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scooptroopfanfic · 7 months ago

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Cas with a C CH 8

Note: Please go to the Cas with a C Chapter Select to see previous chapters and story warnings. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Summary: The beginning of Cassie's life post Starcourt Mall

For the next week or so after the Starcourt Mall incident, people started to slowly let their guard down again around Cassie. For the most part, they kept her on bed rest and away from people. Well according to them. During that time Cassie kept Eddie tucked away and out of sight when he visited. He was planning for the final session of the summer campaign he ran for his friends who stayed in town. Cassie goes through all the lines he wants her to say and acts to make sure it is perfect.

“So you railroaded them into this type of ending huh?” Cassie says with a hint of sadness in her voice. She is going to be playing a long-lost wife of the main ally of the story who thought after the amount of time she was missing that she died. Turns out she was held hostage elsewhere, cursed, and will unfortunately only reunite with him in either his death or her death. Eddie looks offended.

“No. They just failed all the rolls they needed to piece things together. You watched sweetheart.” He says as their hands locked together as they lean in the same direction as Eddie’s notebook. At this, Cassie turns a bit red and Eddie looks away. “Sorry. I guess the whole acting as a couple thing kind of slipped through there for a second.”

“No. I mean I don’t mind.” Cassie says with a laugh. She can hear his thoughts going everywhere even without having to focus on racing.

He makes an odd noise out of his mouth, but it seems pretty happy and normal for the guy according to Cassie. “Well in my opinion they still get three chances. One before the fight, one at the beginning of the fight, and one right before the end of the fight. Some people may think to do checks then especially if you play up being my dear and loving partner well enough darling.” She says with a wink. Eddie laughs at this as he writes in his notebook he uses for DM ideas. “If only you were this devoted to your studies.”

“Then we wouldn’t be graduating together Harrington.” At this Cassie gags.

“I’m not my father or my brother. I’m Cassie. The last time I was called Harrington was by Hargrove. If you want to go for something people find odd just call me Cas. I used to beat the snot out of people who did in elementary school.”

“I forgot about the pigtailed terror! That was you!”

“Yup! Never lost a fight. Never have and never will.” She says as she does her best impression of Rosie the Riveter.

“How did I forget about that?” He seems genuinely shocked.

“Because King Steve was more of a terror and made me look like a saint. Hairspray flamethrowers and all went away when big brother Steve came knocking. Sometimes with a bat.”

“Jesus I forgot about Chrissy’s hair. How were you not expelled for that?”

“Harrington money.” She says with a dry laugh.

“Remind me not to anger either of you two fluffy-haired people.”

“You mean majestic maned? I mean he uses the same brands I do to keep his style and shape.”

“Wait what?!”

“Eddie!” Cassie hears the thundering of footsteps coming up the stairs as she quickly shoves him into the closet and uses her powers to hide all signs of him. Suddenly Robin busts in with a frying pan at the ready and gives out her best battle cry.

“Robin! All good. No code reds.”

“But I heard a noise in here.” At this point, Nancy walks in and notices the stacks of movies and books that Cassie didn’t think to hide.

“Robin, I'll handle this.”

“But what if she-“ Nancy gives her a look and Robin who doesn’t know any better scampers off.

“Look. We don’t really know each other really well Cassie but if you want to have a boy over you have to hide it better. Steve would have noticed immediately. Like seriously who leaves out the books and movies you guys are watching.” She then looks over the pile. “Seems like you Harrington’s have a type and that is brainy,” Nancy says as she grabs a Lord of the Rings book which has a ton of little post-it notes sticking out of it. Cassie opens her mouth to protest but Nancy continues as she looks under the bed. “I mean I find it cute that he decided to visit you after the fire. I mean really. It shows he cares.”

“He is a friend.” Cassie then blocks the closet door with her body as Nancy tries to open it.

“Jonathan and I were “just friends” after me and your brother broke up and now look at where we are. He was a sweet awkward guy who worked his way into my heart. While I may no longer be in a relationship with your brother I still have a vested interest in seeing who finally got past the icy exterior.” Cassie is only so good at playing defense on the door and eventually, Nancy breaks through and spots the terrified Eddie Munson who is trying to make himself as small as possible. He then gives the most unsure and awkward wave imaginable as he slowly walks out.

“Surprise…. Please do not tell my brother. He already knows someone drops me off from work sometimes but nothing more. If he found out more I would have iron bars on my window.” She says as she grabs his hand as she stands next to him. Nancy still seems to be processing the fact that the town’s princess is at least friends with the town freak.

“Steve is going to kill you.”

“More accurately him but thank you for that Nancy. Now please do me and Eddie here a favor and don’t let Steve know. Please.” Cassie puts on her best pleading face and Eddie looks very confused and concerned.

“Fine. I won’t tell them, but if they ask I am not going to��lie about it.”

“Deal,” Cassie says as she rests her head on Eddie’s shoulder. “Now can we please get back to planning our nerdy stuff? Eddie here has a reputation to uphold.”

“Ok.” She says a bit drawn out still weirded out as she shuts the door and Cassie immediately locks it.

“Thank god it was Nancy and not Steve.”

“Why is this a good thing?” Eddie asks, a bit skittish and heading closer to the window.

“Because Nancy will keep our secret. Not like she can post things like that to her paper. She is more into exciting stories anyway. Things with real weight. We are just two nerds.” Eddie opens his mouth to protest as he gets in his DM voice but Cassie proceeds to point to the game he was planning, the books and movies he bought, and the character sheets for her character and Eddie’s. “Two nerds. Your ‘freak’ persona doesn’t erase that.”

“Fine. I guess you win.” He keeps the DM voice as he says this.

“Like I said. Never. Lost. A. Fight.” Cassie says with a smirk as she pats where he is sitting next to her on her bed which the boy immediately flops down on and they continue to work out the encounter.

Eventually, Steve couldn’t come up with any more excuses to keep her inside on bed rest after two weeks in her room so Cassie was finally allowed to leave on the condition that she take it easy. Cassie rolls her eyes as she loads up her backpack with her notebooks, snacks, and when Steve isn’t looking, drinks. She slightly sticks out her tongue in concentration as she remembers where Steve hides his stash of beer and grabs a pack.

“Hey!” Steve comes barreling around the corner as Cassie zips up her backpack and hauls it out of the house. In the driveway is one of Eddie’s DND buddies and he waves as she runs out, but his eyes go wide as he sees Steve Harrington running out after her. She quickly throws herself through the open car window and screams at him to drive. The dude quickly hits it in reverse and takes off as Cassie pulls herself fully into the car as they see Steve get smaller and smaller.

“I thought I was going to die.”

“Oh, you were if he caught us,” Cassie says with a laugh. “So you know how Eddie claims he has to fight a dragon every time he needs his princess voice. Well, you have met the dragon.”

“Jesus.”

“Tell me about it. A bit of an overkill for a six-pack.” Cassie says as she sighs in relief that the beers didn’t burst in her bag.

“We did all of that for beer???”

“Better than stealing it from someone who actually cares. Steve is just upset that I did what he never had the guts to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“Swipe it right in front of someone and get away.” She says with a laugh as she places it next to her as she buckles up. She pats the shoulder of the kid she would later learn is named Gareth.

When Cassie and Gareth get to Jeff's basement Eddie laughs as he sees Gareth looking like he is crapping his pants as Cassie plops down her share of snacks and beers.

“I see you met the ferocious dragon,” Eddie says as he tries to make himself look beastly.

“Yep.” Cassie says popping the p. “And he was breathing fire this time.”

“Ooh. Nice one Gareth. Thank you for picking up the princess for me.”

“Never again.”

“Fair enough brave knight. It is not a journey for the weak of heart.” Cassie says, trying to imitate Eddie. Eddie seems to appreciate it as he laughs at Gareth’s confused look.

“I’d say. Last time I went there the dragon took flight for many miles and we had to lose him on the roads near Lovers Lake.”

“I never thought the King would be…”

“Like that? Welcome to having a big brother.” Cassie says with a sigh but claps her hands together as she plops herself down on the bean bag next to Eddie’s DM chair and sets up. “But let’s move on and actually make this worth it and play. I want to see how this finally ends.”

After Gareth has had enough time and a beer to shake off the rest of the boys gather around the table each with their beers in hand. Jeff offers her one and Eddie almost objects until Cassie reaches out and grabs it taking a swig. Eddie seems shocked as the rest of the boys cheer. Cassie is trying not to cough.

“Relax Eds. I’ve had a beer before. We talked about this.”

“I thought you were a little Miss Goody Two Shoes.”

“Pigtailed terror.”

“But all those words back at the bookstore-“

“Quite simply I thought you were an ass and I just wanted to prove you wrong.” Eddie looks offended. “Hey, you thought I was pretty little princess Harrington who was one of the popular kids who didn’t give a crap about any of this.” He then reluctantly nods at the statement and gestures to her to take a drink which she takes a smaller one this time. Just because she has drank in the past doesn’t mean she can handle the fizz. She winces a bit as she settles back. “Now let’s play some D&D.” The boys cheer as Eddie stands up menacingly.

And it seems to be with good reason. Cassie has remained silent but is a looming threat to the other players as they try and figure out what role she has to play in the web of the story that Eddie is weaving. Eddie leads forward the charge toward the final boss encounter with his NPC.

“The monster who killed my wife is just past this corridor and-“ At this point, Cassie places a hand on Eddie’s mouth with a glint in her eyes. The other members of Hellfire look terrified at the girl who silenced their leader.

“And up ahead in the dark, you can feel something. Lurking. You then hear the slow scraping of the claws of the beast on the ground. As you and your companions look around, that is when you see the monstrous beast in front of you!” Cassie then slams down her character on the table as Eddie sets up the other enemies. “Welcome to your final test. Don’t die too quickly.” She says in a lower tone that even causes Eddie to pause in his movements. At this point, everyone rolls and it is game on.

You would think with this being Cassie’s first time actually having a character on the board she would be timid and die off pretty quickly, but as she takes out Jeff the others start to panic. “And as she-beast launches for you, it takes a large bite out of you and-“ Eddie and her eyes go wide as they see her crit behind the DM screen. “And you feel your life force suddenly sucked out of your body and you are down.”

“WHAT?! What is this thing?” Doug freaked out as Cassie recovered and smirked.

“As you watch your friend drop, the creature shifts forms.” At this point, Cassie switches out her figure to something slowly becoming humanoid. “But it still hungers.”

“We have to kill this thing quickly before it kills again.” Eddie cries as his character charges up to grapple with the creature. Gareth then looks at Cassie and Eddie for a second like he is trying to read them.

“Is there any way I could roll to figure out the identity of the creature?” This causes Eddie to do a few long blinks.

“Intelligence check. Just going to let you know this will be a difficult roll to succeed.” Eddie says with a poker face, but Cassie looks excited. Cassie gets a look in her eyes and as the dice start to roll the lights flicker for a second and Cassie’s nose bleeds causing her to reach for the tissues Eddie put by her. The die begins to slow down until it softly lands on the 20 which causes Eddie and Cassie to look at each other in amazement as the other boys look on in excitement.

“Well. I didn’t see this one coming.” Eddie says as he looks down at the dice. He then sees the bloody nose and looks at her in suspicion.

“Suddenly as you look at the new form it seems to remind you of a portrait you have seen before. The one in the household of your dear new companion the monster hunter.” Cassie improvises and hopes Eddie will approve/go along.

“Oh shit it is the wife.”

“What are you talking about? This monster killed my wife.”

“No, this monster is your wife.”

“Charisma roll… this will be an easy roll,” Eddie says as he passes a paper to Cassie. Her eyes scan over the paper and she blushes a bit but nods subtly. Doug rolls for it and when the die clanks onto the wooden table it reveals an 11. Cassie looks at Eddie with confusion but he nods to her.

“As the hunter slowly scans the face of the creature a flicker of recognition shows in his eyes as they look down to notice familiar markings that can be found on his wife.”

“Eliza! Eliza, can you hear me? You need to fight this!” Eddie exclaims as he shifts the mock grapple he had earlier to Cassie’s shoulders to try and shake her awake. Cassie hesitates for a second before she slams down a pretty feminine figure onto the board.

“After a few moments, the creature shifts again. This time to the familiar face of the wife.” Cassie says in her narrator's voice before she keys in her vocal cords again. “Hello? Who’s there?” Cassie asks.

“Can you not see that it is I, my dear?” Eddie asks.

“No. I can’t see. I can only smell the gore. Your pleasant smell. It’s gone.” Eliza says as she wanders around blind. Eddie then rolls his eyes before grabbing her hand.

“Well then let me guide you out of here.” At this point, the other members of the party look into the scene in shock. Eddie then takes over as he guides the boys back to the manor of his character. They start tying up loose ends in the campaign and Eddie continues with his condescending tone of a noble that he adopted for his character. Cassie and Eddie are still holding hands as the evening draws to a close.

Eddie offhandedly mentions that the husband and wife kiss and Jeff laughs.

