#//and i am really feeling out of touch
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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//the thing about getting new rp partners after new content drops is that they tend to vanish within like. weeks.
#ooc tag#//if you are reading this post this isn't about you!!!#//honestly it's not anyone i've interacted with here after the movie dropped#//this blog is doing good#//but uh.#//i am back to not having anyone for porf. /np#//and i am really feeling out of touch#//because i am too shy to reach out#//and also i think a lot of people prefer discord now but that feels TOO private for me ya know#//i don't think as many people rp on tumblr anymore#//it's just a trend i have noticed#//i have over 800 followers but 700 are inactive. i know this for a fact.#//like within a month of me making this blog i would be flooded with tons of new followers#//whose icons were all stolen gijinka art from google#//and they would send me a single ask make three posts then vanish off the face of the earth#//and this tended to happen after every new game for a bit#//maybe i'm not good at leaving a hook for the other person to latch on to for a reply?? :/
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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟
#pan draws#pan designs#zine#risograph#i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline#i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently#anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in#but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they#actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye#tdov#trans day of visibility#<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you#xines
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In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!
#Poorly drawn SVSSS#SVSSS#luo bingge#luo binghe#ask#Is that right? Two different character tags? I think that is right.#I'm calling myself out with screenshotting the asks with the dates because my full ask box has become a problem I'm determined to solve.#I promise you that if I did not respond to your ask it was because I 1) *really* wanted to hold on to it to make a doodle reply#or 2) really was so touched by the message and got overwhelmed#So expect many year + old asks suddenly gaining a reappearance! I'm going to get to them ALL.#Back to Luo Binghe (both versions). You see...the substance he is made with has a chemical reaction to affection.#Like how a pokemon has multiple paths to evolution depending on it's friendship points or exposure to random stones#so to does he evolve into various forms. I feel like Bingge (Ht) would be a noble gas. Unable to form bonds#I could also see him as a Halogen-type of element! Highly reactive and only truly found in manufactured environments.#And Binghe (Lv) would be an alkaline earth metal (+2). Sturdy. Forms bond better but not freely giving them away.#this is the second time I've related characters to elements - and I am far less familar with Scum Villian so please feel free to chime in.#I could be way off base here and I am very down for someone to talk chemistry and character themes.#Thank you all for the love you have given my silly little LBH. It means a lot to me B*)#Don't...don't look too hard at the lack of mark on his forehead here. I gave up. It's just...hidden behind his bangs.
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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6
13 or so days and it's finished!
Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after
Unedited it looks like this
I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also
A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines
I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)
I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year
#fanart#my art#isat#isat fanart#in stars and time#isat loop#loop#traditional art#artists on tumblr#Phew#So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game#I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment#This type of art is my therapy#And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything#It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here#Like special guests#In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something#Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like#'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda#Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better#I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit#And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out#Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL#SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping#Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now#Touching grass as we speak#Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind to draw it nowww
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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i am so charmed by a lumax wedding because it’s not even something max thought would happen. like she assumed weddings were something the girl makes happen and the guy puts up with. and because she had no desire for one, so there’s no reason it would happen.
among other things weddings are an exorbitant and performative show of love, max loves lucas and she doesn’t care whether or not other people know or believe this. at it’s best marriage to her has been a representation of failed dreams and at it’s worst it’s been a tool to manipulate people who need to get away to stay. maybe they will get married for the tax benefits, she thinks.
this is until max and lucas are older and living together, they’re chilling on the couch and lucas mentions his family has been asking when he’s planning to propose and if that’s something max even wants? max doesn’t care, she doesn’t plan on going anywhere, a certificate won’t change anything and she's not crazy about parties. she doesn’t ask how he feels, he brings it up, that “actually i want a wedding.”
that is saying the least, lucas wants a wedding more than anything. he loves max and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone, but he’s happy and he wants to share that with others! he wants to work with max to make marriage a positive thing to them, he wants to celebrate their love, everything they’ve been through. also, hell, he’s only human, he wants to show off! he wants to dress really cool and go to a really cool place and show the world know how awesome he and his girlfriend are. HIS WIFE!!!
most of all, lucas wants the moment near the end of the night, where the party’s getting loud and everybody wants his attention, but max asks if he wants to get out of there and he says yes. not out out, just outside the venue. it’s dark and the once booming music is now faint, they sit and catch up, complain about their families, laugh about their friends. max holds lucas’s hand and plays with his wedding ring, she whispers something sweet before asking him to dance. it’s the best part of the night and nobody will know about it but them.
suddenly max decides she wants a wedding.
