#looking at you fujieda

[tecchan]

Mitsugi squatting everywhere is the only highlight of this damn game

[michi-chelle]

if i had a nickel for every time a yaoi visual novel featured a hot stoic standoffish megane with black hair looking for a lost sister taken by a fucked-up organization that indulges fucked-up fetishes, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice

[theroseiswithoutawherefor]

                                                                         Box

So...As I said before, this is the big project three of my friends(X @MAGIMARU @__olddoll @Pan991106) and I were busy with! DIR EN GREY MONOPOLY 2024.

Basically, it’s a game that took us about 6 months to complete and recorded the whole year of Diru. Actually none of us had done such a thing before or foreseen the process to be so exhausting. But yeah, we made it and gave it to every member in Osaka!!

An overall look of the game first

Map

                                                            Cards type1<named special events>

                                                Cards type2<named normal cards>

Cards type3<named magic world>

【MAP】

As shown, the map starts from 正月(January) and club citta, which was the venue of My Bloody Vampire, the very first show of Diru in 2024. Followed by Europe tour, Psychonnect, Androgynos and Who Is This Hell For, each space is named after the exact venue.

【RULES】

Concerned over language barriers, we tried to keep everything clear and simple, especially the rules.

Like normal monopoly, getting your money from the bank, collecting your token, rolling the dice, buying/selling properties(venues) and taking actions based on the space you end up on. That’s it!

Money(ordered by members’ ages and decorated by their signatures we received in 2024)

(btw the currency is called TRK, short for toriko虜)

Game manual

                                                                         Tokens

There are four kinds of spaces:

property space

When you are on a property space, you can choose to buy it and charge the rent.

chance space 1 for Cards type1<特別事件 special events>

chance space 2 for Cards type 2<普通事件 normal cards>

chance space 3 for Cards type 3<魔法世界magic world >

When you land on a chance space, you need to draw a card and follow the instructions. You may even get powerful tools there!

it’s even simpler than normal monopoly I feel haha

Types of cards

                                                               

【特別事件 special events】

This kind took me most of the time(I did almost all the drawings and design except for a very few cards and the tokens), so I will begin with it.

Like what I indicated before, you can draw a special event card when you land on a corresponding space. Each player/member can find their own special cards originated from their experiences in 2024.

*actually each one of them has 10 cards respectively, but technically it’s impossible to explain all of them, so I’m sorry to leave out some.

【Kyo’s part】

I finished kyo’s part first! From left to right, it indicates:

-kyo mentioned it was rly nice to have Arukuma at the venue and he wanted to see Kyoto’s mascot too, so I kinda joked about it

-the very famous HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL LOL

-kyo said it in a sukekiyo’s live around July, dont call me kyo or any name, say sukekiyo様(lord sukekiyo) instead and if you wanna happiness, buy a pot from me!(it was refering to a piece of cult news I guess)

-the sticker of his early age was sold out and Kyo hated it!!

-kyo mentioned he had Unadon three days in a row back in Nagoya, although it was him who wanted to eat Unadon the first

-he forgot his suitcase which was full of his personal clothing and shocked to see Poland was snowing when he woke up in Europe

-Kyo’s birthday live

-his instore, and he did a lot of cute doodles

【shinya’s part】

-all the members took photos of shinya’s legs and he was kinda embrassed about it lol

-he really likes sea otter!

-he was kinda robbed by a deer in Nara

-In order to film his youtube video, Shinya arrived at the venue 2 hours earlier but Toshiya surprisingly arrived earlier too!! Unsurprisingly Toshiya laughed at him, took a pircture, posted it on instagram and our poor Fujieda manager was being told off by shinya imao

-shinya passed漢字能力検定(a difficult language test of Japanese kanji)and received a certificate

-shinya posted a pic of sea otter as a reponse to kyo’s tweet saying his legs look great lol

-shinya collected all the mangazines of their vkei time and filmed a video

-his birthday event

-shinya was kinda obsessed with a Tiktok drama(he accidentally spotted the ad on instagram) and poured money into it.

【Die’s part】

-a collage of Die’s hometown Ise, Mie(all of us went to the show at Ise)

-he gave a MC there. It was rly touching

-he drank a lot of beer in Europe and treated Kaoru too(according to Thetheday)

-his birthday event

-he had his hair maintainance during the summer and it looked amazing(he posted it on Die’s mobile)

-his instore

-his 2nd instore(oh it must be tiring)

-his favorite baseball team 巨人（Yomiuri Giants） won the national champion of 2024 after beating Kaoru’s favorite team 阪神（Hanshin Tigers）

【Toshiya’s part】

-it’s also a joke related to Kyo’s card(the one of mascots) and Arukuma

-his photobook was published!! Congrats!

-his instore

-he streamed a cooking competition with Fujieda in the summer(the room was rly hot without AC)

-Toshiya celebrated his birthday in Berlin!(so I drew a little national flag on the plate and used sausages to decorate haha)

-he and Kaoru had a stream for Androgynos. They looked fine on the screen but they both admitted the chairs were so hard that their asses were hurt lol

【Kaoru’s part】

-Kaoru streamed with other TTT members to celebrate Boo’s birthday and drank a lot

-He misspelled his own name on TFOE(he also made a mistake on his birthday poster 長野虎之穴 and he corrected it by posting 野～～～！ On X)

-he had a holiday in Naha after Psychonnect (according to TTD)

-his birthday event(he designed several stamps to collect at the venue and I used the same layout when drawing it)

-A mini repo about how I got his pick in Nagoya

-the last episode of TFOE. He sang a song, ate shrimps and said byebye.