“So that’s the one line huh?” At this Cassie and Eddie look at each other. Cassie’s heart races a bit and she can feel her cheeks redden. Cassie then shrugs as Eddie goes wide-eyed as she quickly and gently gives him a peck on the cheek. Eddie seems to just go off into his own mental headspace and stare intensely at the wall across from him. She can hear his thoughts going wild.

“Nope. The line is much further than that.” Cassie says with a smirk as Eddie seems to be processing. The other boys are laughing at Eddie’s reaction while Cassie’s heart rate speeds up. At this point, the duo notices they are still holding hands and violently/dramatically separate causing the boys to laugh more.

For the next hour or so between cleaning up from the session, the boys goof around as Cassie chimes in every now and then.

“So we still have that gig for this week right?”

“Bev said we should be good to go. It’s one of her fifty-cent beer nights so be ready.” Eddie says as he lays across the couch just out of reach from Cassie who is still sitting tall.

“You guys are playing at the Hideout this weekend?” Cassie squints as she faintly remembers the name Bev from her time in Eddie’s memories.

“You know about Corroded Coffin?” Doug seems shocked.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you guys. Remember the Ellen Ripley?” Eddie then reaches over to ruffle Cassie’s hair up to match how it looked that night. Of course, Cassie tries to block him as he does so trying to protect her precious hair.

“Stop it, Eddie! Don’t touch my baby!” Cassie cries out as they tumble off of the couch. Cassie ends up landing on top of Eddie. Her eyes widen in surprise from the sudden rush and then the feeling of his hand ruffling her hair.

“Oh shit! You were the Alien fan?”

“Why is everyone so surprised?” Cassie whines as she tries to fix her hair. As revenge, she decides to use Eddie’s stomach as a seat looking around at the others as she plants her feet on the ground. Eddie seems content and even adjusts himself to get comfortable, with his legs still on the couch.

“You don’t seem the type.” Jeff awkwardly smiles as he watches his leader accept his fate. Cassie leans back and plants her arms on the carpet floor.

“Your friend’s female Dungeon Master voice who also is now your illustrator apparently doesn’t do nerdy shit?”

“Ok fair.” Gareth seems to get on board with nerdy Cassie quicker than the others. Probably due to the dungeon escape pre-session.

“Anywho let me know when you guys are going. I may want to listen for a bit. Seems pretty cool.”

Cassie can feel the surface emotions of the group throughout the afternoon and evening slowly turn from suspicion to a reluctant acceptance. She is relieved as she feels this and the slight tension she is keeping in her shoulders. For the first time in a while, she feels at peace. She doesn’t always have to use her powers to listen in. She can finally turn it off. For the first time in a long while she can think without hearing anyone else do the same. How is this happening? Cassie must have been making a face because Eddie quirks an eyebrow at her as he reaches onto the counter for some chips to shovel into his mouth.

Cassie was planning on leaving soon after the DND session ended, but plans changed, and early into the morning where she ended up curled up on the couch sharing a blanket with Eddie. At this point her brain is dead and she can’t process much beyond pretty colors and people on the screen. It feels nice. Not constantly on alert. She smiles to herself as she sinks into the couch and blankets, taking more for herself.

“Hey blanket hog. I want some too.” Eddie grumbles trying to steal some back.

“But I’m cold…” She mumbles sadly as she tugs at the blanket trying to keep the icy feeling away. She hasn’t felt warmth for a while and she is not going to let noodle arms take it from her. She looks at him with pleading eyes. “Please…”

“I’ll fold just this once.” Eddie then tugs at the blankets causing her to scoot closer. “Sike.”

“Ass.” She mumbles as she goes and leans on his shoulder. At least if she has to share a blanket she may as well get a pillow out of it too. She can feel nerves coming from him as he taps to an unknown rhythm with his left hand which is the one on the opposite side of her. Cassie smiles to herself as she gets cozy on his shoulder and pretends to watch the movie. In reality, she uses this first sense of peace in a while to get some proper sleep.

“Hey, Mr. Peter!” A young Cassie cries out as she runs over to the man. He has his back turned to her. His burned and tattered white outfit has slowly started to wear away. Underneath it is more corrupted-looking flesh making him look less and less human each time she visits her friend.

When she gets to the other side of him she can see his face display a look of horror.

“Mr. Peter! Wake up! The Spider put you in a nightmare again.” Cassie says as she gently shakes Peter. When she sees that isn’t working she turns around to the giant shadows in the form similar to a spider.

“Spider! Can you please let Mr. Peter out?” All she gets in response is the sound of swirling wind and particles whipping around. “I really don’t want to do that.” The particles get excited as she says this. Cassie sighs as she holds up her right hand in a sort of crushing motion towards Peter.

At first, nothing happens. She then feels a rush of power through her as she sees a few particles fly out of Peter and into her outstretched hand. They slowly start gathering and forming the cluster of a small dog. Cassie uses her other hand to keep its shape as she continues to gather more. While the rush feels amazing there is also a twinge of something… wrong.

Eventually, Cassie can draw enough away that Peter forces the rest of it out.

“Thank you, Cassandra.”

“No problem Mr. Peter.” He looks annoyed at this name but then sighs.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have school?”

“Yes, but I felt your fear and got worried. I know the Spider and you sometimes get into fights.” He then looks confused.

“You can feel that from our dimension?”

“Yeah! I mean I can kind of feel… everyone. It really hurts my head and it won’t turn off. That includes you.” Peter then looks at her for a second.

“So you lied about the reason for your arrival.”

“Not fully. I did feel your fear Mr. Peter, but sometimes the noises of people’s thoughts can be a lot so-”

“You come here for a break.” He looks at her with pity as he gently taps her head. “But that doesn’t explain how you can still be aware of me even in another dimension.”

“I think it is the Spider. I can feel things through it. Like another set of eyes and hands.” Cassie says as she gently touches what is currently a compass hidden away in her jacket. She then feels a cold knife in her brain. She sees a flash of her father appear and fear grips her heart for a moment, but then she thinks about her brother and the two of them playing basketball together while listening to music and it goes away. “Spider I am not falling for that one again.”

Younger Cassie does not see Peter wipe his nose or the scowl on his face.

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Cassie wakes up to the sound of chirping birds and snoring. When she does she jumps up, or rather attempts to before she is stopped by something. She feels a weight on her shoulder and a slight wet spot on her head as she identifies the location of her binds.

Eddie Munson. Apparently, he fell asleep during the movie too, and thought her head was the perfect little place to nap. And slightly drool on. When Cassie tries to move the deadweight stops her altogether from being able to lift her head or wiggle out. She continues to try and struggle but each time she does it feels like a boa constrictor around her tightening down on her. Eddie grumbles as she tries to move.

“Five more minutes.”

“My brother is going to kill me for staying out. He already was going to kill me for the six-pack.” She harshly whispers back. As he hears her voice he makes a panicked noise as he scrambles back trying to give her space but just ends up tumbling over the side of the couch with a soft thud.

“Shit! We gotta go!” He whispers loudly as he grabs her hand and guides them out with minimal effort, but not without a few stumbles over some randomly placed garbage on the ground making him twist around. Somehow the two succeed at not waking up the others as they creep out the door.

As Cassie and Eddie speed through Hawkins, they blast music and try to wake up.

“Is he really that bad?”

“Not if you are me, Batman.” She says as she notices the bat tattoos. She didn’t really notice before. Probably because she thought she was going to die all summer but now she can see. Like really seeing everything around her. “But for you yeah…” Cassie then looks at her shoes that she shuffles around. “Our dad kinda told us to stay away from people like you.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Not sure if it is the poor thing or…” Cassie contemplates her next word. “Family stuff, but yeah.” Cassie then sighs. “Our dad is an ass though so fuck him.” She leans over to him and puts an elbow on his shoulder. “If I would have followed that advice I would have missed out on hanging around the coolest guy ever.”

“You’re gonna make me blush Sweetheart.” He is clearly trying not to look over at her and focus on the road. “You are going to be ok right?”

“Yeah. Steve likes to sleep in late, especially when those things can’t get you in the sun easily.” She cuts herself off. “You know what. You already know that and more so.”

“I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about you and the weird magic shit.” Eddie gives a look of suspicion. “And if you are going to use it to game the system again.”

“Oh.” Cassie then laughs. “All good up here. In fact better than ever.” She then notices something. The feeling sensor she couldn’t turn off is silent again. “I don’t constantly hear thoughts and feelings anymore.”

“Did you lose your powers when they closed the gate?” Eddie says the word gate unsure. She told him things secondhand during their time together in her recovery.

“No, but I think the constant on powers may have been due to something beyond that thing. Maybe the Mind Flayer wanted to see how good my powers were or something?” Cassie shrugs as she changes the station with her powers due to the slight static. “But I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m free!’ She then leans out the window next to her and laughs as they race through Hawkins.

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When they arrive Cassie has Eddie drop her off a street away. Cassie gives a mock salute as Eddie guns it away like a bat out of hell. Cassie smiles to herself for a few moments, but as she gets closer to her house her stomach starts to twist into knots. The air around it is suffocating with fear making her queasy and almost double over. After holding her head for a few moments standing still and getting her bearing she marches on to the back of the house.

As she scrambles up to her window to open it her eyes soften as she sees her brother asleep. He has set up a corner in the room on one of the chairs she uses at her desk to study. He has his arms crossed in the usual disapproving look but his features were soft as he slept away. Tucked away next to him is his infamous bat somewhat ready to go.

Cassie uses her powers to slowly open the window and climb inside to muffle most of the sound that the break-in would cause. Unfortunately, that is not enough as she lands with a thud. Quickly Steve shoots awake and grabs the bat, trying to locate the source of the noise. When he sees his sister he gives a frustrated sigh and puts down the bat

“Jesus Christ I could have hit you with this thing Cassie! Where the hell have you been?”

“Out.”

“Out where? I called everyone and no one threw a party where there was beer last night.”

“Eww. You sound like Mom.” Cassie throws her backpack next to her bed and sits down in it.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. What if there is another weird thing happening and I don’t know where you are.”

“I’ll be fine. I can handle myself, Steve.” She puts her hands on her hips in a sort of power pose. “Besides, while you were dealing with Russians my friends and I were handling the weird ass possessed people.”

“What?” Steve looks at her shocked as she realizes she didn’t actually talk about her experiences over the summer with him.

“Shit, I really didn’t want to go into this Steve.” She sighs like she is letting out a breath of air she had been holding in. “But you forced my hand. That night my friend and I went to the movies we got jumped. By the hoard. If I didn’t get the knife and cut us free we could have been one of those things, Steve. When I say I get it trust me when I say I do. I can handle myself.” She digs into her bag and fishes out the switchblade she used to cut her and Eddie free. “But we got nothing to worry about Steve. The gate is closed. That thing is gone. We can just move on. I can be a normal-ass high school and when I graduate I can get the two of us out of Hawkins. Away from our parents.”

Steve looks surprised when she brings up her plans for the future. His nervous energy is still around, but it is no longer suffocating.

“You would put up with me?”

“Fuck yeah, loser. Oh yeah. You would have to be able to deal with my friend too. He is coming with.”

“He?” Cassie curses to herself as she realizes her mistake. She sits down for what she imagines is going to be a long talk from her brother. Turns out she was right.