#lumax#max mayfield#lucas sinclair#stranger things#to be clear i think it isn't really that max becomes excited for a wedding - i think it's more that she is incredibly touched by what it#means to lucas and wants to give that to him#i don't think she would ever be crazy about all that attention on her but she loves that it makes lucas happy and loves how much he cares#about her#and i also think lucas is aware of this. he loves weddings and the idea of being married is romantic and beautiful to him and he loves that#max understands where he's coming from and feels loved by his explination but also he knows it's something he will enjoy more and that's ok#lucas would be a very good wedding planner#also they would have this discussion then formulate oppisite plans catering to the other's love language#lucas would be like 'i'm gonna do something so private and sweet for max to propose' and max would be like 'i am going to go all out in#public to propose' and luckily max gets to hers first because it was way harder to do#nonetheless i am being cheesy ignore me
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I've seen a couple posts now talking about the concept of an AU where Vox somehow gains control over Alastor's soul/contract. While I do agree with the common take that he'd probably try to mind control Alastor or break his spirit at first, I think he'd actually get bored of that pretty quickly. Alastor's appeal is all in his personality; putting him in a situation where he just shuts down and stops giving the reactions that make him who he is would lose its novelty for Vox within a month or two.
Imo, from there I see it turning into a "gilded cage" situation. Vox sets up a nice little club for Alastor to live in; it's classy and Alastor is free to do what he pleases with it, but he cannot leave and whatever Vox says goes. It's a kind of faux freedom that's just tolerable enough for him not to go insane, but just restrictive enough that he still feels like some kind of pet. Vox isn't physically around that often, but he's always watching; Alastor's free to make his own choices, but can only chose from a small, pre-approved set of options. It's actually not too dissimilar to the situation he put his own contractees in, and Alastor loathes that fact.
#i saw a really good analysis post recently about vox as a collector#someone who doesn't break his favorite toys but puts them in a glass case instead#and that combined with this au talk#well it got me thinking#he'd put al on display for everyone to see but no one's allowed to touch him but *him*#he's up on stage all day singing for the patrons#he can pick the songs and can even go out and mingle with the customers#but he's always got to get back up there eventually. no dilly dallying.#redlady speaks#hazbin hotel#alastor#vox#radiostatic#radiosilence#onewaybroadcast#hazbin posting#it's 1 am and i feel like my ability to write coherently has dissolved into nothingness rip
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I finally watched Gift of the Night Fury and I gotta say this is my favorite characterization of Astrid ever. Like I have no hate against her she’s always just been a yeah she’s cool kinda character to me but her being so optimistic in gotnf bordering on manic is so good to me. Her trying her best to forcefully bring cheer during sad times is so entertaining and gives her the chaotic touch that I always felt her character was missing. And those moments when it’s apparent that she’s really bad at comforting people sometimes is so funny to me it makes her feel a little more real.
Also I think the art style really helped I don’t know how to explain it other than it feels like they syringe fed like two tiny droplets of Tim Burton into it - it gives all the characters a slightly insane look in their eyes favorite animation style for em yet <3
#no I don’t mean that it looks like a Tim burton animation I just have extremely specific ways of describing things#it’s a gut feeling okay leave me alone or2#also did I ever mention that their kid versions are my favorite version designs of them#well I am now#there’s just a really gremliny touch that their adult versions are missing later on#they look feral (affectionate)#gift of the night fury#httyd 1#httyd#how to train your dragon#one of my rare rambling posts#astrid hofferson#gotnf really fleshed out Astrid’s character to me#I wish she was like that all the time
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do you ship ravage and drift? you draw them a lot and they're always so touchy lol
nah. they're really touchy amicas, tho. probably because im always touchy with my friends and it just kinda rubs off on my art. ravage is my Me character so i do end up giving him traits i have. one of those is being touchy with people he cares about 🤷♂️. he's especially touchy with drift as when they were grouped together in the dead end (which is where they met in my brain), ravage spent a lot of hours curled up in drift's car alt with laserbeak and buzzsaw for shelter. that touchy aspect never really left their dynamic.
and besides,
drift/deadlock's candle has always been lit for someone else.