-Androgynos stream with Toshiya

-his instore. He doodled a lot and they kinda reminded me of Godzilla

-巨人 vs 阪神

【普通事件 normal cards】

-2024 was their 25th anniversary and we want to have another 25 years of Diru(so I drew 5 older them haha)

-1990120 was released

-Kyo was not rly happy with western food

-Kyo got mad on the stage

-Unext stream

-My bloody vampire caught the attention of local press bc fans covered with blood flocked to the street lol

-White Day

-the devil in me was released

-the stickers of Yokan were sold out! Congrats

-Dir en grey live film was out!

【魔法世界magic world】

Here comes my favorite kind! It was so enjoyable to draw. I guess it only took me around 2 or 3 days in total.

Bc it’s called magic world, it’s all about their babies(Idk how others call these cute little creatures, I just love to them their babies lol) and their pets. All the stories are around these non-human sweeties, while the only exception is the one on the right corner of the 1st row. The card is called Time machine, so I imitated kaoru’s self-portraits on his picks, indicating that this card can transfer current him to his younger time.

It’s a terrible pun i know lol

【summary】

Yeah that’s all!! Although it’s rly difficult to give a detailed introduction, we just finished it!! It rly took me so much time and energy, actually I was still working on it right before I flew to Sapporo mid November. I hope the members like the gift. And most importantly, I hope every diru fan enjoyed their 2024 and continuously enjoy Diru in the next coming years.

btw if anyone is curious about the workload, this is the screenshot↓

[carnalconcinnity]

I relate to and feel represented by Towa heavily in that he exhibits Schizoid Personality Disorder unlike any character I've seen before. It was in my head for a while but I couldn't get a hold of Slow Damage to find the evidence for it myself until now, I sort of just used to look at Towa, squint my eyes and mouth the words 'I'm onto you'.

This will be a long, indulgent post, I have not finished said game and will probably update when I do especially after Madarame and Fujieda's route. This is based on patterns I've seen so far in the game as well as some spoilers I came across. Read at your own... something or other.

SzPD's main characteristic is the lack of interest or ability to form relationships. Towa is on the side of a lack of interest rather than ability. One way I see SzPD in him is socially, he's indifferent and blunt or when he makes an attempt to spare feelings he's evasive, he maintains this distance with everyone around him. He doesn't chase after romance; sex and pain are stimuli that allow him to feel something beyond crippling apathy. It doesn't stop there though.

When he wants to, Towa knows how to adapt, negotiate and manipulate others. This can often come as second nature to many with SzPD, not out of malicious intent but through a way to protect themselves by setting the relationships they do make on their own terms. He interchanges between inarticulateness and eloquence according to Akhtar's Profile, selectively choosing what he gives away and what he keeps to himself.

Finally, Towa's art model in the moment, whoever it may be, can easily be considered his 'interest person'. Again referring to Akhtar's profile, those with SzPD can be capable of excitement with carefully selected people and likewise they tend to have a penchant towards typically darker and unconventional things as a form of coping. Combine those two and you have Towa's heightened interest in the selected few when he unravels their darkest desires.

A second way I see SzPD is through his feelings of unreality, schizoids tend to be seen as 'detached observers', there's a lack of motivation or drive beyond the few things they want to do. Towa doesn't hold any long-term ambitions and has no real sense of urgency over anything, he's often dragged outside by others around him or if he bar-hops and searches for hookups. He also holds a sense of grandiosity towards his indifferent observation, the line that stuck out to me the most was when he said to himself, 'All the more proof that life was easier when you didn't care about anything.' A view you will often see from Schizoids time and time again in response to other people's emotionally charged issues.

Towa sometimes dehumanizes himself, describing himself as a 'single minded robot' when painting, playing a role when granting his art model's wish like he did for Asakura or by referring to 'Human Beings' as though he isn't one of them. Obviously as a child Towa was horrifically abused and treated like a 'thing' instead of a person and a result of that he has a weak sense of self, he has a tendency to cave in around more dominant personalities. This can be another thing that goes hand in hand with SzPD, entering into a 'Master/Slave' type dynamic in social relationships (SchizoidVision has a post on this concept, here) As I've explored, Towa has the faculties to play the 'master' in these dynamics like with his art models but he takes a 'slave' role with the main leads that hold the potential to lead into even worse dehumanization in the bad endings.

Thirdly, a way I see Schizoid in him is through his emotions plain and simple, he hardly expresses strong emotions or reactions to anything and everyone sees him similarly, that he's aloof or uncaring. It shows even more in how he doesn't care for social validation, praise or criticism does virtually nothing. He sometimes feels accomplishment for finding his inspiration to paint but Rei ends up being the one posting it on Roost's blog. He isn't dependent on other people's opinions whatsoever. A huge part of SzPD traits.

Finally, the use of his internal fantasy and how it obsessively consumes his time. When he begins painting he becomes utterly immersed to the point he neglects food or sleep, you can't snap him out of it forget any sort of practical responsibilities. This reflects in SzPD in how daydreams tend to consume a lot of schizoid's lives, often preferring it over reality. It can interfere heavily with day to day tasks, I can say there's multiple times I haven't left my room, eaten or slept over a period of time when I get an urge to create something or lose myself in my own head.

