternal and child health care. In South Africa HIV and AIDS, pregnancy and childbirth complications, neonatal illness, childhood illness, and malnutrition were identified as the main factors contributing to maternal and child mortality (Mabaso, Ndaba, & Mkhize-Kwitshana, 2014). A healthy mother equals a healthy child, focusing on the physical and mental well-being of the mother will aid the development of the child. During this block I have learned the importance of also focusing on the mother’s mental health, OT can have support groups for mothers of newborns and mothers of children with disabilities (other groups have been doing this). Helping children meet developmental milestones, preventing malnutrition and aiding the children in scholastic activities constitutes the role of OT in childcare. In PHC particularly in a community setting, OT should use the Community Based Rehabilitation Matrix as a guide to providing evidence-based practice.

A KwaZulu-Natal initiative to “enhance implementation of PHC Re-engineering by shifting the focus from facility-based care to community-based care, through inter-sectoral collaboration” KwaZulu-Natal Department of Health. Primary Health Care Re-engineering in KwaZulu-Natal. October 2012.

How can media be used as a tool for health promotion? “Media is instrumental in bringing behavioural changes in knowledge, beliefs, and attitudes about health and healthy behaviours. The present study takes into account the role of mass media for health education” (Sharma & Gupta, 2017). Print media – posters, flyers and adverts in local newspapers. My group and I used print media as a tool for health promotion when we made posters on mental health, physical health, peadiatric health and geriatric health and stuck them around the clinic. Whenever there are government led mass gatherings in the community, flyers can be made and handed out during those events. Broadcast media – using local radio stations to promote health and well-being with particular focus on those diseases that are prevalent in the community. The community where I am currently doing my fieldwork has a local radio station which is situated on the same premises as the clinic, next years students should take advantage of this to reach the members of the community that do not come to the clinic and get an opportunity to listen to the health promotion talks. The internet – the COVID-19 pandemic has forced us to be creative in finding ways live life amidst the luring pandemic. This is why when we could not provide OT services to the learners at the local high school due to the learners having a jampacked timetable, a unique idea to make short videos to send to the learners via their school WhatsApp chat was formulated. Sending videos means that the learners will always have something to refer to in times of need. Due to many people using some sort of social media platform, going forward using the internet (keeping data costs in mind) can be the next best option in providing health promotion.

Many people are unaware of Occupational Therapy, health professionals included. What can us OTs do about that? How can we make our much needed and unique profession know? I have realized that it starts at the Primary Health Care level, when we are known at grassroot level the only way from there is up. Perhaps as a profession we need to remove the box that we think is limiting us.

The journey continues

#Growing #Learning #FledgingOT

KwaZulu-Natal Department of Health. Primary Health Care Re-engineering in KwaZulu-Natal. October 2012.

Keleher H: Why primary health care offers a more comprehensive approach for tackling health inequities than primary care. Aust J Prim Health. 2001, 7 (2): 57-61. 10.1071/PY01035.

Mabaso, M. H., Ndaba, T., & Mkhize-Kwitshana, Z. L. (2014). Overview of Maternal, Neonatal and Child Deaths in South Africa: Challenges, Opportunities, Progress and Future Prospects. International journal of MCH and AIDS, 2(2), 182–189.

Sharma  S,  Gupta Y.  Mass  media for  health  education (astudy in the state of Rajasthan).Multidiscip Int J2017;01:26–39

Van Weel C, De Maeseneer J: Now more than ever: World Health Assembly revisits primary health care. Prim Health Care Res Devel. 2010, 11: 1-3.

World Health Organization. Primary health care: report of the international conference on primary health care, Alma-Ata, USSR. Geneva: World Health Organization; 1978.

WHO. World Health Report (2008). Primary Health Care – Now more than ever

[themindofaconflictedrebelot]

Is the sustainable development goals for my community the same as for your community: come take a drive with me on a goal setting journey?

When using appropriate and context-appropriate sustainable development goals, they show us the importance of considering the needs of the clients within a community and the community but also looking at the needs of future generations and environmentally sustainable best ethical practice and intervention implementation within different communities (Jenkin et al, 2016). For the community I saw the need to implement these five sustainable development goals; namely, good health and well-being by promoting healthy lives and promote well-being for all ages (SDG3), gender equality is a human right and is vital for a peaceful, prosperous world (SDG5), peace & justice (SDG16), decent work and economic growth (SDG8), and Education (SDG4) as a way to help to improve their livelihoods and work towards a healthy community. Even though the broadness of sustainability makes it difficult to understand as a comprehensible whole, and focusing on some aspects, while realising their interdependence with others, maybe fruitful for occupational therapy (Wagman et al, 2020).

Google (2020).

