#“full of trauma” I say
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Yeah no you're not wrong
They're very much better about it now, but they used to be VERY full of Trauma
Living weapon after they're rescued part 2
[awkward whumpee vibes]
Always checking to see if they did something wrong.
Whumpee is talking but they trail off as they realize everyone is staring at them. "What... What was it this time? The part about the crushing?"
Whumpee getting so terrified of losing this new-found safety that they start creeping around on eggshells trying to be invisible. It's too good to be true and they just want the illusion to stay for as long as possible.
"You can pretend to be my friends, lie to me, torture me, but I will never tell you what you want to know." "Whumpee, I just want to know if pepperoni sounds good." *Long pause* "...Is that like a meat thing or...."
"oh, fuck, i'm sorry, I got blood on your rug, shit shit shi--" "WHUMPEE YOU NEED STITCHES!" "Yeah but I can heal and the rug--" "forget about the damn rug!"
If someone raises their voice, whumpee flinches and responds with a "yes sir" before they can think a out it.
Protesting too much. "I don't take orders from you."
"I'm not just an asset!" "I'm not saying you are, whumpee--" "then put this back, I don't need nice clothes to have the same rights as you!"
"whumpee, you can stop looking out the window every five seconds. We're in a safe zone." "Yeah, for now," whumpee glances out again.
Patting people's backs to see if they're wearing a wire, disguising it really well as just sincere friendliness and warmth
And then losing all that when they sit down and take out their gun and just set it on the dinner table. "....What?" Whumpee frowns in confusion. "Can I not clean my gun? Do I not get to have my own weapon?"
"whumpee, can you not spray wd-40 right next to my plate. I'm eating here." "Come on, it's not even that poisonous. besides, this gun isn't gonna clean itself."
"Can you not have dinner like a normal person?!" "Already finished."
*whumpee points out a tactical advantage* "Calm down whumpee, it's just snakes and ladders." Whumpee stares at the board, feeling their sense of usefulness drain away.
Going over the times they were completely badass until it gets annoying.
When they realize they're only good at killing. And they almost want to go back to it, because at least then they had a purpose.
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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*record scratch*
Yup, that’s me, watching my future wife fall to the ground dead from a trap I set off. I bet you’re wondering how I got into this situation. Well, my life’s a little crazy, but it all began when my family was murdered in a political coup and I made a pact to create the first gun with a smoke demon...
#poor guy cannot catch a break#percy de rolo is the only character ever actually#fucked up nerdy preppy angsty white haired anime gun boy with a secret soft side who makes clockwork presents for his friends?#literally nobody is doing it like him#you go gunslinger; get that trauma!#try to make up for your curse and atone for your sins but fuck everything up anyways! go crazy have a mental breakdown!!#decide to say ''fuck it'' and insult your love intrest's father to his face in such a savage verbal dressing down he'll never recover!#i support him in all his endeavours and hes never done anything bad actually#critical role#percy de rolo#percival de rolo#including his full name for kicks#percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii#tlovm#tlovm spoilers#cr1#critical role spoilers#the legend of vox machina#legend of vox machina#lovm#tlovm season 2#tlovm s2#vox machina#perc'ahlia#andis thought geyser
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totals ur drama
#shut up. dont say a word. total drama lives in my SOUL but that wasnt how this started.#so i talk abt it privately a bit but im currently Drowning in ideas. ive never had this happen before. i have a backlog of ~25 drawings#and then i thought 'oh maybe it WOULD be fun to build a silver rig! a simple one! like the chihiro DR rig i built!'#and then i SCREAMED INTO THE VOID because i do not have TIME!!!! even a SIMPLE RIG IS MINIMUM A FULL DAYS WORK#but does reason ever stop me??? NO. so i fuckign. DREW THIS AFTER TODAY'S BG SERIES WORK. YKNOW. JUST IN CASE#im smashing my head with ROCKS i am DERANGED. i am CURSED. i do not have TIME FOR THJIS. HES SO CYUTE#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails#oh yea but also im obsessed with total drama and always have been and always will be and have watched the reboot seasons#multiple times each and i have them downloaded just in case and i read the tumblr webcomic total trauma and have for years and and and#gripping ur shoulders. leave. get out of here before i keep yapping
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon#stolitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss meta#More or less?#image description in alt#I am sorry for inflicting pain but I simply cannot suffer alone#They both think they're being rejected when truly they're both desperate to be enough for the other#But as soon as they give the other a chance to say 'I want you too'#(Stolas with his heartfelt confession; Blitz with his 'hold on Stolas' and his 'LET'S GO!')#The other immediately goes 'oh so I was right. He really actually does not want me around. Just like I feared#And acts accordingly. Which just cements the other's belief that what's happening is just a very cruel and mocking rejection#HE'S NOT REJECTING YOU HE'S REACHING OUT SAYING 'WILL YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL' YOU IDIOT#<- me at BOTH of them#Their trauma is so well written I am in awe always and forever. Every step of the way. Their brokenness heals me.#It's going to be so cathartic when they grow to understand one another's perspective
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do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)
#Monkie Kid#lego monkie kid#monkie kid spoilers#lmk spoilers#im gonna be completely honest: i think the only reason Mac HASN'T apologized is cause he thinks they wont listen to it#so he's trying to do things WAY more subtly and it's NOT working out#and when i say ''he thinks they won't listen'' i dont mean he thinks they won't forgive him#honestly the group would be split 50/50 between ''forgives him'' and ''suspicious but willing to let him try''#i FULL OUT mean he thinks they won't listen. that they won't even hear his apology and will just talk over/ignore him#or completely misinterpret what he's saying#THAT'S what he thinks#when he was being the villain he was putting on a show. it's HILARIOUS how obvious his actions are a front when you rewatch s1 and s2#but like?? being actually him?? he does NOT expect them to listen to him when he's just himself#sort of like a. ''if you want people to listen you have to anger/frighten them into paying attention'' kind of mentality#not a good mentality to have#it DOES explain why he reacts Like That whenever someone does something that indicates they DID pay attention though#like. listen hear me out. i do NOT think Macaque expected MK to remember the Warrior thing.#so when MK brought it up it hit him like a truck#also why he reacts like that when Wukong somewhat seriously answers his ''you know this is just the calm before the storm'' question#+ when Wukong says ''we''#cause he does not consider himself part of the group. hence staying on the outskirts#GOD this guy is such a delicious pack of trauma to dissect. thank you lego for giving me not one#not two#but THREE traumatized monkeys to analyze
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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birthdays.