Overall, there's so many boxes he ticks so far it's as if he's become the box himself. I connect with him a lot for these reasons and he can easily be considered a major comfort character and face for my page, plus somehow I find the time and dedication to write this essay when I have my abandoned assignments just begging me to make a start on them. (I won't until I feel like it.)

[piquerisme]

Slow Damage analysis!! PART 1. (TW FOR SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!)

I first played Slow Damage in October 2024, and ever since it has become one of my favorite games. In this post, I will be going over the characters and my own personal thoughts revolving around them. There will be lots of spoilers so if you have not played the game yet, feel free to skip this post!

TAKASHI IKUINA: How can traumatic childhood events create unconventional preferences?

Chapter one of Slow damage is an amazing opening to the game in my opinion. The chapter primarily revolves around Towa and Takashi Ikuina. Ikuina has got to be my favorite character from Slow Damage, which is why I will be starting with him first. In chapter one, Towa finds himself taking an interest in an artist named “Fraise.” Fraise’s piece that catches Towa’s eye appears to be a photograph of a wound. Later in this chapter, during a night out of drinking, Towa awakens to find himself in an unfamiliar apartment. The apartment is covered in plants from head to toe, and he finds that he has a bandage on his arm. When uncovering the bandage, Towa finds a wound. Throughout this chapter, there are multiple instances where flowers are being sent to the clinic. The flowers have no card stating who it's from, and it appears that someone has a secret admirer. This leads Towa to visit the flower shop listed on the receipt, and here we first meet Ikuina. The conversation is very brief, however there seems to be something deeper going on with the timid flower shop clerk. Later, Towa returns back to the clinic and finds more flowers being delivered. However this time Ikuina is the one delivering them. He questions him some more, but none are fully answered. Later that night, He runs into Ikuina again at Roost. Here it is revealed that Ikuina is actually “Fraise”. Ikuina seems almost entranced by the scars that adorn Towa's hand. The two speak for some time and exchange numbers, and that is the end of their conversation. This is not the last we see of Ikuina though. Towa is able to put together that the person who had been delivering these flowers and the person who is sending them are in fact the same. With this information he decides to confront Ikuina. Upon confrontation we can see that Ikuina is looking rather down. The once happy looking man, now has bags underneath his eyes and is sporting bandages of his own. It is clear that Ikuina’s mental state had come to a fast decline, and Towa decides to paint him after all. In the final parts of this chapter we discover that Ikuina's deepest darkest desire is seeing what lies beneath human flesh. Ikuina is one of the most interesting characters to me, despite his short amount of screen time. In Fujieda's route, it gets revealed that Ikuina and Towa are far more connected than we originally believed. While he only mentions it briefly in chapter one, we later find out that his father shared the same grotesque passion as him, and actually took him to Euphoria as a child. This is where Ikuina's father forced Ikuina to enact his desires on a younger Towa. This event is what later caused Ikuina to form that same passion for lacerations and seeing what lies beneath human flesh. Many researchers have theories that these often strange desires and interests may be linked to childhood trauma. As many already know, childhood trauma can have long-lasting effects on various aspects in a person's life. This can be seen with not only Towa, but Ikuina as well. Childhood trauma can also influence one's sexual preferences, this can include the development of specific kinks or fetishes. With Ikuina we can see a direct link between what happened with his father during his childhood and his obsession with scars. Due to cutting someone multiple times, and the amount of blood he saw gush from the wounds he inflicted, it later helped give way to his obsession with cutting up people as an adult. While Ikuina knows what he is doing is wrong, he feels no guilt for harming others. If it weren't for Towa, Ikuina would have eventually snapped and killed someone. I personally wish we got an entire route dedicated to Ikuina because there are many common themes between him and Towa. It would have been interesting to see them either work through these metaphorical scars and overcome what happened to them in their childhood. Or to see them fall into a deeper pit of depravity.

[argumentl]

I met Shinya at the in-store event in Kyoto!

Yes, ok, part of me is gutted it wasn't Kaoru 😜, but it was still so enjoyable.

As no-one knew which member would be there in advance, there was a real excitement in the room where everyone was lining up.

I picked up my copy of TDIM first (I can listen to it/watch it now at last!), and I got a mini clear Kyo file, picked at random.

When it came to my turn to see Shinya, surprisingly, I wasn't at all nervous. I walked into the booth, and saw Takabayashi and Fujieda stood either side of Shinya who was smilIng, sitting at the desk.

I said good evening to Shinya, and asked for his autograph on the cover of the cd box. He drew a cute cat sign, as you can see in the pic. I let him finish writing, and then I told him in the most enthusiastic way I could that I'm going to listen to the new song for the first time tonight (because I haven't heard it yet), and he looked up at me shocked and said 'Oh!' Then I thanked him, and was on my way. There was a looot of people waiting after me, and with the managers inspecting every interaction it was kind of intimidating, so I didn't want to take too much of his time. But a got an 'Oh!' from him at least 😂

But I'm actually so happy I was able to speak some actual words in person to one of the members. I've been a fan for over 20 years and this is the first face to face interaction I've had with any of them! (Yes, I'm making up for that on TTD, I know!)