Good health and well-being impacts all the others SDG’s and from my primary focus would be at implementing this goal within my community as health is the basis for engagement in life’s most treasured areas of occupation. Using the famous definition of health by WHO (2015), health is a complete physical, mental and social well-being, and it is not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. Most people due to their condition be it mental, physical or psychosocial related difficulties are unable to live their lives and engage in their most valued and age-appropriate areas of occupation. Working in this community has shown me that there are so many people that may seem “healthy” from afar but once you get to know them you get to understand that they are not well in different ways apart from the physical aspect. For example, one of the clients that we saw at the clinic and during the health promotion talks and as we were trying to get to know and see if she or someone close to her needed occupational therapy assessment and intervention, she then opened up to us after we told her that we work with mental and social issues too and not just physical difficulties, she then explained how she feels so scared of being a mother and how her child’s father left her and she is even contemplating terminating the pregnancy, she went on to tell us how the whole pregnancy has negatively impacted her life. And we wouldn’t have found about all these problems if we just assumed that she was fine because she physically looked fine. So as an occupational therapist we look at a person holistically and this way we can promote good health and well-being. And this is an approach that is wildly required in this community because there is are a lot of community members that look healthy from afar but you need to dig deeper and find out their difficulties so you can bring about a complete state of health within the community and with all persons no matter their age.

Google (2020).

The next SDG that needs to be implemented is gender equality is a human right. I’ve seen so many women in my community abused; physically, emotionally, and sexually. The rate of gender inequality is evident in their family dynamics and the number of women who are at the mercy of violent males, it is evident when assessing engagement in areas of occupation such as IADL’s with the females being the ones who engage in home management and the care of others. With predominantly community members from the isiZulu cultural culture, with males placed at a place of supremacy when compared to women. It’s sad how gender inequality is embodied by culture and religion, this way of thinking has been conditioned in us over generations and generations and when you look at it that is the case in most cultures and communities. The stepping stone is to empower women, empower them with prevocational skills to enable them to find means of employment, educate them on gender equality without judging, going against or contradicting their beliefs. By this way, we can try slowly try to change how they raise their children and the beliefs they raise them with and hopefully, the next generation will be freed from the chains of gender equality.  Thus we need to open their eyes to their possibilities and potentials so that they stop believing that they are inferior to women because in the notorious RGB’s words, “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made, it shouldn’t be that women are the exception”.

Google (2020).

I’ve seen much injustice in the healthcare sector in my community that I have implemented the peace and justice SDG because as an occupational therapist I need to be able to point out all the injustices in the community and advocate for my client’s. Puzzling how we need to advocate for the ethical treatment of our client’s within the health setting, taking for example when I had to advocate and arrange a meeting with the local social worker that in the community that I’m currently working in, I had to try to convince her to look into my client’s case and then after that she continued to give reasons as to why she couldn’t see the client and all of these reasons were non-void, due to this I had to then refer to another social worker in another clinic around the area who was then able to work with her. So, even if you advocate and you hit a brick wall you need to find other means of getting your client equal health care services that they need. It’s difficult to understand how healthcare workers are the people that are supposed to be advocating peace and justice but they are the same people performing injustices but sometimes all you can do is your part and in doing so make sure that you give your client the best possible interventions. With the amount of food security economic instability within the community that I am working at I saw the need to implement the decent work and economic growth SDG as it aims for sustainable economic growth and decent employment for all. As occupational therapists we play a vital role in work as this is one of the areas of occupation, and most persons within the community that I work are unemployed and the majority of these people are persons with a disability, not even one my client’s that I have seen thus far are employed scary right, and this is evident in the food insecurity in the community. This leads to most children from family’s attacked by food insecurity going to school with empty stomachs and this negatively affects their ability to learn and retain information in class and this, in turn, leads to increased failure rates. This is one of the main areas that affect children’s performance in their education area of occupation, with this harming their ability to find employment and the cycle keeps on repeating itself. To curb this cycle, we need to start with equipping these community members with the correct prevocational skills that will enable them to find means of employment. Taking into consideration my 16-year-old child who is diagnosed with mild intellectual impairment, she is currently not schooling and is not engaging in any development activities thus she will not be able to get decent work in future. To stop this, I have arranged referred have spoken to her social worker, who is going to help enrol her in a special school at the beginning of the year next in since she was able to find a school this year because it is too far into the year and schools are not excepting new learners and also due to COVID-19. But as her occupational therapist I have to start now with improving the psychosocial factors that are impaired to enable her to improve her function by engaging in leisure activities that will give her skills that she will be able to use to find a job, for example, she may be able to work as a packer at a supermarket or work in a sheltered workshop. There is a great need to implement the SDG that relates to education to enable the community members to have access to inclusive, equitable quality education (Bebbington and Unerman, 2018). The number of children that are of school-going age and are not in school is alarming and the number of children who are stuck in a mainstream school but they are not able to meet the demands of a mainstream school is also scary in the community that I’m currently working in. The role of occupational therapy in the case of children who are in a mainstream school but are not coping with its demands is to work with schools to identify these children and work towards getting the into the necessary special schools and skills workshops to provide them with the necessary tools that they need to engage in life. When working with children that are of school-going age but not going to school, we need to assess the reasons behind them not going to school and work with the social worker to find them the correct school placements. In not forgetting about informal schooling we have a big role in providing community members with skills that will enable them to cope with their daily lives and improve the independence and function in their areas of occupation. In occupational therapy, activities need to be occupation-focused and promote health. Community mobility enables clients with access to activity arenas for participation and thereby influences health and in community-based treatment, we need to work towards improving client’s community to allow them to access places to engage in meaningful occupations. Intervention may include geriatric interventions to support and promote health in the elderly as per SDG 3. We also need to look at working towards to improving the care of ‘the sickest older adults’, who are at risk of becoming marginalised when the ordinary care system fails to sufficiently acknowledge or address their needs, we need to offer interventions that decrease deteriorations in health and wellbeing or that prevent deformities (Wagman et al, 2020). But in promoting environmentally sustainable occupational performance and lifestyles’ (Jenkin et al, 2016), we need to work with other stakeholders in the community when designing interventions for the people within our community to provide comprehensive treatment. Takes my take on SDG’s, community-based intervention and occupational therapy, what is yours?