(plus an extra doodle of them)
#ask: anon#tf art#transformers#more than meets the eye#transformers art#maccadams#maccadam#blight rambles#drift | deadlock#drift#ravage#tf ravage#transformers ravage#mtmte#transformwrs idw#not gonna go all out on tags here#my art#good rule of thumb for me is that unless it is specifically tagged as ship then its not ship#not much of a transformers romance person in general#like there are exceptions and i DO enjoy tf ships. i am actively encouraging ppl to ask about em/about my opinions on ur otps#but my rav and drift are amicas#very TOUCHY amicas. i draw them touching a lot bc i think theyd be pretty physically affectionate with one another#they hug. they cuddle. drift carries ravage occasionally. they speak through hand simply just to feel the contact. ravage puts all his#weight on drift on bad pain days. drift does the same for him. its a big part of their dynamic. its the Trust that comes with that touch#theyre sparkbonded to each other as amicas too. like these two cant really get closer. but its not a romantic dynamic 🤷♂️#i cant stop you from seeing it that way and. im not gonna try lol. but anon asked so i figured id answer and talk a bit more about em#idk rambling in the tags
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Personally I'm choosing not to see Jey's IC Championship reign as a "hand off" ; or "transitional" ; or an obligatory "reward" —
He deserves better than his reign being "labeled".
This is all for the draw back into the Bloodline drama story. From the very beginning, this is what it was. But, also... It was to show that Jey IS capable. He showed he DOES deserve it. Showing he IS a Champion. Showing he CAN do it. He's proved he's got the fans with him. He's backed himself. He's established himself, and he's proven himself. He's always going to stick to and believe - "hard work will always pay off."
Of course Roman and Jimmy weren't going to interfere. Jey would've been absolutely livid if they did. He doesn't want them 'tainting' his reign. He wants it on his own merit. To earn it himself. Even if that means loosing. He sure as heck isn't going to go back to the old ways of the Bloodline retaining their championships; Roman's way of remaining Champ, and retaining.
This could possibly push him over the edge, making him desperate, scratchy, scrappy and scrambling even. He's now got *rage*; a bone to pick with the Bloodline 2.0. How's it going to tie in with the OG Bloodline? Even if they have the same goal now - taking down baby brother Solo? Is it going to be "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" type of situation? Or, like I mentioned in my previous post, "fix/heal what's between us" before we try and fix the outside — then we "fix" the outside together?
Having one over them, with the title was one of the things that gave Jey the confidence to say -Screw you. Right now, I am better than you, I've got the credibility- Now that he doesn't have that (not that he needs it) is he going to be a little more susceptible...
This IS the reaction they (wwe) wanted -
Outrage and desperation seeping into us. The fury, rage and disappointment so palpable. Our hearts beating with heated anger, inflamed with a certain kind of sadness. It has us aching for him, backing him more than ever before. He's made to suffer and all we want to do is pick him up and make sure he's okay, and he's given the best. Hold his hand and walk with him into a bright and better future filled with greater things.
All I can say is that he's got another level of support after this ridiculous travesty, the support has only grown; strengthen, heightened, deepened, intensified, and cemented to an even greater degree.