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #oc #original character #stranger things fic #eddie #stranger things x oc #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x original character #eddie munson fanfic

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hauntingofhouses · 11 months ago

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i love being southeast asian.

despite whatever unhappy history, despite the rise of ethnonationalism and racism in our countries; despite the fact that most of us remain in the global south under the invisible thumb of western empires and conglomerates, exploited by rich expats and beg-packers; despite the conservatism, the bigotry, the pain and prejudice and the corruption.

despite all that, i love where i am from. this is my home.

my hands tenderly trace the lines of our history and find within it a colourful collection of influences that continue to shape us until today:

the native malays, javanese, sundanese, minangkabau, bugis, visayan, tagalog, and other dominant peoples.

alongside indigenous tribes like the iban, kadazan, sama-bajau, temuan, penan, jakun, and hundreds upon hundreds more ethnic groups.

all of us holding onto our ancestors' mysticism and spirituality and animism, the watchful gaze of legacy fixed on us as we move through an ever-changing and modernising world (and what is modernity anyway? isn't civilisation overrated?).

and then the chinese peoples. the hainanese, hokkien and cantonese and more, many of whom came here due to trade in the pre-colonial era, but then most arrived as the imported labour for the colonial powers.

but this is their home too. we live here together, and through them we all celebrate lunar new year and the mid-autumn festival. all of us give red envelopes during our many festivals. we give oranges that symbolise prosperity and ring in the year of the rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat. we hold lion dance performances in our malls and marks. we eat and exchange mooncakes.

and then the indian peoples, though mostly tamil indians from south india, but also sikhs, malayalis, and punjabis, who arrived and assimilated and spread their culture and beliefs much earlier before the pre-colonial era, causing the indianisation of southeast asia. then more indian peoples came during the colonial era, again, as imported labour, working our fields or donning the uniform of our common oppressors, kept walled away from us despite how alike we look and sound.

because truly we do sound the same. sanskrit remains an abundant source for a large chunk of our languages. i hear the vedic mantras and can pick apart words that sound familiar. hinduism and buddhism still leaves its traces in our cultures even for those of us who've shifted to islam.

and yes, islam. we're not what the west thinks of when they talk about the muslim world, but southeast asia has some of the largest muslim populations in the world. because through trade, since the medieval times, islam came here and with it brought so many arabic influences that has come to shape our languages and customs, with plenty of our cultures having since been morphed around islamic beliefs and ideas. in malaysia and indonesia and brunei (and perhaps even certain parts of the philippines) you'll find a mosque or a prayer room everywhere you go. and every ramadan millions of us fast, every eid all of us dress up and visit each other's houses for feasts and festivities.

then of course came european colonisation at the hands of the portugese, dutch, british (in malaysia and indonesia's case we got all three), spanish, and french their reigns lasting over 400 years. and from them we came european culture and more new languages, english quickly becoming a second language (or even a first language) for so many of us, missionaries building churches and spreading the word of jesus christ as the son of god; with their fair features they draw a line between us and them, between the civilised and the barbarians, between the light-haired light-eyed and the unruly dark-haired dark-eyed.

and then comes world war 2 and the japanese invasion, and for most it was so brutal and violent, and for the rest it was miserable, with famine and inflation but we were forced to sing songs in japanese anyway, to watch their planes fly in the sky towards their enemies, to swallow their ideas in our parched throats.

and then the war ended and wounds began to heal, and then came the 1980s until now with all its shiny technology: nintendo, panasonic, television and anime, and now we have leagues of people learning japanese language and culture anyway, except now it is done wholeheartedly, and as it turns out japanese isn't even that different from our own cultures anyway. houses on stilts made of wood with thatch roofs, making our living from the sea and coast, eating rice for every meal, our phonetics and theirs so alike.

and today we have waves of their expats migrating here because of course they do, we're the Global South™ and for them it's cheap and affordable, so we have little japans sprouting here and there and sometimes i go to a random street and find signs written in japanese and read bits of broken hiragana.

and it's beautiful, being able to move through this world and find the handprints we've all left upon it. it's a wonderful amalgam of so many traditions and colours and beliefs and language all mixing around in this huge bubbling melting pot.

and i'm not chinese or indian or arab or british but when i see them on tv, i'm also seeing a part of me, i hear the words in their tongue and i recognise them as mine, i eat their food and know them as intimately as my own.

but of course our politicians, our kings and our prime ministers (and the divide-and-conquer rule of colonisers now gone) continue to divide us and make us hate each other, fanning flames of distrust and fear of that-which-is-different.

it's such a shame too, because it's so special. it's what makes us us, our dozens of creoles, the way we can speak a sentence comprising vernacular from at least four languages and we all understand each other anyway.

we have a word in malay, "rojak", which is also the name of a dish that mixes a bunch of different ingredients, and is found in malaysian, indonesian and singaporean cuisine. but where i'm from, we also say "rojak" to mean anything that's an eclectic mixture of things, things that seemingly don't go together and aren't necessarily pleasing to the eye but still, somehow, it works, in fact it tastes good, spicy and flavourful and hearty.

and that's us: southeast asia, all of it, a beautiful rojak culture. and it's ours.

#writeblr #people of color #writers on tumblr #writers of color #writing #southeast asia #asian culture #i woke up today and started feeling so many things. i looked around and felt full of love.#but i go on social media and it makes me angry and sad to see how much everyone hates each other #my love is not for what it is but what it could be #lots of my friends wish they could leave. emigrate to australia or UK or US. but even if i could i wouldn't.#this is my home. there is nowhere else.#when i was teaching and i saw those kids' faces it cemented it for me even more.#like if not for anything else i'll stay. i'll do it for them. carve out a community for them. for us.#shut up haydar #scribblings.txt

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spaceaudyssey · 1 month ago

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It's time for me to talk about my experience on my birthday and at the Fontaines DC Concert on 10/18 in Washington DC

This is gonna be extreeeemely long because I have so much to say and I want to write it down to remember. The concert part of the story I will make very obvious.

I found out in May that they were going to be in Washington DC on my Birthday. I live 3 and a half hours away from there. I don't know if I would have been fully set on going if it wasn't on my Birthday, but since it was I HAD to go. I had only just become a fan of theirs last winter, but I was already so invested in this band for some reason. They had everything that I had been searching for in a band. So I asked my husband, if he could buy the tickets for me as a birthday present.

And it was all I thought about for months, because I was that excited for it

So on the day of, we drove to the DC area in the morning. Check in, to our hotel, wasn't until 3:00 so we killed time at Tysons Corner Mall. I didn't see anything there worth buying, but time did fly by. We went and got a late lunch At Kura sushi in Tysons. It's a rotating sushi place. That was a lot of fun. I've never been to one of those before. I got a pop socket for my phone from the little prize thing you get when you take an x number of plates or whatever. So cool

Then we stopped at the hotel to check in and take a nap because we are in our 30s. I probably could have stayed up the whole time but hubby was worried about it so we napped. The concert wasn't until 10pm.

Got up around 6 and got ready for the concert. I had made a shirt for the concert. It's in another post on my page somewhere. Then we made the walk down to the venue. We were going to drive initially but since the hotel has valet parking, we couldn't really get the car back until we check out. The walk wasn't too bad.

So, here's the thing (that was intended) I was expecting it to be how it was last time I went to a concert at the 9:30 club, where people stood in line and it was generally quiet everywhere else. I was wrong. Howard University had their homecoming weekend the same weekend as the concert. I thought it was just an event at a building somewhere when I first heard about it, but no, it was exactly what it was, students coming back to school and going out on the town. So a good number of food places and such were packed, and there were people everywhere. Which is totally fine, college students have every right to be out and have fun, it was just unfortunate that the concert was that weekend. BUT the food place right next door to the venue looked like it had some space there to eat so we went there. We shared a bowl though, because we were not that hungry, but we knew we needed to eat something. I got a beer because I needed to calm my nerves down. I was wondering if I would casually spot the band somewhere, as they tend to go to pubs and such before a show, but on this busy night, I doubt it.

After we were done, we could see people lining up for the concert so we got out and stood in line. While we were waiting, a car on the street ran into a guy on a bike. We heard a loud crash sound(?, hard to explain, it was like a thud, but a car thud?) and ambulances came. People stood around the guy but we couldn't see him because the car was in the way. From what I heard I think he was okay, alive at least. There were some people in front of us that were talking, and then we hear, "wait, this isn't the line for the so-n- so concert (can't remember the guys name now) ? I guess the two girls in front of us thought this was the line for the concert for the previous show, and didn't realize it was the line for fontaines. So they left the line, and we stood behind this other couple in line. They looked like they had left from work to come here, but not in a bad way, they dressed professionally almost, with nice coats and all. But I also think that's general DC vibes, as most work government jobs. The dude had an English accent. They both were very nice. I had a headband in my hand that said "it's my birthday" in it. It was silver. A woman walking down the street walks by and sees it in my hand and asks if it was my birthday, and I say yeah, and she says "happy birthday!!! ". It caught me off guard, because I wasn't wearing it and forgot it was in my hand. The couple I front heard and wished me happy birthday as well.

The English guy said that it was nice that I got to see them on my birthday, and that they were a great band. And I was like "yeah! I just discovered them last year on tik Tok, and I thought they were really good!!!". The Woman said "oh okay, yeah, Grian (she pronounced it like "Bryan" 😂) Chatten has something weird going on that just does it for me (not sure if those were the exact words but you get the point) I'm into whatever it is". I go "yeah!" Because I get what shes saying about weird, but like a good weird, hard to explain (especially his movements on stage, but it works). And her boyfriend goes "she wants to have s*x with him". I can't remember if he said something like he was okay with that but he said it jokingly. I laugh pretty loud, because, what a thing to say to people you don't know!!! Haha. But it was funny.

All the while I'm trying not to think about peeing, because I had to pee really bad. The beer hit me in the bladder too soon, and we had some time left before the doors opened.

Doors finally open and the line moves and we see people huddled around with their phones at some guy, who ended up being the guy that played before our concert, as the woman in front of me let me know.

The concert

I ran to the bathroom inside, had a long good pee, and went to see if the front row was taken and it of course was (curse my bladder!) but I did get pretty close so that was nice. Hubby went to get me the shirt and patches I wanted and a beer. I ended up standing near a guy that was behind us. He looked to be in his late 40s at least. I was wearing my headband this time, and we had a short conversation about how lucky it was I got to see them on my birthday. I replied with the thing I said at the very beginning of this post about how I HAD to go. He said he never gets to go to a concert on his b day because his was Jan 2nd or something. And that's the time of year where basically nothing happens because it's after the holidays. I told him at least he can get some sales on stuff, to be positive.

Hubby comes back with the goods, and as we are nearing close to the first band starting, a girl in front of me waves her boyfriend to come up, and it's this really tall dude. He stands right in front of me, so I can't get a great view of the stage. So I'm moving my head around while the first band plays. Ben Stellar was good, but I think I have to listen to their songs on streaming first, before I can make a clear decision. I think it helps to sometimes listen to the studio version first to fully understand the live version, as I couldn't fully hear some of the lyrics. They get off the stage and then tech people get up to move stuff and check things. I finally found a spot to see the band better. I'm getting excited. Some other girl wishes me happy birthday and it was her brother's birthday as well, so I wished him happy birthday because he was there too.

Curly, Tom and Deego get on first and start playing the beginning of Romance. Then Carlos gets on. Based on a video I have of him, on that night, he had sunglasses on and sat in his chair to mess with the machine (whatever it's called), and he looked like he could be tired, but I think we may have mistook that for him just trying to look coooooool. At some point Grian starts singing and everything is going as usual for their typical concert. Energy is flowing. By the second song people start shoving each other around but it wasn't a full on mosh. I wasn't sure if anything like that was going to happen or not but I decided to take my chances with it instead of going up to the balcony. I did see the couple from before up there though.

At first it was jarring, since I've never been to a concert where they did that, but afterwards it felt oddly....idk... comforting??? I don't think that's the word. But as I was staring at Grian while he sang, I felt like I was being swallowed in a living breathing crowd. My hand was out trying to reach for something or someone that probably wasn't going to reach back, but we were all moving in unison back a fourth, right and left, being squished and being bumped, all to the same song, and we probably all had the same feelings when listening to the greatness of this music. It felt both dangerous and safe at the same time. Very strange

I think next time, I'll go to the balcony 😜

Then the third song comes on (or maybe the second is where this happens) and they stop in the middle of it because of "technical difficulties", and they had to leave the stage to get it fixed. I personally thought it all sounded fine so I didn't know what they were on about. It probably lasted around 10 ish minutes. A woman in front of me sees my headband and asks if it's my birthday and I say yes, then asks for my name and I tell her. She then proceeded to tell her friends and other people around her that it was my birthday and that she wanted them to help her sing happy birthday. She goes "okay everyone, ready, one two three!" And they all start singing happy birthday. Everyone else who didn't get the memo turned to stare at them and me, maybe some of them also joined in(?). But I was shocked that someone would go out of their way to actually tell people it's my birthday, and sing it, just to make my day a little extra special. They were sooo sweet for doing that. All I could do was just awkwardly stand there with a grin on my face. I told them thank you and I asked what the woman's name was. It was like Era or Erin or something, it was really hard to hear over other people talking. But we had a short conversation about crowds at concerts and her experience at a dropkick Murphys concert.

Not long after that, Curly came back on stage to announce that Carlos was not feeling well and wouldn't perform for the night. But they would try to play as many songs as they could for us. I was bummed, but also didn't know what they could or couldn't play without him. Also when they said it was technical difficulties, it was because Carlos had walked off stage, during the song, which I didn't see happen because my view of the sides were blocked by 2 gentlemen. Anyway, they called up a guy named Griffin ( who is actually a Richmond VA local) to help them play Boys in the Better Land. He did a good job. I always like it when they give young guitarists a chance to play that song for them. So far I think it's happened at least 3 times. He's pretty lucky. I know they played Life Ain't Always Empty, I Love You, Televised Mind Bug, Big Shot? And Big maybe??. But no Starburster or much else off of their new album which is fine. I prefer Skinty Fia more anyway. But it all ended up being a 40ish minute set.

At some point in all of that, they did announce that it was Tom Coll's (the dummer) Birthday! I was like waaaaat?? That's so cool I share a Birthday with the drummer! Being my hyper self, I tried to yell out It's my birthday too! But hubby was like "shh don't, it's fine, they don't need to know" . So we all sang happy birthday to him.

There was no encore. After the last song they said cheers and left. And so did we. I did hear some people screaming back in the venue as we were leaving though, and I'm not sure what that was. We just chucked it off to people just being dramatic. There also was an ambulance outside. Some said it was for Carlos, but others have said that somebody got punched during a song, and so it was for that.