#happy birthday yuuji.#jjk#itadori yuuji#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#yuuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#posting this a full week after his birthday do not say a faawking word#😔😔😔🥹🥹🥹🥹#featuring new post-trauma hairstyles!!!!#and yuuji taller than megumi because i think his body got physically stunted while sukunafied#and nobara being drawn 7 times and not looking like the same person in any of the drawings#sorry bbg#🥹#anyways. idk what else to say#i miss my kids#happy birthday yuuji
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Me when characters who were raised with the sole purpose of fighting or getting revenge perceive themselves as a weapon 🙏🙏🙏
#i love angsty little bitches full of trauma what can i say#i'm just a girl#Nova Artino#Renegades#renegades trilogy#renegades spoilers
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You know, i didnt really realise this until i was reading into it properly but
It says that Garmadon took more risks after the Aspheera incident, not after the venom. Which implies the venom didn’t make him reckless and impulsive which i’d assumed at first tbh, ive seen a lot of posts say it too.
Which kinda implies the venom more likely affects emotions which are already there and probably amplifies them by corrupting said feelings?
I mean, it says here Garmadon became impulsive after the Aspheera incident, where the FSM started talking to them less out of paranoia and probably realising his kids weren’t mature enough to know about certain things.
What if the reason why is that the Aspheera incident and his father’s reaction caused resentment to build up in Garmadon? Then Garmadon started questioning his father and started seeing much less reason to obey his father as well so took risks and broke rules.
Then he got bitten by a snake whose venom caused him to become more impulsive and affected his thoughts and feelings? I say this because of the “It’s all Wu’s fault!” thing he said in the show. In other books, Garmadon goes on to blame himself not Wu, which really shows how he really feels and how he first blamed Wu due to the venom, not because of how he felt.
(Tbh i also feel if Wu was the one who got bit, Garmadon would blame himself the same way Wu did for centuries after. Like “I’m his big brother! Why didn’t I go? Why was I such a coward?”
On another note, sad Wu hours 😔, my boy had to grow up fast because of trauma. To be honest, it’s not uncommon for 7-year olds to test the limits of whats allowed and whats not. Breaking rules is normal kid behaviour to me, it’s just more extreme because Wu and Garmadon are the FSM’s kids (whose basically god in Ninjago.)
I imagine 7-year old Wu didn’t properly understand the consequence or the concept of going onto Serpentine land. Which isn’t illogical, he’s 7 years old. I imagine Garmadon was at least 10 (or maybe Wu was 10 and Garmadon was 13 idk) which means Garmadon being more responsible is more understandable, he knew more than Wu and understood more.
I also still find it so so sad how their roles flipped. Wu was always more curious and explorative which is why he went everywhere. I bet you he was the kid running and throwing himself in mud with his brother screaming at him not too lmao, or even the kid eating random plants as Garmadon tried to stop him. Wu’s curiosity and recklessness is still in him in adulthood, he’s very unhinged if you actually look deeper into him.