#Jey Uso#Jimmy Uso#Roman Reigns#Roman has convinced himself Jey wants nothing to do with them. And he's right.#Jimmy was flat on the ground dragged and beaten. He probably couldn't have helped even if he wanted to.#Jey wouldn't have wanted that anyway. But he's MAD NOW. And Solo and his posse better watch out.#I don't think Jey is going to be stuck in the Bloodline and go back to being Roman's sidekick. sorry. right-hand man forever.#I'll be honest. I hate that they gave us a taste only to brutally yank it away from us. He better go onto bigger and better things.#Something satisfying. captivating. gripping. brilliant. touching. stirring. fulfilling and with FEELING.#I know I'm asking for a lot. But I'm not. Okay I am. But. I'm really not.#He honestly doesn't NEED a reward (although they are wonderful) OR to PROVE himself.#He's been on top of the game for at least *10 YEARS* now in wwe. He's one half of the 'greatest tag-team'...#...I feel like THAT in itself is the prize. THAT in itself is the honor.#IC Championship#The Bloodline#OG Bloodline#The Bloodline 2.0#Solo Sikoa#wwe
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Okay I have two very different anons in my inbox right now on the OC face claim issue. I’ve read both, and I’m just gonna address you both here:
1. No one OWNS a face claim. I have RPed in spaces where everyone was using a face for something (so many people using Holliday Granger and Elle Fanning for Helaena omg save me). It’s just a thing. They’re resources. The only thing we own is the character we’re writing. We do not own actors or musicians or whomever is being used to portray our character.
HOWEVER
2. When it comes to creating your OC, you should follow some courtesy. Do you see someone all over your dash using Freya Allen for, say, a Daemyra daughter? Then you would probably want to find another actor to portray your take on a Daemyra daughter. Not only are there a million faces out there, but it also helps you, the OC creator, from any weird comparison feelings, as well further separating your concepts from others.
When I was creating Myranda Greyjoy initially, I knew that there was another OC creator out there who also had a Greyjoy x Aemond situation going on (since Myra was going to initially end up with Aemond). I went and tracked down that creator’s old gifsets to ensure that I hadn’t accidentally lifted the name as well as making sure that the face I had chosen was different enough. Since we were both exploring a similar concept, I wanted to make sure I was differentiating myself from the other person.
I’m definitely new to the OC tumblr world, mostly because this wasn’t much of a thing back in the day, and I’m only vaguely familiar with all the history there. I don’t really play around in it that much, but here’s the thing: both the above truths can coexist because people are human. If someone were to use Isolda as one of Lyonel Strong’s daughters, that’s fine! It only becomes weird if say the other person was lifting character traits and things like that. Then THAT becomes a little more 👀
But I don’t own Isolda’s face, and it’s up to ME to be normal about that! Apparently she’s a popular face for Sansa Stark now! Good for her!
The point is: be courteous and mindful of the space you operate in. There’s a ton of Strong Bastards and Stark daughters using Adelaide Kane. There was a ton of Whatshername from TLK that was being used everywhere. You’re going to have overlap, but the use of the same face is not theft.
@selfproclaimedunicorn and I were both using Rose Williams for our own OCs (her for Lara Mormont and me for Myranda). Like it’s no biggie! We were also both using Isolda (her for a Reyne girl and me for Abby).
Totally different concepts. Different ‘roles’ if you will for that face claim.
Whenever I see Isolda on my dash I’m like ‘oh that’s Abby!’ Cause that’s my girl now. She’s Abby in my head.
Anyway, I can only speak for myself. I don’t think people should be nervous about asking about a face reference, but you should always be polite about it! If you’re messaging someone about the actor, compliment their gifset or post you saw, and then ask. Don’t just know on someone’s door and go ‘hey whose the face you’re using’ cause as a creator, that would make me feel sad that you had nothing nice to say about what I made.
#it’s not even 8am omg you guys#anyway I think fandom has a really big worry on theft and copying#and that term is thrown around very loosely#I think because people who HAVE been copied from#then get nervous and that sort of understandable nervousness#then spreads out among mutual group#at the end of the day we are responsible for our feelings#and doing our own check ins of ‘is this person ACTUALLY copying me or am I feeling sensitive about things right now?’#and often it’s us feeling kinda sensitive and it’s a good reminder to go touch some grass and do something else for a bit
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.
I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)
On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)
Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.
I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.
Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.
I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.
But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.
But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.
And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.
But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)
I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.
But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.