Looking forward to the live in Kyoto next! I got a shimote seat!!😁

[nitrochiralfan]

The Visual Symbolism of the True Route: Mirror symbolism

There's a lot of visual symbolism in the true route but one of the prominent symbols that stands out the most is the use of mirrors. It was talked about before in a post on Tumblr by someone but here I wanted to elaborate on it 

This post will primarily focus on the original Japanese version of the game, not the Jast localization. Since it did the game dirty I wanted to go over the true context by looking at the Japanese version.

This post will cover the true route to those who haven’t played the game; a spoiler warning is now in effect.

Mirror 

First, before we begin I want to talk about Mirrors in general and how they are used. The main purpose of mirrors is to show your appearance.

In a fictional sense, the mirror is used as a literary device to show your true self, mirrors show the reflection of ourselves and reflect our flaws and imperfections, the worst parts of ourselves we don’t like to look at. the mirror can reflect all the terrible aspects we don’t like about ourselves. 

Literature uses this to highlight the similarities in characters which is used to reflect the theme “Equals” in Towa and Fujieda.

Towa and Maya

Going over mirror symbolism in the route the first ones to discuss are Towa and Maya.

Without a doubt Towa looks exactly like his mother, Towa got most of his appearance from Maya he's the spitting image of his mother many characters point out the resemblance and their claims are not unfounded if you put Towa and Maya together it's like looking at a mirror but it is not limited by their appearances. 

Maya runs a store called Euphoria, the name that Towa would later take to use as his artist name. The store is a cabinet club for the wealthy but in reality, it is an establishment meant to fulfill the most twisted desires of man this is similar to what Towa does in his euphoria art sessions. 

There is a scene in the opening song of Slow Damage when Towa smiles, when you compare the smile that Towa gives it resembles the one that Maya gave, Towa's smile looks like Maya when she was smiling. This is made to point out how much Maya influences Towa’s actions which is seen in the game.

When Towa’s resemblance to Maya in the Fujieda route is pointed out Towa shatters the mirror in his room because he is disgusted that he looks like the monster who ruined his life he attempts to hurt himself to scar his face to further reduce the resemblance it shows just how much this Towa fears Maya once he begins to remember her. Towa is afraid and hates his mother even hates the idea of inheriting her appearance because it is associated with his abuser. Towa sees himself as a copy of Maya not only because of his appearance but how his euphoria art sessions are similar to what Maya did.

The CG where Towa impersonates Maya to trick Sakaki mirrors that scene of Towa standing in front of the mirror even the position Towa in the CG is similar to the CG of Towa standing in front of the mirror. This points out that all along Sakaki only ever saw Maya in Towa, not himself this led to him being fooled and to his death.

Towa is viewed as a mirror to Maya by certain people including Maya herself no matter how much Maya can claim she loves her son the truth is Maya views Towa as a version of herself instead of his person she treats Towa as a doll, a toy, not a person that she molds and uses like clay, and is angry that he didn’t conform to her image.  

Towa breaking the mirror is a metaphor and a foreshadowing of Towa tricking Sakaki and remaining himself in the good ending and that Towa isn’t Maya but himself. They may resemble each other as mother and son but Maya and Towa themselves are not similar which would get to our next part 

Towa and Fujieda

I pointed out in a post that when you put both Towa and Fujieda together they reflect each other like a mirror. Their appearances serve as parallels reflecting off each other like a mirror. 

Writing-wise they are similar to each other there are many parallels between Towa and Fujeida both had been abused by their parents resulting in the scars on their bodies, Fujieda's scars came from the abuse he received from his parents, and Towa's scars are made by his customers through his mother's euphoria sessions the abuse caused them to led them to lives of sexual debauchery as a result. Both of them hate their parents and cut off anything that is associated with them.

They both carry scars metaphorically and literally, a metaphor that they have the same pain and trauma. 

There was something about the way Fujieda is first introduced to Towa in the game through the routes; his appearances mirror Towa’s state in the routes a post pointed this out before. Fujieda being an enigmatic person in the game to Towa and the audience is parallel to how Towa's past is a mystery to the audience.

There is the visual symbolism of the CGS in the route to analyze, this is seen in the placement of the characters Towa and Fujieda in the CG, in the route has them facing each other like standing in front of a mirror correlating to the mirror symbolism. 

For the significance of those CGs:

This happened when both Fujieda and Towa escaped from being shot by the yakuza as they fled from the Takasato group away from the rain Towa and Fujieda fled to his condo and they went into his apartment and changed clothes Fujieda was apprehensive about changing in front of Towa than Towa provokes him in a childish rage Fujieda undresses than after what Towa saw catches him off guard Fujieda had scars littered across his upper torso mirrors how Towa own body appeared. it is the moment when Towa realizes that maybe they aren't so different This scene shows that Fujieda has more than meets the eye

There is visual symbolism sprinkled throughout this CG,

It shows us Fujieda’s back with his entire torso littered with scars Fujieda has his back turned only focusing on Towa’s reactions, it doesn’t show Fujieda's face primarily only focusing on Towa’s expressions. The placement in the CG is both characters facing each other. Both Towa and Fujieda are half naked with scared bodies much like looking at the mirror. 