#btw#this isnt an invite to start bashing on the FSM#that guy is also full of trauma#imagine being the hybrid child of 2 races who hate eachother#and try to get u to kill the other race#i wouldnt come out of that without trust issues#i’d be surprised if anyone came out of that without trust issues#you know the mindset of ‘everyones out to use me’#wu and garmadon deffo touched buried trauma with their dad with this incident#hes a complex character with PTSD#hes not really a great parent tho i have to say#id imagine its hard being a parent when you’ve never had one nor properly have ever been a child#ninjago#lego ninjago#sensei wu#ninjago wu#lord garmadon#ninjago garmadon#fsm#fsm ninjago#ninjago fsm#ninjago first spinjitzu master#first spinjitzu master#young master wu#young garmadon#master wu#spinjitzu brothers#spinjitzu family#ninjago theory
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autism 4 autism javey. you agree
#mummel brainworms#newsies#listen i know jacks fixation on cowboys is him coping with with trauma of being a homeless kid with no future#but with the power of my autism beam i can warp reality as i want it#jack has the type of autism where hes hypervigilant towards social cues on the street in order to survive#and the newsies mostly saying what they mean also helps a lot#but hes a fish out of water in social circles that are not his own#do you get it do you understand#i dont even have to explain davey being autistic because its just true full stop#javey
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BOOYAH I DIDN’T RUN OUTTA MOTIVATION AND ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS ON TIME LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <- guy who just traumatized Eight again for funsies
#splatoon#agent 8#agent 4#does 3 count if they’re just mentioned?#I’m gonna say no bc it’s funny#the anvil got them sry guys🙏🙏#agent 32#Raggots#goober art#gonna be real#I do NAWT like the artstyle I used for this but i don’t feel like doing studies n stuff just for a canvas full of yapping so…#SHIT ART IT IS LETS GOOOOOO#YAYYYY EIGHT HAS MORE TRAUMA EVERYONE CLAP AND CHEER YAYYYYYYY#Ok that’s enough now#gonna go like…do smth else ig idrk#listen to Too Many Bad Habits by Bad Waitress#do ur daily click#annndddddd#have a good#( ¯ □ ¯ )
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it still fucks me up that fuyuhiko and peko were literally kidnapped as children. i dont think anyone ever talks about that at all. is that even well known information
#probably gonna draw something related to this??#sorry. sometimes i like to read his wiki from time to time and im just like. Oh.#this guy is fucked up. we been knew but Damn#it doesnt say how young he was when that happened to him#but since it emphasizes they were children and also he hasnt cried since second grade (and he cried in those mountains)#then he was like. eight years old?#god DAMN thats so sad. imagine what happened to them dude#thats gotta impact him for a long time. and he NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT!!!#sorry im full of thoughts. maybe this is nothing. i just heart fuyuhiko. poor guy#i feel like he never ever had a chance to fully process his trauma#until literally like. after the game . way later hes able to think about it#rambling#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#danganronpa
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that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege
#jiang cheng#wwx#twin prides#i have a whole post about how they both think of themselves as having an older-sibling role#but even if that wasn't true jc still always calls him by his full name and the one time wwx tried to call him shidi jc yelled at him#their relationship is not that simple! it's a huge thing that wwx occupies a weird in-between role in their family!#he's definitely not a servant but also definitely not a full member of their family and that's super important to the story!#even if jc WANTED to think of him as his older brother he would need to get past seven layers of trauma to even realize he wanted that#and then he would have to admit it to himself and then work up the courage to admit it to someone else#and even then he probably still wouldn't say it to wwx's face#sure yanli calls wwx her didi but things are much simpler from her point of view#plus she's one of those people - like lxc - that can hold an opinion deep inside herself and be at peace with it even if it conflicts +#+ with what the world says and what she's been brought up to believe#jc is not like that. he internalizes way more from the outside world and if he feels conflicted he just kind of implodes#he's spent his whole life being told that wwx is not his equal and is someone to compete against#and also secretly believing that wwx is eventually going to abandon him because he doesn't think anyone truly cares for him#plus wwx treats him like a bff who is also a liege lord rather than a beloved younger brother#he would Not form a secure attachment to wwx lmao#it also really annoys me that when people write/conceptualize him as someone who thinks of wwx as his real gege +#+ they tend to completely erase jyl and minimize her importance to jc. he HAS an older sibling who he trusts unconditionally and confides +#+ in and takes comfort from! that person already exists! and they ignore her in favor of the protagonist#it also really bugs me when they have him mourning wwx those whole 13-16 years but don't put in a single word about yanli#this kind of turned into a rant about jyl... i have a lot of feelings about her especially since i'm the oldest sibling in my family#anyway. that man does not think of wwx as his gege#haterade#(kind of)
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The death of Nex & queer people like him scares me.
It scares me because that could've been me.
It scares me because that could've been my friends.
And it scares me even more knowing that if I knew him, we probably could've been friends.
He deserved to live.
He deserved to live to 17.
He deserved to graduate high school.
He deserved to grow up and accomplish things.
And now that he's gone, he deserves to have the full truth told about his death.
#text post#lgbtq#lgbt#trans#transgender#nex benedict#protect trans lives#protect trans kids#I see so much of myself in him & it hurts to think about how much he's going to miss out on#he won't go to prom or graduate#he won't see his friends or his family anymore#he won't even draw or read or cook anymore#Oklahoma should be beyond ashamed that they're covering up the death of a minor who deserved a full life#and every single group who played a part in death and deaths like his should be charged#and even if did end his life which I doubt the head trauma would've played a serious part in that#it would've been a lie to say 'oh he didn't experience any traumas'
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