The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.
And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.
God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱
#sorry anon this is very much non con silv thinks about fandom and emotions and processes on main#there's a boy who has harry energy although more spoiled and sarcastic and this is delightful as i do actually think#which also i got a rude anon about once#that harry is not as nice as eveyone thinks#i think hes professional as fuck definitely#but i think hes a sarky little perfectionist and this delights me#but chemistry with everyone - thats the harry curse and blessing and the **** ****** one#sorry anon i know this was annoying#but i genuinely just really needed to get this out of me and acknowledge it all#fandom and fandom participation is something that is so important to us all#otherwise why would we have a little blog#let alone create posts of fic or gifs or edits#and god last year i said multiple times to shifty that i wished i had a fandom that i could wallow in as a happy place distraction#its very nice to feel engaged and delighted by something#i hope we can still be mates#i am a popstars and radio dj lover for life#i didn't even touch on teams i like and players and such cos not the point#tw: cancer#tw: death#tw: weight loss#sorry! i should have added those tw before!
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Thinking about that time when a popular artist was a prick to me personally (claimed that I "baited" them for a conflict when all I did was pointing out something in lore contradicting their claim, without any rudeness or condescension, and basically told me to go hang out with other autists instead of bothering them) but the reason I blocked them was not that, it was the fact that they've admitted on not even caring about the source material and just using scraps from it to do their own thing. Priorities hfngkfngj
#fandomry rambles#I can excuse asserting ego at my expense and acting as though my knowledge of lore is an offence but-#-I draw the line at taking advantage of an IP to get attention easier instead of 'just making an OC'#there is a line between creative liberties and not caring about source material!!! they are not the same thing!#and FANdoms are places for FANs of something! not for some pricks to advertise themselves!#again I just pointed out something that seemed like honestly forgetting or not knowing#and I instantly commented on how alternative they suggested wasn't bad and how it could still work!#but because they have super frail ego they perceived it as a personal attack apparently#and since Anna unblocked me right after to stalk me it just feels like they mocked me within their group later#again I wonder why popular artists with high skill but very little care for canon are SO insecure?#everyone admires them everyone wants to be their friend everyone draws fanart of their designs and ships#and yet slight event out of the line makes them turn into that one Wojack with a crying face behind smug mask#like how do you shovel notes and have more attention than what you can give back and STILL are this-#-insecure? really popularity can't heal you#if you fellow nobody artists feel as though your art being noticed would heal you: no it would not#honestly as for care for canon they already gave signal by boasting about prettyfying micolash because-#-they preferred 'aesthetic'#it is just something I've neglected because I was looking at redesigning characters differently#but seeing awful bimbo marikas for two years taught me better ngl#really I am dying to see them try to pull this one out with a female character#no really. try to pull the 'she looks ugly but I want me aesthetic so I polished her'.#hate double standards regarding drawing the character depending on their gender#but yeah in case you could not tell touching Bloodborne with ten yards stick just triggered a bad memory#I just.... I still love that game story and characters. I can feel it looking at these posts.#I really am the 'just make an OC' person#they should become friends with Eugene (champion of not caring for the source material) if not already
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The..
#just. a quick detour. i promise...........#i def overestimate how much i can draw in a day though esp like. right now. i was feeling slightly better some improvement#and it def. gave me hubris. i feel rough now LMFAOOO 😭😭😭#but i still ... have so much more to draw... so much more to say.........#i love.. that big smile on moe though... i feel like it's a bit of a rare expression.#just really really bright and unbridled.#i also kinda had doubts about alfonse's expression here but like. i feel like it works?#even if it seems a little out of character for him? the key here. is that this is a bit of a rare expression too.#ESP combined w the touch like you KNOW how particular i am about touch for BOTH of them#so like. something is happening here. something is very much happening here.#but given sharena and anna's reaction it does not seem to be the first time....#i was gonna describe what i was going for w alfonse but maybe i will leave that up to you...#see if. i got it right LMFAOOO like what i was aiming for#any which way. dies so cutely#moe tag#fe alfonse#sharena#fe anna#summoner oc#my art
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