Google (2020).

References

 Bebbington, J., & Unerman, J. (2018). Achieving the United Nations sustainable development goals. Accounting, Auditing & Accountability Journal.

Google (2020). What are sustainable development goals. Accessed from: 

https://www.google.com/search?q=what+is+sustainable+development+goals&sxsrf=ALeKk00-5GCFztGKKt_Dd1sbBkC7-h9Oww:1601058730318&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj_8YnH-ITsAhUqThUIHaGlBjIQ_AUoAXoECBUQAw&biw=1242&bih=597#imgrc=ZUszBwpNscHswM

Google (2020). Feminist quotes. Accessed from: https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F564x%2F83%2F62%2F4d%2F83624d245be2d335dd80384789fd1961.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F271201208796614969%2F&tbnid=sVazvpJF5Hx10M&vet=12ahUKEwi86sD8-YTsAhXE3eAKHTtUCooQMygCegUIARC0AQ..i&docid=A8R4kX0ylhORdM&w=564&h=423&itg=1&q=The%20notorious%20RbG%20quotes%20and%20sustainability&ved=2ahUKEwi86sD8-YTsAhXE3eAKHTtUCooQMygCegUIARC0AQ

Jenkin, K., Sellar, B., Stanley, M., & Thomas, K. (2016). How sustainable development is understood in World Federation of Occupational Therapy policy. British Journal of Occupational Therapy, 79(8), 505-513.

Wagman, P., Johansson, A., Jansson, I., Lygnegård, F., Edström, E., Björklund Carlstedt, A., ... & Fristedt, S. (2020). Making sustainability in occupational therapy visible by relating to the Agenda 2030 goals–A case description of a Swedish university. World Federation of Occupational Therapists Bulletin, 1-8.

World Health Organization. (2015). Health in 2015: from MDGs, millennium development goals to SDGs, sustainable development goals.

[sundeepsingh4949]

Interview Questions:

Target Audience: Any person who takes part in the healthcare system and their health (any age group)

  What do I want to learn from this Interview: What kind of impact this app would have if it were launched in this demographic?

 1.     How old are you?

·       37

·       40

·       40

·       41

·       45

·       47

·       47

·       49

 2.     How are you feeling today?

·       Calm

·       Good

·       I am felling okay today, feeling little overwhelmed.

·       Okay

·       Pretty Good!

·       Tired

·       Great

·       Not too bad

 3.     How do you evaluate your overall health?

·       my overall health is great. I am a full-time nursing student so lots of time is spent sitting and making time for physical activity is often hard. I do eat a well-balanced diet and make sure that I indulge in self-care that is not only good for my inner self but also for my outer self. My health can sometimes take a backseat because being a nursing student often means putting your work first or the care of others, so self-care has been a learning journey for me.

·       I’m a fairly healthy person.

·       Decent

·       By mood

·       Not super good but it’s getting there

·       I’m physically healthy, but not mentally and emotionally healthy. Sometimes I become my own biggest critic.

·       Above average? I eat well, exercise, and get decent sleep.