We walked back to the hotel, and found out that we lost the patches in the crowd somewhere because it was missing. And I lost a gibbit stud on my silver Mary Jane stomper Crocs. Oh well. Still got my shirt though.

Coming back from it all, I can't say I feel overly disappointed with the concert that night. The band had to do what they had to do. I think Carlos really wasn't feeling well, as he ended up being able to play for the next show the following night. If anybody went to the 10/19 one, y'all are lucky mfers. I do think that speculating that he was being a diva or that he was on drugs is not helpful and very divisive. I like to hear about drama like any other person, but we gotta learn to stop spreading rumors. I hope that Carlos is at least getting some time for him to breathe and y'know be mindful and whatnot. Constantly being on Tour can take a toll on your body and mind.

But I do think what made my night, and helped make light of the situation, was all of the nice people I briefly met at the concert. The amount of love that was given to me by complete strangers was astounding. Thanks to all who were there and wished my happy birthday in some way. What a way to turn 33!

And I REALLY hope to see Fontaines DC again. They better come back around. Hopefully somewhere closer to me than DC. Sorry this was so long, but if you read all of this, then you're a real one!

#fontaines d.c.#Fontaines DC #9:30 club #spice boys #grian chatten #tom coll #birthday twins #my birthday #Washington DC #Carlos O'Connell

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anewnewcrest · 1 year ago

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From Priscilla Sawyer's Simtube

HONEYMOON IN SULANI: Romantic getaway to get to know each other

Our long flight went very well, and we've finally arrived at our beach rental house on Sulani! It's so exciting to be here, I've never been away from the greater San Myshuno area before, and I just love how different everything is! The ocean is everything I've ever dreamed about and more, and I love smelling the salt and hearing the seagulls when I fall asleep, and when I wake up...! And of course, my lovely husband is beside me every waking moment, and we're finally enjoying marital intimacy! I truly have married my best friend, and I'm so excited to get to know him better every day!

Reality...

"Don't you want to join me sunbathing, Max?"

"Ugh... it's so hot! I'll get sunburnt! And we don't even have air conditioning because this shack is so open-concept!"

"Get in, Max! It's a private beach, nobody will see us!"

"But... it's so wet!"

"That's entirely the point, jump in!"

"And all those critters in there... ew. I'd rather stay out!"

"Making hearts in the sand is so cute! I love the beach!"

"But the sand gets everywhere!"

"It's a beach..."

"It chafes! My privates! I'll go inside!"

"Don't they have real food here? I want some Watcher chicken!"

"They're barbecuing pork, that sounds nice, doesn't it?"

"It's from the same grill as GRILLED FRUIT! Who does that? I want normal food! Food that's not spicy!"

"Max, that's pepper."

"This bridge will crumble any moment!"

"I'm sure it's fine... and it'll look great on Simstagram!"

"This place is horrible, and the humidity is off the charts, let's go to the mall. They have malls around this place, don't they?"

"Uh... I think so. And we can get you something nicer to wear, something stylish...!"

"I look awesome, don't I? Do you think it's too early in the day for some Woohoo?"

"..."

"What do you think? You look very pretty!"

"Max, why are you wearing SOCKS with that?"

"Well, I have to keep the sand out somehow, don't I?"

#sawyerfamily #maxwell and theresa #maxwell jr and priscilla #a new newcrest #gen 2 #spring3 #fundie sims #fundie simblr #ts4 fundie #sims 4 fundie #sims 4 legacy #quiverfull sims

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mfmilligan · 1 year ago

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In the Midst #3

I’m currently at the Outskirts Gas Station. Yes, it’s a bit wimpy of me to choose the place farthest away from town to explore. But after the weird stuff back at the Pink Mall, I’ll go easy on myself today.

It’s pretty out here…although it’s still a bit uncanny to me. The grass on these rolling hills is too perfect and the bright blue sky seems artificial. It looks like a computer background with the brightness and the saturation cranked all the way up. It’s also extremely quiet out here. No underlying hiss like in town, but also no birdsong or anything. Makes me really glad I have music now, even if it is Weather Channel jazz.

As refreshing as it is, this gas station also makes me a little sad. Probably because it reminds me of all the road trips I used to go on as a kid. Mom, my siblings, and I (Dad was always too busy) would go visit cousins every summer when I was younger. With a few states between us, it meant many hours on the road. I have lots of memories of staring out the window, wondering why the land zoomed by but the sky stood still. Certain songs come to mind, knowing how many CDs we ate through. And, of course, there were all the various rest stops and gas stations along the way.

Strange…when I was younger, those kinds of places didn’t seem like they were part of the rest of the world. As if everything close to the road was a reality separate from the one where the usual patterns of life took place. You could visit and you could leave, and nothing would change once you were gone. No matter who left or what happened, those stops and stations would keep looking the same, being the same. The world could race ahead or fall apart, but these isolated places would survive in their own timeless dimension.

It certainly seems true for this gas station in this abandoned world.

Something weird, though. When I went inside to see if there were snacks, the logos on everything were – well, they were the same as the brand label on my Walkman. Letters mushed together, impossible to read. There’s enough in the colors and design to show that maybe this is Snickers and maybe this is M&Ms. But otherwise, you don’t know what you’re picking up.

Makes me wonder if it’s the same on the groceries I get at the Sweet Tomato. You’d think I’d catch onto something weird like that sooner. Then again, I was too focused on trying to escape and finding anyone else to pick up on minor details. I wonder what else I might not be noticing…

The sun will be setting soon – I should head back.

Still in shock. Holy shit.

I went back to the mall, thinking of nothing except eating and sleeping. From the outside, everything looked fine. Then I got closer to the entrance.

A foot-high wave of water poured out when I opened the doors.

I shouldn’t have gone in, but I did because I wanted to know what was causing this. Water was everywhere, at least on the ground level of the mall. Clothes, toys, and all other junk from the stores swirled past me. I could hear a loud roar coming from the area where I normally slept. Sloshing through as quickly as I could, my jaw dropped when I arrived.

That store? The one with the tipped-over mannequin and the crack in the wall? That’s where the water was coming from. It was shooting out from the crack and showed no signs of stopping.

I stared. Was there something I could do? Some way I could stop this? It’s only now I realize how absurd my thoughts were. But the mall had been my home for this long – irrationally, I was thinking only that my home was breaking and I needed to stop that.

Thinking I should examine the crack, I stepped forward. At that moment, a surge of water shot out, hitting me square in the chest. Stars filled my eyes when my spine collided with a white-tiled wall.

That was all it took to snap me back to my senses.

Panicking and losing all sense of direction, I ran. At least, as well as I could in two feet of water. I couldn’t remember which hallway I was in and products from the stores matted together, getting in the way of escape. In five minutes, the water was almost as high as my waist and only getting higher.

Is this how I die? I wondered. I make a dumb decision in a world where there’s no one to find my body?

Suddenly an exit sign appeared at the end of the hallway. I assumed it meant exit by the red light and the number of letters (illegible as they were). The water slowed me down, but I had motivation and that was all I needed. I got to the door and, using all my strength, forced it open.

Water pooled out into the parking lot, almost knocking me off balance. As soon as I was out, I ran. I ran and ran, not caring where I went. Just glad to be alive.

When I stopped and looked around, I quickly realized where I was. White Collar Avenue.

Daisy Hill is still my most-feared part of this place. But now that I’m actually in one of the buildings on the Avenue, I really hate this area, too. Where I am right now is nothing but empty cubicles in big gray or beige rooms. The air reeks of stale elevator. Computer models I haven’t seen since I was a toddler sit lifeless on desks. And the fluorescent lights sizzle in the quiet.

If I didn’t have my music, this place would drive me nuts. Even so, I don’t know how I’ll sleep here. I’d find somewhere else, but it’s dark out and my eyes keep playing tricks on me. The last thing I want to do is go outside. Or see something I’d be better off not seeing.

One of the corner lights just fizzled out. There’s a huge patch of shadows over there.

I’m getting out as soon as morning comes.

Either I’m losing my mind, or this world is showing its fangs.

When I woke up, the shadows in the corner had grown bigger. And darker. And there were – no, I can’t have been seeing things right. Shadows don't work like that.

Anyway, I got out of there immediately. I’m in Blue Jay Park and right now, nowhere feels safe.

No more dumb decisions. I’m not dying in this world. If a building feels threatening or is flooded out of the blue, I stay out. I need to find somewhere with lots of lights to stay in. I just don’t trust darkness anymore.

If what I saw in the shadows is real…could that have been lurking in the shadows of the mall? Watching me sleep night after night, month after month? What the hell is that!?

I need to calm down. I don’t know what I saw and for all I know, it could have been just a trick of my waking mind. But until I know whether or not the whole thing is real, I’m going to be careful. If nothing else, this is just evidence that I need to do a lot more exploring. I need to in order to survive.

And if there’s any chance – any whatsoever – of escaping this place, then I must do everything I can to find it. Because I'll be damned if I accept this world any longer than I already have.

#liminal spaces #liminal #creative writing #short story #writing #writer #original story #writeblr

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moon-ursidae · 2 years ago

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SESSION #4… & #5 (this one is SUPER LONG i’m sorry haha)

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games are below!

i feel like i have barely made a fuckin dent in this game haha so my goal today is to really get some ground. i want to finish this before i go back to school next week.

total play time:

session 4: about 5 hours

session 5: around 7 hours

i left off in a really weird spot last time bc i ended pretty abruptly so idk where it’ll put me

but this section is called Capitol Hill

it started me back a few minutes but that’s alright!

goddamnit i knew it was too quiet. there was too much short grass around here i knew some wlfs were gonna fuckin show up

NOOOOO the halloween stuff is probably reminding ellie of riley :(

i think that’s the same frankenstein statue/figure from the mall as well?

damn.

i have a feeling this place is gonna be CRAWLING with wlfs. i literally hear them already

FUCK as soon as i used the workbench

wlfs AND infected??? jfc

i at least found a card tho

THERE’S A WHOLE STEALTH UPGRADE BRANCH????

my rogue heart is so happy

I WAS WONDERING WHEN I COULD MAKE SILENCERS FUUUUUCK YEA

there’s a bunch of pride stuff around! fuck yea!

LMAO DINA “what’s with all the rainbows?”

FUCK YEA BOOKSTORE

SORORITY SECRETS💀 “it’s us right?” LMAOOOOO

that’s so fucking funny

there’s a trans flag in here too!! FUCK YEA

lmao dina getting distracted by the gay smut

OH MY GOD THE WLF ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE

i fucking love silencers holy shit fuck yea

this area is HUGE holy shit

anutha card babyyyyyy

what if i don’t want to go to the tv station huh? what then?

dude i gotta try ellie’s half up half down hair style. i love it so much

it’s also crazy how this is still DAY ONE for them

ellie saying how she couldn’t do this without dina and dina telling ellie she wouldn’t have let her😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh shit explosive trap

anutha card babyyyyyy

“i like you.” “i want it in writing.” I LOVE ELLIE AND DINA

oh my god ellie’s talking about bill

i wonder what the fucker’s up to rn

ellieeeeeeeeeeeee don’t say that shit

“you have a bigger burden that puts you in a worse position” ELLIE NOOOO

“feel her love?” are we entering scar territory? oh fuck

TOMMY’S HORSE OH SHIT

oh no dina

ellie, dina’s pregs dude. be patient with herrrrrrrr

she sounded annoyed with her when she asked if she was good to keep going. and it doesn’t help that ellie just said that shit about other people being a burden. ELLLIIIEEEEEE

had to break for like 20 min due to some internet issues

well what was 20 min turned into like more than 7 hours HAHA

and what turned into 7 hours turned into 2 days…

so i’m just gonna mash the two sessions into one post bc it’s easier and i can sooo LMAO

i’m sorry ya’ll shit has been wack and the anxiety is in full force haha ANYWAY

SESSION #5 BEGINS HERE!!

idk where it’s gonna put me bc i ended pretty abruptly (again.)

also i think my first tattoo is gonna be the moth on the guitar and on ellie’s tattoo? i’ve been thinking about it for over a year😯

OKAY it started me a little bit after finding tommy’s horse

i already have shitty eyes i CANNOT see these traps in the tall grass dude

i have a feeling i’m gonna get jumpscared in this fuckin furniture store

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYY

I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

THEY CRAWL NOW???????

damn i opened this safe just to be able to grab NOTHING i am fully stocked on everything

… i spoke too soon

going back for the med kit bc i tripped a fucking bomb…

more of the “feel her love” art

radio station WOOOOO

she really did learn so fucking much about surviving from joel holy fuck

bc if she only grew up in a community and didn’t go across the country w joel i don’t know if she would have the knowledge that she does

oh shiiiit there are some dead ppl upon this balcony

i don’t think this was tommy tho

nope! there’s an arrow in this person

i also like how they subtly tell you who killed them with the arrow. there have been no wlfs with bows anywhere. they all have firearms. tommy is always seen with a rifle of some kind but never a bow. so there’s a lot of process of elimination that can be done just from this alone. i fuckin love little details like that.

