#<- for long posts lmao

[thisispoggers]

What do you imagine a Geronimo Stilton Pirate AU to be like?

Soda you are about to awaken the AC Black Flag Whore inside me

The ship’s name would likely be The Rodent’s Voyage lol a little something from its original source

In true fashion, Geronimo is the unwilling captain of a ship lmaoooo but id say that Geronimo is gonna be hella different than usual since he is gonna be raised as a pirate

Pirates in history is known for catching navy ships and looting them so G would be a lot more aggressive compared to his other counterparts which is a saying something lmao

G would have to be really ruthless, strategic and has great fighting skills just to be able to lead a gang of pirates but that doesn’t mean that G has to be like hella rude (tho he has to be hella loud lol)

Which can be in their favour cuz if he can speak the gentleman’s language then he will be able to gain a whole lot of allies despite being a criminal of the sea

But while he is bound by contract on land, that doesn’t mean he is bound by contract at sea because it can be a lot easier to hide crimes at sea cuz many people in the old days are unable to swim (unless you’re a pirate or work on the water)

While Geronimo might be a pirate, he always is true to his promise because for him “a true man keeps his words” which is hella rare for pirates at the time so his crew would definitely be hired for a whole lot of dirty work by corrupted officials that doesn’t care how the work is done as long as it is on the down low and done quickly so he definitely has a lot of favours he can ask to be able to get out of certain situations

Of course G would not be trusting any of his allies with his life nor any of his family’s life so he always carries a weapon on him in case they try anything cuz he might be the only pirate captain working for anyone with money, he is still a pirate so if he gets caught or arrested, he will be shot on the spot

Anyways to the family!

Peepaw would definitely be retired but as he was the previous captain, he would definitely be the boatswain of the ship, essentially he is the manager of everything on the ship so he is always checking in on the ship’s condition, supplies, crew and most importantly Geronimo (the other option for him is that he retires somewhere nice and secluded but that’s boring I need Peepaw screaming at the crew)

Thea is gonna be the Helmsman of the ship as well as being the Sailing Master as she is great with navigation as well as finding new places to check out and loot from plus she is the best fighter of the entire crew, she essentially drives the ship as well as set the crew in the course that she agrees upon with Captain Geronimo

Trap is the cook no explanations needed screw this guy

Fine he is also the Master Gunner, he just maintains the ship’s weapons

Benjamin is most definitely and irrevocably gonna be somewhere else that is not the ship cuz as much as the family would like to be close to the little man, they ultimately will not want him anywhere in harm’s way so they got someone else raising him in a far away but safe location away from the pirate’s enemies cuz they will not take any chances that he would get hurt or worse

I think most of the family’s riches are concealed away from the rest of the world in the safest location and that location would be some type of mansion or villa they built in an extremely secluded but safe location known only by Peepaw, Thea and Geronimo in which there is a secret room where the money is in gold and precious items like gold swords, crowns and the likes (Trap is not to be trusted screw him)

This is also gonna be the place Benjamin will be living in and raised to not be a pirate by Aunt Sweetfur and eventually Professor Von Volt

Prof Volt probs got trusted because he is indebted to Peepaw or something like he grew up poor and he got what it takes for a medical degree and Peepaw pays for it or something and that’s why he is loyal idk

Which can also open up to some kind of storyline that Benjamin is now a grown young man and wants to learn about his family’s history only to figure out that his estranged family members were a bunch of pirates which can be a cool story or something

[lokh]

communication is key 💪

[thelostmoongazer]

gonna keep it real with you all i mainly got into cotl so i could have better context to read the TROD fic .......

The Rehabilitation Of Death AU belongs to @bamsara the comic scene is from chapter 16 lol

[serpentofdusk]

i don't know how to flirt so i just stare at you like a cat dragged out of a dumpster and hope you can see the longing in my panicked gaze

[emberglowfox]

Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)

*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.

This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.

[bigfatbreak]

they both got bonked for being silly.

[gin-juice-tonic]

Okay well maybe he's cool in the way where you want to study him, but NOT in the way that makes you want to be his eternal cuckoo bananas roommate!

[dizzyalex]

Sighhhh, sans undertale…

[hermit-frog]

[doomdoomofdoom]

Kamala Harris does want "transgender surgery on illegal aliens that are in prison", btw.