·       I would say that my health is overall okay, there are some things I need to change like eating more frequently or exercising more

 4.     What changes have you noticed in your health over time?

·       I have noticed better sleeping and eating habits. I also noticed that I schedule more leisure time. I lost a lot of weight (40 lbs.) over the last 3 years and that has changed my overall activity and ability to function exponentially. like I said in the previous question, self-care has become a part of a developed routine over time

·       Getting worse

·       Slightly poor stamina and low energy

·       more anxious

·       Differences in feelings, appearance and appetite

·       I’ve seen my body getting stronger and more physically fit, while training my mind to be happy as well.

·       Harder to wake up, sometimes get random pains, and generally can’t do somethings I used too.

·       I have noticed that my appetite has gotten smaller, and I am eating less which I attributed to the fact that I haven’t been working out for awhile

 5.     Do you currently have a health insurance, and do you feel comfortable sharing your current health information with your doctor or insurance companies? Please Explain.

·       Yes, I have health insurance. I do feel comfortable sharing it... but it’s not accepted by all types of medical locations so finding a good center that takes my insurance can often be a lot of work.

·       Yes, I have health insurance and I feel comfortable sharing my healthy information with my doctor.

·       I do have insurance. I do share some health information with my doctor, but they don’t really take it seriously

·       Yes, I currently have health insurance and I do feel comfortable sharing my health information with my doctor because I’d like to have any health concerns I have addressed.

·       Yes, I am very upfront with my doctors/insurance about issues I may be having because communication is key in order to keep your health in perfect shape.

·       Yes, only due to the fact that I’ve been going to the same place and when I have to change, I feel I might not be as comfortable

·       Yes, since my treatments require specific practitioners in order to receive proper treatment and my insurance only has a limited number of providers under coverage.

·       Yes, I do, and yes, I am. I know how important that information is for me to get a proper diagnosis, as well as the coverage I need for said diagnosis

 6.     Were you able to visit your doctor as usual throughout the pandemic? Please explain your experience.

·       Yes, I was able to. I went in just for my yearly physical exams and blood work, but the process was the same just implemented with covid safety guidelines

·       Yes, I was. I had to wear a mask, do a screening and social distance but everything else was the same as usual.

·       Yes, however, only seldom was I able to visit. I visited maybe once or twice over the course of a year and a half.

·       I didn’t need to go but if needed, yes, I was able to see a doctor during the pandemic.

·       Yes, they had just implemented mask policies along with temperature checks and a survey about symptoms before you step into the building.

·       Thankfully I did not have an issue that required me to meet my physician during the course of the pandemic.

·       Yes, I was able to visit both in person and tele health. The experience was good because I feel like I was getting the care I needed and even in the telehealth visit which was a new experience, it was helpful because the doctor was able to prescribe me antibiotics for a viral infection I had caught

·       Yes, smaller clinic so easier to follow covid rules

 7.     Have you ever been diagnosed with a disease that you may have avoided if caught early? What disease was it? Please explain your experience.

·       No... but I had asthma due to being born 2 months premature which led to my lungs and the amount of surfactant in lungs being underproduced (which is more so a congenital condition) but for about the last 8-10 years I have outgrown my asthma.

·       No, I haven’t.

·       Covid-19 shouldn't have gone out

·       No nothing like that

·       No, I have not

·       No, I have not been diagnosed with a disease.

·       Depression and it could have been avoided by being in a better environment or having family members that noticed the change in behavior and overall lifestyle.

·       No, I have not been diagnosed with a disease that I could have avoided

 8.     What are some of the things that you find difficult to manage on your own in terms of your health?

·       The thing I find hardest to manage is finding time to exercise. Even if I step away 30 minutes to get a workout in, I often feel anxious that I am not studying enough. This is something I would like to implement.

·       I get a bad cough once or twice a year and it didn’t go away no matter what medicine I take

·       Nutrition, and emotional wellness. As a student who’s constantly on the go, it is a hassle to eat something healthy and fulfilling when so many fatty, fried foods are around me. furthermore, I need positive reinforcement and an uplift to get my mind in the right place.

·       Um I guess I would say more sugar level of blood pressure.

·       Managing headaches. I get a decent amount of sleep, but sometimes when I experience headaches, I find it hard to just relax and lie down due to my tendency to stay occupied with a hobby or task.

·       Accurately tracking activity, finding things actually beneficial to health from reliable sources, and remembering to take care of myself

·       Having the proper environment to improve on my health

·       It is difficult to manage healthy eating habits because majority of the time, I feel like I don’t have enough time to make myself a proper meal or meal prep, so I end up buying food outside or barely eating

 9.     Do you have people in your life who can help you cope with health issues and were they able to succeed? How were they able to help?

·       yes. my family, friends, and boyfriend have helped me in overcome insecurities and often just discussing changes and having a gameplan is good.

·       Yes, my parents. Always kept an eye out for any distress I may be in

·       Yes, they would give me tips and check up on if i did the things to get better. i.e.: take my medicine

·       Yes. My friends and family. They were able to offer me verbal and emotional support.