so it was scars. the “feel her love” graffiti and the wlf patrols frim earlier mentioned them. i love how this group is being introduced slowly. it really builds them up and tells you what you need to know about them before you encouter them.

i already know about the scar group so i have some insight, but the way they slowly add them into the mix is cool

hopefully i get a bow soon

onward to the inside!

ohhhhhhh fuck.

i don’t care who you are, no one deserves to be hung like that. that’s horrible.

damn i can’t even cut them down. fuck, man.

and those are wlf, so it was the scars

the scar symbol in blood? jesus christ.

and i know there’s gonna be combat here bc i see that clip on tiktok all the time of this encounter

the music is stressing me the fuck OUT

found another card tho

kimimela is fucking DOPE

although this does seem like a really comfy place to set up, it’s too big to defend dude

clearly that was their downfall bc jesus christ it is a massacre in here

i’ve only seen dead wlfs. no scars.

oh shit it’s leah

ellie’s hands are shaking :(

oh fuck there’s polaroids of all of them

OH SHIT THERE’S A PICTURE OF ABBY

god the way that she stares at the picture :(

and the music AHHHH :(

the way that dina recenters her by saying “3 down, right?”

god i love them

dina pointing out how fucked it would be to interrogate leah like tommy did to the one guy, but ellie is so persistent that she doesn’t feel it’s wrong GOOODDDDDD DUDE MY HEART

RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

ohhhhhh fuck we’re underground. i know what’s about to fuckin go down. and i want NONE of it bro

fuckin theatre WHEN?

this subway shit REALLY feels like the last of us

the lighting from the flares is fuckin SICK

oh shit i’m just gonna make them fight clickers and just wait it out this is great

this is some benny hill shit with the way they’re running in circles w clickers chasing them

the atmosphere is fuckin horrifying

i hate the bloater sounds that i’m hearin

it just feels musty down here dude i’m sweating

GODDAMNIT i know i missed a whole fuckin section to search back there and i can’t get back now. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

god fuckin damnit bro SHIT

THERE WAS PROBABLY SO MUCH STUFF BACK THERE I THOUGHT I SEARCHED EVERYTHINGUUUHHHH

THERE WAS PROBABLY A GODDAMN CARD BACK THERE

I’M SO PISSED AT MYSELF RN

the lighting and sound design down here is fucking CRAZY

the distant screams and infected sounds are helping to create a really tense environment

shambler?! what the fuckin fuck is that??

nope

nopenopenopenopenopenopenope

fuck that. i’ll see you guys later!

“holy fuck” is absolutely right ellie

i just dropped down. i want back up. fuck this dude. i don’t fuckin want it

fuck right off

thank fuck for trap mines. oh my god.

that cart holding open the door collapsing is a really smart way to close off the area

i want out of these tunnels bro

tbh scavenging is one of my favorite parts of the game. it’s so satisfying.

oh shit! there’s a carving of the scar woman in the graffiti. this shit is HELLA cultish bro

hmmmm this newspaper clipping about a community in the suburbs surviving seems like her origin story, whoever the fuck she is

“the community members unanimously credited their survival to one woman…” unanimously being the key word there

“she had a vision of catastrophe… ‘divine retribution’” yuuuup sure sounds cult-y to me

CARD ACQUIRED

“how’d you do that?” “magic.” “you’re my favorite.” THEY are my favorite your honor🥹

THERE’S A FUCKIN HAWAIIAN SHIRT IN HERE ELLIE TAKE IT

naughty dog yellow babyyyyyyy over the rail down below

oh fuck more bitches

again, thank god for trap mines

DAYLIGHT! THANK GOD!

but i know there’s more to come

ANUTHA CARD

bastet is really fuckin cool

i’m waiting for this train to fucking COLLAPSE dude

i feel so bad for dina

she’s leaning up against the train with hands on her knees :(

THERE IT IS

TRAIN COLLAPSE

ohhhh fuck i heard hella infected i’m gonna have to DIP

the way dina was so ready to go down with ellie too

she instantly offered to share masks

and the way she YELLS at ellie when she takes her mask off

GOOOODDDDDDDDDDD this is so fucked

OH SHIT TIME TO RUN

I ALMOST FUCKED THAT UP BUT I MADE IT

OH SHIT DINA

THEATRE!!!! MY BELOVED FINALLY!!!

there is a CONVERSATION that is gonna happen that needs to dude

the way dina looks at her arm AHHHHH

omg i do that same shit ellie’s doing w her hands during confrontation

her having to correct “know” to “knew” bc of joel🥲

oh fuuuuck dude i know i’m not gonna like ellie’s reaction to dina’s pregnancy

dina trying to break the tension w the “don’t worry it’s not yours” 🥺

ELLIE DON’T “are you fucking kidding me?”

I GET THIS IS STRESSFUL BUT DAMN

COMPASSION MAYBE?

ohhhhhhhhh shit a few weeks ago? shit dude.

i agree that it would’ve been good for dina to stay in jackson BUT that can’t change rn. ya’ll are in the fucking pnw

“well you’re a burden now, aren’t you?”

😐

🤦🏻‍♀️

ELLIE.

DINA’S FACE :(

FUCK DUDE

go fuckin walk it off ellie goddamn i love you and everything but ur bein dumb rn

and if joel did the same shit (which i’m sure he would have during the first game) i’d be mad at him too

DINA CURLED UP FACED AWAY FROM ELLIE :(

APOLOGIZE ELLIE.

seeing dina look so small from the balcony UUUGH

i feel like i’m gonna get jumpscared pt.716282

ANUTHA CARD

okay beyond is fucking dope i think she’s my favorite card so far

where’s the props table bc i’m gonna touch it and all the props that aren’t mine LMAO

the guy that was here before is definitely still here

and fuckin fried on the roof…

sorry bro

i feel like there’s gonna be at least one or two in the auditorium tho

THE LIGHTING IS SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD

“joel. you’d love watching a movie in this place.”😭😭😭

WAIT I NEVER CHECKED MY JOURNAL

hold up journal break

her shambler drawings are fuckin cool

jesus i’m getting pit orchestra flashbacks from this auditorium

THE SICK HABIT PLAYED HERE!!!

AND ELLIE GETS THE SET LIST!!!

only $25 for a concert?????

A GUITAR🥲

holy shit this guitar is pretty

FUTURE DAYYYSSSSSSSS😭😭😭

fuck dude i’m crying

cut to black???

OH FUCK IT’S THE FLASHBACK

NO I’M GONNA SOOOOOBBBBBBB

I’M ALREADY A MESS

once i hear his voice i’m gonna lose it.

3 years earlier😭

losing it.

FUUUUCK THERE HE IIIIIISSSSSSSS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I CAN SEE THE FUCKING CASETTE TAPE IN HIS TSHIRT POCKET

just seeing him standing here is making me fucking cry.

“oops.” AND HIM LAUGHING AHHHHHHH🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“push the water with your whole arm blah blah blah” “glad to know i’m gettin through” THEY’RE SO FATHER AND DAUGHTER AND I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

i’m wondering if it was a choice to have joel not have any close ups during these cinematics

“i am very angry and upset.” I’M LABSLSBSKWVDKSVSOSB

I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

“you need to stop lettin people rile you up” IT APPLIES TO ELLIE CURRENTLY TOO DUDE AHHHHHH

WHEN HE’S BEEN LEADING THE WAY THE WHOLE TIME BUT THEN LET ELLIE GO FIRST THROUGH THE WOODS BEFORE THE DINOSAUR😭😭😭😭😭😭

“that’s a big boy” 🥹🥹

I’M FUCKING CRYING SO MUCH DUDE

oh i’m R E A D I N G this journal bitch

CAT MENTION!!!

omg the little 3d shape sketches w shadows and the diamond thing LMAO that shit is all over my fucking school notes

THE DRAWING OF TOMMY AND JOEL IN THEIR FUCKING COWBOY HATS😭😭

HIS CONCERN WHEN SHE WAS CLIMBING UP THE TREX😭😭

“don’t jump. CLIMB down.”

*immediately jumps*

the “HEY! HEY!” WHEN SHE JUMPED DOWN😭😭

“did you see that?” “yea i saw that” IN THE MOST EXASPERATED PARENTAL TONE UUUGGGHHHH

THE PAMPHLET THAT WAS IN HIS HOUSE😭😭

HE LOOKS SO PROUD STANDING THERE

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER PLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEEEE

HE’S SUCH A DAD OH MY GOD

THE HAT!!

HAHAHAHA I LOVE HER

i know ashley said that “actually” in a kinda jokey nerd “um actually” voice on purpose💀

“pretty sure those are velociraptors.”

JOEL SAW JURASSIC PARK WOOOO

“sorry all the dinosaurs are busy right now.” “what are you doin?” “oh wait. one of the dinosaurs is here. joel, it’s for you.” “very funny.”

I L O V E T H E M

she really had to dig the knife deeper huh? LMAO “get it? because you’re old.”

“there was a sequel. wasn’t as good.” LMAOOOOOOOOO true

THE HAT ON DINOSAURS SAGA BEGINS

“is this gonna be a thing? please don’t let it be a thing.” OH IT’S A THING JOEL.

“triceratops. at least there’s one i recognize.” I LOVE JOEL.

THEM POKING FUN AT EACH OTHER

“this one’s brain was the size of a walnut.” “looks like you two have somethin in common” PLEAAASSSEEE

i’m gonna start crying more bc this is how me and my dad are i swear to fucking god

“tell ya what.. when we get back to jackson, movie night.” 😭😭😭😭

SHE PUT THE HAT ON HIS HEAD😭

THE GRUMBLE IN PROTEST HAHAHA

TROPHY BABY

A FUCKIN CARD????

“sarah was into those for a little while. or was it the tiny creatures? i forget.” KAHSKSHSKSVWKSBSKSBSKSHAKV

THE FACES IN THE MIRROR WHILE JOEL HITS THE DAD LEANING ON DOORWAY STANCE PLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE

naughty dog said “LOOK AT HOW GOOD OUR FACIAL ANIMATION IS. L O O K. FEAST UPON IT WITH YOUR EYES”

“look how thick this one’s skull is!” “kinda looks like…tommy” “i’m telling him you said that.” “please don’t. catch it in the right light, boom. tommy.” I’M- 😭

“i happen to know a thing or two.” “from a movie.” “keep goin.” ASJSHAKSBSKSB HAHAHAHAHA

H A T LOCATED

now they both have hats🥹

“did you go to museums a lot?” “yea. sarah loved em. i swear that girl dragged me to every museum in texas.” JOEL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“looks like a giraffe” BC SHE’S ACTUALLY SEEN THEM IN SALT LAKE CITY😭😭😭😭

JOEL PUT THE HAT ON IIIIIIITTTTTTTTT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“i see the appeal.” IN THE SOFTEST VOICE EVER😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m suing naughty dog for emotional damage

side note: the way the light spills in from the ceiling????? GORGEOUS

oh fuck it’s the space exhibit

i love that joel could have easily gone over the fucking cabinet next to the turnstyle but he didn’t to amuse ellie😭

“did you know this was here?!” “you don’t like it. we can head back.” “shut up!” WHILE SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD BC HE WAS WORRIED?? I’M GONNA-

“joel, can you name all the planets?” THE WAY HE CHUCKLED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO DROP THE BIGGEST FUCKIN MINDBLOWING INFO HAHAHAAAA

“my very educated mother just served us nice pizzas.” “uhhh… did you just have a stroke?”💀💀💀💀💀

“daggum girl, you are smart.” 😭😭

GOING THROUGH THIS AND KNOWING THAT HE HAD THE FUCKING SPACE FOR DUMMIES BOOK ON HIS BEDSIDE TABLE IN JACKSON MAKES ME FUCKIN- KAHSKSHSKSVSKSVS

“tell me another fun fact.” AGAIN IN THE SOFTEST VOICE LIKE HE’S GENUINELY HAPPY HERE

“why don’t you tell me what you like about it.”😭😭

“all right, kiddo. now i get it.” AGAIN. SOFTEST VOICE. 😭😭😭😭

TROY BAKER WHAT THE FUCK

hitting ANOTHER dad stance at the fucking rover

i don’t wanna go in the shuttle bc i know i’m gonna be even MORE of a mess and that this is gonna end. and i don’t want it to bc i fucking MISS joel

the way he immediately jumps in to help her open the door on the lil shuttle🥹

here come the tears

“happy birthday kiddo.” i’m gone.

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HERRRRRR

HE CARES ABOUT HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

i fucking love how it looks like she’s actually in a shuttle to show how immersed she is🥺😭😭😭

and then it slowly fades back in GODDAMN NAUGHTY DOG

“i do okay?” JOOOOEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE SMILES AFTER SHE SAYS “are you fucking kidding me?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE PIN ON HER FUCKING BAG FUCK OFF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“whose birthday is it?” “you can’t keep doin that!” HAHAHAHA

“i want a good splash!” i love them so fucking much. oh my god.