So since Trumpists are getting mad enough about the jokes to actually cite their sources, I thought I'd put the source out into my left extremist commie faggot echo chamber, too.

The claim originates from an ACLU questionnaire she filled out for her 2020 presidential candidacy, specifically this section:

She wasn't given a new questionnaire for 2024, and has stated that while her policy on some things may have changed, her values had not. (This most likely means she moved more to the center to appease larger demographics and cut corners to reach compromises. The basic politician stuff.)

It boils down to this: If you're in prison, whether for "illegal" immigration or other crimes, you rely on the state to provide you with necessary amenities, like food and health care. Her argument isn't "hell yeah everyone in prison should get sex changes for free". It's "gender affirming surgery is a necessary medical procedure. If you are in the states care while this becomes necessary, the state should provide it." If you're outraged by your tax money being used on this, consider the massive amount of people being incarcerated in for-profit prisons, on your dime. Then ask yourself if maybe a prison reform might be in order.

Worth noting: In 2015, while Attorney General, Kamala Harris actually argued against providing gender-affirming surgery to an incarcerated trans woman, claiming that HRT and psychotherapy were sufficiently covering her medical needs. She has since obviously changed her stance and assumed responsibility. (I would like to take this moment to remind my fellow left extremist commie faggots that "willingness to learn and rethink your views" is infinitely more valuable than "perfect from the start and unwilling to listen to anyone")

Also found in the source: This image of Kamala Harris participating in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade, wearing what I believe to be a sequin rainbow embroidered denim jacket.

I encourage you to read the provided CNN article and the answers to the ACLU questionnaire, as they give great insight into her values.

TLDR: Based.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

White Boy Goes Dancing Part The Second! Follows from this!

[seance]

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES + the onion headlines

[ink-the-artist]

Rabbits

Some bonus art, I initially started making this in a totally different art style but changed my mind about halfway through lmao, here are the parts I finished

[sangrefae]

laios touden + the question of self

[earlgraytay]

I really wish that people had a better grasp on what The Average Person's Life was like pre-industrialization. If you're living in the global North the odds are good that your life is, in fact, better than a medieval king- yes, even with the political stuff- and would make your ancestors cry wild tears of envy.

The things that suck about your life are things that suck about the baseline human condition (at least since the invention of agriculture, but that's 10,000 years of humanity). Yes, including all the political stuff.

The baseline human condition is "being terrified of losing the harvest and starving", compared to that, losing a job is no big deal. (It's bad, it can be life-upendingly bad, but it's still not "you are guaranteed to die if you screw this up" bad for most people.)

The baseline human condition is "getting kicked around by a tin pot dictator", whether that be a king, a baron, a warlord, or a chief; it's taken centuries of social technology to get the world to a point where that's Not Normal.

The baseline human condition is "losing multiple siblings and/or children at a young age to diseases that are entirely preventable". That's a shocking tragedy now. The baseline human condition is "being in the pathway of said tinpot dictator's wars of conquest" and having to deal with soldiers' pillage, looting, and worse (even if they're nominally on your side). That is, again, a shocking tragedy-- it still happens, and happens in way too much of the world, but no one is going to tell you that it's normal.

I'm not saying that we can sit back and rest on our laurels. We can't. I've been calling the pre-industrial world the "baseline human condition" for a reason- unless you're very, very careful, that's what your society eventually reverts to. It takes a lot of people working very hard to make sure you don't have to live at the baseline human condition, and if you start slacking on that, you start backsliding into it.

How we treat each other- and how we use the technology, material and social, that we've developed to make things easier- matters. We can make the world even better than it is now. We can also make it significantly worse. The choice is ours.

...But if you know that you can reliably have food regardless of the season, you don't live in fear of a random attack killing you tomorrow, and you can listen to music on command whenever you want? You do actually live a better life than a medieval king. Because even kings and emperors were much closer to the baseline human condition than a random farm worker in Bumfuck, Iowa is today.

[alcordraws]

Other people typcasting mark: the saddest, wettest, most tired looking Guy you've ever seen

Mark typcasting himself: incredibly unhinged terrible little entity fueled by the power of Fuck You