·       I do have people like that. They shared with me their own struggles and ways in which they overcame them.

·       Yes. I have people in my life who can help me cope with health issues.

·       Yes, I’ve never had any serious issues that required their health though.

·       Yes, just by listening and providing the right resources

 10.  What kind of care do you require, and are you receiving it?

·       I require an inhaler and yes

·       Don’t require care right now.

·       My health is in decent condition. The only care that I require is mental health care. I am planning on going back to a therapist soon.

·       I need good sleep and I’m receiving it

·       Mental health care, eye care, medical care, and I am currently receiving them.

·       Monthly care and yes.

·       I do require physical care and mental care and I get these either from my doctor or friends or family

·       General care I assume and yes, I am

 11.  How many types of medication do you take and are they prescribed by your doctor?

·       I take no medications. For my asthma I did take a singular and an asthma pump (Ventolin) but since I outgrew the asthma, I no longer take these medications- they were prescribed

·       Albuterol and montelukast, yes, it is.

·       Just vitamins. Nope

·       Kepra and lamotrigine

·       I take three types of medication and they are all prescribed by my psychiatrist.

·       Not really any

·       3 and yes

·       I take 3 and only one is prescribed the others are OTC vitamins

 12.  Would you prefer if there was a system in place that can monitor your health 24/7?

·       YES – 79.2%

·       NO - 20.8%

[2020laxteentour]

Day One (Arrival)

Today was very eye opening, I expected Los Angeles to be all pretty and filled with expensive things. But today I really saw the up and downsides of Los Angeles. I know everywhere has it’s hard areas, but to see the major differences between and how there so close really made me think. People really spend lots of money on non-essential things when people are really out here with little to nothing. -Bascia P.

Seeing Skid row and Rodeo drive all in one day really gave me insight on how close and far rock bottom is from making it big at the top. Both were two extremes one filled with poverty and struggle and the other filled with excessive luxury both separated by a few miles and quite a few thousand dollars. On a lighter note seeing Trump's star absolutely trashed on the walkway was very enjoyable to see. -Essence H.

Today was very much a lesson and a experience. As an experience we got to go to the beach next to the pier and truly bask in California. We also watched an altercation take place within McDonald’s but that’s neither here nor there. As part of the lesson we were shown first hand the highs and lows of California. Doing this by first going to Skid Row and seeing all of the impoverished homeless people as the low, then making our way later on to Rodeo Drive and seeing all of the expensive things. This really opens up the eyes of people who might not realize that right around the corner from the big city and wealth there’s people living on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. -Bobby H.

I really like UCLA and it is so big. They even have a little town in UCLA. I don't like how they have a whole street for homeless people. I really like the beach but there was a lot of people without masks. I went to the Hollywood Walk of Fame with the stars and I saw a lot of famous people. -Jamil B.

Today was a reminder to slow down and appreciate the world and people around me. Sometimes I can be encumbered with stress and I forget how magnificent it is to be alive. Today, those anxieties came crashing down like the waves of the Pacific as I indulged myself in the warm breeze and gentle glow of the sun as it slowly settled beneath the horizon. I'm grateful for today and the people who made it possible for me to enjoy it. - Giovan B.

We began the service learning tour on Skid Row, I am aware of the homeless community in my area but not to this magnitude. The homeless tents are camped along the busy streets of downtown. Then to drive shorty over to ‘Bel Air’ Hollywood. By the way, thank you Kristen for the wonderful tour of UCLA.  We walked down Rodeo Drive to see all the glitz and famous name. The people I encountered today are not only homeless but mentally ill.  There is so much more I can do for the homeless when returning to my community. -Pamela G.

The first day in Los Angeles was interesting and eye opening. Starting off at Skid Road made me appreciate the things that I have and opportunities that I receive. It was also interesting because that’s the part of California that they don’t show on TV and I didn’t expect that many homeless people to be in one area. On tv Los Angeles has the perception of being rich, upperclass, and perfect which is not the case. -Jordan B.

Starting of the day by flying into the well known LAX. As soon as I stepped out the baggage claim I saw the vibrant sky’s of LA filled with palm trees and people. Before coming I thought I would see luxurious communities and places that screamed money, but it was the opposite. Our first official stop was a hidden community of homeless people hidden behind the beauty of downtown. It showcased how even though California is one of the richest states in the U.S it still has one of the highest poverty rates. We then went to UCLA and learned a lot about the transition to college as a minority and some of the programs that UCLA had to support some of its less fortunate students. We wrapped up the day by going to famous landmarks of LA like Rodeo Drive, Santa Monica, and The Hollywood Walk of Fame! -Marcus R.