In another scene in the game when Fujieda attacks Towa, Fujieda overcome with sorrow after learning the truth, lashes out at Towa believing that Towa is just as culpable as Maya he is furious that he had no idea that Towa’s a victim of Maya despite Towa being her son. Fujieda is finding a tangible way of getting revenge for Mei. This mirrors how Towa attacked Fujieda in their first meeting in the playground when he is overcome with his PTSD symptoms from remembering the past.

After they visited the ruins of euphoria the trip to the store changed their mindsets leading to this cg the next cg balances hope and despair. 

Here Towa is draped in despair after he recovers his memories from the ruins of euphoria he sees no reason to live anymore the pain of what happened to him destroys him from learning the truth about his past He is overcome with survivor's guilt and despair and felt his life isn’t worth living any longer when an innocent life like Mei’s died for his sake. 

While Fujieda stands in hope.

Fujieda talks down Towa from a suicide attempt he doesn’t say simple platitudes about how life will get better or that Towa has so much to live for he acknowledges the pain this information causes him. But Towa’s life is still valuable just as Mei's life was valuable. this is coming from a personal place about Fujieda, Fujieda dealt with suicidal thoughts and hopes to die once his mission to find Mei's fate is complete he didn’t start the route with the confidence to live despite the pain.

Fujieda went through the same thing Towa went through at the beginning of the route. Fujieda is the only person who understands Towa at that moment. visual representation of this during the suicide confrontation reflects off of each other Fujieda is Towa in this scene this further emphasizes that Fujieda is Towa's mirror After their visit Fujieda realizes that Towa was just as hurt as he was and seems to regret his actions he now knows that Towa is a victim of abuse. Towa’s pain is acknowledged. 

Fujieda knew that Towa reminded him of himself and deep down knew that this was the very reason why it caused him to repel from Towa due to how similar they are. He reflected all the aspects of Fujieda that he tried to bury deep inside of himself. The reason he doesn’t think Towa reminded Fujieda of himself before is that it would be like admitting that his existence is just as miserable as Towa’s.

This scene is where Fujieda finally acknowledges their similarities to each other. in the way they are each other's mirror, Towa is Fujieda’s mirror just as Fujieda acts as Towa's mirror

Afterward, In the bathroom, Fujieda and Towa face each other parallels both scenes of Towa standing in front of the mirror shower referencing the rain as a callback to the apartment after they got the rain when Towa first saw Fujieda's scars. Towa requests to see Fujieda's scars wishing to take solace in the sight then to this beautiful CG

Fujieda and Towa are facing each other naked in the shower covered in scars standing in front of each other this is like looking in a mirror. This shows solidarity and comfort in their similarity 

Next to the sex scene. The sex scene is an accumulation of their feelings. Towa feels comfortable being touched by Fujieda. he is overwhelmed to be touched by someone similar to him. In the sex scene, Towa touches Fujieda’s scars Fujieda and Towa understand their pain and trauma. This is about Towa making sure that their pain, trauma, and experiences are on their bodies. It alone was enough if they both understood. 

Yeah, he has Taku and Rei but he never finds someone to whom he can relate or even acknowledge his pain. Fujieda understands what Towa has been through in the way Taku and Rei don't. Towa has someone to whom he can relate, and pushes himself to better himself that is why Fujieda is around to help Towa process his trauma to heal from it.

They are similar to each other, yet different, so they're equal.

[enden-k]

From someone that had no idea what slow damage was and literally just enjoys your art. The Rei drawing just threw me in a spiral. It gives me so much gender euphoria because the way you draw him (again no idea how he looks ingame) is literally how i wanna look (transmasc here just for context). Im squealing i need to check it out now definitly. So thank you, officially infected me with the brain rot.

Btw Youri gives me the same feeling just to for my inner edgy teenager that never lost the "emo phase"

-🐉

ohh uhh i def should give a warning. slow damage is a 18+ BL game and contains lots of sensitive dark themes (nitro chiral is known for making dark content BL VNs), my bby towa alone is a walking warning for himself since he desires violence and pain (it comes from his past he doesnt remember) and enjoys getting hurt and injured no matter in fights or in bed (which happens a lot that it even gets funny sometimes when hes just roaming the streets and some rando slashes him out of nowhere, he lit gets into stuff against his will and is like "ye i got stabbed again" all unbothered when taku patches him up AHHAHHA)

the game contains (obviously graphic sex), graphic injuries/body harm, physical/sexual violence, self harm (towa just cant stop getting hurt/hurting himself); ill add more warnings under the cut, please do read if you consider playing so you know what will await you

all the sensitive stuff aside, it def has fun/lighter moments. rei is a mother hen who can kick ass and look pretty (DONT LOOK AT HIS EUPHORIA END, euphoria end rei is not real he cant hurt us) - he has the biggest sweet tooth, drives a motorcycle, loves deathmatches, works part time at the clinic and the bar, does body art as a hobby, absolutely loves towas art and fusses over him all the time and is the sweetest boyfriend you can have (i love him a lot)

also this is so funny you say that bc i created youri when i was lit in my own emo era as a teen AHHAHAHAH

anw some routes contain themes like suicidal ideation (rei and madarame), assault, human trafficking, drugs (taku), grooming (taku), body dysmorphia (rei; at some point in the past he and towa tried to cut off his dick), child abuse/assault and pedophilia (mentioned in asakura chapter and towas past, no one is committing it), imprisonment (madarame), dubcon - i didnt play fujieda route (final/true route) yet but i already heard its a sad chapter bc towas past gets uncovered so theres def more warnings for that bc this boy can fit so much trauma. so much

towa barely eats/drinks and prefers cigarettes and alcohol over food; so naturally theres lots of alcohol. theres also a few times where he theres a shrill ringing noise when hes having dreams, i dunno if ppl are sensitive to that but better mention it

each route has a euphoria ending (good) and madness ending (bad); i saved the madness ones for later so i cant tell how much worse those get jkfbk