YYYEEESSSSSSS. it isn’t a joel and ellie adventure without ye olde boost

“okay, be safe!” “you be safe!” have i said that i love them?

there’s gonna be infected in here right? has to be.

there’s an “i killed for them” written on the wall.. not creepy at all..

ANUTHA CARD WOOOO

okay jk saura is my favorite card now

“this guy needed a hug” about the i killed for them on the wall💀

“the 4 soldiers at the gate. the last one cried.” this is fuckin creepy dude

I DON’T LIKE THIS WITHOUT JOEL HERE

she has her gun out and said “oh shit” but i don’t see anything??? I’M SCARED

“the women were tortured. choked on her own blood.” this is fucking CREEPY DUDE WHERE IS JOEL

“the stragglers that snuck into camp. they just wanted food.” have i mentioned that i don’t like this?

FUCK the crashes scared me dude

“the kid who ran into the blast. i couldn’t stop him.” dude why the fuck are you plastering this shit on a museum wall

“the people in the van. we locked them in and doused it with gas.” jesus fucking christ dude.

“there is no light.” ohhhhhhhhhh were they looking for the fireflies then?

jesus fucking christ this is sad and fucked up

what a cool birthday ellie good god

THOSE WOLVES SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME DUDE

okay i had no fucking idea there was more to this flashback after the space shuttle like i thought it ended there so i have no fucking clue what’s next

A FUCKING BOAR???? WHAT THE FUCK???

“liars.” ohhhhhhhhhh fuck. it’s definitely the fireflies.

JOEL!! damn he looks good. SORRY

yeaaaaa there’s the logo fuck bro

AND THE WAY ELLIE TOUCHES HER SCAR AKSHAKSBSKSBKWB ASHLEY JOHNSONNNNNNNNN

THE M U S I C

and how it stays on that shot??? beautiful.

SEATTLE DAY 2 BITCHESSSSSS

YESSSSS THE ICONIC BUTTON UP OUTFIT YYYEEEEAAAAAAAA

LEMME SEE THAT TATTOO ELLIE

i’m gonna practice guitar tho

DAMN playing this is harder than actual guitar

JOURNAL check-in! how we feelin ells?

oofta. expected this though.

“i shouldn’t have said that to her.” THEN TELL HER THAT

i like that her writing reflects how her brain is going 100 miles a minute

i feel like dina’s doing all this tracking even though she feels like shit bc ellie said what she fuckin said :(

have i mentioned that i FUCKING LOVE dina? bc i very much do.

oh fuuuuuuuck it’s tommy

oh fuck HILLCREST? fuuuuuuck

i feel like dina should stay

yeaaaaaa she’s not lookin good dude

YESSSSS THE BRACELET

“i don’t believe in luck.” “i do.” I LOVE THHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMM

a lil smooch goodbye 🥺

I START IN HILLCREST?????

FUCK.

i think i’m gonna stop here actually? this post is already super fucking long bc i’m dumb and decided to combine session posts lmao

ANYWAY i will pick back up at hillcrest… tomorrow!

this was a longer session and i feel like i got through a decent chunk today so WOOOOOOOO

#the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #the last of us spoilers #tlou part ii spoilers #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #the last of us #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #tlou #mads plays the last of us!🌿#mads plays the last of us part ii!🍃

2 notes · View notes

spesphire · 4 months ago

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You act more boyfriend-y with her than with me

You can face the ‘couple’ allegations with her but not with me. You like when people joke about you and muntaha but hate when they make you and me a thing. That action speaks volume. Don’t worry, there’s no ‘us’, there never was.

I was delusional for thinking you liked me. Real delusional shit right there. I thought you cared enough for me to not hurt me. My first instinct was right. You were a jerk. I take the full blame to make you think I’ll stay when a man jokes about cheating. Thanks to you, I hate myself even more. But that’s okay, at least you made me realize life is just fine without a man.

I’m doing a favor for you. You can date girls have many opportunities and decide your future.

Remember when you went everywhere with her, feed her, talk about your future with her, you can feel she’s the more great friend of you than me. She can be your special friend.

She is not like other girls and you like het soul and her as a person. That’s super. Quick tip, don’t let your future partner hear all this.

On the bright side, she likes you.

She told her family and friends about you, she really loves you. I just simply don’t want to interfere any relationship even if I die.

Valuing our friendship, sure, then don’t you dare flirt with me.

Your life is hard, so is mine. I don’t want you near my life if I think you are complicating it. I’m far from you, I am helping you by staying myself out of your life. I think you’ll agree to that. I don’t mourn for your loss, I mourn for what I’ve done. Sometimes, no, most of times I regret the decisions I made for you. It was cringe and totally not worth it.

You can go to the mall with Muntaha but not with me. Let me do you another favor. I won’t even hang out with you anywhere. You and Muntaha can chill together, me and Aahana will be more than fine together.

At first I hated breaking your three people group for aahana. Then I realized, she was taking me out of you and Muntaha’s thing. She was protecting me. I should’ve listened to her.

You and Muntaha sync so well. Okay fine, maybe you two are not a thing, but I can say you have a certain taste. I’m the total opposite of it. So I’m way out of the picture.

I remember what you told me on call on the day before my birthday and at Calgary. All these information seemed like excuses and for what? You had the chance to say yeah, let’s end this. The amount of times you told me you are leaving for Calgary and you’re not coming back, you don’t say a word to those to Muntaha or Aahana, your closest friend.

Imagine this scenario, I’m leaving for Canada, I remind my close friend orpa time to time that I’m leaving for Canada and our friendship can break, we can’t talk to each other anymore. Obviously she will create her distance from me if she is told the future bad happening with us. Nobody wants to be associated with the bad thing.

Just like that, if I hear heartbreak and breakup, I’ll even question my friendship with you. It’s the same way you keep reminding me of Calgary and separating paths. There’s nothing for us in future, we can easily stop everything really easy.

Good thing we only experimented with each other like lab products. It will help us in future in our separate paths. Science of exploration and experiment is a great thing. You always learn something from it.

I don’t wanna be anybody’s backup plan. It’ll be so easy to get the amount of girlfriend you want. But it’s really disturbing to hear this stuff again and again and again and again. Even if you don’t say it, you imply it a lot too.

I still remember calling you after my breakdown and you said it was okay for me to come at mall. But become mad at me because Aahana and Muntaha could find out about us. I could sense your hatred and disgust. I wanted to stab myself to death with the mutual hatred. You never gifted me anything, all those empty promises about movies and

I remember vividly you not getting me any birthday gift.

You wanted to play the question answer thing a lot with me. I had a lot a question in my head. But I couldn’t word it out.

why were we doing that? Just for fun and games? Did we liked each other?

Did you actually ever liked me before?

How many times you questioned yourself why you were there with me?

How long you wanted to keep me as your so called side chick?

Why are you so afraid to say you don’t want to continue things with me? (That would’ve hurt me less)

Why did you kept saying you love me when you clearly don’t love me love me?

Why you wasted your valuable time on me? Just because you were bored?

Why you brought muntaha in almost any slight flirty texts? ( I remember you telling me Muntaha uses 🤭🫣🤧 a lot. And occasionally 😉at Tahneen apu’s house. Come to think of it, you implied Muntaha liked you not-so-secretly so many times)

Why did it feel like you were lying a lot even when you said you weren’t?

Why we even meet? Was it the devil who wanted me to suffer?

Why did you kept saying ‘hey gf!’ If you’re going to see you’re not ready for a relationship anyways? (That’s some crime that deserves no forgiveness)

Why did you semi-proposed me in text and talk about breakup in the very day?

Why did you mention about Soumitro if you never like me like that anyways?

You said you were okay with me dating other people then why did you even get mad when I mention doing that in future?

Did you realize you broke multiple promise with me and I cried and cried but still kept my promise about being you friend?(which I planned on not keeping anyways)

Thank you for putting extra effort to make me hate love and relationship again. I really appreciate it. Now I remember more vividly how disturbing it was.

As I’m writing this, I can tell how harshly I fell out of love, I wanted to love you, love someone but actually it never happened. We never loved each other. Maybe like and lust in some cases but never love. I remember telling you I fell out I’m planning my escape.

I am now disgusted by the thought of you.

I feel like a trash tbh.

When you and Muntaha went on a date and snapped your bubble tea drink together like a couple, she went your house like a very nice friend she was, she was always with you technically.

I made a mistake of talking about s. I shouldn’t have said that. I just wanted to talk about anything. I somehow landed on that topic. Because I overshare with the person I trust. A very bad mistake if I say. Rule number one of surviving is not trusting anyone. Sorry I

I remember you texting to Aahana that you feel lonely in Calgary while I was in BD alone in my room NOT feeling lonely cause I was talking to YOU. That was just another hint our feelings wasn’t mutual. You are not my type, you give me the ick everytime I talk to you, I liked you enough to go back to you that one time. I would’ve easily dropped you. I don’t trust a man like you tbh. Your tastes are so cringe and bad. You should NOT feel sad that I’m gone. Curse me all you can but I saved myself from your bulshittery going any further. I deserve someone who will commit to me, not use me. I get it, you don’t wanna be the bad guy. Then I just had to do it.

The parallels of me talking to Emily on that night that I can’t be in a relationship indirectly and you talking to me at Calgary you can’t commit to me indirectly.

Huh.

Well, what I was supposed to do with Emily?

the same thought goes from you to me I guess. I’m not a cool person. I’m a weird and socially awkward person who never talked to boys around my age. It’s not big of a deal. It’s just me being a girl makes me more like a man. Not so feminine. Another reason for you to not like me I guess. It’s better this way. I would be rather glad to not be with a person who doesn’t like me the way I am. I’m glad this awful thing happened between us. Now we’re both free and we can both find the right person. I can get over with you way too easily instead of being delusional.

Be happy it’s all over. We both have been a nightmare to each other.

0 notes

flames-memory · 6 months ago

Text

Monday morning

BC took me to this cool fancy mall, and we had dinner. It was fun, just nice to have a cozy moment, have dinner. We went home and snuggled to sleep.

Night

Billy asked BC to run the club tonight, he had something come up. She did great, people were dancing and moshing. The music was great. It wasn't the big crowd of opening night, but I thought it was decent. BC was worried it was too quiet.

Tuesday morning

Mistress took me back to the same club as the first time with Faye. I wrote the blindfold, and I could hear all the people there, but it didn't matter. I didn't care as much, since I couldn't see them. It was intense and, of course, amazing.

Tuesday

I am NOT. Soo... Weird dreams. Eliza was there with BC when I woke up, they had dinner ready, or mostly eaten. It was nice to chat, but for some reason I didn't really want to..

Yeah that's a lie. I didn't feel as comfortable around Eliza. I think she's nice, but I'm not fully comfortable with her, knowing how she prioritized BC recently. I don't need her in my problems.

Sniffing, running, city, trees, Hellions... Smashed.. ha.. fire doesn't hurt... Searching... But not.. no.. no longer desperately. Curiously. Familiar. Uncomfortable.

What's all that? That's all I got right now. That and.. "Not". I am Not. A name??

Whatever. I'll figure it out. It doesn't seem to be imminent disaster.

I need a better schedule. When Eliza said she was going to Black Cat, I wanted to throttle her. WTF?

I don't understand people.

I can't straight out understand, so my brain comes up with maybes.

Maybe Eliza is mad cuz I butted in.

BC been busy a lot, really, the last few weeks. With Faye, with other people sometimes. I never know for sure. I certainly didn't mind, I was aware when I got involved with her that she was a busy person. At least I could look forward to seeing her when she wasn't . Everywhere we go out seems there's someone she's close to. Some of them are friendly. I finally have a few people i'm starting to 'know', people I can have a conversation with. I'm seeing Mark around more, and Andres and I are slowly becoming friends, although he's a busy little spark himself.

I feel like I year Max as backup. His plan b joke been bugging me, since he's not all wrong. I tried to make it up to him, even if he didn't mean it, by giving him some focus, and luckily, BC turned out to have 'throuple' dates with Eliza and Sebastian a bunch since they been back from Paris, so it worked out pretty well.

Till today.

I took a job I didn't have to, thinking she had movie plans with Eliza. Why? I think she did one night, way back when, and somehow Tuesdays are always weird, and other than it one night at the movies, I just thought it was like, their thing.

And I hate to say it, but I'm not eager to hang out with Eliza yet. I guess I have to forgive her for putting BC through some unnecessary shit first.

If it had been Faye, it wouldn't have been the same. Although... Here's more maybes now.

Maybe things seem weird and tense cuz we're worried about Faye. Maybe Faye being missing means suddenly, BC has a bunch of free time. Maybe I'm not sure where that thought leads, but I wish Faye were back, so I didn't get too used to BC being bored and lonely, for ME to get used to having so much of her time before Faye comes back. Faye's going to be around a lot more, which means everything will change, as far as our schedules and when we see each other, I think.