Today was an eye opening experience. My heart broke for the people we saw on Skid row. I mean, from the tents to the blankets working as insulation and there was even wheel chairs parked outside their campsites. The way they maneuvered, was as if that setting was actually normal. Well, I’m sure to them that is. I did notice, the sense of community though, they looked out for each other. What I gathered from today’s experience, while walking amongst Rodeo drive, the price tag of many of those items, Dior, Goyard or Gucci to name a few could put those on Skid row in a better position. Whether it’s rehab, program for housing, mental health assistance or a simple makeover to boost their self esteem. Ultimately, the “HIGHS” mean Nothing, long as you’re leaving “OTHERS” sitting “LOW”. Thanks a Bunch. -Toquetta C.

Flying into LAX I was super excited. Being it’s my first time to L.A. I’m looking forward to learning a lot. After we left the airport we were able to visit a Los Angeles staple, Randy’s Donut. Along side visiting Randy’s Donuts we were also able to eat at In-N-Out burger which was a much wanted visit for me. As we continued into our day I enjoyed being able to walk Skid Row and see poverty and manipulation of drugs in its purest form. Seeing versus hearing is a huge impact on me because the visual is what makes it stick and in stowed in me that I want to make something out of myself in order to make sure I don’t end up in a situation like that. After going to Skid Row and seeing the beautiful UCLA campus I enjoyed being able to watch the sun set at the Santa Monica Pier. As we ended our day on the Hollywood Walk of Fame I seen some of the amazing Black celebrities stars that have paved the way in the industry of entertainment. Today I can say was a great way to start off my journey in exploring Los Angeles and learning about the state of California and i look forward to learning so much more. -Roderick T.

The first day is always the best. We may be all fighting fatigue-- if not from our travels, then definitely from everything we managed to accomplish. We managed to encompass both polarities of the city, noticing just how close the highly affluent and poorly disadvantaged sit in relation to each other. It's striking to think that one could at one moment be in one of LA's economic epicenters, then only blocks away encounter homelessness, addiction, mental illness, and perhaps many other unfortunate things. For a first day introduction we covered a lot. -Malachi W.

Fully loaded Day 1, I am so glad we started from the poorest areas (Skid road) to some of the richest areas (Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Hollywood). It shows the great in inequality and really shows that for LA to be so rich, it has such a high homelessness population. Walking the beach, getting the clean air in was such a treat too, love seeing so many people from different backgrounds. I expected to see diversity and I did today, from the different areas and of course the different foods offered. I am looking forward to more adventures tomorrow. -Rania A.

Being grateful is a very valuable character trait which should be administered throughout life for as long as you are able to live. Today as we traveled through Los Angeles and we were strolling down one of the main strips, I would get my first look at "skid row" a very heartbreaking view to see. So many potential lives lost due to choices made all I could do was say a prayer. Meanwhile on the other side of town not too far the view was a whole 180, from the nice cars to the better view of the community, even the streets itself were cleaner. Arriving at UCLA was inspiring, considering that was my first time ever being on the campus and who better to give a tour of the campus, Ms. Kristen. Hearing the his-story of how Black Panthers members were killed there and the only way they paid homage to them was to place their names on a stone, speaks so much volume especially during these revolving times were currently in. The stroll down Hollywood Blvd would be new as well to me but its nothing of the fictional sight we see in movies or on tv, there are a lot of changes needed in this country we call The United States of America. I just pray I'm here to witness and also be apart of the change I would love to see. Equality for all!!! -Tia J.

This year’s tour started with a zoom orientation.  Different but needed due to safety precautions.  Very informative and helpful. Topics included mental health and COVID- 19. In this land of great opulence, it’s humbling to see and walk through the real Skid Row. I didn’t take many pictures, because regardless of their station in life, these people still deserve respect. As Dr. Mike said, “ We must lift as we climb”. Starting our trip with a tour through Skid Row was absolutely necessary.  -TeShania B.

I am glad that I was able to give a campus tour of UCLA and talk about my experience as an undergraduate student. I am delighted that everyone enjoyed the campus tour. I personally had not been to Beverly Hills & Rodeo Drive before today simply because I had not gotten around to it. I have not seen Skid Row in person yet, but the area has been of much discussion in my recent classes. Los Angeles is a very diverse and vibrant city that is full of richness and culture. Even though I study other parts of the world, I can easily see the existing inequalities within Los Angeles itself. Skid Row is a great example of when extreme wealth collides with the poor. Even the geography and architecture is different. I think the main question then becomes: How can Skid Row and its peoples standard of living improve without gentrifying it, further displacing the homeless or the residents? It was great seeing familiar faces again as well as meeting new people! -Kristen L.