[nitrokiraru]

finished listening to the fujitowa drama cd! thoughts and probably spoilers under the cut

the translator of this cd requested it not to be uploaded anywhere else so unfortunately screenshots of the translation will not be added here (assuming that counts) but shoutout to @/everythingblreview for translating it!

to be honest i’m not really the biggest fan of fujitowa as a pairing but i enjoyed this cd a lot! as y’all know every drama cd gotta have some sort of plot in there and the plot this time was fujieda’s past work as a lawyer for takasato gumi catching up to him and having people plot revenge on him and people around him. of course it all worked out in the end with fujieda admitting his faults and regrets n whatnot

besides the plot though this drama cd was probably the most domestic-like so far and i was loving it like just to list off some moments

-towa forgets to dry his hair after taking a bath, fujieda does it for him. (notably in a rough way, to towa’s annoyance)

-fujieda talks about towa’s legal name and suggests “towa fujieda” which towa takes as a marriage proposal flustering the shit out of fujieda

-they drink wine together at home and talk about fujieda’s past jobs, apparently he used to be a host. towa learns this and immediately goes “is that why you’re so good at sex?”

-fujieda pretends to be a host for towa, saying “may i have your hand lady?” towa goes “did you really do this?” and he goes “of course not.” and towa laughs and says “don’t lie”

-honestly the entirety of track 10

-fujieda taking pictures of towa in front of the Kochia (i looked it up and it’s like a flower plant field type thing in japan?)

also loved igurashi showing up. he’s just a little guy. also appreciated towa and fujieda calling him puppy coded. anyways overall very nice drama cd ^_^

[yukirayu]

Question: Did Towa really say "Sounds gay," in Fujieda's Euphoria ending?

If you listen to what Towa said in this part, he says "bakabakashii", which was also said in two other instances, namely in the climax of Asakura's chapter, and also in Taku's Euphoria ending.

If you look at the JP text, you'll notice that Asakura and Taku's scenes use "馬鹿馬鹿しい" (kanji) while Fujieda's scene uses "バカバカしい" (katakana).

Despite the different spelling, both have the exact same meaning.

In other words, Towa most definitely did not say "Sounds gay" or anything close in terms of context.

If the localization really seemed to be against using any of the above meanings for Fujieda's scene, having Towa say "Sounds sappy" or "Sounds cheesy" instead would still at least be a step in the right direction.

Instead, what is otherwise a touching scene gets diluted or ruine (depending on your tolerance level) by a poor localization choice out of the need to make a joke. Sometimes it takes that one line to kill the mood of a scene, even if you can understand what the character actually said. Like that one scene where a certain somebody says "Hasta la vista."

Besides, if Towa had really said "gay", you'd have seen "ゲイ" in the text.

See the pictures below for the characters used for "gay", "homosexual" and "homo", respectively.

[ruskatuskapuskasapuska]

Slou Damake? Nääh, se on poka Hiras Lämä (I swear suomalaistan kaikki fandomit johon saan paskaiset näppini)

Tein nää pahimman SD-brainrottini aikana ja toivottavasti nää pääsis joskus iha tarramuotoonki (kuha vaa saisin itteni joskus vielä taidekujakuntoon)

And as usual, poor translations just in case (I've actually thought of making eng. versions of these, but ehhhhghhh i don't think that'll happen for a while (if ever)):

Towa "Booze & smokes"

Taku "In my medical opinion: Don't."

Rei "I wanna beat you, then eat you <3" (can't believe it rhymes in eng as well!)

Madarame "Ya wanna get beat?"

Fujieda "Thank you, that's enough."

Kotarou "Fuck it's cold!!"

Mayu "You look just like my anime-waifu <3"

Eiji "Nuclear bomb! :-D"

Vampire "Thristy..." (it's actually in estonian (or as we like to call it: drunk finnish))

Ikuina "wanna play knife-tag??"

Asakura "uncle-ing hazard" (a word play on "radiation hazard" and...? "uncle-ing?"/acting like a creepy guy (probs the most tastleless out of the bunch but eghhhh i'm cancel-worthy anyways))

Mizuno "(I) got beaten up..."

(Nearly all of these are in low/highkey dialect or slang and just stolen memes/jokes in general)

[butterfly-indulgence]

I started playing Slow Damage and I love Towa so much. He's such a hot mess (can he be my hot mess-)

I finished Taku's good ending this morning and I loved the scene when he had sex with Taku. Not in a 'fucking' type of way but the 'making love' type of way.

Towa's so used to being treated as a toy. He expected it from Taku too but no, he was treated gently instead. Towa's initial confusion and then his realization that 'oh, he felt good'

Towa repeatedly stated that he can't really feel any excitement with tender stuff, but there he is, feeling good doing it with the person he actually loves 😭

He's used to fooling around but that's the first time he actually did it with someone he loves. Like??? Yes??? Towa pls you deserve the world.