I'm not good at this stuff. I wish I was. I know I love them, but I'm scared I'm not enough for both, and I'm not willing to lose either. Imma just fuck it up till one chooses to leave me, I guess.

0 notes

the-firebird69 · 11 months ago

Text

We do not have time for all this rigmarole and hoopla and dumb s*** that you do Trump we don't have time to listen to you even a look at you and your dumb stuff you put on the stupid internet where it war and you are just a huge distraction and your own people are dying faster than anyone else and you're distracting them from their job and you don't have robots like you say I'm sick of you I don't even want to hear the response I don't mind to hear what I'm thinking

We do hear it and we think the same thing this guy is a moron and a coward and he's ruined a lot of what we're doing and we might not have anywhere to go we have to stop him

Crissy

Tell you what I've heard you for a while and I've been looking into it and I have evidence that shows that Trump has done us in all over the damn place and not just his own

Bja

I don't know what the hell this means you got this movie death race and you got like all of us as prisoners and you're making the malls and trying to poison what we think is everybody up there and it'll be just your guys who are up there too so I don't know what the hell that's supposed to be and why would you have death race stuff so it looks like you want to poison a whole bunch of people and then let us loose with nuclear weapons in their trunk and that made as people try to get there but what for and he says it's way up in Canada it's up the river but it sounds like he's clearing or trying to clear an entrance to take the necromonger ships. He wants to pretend he's George and George was just recently contacted on Mars were after you because your such a jerk

Bja and yeah I can't stand you you're so stupid and annoying you're not even a human

A lot of your decisions is what is the wrong way Trump you no longer are a leader

Woody harelson

I can't believe how stupid you are and what you're saying right now proves it from a group is going to separate now and what inspired others and we are all going to be one group and yeah we know who we are you idiot

Malory harolson

Even go to war with you Trump I'm sick of you and your goon squad picking me up and you can see it in the movie and what you're doing it doesn't make sense no it does but your message doesn't make sense he said these people are all top level g********** some of them from California and their head honchos too there and I don't believe you're taking on these guys exactly the daily the game makers could come up to any one of us I don't know what the hell they're on and they're not clones he has to get the hell out of here and stay out of here stop picking on my kids

Dan

You don't like you Trump we want you out of here and you're not listening and we're going to have to go after you right now

Tommy f

Our son is correct this guy has to leave but Tommy f has to leave too both of them are very unsettling characters and bothersome and they're both pesky b****** you'll light up Tommy after the ex the same way it is going to start doing it soon. Right now they're taking measures to pursue you tell me if Tommy f and they also planning to get Trump out of here at the same time they don't want to hear from you too goofballs not to mention every few minutes you're disgustingly stupid and if a crude and acquired more enemies then you have had for a long time yet. You made new ones everywhere. Are you going up to Canada shortly and to take over a desolate Island they're going to name you as a criminal and they don't want you there and they're going to detect your building nuclear devices and will raid your little Island. It was already said if you step foot up there and they're going to go after you and yours and destroy you attack you continuously and the french moved in and they mean business. There's a lot of people who can't stand you and there's more of them coming in so Charlotte county and they're going to get you out of here and you need to leave they even asked and told by us so many times it was ridiculous but you've been killed just as many times as that has occurred.

We're going to need you out of here pretty soon and you don't know why but we do and something about what Jen said he sees how we relate and we don't want that no that's not it, we need you in what Dave told you and stuff he was showing you and we need you right now and we're going to come get you.

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues

And no it's not about my husband being bad you people are stupid it's actually funny you're so dumb

Hera

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purplesurveys · 1 year ago

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1767

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? More of cold. I will say though(!!!) I've recently...turned a shift towards hot coffee? Like this is not bad at all??? I've been having hot mugs all week long and it may very well grow to become a new habit of mine.

What's a name you like that's similar to yours? There aren't a lot of names that bear a similarity to Robyn per se, but in the sense that it's unisex I am generally a fan of such names – like Stevie, Frankie, Dylan, Billie/Billy...

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? I don't know, these were the plates we've had from the day we moved in here. I'm guessing they were bought by my parents at some mall.

How's your mental health today? It is very stable and I can tell you it's because I don't have to think about work until Friday.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Mainly Paramore, but there was a lot of punk rock in there as well. Rancid, H2O, The Bouncing Souls, Against Me!, The Misfits...I don't listen to them nearly as much anymore but I'll always have a soft spot for each of them and for that phase in my life.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes, I'm quite sensitive.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? Well it was a Chili's, so. American and a bit of Mexican in there if I understood their concept correctly lol? Anyway, it was my first time eating there too and tbh I had had a high standard because of its price range, only to not be impressed. Why is it even so expensive there? They serve exactly the same stuff you'd find everywhere else.

Do you have a friend who's always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Kata used to send me TikTok videos until she stopped because I never was on the app, lol. Angela would still send me some occasionally, though.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Never.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Unless I get an invitation from today, no.

Are you good at following instructions? They have to be written/printed out otherwise I'd forget instantly.

What's your backyard or outdoor area like? It's clean and plain, but we don't really do things there. We prefer to entertain guests in the living room or at the rooftop.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don't currently have one) Bea has always been a fantastic superior and mentor to me from the day I stepped in the workplace, which is why I'm gutted that she's leaving any day now. My personal work morale has been low ever since she announced the news and I still haven't figured out how I'm supposed to manage everything and everyone once she's actually out the door.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Does it count if it's a mirror selfie? I took a few ones at the salon earlier this afternoon when I was getting my hair dyed.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Fried rice with egg and ham bits.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? I would download several YouTube videos in advance so I can watch them while offline.

Where are you right now? I'm at the rooftop but I literally am gonna pack up and go back to my room after this question because holy fuck does my back hurt.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Continued a whole day after. I don't think I have.

Do you hate small talk? Depends on how it goes. I'm pretty good with small talk but you can only do so much if the other person is too shy or is stingy with their responses. If I sense that they're not into conversing then I stop.

What's the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? There's no confirmed record for the hottest temperature in my city. I'm gonna guess somewhere between 40-45ºC though as summers can get brutal.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you're using right now? I have Chrome, Spotify, and Notes.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Hahahaha. I work from home and don't exercise so the average is less than 100 a day, embarrassingly enough. It's a different story when I get the chance to be outside because I do like to catch up on my steps; for days like those I would average anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000.

Have you had any snacks today? Yeah I had a couple bags of my favorite sweet corn chips. It's not as bad as it sounds – the bags are *really* tiny so that's why I had to have two of them lol.

Did you have any exchange students at your high school or university and did you become friends with them? We probably had batches of them come and go in college but I never did recognize them. My university has a huge population and it would've been impossible to know every single student.

What's the next thing you'll tick off your to-do list? It's a holiday tomorrow but I need to do a bit of work here and there just so I'm not completely stacked by Friday.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What's your favourite sandwich filling? Pulled pork.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Nopes.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? Dog bite.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? It's been on dark mode for as long as I've had it.

1 note · View note

aneixart · 2 years ago

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Sunday Feb 12 2023 repeat dream

I was outside its daytime looks like the neighbors across are setting up a rave party i see a dj and green laser lights , then the family appear we are in front of this lake there these bar stools at the edge of the lake to sit on we sit and talk wdy hands me a ring but it falls into the water i notice lepords sleeping in the watethcurled up everywhere they aren't dead they can somehow breath later while inside she asks for the expensive ring back to send it back and i tell her it fell into the water but also I open drawers as if maybe I just misplaced it somewhere we go back out and the dj across the water looks like he's about to perform but I see this silver ufo in the sky I point to it telling everyone to look Noone seems to notice the silver disc streams out of view but then comes back as it lands i notice it was just a huge eagle there a bunch on a small island across i see all the animals act weird the lepords come out of the water i see a small tiger and then as I look back over to the eagle a huge explosion happens I notice fire bursting up out of a mountain a volcano in Texas has erupted i bagan to yell for izzy and i can hear myself call his name outside my dream looking for him so that we can run.. then the dream repeats near the water all the animals and the dj i try to tell this woman about the volcano and everywhere looks towards the grassy mountains but they think I'm crazy and say there's no volcanos in Texas but I look for izzy and I'm thinking about stealing a car to get out theregurgent I'm wondering if i can hot wire a car i see the animals in the water and the eagles all over i keep looking in the direction of the volcano and talk about how the smoke filled the sky a woman keeps telling me it never happened and there's no smoke in the sky then it happens the volcano erupts once again this time im able to grab izzy and i can feel the ground shifting under me water flooding over and I can see the molten lava making it way towards us we get into he car and i begin to drive the opposite way but its not enough i know we won't be fast enough so I concentrate and pull the steering wheel towards me and then I'm able to make the car fly this will helps us get away with no obstacles and then I notice the others follow my lead making their cars fly i begin to avoid the electric wires from the poles . And then the dream shifts I see the same lake but part of its dried out me and others go down walking in the muddy water then the water begins to fill fast we go to the high cliff wall and climb up a ladder that seems to made from roots im walking around this mall i think looking for the restroom these two girls are following me everywhere I think they attempting to fight me I meet up with this guy I know and he make them go away he take me to the restroom stall and guards the door im at so Noone bothers me I wake up.

0 notes

daenqyu · 4 years ago

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— they accidentally confess to their crush

includes: shinsou, bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and hawks

warnings: swearing

a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i love this idea! it’s so cute🥺 also, hawks’ may be a little longer than the others because it’s my first time writing for him and i got a bit excited👉🏼👈🏼

ps: i don’t mind writing for hawks if it’s a headcannon and/or texts! so feel free to request him :D and yes, this is a repoost because the algorithm hates me.

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @tetsuruo )

shinsou hitoshi:

it would happen so randomly and out of the blue

as i said before, i think shinsou is a really reserved and quiet type of guy

but that seems to vanish whenever he’s around you

he’s more talkative and constantly goes out with you so you guys can have some quality time together

you also make him really nervous

he’s pretty chill with everyone and seems to not give a fuck about most things

but with you?

that’s a whole different story

whenever you keep your gaze stuck on him when he’s talking and his eyes meet yours, his heart never fails to do backflips because fuck you’re so cute

(oh to have shinsou think i’m cute D:)

ok back to the actual hc,,,

you two were hanging out in your room, listening to music and just talking

even tho your best friends, shinsou never really tells you much about his personal life

of course you know the basics like his hobbies and all his favorite things

but he never talks to you about...crushes or anything

and you don’t like that because :( friends are supposed to tell each other this stuff, right?

it’s fun and makes the bond even stronger

so you decide to ask him because why not?

“hey shinsou?”

he’s sitting down next to you on your bed, your legs draped over his

which makes him feel all warm inside

it’s stupid and definitely not a big deal,

but it’s little things like this that make him fall more and more for you

“yes?”

“do you have a crush?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him in a teasing way, although he’s not even looking your way

a part of you is nervous to hear his response

because unbeknownst to shinsou, you reallyyy like him

and have been crushing on him for quite some time now, but since you’re so sure the feelings are one sided, you don’t tell him

he’s too invested on the game he’s playing on your switch, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he concentrates

so he almost misses your question

and when he does answer, he’s not even paying attention to the words that leave his mouth

“apart from you? no”

it takes him a good minute to process what he said

meanwhile you’re sitting there like :o

you certainly weren’t expecting THAT

like it’s a good thing!!!! but you’re kinda flustered

especially when shinsou finally looks up at you, eyes widened in surprise at his own bluntness as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say now

“wait! i didn’t mean it like that!”