"This. Is. America." That statement was made by Dr. Weaver today while visiting Skid row. I have seen pictures and even seen clips on television about this place, but to see the eyes of the people, feel the emotions of the environment, and smell the air of the area was very surreal. I seen the hopelessness, the dreams that were lost, the consequences of mistakes, but through all of the misfortune I still seen community, I seen people living side by side and being amongst "family". From Skid row to UCLA from lost dreams to endless opportunities I seen the parallel of two worlds and it left me in a state of wonder on how the world can suck life out of you, but also how if you do the work and apply yourself how the world can be so fulfilling. I really took in and digested everything that I seen today and prayerfully it helps to continue to shape my perspectives on life in such a way that allows me to grow and have grace for others. -Patrice C.

I enjoyed the flight and the little tour that you gave us. It was exciting to see how these people live on the other side of the country. Also the Nipsey Hustle memorial was exciting to look at knowing he was a great and intelligent man. And the people up here respect him and his death. I just got used to the time zone because I didn’t know if I wanted to go to sleep last night or stay up. -Bobby H.

SECOND VISIT--AUGUST 21ST-23RD

It was nice getting to meet up with everyone on the UCLA campus. Even though I’ve been down in the dumps lately, today I was able to relax and enjoy everyone’s company. The Santa Monica Pier/3rd Street Promenade and Rodeo Drive are almost complete opposites of each other. The pier is calming, cool, peaceful and full of lively people while Rodeo Drive has an awkward silence that can only be filled by the rich and privileged. -Kristen L. (PART II)

Today was a busy and eventful day. Walking the streets of L.A. was exactly what I expected. Just being able to take the sights in was an experience in itself. From the many famous sights and buildings, to the landmarks and restaurants, L.A. has been more than just a trip. It was been an experience!  -Javon B. (PART II)

Today as we traveled between Inglewood and Beverly Hills, I noticed how deep the wealth disparity in America is. This was very similar to my hometown of Atlanta but it was still shocking to see. I was also surprised at the big homeless population down by the Santa Monica Pier. While I know homelessness is a large issue in the US, I didn't expect to see it all so close to a heavily tourist traveled destination. It was also interesting to see all of the houses in the hills around Hollywood and to hypothesize how high the insurance might be for those people. Overall it was just cool to see the difference between real world LA and tv/movie LA. -Kasamba A. (PART II)

Today’s experience was a sight full ...a great experience for my first time in LA. Everything is so busy & fast paced but absolutely beautiful. I expected the people to be kind of pushy due to the high volume of tourists but they are actually friendly, which is such a relief for someone who’s used to southern hospitality. Being able to tour UCLA was definitely my favorite part of the day. Learning about the historical aspects concerning blacks & how there is little recognition on the campus was different being that I attended an HBCU. It’s good but also sad to know that the racial injustice & protesters that are happening all around the world today are what’s making major universities & cities rethink some of the historical things on their campus. Santa Monica was another favorite, simply because of how absolutely beautiful it was lit up at night. I look forward to the events for tomorrow with being able to give back in some way in another community other than my own. -Markesia B. (PART II)

Different. It was all different from the moment I stepped off the plane the vibe and the energy of the people in the airport and the local eatery was different but I loved it. I also enjoyed bonding and getting to know the young ladies in my room and hearing some of their backgrounds. Beverly Hills is famous for being famous and also presenting the fairytale lifestyle we see on tv. The reality is it doesn’t show the opposite side. The cast out & less fortunate standing next to a Lamborghini being ignored asking for food or saying “anything would help”.  What separates us? Why is the separation so comfortable for us to not make a change? I pray one day we will be a able to come together and help those who are a little more unfortunate than we are in the areas of job placement, mental health and also financial stability. Stepping on the campus of UCLA and hearing about all the history and monumental events that took place on their campus was an eye opener. So many of those events never hit the history books but they are ones that are worth talking about especially in our society today. This trip so far has shown me to always be thankful and to give back every chance I get. -Sierra W. (PART II)

So far my experience of learning Los Angeles has been wonderful!  This is my longest flight in the books now.  A lot of sight seeing from my plane view before I landed.  I’ve tried new restaurants also learned about different events that took place at UCLA.  I had no clue Martin Luther king had a small speech there.  Learning the background and history of each area we visited today makes me want to go back and learn a little more... I’m ready for Day 2, to learn the other areas and it’s history as well! -Joy F. (PART II)

Today was my first day experiencing LA and I must say the day was very memorable and impactful. Our first stop was UCLA! The UCLA tour was very informative. I learned that this institution was a Land Grant Institution, just like my HBCU Fort Valley State University.  I like how the institution is taking initiative to rename a building after renowned African American leaders. I wished that it didn’t take the current state of the world to do so. What also interested me about LA was the vast amount of tree species that they have. For some odd reason I didn’t think this city would have so much greenery, it was truly amazing. I also had the opportunity to visit Santa Monica pier and the beach.  I didn’t realize how difficult it could be walking in sand, it was a really hard task for me, this made me think about the health of the people in LA and how strong they truly are because that was a workout with in itself. I truly enjoyed my first day in LA. -Sha’Bria J. (PART II)