I'm excited to go on Rei's route next. Initially, I was hoping to get Rei's route first, but Taku is fine too.

I've seen some posts about Madarame and I'm not excited for him because it seems like he made Towa so much worse. I'll probably just go through his route as fast as possible.

Fujieda, I'm not sure yet. But I've seen people say that his route is good so I'm looking forward to it.

[princeofcyberpunk]

random scout characters ive collected as my personal favorite group of guys

Imoto Sayumi

there is not a THING going on up there except that hairbow

Fukukawa Yoko

we need more goth characters in this franchise that arent overtly "scary" or "halloween" themed. anyway apparently she hates wasting money so i automatically relate hell yeah frugal queen

Hoshihara Tsugumi

APARENTLY SHE RUNS AWAY IF BOYS SAY THEY LIKE HER?? LMAO?? her dismayed expression is really everything to me

Fujieda Nunoka

girl i am begging you to get brown contacts

Matsutani Kazuho

apparently she wants to be a model but is worried about her appearance. alright thats another for the 'make them kaede's friend because they have no real lore and a tangential relation to fashion' pile

Yashiro Momoko

she feeds the stray cats in her neighborhood how could i not love her

Kurashima Mao

i am resisting the urge to make a "bLuE hAiReD wOkE fEmiNiSt" joke so hard rn anyways shes completely correct i can attest i am an urchin im very spiky

Shirasagi Akesumi

all it says is that he's self-conscious about his apperence and while im inclined to say that makes him endearing the evil within me is saying "well yeah with a dumbass asymmetrical haircut like that you better be"

Chidori Yaena

im gonna be so real i genuinely thought that she was a frog for a second anyway we need more inazuma eleven characters with bows on them

Rinnouji Raigo

ok putting aside the fact that this man is a cyclist HIS DUB NAME IS AVID PEDDLER. his parents must fucking HATE HIM

Takama Ai

im gonna be real i only like her because her design is scary what is WRONG with her

Kazamatsuri Sou

he looks like those times in the Yo-Kai Watch canon where the Yo-Kai use those leaves to appear as humans. but like. if Ventoct did that

Hiraraki Raina

she aparently loves american tv and orders DVDs from there of said shows. i am afraid of which ones she's referring to because last time i checked the only good thing on TV we export is cartoons

Reizei Rikihito

his hair is cute and his name is fun to say what more could i ask for

Aragaki Rekkuu

he looks like he'd be rivals with the previous guy and also kinda like he fell out of beyblade

and finally Shima Naemi

SHE WANTS TO BE A DETECTIVE AND LOOKS LIKE SHES ABOUT TO CRY I LOVE HER we need to have a whole game about this girl stat

[towapet]

okay so anyway, towa 100% has bladder issues and heres why (not self projection i promise)

most obvious reason, his trauma. i could see towa wetting himself from a nightmare, in fact im more surprised that it didnt actually happen.

during fujiedas route, reliving his past couldve caused his bladder to give out </3

towa isnt the best at looking after himself and theres no greater example than when hes painting. im already convinced that he has an awfully weak bladder but i dont think hed even realise he wet himself while painting

(bless taku and rei for their patience and willingness to clean up after him, we all need a taku and a rei in our lives)

towas age regression !!! regressing to a younger mindset doesnt always lead to bladder problems, but for towa it certainly does

fujieda would be so unbelievably patient and caring to towa when he has an accident, especially when hes regressed. im sure sometimes it drives towa crazy with how gentle he is

rei would tease towa light heartedly, he doesnt mind cleaning towa up, as long as towa helps !! he'll nag and nag but its all in good fun and to lighten the mood

taku lets out a siiiigh and says something like "right, lets clean you up then. again." they have a routine where towa lets taku clean him up. towa says takus too old to be cleaning up his messes, but taku insists it makes him feel younger

madarame is all too happy to let towa wallow in his mess, and given the chance towa absolutely would. but madarame cant stand towa being wet and strips him of his pants and drags him straight to the bathroom. everytime he asks "arent you too old to be pissing yourself?" and towa just shrugs. theres no hard feelings and theres an understandment between them- its casual and doesnt need to be mentioned further

[starryvoice]

I don't know if I should start posting about my favorite fictional people (Yes Both Male and Female) throughout the years, but I think I will now so you guys know what I really like about them

Miles 'Tails' Prower

Shadow The Hedgehog

Amy Rose (She was my kin for so long as a kid for sure I became her when I had my first crush)

Elsa (Who didn't kin for Elsa as a kid?)