“you didn’t?”

he notices the slight pain in your voice and the way you move away from him slowly and he’s quick to apologize

“shit, okay...yes i like you but i didn’t say anything because i don’t want to make things weird between us or ruin what we have right now”

he’s looking everywhere but you

because he doesn’t exactly want to face you when you reject him

but you don’t ???

instead you giggle and before he can ask you what’s so funny, you climb on his lap to hug him, causing him to blush furiously

“i like you too, toshi”

the nickname makes him hug you even tighter while he hides his face on your neck

it was such a cute confession and even when you two start going out, you never stop bringing it up

which makes shinsou extremely embarrassed

“hey remember when you confessed and-”

“y/n, we’ve talked about this”

“oh come on! you were so adorable”

he pouts at you

“were?”

people think he looks so scary but he’s actually a whole ass baby

you roll your eyes before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss,

“you’re such a baby”

“hm, your baby”

“oh my god you did not”

yeah no, he’s in love with you👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @bakugousmyboy )

bakugou katsuki:

i feel like it would be pretty difficult to have bakugou accidentally confess directly to you

he knows how to control himself and his emotions so i doubt he’d actually ever do something like this

however,

he’s not that good at hiding his crush on you and mostly everyone on class 1A knows the boy is an absolute sucker for you

except you because apparently you think he’s just being nice

and everyone else is like wtf????

like he’s ALWAYS screaming at everyone

but when it’s you he doesn’t

in fact, sometimes he even lowers his voice so it won’t bother you

so that behavior is the one that caused him to be stuck in the situation he is right now

he sat in the common room with kirishima and kaminari, trying to eat his food in peace but the two idiots, as he likes to call them, wouldn’t shut up

he had completely blocked out both of their voices, focusing on finishing his meal and getting the hell away from them

until he heard your name being mentioned

“dude when are you gonna ask y/n out? everyone knows how much you like her so might as well you know,” kirishima bumps his shoulder against the blonde, only to receive a glare. “get some action”

“yeah bakubro, she’s super cute too” kaminari buts in and bakugou is about to punch them both in the face

“shut the fuck up. i don’t like her” bakugou scoffs

“but you’re such a softie for her”

“huh?! i treat her the same as i treat all of you extras!” oh but he knows he’s lying, you can’t even compare to any of your annoying classmates

kirishima smirks, “i’m pretty sure you’ve never once, raised your voice at her”

“so? that doesn’t mean shit”

kaminari looks at kirishima and the redhead nods at him, giving him the green light

“well since you don’t like her, you wouldn’t mind if i ask her out? because i’ve been wanting to-” kaminari can’t even finish his sentence before bakugou grabs him by the collar of his shirt

kaminari yelps, looking over at his other friend for help but he moves his head quickly, knowing better than to get involved

“you try and make a move on her and i swear to God i’ll blast you all the way across japan, dunce face”

bakugou’s voice is threatening and low, and kaminari knows he means every word so he quickly raises his arms in defeat and nods his head

“okay, okay! i swear i won’t”

little do they know that you’ve been standing behind them for a while now

you’re happy to know your feelings are reciprocated

but of course you want to tease bakugou about it

“hm did my ears deceive me or does boom boom boy have a crush on me?”

kirishima and kaminari take that as their cue to run away to their rooms, leaving you two alone

“tch, how long have you been standing there?” even as he glares you down, he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks

he didn’t want you to find out this way

or at all tbh

you walk over to him, a wide smile on your lips

“long enough”

afterwards you ask him if he wants to go watch a movie with you the next day and he’s lowkey mad because he wanted to ask you on a date first, but he doesn’t say no

you end up having way more fun than expected and you actually confirmed that bakugou was a softie for you

(turns out you were the last one to find out because literally everyone else knew)

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

midoriya izuku:

OKAY HE’D BE THE MOST FLUSTERED OUT OF ALL OF THEM

he can barely function around girls in general so like, what does that tell you?

he likes you so much but he’s so scared

but he’s also so sweet to you even before you start dating oml

midoriya is a sweetheart, we all know this

and he pays so much attention to you

like if you are the mall one day and you see something you really like but can’t buy it for whatever reason well…

a few days later he gets it for you

he would say something along the lines of, “you seemed to really like it so i got it for you”

“you didn’t have to, izuku!”

“but i wanted to”

you’ll try to pay him back in some sort of way but he absolutely refuses

he loves pampering you

yet whenever you try to do the same he doesn’t let you and it’s: ✨annoying✨

anyways,

you were supposed to go to the movies

but midoriya had forgotten he had some homework to do, which was due the next day

“i’m so sorry y/n! i completely forgot, but i promise i’ll finish quickly” he tried to reassure you and you chuckle at the boy, so cute

“it’s okay, izuku. i don’t mind waiting”

you lay down on his bed, trying your best to keep your eyes open

but as much as you tried, you eventually fell asleep against the soft sheets, your best friend’s bed being just too comfortable

midoriya sat on his desk chair, writing down the answers as fast as he could so you guys could go watch the movie you were so excited about

he let out a sigh of relief when he finished, before taking his phone out to check the time

6:37PM, the movie starts at 7PM so we still have time

he stood up to tell you he had finished, but was met with your sleeping figure

your eyes were closed and soft snores left your slightly parted lips, hands gripping his sheets to your chest

the curly haired boy almost combusted at the sight

you looked so peaceful, so pretty

a smile grazed his lips as he made his way over to the bed

he sat down beside you, quietly admiring your features

feeling the mattress dip thanks to his weight, you began to wake up, but quickly shut your eyes when you noticed midoriya was looking at you

truth be told, you just wanted to scare him by suddenly jumping

but his next words made your breath hitch

one of his hands moved up to your face, resting it gently against your cheek as his thumb massaged the skin

your heartbeat was out of control and you forced yourself to calm your breathing so he wouldn’t notice you were awake

his touch was so gentle and sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away

“i wish i could tell you how beautiful you are” he whispered and if you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him

after hearing him say that you couldn’t stay still

you opened your eyes, a smile quickly spreading across your features as you turned around to face the green haired boy

midoriya almost had a heart attack when you moved, hoping you hadn’t heard him

but based on the mischievous grin you wore, he knew you had

“well you just did”

“y-you were awake?!”

“yup, i’m glad i was tho”

hE’S INTERNALLY SCREAMING

your gaze is flirtatious and you’re still grinning and he’s just >_<

“now let’s go or we’ll be late!”

midoriya can only nod before following you outside

once you’re on your way to the movie theater, you notice midoriya fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes glued to his shoes

you smile as you suddenly take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together

midoriya looks at you with a nervous expression, what is she doing?

“you know, you’re beautiful too”

you were looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes and he felt so embarrassed yet excited at the same time

because holy fuck you just called him beautiful AND held his hand???

he thinks it can’t get any better than this

and then it does when you kiss him a few weeks later😳🤚🏼

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @ambershaydeoffical )

todoroki shouto:

like bakugou, i don’t really think he’d be clumsy enough to accidentally confess

however, he does like to speak his mind and isn’t afraid to do so

he’s just really honest and blunt

way too honest

which gets him in trouble sometimes but oh well, that’s just the way he is and everyone is pretty used to his personality by now

though, after figuring out he liked you as more than a friend, he started to think more before talking

sometimes you liked to get his opinion on your outfits and/or hairstyles

so you’d drag him to you room and force him to be honest and tell you which one he liked most

it doesn’t matter what you wear, you always look beautiful

he wants to say that, but instead he goes:

“they all look good, i think the purple shirt really fits you tho”

“i was thinking the same thing!”

he doesn’t want to scare you off or make things weird

so he forces himself to hold back on his bluntness

at least when he’s with you

but one day he just can’t help himself

you were on your way back to the dorms after a tiring day at school

todoroki walked next to you, eyes glancing over to you from time to time so you knew he was listening\

you were currently rambling about how shitty your love life was

claiming that there must be something wrong with you since no one seemed to pay attention to you- at least romantically

“i mean seriously, am i doing something wrong or is everyone i’ve met just not for me??”

you had your cheeks puffed out, a pout on your lips as you kicked the small rocks on the floor

todoroki smiled softly at your complaints, thinking irony could be quite funny sometimes

until you spoke up again,

“maybe i’m just too ugly or boring, that’d make more sense”

todoroki almost stops dead in his tracks to see if you have a fever

how could you say that????

you’re so gorgeous to todoroki, and interesting

you’re probably the first girl he’s ever liked this much in his life

and you have the audacity to doubt your worth just because other people can’t seem to appreciate you??

uh uh, he’s not having it

and so, the words come out before he can even register them properly

“if you were as ugly as you say are then, i don’t think i’d like you as much as i do”

your eyes widened and you stopped walking, wondering if you had heard him right

todoroki stops walking too, and once he realizes what happened, he’s looking away, trying to come up with a valid excuse as to why he said that

you, however, can’t stop staring at him

finding the way he glares at the ground adorable

a sense of happiness takes over your whole body when he doesn’t say anything to deny his sudden confession

because he cannot lie to you

you walk towards todoroki until you’re standing right in front of him and before he can even question what you’re doing, you plant a sweet kiss against his cheek

“good thing the feeling is mutual”

your words make him smile and he looks so happy

probably the happiest he’s ever been

and you feel proud of being the one responsible for that pretty smile of his

neither of you really rush into making things official

but the way todoroki lets you cuddle on his left side whenever you’re cold or how he waits for you every morning so you can walk together to class makes it more than clear that he really likes you

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

takami keigo (hawks)

he’d be the type to not give a fuck about it

like he already confessed so what can he do?

nothing. exactly

he’s so cocky and flirty the whole time oml

he’d be shocked for a few seconds, but after seeing you were way more flustered than him, he’d just start teasing you

in a loving way of course

he’s also surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier on, considered how much he flirts with you, but then again, that’s part of his personality so

kinda makes sense you didn’t suspect anything

but he’s so cute and soft for you 🥺

okok so it happened the same day you got your results for your midterms

(you’re a college student here lol)

you had studied your ass off for this tests

staying up until 4AM and having to ditch your friends when they invited you to go out

so you were really positive

you squealed when your teacher hands you back the papers and you see the grade on the right corner

you felt happy to know that all your hard work wasn't in vain

the nerves you had been feeling since the day you took the midterms quickly vanished and were replaced with the feeling of pride

as you walked out of the building, you dialed the person who you wanted to share the news most with

he picked up after the second ring

“what’s up?” his voice was raspy and you ignored the butterflies that appeared in your stomach at the sound

“hey, i have great news!”

“care to elaborate?”

“you’ll find out when i get to your house”

“oh? and who said you could come over?” his tone is teasing and you can practically hear the smirk on his face, which makes you roll your eyes

“i did, now bye. i’ll be there in five minutes and order some pizza to celebrate” you don’t even get hear his complaints because you’ve already hung up

anyone who saw the way you two acted with each other would automatically think you guys were a couple

you were rather affectionate with each other; occasionally holding hands while you walked down the streets and even calling each other by your first names

that was just the bond you two had, and you loved it

he brought you so much comfort

it was almost ridiculous the way he was able to make you smile by simply calling or texting you

you had grown quite attached to the number 2 hero, but you constantly told yourself you needed to snap out of it

because you were friends

nothing more and nothing less

oh but how you wished there was more to your relationship than just that

you shook your head, as if that could help you get rid of the thoughts

true to your word, you soon found yourself outside of keigo’s house

the college you went to wasn’t that far away from there so

you pushed the doorbell and waited around two minutes before a sleepy looking keigo opened the door

his hair was messy and the way he rubbed his eyes and kept yawning let you know he probably had been taking a nap

you scoff, “were you sleeping?” you ask him as you walk into his home, smiling at the familiar scent

he chuckles from behind you, following you into his living room, “maybe, but you woke me up”

“can’t believe your lazy ass earned the number two spot”

“what can i say? it’s a talent,” he shrugs before sitting down next to you on the couch, resting his face on his hand. “so, what’s the good news?”

“so you know i took my midterms last friday, right?” keigo nods. “well, i got my results today” he raises his eyebrows in surprise and waits as you look for the papers inside your bag

once you get them out, you place them in front of your face so he can see for himself

keigo smiles proudly and it only widens when you look up at him expectantly, biting your lower lip

“holy fuck, that’s amazing! you did so good dove”

the nickname makes you weak on the knees but you’re quick to brush it off

you should be used to it, since keigo has been calling you that for quite some time now, yet it never fails to make your heart beat insanely fast

you nod excitedly and put the papers down before you start talking about your experience

keigo can’t help but admire you

you look so happy and cute

it makes him want to kiss you

he wants to shut you up by kissing you, and it sound mean and disrespectful but you just look so gorgeous 😡

and instead of randomly kissing you, he blurts out a confession

“math was probably the hardest but i managed to pass it too, surprisingly, so i-”

he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about anymore, too focused on your smile

“God i like you so much”

you shut up instantly

did you hear that right?

or was your mind playing tricks on you?

keigo looks away momentarily, before locking eyes with you and tilting his head to the side, waiting for a reaction

which he gets soon after because you can’t handle the way he’s looking at you

you look away, hiding your face the best you can

“w-what did you say?”

he smirks after hearing the stutter in your voice

he gets closer to you, until he’s right in front of your face, before saying:

“i like you, y/n”

you don’t know what to say

what are you even supposed to do???

keigo just confessed

your best friend and crush just confessed to you

that’s not something that happens everyday

“i um, like you too” you don’t look at him and he almost chuckles at your shy expression, but decides not to embarrass you any further

“happy to hear that”

he doesn’t say anything for a while and you wonder what the hell is going through his head right

he’s probably just messing with me. oh my God he probably is and i just said i liked him too so what-

your train of thought is cut off when you feel the blonde ruffle your hair while looking at you lovingly

you slowly look up to him

“i’m proud of you, dove”

fuck

“t-thanks”

“now, i think this is something worth celebrating and i’m not talking about pizza. so let me take you out”

“it’s fine, keigo. you don’t need to-”

“can’t hear you, give me about fifteen minutes and then we’ll get going”

you try to tell him no, that it’s fine and you can just eat pizza but he ignores you and still takes you out to eat

i’ll say it again: he’s so sweet :(((

he pays for the food and gives you his jacket when you get cold

he even treats you to some dessert !!

he also kisses you good night when he drops you off at your house <3

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