Wow! My experience here in California has been great so far! I am heavily astounded by the architecture of the buildings here! The vibe of the LA streets was everything I expected and more! The food choice here in LA is spectacular. Los Angeles has a wide range of food variety in Italian, Mexican, Korean and Japanese. The traffic wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. I’m glad we were able to get to a lot of different locations in a decent amount of time. Out of all the places I’ve been to today the Pier really stuck out to me the most. I loved the foggy view from the pier with the mountains in the horizon. That was an extremely nice view to me and I connected with that the most. I am a huge fan of nature! I expect to see even more great landmarks of LA and I can’t wait to visit  them! -DeMarcus D. (PART II)

I arrived at LAX at about 12:15 pm it’s humid but there is a breeze. Not knowing what to really expect from this trip but I knew that LA was going to be good time. After getting settled into the hotel the nonstop adventure began. I’ve been to LA a few times but Never really dedicated a whole day to site seeing and going to most of the major attractions including UCLA. UCLA has never been on my list of places to go but I’m glad I was able experience walking on the campus that I always see on movies. LA doesn’t seem any different than Atlanta, traffic is the same the people are friendly. The only differences that I saw were the way the houses are built some even built into the hillsides, oh and of course palm trees. Today’s adventure was great and can’t want to see what tomorrow has in store. -Alicia C. (PART II)

First things first. Los Angeles has always been on my bucket list for American cities to visit. Being a native New Yorker I felt as if I was right at home as I began to explore the streets of L A.

Los Angeles is a mix between a New York minute and Florida weather without the humidity. It’s hustle and bustle, aggressive  driving and bumper-to-bumper traffic along with the stressful pedestrian crowds all fade away as you drive off into the luxurious soothing mountainous views of the Hollywood hills of Los Angeles observing the scenic landscape around the renowned Hollywood sign. Los Angeles is a melting pot for various cuisines from around the world. Choose any restaurant and you’re in for a delicious meal that’s well worth the price tag.  That California culture just pops out at you as you experience hippie like culture, millennial skateboard brats, multi-culture model type women, conservative preppy trust fund babies and the many facets of Afro and Latino ethnicities. There happens to be an overload of homelessness in the city which was surprisingly overwhelming; for I have never seen homeless people in multitudes in any city I’ve ever visited, but this I just is what it is... The trip is awesome and I’d absolutely revisit plenty of times for it was very exciting as well as relaxing. -Dameon C. (PART II)

THIRD VISIT--DECEMBER 27TH-29TH

Although I’ve never traveled to L.A. I gathered what to expect from photos & film. There’s the glitz and glamor of Hollywood, but there’s also laid back coastal cities, scenic mountains, and multiple beaches. So far I’ve visited iconic locations, such as the infamous Randy’s Donuts which has appeared in several movie sets and Nipsey Hussle’s clothing store, The Marathon, where he was tragically gunned down. Visiting Oceanside City reminded me of Jacksonville, FL with the towering palm trees, colorful beach homes, and surfing scene. I continue to notice the diverse communities of California which I’ve indulged in with street tacos and tajin fruit salads. I’m looking forward to what tomorrow will offer. -Shauna J. (Part III)

Today’s trip to San Diego from Los Angeles was a trip to remember. We started at the Courtyard hotel then boarded the minivan. Along the way to San Diego we stopped at Oceanside and got some food which was really good. What I ordered was hush puppies, I wasn’t really hungry since I had a big breakfast. When we got to San Diego we walked the entire boardwalk at the pier. On the way back we stopped at an outlet, shopped around and got some food, and finally made our way back home. -Qadir C. (Part III)

Today’s venture to San Diego actually was nice and relaxing. We made two stops before San Diego. One at a scenic rest stop over looking the beautiful massive Pacific Ocean and the other in a beach front town called Oceanside. There was a pier almost 8 stories tall and half a mile out to sea that was spectacular. People were actually surfing in the 60 degree weather and the ocean was a rich green-bluish color. The main stop in San Diego was a real Marvel as I enjoyed the view of the retired naval ships that were docked and turned into museums. As we headed back to Los Angeles we stopped to Window shop at an outlet mall then ended the evening off with some delicious seafood. I had an excellent time. -Dameon C. (Part III)

I am very excited to return to California for the second time. The Christmas decorations here are beautiful. I was so looking forward to a doughnut from Randy’s.  I wish I was closer to the lovely beaches of San Diego.  Today I also listening to the discussion of the making of the pyramids very interested. Today  I had a nice lunch and dinner with the entire group which is different. I am so looking forward to the volunteering project to help to give back to the community. -Pamela G. (Part III)