Jack Frost (I was that kid that likes his looks before man)

Sans (As Much I was a big shipper of Frisk x Sans, of course I did read a few x reader about him)

Purple Guy Vincent (Not Purple Guy William XD) (Again if I was that Sans fan, I was that Vincent fan)

Golden Freddy (Weird Right?! I really love his fanfiction version so much XD)

Clear (DMMD) (This was the start of a trend of Innocent, but it is a two sides of the coin boys that I love)

Ren (DMMD) (Same Reasons as Clear)

Aoba (Oh boi I kin this man so hard as a kid man)

Rias Gremory (Bruh not as Kin, but really as a crush)

Asia Argento (Kin and Crush)

Koneko Toujou (Crush)

Gasper (The First Time I started to really like femboys)

Ciel Phantomhive (Yes Ciel, not Sebastian since I used to ship them so hard, but never got interested at Sebastian at all)

Hiroyuki Akiyama (NTY) (What can I say I love his moans voice so much)

Ryu Kurosawa (NTY) (Same reason as Hiroyuki)

Konoe (Lamento) (Heavy kinnie for this man)

Asato (Lamento) (Same reasons as Clear and Ren)

Towa (Slow Damage) (Bruh as a young adult, I kin this man hard when I played the game)

Fujieda (Slow Damage) (Well he does have the two side of the coin thing that I liked XD)

Butters (South Park) (I love the fandom version of him XD)

Kenny (South Park) (Same reason as Butters)

Tweek (South Park) (Same reason as Butters)

Craig (South Park) (Same reason as Butters)

Connor (DBH) (Bruh who would love this man)

America and England (Hetalia) (Okay I was that weird fan and shipper of both, but I love the fanfictions for the ship so hard that love them both as characters)

Deku (Come on who didn't see this coming? Two sides of the coin thing)

Miles Edgeworth (If I was a big fan of England for sure I would love this man as well)

Iruma-kun (Welcome to Demon School Iruma) (I think if I like Deku why not Iruma right?)

Goh (Heavy Kin and shipper of him and Ash)

Frick I don't want to say some of my Genshin Favs, but I really love Diluc and Tighnari so much when I was in fandom before (I was mainly a Diluc main until the end of my Genshin Days)

Catarina Claes/Bakarina (HameFura) (Bruh heavy kin and I really love her character so much man)

Cove Holden (At this point you seen this list and known that I have a type by now, Two sides of the coin thing)

Finn and Charlie (YuuriVoice) (Two Side of the Coins + they are so cute man + my newest bb bois)

[bigbobbiehorror]

Slow Damage in Hunger Games simulator

This was 100% a product of boredom.

Honestly I know that I picked a couple of characters that are dead in-game, but I don't care because I kind of wanted to add them to the mix for the sake of diversity.

Teams were also not very well-thought out, but it should serve its purpose too

So here goes how this sim turned out!

First off: good on Towa trying to start eating for once, but didn't need to break Mayu's nose for that.

Lisa steals from a literal child, Kotarou is done with Mayu's weeb ass and ditches him and Towa keeps getting food. And Fujieda blows Toono's ass for good measure!

Honami delivers sweet payback to Mizuno, good for her! Meanwhile Fujieda is having a conscience crisis after killing a guy. Mayu forgives Towa for breaking his nose, and now I'm having second thoughts about letting Mei into the Hunger Games.

How is Rei discovering all these caves? Taeko turns savage and kills a poor weeb... and Ikuina spies a mysterious reunion between Maya and Taku... 🤔 And Junko consistently proves that knives aren't acceptable for brawling.

RIP Golden Retriever boy (sorry for misgendering you) & RIP Milquetoast Gay Nurse. Sakaki is acting sus with Rei. Fujieda and Towa have a moment while Taku is on the background tending himself, probably.

Sorry, but Madarame just chilling and picking flowers is so funny.

Sponsors decided the girls weren't killing enough people, so free hatchets! And RIP Eiji & Rei, Madarame is just getting started. Fujieda continues to have a mental breakdown and everyone except Towa sucks at making fires, apparently.

RIP Junko, you served looks anywhere you were. Also RIP Taku, Arata, Kotarou and the Roost Owner. Except Sakaki, he can eat shit. Madarame on a murder rampage while his ex is picking up flowers is such a mood.

Taeko decides that murder is kinda hot actually and gets a piece of that fat ass. On the side, Ikuina and Towa are having a normal one, while Maya and Lisa sustain a one-night toxic yuri session.

Also, I just feel happy that Fujieda and Mei are finally reunited 🥲

Mayu goes wild, he decides to avenge his fallen friends! RIP Madarame, you smug asshole. Also RIP Lisa.

RIP Ikuina, Honami & Mayu, you were too good for this game. As for Maya:

Taeko is now having a bit of inner-searching with someone from the past. And Fujieda is now being an ass, but that's too in-character, as far as I'm concerned.

This is consistently the most Towa has gone through just to eat.

Aaaand, there it is. That's a Bad End. RIP Towa, wish you could've talked things over. And RIP Taeko, you fought good.

...

Which leaves us with only Fujieda and Mei,

Two siblings who have been separated years ago, finally reunited under tragic and precarious circumstances. It's a bittersweet sort of meeting, they have their own lives to fight for, they barely have any time to even talk to each other... but now that every other contestant is gone... they can finally let their guard down.

Mei is so happy to see him alive, even if his hands are stained with blood, even with the horrors they had to live through. Fujieda is so happy, finally having the chance to hold her, to talk to her... it was what he's been hoping for years.

So they do what they've been wanting to. They talk, they cry, they laugh together, they hold each other until the sun sets, until they start to get hungry. There's still supplies left, they can cook something for dinner, so Fujieda decides to cook, because he's the big brother and he's supposed to take care of his little sister.

Mei is thrilled, having missed the tenderness of her brother and she looks forward for the meal they'll share...

... except, she forgets one small single detail:

Her brother can't cook for shit.

And so, Fujieda wins the Hunger Games,

but at what cost?